#if I'm gonna project I'm gonna use text based sources to at least say that it could be in chatacter

[bunnyhysteria]

a few people are bringing up depression in response to my shen yuan post, and while do what you want yes, I feel this does go back to how people don't know how to write disabled characters as another person brought into light. including mental disabilities.

mayb now I'm projectin on this one, but seein the absolute cluster fuck of shen yuan, it feels strange to go "it's depression!". I see narcissistic personality disorder, other cluster b traits, I see autism, mayb even ocd. he's a paranoid, hot head mess whose constantly calculating every moment. but people don't really know how to contextualize mental illness, especially not the "scary" ones, even if they have mental illness themselves. just slap on depression and anxiety as a bandaid and don't talk about the rest! it's not that people don't want to go further (or at least I have some faith), I just think our current society has not prepared people to step out of the "nice" mental disorders.

so I don't fault anyone who reduces his nonsense into the socially acceptable depression, but I can't act like that it doesn't make me uncomfortable. but also not uncomfortable enough to directly respond to strangers on the interwebs HSKDHDH.

but I also did want to talk about the depression to slob pipeline as well because that's I suppose the part that gets me. he's unwell, so he's a slob and a disgustin mess. a statement that could be made about someone who has depression, but I have a hard time applying the "he" to shen yuan in this case. I'm personally under the "I care so much about my image that I feel like I'm gonna rot from the inside out" type, and my response has been to hyper clean. clean and clean until I can't clean anymore and so I'm stressed that I can't make my space (and by extension myself) better in a small matter of time. I was once a slob in the past as a teen, but I'm immensely embarassed by it. I'm vain, so I take photos of myself with my backdrop being my room, and I will loose my marbles if someone looks down on me because I threw my pjamas onto my bed while gettin changed. no one but me and my family enter my room. no one else even enters the house.

*picks up shen yuan by the scruff of the neck* yer telling me this rich pretty boy obsessed with tryin to get people to take him seriously wouldn't have an instagram or whatever the equivalent would be?? honestly I feel like it would be expected of him, and he might also flaunt his wealth (that he didn't earn) to try to feel better. if you couldn't tell I'm tryin to shove a superiority/inferiority complex onto him over his status. that's just cause I think it'd be funny I don't have any text evidence off the top of my head for that lmao.

ultimately with all this, I just want something different. I want people to step back and look at shen yuan for who he is and then extrapolate out from that and into how they want to play with his character. I don't know how, with all these complex thought processes and characterizations of binghe, we have landed with a very 2d, copy paste version of shen yuan every time. maybe I just need to dig more into shen yuan fan creations, but I have yet found one to step out of the invented fanon version mold or their small variations. and its quite strange to me given how divorced fanon shen yuan is from canon shen yuan. I suppose I'm not used to a fandom with a character so warped away from canon well accepted. dare I say, ooc.

[sumerun]

hi there!! your ayato gfx was absolutely stunning i stared at it for a good minute just processing everything!! i've always been interesting in dabbling in gfx but i'm tech noob at best, an idiot at worst. do you have any advice for someone looking to start out? like resources, software etc. thank you sm and have a wonderful day/night

hello, sweet anon! first of all, thank you so much for your kind words! :)

note: text-heavy!

PEP TALK?

before we proceed, i just want to preface that getting into gfx design can be extremely frustrating. it is a part of the arts and as anything relating to the arts, it takes time and a LOT of practice. you, yourself is the biggest critic of your own work and you're also learning 21612198 tools. you will want to tear your hair out. you might have to learn theories and concepts that traditional artists learn in class to improve your own work. that being said, it is also very rewarding and fun, hehe

so what i always say to someone who wants to get into gfx design is, to just have fun. make the things you want and don't stop making them. the more you make, the more you improve. you can always learn the essentials of gfx design ofc!! but it's kinda boring so use whatever fandom as the subject to make it more fun

SOFTWARE

so the most well-known program that it's used in gfx is adobe photoshop and illustrator (there's more but those are the main two). it is not free and you gotta pay a subscription. if you can't afford it, you can always pirate it. BUUUUT, there's nice, free alternatives out there such as: GIMP (app), Photopea (browser based). it doesn't have everything photoshop does, but it's a nice way to dip your toes in!

RESOURCES

- your best resource is literally youtube and google haha! there are so many good videos you can search up and you can follow along. this is risky imo bc you can spend more time watching than doing, which defeats my points above.

- behance is a platform by adobe where you can find some resources, tutorials, and portfolios of other artists. it is a HUGE source of inspiration for me. i go on that website like at least once a week lMAO.

- pinterest is also a website i peruse often for inspirations! but at the same time, i'm torn bc there's a lot of stolen work here. so just keep that in mind

- the iconic gif tutorial by anue and this gaming gif tutorial by senka (yyh) is a GREAT way to start gfx design tbh. you'll learn to mess around with various tools when you make gifs!

GENERAL + IMPROVEMENT TIPS

i really wish i can just tell you the topics and tools you should learn but there's so much that it can get overwhelming. so take it at your own speed:

- like i mention above, learn the fundamentals. this is gonna be boring but use your favorite subject to make it fun!

- ok hear me out but as a beginner: copy and emulate. there's a reason why artists do master studies. you learn how the old and new masters paint, analyze their techniques and apply them to your own. it's pretty much the same in gfx design. emulate your favorite designs, learn why they use the colors they do and why they placed a certain font there. try to remake your favorite posters that you've seen and ask yourself why did they do that?

but ofc this is strictly for studying! this does not mean should plagiarize and post the same poster, but ayato version or something LOL. the line between plagiarism and inspiration/homage can be blurry but you need to make sure you are using this chance to learn and develop your own style! :)

- write down your ideas! sketch them out! whatever is in your brain might come out completely different on paper. and that's natural! it just help to visualize things

- PEN TOOL IS YOUR BEST FRIEND. i use this shit for EVERY single project so know it like the back of your hand.

- keep your past works and use it for self-critiques or just to look back and see how far you've come

CONCLUSION

remember, it will suck for a little bit while you learn all the tools in your software. you might not be able to materialize your ideas bc you don't know how to do something. it's ok!! you will get there once you're more experienced. just keep making gfx and ask for critiques. you will learn a ton! or sometimes, just walk away and let your brain rest. sometimes, we make a better product when you let it sit for a bit.

you got this, anon :) shoot me an ask/DM if you need anything else!