#if he can have so much trauma and make mistakes but keep on kickin

[homeofthemany]

jack versus kai

part 1, part 2, part 3

second part of my "kickin' it in china" analysis! the post got long so i split it up lmao. robin keep your analysis posts to a relatively short length challenge, level: impossible.

TW for general discussion of trauma & ptsd, & a light allusion to abuse ["punished"]??? nothing really specific, it's all light.

seeing kai again; jack's resolve crumbling

i truly think that seeing kai again would emotionally destroy jack for a bit. not because jack actually believed he left that part of his life behind, but because he's always running from it. he dropped karate, became a skater & moved to seaford with no intention of coming back to it. then he does, albeit reluctantly, but this time he actually enjoys it. he doesn't get punished for making mistakes and has people he likes to train with, rather than the one person who's always trying to prove that he's better than him. and then right when he thinks he's let go, when he's at the one tournament where he can show himself that he's actually good at this thing he loves, kai himself shows up. and jack is forced to realize that all he's actually been doing is running away.

hell, he almost drops out of the fight right after, too! jack & kai's brief interaction when they see each other again doesn't give us much [other than the fact that he refused to let kai see him freaking out, showing that he doesn't want to look like a scared little kid in front of him], but jack's immediate resignation to everything does. he's already in the finals, but he'd still rather give up on the championship than have to face kai again; he just accepts that he can't win against him and seems pretty ready to go home before kim & rudy stop him.

about here is where i think things would seriously take a turn if this wasn't on disney! i think jack would've had a complete breakdown after seeing kai because of the ptsd from that match, and his relationship with rudy here would definitely shift into a much more personal one here because he'd see how troubled jack actually is. BUT THAT'S NOT THE POINT OF THIS POST & IS A DEEP DIVE FOR ANOTHER TIME. i also think that jerry, milton, & eddie would've been notified of all this considering jerry's his best friend [or is on the way to becoming his best friend] & all of them in general became close very fast. rudy's dojo is a sanctuary for those troubled kids, so they'd all have a tight bond even if jack keeps them at arms length regarding his personal life & history.

after they get him settled down jack's like okay cool maybe things will be all right! and then proceeds to get JUMPED LMFAO. kai saves him but jack's intuition is very strong. i think he would've known something was up because he's able to sense something off about ricky [1x08], brody [1x20], carson [2x20], & probably a few others i'm forgetting. but he not only sniffs out liars & bad people fast, he's just a smart kid who knows when something's up. my point is that jack has a very strong sense of danger, & it's a pretty consistent trait of his; he trusts his gut, & he's right often enough to be confident in his judgment. i can see him being very weirded out by kai suddenly being there to help, but can understand him looking past it because now he's just worried about whether or not he can compete. and he can't.

i would imagine that being told you can't compete in the tournament you finally felt you could prove yourself in, would suck. in jack's mind, this tournament was going to determine his future—but not his future in karate. winning the tournament would finally let him believe he was actually good at martial arts & that he was finally past all of the stuff with kai and his grandfather. but then his wrist gets broken, he can't compete, and kai, the guy who beat the shit out of him when they were twelve[?] years old, the rival he'd been trying to outperform throughout his childhood, saved him. how conflicting.

final part (:

[rayvenden]

Me, suppressing my feelings and a mess of an adult:

[georgiaswarr]

lister bird - part 1 (part 2)

this is me trying - taylor swift

“they told me all of my cages were mental / so i got wasted like all my potential” starting this playlist off with a song that i feel definitely will come to describe lister’s mental state, especially during iana - he’s fallen behind, he’s dependent on partying and drinking, but at least he’s trying to get better

still learning - halsey

this song incorporates a fuckton of lister’s struggles - the pressures of fame, trauma, dealing with past mistakes, of course self-loathing, and much more

timebomb - finish ticket

and another self-deprecating tune !!! this one in particular addresses the connection between drinking/alcoholism and feeling like a fuck-up

the key to life on earth - declan mckenna

i could probably go into great depths to explain how exactly this is a lister song but suffice it to say, lister grew up poor and we mustn’t forget that. “holy smokes / you kids and your jokes / asking where we got our jeans / and where the hell we found our coats” reminds me a lot of meeting lister, him getting into fights and being “held back for after-school meetings”, etc.

new age meds - the wldlfe

“self-deprecation; / a new age medication / and you might need some therapy if / you're gonna live your life suffocating / someone who you're supposed to be” here we have the theme of self-hate again, used in connection with drugs and addiction, too, which is very lister

are you satisfied? - marina

another song highjacked from @kindaorangey, they did a better job than i ever could explaining it here

knock me off my feet - soak

“saturday night on the highest wall / settin' 'em off, all 50 fireworks / kickin' the cannons, we watch them fall / it doesn't exist, the law” lister starts living the high, indulgent life once he gets rich, which is a stark contrast from how he grew up. in the end, though, he still has people he can call his home.

narcissist - no rome

“stayin' late, i just wanna get stoned / telling all your friends that I'm never at home / and my face filling up with blood / but you're still the same living like a bourgeois” highjacked from alice’s 5 playlist, another song about partying and the like but also being painfully aware of your own flaws

big black car - gregory alan isakov

a song about feeling inadequate and worthless compared to another person, which is how lister feels about himself compared to jimmy and rowan

eventually, darling - declan mckenna

abandonment issues, lost hope, impostor syndrome, disillusionment and an almost nihilistic view on a relationship - this song has it all. i personally associate it with bicci and lister reassuring both jimmy and himself that it’s okay if he doesn’t like him back - after all, “everyone leaves eventually, darling”

swimming pools - lxandra

lister grew up poor and we mustn’t forget that part 2 - this is another flashback to his childhood, while simultaneously showing the stark contrast to his current life - i like to interpret the line “still the kids who don't have swimming pools / in their 40-million-square-feet mansions, ooh” in a “yeah, he’s rich, but he still came from almost no money and this has had a profound effect on him” way

mind - declan mckenna

according to declan mckenna himself, this song “makes me think of my friend matty’s party i went to on halloween 2015 after playing a show […] the song lyrically and artiscally kind of reflects the confused mess of my 16 year old self”. this is something lister can probably relate to, feeling emotional turmoil and an incoming existential crisis while partying

joan of arc on the dance floor - aly & aj

“at the stake, we don't fight the flames / are you born in vain if you die a savior?” first of all, joan of FUCKING arc metaphors, second of all the death motif and lister’s “die young” mentality, third of all another dark party song which is how this applies to lister in particular

why do you feel so down - declan mckenna

listerowan song !!! “i think you're one of a kind so i'll never like myself / i think you're older and wiser so i won't let you tell / i think it over and over and hope you're thinking too / i think it over and over and hope i'm over you” because angst

know me - the band camino

and yet another angsty listerowan song, gosh i’m really making myself emo over here

18 forever - maris

a) such a bisexual anthem, b) a song about partying and feeling forever young

house party no. 1 - blossom caldarone

“you want to grow up too fast / it's a race to see who is left last / from lemons to liquor to loving each figure / you're constantly wired up the wrong way / you'll be dead in a year if i wait one more day”. this is how jimmy and rowan see lister, as a party-obsessed “rebel without a cause”

sedated - hozier

a song about addiction and self-destruction. i could probably go through every line of it but imma keep it short and just trust all of you to understand the sheer levels and poetry of sedated by hozier as a lister song

shadows - ruth b

another song from jimmy and rowan’s perspective - they see that lister indulges in a lot of self-destructive behaviour, smoking, drinking, having sex, etc. in the first part of iwbft, they notice all of that in an almost accusatory way, which to me feels like the tone of this song - “kiss yourself another stranger / ‘cause you know you love the danger, don't you? / give yourself to someone new every night, is what you do” for example is them thinking he sleeps with everyone with a pulse

burning incense - skott

i talk about lister and his relationship to religion in greater depth in part 2 with preacher man but i think that theme appears in this song too. generally this song is very much about emotional turmoil, feeling unloved and distant from your friends, and feeling worthless, so very much a lister song

those nights - bastille

theme of loneliness and finding comfort in strangers (which i know lister doesn’t really do anymore but still)

sunday morning - matoma

“i probably shouldn't say this / should keep it all inside / but maybe i'm just wasted / enough to speak my mind” bicci bathroom confession??? anyone????

love like ghosts - lord huron

another beautiful bicci song about unrequited love and feeling so incredibly strongly for someone that it feels beyond the realm of the living - that’s also where the theme of death in iwbft comes in, which lister grapples with in particular

high hopes - kodaline

this song makes me think of the confession scene too - lister realising jimmy maybe doesn’t like him back, losing hope and all that, and deciding he needs to move on

mirrorball - taylor swift

theme of personas - lister has the Lister Bird persona which is there to entertain people, to make himself appear fun, aloof, approachable, almost like a clown, even though that isn’t who he actually is deep inside

much like myself - emma jayne

and another song about appearing happy on the outside despite the fact that you don’t feel much like yourself