#idk what emotions i'm feeling right now but they're not pleasant

[tangible-fortitude]

idkhow spotify bio changed again. not an "indie act" anymore, i guess. not a duo either.

[theamityelf]

We’ve got enough Kamukuras to fill up a bucket or something at this point, lol. Regarding that, what’s your thoughts on a Kamukurafied Komaeda? I’ve seen peoples takes on him before but I’m just curious on what yours would be

Oh, I love this. More Kamukuras than we know what to do with. I've definitely seen some sketches of a Nagizuru concept, and those were awesome, but let me think, lol.

I feel like his luck has to do something during the surgery itself. Like, I think we almost can't have a character with Nagito's luck and say his luck was being chill during something as pivotal and time-consuming as the Kamukura Project. So I'm thinking the scientists made a small but crucial mistake on him that is both good luck and bad luck depending on how you look at it.

I'm going to say, instead of just removing his emotions and autonomous motivation, the scientists manage to accidentally give him super overactive reward centers. The rest of the project was a success. His emotions are still gone in most ways, but now, unlike most Kamukuras, he gets powerful hits of dopamine for completing tasks. He considers himself lucky, since he's enjoying himself more than the other Kamukuras, but the result also means that he becomes severely pleasure-seeking.

The only thing he can feel is reward. This means he is addicted to practicing his talents, but it also means he will go out of his way to use as many of his talents as he can.

The scientists initially write this off as a positive; feeling highly rewarded for a job well done means he's more engaged in what they ask of him than any of his predecessors. Sure, they're a little worried when he starts disassembling and reassembling things over and over, worried that becoming addicted to small, meaningless busy work will start to take priority over the actual things they want him to do. But he's still a Kamukura, and he still eventually gets bored of repetition, so it's fine.

They should be more worried about the disassembling part. The fact that he feels just as rewarded by tasks he himself creates, just as rewarded by work he himself makes necessary, just as happy to fix what he himself breaks, should worry them more.

They should be really worried about how easily he gets bored.

But this trial of the Kamukura Project (and if we're including every other AU in this, then I guess he's Iteration 4, after Mahiru's Iteration 3, lol. Byakuya I still see as more of a joint endeavor between the Togami Corporation and Hope's Peak, not nominally a part of the Hope Cultivation Plan, but rather a "separate" project, maybe called the Heir Enhancement Plan. He's still called Byakuya Togami. Then again, it would make sense for Nagito to have been before Makoto, since I could see Hope's Peak using a luckster and a reserve course student one year, then the next year's luckster as well. Maybe Mahiru got thrown in because she caught them dragging off Sato, idk. So, Iteration 1 is Hajime's Izuru Kamukura. Iteration 2 is Nagito. Iteration 3 is Makoto. Iteration 4 is Sato, but for right now I'm saying there was some complication and she died while they were working on her. And Iteration 5 is Mahiru.)

But this trial of the Kamukura Project is really pleasant to be around. When the scientists question him, he's very eager to answer the questions. After all, positive social interactions are highly rewarding for him.

He's extremely physically affectionate with the other Kamukuras, though Makoto is the only one who always tolerates it, so Makoto is the one he goes the farthest with, especially when Izuru isn't around to stop him. (Byakuya will also intervene, but not as regularly. And Mahiru sees it as respecting Makoto's autonomy to let him decide who's allowed to touch him.) He'll just be cuddling Makoto and nuzzling into his hair, and Makoto is just blinking and stoic. Bonus points if Makoto says something like, "I like it," one time when they do this, and it's the first thing he's ever said he liked. His first opinion ever, as Iteration 3, is that cuddling is nice.

(Izuru will be jealous of this. And Nagito would feel extremely rewarded by the accomplishment.)

Nagito Kamukura does not have compassion or all that much regard for the consequences of his actions. Because of his new analyst talents, he's able to plan ahead which courses of action will be the most rewarding for him, which means his pleasure-seeking isn't short-sighted, but if a course of action contains 5 guaranteed instances of pleasure and 10 possible negative repercussions, it is probably full steam ahead on that plan unless he can think of one with more guaranteed instances of pleasure. The only consequences that matter are ones that limit his ability to keep doing things.

In the at-this-point-inevitable event that there's some mass breakout of the Kamukuras, I could see Nagito staying behind to tend to the few scientists who didn't immediately die by Byakuya's or Mahiru's hand. Once he finishes bandaging them up so they're on the mend, he'll break an arm here, a leg there, so he has more stuff to heal.

[eybefioro]

I've decided to make a fic rec post every Saturday 💛

Weekly fic rec, by yours truly...

It's raining outside. You hear the pit-pat of the raindrops falling on the ground. I welcome you to my house, and there's a pleasant smell of coffee mixing with the smell of rain and wet soil. You look over the window, and the green hue of the plants is vibrant in the mist. They're happy, and you can almost hear them singing with gratitude in the rain. I invite you to sit in a comfy armchair. Would you like some coffee? Or tea perhaps?

So I'm going to start my weekly recs with one where "The author played with my heartstrings so well they are singing". Yep. That's how I described it between tears.

God's Silence Like the Sun by oceantears

Rated Gen, ~9k words.

My tags: Quiet, gentle and romantic.

Summary: Crowley is looking for something. Has always been looking, perhaps, but now, in their cottage in the South Downs, his search becomes much more obvious to Aziraphale. It happens every day, and after a while, it becomes almost performative. As if Crowley were just waiting for Aziraphale to ask what he is doing, exactly. That, of course, means that Aziraphale won't ask what Crowley is looking for under the carpet, in the soil of his garden or between the sofa cushions. He won't ask, regardless of how long Crowley's search continues, a careful performance. Regardless of how curious Aziraphale is. This is a matter of pride, after all. And that means it doesn't matter that he wakes to find Crowley snooping under the closet in the middle of the night. It means that he is not at all, not one bit, not even slightly intrigued by the looks Crowley throws him during his search, clearly meant to irritate him. He won't ask - he has that much pride. ...oh, darn it, he will ask.

Okay. Where do I start. One of the things I love about this fic is how interesting and simple the concept is: Aziraphale and Crowley are in their cottage, and Crowley keeps searching for something, making Aziraphale curious.

And that's it- we will follow Aziraphale on their day-to-day. We will get to know Azirpahale’s musings about Crowley's habit, until he finally asks about it.

I got so curious about what Crowley was doing, but it never got in the way of what is the focus of this fic: their love.

It's so tender. Aziraphale loves Crowley so much. Crowley loves him back so much. They know and understand eachother a lot! And they are so domestic! This is so fluff, but in such a real way- no that is not the right word. It's in a "routine" way? A human way? Idk. It's the same kind of "fluff" that I have with my family; the fluff of waking up and hugging my mom, the fluff of saying good night to my brothers and kissing their foreheads, the fluff of arriving home to my cat screaming for attention, the fluff of sharing time with someone. The domesticity and life and habits and routines.

I love the yellow crocus x blue lilies debacle. I love their light bickering, their stubbornness. I chuckled so softly with how they interact with eachother. Aaaaaa. This is all so soft.

And then we discover what Crowley is looking for. Aziraphale finally asks. And that's when the dam broke. It's so poetic. So tender. So soft. So loving. I truly can't describe how much their dialogue made me feel. How much it touched me. They love eachother so much. They are so caring and soft and tender. And they're so vulnerable.

I felt like in that tale of boiling frogs (I know, weird comparison, but bear with me). It started slow. Things got warm slowly, at a pace that I didn't notice things building up; then I suddenly was in a pool of tears. Good tears, mind you. It was so much joy and love that they had to became tears. The prose and the rhythm the author settled woven me so sweetly, I got carried away so softly, and then there's was just SO MUCH. So much emotion. So much.

And the last paragraph. Oh dear. I- look I cant be objective obout this fic. It turned into a ramble. I'm sorry. Just trust me when I say that this is beautiful. It's so gentle. So warm.

I was having a bad day. I asked for fluffy fic recs on the maggot server. Champ sent me this link. I read it and felt the weight in my shoulder vanish, and was embraced by a blanket of love and hugged pretty tightly. The cry was good.

This fic is a mug of hot cocoa and hug of a loved one. That's what I have to say.

(My recs will probably be all like this lol I'm not good at this I just wanna gush about fics that touched me and try to make you read it)

[lorianbladeoflothric]

BONK!

Hiyo! I bring a silly ask! What kind of pokemon do you think the ER cast would like to have around?

(Choose however as many or as little characters as you like <3)

Oh dude, be prepared for a long answer bc I was obsessed with pokemon for the first half of the pandemic so I make teams for characters a lot and I try to put a lot of thought into them, but sometimes it really is just rule of cool.

Starting with Ranni because I don't get her, so her team is basically just themed after her.

Shiny Midnight Lycanroc - She's had this one since she was a child Lunala - in a pokemon au she would have met it instead of the dark moon or maybe it was passed down from Rennala Frosslass - is ghost. is ice. is woman. what more do you want? Mega Banette - Mega bc it looks cooler than normal Banette, but in general it's the possessed doll pokemon so it makes sense to give it to her Mismagius - For the crone that taught her magic Alolan Ninetales - A doglike ice type to round everything out

For Rennala, I did what you would more likely find around her now than the team she may have used in the past.

Clefable - Among her sweetings, there are also members of the entire clefable line scattered around the library, gathering around her as they would the full moon. Shiny Gardevoir - Shiny bc blue to signify that Ranni has left this one to guard her in her slumber. Cresselia - Moon theme and pleasant dreams, it's a crescent moon so idk if this would be her Moon pokemon the way Lunala is Ranni's but it feels right Midday Lycanroc - the red wolf of radagon Hatterene - This one could go one of two ways. It's a witchy looking thing and it attacks anyone who shows too much emotion. This could either be a pokemon the Raya Lucaria scholars left to watch her and make sure she doesn't try anything, or it could be like Gardevoir and one of her children (Rykard in this case) put it there to guard her.

Like Rennala, Radahn's "team" is just the pokemon encountered while fighting him. Which is to say Leonard the mudsdale and various minior that crash down during and after the battle.

Rykard's turn! I know there's not a single snake on this team but hear me out

Magmortar and Delphox - He developed magma sorceries Groudon - This is Eiglay. I know it's not a snake but like. look. Big catastrophe causing thing sealed beneath a volcano. It's Eiglay. Yamask - explicitly the soul of a dead human. Not sure if this is on his team so much as scattered around volcano manor, but it felt important to mention. Magearna - Virgin abductors Mawile - This one is probably Tanith's but I'm not doing a team for her. It's the decoy pokemon, it fits both of them. Tanith is like the main body, Rykard is like the mouth.

Leaving the carians, we have the easiest team so far: Godfrey. Perrserker, Machamp, Incineroar - Self explanatory really, they fight like him. Sirfetch'd - His knights, the decorum he has as Elden Lord, and the Storm King he defeated was a bird. Solgaleo - Serosh, godfrey is sun-aligned. Azumarill - HEAR ME OUT. Huge power + high hp makes it a powerful foe, water to fight against all the different fires that oppose the erdtree, fairy to conquer the dragons, its shiny is gold, and the most important point of all: Gap Moe

I want to make a team for Godwyn, but it's very hard since he doesn't really...have much to him? Haxorus and Kommo-o - Golden + Dragon Roaring Moon - Literally an ancient dragon Cursola - Analagous to deathblight Fortissax isn't in his party, but he would probably be Giratina?

Godrick's team is a joke kinda, but Machamp - 4 arms plus one of Godfrey's iconic pokemon Shiny Magikarp - for the Lord of All That Is Golden Corviknight - For the storm king Dracovish - Grafting! Dragon! It was so hard not to make his entire team galarian fossils bc they're all grafted freaks

For Malenia, I think she would have a different team before her rot got too bad. These three go along with her graceful fighting style pretty well, and since she is a walking toxic status effect...

Bisharp is the only one who survives and evolves into Kingambit. Ceruledge - dual wielding swords, edgy and cool, since it's a ghost she can't kill it by just being near it. She trained it up alongside her cleanrot knights. Quaquaval - a gift from the blind swordsman The last three are some of many nuisances that follow her around at the haligtree. Things that like poison and rot are just attracted to her.

Miquella's team is probably exactly what you'd expect. Silcoon - It doesn't seem to want to hatch... Togetic - "These Pokémon are never seen anywhere near conflict or turmoil. In recent times, they’ve hardly been seen at all." They're also known to bless people, very fitting for what we know about Miq Shaymin - It purifies toxins and grows flowers Comfey - more flowers, more healing, I bet there's a bunch of these around the Halligtree. Musharna - dreamworld pokemon <3 Gardevoir - Counterpart to Malenia's old Gallade. It's his strongest pokemon and only fights to protect him

Marika has no pokemon, she may have at some point, but right now the only pokemon she's around is Ultra Necrozma (The Elden Beast, bc it's golden, evil, a legendary, and from space)

Aaaaaand the last character I'm going to do is Radagon, but if anyone's read this far and wants me to do a specific character outside the god family tree, I'd be hella down.

Zoroark - You Know Why He Has This (it can disguise as humans) Zacian - Radagon seems to be tied to wolves/dogs, plus it has his greatsword Aegislash - this one just feels right Trevenant - for the erdtree Minior - for his elden stars incantation

So yeah that was way too many words and I'm sure as soon as I post this I'll think of better ones but yeah! Ty for the ask bud!!

[ashe-dreamthief]

brainstorming rambling:

i've been struggling to understand what direction i want to take my game in. lately my visions have been far and few (perhaps due to different meds, idk) but last night i experienced an intense vision. it was not pleasant, but it is what i *needed* to see. so i have decided to build my hypersigil into my game project.

at the very beginning, my game was going to be a yume nikki fangame, but that is extremely limiting and leaves me directionless. the new direction of my game will be the implementation of this magical circuit. the goal will be for the player to help Eira (the character) in the act of casting a spell.

i've been reworking certain graphics & etc because i want to move away from the "yume nikki" look, but i have my goal in place now.

Eira will keep her basic design traits & everything, but i am going to go all-in on the alchemical & astronomical symbology on her (purple) hood. these changes will be too small to incorporate in a game sprite, which is intentional as i plan on keeping her basic design as the main representation.

as for this "new" hypersigil, there will be 10 aspects i will invoke, this will likely be:

red - the shared experience of despair/agony/pain/hunger, the extreme intensity of emotions and how much damage this can have on the human soul. but this pain is helpful, it is a base feeling that connects all life, we are united in our suffering and thus band together.

fire salamander - deeply personal reasons, that is all i am willing to say now.

°

blue/sapphire - reality as it is, the placidity of the world around us. the world as it is, as it will be, as it was, as it never will be....all at the same time. think of a lifeless ocean teeming with life.

kelpie - i don't have much to add for invoking the kelpie. this kelpie will be represented as a seafoam colored horse with a horn, covered in shells, sea life, & etc. kelpies aren't necessarily associated with these concepts, but i am the one crafting this spell and i have decided.

°

silver (i'm not sure on the color yet, i've been struggling to visualize it exactly, but i am on the right track) - the celestial sophia, the accumulation of knowledge itself. knowledge is not action, knowledge is not belief, knowledge is not drive nor reason nor purpose, knowledge simply is.

the owl - in some legends, the keeper of knowledge. in some stories, they're protectors. in others, they are creatures of death. this owl i invoke will be inspired by the spirit of my aunt and how she painted owls

°

white- stillness, perfection, the pleroma, keter, the monad, the unholy divine. the most despicable crime in all existence. i have seen the face of the god machine and is it is not to be glorified. one can use the same structure of the god machine to build their own gods, a path where one begins to find true power.

the seraph/hashmallim - idk quite how i want to represent it, whether i go with 6 wings or 12 (or another number (i might have to do some more studying on gematria)). it will still be animal-like in appearance. perhaps phoenix-like.

the eyes on the hood remain closed.

ALTERNATIVELY: the antelope. i really like the idea and drafts, so i am leaning more towards scrapping the angel designs and doing an full antelope design

°

purple - binah. the innate magical workings of the universe. it is not "magic" as it is the machinations of altering the world to one's own whim, but from a human point of view, that is magic.

rabbit - rabbits are not traditionally associated with this, but the concept revealed itself to me as a purple rabbit. this is why Eira takes on the purple bunny hood.

°

yellow - the shared human experience of passion/drive. godforms and egregores thrive off this energy as yellow is the living aspect of the human imagination. fiction affects reality which affects fiction, fiction does not exist, there is no such thing as causality.

the wind & sky falcon (sparrowhawk) - an entity i have had a few "discussions" with. this is something i cannot verbalize yet. main yellow design in the eyes.

°

rose - connection, the action of becoming one with others, irregardless of quantity.

daoine sith/fae - still conceptualizing this one, haven't drawn any design drafts yet. ideas include the otter-dog, the puca (probably not, already using a couple rabbit designs), winged cat, lynx, carbuncle,

°

green - the very aspect of life itself, the unstoppable force of evolution. a force that cannot be stopped by any means whatsoever. a careless beast that brings about all life but also extinguishes life to incentivize more life. intergalactic wars have raged and will rage all to force the continual "perfection" of the living.

the dragon - specifically i will likely be invoking the plumed serpent.

°

void - the void. the husks. the qliphoth. i can not explain such a concept in so few words. the light created is so blinding that it appears as a void. the center of a unseeable luminous ring that outwardly shines all light.

the shedim - i once made a promise not to invoke these forces, but i will be breaking this promise. sorry ~Mar, but you left me to discover for myself and i have found an alternative path, you will not be "saving my soul", i have already damned myself. perhaps we may meet again someday.

so i shall be invoking the "void bunny" - Eira dismantled her very existence in order to take on and embody these aspects. but the act of dismantling one's very own self means the erasure of everything, past, present, future, what could be, what couldn't be, what never is, and what always is. from this totality of void, Eira had to grasp the lights and build her body, soul, and mind. she is the bunny's shade, a body to carry out her will, to embody all and also embody nothing. her first act was to wrap herself in the garb of the purple light and become once more.

°

light/kaleido - the cosmic dragon of light, maya, da'at with the husks, the dream itself. a combined aspect of all. on its own, it simply exists. but with a grasp upon it, one can alter the very fabric of every reality that ever was, will be, and never is. but those who reach the state of being able to do so, evolve into beings that need not alter the nature of all things, they can simply step outside. an ultimate nirvana

chalkydri/al-mi'raj/the rainbow "serpent"/an entity sharing many different forms. the aspect i invoke shall be the vestage of the winged jackalope. i will not explain my reasons