#idk to me it reads like...“you cant stop this change so lighten up about it”

[freaky-flawless]

[Image description: A screenshot from a post made by the officialrainbowhigh Instagram account reading: "Embracing change will lead to a colorful world of new possiblities--let Sunny's bravery inspire you like it inspires us! Some changes may be out of your control, but having a positive outlook on a situation is ✨"]

Given all the backlash about the reboot, does this not sound kinda passive aggressive?? Lol

[fairycosmos]

lmao im actually so desperate to die im considering swallowing two peach pits just to see if i will choke to death because nothing else ive tried has worked so far . you know what my life doesnt fucking matter ill do it. with my luck it wont work i feel im being punished and thats why i cant die. ill do it. if i dont get back to you something happened but i doubt it. im tired like you said i deserve peace. we do. bye maybe i hope this works this is pathetic but im desperate to die

hey, i'm really sorry to hear you're feeling this way. it seems like you're totally overwhelmed right now and i completely understand how debilitating that can be. i know there's nothing i can do or say that will really change how awful it feels, and you're probably not in the headspace to read all this. but if you ever want to come back to it, it'll be here. maybe you could try some of these grounding exercises, here / here and here beforehand to get you in a place where you can focus a little. it's alright, there's no rush or pressure. i just wanted to say first of all that this is not pathetic in the slightest. sometimes the world gets on top of you and you go througn so much trauma and hurt that it really does feel like giving up is the only option. people can only take so much, and i get it. that's the trick of the suicidal brain though, i think. it uses life's suffering and your own past experiences to convince you that it is always going to be this way. to romanticize death and make it into something it isn't in your head. it is actually very hard to die, as i'm sure you know. and it's not the peaceful option or escape you're looking for, either. and the most paramount thing i want to say is that your life 100% does matter. this was never up for debate. you were born with an inherent worth and it hasn't went away just because you can no longer see it. you honestly can't fathom how you've impacted peoples lives, directly and indirectly, and even just the world itself. you don't have to be anybody but who you are, i promise, the whole point is just having the human experience you're having. you're fulfilling your purpose by existing, no matter how hard it is at times. i think it's a good sign that you reached out to me, i honestly think it shows that you have a lot of self awareness regarding what's going on and that you're truly capable of asking for the help that you need. you're not in a place right now where you can trust your thoughts and feelings, so it's good to seek an objective perspective from somebody else. this state of mind is so transient, it's so intense that it's not built to last. i'm not trying to downplay how unbelievably hard to live with, of course, but it can be freeing to acknowledge that this is not all there is, no matter how difficult it is to endure currently. you deserve to be here and to exist in a way that heals you, no matter what your mind is telling you. there can be a variety of underlying causes for suicidal feelings, and obviously they're very serious issues that need real medical attention in order to begin to overcome. but with that and with time, it is totally possible to learn to live a full live along side all you've been through. even though right now i'm sure that's the lastthhing on earth you want to do.

are you currently working with a mental health professional of any sort? your doctor, a therapist, a support group, even a hotline? if not, i would really urge you to get in touch with them as soon as possible. and if you already are, let them know where your thoughts are at lately so they can focus on upping your level of care. if you're worried about money, there are cost-effective choics available, like finding a therapist who offers a sliding scale price, or looking into mental health resources within your community. i know your brain is probably screaming at you to do the opposite, but i promise any baby step in the right direction is going to pay off. the prospect of reaching out and being honest is a daunting one, and i'm only bringing it up as something to consider at the moment (or when you feel able to) so please don't write it off all together. you don't have to do anything right now, just know you have options. you honestly do. and talking to someone really is not as bad as your brain is probably building it up to be. just like with physical illness, mental illness can be confronted and treated. it's all about learning how to manage your unique mind, and even if it takes a lifetime, it is so possible to lessen the frequency of episodes like this. or to become more prepared for them so they feel less erratic when they do occur. discussing about what you've been through, pinpointing root causes of your suicidal thoughts, learnng how to implement healthy coping mechanisms into your daily routine, building a support system, finding the medication for you if needed - all of this is going to make a tangible difference. it is not going to fix everything, obviously, but it is going to lighten the weight and broaden your perspective on yourself and on living. you deserve to be supported without judgement and with genuine care, you deserve to be listened to. there are a lot of people, professionals or otherwise, even just strangers like me, who are willing to filling that role for you.

idk how it is for you and i won't pretend to, but sometimes suicidal people don't want to lose their lives, they just want to stop living the way they are. with so much chaos and unresolved pain and exhaustion. you don't have to hurt yourself in order to get there. i know when you're in this mindset, any even slightly positive piece of advice just feels impossible to believe. but even if you can't seriously take it on board at the moment, i hope when you're in a more grounded place, you can at least consider as an alternative to absolute hopelessness. you may as well, because you are alive and that is not always going to feel like a curse. it is so hard to believe it, i get that, but it is a fundamental truth. you are in an extremely difficult moment but that is not your whole existence. the future is ever changing, and you've already made it through the past, so the only thing that really matters is this moment. focus on what you need, not what you want, but what you need to do right now to truly self - prioritize. even if that feels like the last thing on earth you want do. if self destruction and self harm was gonna make you feel better, it would've by now. welcome the idea of trying something new, maybe just the notion of attempting to guide yourself through this with a bit of self-compassion. please, if you feel like you are an immediate danger to yourself, please exercise any sense of self preservation/ survival instinct and call the authorities, a hotline or a friend/family member right away. no matter what bullshit your brain is telling you, no matter how heavy your heart is right now . everything is always always always changing and things are going to change beyond recognition, it's the one thing you can count on. you deserve to stick around to see it all, and once you've made the decision to do so, you won't feel so stuck and conflicted anymore. i'm going to leave some links that i think might help a little in this moment, but like i said, please call someone if you feel you can't be alone right now. i'm rooting for u a lot and i really hope you are able do the right thing for yourself. if it's all too hard, focus on getting through the next hour. if that's too much, the next minute. and if that's too much, the next second. break it down into what you can handle and let yourself live. and then just go from there. sending you all my love.

list of hotlines

coping with depression

coping with suicidal thoughts

so you feel like shit?

template for creating a safety plan

[mysplaced-pen]

THe RFA as the Heathers musical????? (◕‿-)*･｡ﾟ I LOVE YOU SO MUCH THAT YOU KNWO WE BOTH NEED THIS.(ɔˆ ³(ˆ⌣ˆc) PLease the love o f my life, the 7 to my 07, the Chandelier to my McNAmara the Viktor to my YUuuri! (っ◔◡◔)っ ♥

babe!! i love you!!( ˘ ³˘)❤  you right, we need this. SOOOOO~~

[ DISCLAIMER : i didn’t really match up personalities??? its hard. im smol. its 2am. you’re right next to me. ]

Cast

MC - Veronica 

Zen - Heather Chandler 

Yoosung - Heather Duke

Jaehee - Heather McNamara 

Jumin - Kurt 

707 / Luciel / Saeyoung - JD

V / Jihyun - Ram 

Saeran - Martha

Rika - Mrs. Fleming 

Vanderwood - Preppy Stud / Principal Gowan / general ensemble 

Highlights

Beautiful 

MC being all smol and hopeful - “Dear Diary, I believe I’m a good person” “We were kind before, we can be kind once more” 

If Vanderwood is the general ensemble, its just them yelling out insults. “Freak! Shortbus! Bug-eyes! Lard ass!” etc.

MC about V: “smacking lunch trays and being a huge dick”

Saeran loving the Princess Bride???

MC about Jumin: “kind of like being the tallest dwarf” 

Jumin: “you have a zit right there” 

Jaehee being head cheerleader is amazing

also: “if i took a meat cleaver down the center of your skull, i’d have matching halves. thats very important”

Yoosung being Duke and being snarky to Zen 

MC about Zen: “he is a mythic bitch.” which is me about him tbh

Rika not giving a fuck about Yoosung throwing up in the bathroom rip 

Saeran watching MC get sold to the rfa smh

Candy Store 

literally everything about this is iconic

Zen: “WHY NOW ARE YOU PULLING ON MY D I C K?” 

the subtle gay between Veronica + Mac is now Jaehee x MC

Zen to Yoosung: “SHUT UP HEA THER”

Zen being a dramatic asshole with that long note 

Jaehee hitting them harmonies hell yeah 

i love this part of this stupid au listen

Fight For Me 

MC to 707: “hey, Mr. No Name Kid”

707 literally beating up Jumin and V???????

where is this au going

7 is actually 3 cats in a trench coat

MC is #whipped 

Vanderwood in the background: “holy shit! holy shit holy shit holy shiiiiiit” 

MC in general: “Dᵃᵃᵃaamn”

MC knows CPR how handy 

“You can punch real good”

Freeze Your Brain

ok but?? all of this song is 7??????

“who needs cocaineeeee?”

minus the dad rip

7 goes to 7-Eleven

god bless

“altar of slush” is something Seven would have ok 

*sip noise* 

Big Fun

idk its party song

Yoosung, Jaehee, and Zen going: “dang dang diggity dang a dang”

V hating freshman

Jumin going: “yOU NEED A JELLO SHOT”

disregard martha having feelings for ram rip i dont ship that

“LETS USE THEIR SHOWERS. THAT SOUNDS LIKE BIG FUN”

its a party idk what to tell you

Dead Girl Walking

do I have to explain this one?

MC in 7′s yard

MC about Zen: “the demon queen of high school”

“spend these 30 hours getting..fREAAKKYYYYYYYY YEA”

Seven: “how’d you find my address?” and “that works for me, hoop”

its a sex song

thats it

yall do the do

The Me Inside of Me

Zen is dead

Zen: “IM BIGGER THAN JOHN LENNON”

this is what Zen deserves in death

i cant believe mc and 707 poisoned zen

this is the song his fanclub sings

jaehee is in mourning

rika: “this is the loveliest suicide note I’ve ever read”

Blue

rip 

Jumin and V, drunk and trying to get into MC’s pants?

seems legit

V: “Heyyy ‘ronia” ;)))))

MC: “you got a left hand, use it”

Yoosung and Jaehee just shaking their heads in the car and singing along

this song is a mess

Jumin and V had too much wine

Our Love is God

here w e goooo

707 being all cute at first

Jumin and V: “free pussy. and we dont even have to buy it a pizza”

Our love is god 7

“Ich Luge” bullets yeah sure saeyoung

“we’re what killed the dinosaurs”

707 kills V????????

Jumin to 7: “you killed my best friend”

nOW IM SAD ITS 2:30ISH AND IM GONNA CRY

My Dead Gay Son

Vanderwood can move over, I’ll sing this song

i mean…i love my dead gay sons

they’re bi, but….

anyway 

now they’re dead

rip in pieces

Seventeen

this is where MC tries to convice 7 to be normal

and its cute

and they talk about prom and dancing and camping

cute couple moment 

thats about it

Shine A Light

here’s rika trying to make light of a situation that shouldn’t be lightened on

and the start of Jaehee’s breakdown

“my husband left” the world, ye

Rika: “i’ve joined a cult”

also Rika: “so Steve, I’m ending our affair. And I faked it. every single time.”

….anyway

Lifeboat

my beautiful wife’s beautiful solo

she’s so sad

the people around her are dying

she’s kill this song it would sound so good

being salty about Yoosung being the new leader

“well who made her captain?!…still, the weakest must go”

save my wife

Shine A Light(Reprise)

aka Yandere Yoosung

or, in Jaehee’s thoughts

look, more subtext gay

honestly, just….

im sad, next song

Kindergarten Boyfriend

smh Saeran we don’t need anymore deaths

[ changes this song to some angsty twin situation because,,, ] 

 “Where naptime lasts for centuries”

someone spare him

Yo Girl

the return of all the dead people!

and 7 really starting to go crazy

Zen’s ominous: “he’s got your handwriting down cold~”

Vanderwood as MC’s parents. 

The Dead Trio: “come join Heather in hell~”

MC’s desperate “get out of my house!” 

707′s “knock, knock~~~” 

i like this song tbh its short but ooooooh

Meant To Be Yours

this song is also just 707 in general

just *clenches fist* ooooooh 

he’s this angsty 

plot twist: this whole musical is just one of 7′s bad endings 

sound effects for days 

“bring marshmallows, we’ll make s’mores~”

and then it starts to get Really Angsty

“you were meant to be mine. i am all that you need. you carved open my heart. can’t just leave me to bleed. vERONICA- open the, open the door please”

and then mc does….the Thing

“STILL I WILL IF I MUUSSSSSST”

vanderwood as mc’s mom yelling when they see what happened

Dead Girl Walking (Reprise)

MC going all 180 here and now they wanna die with Seven

Rika back at it again: “I threw together a lovely tribute, especially under such short notice”

Just imagine Jaehee doing a cheer that goes “send you straight to hell!”

MC trying hard here, “I wish your dad was good, I wish grownups understood”

Seven going full psycho: “I wish I had more TNT” 

*cue epic fight scene*

“Send you straight to-”

I Am Damaged

SADNESS

7: “I respectfully, disagree.”

he’s too damaged. far too damaged

im gonna cry;;

“I worship you…I’d trade my life for yours”

o H MY GOD

“And when I disappear..”

WA IT HOLD O N  NOT THIS WAAAAY

“our love is god…”

 B O O M

yoosung: “you look like hell” mc: “yeah. i just got back”

Seventeen (Reprise)

and we leave you with these questions:

will saeran ever get over kindergarten?

will jaehee and MC finally Be Gay as a true ending?

when will MC stop

find out more next time on: “Random Ass AUs: the Musical”