#if anyone needs a tl;dr lmk

[cryptidapprentice]

they should make a sweatband that absorbs the sweat without actively making me sweat more

[torialefay]

🗝️ Sun in Scorpio ♠️

minho as your boyfriend!!! (pt. 1)

(based on astrology) 🔞

✨minho x reader (f); possessive fluff, slightly suggestive at the end

✨take a look into lee know’s natal chart to see what type of boyfriend he would be! in this post, i will be talking about his sun in scorpio. this is a series!!! so follow up later if u want more <3

✨i will give a brief synopsis of what each chart placement means (for all my non-astrology friends out there <3) and how that would affect minho in a relationship :)

✨word count: ~2k

✨ author’s notes:

★★ (1) i do do brief astrological compatibility readings if anyone wants one! if you’re interested, message me your birth date, time, and location OR lmk your placements. i’m gonna limit the reading to include you x 1 skz member only! just specify who you’d like.

(2) i am wanting to get better at using neutral-gendered pronouns so more people can feel included in my posts. i’m really struggling since i use phrases like “my girl” a lot. anyone who has some good alternatives or tips, please message and lmk! i really want to be able to start cranking out more gn options!

(3) the aspects in this reading are based solely on my opinions and interpretations! nothing about a person is set in stone simply because of astrology. please don’t use anything i say as canon :)

(4) i will not be going into ascendant or house placements because lee know’s birth time has not been confirmed for AM or PM

✨warnings: some explicit language

✨ tl/dr: minho as your boyfriend will spoil the shit out of you and charm you until you can’t help but live and breathe him. he’s got to keep a grasp on you at all times- literally AND figuratively.

Sun in Scorpio: Sun signs are all about personality- the face you show the world! It is also the lens through which you usually see yourself and how friends would describe you.

• Scorpio has two planetary rulers- Mars and Pluto. Mars is the ruler of action and aggression, while Pluto is the ruler of transformation and rebirth. Scorpio is an amazing mixture of the two, as it embodies strong desires, innate control, and deep mental and supraphysical understanding.

• Scorpios encapsulate passion. They tend to have a deep understanding of others and can utilize this power to their advantage. They are able to influence others to do as they wish. Scorpios have a deep understanding of beauty and admire things that could be seen as dark, different, or strange to others.

• Scorpios have a tendency to become obsessive, controlling even, if not careful. They get fully engrossed into who other people are and want others to fully engross themselves in them as well.

• Scorpios are known for their creative and expressive nature- something that comes naturally to them. Because of this, they can really shine in areas such as art or drama, historian or detective, intuitive research or psychology, and are amazing for dabbling in the occult.

As your boyfriend:

• He is super protective over you. He’s always watching behind you as you do something to make sure you’re okay and no one is bothering you… And to be honest, I don’t think many people WOULD bother you, knowing you were the person with a psycho boyfriend (in a good way <3).

• He would bring you lunch any chance he got. If you were at work/school and he knew you hadn’t brought lunch or hadn’t had lunch that day, he’d definitely bring you something- whether he picked it up or made it himself. It also gives him an excuse to see you and check on you during the day.

• He knows when you are having a bad day. And he knows exactly how you need him to act in order to help you deal with it. When he senses something is wrong, he will pull you onto his lap in a hug and tell you to talk to him about it.

• Other people think he’s cold, but he’s definitely not with you. He loves you and nurtures you. He takes pride in knowing every part of you. He loves that there is a side of him that is specifically for you and not for the rest of the world. He’d like it if you were the same.

• He loves when the both of you have a chance to get dressed up. To look good for one another and just enjoy the other’s company.

• He loves nice dates, ones where he can make a grand gesture to make you feel loved and special.

• That’s why it was no surprise when he’d texted you earlier to dress up pretty for him and he’d be at your apartment to pick you up at 8.

• This was a monthly occurrence. Him surprising you with a nice date- and when I say nice, I mean NICE.

• Yes, you went on smaller dates a lot too, but he made it a priority to spoil you with something bigger at least once a month.

• So here you were, all dressed up in your favorite dark blue satin dress. It looked absolutely enchanting with it’s spaghetti strap and cowl neck top with a deep slit running up the side.

• You made sure to do your hair his favorite way- loose curls all brought to one side.

• You gave yourself one final look in the mirror, swiping on a glossy coat over your lip stain before heading out the door. Minho was already waiting on you downstairs.

• When he saw you like this, he always smirked.

• ‘Looking so beautiful all for me,’ he thought.

• Once you got to him, he just smiled at you, taking your hand in his.

• “Now, are you going to tell me where we’re off to?” you asked.

• “Shhh, you’ll see,” he kissed your hand, leading you out to the car.

• He always made sure to open the car door for you and make sure you were buckled before you took off.

• And of course he always had to rest one hand in his favorite spot- gripping onto one of your thighs. It was harder when you had a dress on, but he’d never let that stop him. He needed to always have a hold on you.

• Arriving at your destination, it was a quaint building you didn’t recognize. You’d never been here before, but it seemed to be a small restaurant with only a few (very nice) cars in the parking lot.

• The valet rushed to the car to speak with Minho and grab the keys.

• You smiled up at your boyfriend as he walked around to your side of the car, opening the door for you and taking your hand in his to help you stand.

• As you made your way toward the restaurant, he made sure to hold tightly to the one hand, while the other stabilized on your hip, making sure you were safe while ascending the few steps in front of you.

• “Hello, can I get your name please?” the host of the restaurant asked as you stepped inside. It was a beautiful restaurant- dark and sensual. There was very minimal lighting, but what they did have gave a beautiful warm glow. The sleek bar to the right shined bright from the sparkly crystal bottles aligning each of the shelves- luxury liquor only.

• “Lee,” he said, matter of factly, only taking a brief moment to look at the host. Tonight, his eyes were only on you.

• The host presented a big smile before stepping to the side and motioning for you to follow him. “Great, Mr. Lee. Right this way.”

• Minho let you walk just slightly in front of him, always watching your back to make sure he had a full view of you. One hand continued to rest on your hip. It was like it was glued there. He never wanted to lose contact with you.

• The host led you down one of the dimly-lit aisles and to the back of the building. Off to itself, he rounded a corner to lead to a beautiful, private, screened-in room in the back. It sat adjacent to a huge lake, which could be seen through the mesh netting of the “walls” that enclosed you. With the moon shining bright over the water and the stars on full display, it was a captivating view.

• Minho pulled your seat out for you to sit before pushing you in towards the table. You allowed yourself this moment to look around the beautiful secluded room. It was still dark like the interior of the building, with the nice, warm lighting. But there was an even more bewitching feeling to it through the beautiful scenery and soft music that was emanating from afar. It was absolutely breathtaking.

• If there was anything Minho knew how to do, it was how to wine and dine you. He made sure to start the evening with ordering a full bottle of your favorite reserve red wine. He loved the way you looked and smiled at him after a glass or two- how lovey dovey you got for him and how you began to try and charm him, getting all giggly, before the night was over with.

• He encouraged you to get whatever you wanted off the menu- even if it was the most expensive thing by far, he wanted you to have it. He was never going to let you pay anyways.

• Once you decided what you wanted, he always wanted you to tell him so that he could order for you. It wasn’t that he thought you were incapable of ordering for yourself, but he wanted you to know that you would always be taken care of when he was there. He didn’t want you to have to take your attention off of him for one second.

• Your heart always swelled as you watched him order- for some odd reason. And he never ordered just what the two of you wanted. No way. He made sure to always order at least 3 or so dishes so that you could share with each other and sample everything. He would make sure to have something on the table that his baby loved.

• Even if you were absolutely stuffed, if he noticed there was still wine in your glass, he would always order a dessert for the two of you to share. And although he wouldn’t admit it, this was also a way to extend his time out with you.

• He’d make sure to do all the gross romantic stuff with you, like feeding you a bite of the crème brulèe straight from his spoon. He definitely didn’t want to overdo it though and would NOT do it unless you two were in private.

• At the end of the evening, after your head felt light and bubbly from the wine and your stomach was full, he made sure to tip the waiter very generously. You loved that about him. That’s why the restaurant owners and workers always loved to see the two of you back.

• Taking the last sip of your whine, you leaned in with a smile, half-whispering “thank you for dinner, jagi.”

• “Thank you for being here with me, love,” he said back. Slowly, he stood from his chair, so naturally you waited in yours as he always requested, so that he could again pull your chair out before you stood.

• He made his way over as usual, standing behind you, but this time he didn’t put his hands on the chair.

• Instead, he placed one hand on the nape of your neck, bending down to plant a soft kiss to your shoulder and then to the side of you neck.

• You let out a giggle as you started to blush. “Stop itttt, you know we can’t do that here.”

• “I know, but I had to at least get a little bit out,” he smiled smugly.

• Suddenly, you saw his hands both in front of you and a cold sensation on your chest. You looked down to see a beautiful silver pendant resting just between your collar bones.

• “What’s this?” you asked, as you felt his hands secure the latch at the back of your neck.

• He walked to your side so that he could see your face and bent down, resting one knee on the ground.

• “Why don’t you look at it and tell me?”

• You picked the small-ish pendant up to examine it. On the front, in dainty cursive font read “LMH”. Lee Min Ho.

• The back had a single, small diamond implanted in it. Around it’s edges, it had a Latin phrase inscription. You read it aloud. “Aut viam inveniam aut faciam?” You tried to make the words out, looking to your boyfriend for confirmation.

• “That’s right jagi. ‘I will either find a way or make one’. For you.” He smiled up at you, as your looked at him with eyes of endearment. The love you had for this man was unbearable. You could hardly stand the emotions that he made you feel.

• He gently reached out for your hand, planting a gentle kiss to it, before standing up and motioning for you to do the same.

• Once you were upright on your feet, he leaned in next to your ear. “It looks beautiful on you, by the way,” he whispered seductively.

• You smirked, the boldness of the wine starting to manifest out of you. “I’ll keep it on for you later. Everything else is coming off,” you winked.

• His eyes grew large for a split second before turning himself so that he body was right up against yours. He swiftly let his hands wonder to your waist, then hips, then grab lightly at your ass.

• “That sounds perfect,” he planted a small, sweet kiss to your lips. “But that necklace is never coming off of you. Promise me. Promise me you’ll wear it at all times, and I’ll always be with you.” He looked at you, his face full of sincerity and genuine lust.

• “Anything for you,” you gave in to him before leaning in for another slow kiss.

• You knew that’s exactly what he wanted. For you to give yourself fully to him. You’d play around with him later, but for now, you would give yourself up. He knew you were his.

———————————————————————————————————

✨ author’s note: lowkey thinking this man put a tracker in the necklace lol. he just wants to know you’re safe and also wants to be able to know where you are at all times. but it’s up to you what you want to think 🤷‍♀️

✨ if you enjoyed, please consider liking, commenting, or re-blogging <3

[bacchanaliae]

BABY, YOU MAKE ARMAGEDDON LOOK SO EASY ⸻ introducing yoon eunseok, d7.

wait till you hear about this next nominee: YOON EUNSEOK, born on the 8th of SEPTEMBER, 1993 and bears a striking resemblance to SONG KANG. they’re a FOURTH year BACHELOR OF BUSINESS ADMINISTRATION student and ACED EVERY COURSE WITHOUT AN ATTENDANCE COMPONENT — impressed yet? rumor has it they’re hoping to be the COO OF THE YOON GROUP, but personally, i think they should aim a little higher — something like the king’s club, for one. now, that suits them a little more, don’t you think? guess we’ll just have to see if they’ve got the talent for it in our upcoming recruitment round.

hello!! i'm shrimps, (25, she/they) like the fried rice, and i'm very excited to terrorize your lovely muses with my lil guy eunseokkie! i'm hoping to get around to my dms soon-ish (i'm kissing your foreheads, btw), but feel free to leave a like and i'll appear in your walls! if you'd rather plot on disco, just lmk.

BACKGROUND

pretentious nonsense full bio

tl;dr : guy who's a supporting character in his own story suffers a minor existential crisis in deciding between (a) wanting to do his own thing and (b) fulfilling the role he was quite literally created to play. unfortunately, he's made this everyone else's problem.

this is subject to change if needed to fit with e2, but i imagined the yoon family to run a silicon mining business that skyrocketed in no small part due to eunseok's father marrying into a family that manufactures semiconductors.

eunseok's father . . . now there's a real schemer. everything he did was designed to gain control of the family company, and eunseok was no exception. eunseok has grown up acutely aware of this, and is completely normal and unaffected as a result.

eunseok wasn't always a menace!! eunseok always had a predilection for mischief, but genuinely tried to be the perfect heir as a child — though he soon realized that nothing he did really mattered. if he did everything he was supposed to do, fine. that was the minimum expectation. if he acted out, the consequences would just be swept away like the trouble never happened. yoon eunseok had a very particular role to fulfill, you see, and something like proper parenting wasn't going to get in the way of eunseok's father's plan to take over the family company.

and so a monster was born.

2013 (+ 2016) : invited to the club to terrorize the other initiates. wish i was joking about this one. driven to succeed because (a) he plays to win and this is the sort of environment he thrives in, unfortunately, and (b) as a fuck you to the other initiates in his class. interestingly, the actual benefits of being in the king's club are at most a tertiary motivation to eunseok — i guess one of the weaknesses of never concocting your own schemes is that you aren't great at long-term planning. throws notorious parties. kinda notorious, period — there are rumors that he'll hook up with anyone tall and beautiful, regardless of gender (this is true); that he races mclarens on the weekends (this is false); and that he bribed (true), slept with (false), and physically threatened (technically false) his way to the top end of the class. endlessly ambitious and seemingly insatiable, you might be wondering: what's the point, if eunseok's whole deal is that he'll trot obediently back to daddy's side when the man calls?

well, i'm not saying that it's the painful crash at the end. but i'm not not saying that, either. i don't think eunseok really knows, himself.

2024 : the pawn is put in play; the dog is leashed. placed as an evp somewhere, then named coo upon his father's ascension to ceo/chairman/whatever. appears to have chilled out dramatically, but time will tell whether this is maturity, resignation, or mere suppression. :)))))))

PERSONALITY

entj. waffles between chaotic neutral and chaotic evil.

character inspo/parallels include roman roy, sylvain gautier, dorian gray, the cuntier end of taemin's solo discography (stream eternal out aug 19!!!!), the weeknd's trilogy album, nero, and lestat de lioncourt. also my uni roommate's various finance-bro exes. lmao.

all of this to say: think of the most annoying guy you know. think of a shark in the water. think of a poorly-trained bloodhound let off the leash. think of blood, generally — something slick and thrumming and visceral. if eunseok wants something, he will take it, because honestly? eight times out of ten, the taking is what he really wants, in the end.

weirdly intense but deeply unserious lol.

he's no master manipulator . . . moreso a cudgel lol. does very little plotting for how often he seems to be Making Moves(tm). how things never really come back to bite him should be studied in a lab, or maybe made into a hbs case study, but he's smarter than most people give him credit for, particularly in actual business management (unironically i think he would thrive as a logistics guy), but he cares little for mind games and saving face and also likes baiting fights for fun so. yeah.

thinks everyone playing nice is a hypocrite and a dummy! comes across as super arrogant but like in his mind . . . he's just being honest? like, yeah. he's rich. he wins a lot. by virtue of him winning, someone else, e.g., you, are a loser. life is short so why are we wasting time pretending otherwise?

ooough i wanna punch eunseok just reading this back. ironically i'd still absolutely go to the club with him because despite it all you know our boy is good fun. also you'll probably leave with an insane story. but i digress.

WANTED CONNECTIONS

these r. rough but! i'm really very open to brainstorming!!

a childhood friend — someone who witnessed eunseok's various metamorphoses and who is probably the only person, other than eunseok's father, who was unsurprised when eunseok fell in line after graduation. i'm flexible re: the exact contours of the relationship (ride or dies for life! drifted apart! bitter enemies), but i like the idea of someone knowing eunseok better than he knows himself.

2024 : if yr muse is involved with electronics: i present to u the (pending) heir of korea's largest semiconductor manufacturer. mwah ok.

2016 : love, hate, whatever — the point is that eunseok is used to evoking strong reactions. your muse, however, doesn't seem to care at all, nonreactive to flirtation and fury, and that really doesn't sit well with eunseok. tensions are high; maybe this volatility comes to a head.

2016 : alternately, maybe an initiate who has gotten the idea of gaining eunseok's approval into their head (get well soon!). get ready to have your time supremely wasted, buddy.

2016 : another envelope-pusher. yeah, the king's club parties, but you two party, making recklessness a game.

2016 (+2024, maybe!) : the person whose door eunseok finds himself stumbling to when the party's over. in the haze between intoxication and sobriety, you get to see a eunseok that even eunseok doesn't get to see — one that voices insecurities and worries. it's a weird sense of trust, and not even one necessarily tied to fondness (though it could be!). it could also be fun, i think, if they didn't keep in touch but for eunseok drunk-dialing your muse. that'll make the reunion exciting, eh!!

friends. enemies. flings. i don't necessarily know that eunseok's capable of holding down a relationship but i think it could be funny to see him try. in 2024 his family's probably trying to set him up with someone, so that could be something, maybe?

[nerevarswritingstuff]

Okay, my little chicken nuggets. Come grab a seat and gather round, because there are a few things I need to address.

TL;DR if you don't feel like reading: You want me to update my fics (especially my Hazbin fic) faster/sooner? Pay me.

To those of you who enjoyed my Hazbin Hotel and Lego Monkie Kid writing, thank you. I deeply appreciate all the love you show in how I portray the characters. It warms my cold, dead heart to share my stories with you guys and to enjoy them as much as I do.

I think, however, one thing some of you are forgetting is one tiny fact.

I do this shit for free. I don't get paid to write 30+ chapters that have over five or six thousand words per chapter. This is stuff I do in my spare time, which is dwindling with IRL stuff going on, and other projects that I am currently having in the works (which, fellow LMK fans, look out for in the unforseeable future).

So I'm making this statement here and now. Anyone who asks in my comments or send messages here asking when I will update my HH or LMK fic? Especially my HH fic?? Here's my answer. Pay me and I'll update it sooner.

While I have no plans to abandon either fics, and do have an ending in mind for both, the Hazbin fic quite literally on the farthest back burner right now of what I plan or want to work on. So if you guys want me to continue it sooner, then we can discuss in DM's about how much it'll cost to post the next chapter.

To those of you who are just innocent bystanders, just skip over this and keep doin' you. Quite frankly, I'm getting tired of people asking me on AO3 and in my asks about when I'll be updating. I am busy. I am working. I will get back to it eventually, but it's not any time soon.

That is all.

[sugarskies]

hi! just want to give a small heads up to those who read my fic "the deca" that i am planning to run through and revise some stuff in the series over the next month or so. i know there are some people who enjoy rereading so if you look and you think something is funky, it is. series one was posted almost 5 years ago now (WHAT?!?!) and it is no longer up to my standard. reflecting on my overall mindset, i think a big part of my roadblock in writing more is that i am not satisfied with the overall series in its current state and i think i can change that.

the series do get progressively better in quality, i think, but there's going to be some changes right up to series five so if you notice the formatting is funky or something isn't quite how you remembered, i probably changed it. i won't be changing any major plots but i am going to update ALL formatting to match series five and i plan to lowkey rewrite a few passages and reword things here and there.

there will be no changes so big you have to reread to keep up. i just want the general quality of the work to match the content that i currently produce. this is especially because this is a long running series so unlike some of my other works, the individual fics cannot stand alone as "products of their time." i am hoping to come out of this with work that holds up better (and hopefully has less typos).

i don't currently plan to update when i finish and repost each chapter as the changes shouldn't be that significant or important however if anyone is actually curious what ends up changing then lmk and maybe i'll post a summary of my notes and revisions at intervals lol

edit dec 16 '23: i'm revising more than anticipated and plan to post lil "update logs." block the tag #deca fic revision if u don't care about it.

tl;dr - i am in the process of revising my deca series to fix formatting, typos, and improve its overall quality. you do not need to reread anything to understand new chapters once they are posted.

[thecomicallytragicgangle]

mod pls lmk about the shows you watched as a kid im genuinely curious... ples...

[bleh.. mod here] [its rambling time]

[there were a lot.. erm (flipping through list) lets see]

[TL;DR cause of rambling: all my childhood shows were mostly cartoons, some being from the OSC and my favorites being OK KO, ducktales 2017, and gravity falls]

[going through the ones people ACTUALLY know about, including web series, there was OK KO, steven universe, ducktales (2017), avatar last airbender, legend of korra, gravity falls (RAHH GRAVITY FALLS FANS HELLO ??), and uhhhhhhh] [oh yeah. webseries i watched were eddsworld, this one JSAB animation (i really need to catch up on that), and uhh. oh yeah. inanimate insanity and a bit of BFDI. yeah im cool like that]

[oh dear there were a lot . erm. i watched those old shows like wile e coyote and classic tom n jerry] [holy COW does anyone remember jake and the neverland pirates. that show. that one. hello??? there was also team umizoomi. if it helps anyone recognize them its those 3 small creatures that had gordon ramsey star in an episode that one time]

[there was also one more show i very vaguely remember but i think about it a lot. i barely remember the name but it was stop motion and i think it was made by the same people who also made bob the builder? unsure]

[so yeah. thats all the ones i recall!! but my favorites were OK KO, ducktales (2017), and gravity falls]

[OH YEAH shows ive watched recently. amphibia and owl house. so silly. so goofy.]

[tywvin]

hello! i doubt anyone will see this as i don't think any of my mutuals from back then is still active, but how's everyone doing?

i know i've been back and forth with this blog, but this summer i'm doing a lot of... reflecting on things and as it turns out i love editing and creating stuff for media i love and very much enjoy the more pale/b&w aesthetic that was Big™ here back when i was active so i decided to come back here, at least for the time being

i will keep writing under the read more for anyone who's interested but tl;dr is that i'm trying to come back at my own pace without so much stress on keeping a super neat tagging system or aesthetic, just for the sake of going back to my roots (lol) and creating more stuff! if there's still someone out there i'd love to reconnect! <33333

i do have another blog now for more personal stuff & everything that just doesn't fit this blog, you can check it at @joohto. it's under a different account so i can keep things separate!

hi! if you're here i assume you want to know a bit more so let me explain everything a bit. these past few years have been hectic & i can only assume next year will be too, but i kinda miss creating stuff and spending hours creating and not consuming content all the time. as of lately i've been trying to reconnect with my hobbies after a long period of my life being only gym + uni + socializing and i'm realizing how much i missed this </3 so i decided to revive this blog with little to no hope of being super active but definitely the intention of using it to reconnect with my passion for editing!

i've been busy with finishing my bachelor's degree (!!) & my master's degree (!!!!!!) & WORKING (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) for the very first time in my life. needless to say it's been an Experience™ and i've barely had time for anything aside from what i just listed but i'm more and more aware of how much i missed tumblr and how much i want/need a creative outlet so here i am!

i'm still debating over keeping my dark/non-pale sideblog (@fattalflaw) but i will for the time being i think... idk if i'll post anything though :<

also trying to revive @finesources so if any of you are interested in being members too i'm definitely down to talk!!! lmk <3

i don't have much else to say... it feels so weird, but so nice to be back! ~

[friendshapedplant]

I want your fave spooky indie games!

TL;DR I'm looking for scary games to play on stream for October, preferably free or already owned (see below for what I have), gimme ur suggestions!

So I wanna stream some scary-ish games during October, love me some scary and I gotta couple ideas, but I wonder if anyone has any suggestions :0

I typically stream once a week, so that means I can do 4 games, but also who's stoppin me from goin into November with the scary content lmao (or I could stream more often, though that might be risky)

I'm especially lookin for games that are free, or I maybe already own from the Reproductive Rights or Racial Justice & Equality itch.io packs, or in my Steam library! (need to sign in to see I believe, lmk if its broken)

Popular RPGmaker games like Witches House and Mad Father are allowed, as long as desire to see them is there. Only ones off the table rn are are OFF (already played), Ao Oni (tried to play but too scary sorry qwq), and Lisa games (too much for me).

So far my plans are to play MyHouse.wad and An Outcry, potentially also Re:Kinder. If you have a suggestion for a game, leave them in the replies, reblogs, inbox, wherever you please!

[lgcyubin]

here to present (bad trumpet playing noises) the illustrious kim yubin whooohoooo (crickets chirping) please like this post if you're down to plot and i'll mosey over to your tumblr ims. i have a discord if that's easier (tho i am slower on it) - just lmk and we can swap usernames :) also clearly bandwagon-ing so i may be even slower here, but i made a twitter since it's come up a few times! i'm also still (slowly) reading through event stuff but to the extent anyone's still looking for event partners please hmu!

better known as jamie (not james) kim, kim yubin's a california boy who's found his way to seoul with lukewarm dreams(?) of becoming a kpop idol.

quick tl;dr of his relevant journey: joined lgc in july 2021 by sheer happenstance. it's been two long years and he's still not sure if this is what he's allowed(?) to do, but for now he's trying to dabble in a little bit of everything to figure out what he likes, and works his ass off regardless of what he does bc it's in his nature. he doesn't have a self-declared focus, but his (current) penchant is for rap.

vs. what he'd put on his hinge profile: fluent in english and korean, the proud owner of two on-and-off dimples that may as well be a craters, and his t-shirt's made of boyfriend materi—

family bg: born to an affluent family of doctors. literally. all doctors, all successful, all brilliant. he's the youngest of four (three older sisters) and the black sheep of the family because he's... well, not exactly studying for the mcat right now. he's smart and hard-working, but certainly doesn't think he is - growing up in the shadows of steep expectations will do that to ya.

for as critical of himself as he is, however, he likes to keep most of his neuroses strictly to himself. you will not get him to be vulnerable without an ample amount of kicking and screaming.

self-inflicted mental saw traps aside, yubin comes across as remarkably... well, unconcerned on the outside. he's a flippant person who has zero issues making small talk with complete strangers. he's candid, straightforward, and he's got a wicked sharp wit and a penchant for dramatics. he's a funny guy! sarcasm is his crutch! and he'd much rather you laugh at or with him than see him cry.

WANTED CONNECTIONS

in desperate need of: friends. and specifically: friends who will put up with him whipping his head around dramatically every time you whisper "look at the hot person behind you but don't make it obvious" (he would be such a good wingman fyi)

best friends! but just a couple, max. he's a closed off person so if he did have any best friends that might have a better grasp of the inner workings of kim yubin, it's a limited number, and you've probably known him since he joined lgc (or longer—he's not a seoul native, but he was in town most summers). fair warning that he will be calling you his work wife/husband (it's a show of affection).

at the back of my mind, he is very loudly like "i would rather die than have feelings for someone" so naturally i feel inclined to write out a terrible ex plot. or a crush plot. or both. any breakup with him was probably messy and might be accompanied by some resentment (at least from his end), and any crush he could possibly have will be saddled with internal conflict. let's give it up for being unlovable!

no one's seen him cry except maybe a close friend or his sisters but you happen to catch him at the worst possible time and he is now avoiding you like his life depends on it. even if it means hiding behind a potted plant the second he sees you down the hall.

someone go on a perilous hike with him where you end up terribly lost and start to think you may have to spend the last moments of your life in each other's company so you might as well dish out all of your regrets and dashed hopes, right? it's not like you're just meters away from the path you were supposed to be on, right? good thing neither of you are drama queens, right???

if you would like to entertain the idea of having an inconsequential crush on the most charmless guy alive, please do so because he'd be so so uncomfortable with the concept of it and it'd be funny.

familial connection — he joined lgc back in july 2021 with his cousin (female), and she is 100% the reason why he's here. he's all about tough love and being mister sass pants so no one figures out just how much he cares about them, but he would do just about anything for his family and he's especially close to her.

[bobby-r2d2-floyd]

lil life update/what's been going on:

[tl;dr: my life has been a mess and i finally have alone time after a month and a half of guests and can start writing again]

sorry i've been mia these past few weeks! my house has been a revolving door of guests since april. my best friend stayed with me for a week at the end of april, and then a friend had to move in for the whole month of may (which was a fucking nightmare), then the day my friend moved out my mom decided to come for a visit and immediately yelled at me for not having a job in a veterinary clinic (im applying to vet school but i need clinic hours, if anyone in the lansing, mi area knows of clinics hiring lmk), and then last week a different friend stayed with me for a few days and we ended up spending 7 hours in the er with her baby the night before she was supposed to leave 🫠 (the baby is doing great!) also i beat disney dreamlight valley???

anyways, hopefully i'll have some new parts posted for everything next weekish? maybe by friday?

[that-thing-that-feeling]

I think the writers strike is happening now (correct me if i am wrong), some of the people that i've talked to said that it could take 3-4 months (like the previous writers strike), and it could naturally delay some of the production.... but i am confused bc how is it gonna affect the filming for ST now bc the filming starts in may/june?

It is happening officially as of today and the WGA has excellent reasons to strike and I completely support it.

It def will affect ST production unless they really have finished writing the season, but, even then, they always do rewrites the whole time. Maybe bc they’re so close to filming, and (if rumors are true) are beginning with specific limited filming, they could start filming that? That’s doubtful though as not only is the season prob not finished, but the Duffers couldn’t revise the writing as they go along as they and the writers room usually do (think for instance of how the Byers brothers scene was added during filming and they also make lots of smaller rewrites too) bc that would break the strike. I don’t see how they could begin production without the ability to revise, so would need to wait until after the strike.

Then there’s the bigger question of what else constitutes breaking the strike. Do you do table reads during a WGA strike—aren’t the writers usually present for those? Doesn’t it feel anti union to hold them and proceed with filming as normal—esp bc SAG and DGA support the WGA strike (altho SAG is advised to keep working during it). How is filming not crossing pickets? IASTE and Teamsters I’m assuming will do the right thing and not cross picket lines.

tl; dr I don’t see how they can begin production.

So it depends on how long it takes for studios to come to the table and actually fix the problems that need fixing; the sides seem very far apart with the studios barely offering anything.

If anyone has read any good articles on how it affects streamers lmk—the stuff I’ve read is Sarandos saying oh we’ve got plenty of content, but nothing specific about shows about to begin production.

[animmortalist]

Fic Update!

Hello, lovelies!! I hope you're all doing well. I wanted to provide this update for anyone who's still reading my fic (aka animmortalist ao3 user), and waiting (so patiently!) for an update on one of my wips.

This is probably gonna be too-long and give more detail than is necessary, so if you just want the cliff notes, feel free to skip to the tl;dr, and that will be followed by a quick hits of this post and what fic updates will look like on ao3 for me in the future.

I want to start by first thanking anyone who has ever read, sent me their thoughts, commented on ao3 or elsewhere, left kudos, shared, etc. re: my fic. I can't express how grateful I am and how I continue to be surprised (in the best way) by it all. You're all the mvps and made the past 3+ years of my life so much better. Each of you helped make me a better writer, and I hope I provided some fun stories (even amongst the angst lol) in return.

If I could, I would write fic all the time and push out updates daily that are well-crafted and that I am proud of. Unfortunately, that's not possible for me, probably ever (but if you're living that life go off we love that for you!!!). I don't know if I'll ever have a truly consistent update schedule, just as a warning. It's not ideal, but I'm learning to accept it, and hope those of you who still want to read my stuff do, too.

I've been dealing with a lot of life stuff the past two years. Like...A wild amount haha. But essentially, I've gotten to a good place with my job, mental health and original writing. All of which were a lot and sometimes a mess for much of 2019-2022. I kind of lost my marbles for a while there, but I want to express how much I appreciate that people are still reading and enjoying my fic. I never thought it would get to where it is now. I am always grateful and so amazed every time I see a new kudos or comment, whether it's a one new or older story.

All of this is to say, I do plan on continuing my work on fic. I can't promise updates all the time, nor can I give a concrete estimate on when they'll be finished. However, I feel committed to my works and want you all to know I'm still writing and thinking about them.

You can find a masterlist of wips here in order of priority. There are certain fics I'm going to prioritize writing over others. This is due to a whole bunch of factors, and while not every wip I've posted is listed, that doesn't mean I won't ever touch it again. But for now, it's not one that I'll be focusing on.

I will probably sprinkle in a oneshot here or there for other fandoms, but that masterlist is my goal to complete. I can't promise it'll be done by the end of year, or really give any concrete date/timeline. I wanted to share it regardless though, just to give an idea for where I'm at with writing. I'll update it as needed—whether that includes the completion of a fic, change in priority, etc.

Please feel to reach out to me with anything on your mind concerning this! I adore you all and sending all the good thoughts your way ♥️

TL;DR:

Fic updates are in the works!

You can find my masterlist of fics (ranked by priority) I'm working on here

I love anyone who's read, commented, left kudos, just told me in anyway that they enjoyed it, etc. re: my fic. You're truly the best and I will forever be thankful for you.

Please lmk if there are any questions (asks here and dms on twitter are always open)

[torialefay]

🥀 Mars in Sagittarius 🌒

bangchan as your boyfriend!!! (pt. 3, fighting)

(based on astrology) 🔞

✨bangchan x reader (f); angst, angst, angst;

(p.s. if you're here for the angst and not the astrology, scroll down to the star divider to start the story <3)

✨word count: ~ 6.1 k (i got carried away)

✨3rd part in a series!!! together, let’s take a look into chan’s natal chart to see what type of boyfriend he would be!

✨i will give a synopsis of what each chart placement means throughout the series (for all my non-astrology friends out there <3) and how that would affect channie in a relationship

✨ author’s notes:

(1) i am doing brief (just bullet points/highlights) astrological compatibility readings if anyone wants one! if you’re interested, message me your birth date, time, and location OR lmk your placements. i’m gonna limit the reading to include you x 1 skz member only! just specify who you’d like.

(2) the aspects in this reading are based solely on my opinions and interpretations! nothing about a person is set in stone simply because of astrology. please don’t use anything i say as canon :)

(3) tysm to @stayceebs97 for the ideas <3 you rock!

✨warnings: this part of the series is NOT sunshine and rainbows. it explores chan’s aggressive tendencies, which can be uncomfortable for some readers. also features a lot of cursing!

✨tl/dr: in fights, chan can be logical and wants to weigh all options. a lot of times, this does more hurt than good because it takes him a LONG time to bring up/respond to confrontation. he also has the tendency to project, which deeply affects him because he doesn’t want to admit that he is flighty (but he is low key high key). when things finally reach a boiling point, he tends to explode.

Mars in Sagittarius:

-Mars is the planet that is involved in aggression, plans of action, and how people approach confrontation.

-Sagittarius is a fire sign, meaning that they can have fiery streak when provoked. However, the sign is the mutable one out of the fire signs, which means that this isn’t always expressed, but really does come out when the same fiery reaction is brought out in another. This also means that in difficult situations, he CAN defer to the partner if they have really strong feelings about something, but if a conclusion cannot be met, he is comfortable in leading the conversation.

-Sagittarius is also the sign of action and adventure. They are known for not wanting to settle down. In aggression, this can translate into the tendency to be flighty- to take off when things get uncomfortable. It doesn’t necessarily mean that they will leave forever, but they definitely need their space if they want to calm their hot-tempered nature.

-Sagittarius is also heavily influenced by justice and fairness. They value honesty and being real. They typically do not respond well to poor treatment, or when they see poor treatment of others. They strongly fight against situations in which people are being advantage of or being taken for granted.

Other aspects in the natal chart to consider: 1st House in Gemini, 7th House in Sagittarius, 6th house in Libra

1st house in Gemini:

-The first house, also known as the Ascendant or the Rising sign, is all about how others perceive you. Often, it represents people’s first impression of you, as it is how you respond to unfamiliarity and can be a mask of how you present yourself in these situations. It is not necessarily your personality (this would be the Sun sign, of which Chan’s is in Libra), but it is a more superficial level that is very reactionary.

-Gemini is a mutable air sign that is represented by “the twins.” This analogy is used to represent the duality of a person, and how they can seemingly show different sides of themselves to different people. Geminis usually get a lot of flack for being considered “fake.” However, much like Libras, Gemini just want to be accepted and well-liked in society, so they will placate to what others want. However, unlike Libra, this can sometimes come across as disingenuous to people that do not really know the person. In a more positive light, they are seen to be very open-minded and curious people.

7th house in Sagittarius:

-The 7th house can be thought of as the opposite of the 1st house. It is about how YOU see OTHERS. The lens through which you initially respond to other people and assess them. This is also a more superficial response, but is a more reactionary one, again when in a new or uncomfortable setting.

-As discussed previously, Sagittarius is known for being a fun, open, and adventurous sign. They strongly value their freedom and independence. These people tend to get along well with others and are very sociable.

-A person with a 7th house in Sagittarius sees others in a very positive light. They usually see other people as new friends to be made and new experiences to have. However, people with this sign also see others as people who are flighty and sometimes unreliable due to their want for freedom. They can falsely believe that someone is going to “leave them” when the going gets tough, or that they cannot always trust that person to be there for them- even if that is not the reality of the situation.

6th house in Libra:

-The 6th house is the area of reconciliation. It is involved in how you respond to conflict and what aspects of life are needed to be settled in order for you to “forgive and forget.” This also represents the way in which a person approaches fixing the aftermath of an argument, if choosing to do so.

-We know from previous parts in the series that Chan is very much tied to Libra (it is actually also his Sun, Moon, and Mercury signs). Libras are known for being people pleasers and being well-liked. They also are associated with the balancing scale, meaning they truly value balance and harmony in their lives. They seek to attain this balance, as it is what keeps them sane from trying to please everyone all at once. Libras are very good at molding themselves into situations and meeting people where they are.

-Chan has several planetary placements in the 6th house. These include the Moon (ruler of emotions), Venus (ruler of love and beauty), Mars (ruler of aggression) and Pluto (ruler of reconciliation). This would most likely manifest in him needing to DEEPLY discuss the root of the problem in order to put a fight to rest. He has to satisfy this urge from the emotional, relational, and conflictive levels. He also has a strong desire to make amends, even if he doesn’t quite know how to initiate it or takes a while to do so. He will be in a very irritable mood until the issue is resolved.

As your boyfriend:

• You and Chris do not get into fights very often. Overall, his personality is very harmonious, and you typically get along very well in daily life. Down to the little things, he is often very understanding of you and wants to see things from your perspective.

• However, when fights do happen, it is most likely something he has been tethering with for a while or something that you brought up yourself.

• When Chan is mad, he doesn’t hide it well. When he’s upset about something, he will not talk about it right away. He will most likely resort to a blank or annoyed face, stop being talkative, and recluse to a different room. This can go on for hours or sometimes days until he feels like he is ready to talk about it (if he even does talk about it) or until you MAKE him talk about it.

• He gets most upset when he feels like he is being lied to or not being told the complete truth. He also gets very bothered when he feels like people he loves are being treated poorly. He HATES feeling like someone is trying to tie him down or keep him complacent when there’s something he really wants to go for.

• When something starts to bother him, he will start out being cold or distant, and will tend to run away from the problem. However, since he has a 7th house in Sag, he is likely to project this onto others. He starts to see them this way. One of his greatest fears is people leaving him, as he tends to be flighty himself. He has the mentality that he shouldn’t always bring up a problem, or it is okay to try to run from it, because other could leave him anyways if he made a big deal.

• I want to re-emphasize HOW MUCH of a problem this is for Chan. He deeply understands what it feels like to want to run and hide, but he is ashamed of it. Instead (due to 7th house also in Sag), he will project it onto you. He will think that if he talks to you when he is angry that you will leave him. That you will not speak to him. What he fails to realize is that it is he HIMSELF who does this, not the other way around. He justifies his moody spells and flightiness by thinking you would probably behave the same. He may even not see it as a big problem unless you extensively talk to him about it. It is a part of his nature (literally in his stars) to think this way, so he will need you to work with him on it.

• His Gemini placement in the 6th house hints that he can actually get pretty explosive when the blame is placed on him, especially if he thinks that it is unfair.

• His first reaction when getting into a heated fight can be intense- when it finally comes to a head, when he finally gets so worked up about it, he releases everything all at once. He can be loud and can say things he may not actually mean. With his Ascendant Gemini energy, he will know a lot about you and could bring up some things that he knows will deeply upset you. This is not his true intention, and this is not who he really is. It is a coping mechanism that he likely had to develop early in life. It is further exacerbated by the fiery energy of Sag in Mars.

• Again, you do not fight very often. Maybe minor disagreements here and there. But when there is a true fight, it is a BIG fight. A MOODY fight. Everything is laid out on the table and feelings will get hurt in the process. It may only happen a few times in your relationship, because eventually you both learn how each other operates. Chan learns that you are NOT going to leave him over a silly fight, and he learns to control his tongue (and stop saying shit he doesn’t even mean) when he gets to his boiling point.

• I want to make a point to say that Chan would never hit you, nor physically hurt you in any way during an argument. His chart does not suggest that at all. Any and all fighting would be verbal, or maybe even on an emotional level if distancing himself comes into play.

• After a fight, after Chan has exploded, he immediately feels remorseful. His Sun in Libra demonstrates that this is not AT ALL what he wanted or who he is. And although he prides himself for not letting many fights ensue, he can’t help but be ashamed at how he handles things once he finally explodes. He knows he has to learn how to open up more frequently about what he’s feeling, but it is very hard for him. He doesn’t know how to talk to you about certain things because he thinks it will make him look “weak.” What Channie fails to realize is that once he overcomes this, simply talking with you about it before it bubbles over, can quickly put out any fire that he feels.

• Although Chan feels terrible after a fight with you, reconciling what happened is difficult for him. He has to look at the fight from all different angles to fully get over it. He needs to come to understand the emotions behind it- both his emotions and your emotions. At the end of the day, he wants and NEEDS to maintain this love. He will work very hard to try and understand your differences. He needs to get to the root cause. He also questions his aggressive nature and why he reacts the way that he does. Overcoming this is one of his greatest difficulties. But it can happen. And once you have both sat down and assessed the situation, he can finally come to terms that it will be okay. That he can do better, and that you are not going to simply run away because of your disagreement.

• Chan will spend daysss, weeks even, trying to make things up to you. He is deeply bothered by the way that he acts in a fight. He simply cannot handle any residual hard feelings over the careless words he let leave his mouth. He would spend the rest of his lifetime making it up to you if he had to. You were supposed to be his peace, his inner balance, and his comfort away from the struggles of his daily life… And this is how he treated you. It was in the heat of the moment, sure. But to him, it is still unacceptable. And he resents himself for it. The fact that you stayed with him, that you remained faithful to him, that you didn’t LEAVE him made his heart shatter. He knows you are too good to him, and he promises to do better for you too.

• Chan, like I’ve said a million times, KNOWS you. He knows your love language. And to make it up to you, he is going all out. You like acts of service? He is keeping the house spotless for the next month so you don’t have to lift a finger. You like quality time? He is canceling all of his plans to go wherever you want- maybe even go on a quiet trip together. If work doesn’t let him, he’s gonna ask you to tote along with him. He’s just happy knowing you’re happy. You’re more into physical touch? He is snuggling into you all hours of the day. Hell, even the night. If he wakes up and isn’t holding you anymore, he turns his ass back around to cup you in his arms. You experience love through getting gifts? He’s getting you that ring you wanted… actually he’s buying you one in every stone just to be sure. He’d buy you a fucking house if he could decipher which would be the perfect one. You love having words of affirmation? He will hold you next to his chest before bed, telling you what a perfect girl you are and how he can’t believe how lucky he is to have you. How someone like him could be so blessed by fate to end up with someone like you. How he would never be good enough for you, but he would die trying. How perfect you looked in this moment, natural and soft. How he can’t wait to make you his wife and the mother of his children some day. How unbelievable it would be to watch someone as pure, faultless, and beautiful as you give him a precious baby- because even if they… No, she. Channie insisted it would be a girl. Even if she carried on his last name, she would be able to keep her mother’s perfection.

• Chan has been watching you. He’s been watching you for weeks. He didn’t consider himself to be a possessive boyfriend, but just because he didn’t consider himself that doesn’t mean he isn’t one.

• You had both agreed to share your phone location with one another. What if something happened to you? What if your phone went missing? Neither of you thought much about it. You didn’t check it anyways.

• But Chan did. He had to. He wished he wouldn’t have. He’s been going crazy ever since.

• A little over 2 weeks ago, you had come home late from work. Later than usual… by a lot. It had been almost 2 hours past your normal arrival time. He wouldn’t have normally given it much thought, but you didn’t even text him to let him know. He thought it was weird, but he shook it off. You said you had ran to get some art supplies, evident from the bag in your hand, and got stuck in traffic afterwards. Channie believed it.

• It wasn’t until the next time you were late that he caught on. It was only 3 days after the first occurrence, and now here you were, 2.5 hours late already and still not home. He got worried about you. He texted. He called. Nothing. He started to think something was wrong. He quickly scrolled to your name in his phone and clicked on the “Location” tab. He was so scared.

• ‘Why are you at Felix’s apartment? And not answering my calls?’ He thought. He called you again. And again and again, to no avail. Shortly after, he saw the blue dot on the map moving, slowly headed back to the apartment you shared.

• He thought it was random, weird even, that you’d be at Felix’s place without him. But who knows. He was sure there was a reason for it. He knew you’d tell him. Only… you never did.

• “What took you so long babe?” He pried when you had gotten through the door and into the kitchen. You hoisted 4 heavy bags onto the kitchen counter.

• “I just had to stop and pick up some stuff to bake with. They were out of almost everything! I had to look around a lot.” Well yeah, you had all the essentials. Flour, sugar, baking soda, chocolate chips. He waited on you to say that you had stopped by Felix’s to grab what you couldn’t find at the store. He waited for you to explain that you’d just popped by his apartment really quickly because you knew he kept what you needed. But you didn’t say anything. Not a damn thing more.

• Chan could have prodded. He could have poked. He could have asked you what you were doing at Felix’s apartment. But he didn’t want to seem crazy. He didn’t want you to think he was trying to control you- he knew how much he would hate that too. He figured you had just forgotten to mention the little Felix detail. 'It just slipped your mind' is what he told himself. ‘It was such a small detail that you didn’t even think to mention it,” he reasoned.

• He still couldn’t deny that he was a bit upset though. He bottled it in as best as he could. He put up a good front and a good attitude and acted like nothing was wrong. And it probably wasn’t. But he quickly favorited the “Locations” tab on your page just to be safe.

———————————————————

• You were bolting to your apartment door as quickly as you could. You were out way later than expected again. ‘Fuck. Chan is gonna start to catch on if you don’t start being more careful’ you told yourself. You unlocked the door and put on a big smile to greet your boyfriend, who you hoped wasn’t busy. You had a long day and really just needed him to help you decompress.

• “Babe, I’m home!” you yelled as you made your way through the hall and to the kitchen and living area. You looked around and didn’t see him anywhere. No response either.

• “Baby?” You called again. You checked the bathroom and the back deck, but no sign of Chris anywhere. It wasn’t like him to be in his room already, but you’d seen his car parked in his spot, so you knew he had to be here.

• You pushed open the bedroom door. “Chris?” You peaked your head in. You saw his curly little head faced away from you in his chair, hunched over his laptop. “Oh there you are! I started to get worried when you didn’t answer me.”

• “I could say the same.” He spun his chair around. You couldn’t quite make out the look on his face. He was serious. Stern. Upset? You saw his jaw was clenched.

• “What are you talking about?” You questioned him, furrowing your brows and gazing down to look at him.

• “I don’t know, maybe check your phone.” His eyebrows were raised at you, slightly scowling. You pulled your phone from your pocket and unlocked it. You usually had it silenced when you went to visit Felix… Fuck. 6 unread texts and 3 missed calls.

• “I’m so sorry, I’ve had my phone on silent basically all day. I’ve just been slammed at work and was trying to get caught up. I should have called and let you know I’d be late again. I’m so sorry.” You could feel yourself start to sweat.

• “Where did you go after work?” he asked with zero emotion in his voice this time. ‘Play it cool, y/n. Play it cool,’ you coached yourself.

• “Nowhere. I was at work and then I came straight home.” God, you felt like shit lying to him like this. You crossed your arms, trying to lean your weight back and look relaxed. Suddenly, Chan stood up out of his chair.

• “Don’t fucking lie to me y/n.” He was only inches in front of your face now.

• “I’m not lying to you! Where else would I have been?” you huffed out. You tried to look upset back, to stand your ground and hopefully convince him that you were telling the whole truth. You tried, but you could barely stomach him yelling at you like that.

• “Where would you have been? Hmm… I don’t know. Maybe with fucking Felix! Does that ring a bell?” he yelled at you. He had turned a new shade of crimson you’d never seen before. His eyes were dark, like there was nothing left in them except for rage.

• You didn’t say anything. You couldn’t. Your mouth simply wouldn’t move. You couldn’t deny that you were with Felix because you were. But it wasn’t fair for Chan to be yelling like he was.

• He took your silence as his cue to continue his now rampage. “Jesus Christ! I’m not stupid, y/n! I’ve been watching you for weeks just come home late with some bullshit excuse why you weren’t home sooner, why you didn’t check your phone, why you’ve been ‘soooo exhausted’… I mean fucking hell, could you have made it any more obvious? So yes, YES I checked your location and goddamn it if you weren’t with Felix of all people! And surprise, surprise! Every time I texted him, he NEVER responded until your location tracker had left his building… Mmmm, isn’t that funny?” He let his eyes rise up towards the ceiling, tongue poking into his cheek before he scoffed at you. “I should have fucking known better. I should have fucking known… You know what? Maybe this was my fault. It was my fault for getting with a whore in the first place.” Your jaw dropped. There is no way he just said that. There’s no way he thinks that about you. He knew everything about you. He knew how you had struggled with your sexuality before meeting him. He knew how insecure you were in your body and how you went out seeking approval in the wrong ways. How you felt like you needed approval from men to not feel terrible about yourself. How you felt extremely guilty and disgusted by yourself for mistakes you’d made in the past because of it. He knew that was the part of you that you constantly tried to hide from him. He knew how it took you almost a year of dating him before you felt comfortable enough with him to talk about it. Out of everything he could have called you, he chose whore? That was a deep fucking cut. You stumbled backwards slightly, trying to find some way to get your mouth to start moving.

• “Yeah, you have nothing to say for yourself, huh? Pathetic.” This was the angriest you’ve ever seen him. You didn’t know he was capable of this scope of intimidation. He towered over you, like watching his prey before he made his next move.

• “It’s not what it looks like,” was all you could muster up the courage to get out.

• “It’s not what it looks like… It’s not what it looks like?! Then tell me what it fucking is because to me, it looks like my whore of a girlfriend is going behind my back and fucking my best friend. I mean, Felix used to talk about how hot you were before we got together, but I never thought he’d pull this shit.” He looked off and made an annoying smirk. He started to half laugh/ half scream. “This shit is fucking crazy! It’s just too fucking good!”

• Seeing Chris get so upset that he started laughing into it made you want to crouch into a ball in the corner of the room. You wanted to disappear. None of this was your fault. “Chris, just let me explain,” you sobbed. You couldn’t help it.

• “Oh look, now you’re crying,” he taunted you. “If anything, I should be the one crying. I mean goddamn it y/n. What didn’t I have? What didn’t I give you? You had to go off and get it somewhere else? And with Felix. Of course with my fucking best friend,” Still red as ever, you saw a single tear start to form in his eye.

• He looked down and to the side to stop you from seeing his broken expression. “I knew you would do this y/n. It’s not like I didn’t expect it. Just take advantage of me and then leave me like everyone else,” he was full-on bawling. You could hear it in his voice. He almost couldn’t get his words out anymore. “What did I do to deserve this?” He let his blood-shot, trickling eyes make full contact with yours.

• “Chris, you didn’t do anything. Just let me expl-“ you got cut off.

• “Don’t bother. Just go back out and do whatever the fuck you need to do to make yourself feel better. Obviously it’s not me. By all means, don’t let me stop you from doing what you want.” He all but spat in your face. “Not that you gave a fuck about me anyways.”

• You were stunned. Not stunned because you were scared, but stunned because of how WRONG he was. And how much disrespect he had just shown you. Who was he to cut you off when you were trying to talk? You had never been more furious in your life.

• “CHRISTOPHER BANG if you do not let me talk, I will walk out of this house and never fucking turn back, I promise you!” You screamed so loud you were sure the neighbors would hear. You didn’t care. You’d passed your breaking point and you would continue to scream as much as you damn well pleased. “Okay, yes, I admit it! I did lie to you! But not because I was CHEATING on you with Felix?? What the actual fuck?! Since you HAVE to know, we’ve been working on getting everything ready for the surprise birthday party that we were throwing YOU this weekend! I didn’t want to keep it from you, but we can’t have a surprise party without the fucking surprise!” you continued to shout. Chan’s jaw dropped open. His expression was blank. “Here I was thinking that I was being a good girlfriend, but apparently I’m just some whore to you! I can’t fucking believe you.” Scared of what else you would say if you stayed, you sharply turned on your heels to hurry out of the room. You quickly made your way to the bathroom, locked it behind you, turned the lights off and fan on. You leaned back until you could feel the cold wall behind you. You let yourself fall against it and slide down until you were sitting in the floor, bringing your knees up in front of your face. There was nothing left for you to do except to sob. Was this really your boyfriend?

• 10 minutes went by of nothing but tears. You were finally at the point where you had exhausted yourself of crying. You felt your tongue go dry. There was nothing left in you. All you could do was wipe the tears from your face and try to catch your breath. Deep breaths in and out. In and out. ‘It will be okay,’ you kept repeating to yourself.

• All of a sudden, you heard a tiny knock at the door. ‘Fuck off,’ you thought. You couldn’t be bothered to move a single inch.

• “Y/n? Please can you open the door? Please. I need to talk to you. I’m so sorry.”

• Silence was all you gave him. He wasn’t going to get anything else.

• Knock, knock, knock. He tried again. “Please open up for me. I need to see you, I need to apologize to you. I was wrong. Just please come out or open the door so I can come in.”

• You stayed radio silent. All you wanted in this moment was for him to go away. You just wanted to be left alone until you were exhausted enough to fall asleep and get out of this hell of a day.

• A couple more tiny ‘knock, knock’s could be heard, but they were much quieter this time. You heard a sniffle from the other side of the door. In a tiny strained voice, “Baby… baby please open up. Please, I’m begging.” You didn’t think you’d ever heard him in much desperation. “Y/n please. God, I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.” He started bawling. You could tell from the sounds behind the door that he had done just like you and had thrown himself into the floor, curling up against his knees. You could hear him quietly sobbing into them. You couldn’t explain it, but it made you feel even worse. To know that he was on the other side, feeling just as badly. You almost felt sorry for him. Almost. You could hear his hushed cries for at least 5 minutes before things started to settle down. It calmed you, but also made your heart start to race when the air was now filled with complete silence for the first time since you’d arrived home.

• You heard Chan sniff. You could tell he was trying to collect himself. Suddenly, you heard a tiny knock again. You didn’t respond. In the most diminutive voice you’ve ever heard, he whispered out, “I love you. And I am so sorry.” He sat there for a few seconds, contemplating if he should even keep going. Why would you care what he had to say anymore? He was the biggest asshole, and there was no coming back from that. He didn’t mean any of what he said in the slightest. All he knew is that he was hurt, so he wanted to hurt you back. God, he wished he didn’t. He wished he wasn’t the most useless human on the face of the earth. All he had wanted to find in life was you. He spent forever trying to earn you, to get you to give him the time of day, and now look at him. He was disgusted in himself. How could he ever come back from this? How could he ever come back from you? There was no coming back from you. It was either you or no one.

• He continued to whisper, to plea, to cry using only his voice. “I understand if you never want to talk to me again. I genuinely… I don’t,” you heard him blow out a slow exhale. “I don’t know what came over me. I know I need serious help, and I want to get it. It’s just- it’s just-“ the tears started to fall slowly. “When I thought about you with Felix… You, my perfect fucking girl, with another man… Someone else holding you. Someone else taking you. Someone else kissing your perfect little face…” he cried. “Y/n I just lost it. I saw red… And in that moment, nothing could stop me. If I wasn’t such a fucking idiot, I would have shut up. I would have let you talk to me about it. And I should have. But I am the absolute biggest fucking loser on this earth. I am so sorry. You don’t have to say anything, I just want you to know that I truly did not mean a single word of what I said. You are the most perfect person I have ever known. I am so in love with you that it hurts- it hurts to know that I caused you any pain at all, let alone this. I’m not asking you to ever forgive me, but just know that I will never forgive myself. I love you, y/n.”

• You remained silent again. You were trying to take in everything Chan had said, to try and store it all in your brain. But you were exhausted and could barely keep up. You listened as he began to cry once more.

• “If you want me to go, then I’ll go. I can find somewhere else to stay and you can have some peace,” he weeped and wiped at his eyes. “No matter what happens, just know that you were the best thing to ever happen to me. I will never love anyone the way that I love you. You will forever be the first thing on my mind when I wake up, and the last face I see before I close my eyes.” He was sobbing uncontrollably, his words now muffled, as he uses his hands to cover his face. “In my last days, when my body finally gives in, I will thank God for allowing me to have such a woman in my life, only if for a while. Your name will be the last word that I ever utter and your soul will be the last thought I ever have. I promise, y/n, it is a privilege to love you and I’m sorry if I’ve made you feel otherwise. I never deserved you in the first place.”

• He sat for another moment, and you could hear him take a deep breath, almost choking on the fluid collected in his throat. You heard a rustling motion as he pushed himself up slowly off the floor and then shuffle his way back to his room.

• He stopped dead in his tracks, sure he was being delusional. He turned his body back toward the path he’d just walked. He wasn’t delusional. The door was cracked open. “Baby? Did you do that? Is it okay if I come in?” He spoke softly towards you.

• “Yes,” you finally strained out. You told yourself that you shouldn’t do it. But you knew why you did. You loved him back. Everything he just said about you is exactly how you felt about him. You believed him when he said he didn’t mean the words he spoke to you. You also believed him when he said he wanted to get help. I guess more than anything, you believed he was truly sorry. You weren’t going to be able to live with yourself if you gave up on him like that- to live in a world not knowing whether this life with him could have been beautiful. To live in a world where you had to constantly think about him and if he still loves you as much as you love him. No matter how much your brain tried to make you say no, you just couldn’t. Not on him. That’s not how your heart works.

• He slowly eased his way inside the door frame, gently walking so as to not startle you. You could barely make him out with only a small amount of light from the hall peaking in, but you could always make out those loose curls. Seeing his beautiful, swollen, tear-covered face, you let out another small cry for yourself.

• “My sweet baby,” Chan extended his body down to you. He took your face in both of his hands and brought his face right to your level. He stroked your cheek with his thumb to wipe away a stray tear. He then tilted his head slightly up and yours slightly down, to leave the most gentle, lingering kiss on your forehead. You felt it burn into your skin. Not in a bad way. In a way that you had been craving it and didn’t even know until now. In a way that was searing away any wounds that you may have gotten. He pulled his face back and wrapped his arms around you tightly in a hug.

• “I love you baby. I’m so sorry. I will do everything I possibly can to show you that,” he whispered into the hair at the back of your neck.

• “You promise you didn’t mean what you said?” you whispered back, sniffling.

• “Pinky promise. Cross my heart and hope to die.”

• “Then I love you too,” you pulled him back off of you slightly. You wanted to make sure he could see the entirity of your face. “Which is why you are going to therapy.”

• He giggled like a small child. “I think that’s a good idea,” he smiled brightly. “How about we start that therapy with this?” He leaned in to join his lips with yours in the deepest kiss you think you’ve ever felt. Maybe this is therapy for you both.

Mars in Sagittarius

[infinitedungas]

ok so akram khan's production of giselle is cool as FUCK

i've seen other productions of giselle and always felt that for such a gut-wrenching story it was presented way too pretty and polished... this though??? fuck me, man. its grabbed my brain in a vice like grip and wont let go.

ramble under the cut but TL;DR everyone should watch this. 10/10, brutally efficient storytelling, ballet being legitimately scary, left me feeling hollow but in a good way like a tragic ghost story should

also if anyone else wants to watch it in the totally legal way that i did, lmk and i can provide means to do so

khan's choreography is incredible. ballet often takes something very physically challenging and makes it look floaty, effortless - a lot of the choreo here looks painful, or strained, or unnatural, and it works so so well. he's also brilliant at using the ensemble dancers to convey emotions and story beats - like the circle of dancers around giselle as she loses her mind, contracting like a muscle, almost like they're breathing so you really feel her overwhelming fear... then rolling like waves before swallowing her up entirely. in some productions giselle just kinda?? goes mad then drops dead?? but in this one, even without the rushing sea sounds at the end of act 1, it's clear she drowned herself. idk maybe this is basic stuff but as someone who sometimes struggles to follow the narrative in ballet without looking it up beforehand i really appreciate shit like this. it's really efficient and effective storytelling.

i also need to talk about the wili - when i saw giselle as a kid i didn't get that they were meant to be angry spirits, but here you can't fucking miss it. they're terrifying. gliding out en pointe in ragged dresses and wild, untied hair, in this really eerie regimented symmetry, crossing the stage in lines that weave in and out and make the dancers look incorporeal, like they're phasing through each other. and the sticks. the STICKS. the wili have weapons, the threat is established from the outset and stays present the whole time they're on stage. banging the sticks in time, using them to direct others' movements, it's like a nod to the interpretation of a stern ballet teacher or headmistress in horror stories (the movie suspiria comes to mind) and i love every minute of it.

also can we talk about the costume and set design? i already mentioned the wili but what i really love about the costumes and sets is how hard they drive home the focus on the class divide. the way albrecht's shirt is tucked in neatly, that tiny difference in costume marking him out from the rest of the town right away and telegraphing the reveal later on. the towering wall in the background with grasping handmarks from the townspeople who'll never scale it but forever keep trying. the moment when it lifts up and you see the silhouette of the nobles, in these lavish, exaggerated costumes (the duchess' dress!!! holy shit costume designer great job!!!!) in stark contrast to the townspeople's simple dresses and tunics.

also the SCORE. THE SCOOOOORE. some of it's really different / stripped back from the original and it really works for the stark environment it's set in. there's more than enough of the original music to be recognisable but even then there are often these kind of industrial sounding undertones that keep you on edge the whole way through. the wili dancing hilarion to death is my favourite though - the clockwork ticking alongside the drumbeat of the sticks on the floor is some frankly excellent horror scoring.

the commitment to making the story look and feel gut-wrenching, unforgiving, horrifying in places, sums up what i love about it i guess. i've seen classical ballet productions approach the darker parts of their stories in a big, bombastic, ooh-listen-to-the-brass-section-isn't-this-scary way before, but this so different. this is the first time i've seen a ballet production be quietly sinister and looming and horrifying and brutal.

i'm sure other productions of other shows have managed it (from a cursory look at akram khan's other work this seems to be his specialty) but it was a new one on me and frankly it blew my fucking face off.

[boa-h]

Yo I’m here for a One Piece matchup, if that’s cool! (It’s kinda long but I’ve got a TL;DR at the end so no need to worry)

Sexuality/Gender Identity: he/him(transmasc), gay + aro/ace spec

Hobbies: Drawing, writing, singing, just the arts in general. I also enjoy naps, and baking.

General likes: space(Orion's Belt is my favourite constellation), High Fantasy, D&D, moths, earthy tones, cold weather, horror, complex music, frogs, plushies(gotta heal my inner child somehow)

General dislikes: hot/humid weather, sports, spicy food, alcohol, arguments, cockroaches, math, reading(I can't process it for some reason)

Personality: ISFP-T. I'm an extrovert who's terrible with navigating social situation bc I can't take cues. I'm very much a creative, often in my head creating worlds and scenarios to daydream about. I' can be kind of annoying, very rambly and a little childish when I get excited, but I've learned to find it funny. I'm the Loud Friend(tm), but while I love rambling about the things I like, I always need time to recharge and just not talk for a while.

My main love languages are Quality time, gifts, and acts of service(giving), and Quality time and words of affirmation(receiving). I'm a bit iffy on physical touch, but it's more that I really want it, but I'm really not used to it.

small notes: I sing chorally, but I hold my music very close to my heart. I'm not the quickest to trust, but I'm good at analysing people and their habits. Out of Soldier, Poet, and King, I sadly, am the king(lmk if you need me to explain that idk how niche it is). My favourite article of clothing I own is a green hoodie that had a frog head on the hood; you can zip it shut and you become the frog(it's so comfy)

TL;DR- transmasc+gay, fantasy nerd with ADHD who stumbles over words a lot and holds his art very close to his chest, but often forgets to take breaks, and is very determined to better himself as a person.

Hope this wasn't too long, have a wonderful day/night, and thank you so much!

Heyyy! Thanks for sending this in! I actually had to search about the Soldier, Poet, and King, and it was definitely an interesting thing to know! I’m also a king btw, it was a surprising result

also I’m sorry if I didn’t get the gender things correct, from what I know is that transmasc means female at birth but express in a masculine way, you said you identify as he/him and is gay, so I assumed you wanted a male partner, so sorry if I didn’t get this right, I can totally redo it for you if you’d like

I match you with… Vinsmoke Sanji

Sanji is such a gentle and tender being it’s just so hard to not fall in love with him!

Don’t ever worry about being awkward situations because of the cues you didn’t take, Mr. Prince is always here for the rescue. Also, who says you’re annoying? Sanji loves it when you ramble about the things that you’re excited about, he won’t forgive anyone who speaks rude about it.

Receiving words of affirmation is definitely a daily thing with him.

Although, he’s not really fond of your green hoodie as it reminds him of a certain someone… But trust me, he loves you dearly.

[undeserved-halo]

hi hello, it’s me. i need some help, specifically help sleeping. i’ve tried everything: calming scents, not eating or looking at screens for at least an hour before sleeping, different positions, blackout curtains, calming sounds, literally the fucking military method- and none of it seems to work. it’s still taking me between about 4 hours to get to sleep, i get about 4 (5 if i’m lucky) hours of sleep each night and i never wake up in the morning feeling rested. it’s actually been affecting me a lot more than i realised, ive been doing a lot worse in school, being ruder to my family and isolating myself from my friends. honestly i’m sure a lot of u relate to this, or rather think ‘lol, that’s not that bad, i get _ hours of sleep’, and honestly, if anyone reblogs with something along the lines of that i’ll most likely just block u. because, like okay? go talk about it somewhere else, not in my post. if anyone has literally any suggestions lmk.

summed up/tl;dr - i’m not getting even half the hours of sleep i need each night, nothing i try to do about it seems to work, please lmk if there’s something u think could help.