#idk why I keep getting tossed into the same BS but while I clearly haven't learned how to avoid it I sure as hell have learned from my past | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

awaiting-my-escape · 2 years

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Oh just in case I'm being scrutinized by someone who really could be doing a million other things that would be actually responsible instead of neurotic, obsessive, and narcissistic, the incorrect label you were looking for was "pretentious", but that's more of that whole projection thing that's textbook for narcissists and is not an accurate label.

Like for real I'm just trying to live my life and grow as a person so when I said I wasn't going to play narcissist's games with people who would rather waste time clowning around trying to "win" rather than also being mature and responsible and growing as people, I meant it. I don't need to dig for receipts, I never had any desire to use them, but even if I did they've not been made hard to access. I do not want to be involved in nonsense and if this were truly a game that I was forced into, I would quit.

If I am forced to continue playing a game which should have never been started, I will release what I have and the outcome will be brutal. Quit while you're ahead. I know it's virtually impossible for me to win a narcissist's game, but I absolutely know how to make everyone lose. Do not force my hand.

#personal #sorry to my good followers #idk why I keep getting tossed into the same BS but while I clearly haven't learned how to avoid it I sure as hell have learned from my past #I make a point to try to be understanding and process my emotions in a way that leads to constructive solutions and avoids anger #and in general it works #but now that I know that I've been being purposely undermined and the boundaries I set were intentionally disregarded?#yeah now I'm mad #I understand how narcissists work I just don't know why #maybe some chronic diet-related nutritional deficiencies coupled with certain addictions led to inadequate fueling of the brain?#still doesn't excuse narcissistic manipulation though #my therapist helped me piece together a lot of this #and I sent her unaltered screenshots so I know I'm not misrepresenting anything on my end #I was just manipulated into not regarding the red flags by a narcissist until their unfounded envy pushed them to attempt sabotage #and it's pointless because that's not going to help them unless they literally derive pleasure from trying to deliberately cause suffering #and at that point you're just being a societal plague #aka a detriment rather than a benefit to the world #do you think that a smart and rational person would choose that?#would someone who wants the world around them to be better opt for that?#if you want to be destructive then just don't get me wrapped up in it.#it's plainly unethical.

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