#ie in my washing machine

[bluedestinybluebird]

This Barbie is dressed like she's ready for the mass extinction event (while being ready for the pinkest premiere of the year)

[little-miss-dilf-lover]

heyyy. Just had a thought about what would tan would be like on reader's birthday but they aren't together. So readeranf the twins are friends so what kind of stuff would they get her. Feel like tan would get something really meaningful and sweet that is something that he must really listen to what reader says in general to know. And when he gives her it he's reaally awkward and a blushing mess cyz he's worried she won't like it and he's saying stuff like'you can return it if u don't like it' 'its a stupid gift so u probably won't like it'. Love ur stuff recently :))

my baby hi!! sorry this has taken me longer to reply to than I usually would. been a little busy last couple days!! I got a little carried away and I couldn’t stop coming up with things😭💌

TAN GIVING READER BIRTHDAY GIFTS.

but

this guy is so thoughtful that no one can tell me otherwise!! he's a good listener, especially when you think he's not paying attention AND he's got cash to flunk which helps aid his gift-giving abilities so so so...

he's a bit of a snooper, so if he sees a tab open on your laptop or computer and it's a shopping website, he'd quickly click on it and take a picture so that he can remember what it is. maybe he deletes the items from your cart so you can't buy them for yourself

if you and the twins are shopping, and tan sees you eye up something, he'd make a note to pick it up (he's come back in a few hours or next day)

it depends on what things you like - ie flashy designer gifts or gifts for things you need/ can't buy. but he doesn't want to disappoint you so he'd get you something within that category (in that safe sweet spot)

maybe he mistakes things, so if he thinks you like a certain candle scent, he'd get it for you in air freshener form, not knowing that you know there's a difference in the smells (hence why you've never bought it for yourself) so he thinks he's being sweet (he is) but you don't really like the smell, but he's so thoughtful that you say you love the scent name (that makes sense right?)

he goes overboard and definitely puts lem's gifts to shame (even though he got you perfect gifts (I feel like lem just knows what you want and like, and the presents have funny inside jokes))

he tries hard to find the balance between a friendly and romantic gift - not wanting to overstep that line 

maybe your washing machine broke? so he buys you a new one, but a model better than your one before. maybe you mention how your floor seems empty? so he buys you a rug to match your space (would probs ask lem for advice) maybe you mention how you're running low on a lip gloss you like? but he doesn't know the shade name, so he gets you all the shades in that brand/ line so you can pick and choose when you want (it's your go-to one and you have it out often, hence why he knows the brand - he can read the logo) clear, pinks, purples, reds, browns, oranges - he'd get them all 

maybe you mention how you want to liven up your bedroom to match the season? so he buys you new bedding with colours to match your room (again, he asks lem to help) maybe you had your eye on a pair of shoes or boots but they're way out of your price range? guess what? he's had them boxed up and in his wardrobe the whole time (ready to give you on your bday) maybe there's a foreign snack you like but it's near impossible to find? so you bet when he's away for work he hunts around the shops to see if he can find any. ALSO!!!!! if he can, he'd buy loads, like I mean loads and pay to mail them back home so he can give it to you for your bday (dying)

and when it comes to actually giving them to you, he's all nervy and anxious bc he doesn't want you to hate them, so he puts it out there that he's uncertain about what he got you (even though he knows he did a good job) ALSO he really really values your opinion!!! so he says things like "I got the receipt at home if you don't like it" "that one's stupid. I thought it was alright in the shop, but I dunno" "you're hard to buy for (lie) I'll get you better stuff at christmas (or whatever it is you do or don't celebrate)" “I won’t be offended if you swap it” (or return/ refund)

and the reason you have a slight scowl is not bc of the gifts, but bc of what he's saying. like they're PERFECT gifts and he's saying that they're not 

so you're like "how did you even know I wanted that?" and he says how he has his sources yadayada

he's such a cutie pie <3

[meruz]

layer breakdown of the deranged process i took here... i had a vague idea that i wanted this really washed out far background, a dark foreground, and a more spotlighted bar area in the middle. but then i proceeded to make up the rest of the coloring as I went along and i think I salvaged it in the end but im still kind of mixed on how it turned out. more shots under the cut

started sketching with deku on the left and then decided to flip it and go the other direction when i realized I wanted to make the composition kind long and could plausibly use it as a book cover or smth later ie.

so dekus compression sleeve and scars are on the wrong arm/hand now but whatever. I'm kind of a sucker for a wrap around cover. i also had jirou originally much closer to bakugo but i moved her to dodge the potential spine/gutter.

you can also see that I originally wanted to put an ATM machine in the corner. i think i associate them really heavily with like underground music venue bars in the u.s. PLUS it wouldve been cool to have like another more cool-tinted light source but I was poking around google maps reference of japanese venues and couldnt find enough evidence of atm ubiquity to feel right putting it there. the sacrifices i make for cultural accuracy.

ended up basing the bg a lot off of antiknock in shinjuku with a little bit of the pie shop in dc ( i guess the link is red walls and checkered floors)

edit: oh yeah i also wanted to post a pic of my inks just because theyre my favorite part. please look at my lines

[beachsideufo]

besides silly radical aliens. are there any other things you may like? of media and silly stuff!

hmm elts cee

computer hardware

types of fruit

voice synths

general text to speech

vending machines

washing machines

half life and portal

plants

bugs

novelty tvs

spongebob

vampires and werewolves

roblox (more specifically 2010's era roblox aswell as roblox made gears and hats)

aqua stuff

(3)ds games

mii games in general

novelty stuff in general

vacation shirts

invader zim

girly dress up games ( ie rinmaru or girls go games)

cats

rabbits

hares (rabbits and hares are not the same !!)

machinery

legos

trains

viruses and parasites

crusty jpeg images

ice cream flavors

apples

optics

my beautiful mind

the planet we live on

[sable-dream]

I see a lot of 'diy gear' around so I'm surprised I've hardly ever seen bleach dyed shirts! They're honestly one of the coolest, easiest, and relatively inexpensive ways to make discreet gear - especially if you're like me and you can't exactly find shirts of your theriotype being sold.

Tutorial under the cut!! :3

What you will need:

A black t-shirt, preferably 100% cotton (avoid polyester and spandex)

Bleach

Water

Sidewalk/blackboard chalk, or a chalk pen

A paintbrush to apply the bleach

A disposable cup

A bit of cardboard or plastic to put under the shirt (to prevent the design from bleeding through onto the other side)

GLOVES and other safety gear (ie, a mask and goggles)

fabric paint, not puffy paint (optional but if you're heavy handed like I am it helps so you can fix screw ups)

SAFETY:

Work in a well ventilated area.

Wear gloves, goggles, and ideally a filtration mask when handling bleach.

WASH YOUR HANDS thoroughly after handling the bleach and do not touch your eyes or face before washing your hands

Be mindful of chemical reactions that can occur when mixing bleach with other cleaning products - never, ever, EVER mix bleach with anything containing ammonia as it can react and create toxic chlorine gas.

Keep bleach out of the reach of pets and small children, and if you have small animals like birds or rodents, work AWAY from them as the fumes can damage their lungs.

Make sure you read the back of your bleach container so you know how to handle and dispose of it safely.

Process:

Slide the cardboard into the shirt, adjusting it so you'll be drawing on the side you want your design on.

Use the chalk to draw your design on the fabric - don't worry about screwing up here, it'll wash out later. (If you want to, you can digitally draw your design, print it out, then trace the back with chalk and press it onto the shirt to transfer the art)

Put on your safety gear (ESPECIALLY your gloves) and move to a ventilated area (I did this on my back porch)

Carefully pour some bleach into your cup, then cut it with water. Remember that the more water you add, the more of the solution you'll need to apply to get your design to show up.

Apply the solution over your sketch using your paintbrush. You might need to apply it multiple times if your bleach solution is less concentrated.

Once your satisfied with your design, let it sit for 20 minutes to allow the bleach to fully stain the fabric.

After 20 minutes, rinse out the fabric under cool water. Make sure you're wearing your gloves as you do this so you don't hurt your skin.

Wash your shirt in your washing machine by itself, otherwise the bleach might transfer to other laundry. Put it in the dryer after or hang it up to air dry.

Clean up your area, wash your paintbrush out thoroughly, throw the cup away, and then remove your gloves to scrub your hands with soap and water.

Once your shirt is clean and dry, you can use fabric paint to touch up any mistakes. I used black paint to remove excess lines and white to give my design eye shines. Follow the directions for fabric paint on the back of the bottle, as the instructions for washing it can be different. Don't use puffy paint, the touch ups will end up raised and it'll look funny.

And there you have it! :D DIY gear shirt for all your alterhuman needs >:)

[posttexasstressdisorder]

So kiddo's mom asked me to make cookies for a Memorial Day shindig on Monday, anywhere between 100-200 people, barbecue/cookout setting.

Started at 10am this morning, made all three doughs back to back, and then fridged them all for at least an hour.

Started the actual baking at 12 noon. I've been doing this so long, and have my own strange little autistic routine down do the nth second, so that I can do them back-to-back baking, ie: one comes out, the next one goes in with the same motion, no opening the oven door more than once. Boom. I can do a dozen cookies on a half sheet pan.

I have a pair of half sheet pans that I keep in pristine shape. They are so un-marred that I never ever grease them. There's never a need. They get washed by hand only, never in the machine. They work beautifully for the kinds of cookies I make. I got 'em at a SAM's 20 years ago...they come 2 to a pack, you can get 'em at any good Restaurant Supply. "Baker's And Chef's" is the brand.

One of the things that any baker will tell you is that you want your cookie sheet to be COLD when you put your little cookie balls on it to put in the oven. I have a system where as soon as I get the cookies off the pan, it gets flipped over, and cold water sprayed on the back to cool it down enough to put it in the freezer for about three minutes, and still have time to have it ready for the oven on time.

SO...I made a double batch of my Gingernaps (8 1/2 dozen), a batch of chocolate chips (6 dozen), and a batch of Snickerdoodles (4 dozen). I figured that was a decent enough selection and there WILL be other desserts, so this should be enough.

Started at 10am, finally finished with the last batch at 5:30pm. I am a sore old hobbit...I'mma sit down for awhile.

[aq2003]

gitf anon from earlier again! i read through your stuff and oh my god i agree on your s3 and tenmartha takes so bad. why does it feel like everyone else is watching a different show entirely when they talk about it

anon we're shaking hands and hitting our heads together /affectionate. i'm on a completely alternate universe from these ppl and that's ok <3

i feel like some ppl forget the important bits of their best episodes together that actually develop and characterize their relationship, ie gridlock and 42. in gridlock we see ten realize what he's been doing, he's just trying to show off to this girl he barely knows to distract from his losses and is endangering her life bc of it. and at the end he ends up trusting her and telling her about gallifrey - and this is something he's never trusted with anyone before. just her. and martha realizes for certain that this isn't some romantic hero that wants to sweep her off her feet, this is someone that's furiously grieving and needs someone SO bad. and in 42 we see martha come to terms with how she can't always rely on ten and she could very well die while traveling time and space and also we see how easily ten puts his life in her hands (whether that be to kill him or to save him he always trusts her with his life. this drives me insane periodically.) they are in an evil washing machine spin cycle where ten keeps trying to sacrifice himself for people and martha keeps trying to save him at the expense of her general well being they're so crazy. i wish the show did not get (now) known racist transphobe genocide supporter gareth roberts to write their second episode i wish human nature family of blood was instead replaced by a story arc actually developing their characters further and i wish everybody saw their insanities like i did

[cerastes]

how do you, uh, utilize irene?

in a NOT carnal way.

what use does "makes idiot enemies fly" have that my specialists/supporters lack? s3 hits like a truck but there are many heavy hitters among guards so she never gets a turn. which operators does she best synergize with? in a NOT carnal way

Due to her height, 156 cm, Irene allows for various strategies, such as the top of the washing machine, the billiards table, the desk, an-- Not in a carnal way, right, I completely lost interest in this ask.

RIGHT SO, Irene's thing is that she's a pretty integral Operator that fills plenty of seams in a composition because she has a rare characteristic: Even though she has her devastating S3, she's not a specialist in just boss bursting, and can hold lanes effectively due to the very rare traits that Swordmasters have among Guards: 2 block, with decent bulk, good attack, and explosive skills. Irene in particular has her Module that grants passive flat 70 DEF ignore per normal hit (and she hits twice per normal hit, so 140 DEF ignores in two hits), meaning her damage is good outside of Skills too, due to the way DEF works in the game, and 50% of the time, she ignores 50% of enemy DEF thanks to her Talent. Irene is a consistent 2-block damage dealer with no real weakness. She's not a jack of all trades because she's actually good at all trades in which you would use her for. Not the best (except at burst and boss killing, in which she's top tier with her S3), but well above average.

Now, Ch'en, the other 6* Swordmaster, is burst-based almost exclusively. Irene has her S2 which takes less hits to charge and can hold multiple charges in order to actually be able to be used outside burst situations. If you are to compare the numbers on Ch'en S3 vs Irene S3, it would seem Ch'en wins out by a little, but in practice, Irene's S3 will likely deal more damage, because her S3 Floats enemies, and she ignores half the DEF of Floating enemies 100% of the time, and her hits have a small AOE, meaning that, unlike Ch'en who needs you to clear the trash mobs first in order to ensure all of her hits lands on the desired enemy with S3, Irene can do that all by herself, since hits on the trash mobs amassed around the boss (or tough enemy you want dead) will also hit the boss, while ignoring half defense for around half of S3's hits. This is why her damage output is so immense and consistent, unlike Ch'en's S3, which needs more micromanaging (such as using AoE damage to clear all mobs around the big enemy first in order to maximize damage).

Irene's S1 is also useful, making her one of the few 6*s that actually have three useful skills instead of a garbage whatever 1st skill and one or two actually useful skills (IE the majority of 6*s). S2's Float has a Weight limit (can only Float enemies with Weight 3 or less), meaning it won't Float heavy enemies. There's no such restriction for S1 and S3. S1 is an auto-activation uppercut that Floats an enemy and then hits them again, ignoring 50% of their DEF guaranteed (since they are Floating). It's her consistent "has to defend against bigger enemies and not just small fry" skill, a bit more niche, but still very useful and when you need it, it delivers.

Now, about Float: The thing with Float is that it's kind of like Bind: Sure, Stun is technically better, but also a lot of enemies you REALLY WANT to crowd control with Stun, are immune to it. There's almost no enemy immune to Float, and this includes bosses. Not even Gopnik is Float-immune. With S1, Irene can interrupt boss attacks (especially if you have more interrupts, like a shifter, since shifting cancels enemy attacks). Floating puts the enemy in the air, which affects some Operators' targeting behavior, but for the most part, putting the enemy in the air is the most unimportant part of Float, it's the fact that it's a consistent control effect that practically no one has resistance against that matters. In the case of handling fodder, if S2 doesn't outright kill them, it may give you a few extra seconds to set up better, especially early map, but again, that's more rare, since S2 will often just outright kill fodder or leave it so low that you don't need to worry about it (pretty useful in Calamity IS2, though, when fodder is tougher!). Supporters' Slow and Irene's Float fill different roles, basically. You have that right, though, you DO want to pair Irene with Specialists to continuously interrupt enemies (Specialists... Like Gladiia S2 or Laurentina? Coincidence? I think not).

Irene's best synergies are, as stated, Shifters and Specialists, including a very special synergy and by far her best: Dorothy S2.

Irene with S1, as soon as an enemy, even a boss, enters the tile in front of her, will Float them for 1 second. During this second, put a Dorothy S2 Bind Mine on the tile the boss is no longer on because they are now Floating, thus, considered an air enemy. The boss lands, triggers the Mine, and is now hit with Bind for 6 seconds if they are the only enemy affected by the mine. In these 6 seconds, if your Irene is, say, S1M1, Irene can land 4 hits and trigger her S1 again, letting you place another mine down there, and so on. This is a true combo and can stall a boss for as long as you have DP and mines to put there. This works best if you DON'T M3 her S1, because at that point, she needs 3 attacks to charge S1 instead of 4, meaning you have to go through mines more often, resulting in a slight increase in damage short term but far less stall time overall. You can basically demolish melee bosses with this and heavily stall and damage ranged bosses (since they keep getting interrupted for the most part, which lets you heal any damage you sustain and also safely charge your burst, such as Mlynar, Eyja, Pozy, etc).

Irene can get a lot done. Her non-S3 factors might not be as flashy, but they are no less effective.

[mediumsizedpidegon]

I feel like naruto doesn't get into the fact that naruto had literally no one give a shit about him until like. iruka-sensei? And sure, he was in an orphanage but then we learn that he's had the APARTMENT HE LIVES ALONE IN AS A TWELVE YEAR OLD CHILD THAT THE ENTIRE VILLAGE DESPISES since he was 4 or 5 i think (i will not check this. the timeline of naruto is dumb and makes me cry). and even in orphanage it isn't like the staff there were treating him right. why else would be given his own apartment by the hokage when he's four? i know they let sasuke stay in the house of his dead family and let itty bitty kakashi live alone after his father died but they are The Last Loyal Uchiha and a prodigy respectively. the rules are different compared to naruto himself, i believe.

Like, yeah– Naruto is loud and brash because he wants attention– and never has it unless he provokes others– and almost certainly neurodivergent (I think he has ADHD and depression). He doesn't know any of the theory behind being a shinobi, doesn't even know what chakra is. But Naruto has been criminally neglected, socially isolated and if not physically abused by some people in the village then certainly threatened with it often at the least. I'm more on the side that says that the ANBU can't stop everything and that by ditching them all the time Naruto actually ends up in more Very Bad situations but that aside:

I genuinely believe that Naruto would not know how to read when canon started. I think he doesn't how to use a washing machine (he washes his clothes in the Naka river because no laudromats will accept him). I think he holds his chopsticks wrong. I think he has half-picked up ANBU handsigns and how to mimic other people's voices to an eerie degree but he doesn't know a single thing about nutrition besides what can be obviously observed and tested (ie, if I don't eat something green at least once a week my body will Not Like It). I think he doesn't know ANYTHING about medical care except "if it's popped out, shove it back in the socket," or "wrap it in cloth scraps."

He's can be so quiet and stealthy that the ANBU lose sight and sound of him but he doesn't think unconditional love exists. Or at least, not for him.

I desperately want to see more of a Naruto that is brash and loud and loving and hopeful, yes, but also, once you peel back some layers, extremely eerie. Naruto is an orphan that raised himself in a village that would leave him dead in a ditch at the first opportunity: he is a child that raised himself in enemy territory. He is a child seen as a beast to the ordinary and a weapon to the higher ups. and do you know what people do to beasts and weapons that are unruly and too smart or lazy and useless? they put them down.

there is no way that Naruto is unaware of this. he's a child, but children can be perceptive and Naruto has to be to survive. And it's not like the village is being subtle. so. I want to see a Naruto that is so so aware that the ANBU are both to protect him and destroy him, that the hokage might hesitate, but no one else will. So: here is Naruto, who is a child who is a monster who doesn't want to be put down. who has to be cheerful and stupid and harmless enough to not be a threat, and strong and naive enough to not be useless.

just. just. a Naruto that has had to learn everything on his own, through trial and error, people-watching and his own common sense (naruto's sense is NOT common). And he's good at it because he has to be. He's a mimic through and through– he learns much from the ANBU and the vendors in their market stalls and the conversations that families share with each other. But the problem with being the outsider looking in is that sometimes you fail to see the context. meaning that Naruto has a SHIT TON of just. objective incorrect ideas of why certain things are the way they are. and it's not his fault– his conclusions are completely logical with what he has on hand, but the point is that he doesn't have all the information and he never does, on the outside. meaning: Naruto is a walking talking version of using the wrong equation on your math test and getting the right answer. he has to reverse engineer all this shit! and especially when it comes to jutsu, what's behind the product isn't obvious.

and now we come to the reason i actually made this post. the ridiculous, funny misconceptions i have headcanoned that naruto has, not the heartbreaking rage enducing ones.

the raw meat shame tax. so naruto eats raw meat (because no one has told him that eating raw meat = becoming ill, but he has kurama to take care of that anyway) if he's hungry enough or can't be bothered to cook it. but one time someone came across him during raw meat mealtime and reacted in horror and disgust. then naruto notices that sushi is like. super expensive despite how easy it is to catch fish and that cooked fish is cheaper as well in restaurants. SO naruto comes to the conclusion that eating raw meat must be shameful and taboo and something that can only be done alone or with close family in private BUT people like playing with the taboo so you can have sushi (which has non-raw meat elements to make it less scandalous) at restaurants AS LONG AS you pay an 'eating raw meat in public' tax. this is my most ridiculous headcanon and i love it to bits. like. i believe that out of all of the funny misconceptions naruto has, THIS is the one that is so baffling that it makes sakura just. give up. she leaves the room and walks directly into the Naka river.

what??? is?? the??? difference?? between?? girl?? and?? boy??? look. naruto knows that people can have different equipment: he lives in a bad part of town and is constantly eavesdropping on people. he doesn't just know that people have different equipment, he knows what sex is by the time he's 6. but naruto thinks that it can't be based on that because it's too stupid. like, if it were based on that, why would people cover up that part of themselves and treat it like taboo in public? it would make it really hard to tell who's a girl and who's a boy. naruto keeps coming up with shit and then disproving it over the years and is still unsure. but he nows knows he CANNOT ask people whether they're a boy or a girl because they will get mad.

which leads into clothes/hair aren't gender-specific but they ARE clan or occupation specific. Naruto does show up to class wearing dresses on multiple occasions and doesn't understand why Ino is extra mad at him those times. However the first time he sees someone with a haircut similar to sasuke's he's like 'that's not allowed! he's not part of your clan!' and it takes two hours to for sasuke to find out what the fuck dobe was talking about–

doesn't know what a library due date is. the library doesn't know who stole all the various craft/cooking books that have illustrated steps but they're never getting them back.

unintentional poison eating. naruto's cooking is.... so poisonous. he has eaten everything that looks like it could be eaten in the forest and if it doesn't make him sick then he deems him safe. there are SO many things that naruto forages that would straight up kill anybody else. naruto tries to share his food with team 7 one time because that's love and care babyyy!! and then there's ten minutes of screaming where sasuke and sakura genuinely think this was a murder attempt.

if someone leaves stuff unattended in public for more than half an hour then it's up for grabs and no longer stealing. this is how he gets most of his plants. and his bags. and his winter jacket. also his shoes. this is also how he garners even more hate from the village.

anyone above the age of seven can budget, haggle and save money. Naruto has been living on his own since he was four and he's been in charge of his own budget since then. he is merciless with money because he has to be and thinks that it is a normal thing for children to be capable of since he's doing it just fine after some trial and error. Naruto grudgingly thinks kakashi is smart for trying to foist the bill for ramen off on him every time by disappearing (good way to save money– don't be there when the bill arrives) but ALL of that goodwill evaporates when they go on a mission and kakashi spends the whole budget in the first week. also the image of naruto talking about finances with his teammates in a 'you know how it is' manner in and getting blank fucking stares back is hysterical. however sasuke is in legitimate danger of naruto dragging him through budget boot camp if naruto finds out that sasuke, the fucking clan head-in-waiting of the uchiha, is filthy rich and doesn't know anything about money.

there are three sets of teeth and if you lose an adult tooth you grow it back. this is (unintentionally) kurama's fault actually. naruto ends up with three sets of teeth: useless little baby teeth that he have fully lost by 6, child teeth (which are actually human adult teeth) that are fully lost by 12 and then "adult teeth." "Adult teeth" are nightmarish and are somewhere in between fox and human teeth. and if he loses an adult tooth naruto will grow it back sometime between a week and a month after he lost it.

team seven has never been more confused.

[emeraldbroam]

6.5 cats

So I feel like this is a tale tumblr would like and not just my various discord servers. Ie the tale of why when someone asks me how many cats live in our house I say 6 and a half

Roughly a month ago (1/8 to be exact) I exit my bedroom to discover a random fucking cat in the hallways of my house. Okay, not the first time not the last time, whatever. I trap my cats in their bedroom and open the cat door, no sign of the cat by morning so it's whatever, that's that, right?

Wrong

Also by this point I've already grown attached to my little scrunkly feral man, and nicknamed him Lucifer bc he looks like if you took my cat Lucy, made her into a stuffed animal, and then put her through the washing machine

Next night, guess who comes back through the cat door but Lucifer himself. So I decide fuck it and set out a live trap for him. However he has access to our cats food, so he just eats that instead and leaves the house

He fights with our orange cat during the next night, then no one in the family sees him for a week (but it's possible he's still coming and going)

The next confirmed Lucifer sighting is 1/28, and he allows me to come within 5 feet of him and doesn't kill me for sneaking up on him and poking his very cute butt while he's asleep (he was snoring....)

Then I once again have to leave for a week, during which time I hear no news of Lucifer bc I'm the only one regularly in and out of the cellar where he appears.

I arrive home today to learn that 1. it's very likely Lucifer hasn't left the house in the last 7 days, 2. my aunt and mom are now fully on board with trapping him, and 3. apparently there is cat shit all over the cellar.

I need to remind yall that this is a fully feral cat. 100% belongs to a feral cat colony and has never been a pet. Very likely he's in some way related to my cat Lucy who was adopted as a kitten from that same feral cat colony

Anyways there's a live trap laid and tomorrow I'm gonna go find an empty cardboard box to see if he'll use a litter box and some wet cat food to trap him and take him to the vet, cause he's my good feral boy and I'd say we own 7 cats but my mom insists thats "too many" and "over the top" so until I convince him to sit in her lap and purr, we own 6.5

[lihikainanea]

just a thought I've been contemplating lately regarding height difference but how would Bill and Tiger manage in the shower??? do they ever shower together or have they compromised on shared baths? because I KNOW Bill would hog all the water (not because he's an ass bless him but because he literally towers over tiny Tiger and the water never reaches her) and she'd complain she was cold constantly. and I also think of how Tiger would want to maybe wash Billy's hair to relax him and make him feel good maybe like after a flight or something but she didn't think this through so then when the moment comes she realises she can't even reach him 😂😂

I, not so low-key, LOVE this idea nani.

I'm uh, not tall so I don't really have an issue with showers anywhere in the world. But my experience has been most parts of North America are home to the whole shower/tub situation, where in most places its one in the same--there's a tub, you stand in it, and there's also a shower spout that's high but not like, Bill high. And in Scandinavia they're a fan of the whole wet-bathroom idea--IE, all of the bathroom is a shower and everything gets soaked. Admittedly, I was very confused at this concept upon my first voyage into Scandinavia via the Thon hotel in Lillestrøm, Norway. I put my towels on the toilet like I do in any hotel bathroom, put my change of clothes there too, and by the time I was done my shower everything was...soaked.

I was vexed.

But now I'm kind of used to it and I actually ADORE the idea of a wet bathroom because it's just so easy to clean and just makes so much sense. And of course, as in most places in Scandinavia, things are just...a little higher up. Because the population is taller.

In any case, Bill likes the whole Scandinavian shower situation because he just never seems to have a problem--his head gets under the spout. In North America, though? Oh dear. Half of him gets showered, the other half remains dry. His head towers over the shower spout and he just stands there and frowns at it.

Bill complains endlessly about the shower situation in North America.

And like, my girl tiger--tiger has no problems. Tiger is not of giant proportions. She handles it just fine in North America, and after a little getting used to the shower situation and soaking wet bathroom in Scandinavia--she has that nailed down too.

But maybe....maybe this is on one of their road trips? Oh, be still my heart. All dingy, no-name motels and small towns. It's a beat up mustang convertible in small towns across the southern US. It's no-name hotels, it's diners, it's open road and long sunsets. And maybe they've been driving all day, gummy candy piled high in tiger's lap while Bill has his RayBans on, one hand on the stick shift, all the windows open. Bruce Springsteen is blasting and tiger is singing along (horribly). She's full of dodgy corndogs from the last gas stop, Bill's fingers are still stained neon orange from Doritos, and every once in awhile she shoves a gummy bear in his mouth. They have no idea where they're gong, and it doesn't matter.

But after hours of driving they pull into some weird town and find a motel for the night. He stops off at a liquor store and tiger gets some scotch. They get some peanuts from the vending machine in the parking lot, and the parking lot is right outside their door. It's sticky hot, humid, the dead of summer and the hum of cicadas and the buzz of the bug zapper break the silence.

Maybe they've both had a rough go of it lately, maybe neither of them have. Maybe Bill's off and between shoots and tiger can work from anywhere, maybe it's cold where they last stayed, maybe it was too busy with too many lights--maybe it was everything and nothing, maybe they busted wanted to reconnect with each other, and this is the best way they know how.

Dinner is whatever they can scrounge up. Pub fare from a local dive. Whatever they can find in the hot section of the local gas stop, even if it looks like those hot dogs have been turning on that hot plate for a year. They fill their bellies and their souls, laughing at the terrible karaoke and knocking back even more terrible spirits on ice. When they get back to the motel they sit out on rickety plastic chairs, knocking back scotch that burns and easing the sting with the salt of the peanuts. They talk about everything--how they feel, who they are, who they've become, them, the us of it--and nothing at all. And when Bill finally fans the neck of his t-shirt, exhales loudly, tiger smiles.

"Bit sticky ain't it?" she asks.

Bill widens his eyes, fans himself.

"You look like a sweat hog triple-dipped in Crisco and strung up on a grease pole," she smirks.

Bill eyes her, quirks a brow.

"What?' she asks innocently, "I always say that."

Bill stares at her, takes a swig of his scotch without breaking eye contact.

"I heard our waitress say it," she finally mumbles. Bill snorts.

"C'mon," she stands, pulling on his arm, "Shower. Bed."

Bill knocks back the rest of his scotch and lets her pull him up.

"Bold of you to assume I fit into either of those things," he whispers mischievously, stealing a kiss. Tiger just smirks.

"Bold of you to assume I don't have years of experience shoving you into all kinds of places you don't fit, big bird."

She pulls him down into a heated kiss and he tastes of cheap whisky and smoke. He moans into it but before he can grab hold of her for more she breaks free, tugs him into the dingy room. He steals as many kisses as he can while she gets him out of his pants, tugs his t-shirt over his head. She starts the shower, testing the water as he pulls impatiently at her clothes, and then she ducks under the stream of water and pulls him in with her.

It's laughable, really. He has to duck under the shower rod and his head nearly hits the ceiling, the shower nozzle only hitting halfway down his chest. She stifles a giggle and he glares playfully.

"This is fun," he deadpans.

"Come on bud," she giggles, "Come down here, I'll wash your hair."

He tries crouching but the space really is just too small and he really is just too big, so after a bit of shifting he finally just ends upon his knees in the tub while tiger grabs the shampoo.

But y'know...on his knees, he's really at the perfect height. And her hands are in his hair anyway, and he's feeling a might bit mischievous, so maybe he just places a suckling kiss on her lower belly...and then another one...and then before she can yank him back, he dives forward and swipes his tongue through her folds.

"Bill," she tries to admonish, but it comes out as more of a pleasured sigh. She runs her hands through his hair, lathering it up, and while she's rather defenseless--he does it again.

"Stop," she says meekly, but her legs are going to jello and her hands are kind of tugging him forward, grasping at his hair. So he grabs one of her legs, loops it onto his shoulder.

"Hold on tight kid," he purrs.

"Billy no," she whimpers.

"Hush," he tuts her, "Just trying to make us both fit in here. This is the only way."

[locke-writes]

2k Writing Challenge

Sign Ups Open: March 24th, 2023

Sign Ups Close: April 25th, 2023

Writings Due: July 15th, 2023 (can be posted before the due date)

Rules:

Send an ask letting me know that you’re joining

Let me know the character that you are writing for. Must be a character I am familiar with so feel free to ask ahead of time if you are unsure you will be able to write for characters I know

Choose between 1-3 prompts from the below indicating whether they are dialogue or song prompts. You may mix and match between the two (ie. 1 song prompt + 1 dialogue prompt). I’ll then put your url next to the prompt/s you’ve chosen so you can reference this post.

There is no minimum or maximum word count

AUs are more than welcome, just let me know if you’re planning an AU

Make sure to include trigger warnings in your post if they’re needed

Tag Me and DM me a link if I don’t like the post within 24 hours of it being up. Sometimes tumblr is fickle and doesn’t like to notify me of being tagged

You may sign up to write more than one thing however you can’t use the same prompts (ie. if you sign up to write X character with song prompt 3, you can’t use that prompt if you want to write Y character)

Additional questions can be sent through the inbox. Prompts are below

Song Prompts:

Boris - Lo-Fang

People Watching - Conan Gray

If I Get High - Nothing But Thieves

Fair - The Amazing Devil

Saint Bernard - Lincoln

And She Was - Talking Heads

Bulletproof - La Roux

Pierre - Ryn Weaver

Washing Machine Heart - Mitski

brutal - Olivia Rodrigo

Fast Car - Tracy Chapman

Jessie’s Girl - Rick Springfield

Happier Than Ever - Billie Eilish ( @nekoannie-chan / Steve Rogers )

Vienna - Billy Joel

Come Along - Cosmo Sheldrake

Kiss Me - Sixpence None the Richer

Seventeen - MARINA

Sofia - Clairo

Your Stupid Face - Kaden MacKay

Toxic - Britney Spears

All These Things That I’ve Done - The Killers

Movement - Hozier

Motion Sickness - Phoebe Bridgers

End of Beginning - Djo

Liability - Lorde

Little Lion Man - Mumford & Sons

bad idea! - girl in red

The Adults Are Talking - The Strokes

Just Like Heaven - The Cure

9 Crimes - Damien Rice

Dialogue Prompts

“I couldn’t stop loving you, even if I tried. And I did try for some time. But it didn’t work.

“We all have secrets, don’t we”

“After all you’ve done, how can I trust you?”

“I trust you. I just don’t trust them.” ( @nekoannie-chan / Steve Rogers)

“You’re the only person I would do this for”

“I know this isn’t what you want to hear”

“What are you doing with that knife?”

“I think you need a hug”

“I smell something burning. Are you sure you don’t need help?”

“Don’t worry, you’re safe with me”

“Didn’t I tell you to bring a jacket?”

“No! You are not getting me sick!”

“Can I kiss you?”

“Excuse me, that joke was terrible”

“Let me get the first aid kit again”

“You aren’t dying, you just stubbed your toe”

“Who made you cry and where can I find them?”

“Go to bed, you need sleep.”

“It’s not breaking and entering if I have a key”

“Can’t believe I let you drag me into this” ( @kjs-s / Foggy Nelson)

“If the sun isn’t up, then I am not up”

“Trust me it looks worse than it is”

“Act like we’re dating, I see my ex” ( @kjs-s / Foggy Nelson)

“It’s always going to be you”

“Please don’t set off the fire alarm again”

“Are you sure this is a good idea?”

“No way, you’re taking a break and that’s final”

“You take care of everyone but who takes care of you”

“We promised not to tell that story to anyone”

“Stay there, I’m on my way”

[myshredda]

Remember how Red was turned into Mr. Peterson of Peterson's and SONS and Friends Bits and Parts Limited? Where's the sons? Show me the sons! Dad Red confirmed?

The jobs episode is SUCH an interesting episode, not only because it was the first look back at the trio that we'd gotten since the cancelation of the original show (rip Wakey Wakey), but also because it was establishing the ideological themes for the channel 4 series!

Jobs has hands down my favorite message of all the new episodes, and I would say it's the one that most clearly projects that 'this is the twisted version of a children's educational puppet show' vibe that Becky and Joe are going for. Where shows like Sesame Street or Under the Umbrella Tree would paint these wonderful pictures of a life filled with endless possibility and the chance to get the job of your dreams, DHMIS tackles this topic in the more realistic way.

Being pigeonholed into a low-paying factory job with high-risk of personal injury, repetitive work, lack of personal fulfillment, and the eventual realization that you wasted the best years of your life at a company that would fire you the instant you've become an inconvenience to their bottom line (say: being old, or getting injured, or y'know, both) is the more likely outcome for children that watch these puppet shows, especially considering Sesame Street was created to connect with low income, inner city children. The system is rigged against kids like this from the moment they're born, and it's implemented and carried out generation over generation by those who either stumbled into wealth through unethical means or inherited it from relatives that built it through the exploitation of the working class.

So, where does Red morphing into Mr. Peterson fit into my mini-essay on the harsh realties of capitalism? I'm very happy you asked!!!

Red's character arc in the Jobs episode (or episode arc, whichever you prefer) is a representation of the people in life that are allowed to fail upward. Red doesn't have any specific skills that set him apart from Duck or Yellow that would constitute him being the best person to be 'the boss' (unless you count him looking like a Smart Boy in his outfit) Red quiet literally wanders into the head office and is given a job he's unqualified for, no questions asked. He's surrounded by yes-men in the form of the Fax Machine and the Bin who both idealize him due to his high position in the company and want to get close to him to ensure their standing potentially being uplifted by proximity to Red (ie: the Fax Machine's constant flirting)

Red himself is incredibly incredibly useless in his position (literally the only thing he does is tell people he doesn't work at the company over the phone, pee without washing his hands, and make empty speeches when needed) but he's able to keep that position for FORTY YEARS simply because he was in the right place at the right time. I believe the way he eventually adopts the moniker of "Mr. Peterson" is an example of how these big companies pretend to be 'family owned and operated' in an attempt to seem more relatable (such as Walmart and Disney, which are two megacorporation that operate under the family name of their founder) but in reality they're run by whichever CEO managed to fall into the position. There is no 'Mr. Peterson' or his 'Sons' or their 'Friends'. There's only a boss that managed to trip into a high-paying position and now parades around wearing the company name on his lanyard, factory employees that are overworked and exploited, staff members that leech off the higherups, or workers that attempt to break free from this mold and are punished by society for attempting to find a better life.

(Also my joke answer is Yellow is his son and Red is a DILF because of this.)

[fff777]

just a reaction post on jaemin being a PE teacher

jaemin: lmao i am not qualified for this

i did hear that jaemin's mom was a teacher

contrary to what he said, i feel like haechan could be a good teacher because he would keep the students engaged, but that would depend on whether he was serious about staying on topic lol. if he was intent on goofing off then ah, maybe not ^^;;

jeno a math nerd eh

lmao mark arguing with the teacher about english

he's so amused

i've never seen a chalkboard eraser cleaning machine. i think we just washed them manually lol. definitely did in elementary school.

principal getting nervous on camera ^^;;

jaemin asking the important questions about a PE teacher's uniform

the other teacher working at his desk who's also listening in on the convo lol

teacher: please study these textbooks intensively jaemin: ...yes...of course...

teacher wonpyo wrapped the badminton grip :P

lol teachers wearing their whistles in their pockets because it's cool. definitely saw my fair share of folks in university having the lanyards of their keys sticking out of their pockets.

teacher teaching jaemin how to turn a mistake into an opportunity XD i remember i had a substitute teacher who told us how whenever they got a question they didn't know the answer to, they'd flip it back to the students as a discussion question lol. teacher tricks.

also always finish a little early because you'll be popular with the students

...is jaemin referring to all the students with -ie at the end? am i missing a korean grammar thing or is he cute-ifying all of their names lmao.

ok i see what the program means. their idea was that students would focus more if their favourite celebrities were their teachers. i was skeptical because i think i would just be kind of dazed seeing my favourite celeb up close. but i think the idea is that they try harder when they like their teacher XD like i would definitely want to impress my teacher if i liked them lol.

he thinks the kids are cute XD

explanation of badminton and its history. i actually didn't know it came from india. despite having played badminton throughout middle school and high school.

i do remember hearing somewhere that jaemin did play badminton so i think he does have the above average knowledge on badminton to teach it a bit

jaemin missing the basket after two students got it on first try ^^;;

that girl who's really good has probably trained in badminton before hehe

i feel like lunch with teachers could be really juicy for gossip lol

excellent for gas emission

i can see why kids don't have name tags now, especially with social media. you could film a video with students and now everyone knows those students' names. some of the students in the class were wearing face masks too. i don't know if it's because they knew they were going to be on TV.

PE teacher just doesn't remember the kids' name ToT

LOL relatable

lol this PE teacher is fun

now one-on-one counselling time with students

so fucking excited to hear the tea on high school romance

now i'm wondering if this situation is real or if they just made it up for the show ^^;;

yeah he does seem that way, he seems like the guy to turn everything into an opportunity

mister romantic

oh this was filmed on white day, a few weeks ago then

he is sooooo into this XD

aw, i feel for the second student, the vp of the student council...i had a bad relationship with my older brother too for a very long time.

the plot twists with this student just keep coming

meirl after making a phone call

third student wants to ask about career concerns

jaemin creating a scenario for the student to act in lmao

jaemin: we are best friends now

[monkeygirl727]

So. No one really cares about reality TV but I've started watching Below Deck and I have opinions and I need to rant. Season 1 of below deck sailing yacht is a shit show by which I mean the head stewardess is an ass and like one of those people who knows their shit and they're going to let you know what you're doing wrong every step but like if they break the rules it's fine. The chef also kind of a dick also sleeping with the head stewardess cuz you know that will never cause drama. The first mate take him or leave him he's cute he's nice enough but the one that I care about the most is the guy named Parker. The entire first half of the season they are ripping into this guy, they're like oh he doesn't know a lot cuz he's new, oh he's still attached to his mom's breast (bro! Tf!!?) oh he's not good at following direction, he doesn't follow the hierarchy and like one of them jokes later on AFTER he resigns because he's like I can't deal with this shit anymore, is like the first rule of yawning is shut the fuck up and then they keep making jokes about him and two of the stewardesses are like visibly uncomfortable cuz they were his friends and like I don't know I see a lot of myself in that. This like trying to fit in in an industry that refuses to accommodate people who are a little different. He's like oh how about we do this and they're like shut up and do as you're told. And like the head stewardess I cannot reiterate enough how much of an absolute bitch this woman is and like I don't like to say that about people but she's constantly like I'm the one in charge so you have to listen and I guess that's a thing in boating. And like she has the audacity to use the master suite with the chef and they're like oh it's fine because we're in charge. The chef literally says hey if she says we can do it we can and it's like if anybody else were to do that they would be fired immediately. That shit infuriates me. Like on the one hand I understand experience and history comes with benefits but like?? Using a guest suite when you are a staff member??

The other person who I have a soft spot for is Madison who is the second stewardess. Because she gets shit from Jenna who is the head stewardess and then when Georgia the third stewardess comes on she doesn't know a ton so she's having to pick up her Slack and then they're like Madison why aren't you doing well and she's like I don't fucking know because I'm trying to do five jobs and yet Jenna doesn't know where the goddamn washing machine is but has the audacity to yell at me about laundry.

Jenna also has the audacity to be like oh Madison had a crush on Parker and like it's distracting her and she's not going to bed in a sufficient amount of time cuz she's staying up to talk to Parker meanwhile she's making out with the chef in the galley on shift and again using the master suite. Like?! I understand that being in a lead position comes with benefits but like don't fucking tell me what to do if you're going to go ahead and break the rules. And like Madison is well aware of like why Jenna does things and she's like oh so you're going to finally train Georgia for the good of everybody else and not because I called you out in front of the other crew for using the master suite and your boyfriend had something to say about it?

I love Georgia because she doesn't really cause any problems she's adorable she's a bit inappropriate and flirty but like honestly she's just trying to figure out how to keep everybody at peace and I support that. Cierra and Paget are dating and they argue a bunch because they're not good at being in the same work roles ie both working as deck hands and like having done the research in Googled afterwards they are not together anymore but like honestly she doesn't really bother me either other than the fact that she was a jerk to Parker. Everybody except for Madison and Georgia were jerks to Parker and for that they are on my shit list.

Glen, the captain. I would die for that man he radiates Grandpa/dad energy, he is like the boat dad and he's great. He is very much unlike Captain Sandy who is on below deck Mediterranean in that he's like you don't have to call me Captain just call me Glenn and like always willing to lend a hand anywhere on the boat if he's not doing Captain things like he helps load provisions he helps move things he's just the kind of person that I want more of. I can't agree with the entire boating industry opinion of "respect the hierarchy or shut the fuck up and get out of the industry". This is all to say that I can't wait for season one to be over so I can move on. I won't even get into the guests because they range from a group of adult men who basically act like Frat Boys the entire time and like one of them picks up Madison and uses her as like a weight lift much to her extreme dismay and she's like please put me down several times and then they're like oh don't tell anyone and then when she's out of your shot they're like what she going to do report us to the Greek police? Essentially the entirety of this show is rich people rented a boat for a few days and some of them are wild and crazy and others are like you but with money and the crew are trying to not kill each other because you know essentially living with six people that you never met until the beginning of this season constantly causes Growing Pains.

[stumblngrumbl]

If you had been around to explain electrical current to me in high school I might have taken more interest in it! My teacher just read out of this dirty yellow book in monotone but you made it understandable.

thanks! me too tbh i supposedly learned electronics at university but i got fuckall about it other than P=IE=I²R = V²/R because those were actually useful in my experience, everything else was *but why* i've never been a learner of things unless i had a good *why*

while i was able to do the work in school by brute-force memorizing the equations, i didn't *get* it and as you said it takes a good teacher to help the actual knowledge sink in

i'm embarrassed to say that it was only recently that i got a proper understanding of integration by parts when someone sent in their homework problem as an ask and it had that on it and i'm like ok time to learn for real this since i obviously didn't learn it last century when i fucking passed the class how did i pass that class i took it i didn't go to class i passed just how no wonder i stopped doing physics but i digress

i've been very tempted to revisit my physics of electricity and actually learn the stuff for real as right now i can read a circuit diagram but i have very little idea of what is really going on unless it's a really simple diagram (like house wiring, that's really easy like plumbing, electricity comes in here and my get interrupted there but generally flows to the outlets wherever they are, it's basically a lawn sprinkler setup - show me the circuit diagram for the washing machine and i'm like idk what's going on here)

unfortunately i don't have an analogy for a capacitor but a transistor is basically a diaphragm valve