#if i bashed my head against the brick wall of painting hard enough to shove my pulped brain through

[rad-roche]

picked up a couple books. so help me god this WILL be the year i figure out sequential art AAAAAAAA

[ricksroaches]

Namjoon - Dysphoria ch. 3

pairing: Yoongi x Reader, OT7 x Reader (platonic)

Summary: As a last resort, Namjoon tells his strict, overbearing father something that isn’t exactly true. He ends up having to find a way to prove his bluff.

Notes: Namjoon is also a junior. Jungkook and Taehyung are sophomores, Jimin, Y/N, and Namjoon are juniors, and Hoseok and Yoongi are seniors. Jin has graduated but still hangs out w them.

word count: 5.4k

warnings: cursing, mentions of drug use, mentions of mental hospitalization

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Perfection.

The Merriam Webster Dictionary defines perfection as: freedom from fault or defect.

Perfection was the standard held over Namjoon’s head since the day he could walk. His dad expected perfection. Not excellence, no. Excellence has the stain of room for error. Perfection was pure, unscathed by failure. Freedom from fault or defect. And he accepted nothing less. He was obsessive. His mom always said that’s where he got it from.

When Namjoon was 13, he stayed up all night binge watching Star Wars. He didn’t mean to, the time just flew by. What he forgot though, was an Algebra unit test he had that day. He snuck a cup of coffee from the pot and felt tip top, but by the time 5th hour came around, he was dying. You know that feeling when your in class dozing in and out and time kinda warps and every time you blink, 10 minutes have gone by? It’s also not easy to think about quadrilaterals and Euclidean triangle proofs while your at it.

He made a C. He never scored less than an A. Ever. He was sure his fate was sealed. The walk home alone had his palms sweating.

Namjoon remembered a lot of screaming that night. At him, his mom, his brother. No one was safe. Even long after they’d been sent to bed, he could hear their shouts, muffled by the walls. Sleep didn’t come to him that night either.

Naturally, he grew to resent his dad, but then strive for his approval at the same time. All that stress festered into rage. The kind that would put the fear of God in anyone. It scared him, and he was smart enough to know he needed to do something about it. Every time he felt that twinge, that compulsive urge to bash someone’s head in, he’d do push-ups. 10 turned to 20, 20 turned to 50, 50 turned to 100.

By 14, he had developed a strict diet and workout schedule. His body fat dropped from 23% to 10%.

He joined the football team by his dads wishes as a freshman and quickly excelled. By sophomore year, he was not only the starting quarterback, but the team captain. His IQ and OCD allowed him to see patterns in the other team’s offense that others were too brain damaged to notice. He was basically the team’s strategist and often took the coach’s job of giving the rundown before games.

He loved to win. He loved the endless cheers and adoration they showered him with. None of that, however, could compare to the feeling of seeing his dad watching in the stands with a proud, contained smile. His dad’s approval wasn’t Namjoon’s driving force. It was the wrath that he’d do anything to be spared from.

Beads of sweat were blown from Namjoon’s forehead as he sprinted around the track surrounding the school football field. His heart hammered in his chest and his legs begged for rest, but he needed to make exactly 7 laps without stopping or he had to start all over again.

He could see the finish line inching closer in the distance and he pumped his legs even harder to go even faster until he sped over the thick white line. With a parting ‘fuck you,’ his muscles went slack and he collapsed into the grass. He couldn’t hear himself think over the all consuming sound of his heart thundering in his ears and him gasping for air.

Once his pulse slowed to a non frightening pace, he pulled the hem of his jersey up to wipe the sweat from his eyes. He laid his arm over his face to shield his eyes from the afternoon sun and let his body sink further into the grass.

He thought he fell asleep, because the light reaching through his eyelids faded, and he couldn’t feel the cancer waves beating down on his arm. Confused, he peeked under his arm-“JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!”

Y/N was standing at his side staring down at him. He didn’t fall asleep, he was just laying in the long shadow she cast. “What the fuck what are you fucking Annabelle?!”

“I called your name like twice.”

“What the fuck do you want?”

“Okay first of all,” she took the sucker she had out of her mouth and pointed it at him “watch it. Second of all, Jimin told me you needed a ride home, so I’m telling your ungrateful ass ahead of time.”

“Why aren’t you in class?” She put the sucker back in her cheek.

“Skip n trip.”

“You’re a dumbass. There’s no way they won’t notice your gone.”

“Joon this school’s budget is $300 and a handful of Chuck E. Cheese’s tokens. Those teachers could give a shit. Besides, this isn’t my first rodeo.”

“What did you take?”

“Shrooms.”

“What are you gonna do until I get out?”

“Dunno. I might rescue a cat from a tree, might steal the Constitution. You never know.”

“Okay well I need to shower before next period so,” Before he could finish she offered him her hand. He took it and she heaved him up a lot easier than he’d expected for a 5’4 druggie.

“Thanks. Now begone, demon.” With the small shove he gave her arm, she turned and meandered to the front of campus.

~~~

Namjoon’s stomach fluttered when his 7th period teacher started talking about what they were going to do tomorrow. A key sign of the end of class nearing. He watched the clock make its way around and around until finally, the bell rang.

He came down the brick front steps of the main hall, eyes sweeping for Y/N’s car. Nothing. With an annoyed huff, he made his way to the parking lot. “Why can’t you use the carpool like a human?”

He was nearing the back of the parking lot when the 1993 Corolla e100 came into view. Its dusty blue paint job and modifications courtesy of Yoongi and his father’s garage that he worked at. A pair of converse hung out the passenger window. When he got closer he saw Y/N laid across the front seat, plastic sunglasses balanced on her nose, hands folded behind her head.

He wrenched the door open making her feet flop to the seat hard enough to wake her with a choked snore. He swatted the bottom of her feet so she’d move. He sunk into the passenger seat and watched her hastily rub her eyes trying to wake up, glasses now perched in her hair. “You good?”

“Yeah.”

“Then why the hell were you asleep when you were supposed to pick me up.” She rested her forehead on the steering wheel.

“Sorry. Shroom come downs make me hella sleepy.”

“Do you want me to drive?”

“Nah, just hand me a Monster. I keep some in the pocket behind your seat.” He gave her a concerned look but reached around and pulled a lime green can from the pocket. She shifted the car in reverse and cut the turn to exit the parking lot, opening the can in her hand with her teeth in the process.

“I could’ve gotten that for you.”

“And not look badass? I think not.”

“That wasn’t badass.”

“Sure it wasn’t.”

~~~

Y/N wanted burritos and Namjoon was getting hungry so they stopped by La Michoacana, their favorite Mexican place, and ate them on the hood of her car.

By the time she pulled in his driveway, the sun was beginning to sink below the trees and buildings. He grabbed his backpack and sports bag from the trunk and walked around to her window, leaning his forearm on the edge and bending to be eye-level. “Thanks for the ride. My dad's home so don’t floor it out of here okay?”

“No problemo brochacho.” She gave him an OK sign before pulling her shades back down and driving off with two small growls of her engine.

His family was already having dinner when he came through the door. “Joon honey, is that you?”

“Yeah mom!” Who else would it be?

“Come eat dinner will you?”

“It’s fine I already ate-”

“Come sit with your family.” His neck hairs prickled at the sound of his dad's voice. He knew better than to keep him waiting. He dropped his bags by the coat rack and made his way to the dining room. He took his seat across from his older brother, Geongmin. “Care to tell us why you were late coming home?” His dad, at the head of the table, finally spoke.

“I was just getting something to eat with my friend who gave me a ride home.” His dad took in his answer before giving a dismissive nod and returning to his plate. Another wave of silence carried the table for another few minutes before his mom spoke up.

“So, Mrs Kwon told me today that her daughter Somin is still looking for someone. Why don’t you give her a call?”

“What? Mom, no. Why?”

“Aw come on sweetie it could be fun you never know. You need at least one highschool relationship before you graduate.”

The truth was, he’d actually had a few relationships in the past. He just never let them find out about it.

“Listen to your mother, she’s right. If you want to understand women enough to marry one, you better start learning now.”

“But…I just can’t.” His dad's gaze zeroed in on him.

“And why is that?” The words came out before he had time to rethink his idea.

“Because I already have a girlfriend.” His mom dropped her fork. Geongmin let out a snort and choked on his iced tea.

“What?” She placed a hand on her chest. His dad didn’t seem too mad. Yet. He set his silverware down neatly and folded his hands in front of his mouth.

“Who is it?” Oohhhhh shit. Now everyone was staring at him, waiting for an answer. Okay Namjoon, just say a female name. Any name, just say something.

“Y/N.” FUCK!

“Y/N? Y/N who?” His mom jumped in.

“L/N.” SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU IDIOT!

“Hmmm…. I've never heard of her.”

“You wouldn’t have.” He turned back to his dad who was still eyeing him. He could tell something wasn’t right, only making Namjoon’s thighs sweat more against the seat.

“I want to meet her.”

FUCK! FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK! NAMJOON YOU STUPID ASS MOTHERFUCKER WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!?

“Okay.”

Fuck a duck.

~~~

Y/N took a thoughtful hit of her joint. “So you're telling me…that I have to go to dinner with you…to meet your parents…because you said you had a girlfriend?”

“Yes.” The pair were sitting on the school roof during lunch. Her usual hiding spot.

“You know,” she blew out the wispy cloud, “for a genius, you’re really fuckin stupid.”

“Please Y/N they’re trying to get me to date this girl I used to go to preschool with. We hate each other!”

“Woah woah chill my guy. I never said I wouldn’t.” His eyes lit up and she held her joint above her head to avoid it being crushed by Namjoon’s hug.

“Thank you so much I mean it! I owe you big time.”

“All you have to do now is ask Yoongi.” She had to hold in her laugh when she felt his body stiffen, and ever so slightly take his hands off her.

“Oh…right.”

~~~

“Hey, Yoongs.” Y/N tapped one of the boots jutting out from underneath one of the various cars in the garage. The raven haired boy rolled out from under the car, laying on one of those rolly things. He looked up at her with streaks of motor oil and sweat on his face. His eyes lit up when he recognized the lame stance and shaggy hair that was his person.

“Hey, N/N.” In one swift motion, he was on his feet, wiping his hands on the red rag that was tucked in his waistband. He noticed Namjoon standing behind. “Sup. What are you guys doing here?”

“You see…about that.” Namjoon scratched the back of his neck.

“Come on Joon, spit it out.” She shoved him forward.

“Fuck’s wrong with him?” Yoongi pointed at him with his thumb.

“He has to ask you something.”

“Well on with it I have a job to do.”

“IneedtotakeY/NtodinnerwithmyparentscauseIsaidshewasmygirlfriendtogetoutofthemsettingmeupwithsomeone.” Namjoon squeezed his eyes shut and braced for his reaction.

“I don’t think that was a question, but okay.” His eyes popped open.

“Wait, really??”

“Yeah. If she’s willing to clean up your mess that’s all I care about.”

“I told you he’d say yes.” She bumped his arm with her elbow with a smirk. The wave of relief washed over him like jumping in a pool on a hot summer day.

“There are rules that come with that.”

“State your terms.”

“No touching below her waist, no pet names, no staring, and have her home before 10. You’re also allowed exactly one kiss if things get sticky.”

“Deal.”

“So when is it?” Yoongi listened to Namjoon explaining their plans while Y/N took his rag and started wiping the grease off his cheeks, nose, and forehead. Namjoon watched him sit still while she practically climbed all over him like a jungle gym. His patience with her was simply astounding.

By the time she finished and tucked the rag back in his waistband, Namjoon got a call. It only lasted a few seconds before he hung up. “That was my dad. I gotta get home.”

“Ight. That means me too. Bye Yoongs.” She spun around and followed Namjoon to the car.

“Ah, ah, ah.” She turned around. Yoongi held his hand up and made a ‘come here’ motion with his index finger.

“Oh shit!” She came bounding back and threw herself on him, wrapping her arms around his neck. He held her chin and planted a kiss on her lips. He made eye contact with Namjoon over her shoulder and gestured around her figure clinging to his body, dramatically mouthing ‘mine.’ Namjoon chuckled and climbed in the passenger side and waited for the lovebirds to finish their visit.

~~~

Y/N had just stepped out of the shower and wrapped herself in a towel when there was a knock at her door. She padded to the door and opened it. “Jimin! You learned to use the door!”

He rolled his eyes and stepped in.

“I was told I’m needed for assistance.” She swung open her bedroom door and they entered.

“Yeah, I need your help picking an outfit that won’t get Namjoon killed.”

“Hmm. I see.” He put his finger to his lip and eyed her closet. “Are they religious?”

“Not that I know of.”

“Old school or progressive?”

“Pretty old school I think.”

“Underlying misogyny?”

“What? Fuc- Jimin I don’t know.” He simply eyed her hair, face, and body, nodding.

“Okay, I think I have an idea.”

“And what is thAH!” Her towel was ripped off and he began rifling through her drawers. “JIMIN!”

“Oh please, nothing I haven’t seen before. Let's see…” He tossed a plain bra and a pair of underwear over his shoulder to her.

“Something comfortable, since you won’t be getting lucky tonight.” He moved to her closet nonchalantly while she scrambled to clothe herself. He pulled out an armload of clothes and tossed them on the bed. It was funny how he seemed to know her closet better than she did.

After countless trial and error, he finally decided on an outfit. A white, one shoulder long sleeved bodysuit with a black velvet pencil skirt.

Next was hair. “Jesus what am I gonna do with all this?” He held locks of her curls in each hand. It ended up not being as big of a problem as he thought. A nice bun with a few curls hanging out suited the look well. It was messy, but not too messy, and made her look put together.

Last was makeup. He opted for nude shades on her lids, minimal foundation and contour and a soft peach lip gloss. “In case they’re secretly Amish, I don’t want them thinking you're some whore.” She chuckled, his light hearted nature broke through her nerves. He pulled her in front of the mirror and admired his work. “You look stunning.” She couldn’t help the bashful smile that she hid behind her hands. Suddenly he gasped. “SHOES!” He raced to the closet and looked through her meager collection. He settled on a pair of white block heels, the white strap across her toes complimenting their fresh white pedicure. She slipped them on and he repositioned her in front of the mirror. “Now,” he slid his hands down her arms and rested his chin on her shoulder, “you look perfect.”

Her phone buzzed on the bed, interrupting the sweet moment.

Joon🦒: I’m almost there.

“Okay he’s almost here, do I look like a good girlfriend?”

“The best.” With a smile and a peck on his cheek, she slipped into the bathroom and shut the door. She opened the medicine cabinet and grabbed the bottle of Hydroxyzine. Namjoon had asked her to refrain from being stoned at dinner, since she tended to say some crazy shit when she was. Granted, he didn’t say sober, just not fucked up. Shaking out three capsules, she eyed them before tossing them into her mouth.

Namjoon’s grey BMW M4 pulled into the driveway, it’s headlights pouring through the front kitchen window. Y/N and Jimin shot up in unison. He grabbed her by the shoulders and faced her. “I know you're probably freaking out right now, but just remember, you got this. There’s no way you can fuck up so bad they never want him to see you again.”

“Way to put that in my head.” He just smirked and opened the door for her.

“Go get ‘em tiger.” He landed a playful swat on her ass, sending her out the door for him to close behind her. No going back now. She made her way down the front steps and Namjoon got out wearing a matching charcoal grey suit and met her on the passenger side. He opened the door for her and held her hand for support until she was settled before shutting it gently. His car was spotless. Yoongi took great care of his car but even he had maybe a jacket laying in the backseat. It looked like he just rolled out of the dealership.

He climbed in the drivers side and pulled out of the driveway. ��Was that Jimin?”

“Haha yeah. He helped me get ready.”

“How is he gonna get home if you don’t get back ‘til 10?”

“Hobi’s on his way to pick him up. Apparently they’re gonna drop and watch scary movies.”

“Hobi? Watching horror movies. You're kidding.”

“I've done it with him a few times, it’s quite entertaining.”

“I’m sure it is.”

~~~

It wasn’t a long drive to the restaurant they were meant to meet his parents at. It was a restaurant she’d never heard of, and probably would never be able to afford. He offered her his arm which she gladly took and they entered.

She was immediately hit with the smell of olive oil and fresh bread. Italian music floated over the light din of patrons dining on luxury dishes. Namjoon leaned down and whispered, “I didn’t think they’d pick such a nice place.” A hostess carrying an arm full of menus approached them.

“Mr. Kim?”

“Yes ma’am.”

“Right this way please.” Y/N almost couldn’t keep up in her heels with the swift steps the hostess made. She remembered why she never wore them.

The woman led them past table after table, until they reached another smaller room, lit with candles and a crystal chandelier. It was quieter than the front, but still filled with the light chatter of diners sipping million dollar champagne. Okay, she knew Namjoon was wealthy, but this? God damn. She might as well be meeting the President.

They eventually stopped at a table with a couple already sitting. His parents. She put on her best face and gave a polite bow when they stood to greet her. “안녕하세요 당신을 만나서 매우 기쁘게 생각합니다” She looked back up to see them both frozen in surprise. His mom looked to Namjoon.

“You never told us she could speak Korean.”

“주금” Y/N held her index finger and thumb close together with a humble smile. This was good. She’s off to a good start. Once they exchanged pleasantries, they all sat down. A waitress came by for their drink orders. His parents ordered wine and they both ordered sparkling water.

“So, Y/N, how did you get to know our son?” His mom was the first to speak. She was clearly the more excited one. His dad looked like he was at an interrogation.

“We met at a pep rally sophomore year, and I noticed he kept visiting the art room where I worked after school, so when junior year came around I just risked it and asked him out.” His mom melted over the story she made up on the fly. God bless her wicked creativity. It wasn’t until he met his dad's eye that his smile tapered. Although it wasn't noticeable to anyone else, it was obvious to Namjoon. His dad wasn’t happy. Allowing himself to wait around to be asked out by a girl? Disgraceful.

Y/N basically lied about everything she was asked. Where she lived, who her parents were, plans for the future. Somehow the conversation shifted to religion.

“Are you religious, Y/N?” His dad asked. She definitely feared talking to him the most, given the few rants Namjoon went on in the past.

“I was raised Catholic, mass on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, the whole deal, but nowadays we hardly have time to go.”

“Were you confirmed?”

“No sir.”

“Why not?”

“We…” Her mind froze. She couldn’t get past the memories of that age. Cold metal bed frames and IVs, stringless hoodies and slip on shoes. “We moved and by the time we found a church to join, my parents were too busy with new work to take me to the classes. So it never really happened.”

“Aw, well that’s a shame.” His mom remarked. And the conversation moved on.

Y/N barely remembered the rest of dinner. Her mind still stuck in the padded rooms. Eventually, the last of dessert was finished and it was finally time to go. She briefly excused herself to use the restroom. She was feeling pretty good while she washed her hands. She said all the right things, they didn’t seem annoyed or too judgmental. She pushed the door open and nearly ran into Namjoon’s dad on the way to the mens’ room.

“Oh! I’m so sorry!”

“No, it’s alright. Listen, I’ve actually been meaning to tell you something.”

“Okay?”

“You and my son seem to have a strong bond. I can tell he likes you a lot. But just between us, I know you lied to me.” Her heart dropped into her stomach. “I know you don’t live uptown, I know you don’t live with your parents. I know where you actually live.”

“W-what?” She was frozen in place as he stepped closer. “I understand you may be embarrassed of your financial standing and I’m proud of Namjoon for accepting you for who you are. But I’ll tell you one thing.” He leaned in her ear. “You will never be good enough for my son.” With that, he turned and vanished into the restroom.

All Y/N could do was plod back to the table where Namjoon and his mom were standing. “Joonie? Would it be okay if we went now? I’m starting to get cramps.”

“Oh no please. Namjoon, take the poor girl home.” Best. Excuse. Ever. Works every time.

Once they were inside the car, she let out the breath she’d been holding. Had she been holding it the entire time? It felt like it.

“Ohhhh shit.”

“Dear god what now.”

“Don’t look now but my parents are staring at us from inside. I don’t think my mom believes us.”

“Why?”

“She’s talking about how I wasn’t affectionate enough.”

“How do you know that?”

“I've seen countless of their conversations, I don’t need to hear to know what they’re talking about.”

“Nuclear option?”

“Going nuclear.” With that he leaned across the console and cupped her cheek, melding his lips to hers. It wasn’t as bad as she expected it to be. She thought it’d be rigid and awkward, but he had a way of making them feel comfortable. They parted and he shifted back into his seat.

“Did it work?”

“My mom is jumping up and down. I think it worked.”

He started up the car and pulled out onto the road to her apartment. “What you said about cramps, was that true?”

“Yeah.” She didn’t dare tell him the real reason. Knowing Namjoon she knew that would only turn out one way. He reached over and popped open the glove box in front of her. Inside were tampons, pads, makeup wipes, muscle relaxers, and more lined up in neat rows. She gladly took one of the pills. “How you don’t have a girlfriend yet I’ll never know.” Namjoon may be a compulsive hothead, but at least he knows how to treat a lady.

“Hey, N/N?”

“Yup.”

“Are you actually Catholic?”

“Yeah. All of it was true except for the moving part.”

“Did you, you know, believe in it? In God?”

“I mean it’s kinda like Santa. Your parents tell you he’s real and you’re too naïve to think for yourself so you believe. To answer your question, yes, I used to at least.”

“What happened?”

Hospital gowns, bed restraints, pills in little paper cups.

“….I pretty much lost faith in anything I couldn’t see the moment I was admitted to that place. Shit like that kinda breaks down your character.”

“Are there still times where you think you might still believe?”

“What are you, Jehovah's witness?”

“I’m just curious. You’re the last person I’d expect to be religious.”

“Rarely. I only turn to a higher power when I think there’s nothing left between me and death. When I’m so sure that my life is coming to an end that the only thing I can think to do is pray that heaven is real.”

“H-how many times has that happened?”

“Three times.”

“Oh.”

“Namjoon, promise me something. If one day you see me with my rosary, I need you to throw me in a mental ward and burn all of my religious shit. The whole box I keep in my closet. All of it.”

“I…I promise.”

~~~

The Beemer pulled into her driveway and he helped her out of the car, heels in hand. She took the shoes from him and he gave her a warm hug. “Thank you.”

“No problemo brochacho.” He mocked a scoff and pushed her away.

“Ruined it.” He circled around and climbed back into the driver's seat. Y/N made her way up the steps and turned around. She gave him a wave and he waved back from behind the windshield. With a chuckle, she went inside.

She was met by Yoongi and Taehyung sitting cross legged at her kitchen table. “And just where have you been all this time, young lady?”

“Yoongi, why is it here?” Tae sipped from the mug he carried daintily in one hand.

“Heard Yoongi whored you out. I tagged along to watch the drama.” She chuckled.

“There isn’t any. Go home Tae.”

“Can’t.”

“Yes you can. We were gonna hang out tomorrow anyway.” Yoongi fished his keys out of his pocket and tossed them to the fluffy haired pervert. “Leave even a scratch and I’ll skin you. Make sure you lock the garage cause if someone jacks it then I’m really gonna come for you.” Taehyung gave him an exaggerated salute and a boxy grin before he bounded out the door and to the car like Tigger. Yoongi shut the door behind him and spun to face her. “What’s wrong.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Don’t play that game with me, you know it never works.” She let out a long sigh and flopped onto the couch. The cushion dipped beside her when Yoongi sat down. She instinctively laid her head in his lap. He began plucking out the bobby pins holding her wild hair in place. “So how did it go?”

“It was fine at first. I pretty much had to lie about everything so they wouldn’t think I’m some gold digger.” He loosened the hair tie, finally setting her locks free. His fingers rubbed her scalp to ease the tension from the tight hairstyle.

“That’s obviously not the problem. You have no shame lying.” She giggled.

“It was pretty much fine halfway through, then for some reason they started asking if I was religious.” His veiny fingers mindlessly scratched her head, nearly sending her to sleep. “His dad asked if I went through confirmation, but it just reminded me of other stuff.”

“The hospital?”

“…yeah.”

“What about the other half?”

“I couldn’t really focus after that so I’m sure my conversation wasn’t the best.”

“You don’t remember?”

“No, I was pretty much in a different place after that.” He tucked a piece of hair that was hanging in her eyes behind her ear. “After dinner, I went to the bathroom and ran into his dad on the way out.” Yoongi stilled.

“Relax, he didn’t diddle me or anything.”

“What did he do?”

“He knew I lied about where I lived. Luckily he still believed we were actually together, cause then he told me that I would never be good enough for his son.” The head scratches halted all together. “It’s really not that big of a deal, it’s not like it matters. We’re not even dating.”

“Y/N look at me.” He met those e/c eyes and made sure he had her full attention. “You don’t actually believe that do you?”

“Believe what?”

“That you're not good enough.”

“I mean….no?”

“That didn’t sound very certain.” She turned her head back so her temple rested on his thigh.

“I mean I haven’t exactly been the gold standard in my lifetime.”

“You don’t have to be. Name someone you think is perfect. I’m talking not a single flaw inside or out.”

“….”

“So, why do you think you have to be?” She was quiet. He didn’t need her to answer, he just wanted to plant the thought in her mind. The softest sniffle could be heard. “Hey, come here.” He laid longways and guided her on top of him. She pressed her ear to his heart and he cupped the back of her head in his hand. He brushed a tear from her cheek with his thumb. “You might not be good enough for him, but you're too good for me.”

“I think I can live with that.” He could feel the small smile grow against his chest.

After a half assed shower, Yoongi tucked them both in bed. Once again her head was on his chest. “Did you tell Joon?”

“No.”

“Good.

“Although we did get kinda deep on the way home.”

“Like what.”

“My religious awakenings.”

“Oh, you really went balls deep didn’t you?” Her head bobbed when he chuckled.

“Ha, yeah. Speaking of which, there’s something I forgot to mention earlier.”

“Oh boy.”

“When we were leaving, his parents were starting to get suspicious because the entire night he didn’t touch me once.”

“I don’t see the problem here.”

“So he had to kiss me in the car where they could see.”

“…”

“Hey you can’t get mad you said he could.”

“I’m not mad. I’m just thinking.”

“About what?” He gently rolled her off him and he peeled the covers back. “Where are you going?”

“Hold on, I gotta piss.” She just laughed and watched him lumber out of the room in his t-shirt and boxers.

When he came back, she was sitting up with her knees hugged to her chest. “So what were you thinking about?”

“Was it good?”

“Was what good?”

“The kiss.” She thought for a second.

“I’m gonna be honest, it was unexpectedly pleasant, but you have nothing to worry about.” He came to stand at the foot of the bed.

“Why’s that?” She stood and bounced to the end of the mattress. She grabbed both his shoulders and looked down at him.

“Why would I cheat when I already have the best sex I’ve ever had?” He gave her a long, cool look.

“Until now.” He grabbed the backs of her knees and swept her onto her back with a surprised yelp. He crawled onto the mattress and attacked her with a barrage of kisses anywhere he could reach. It was going to be a long night.

[ourloveisforthelovely]

In Love and Death 6

Harry Potter AU

Link to Part 5 

Pairings: Regulus Black x Reader 

Rating: M

________

Evan lay looking up at the ceiling. He hadn’t moved in over half an hour. Dolohov leaned over to Rodolphus Lestrange.

“Should we poke him or something? Is he dead?”

Rodolphus rolled his eyes.

“He’s blinking, idiot. Rosier, it's been 30 minutes, can you get yourself together?”

Evan sat up running a hand through his sandy blonde hair. He scowled angrily at his two former associates. Both men appeared a bit bored and put out with his reaction.

“I am sorry that I am boring the lot of you with the news that my baby is having a child. I am going to be a grandfather at 20. There is something fucked up about that.”

Dolohov held a hand up.

“You're technically not 20.”

“I DIDN’T ASK FOR YOUR INPUT!”

Evan yelled. Rodolphus held up a hand.

“What?”

Evan snapped. Rodolphus shrugged.

“Y/n technically isn’t a baby. She’s an 18-year-old auror that almost took my head off. Y/n is vicious. She would be good on our side but we all know that isn’t going to happen.”

Evan’s wand was out before Rodolphus could say a word. He pointed the wand right at his friend and muttered “crucio.” Evan was not going to deal with this shit from his own friends. He was dealing with enough torture from his former best friend and daughter. The last thing that Evan needed was help from anyone else.

(meanwhile)

Regulus sat at the dining room table thumbing through a book. He glanced down at his watch curiously. You had been called out for a job the previous night and had not returned. Regulus had expected you home before now and was beginning to get worried. It didn’t help that you didn’t answer the stupid cell phone that Regulus still hated.

“There you are. You are a hard guy to find.”

Regulus glanced up to see Sirius standing in the doorway. Neither brother had said a word to the other in a few days and it hadn’t bothered Regulus one bit. Regulus felt a lot better since he had gotten his feelings off of his chest. Years of holding in how he felt about Sirius had finally escaped.

To Sirius’ displeasure, Regulus said nothing. His eyes went back to the book in front of him acting as though Sirius didn’t exist. Sirius stood a moment before sitting down across from Regulus.

“You are going to talk to me. I’ll be so annoying that you’ll sink to my level like a rock! I don’t know what makes you think that you are so much better than me. I asked you to come with me that night but you wouldn’t leave mum. You are a spoiled mummy’s boy who would do anything that they told you. I shouldn't be surprised though. You would never give James or any of my friends a chance. You were too busy with your holier than thou friends who were all a bunch of pureblood snoots.”

Regulus leaned back in his chair.

“I am hearing a lot of yous but not a lot of me. You, my dear brother, are a fine one to talk about someone being arrogant. Now stop posturing me and go away. I’m busy.”

Sirius smirked.

“Look at that! Your power of speech has been renewed. What are you doing anyway?”

“None of your business.”

Sirius watched as Regulus’ eyes flickered to his watch.

“Waiting on Y/n, huh? I’m sure she is just fine. I never thought that I would see the day that you would go gaga over a girl. To be honest, we all thought that you were asexual or something. I don’t think that I ever saw you talk to a girl.”

Regulus swallowed back the rage that was beginning to build.

“That right there shows that you know nothing about me. You don’t know about Ambrosia or any of the other girls that I dated. You were too busy being a manwhore. Now, as I said, leave me alone.”

Sirius shook his head.

“No, we are fixing our problems!”

“Somethings can’t be fixed.”

Regulus replied. Sirius jumped up.

“Stop being a control freak and listen to me!”

(meanwhile)

You stood outside the door waiting for all of the security enchantments to let you in. Tonks had been mostly quiet since she started throwing up in the neighbor's bushes. Your eyes flickered over to your best friend whose color closely resembled the half-rotten lime that was in the refrigerator.

“I think that you are going to be on desk duty soon.”

You commented as Tonks looked up.

“Ugh, no. I do not want to be on desk duty while you are out running around having fun.”

You scoffed.

“I wouldn’t consider being thrown against a wall by some overgrown death eater fun but if you insist.”

Tonks smirked as she laid her head on your shoulder.

“Watching you quote Supernatural was fun. I quote My name is Y/n Rosier. Prepare to die. That is going to be a classic.”

You shrugged.

“Good times, huh? Do me a solid and don’t tell any member of the male race in this house what happened last night. Regulus is already tense enough without me telling him that my head bashed into some brick. I mean, yeah, we beat that guy up and threw him in a cell with his name on it but if Reggie finds out that I got hurt...he will want to go to work with me.”

Tonks knew that you were right. Regulus was protective enough of you without her help.

“I won’t. Now come on, I really need to make a potion for my stomach trouble.”

The both of you stepped inside to hear Sirius and Regulus yelling random obscenities at each other. Your eyes rolled over to your friend.

“Here we go.”

The two of you quickly walked into the dining room where Regulus and Sirius had destroyed the room trying to hex each other. It looked like after destroying the room, they decided to beat the crap out of each other seemed to be the next best thing to try. Kreacher meanwhile, stood in the corner with a dustpan and a broom muttering about Sirius being a filthy blood traitor and starting everything. There was also something about "his poor mistresses treasures being broken."

“What the hell is going on around here?”

You snapped. Both Regulus and Sirius didn’t turn to look at Tonks nor yourself.

“We are just playing.”

Sirius replied.

“Go away, love. We are dealing with a problem.”

Regulus added. You blinked a few times before quickly going back into “work mode.” Tonks had started to try to break it up but you gently pushed her away and shoved yourself between both brothers.

“I said that is enough...both of you.”

You said in an authoritative tone that you typically had to take with morons that you were about to lock up.

“We aren’t done.”

Sirius hissed. You turned your attention to the elder brother.

“Sirius, don’t make me shove you in that other room. You know that I can too.”

Regulus laughed.

“Get shoved around by a girl, do you? That has to hurt your male pride.”

Your attention went back to your own lover. His eyes were wild and he looked as if he was ready to start letting the hexes fly again.

“I said ENOUGH! Regulus, Sirius knows that you think he is a selfish asshole. Sirius, Regulus knows that you think he is a selfish little prat. We don’t need to hear it again.”

You turned your attention back to Regulus.

“Come on, Reggie.”

Regulus turned his attention back to you. He felt a little embarrassed that it was you that had to come in and stop the ridiculousness between Sirius and himself.

“Where are we going?”

He asked, softly. You pulled your coat back on before tossing him his.

“My grandmothers. She asked to see me and I figured it would be a great time to give her the gift that we talked about.’

It was Sirius’ turn to frown. You going around your pureblood family was a horrible idea in the making. What if Evan was there?

“Um, why don’t you two go see other people? What is the gift? Did you buy her an urn to put your mother’s ashes in?”

Tonks elbowed Sirius in the side as you turned. You surprisingly laughed.

“Good one. Grandmother would just put her in a trash bag if she was given the choice. The gift is me dating another pureblood. She simply won’t know what to do with herself. We are going because I need to get information on my father.”

“But...it's dangerous.”

Sirius commented. You smiled and wrapped your hand through Regulus’ in hopes to calm his temper that was still raging.

“Between Regulus and myself, we will be just fine. Go deal with Dora, she has been puking in the neighbors' bushes. You or Remus caused this problem..go fix it.”

Sirius winced before leaving the room.

(Twenty minutes later)

You stood outside of your grandmother’s door with a sigh. Regulus watched you from the corner of his eye as you raised your hand to knock a few times but stopped. In the few months that the two of you had been a couple, you had barely spoken to your family.

“We are going to be standing here all day if you don’t knock already.”

Regulus hissed. You turned to your boyfriend.

“I don’t like my family.”

Regulus smirked. He leaned down to kiss the top of your head.

“What a coincidence. I hate mine too. Maybe it's a good thing that we can’t have kids. They would be making our lives a lot worse. Granted, most of my family is dead except my stupid brother. My mother’s portrait could screech from her painting. That would be miserable.”

You looked down at your feet for a minute.

“We can always keep trying. I know a lot of people who weren’t supposed to be able to have kids and when they gave up...boom they were pregnant.”

Regulus rolled his eyes. He wrapped his hand around yours and pulled you to him.

“We don’t need to follow in Tonks and those dorks that she’s dating’s footsteps to be happy. We have been happy just fine without this conversation not coming up. Besides, I like being able to have my way with you whenever I damn well please.”

Regulus was relieved when you smiled.

“You’re right. We are going to be just fine. When we get home, we can scare the crap out of your brother. Might as well get this over with.”

You finally knocked on the door before stepping back and intertwining your hand with Regulus’ waiting hand. The moment the door opened, your grandmother’s house elf “Daisy” stood on the other side. She looked up at you with a sour expression that the unfriendly creature wore so well. You couldn’t help but think that Kreacher and Daisy would really hit it off. They could probably compare notes on which family member that they hated the most.

“Mistress Y/n...a long time its been.”

You nodded.

“Yes, it has. I would like to see grandmother, Daisy.”

Daisy nodded and led you down a dark hallway. You kept your hand locked around Regulus as the darkness of the home soured your mood. The Rosier family home was as gloomy and depressing as the Black family home.

“Mistress, you have a visitor.”

Daisy announced as you stepped into the sitting room. Your grandmother sat with a knitting pattern in front of her. Her blue eyes were clearly surprised to see you and even more surprised to see Regulus.

“Y/n...Regulus...how is this possible?”

She asked, standing up. It had been years since she learned of Regulus Black’s death. Evan had been a wreck when he found out that his best friend “died” now here he stood looking just as he had the last time that he was seen.

“I can’t answer that, Mrs. Rosier.”

Regulus answered. Your grandmother was pleased enough with the response. Stranger things had happened over the past few weeks.

“Well, sit.”

Mrs. Rosier stated before returning back to her chair. She watched as you sat down beside Regulus. It didn’t take her having years of experience on this earth to know that the two of you were a couple.

“So, Y/n do you have something to tell me?”

You knew that this was coming.

“Regulus and I are a couple, grandmother.”

Your grandmother immediately looked pleased as a plum. This was clearly the news that she had been waiting to hear. After you became an auror and “let the family down” it was wonderful news to discover that you were dating a pureblood man that was decent and worthy (in your grandmother’s eyes).

“I am actually aware. Your father came to see me.”

Your grandmother smiled when your face went serious.

“He doesn't seem very pleased with the news, however.”

She added as your attention went to Regulus.

“I know, grandmother. He is having a bit of a cow over it.”

Your grandmother picked up her knitting needles and went back to work.

“You have to understand, Y/n, the last time that your father saw you was many years ago when you were a little girl. Finding out that you are an adult with a lover has to be hard for him to process.”

You frowned.

“So hard to process that he went and killed my mother.”

Your grandmother scowled at you.

“Yes, a real tragedy. Tell Evan that I said hello and he owes me five minutes of civilized conversation that doesn’t result in us trying to hex each other.”

Your grandmother stood up. Her displeased expression returned.

“Y/n, it's time that you stop this nonsense that you have been doing. You are a Rosier and it's time that you start acting like one. Your grandfather would roll over in his grave if he knew that you were an auror who is locking up our friends. Leave the room, Y/n. I want to talk to Regulus alone.”

You waited until Regulus gently patted your leg before standing up and walking out.

Mrs. Rosier closed the door behind her before pouring a glass of whiskey and handing it to Regulus.

“What are your intentions?”

“Intentions?”

Regulus questioned, softly. Mrs. Rosier smiled. She was used to Regulus Black’s silence. From the time that the boy was born, Mrs. Rosier had always adored Regulus Black’s shy nature.

“What do you intend to do with my granddaughter?”

Regulus had a feeling where this was going.

“You can tell Evan that I love her more than life itself. That should clearly state my intentions.”

Mrs. Rosier grinned.

“My son is convinced that you have abandoned the dark lord. I do hope that you remember the oath that you took when you accepted that mark on your arm.”

Regulus frowned.

“The dark lord is dead, Mrs. Rosier. What's left of our side is being swept up and sent off to Azkaban. You may want to tell Evan that he better watch his back just like I am having to watch mine.”

Mrs. Rosier smiled coldly.

“My dear boy...it looks like Y/n and yourself are being kept in the dark. The dark lord is back and strengthening with each day. Maybe you should consult with Y/n’s little friend Harry Potter about it. He, after all, saw everything and it's been all over the daily prophet. It makes sense that you didn’t know. Being an inferi for all of these years results in one not knowing all that is happening.”

Regulus sat taking in Mrs. Rosier’s words with a dark expression on his face. Was she right?

“I guess we shall see.”

Regulus commented before standing up.

“It was a pleasure, Mrs. Rosier. I promised, Y/n a date.”

________

@fairywriter-oracle

@amelie-black

@swinginsoulbailiffrascal

@velveteencurls

@realgaytrash

@sunles

@hello-love06

@li0nh34rt

@tas898

@marichromatic

@maggioli-m

@emiwrites3reads

@brokencasbutt67-writer

@authoressskr

@fandom-trash-worth-it

@hankypranky

@summer-novak

@shadows-and-padlocked-hearts

@untoldshortsofthefandoms

@stuckinsaudi1

@knight-of-gleefulness

@sprnaturallover

@mycuddlycorner

@wontlookaway

@shitfaceddaniel

[miss-tc-nova]

In The Moment - Neku Sakuraba x Reader

Not gonna lie, this one was hard. Between hectic life, writer’s block, and abandoning my first idea, I really struggled coming up with something good and I’m still not 100% on this one but it is long overdue. Thank you, anon, for patiently waiting for me and thank you for bringing me back to a fandom/game that I truly love. 

~~~~~

              Today is proving to be simply perfect. After mulling over ideas for weeks, going through all the necessary channels, and hours of tedious prep, I’m going to start my final art project today.

              Stepping back, I take one last look at the two-story building that will serve as my canvas. With my paint all prepped, the rarely-used road blocked off, my favorite music blasting in my ears, and perfect weather, I begin hurling balloons at the blank wall. It takes only a few balloons before I’m entirely engrossed in my own little world of music and art. The stone wall is already livelier with a handful of pink, blue, green, and yellow splats.

              In my own little paradise, I bounce towards my bucket of ammo. Another balloon rolls in my hand while my groove has consumed me. I turn back to my canvas, launching the paint.

              My heart stops. The balloon soars through the air in what feels like painful slow motion, inching ever closer towards its unsuspecting victim. It’s like a horror scene watching the projectile make contact with his face, molding against it before the rubber skin breaks. A wave of pink paint bursts forward, crashing down on the poor boy before the actual impact takes him to the ground.

              Hand to my mouth, I gape at the casualty before my senses snap back to me. Ripping my headphones out and snatching up a towel, I rush towards him.

              “Oh my god, I’m so sorry! Are you okay?!”

              Sitting up, he pulls down his headphones and rubs the paint from his eye. “What the hell?” He looks down at the smear across his hand. “What happened?”

              I push the towel into his hand. “You kinda got caught in the crossfire.”

              His orange brows scrunch together. “Crossfire?”

              “Yeah. I’m working on an art project and you walked right in the middle of it.” My hand waves to the dripping wall.

              More in awe than anger—which I found surprising—he stands up to look at my work. “An art project? Isn’t it illegal to tag buildings like this?”

              “One, it’s not a tag, it’s a project. Two, this building is scheduled for demolition, so I got permission from the city; that’s why I blocked the road off. Didn’t you notice?”

              We look back at the “road closed” signs.

              “Oh…No...” he mutters.

              “Hmm, maybe I should’ve put some on the sidewalks.”

              My gaze turns back on my victim. Beneath the neon color sprayed across the side of his head is a wild flay of orange hair and fair skin. His cloudy-sky eyes are outstanding, somehow lending themselves to the bright interest despite how soothingly cool they appear. I’d be clearly amiss if I didn’t admit that he’s cute.

              “Sorry for getting in the way.”

              He’s looking at me, and by the time I realize it, I feel my skin alight at the thought he caught me staring into his eyes.

              “I’m sorry you’re…pink,” I reply. “I might be able to save your headphones but I don’t think your shirt’s gonna make it.”

              He tugs at his shirt, a corner of his lips pulling back in disappointment. “At least it wasn’t my favorite, I guess.”

              There’s something strange about this guy, like he doesn’t quite know how normal people react; most people would be upset after being covered in paint and having their clothes ruined, regardless of whether or not it was their fault. However, next to this unusual naivety is the light of someone completely open, someone out to actually see the world for what it is. This is someone I want to understand, to aspire to be like.

              The words leave my mouth before I can even think about them.

              “Do you wanna join me?” I’m an idiot.

              “Huh?”

              The idiocy continues when I jam a thumb towards my buckets of supplies. “You’re already covered in paint. Why don’t you join me? It’ll be fun.” I pull this innocent kid towards the paint station, reaching into the bucket to plop an orb into his hand. “Here.”

              He glances between me, the balloon, and the wall. “Are you sure? I might ruin your project.”

              I grin. “You can’t ruin arbitration that easily. Besides, the whole point of this part is to just make a mess. So go on, throw it.”

              He shrugs and tosses the balloon against the stone where it breaks.

              “There you go!” I pick up another balloon, flinging it across the road.

              School projects aren’t traditionally fun, but I was having a blast with this school project from the start; with the guy—who introduced himself as Neku—helping me out, this might be the most fun I’ve ever had in my life. He genuinely puts his heart into simply throwing balloons, like a bubbling stream of inspiration, spurring my inspiration and turning this project on its head.

              My hand meets the bottom of the bucket—an empty bucket. “Damn. All out of balloons.”

              Neku looks up at the dripping wall. “Yeah, but I’m pretty sure there’s at least three layers of paint here. Might’ve been overkill.”

              “I had to make sure there was enough to cover every brick. Better too much than not enough in this case,” I say, starting to pick up scraps of scattered rubber.

              He helps me collect the garbage. “So is this all there is to this project? Hurl paint at walls?”

              “No, this is the background set up. Later, I’m gonna get some spray paint and do the more tedious work later.”

              “What was even the point of this project?”

              “Well, it’s an art project so…a good grade, first off. Second…” I pause to really think about how to word it. “I guess I really wanted to capture the spontaneity of life. That every moment can be a bright and colorful splat.” Neku chuckles, bringing out a more bashful side. “I guess that makes it pretty obvious who my role model is, huh? But I try to remind myself every day: Enjoy every moment-”

              “-with all you’ve got.” Neku finishes my sentence with an all-knowing grin.

              Even if the embarrassment burns between my shoulders, I can’t help laughing. “Is it too obvious where my inspiration came from?”

              “If it’s any consolation, I’m sure CAT would approve of your methods.”

              “That actually makes me really happy.” I look back at the mess I hope to turn into something incredible. “CAT’s art that got me through some tough times; I’d love to be able to inspire people someday the same way CAT’s art inspired me.”

              My brain short circuits. For a split-second while, I attempt to process what just happened, all I can feel is buzzing just beneath the skin. A hand reaches up to brush the spot he’d grazed but the fingers come away with pink paint. Neku, on the other hand, stands there, avoiding eye contact, a different shade of pink peeking out from beneath the paint across his face.

              “What-…” I can’t even come up with the words to finish my question.

              His face still blushing, he gives me a warm smile. “Just living in the moment.”

              The buzz surges into my chest, crashing against my heart with a wave of happiness. Building up my courage, I follow his lead.

              “Would your moment object if we maybe extended it by a couple hours?” A brow arches in question. “Tomorrow, six o’clock? Maybe with less paint?”

              When he understands, he shrugs. “Less, more, I’m sure it’ll be fun either way.”

              “Great.” Lifting my phone, I snap a picture of the paint-riddled kid.

              “What was that for?”

              “Your picture for my contacts,” I reply. “I assume you’ll be giving me your number, right?”

              He smirks. “Nah, I’ll just walk down the street and wait to get pelted with more paint balloons.”

              “So you’re gonna ignore more traffic signs?”

              The simper is marred with a laugh. “Worked the first time.”

              I shove my phone into his hands. “Don’t push your luck, buddy. You already got the date.”

              We swap numbers and clean up the rest of the remnants scattered about. I’m sure he can tell how reluctant I am to say goodbye, but we inevitably do and part ways. Once I’m sure he’s around the corner and out of sight, I literally jump for joy like a child on Christmas.

              My entire plan for the afternoon was to work on my project—taking into account both prep and clean up. I had absolutely nothing else in the books for today. Never in a million years would I have guessed that, in the midst of my work, an artsy accident would end up with a spontaneous date. I know my adopted motto says to enjoy the present, but tomorrow just cannot come fast enough.

[queen-scribbles]

You Know Me Well

(27. Unkempt for @31daysofwayhaven)

Now with art!

---

By the third time Abigail glanced out the station’s front window, she’d dropped any pretense of being subtle.

As had Tina, who was blatantly grinning at her when she looked back over. “Hot date?”

Abigail chuckled quietly. “By my standards, yeah. Not sure you’d count it th’ same,” she teased. 

“I am who I am,” Tina laughed. “And you are who you are. Which, in this case, is absolutely smitten.”

Abigail smiled as she shrugged and made no effort to deny it. She didn’t quite have the heart to clarify her “hot date” was with a book; Nate was just coming by to walk her home.

“Hey, I would be, too, if my boyfriend looked like that,” Tina said, nudging Abigail with her elbow. “No judgment here. I can finish this paperwork on my own if you’d rather wait outside for him.”

“I don’t mind-” Abigail started to protest.

“And neither do I, or I wouldn’t have offered,” Tina grinned. “It’s not exactly like we’re swamped tonight; I’ll have plenty of time, and your shift is just about done.” Her grin widened into something almost Cheshire. “Besides, you’re so distracted checking for Mr. Tall, Dark, and Handsome every ten seconds, I may as well be doing it on my own.”

Abigail’s face warmed at the friendly needling. “Sorry. This is th’ first chance we gotten t’ spend time together since makin’ it official. Aside from the carnival,” she amended, smile pulling her lips as she twisted one finger in a lock of hair and tugged it slightly. “I may be just a bit excited, yeah?”

“Oh, just a bit?” Tina teased, then made a shooing motion toward the front door.  “Far be it from me to stand in the way of romance. Go await your Prince Charming, Detective Jenings. I can handle this.”

Abigail only wavered another second before taking her up on it. “Thanks, Tina.”

“Don’t mention it,” Tina winked. “I know you’d do the same for me.”

“Anytime,” Abigail said, and she meant it. “You can keep workin’ in here if y’want,” she offered as she turned off her computer. “I think I can trust ya with my desk.”

“At least more than whoever’s responsible for that,” Tina said with a smirk. She nodded at the still-duct-taped corner and it was all Abigail could do to bite back a laugh.

“I would hope,” was all she said. “See you tomorrow, then.”

“Night, AJ,” Tina said, fluttering one hand in a goodbye wave.

“Night.” She debated gathering her hair back in a ponytail as she headed for the door. It looked breezy, no point in letting her hair get messier than it had to. But she found herself, for once, without a hair band around her wrist and had to settle for hoping it wouldn’t be too windy.

Sure enough, a late spring breeze bustled down the street just as she stepped outside and sent a shiver up her spine. My one problem with spring, she thought wryly. I never remember how much it cools in the evening. The blouse she’d selected this morning had been fine then, even without her typical waistcoat, but now proved... a bit lacking. Once the breeze passed, however, it was tolerable, and she leaned back against the sun-warmed brick of the station wall to wait for Nate.

She hadn’t been there more than a few minutes before he came into view, hands shoved in the pockets of his jacket and a smile catching his lips when he saw her.

“Hello, Abigail,” he greeted her warmly, and there was an entire sonnet just in how he said her name. “Apologies if I’m late.”

“Nah,” she assured him with a bashful smile, pushing away from the wall. “Tina shooed me out early ‘cause I was too distracted t’ be any help. Three guesses why.” 

“I would like to hope I only need one,” Nate said with a laugh, slipping his hand out of one pocket to reach for hers.

Abigail laced her fingers with his and didn’t even try to hold back her grin. “Yeah, me, too.You know me well.”

His brow furrowed slightly and he pulled her closer. “Are you warm enough? Your hands are chilly.”

“I’ll be fine,” she said, hoping she was right. “It’s just th’ breeze, yeah? While we’re walkin’ shouldn’t be a problem.”

“Alright, I’ll trust your judgment, AJ.” A long smile curved Nate’s lips. “Just let me know if you need help warming up.” His tone was innocent, but there was mischief sparkling in his eyes that had a flush spreading over her face.

“I-I’ll do that,” she squeaked, ducking her head as she scuffed one boot against the sidewalk.

“Sorry, was that too forward?” He gave a quiet, apologetic laugh as they started walking.

“Y’did almost sound like Mason there for a moment,” Abigail teased, then giggled when he grimaced. “I didn’t mind, I’m just still not used to it, yeah?” She tilted her head back so she could meet his eyes, her face still warm. “Havin’ someone who’ll say that sorta thing t’ me.”

“Ah.” Nate smiled and squeezed her hand. “I never mean to make you uncomfortable, AJ.”

“And ya don’t,” she promised. She kicked a pebble and watched it skitter into the street. “Ever. I’m just... still adjustin’.”

“Noted. I shall keep that in mind and ration those statements accordingly,” he said with a chuckle.

“Grand,” she managed around the butterflies in her chest, and they lapsed into a comfortable silence as they walked.

By the time they reached the edge of the woods, sunset was painting the sky in earnest and Abigail was definitely regretting not having a jacket. Another breeze skittered by and sent a shiver dancing up her spine as it tousled her hair, her grip reflexively tightening around Nate’s hand.

“AJ.” He tugged her to a halt, then slipped his hand free of hers so he could shrug off his jacket and hold it out toward her. “You look cold.”

She hesitated, despite the goosebumps prickling up her arms. “Maybe a bit, yeah.”

“Well, then.” He wrapped the jacket around her shoulders.

Abigail bit her lip as she slipped her arms into the sleeves. It was much too big, of course, the sleeves coming practically to her fingertips and the hem to mid-thigh. But it was comfortable, and soft, and warm. And it smelled like him, a realization that was hardly surprising but still had her eyes fluttering briefly closed when it struck.

Nate chuckled and took her hand again, his fingers warm as they wrapped around hers. “Better?”

“Much, thanks.” Abigail looked up to flash a shy smile. “Are you gonna be alright?”

“I’ll manage,” he said with a smile. “I am wearing other layers, after all.”

“Yeah, but...” She instinctively pressed close at another, stronger breeze, even if she was well-ensconced against the chill. “I hate for you t’ be the one payin’ for me gettin’ tricked by the warm mornin’ an’ not grabbin’ a jacket-”

He leaned down and kissed her forehead. “I’ll be fine, AJ. I promise.”

In the spirit of fairness, there was really only one answer she could give. “Alright, then.” He’d trusted her on this score, she could return the favor. She still walked close enough for their arms to touch as they resumed course through the woods.

“How was your day?” Nate asked, slipping his free hand into his pocket.

“Oh, fine.” Abigail twirled a lock of hair around her finger. “Work was busy, but nothing excitin’.” She wrinkled her nose. “Lotsa paperwork. That sort of thing...” She let her hand fall, and the jacket sleeve almost completely covered it when it swung at her side. “How ‘bout you?”

“Pretty much the usual,” Nate said with a shrug. “Patrols, paperwork of my own”--he sidestepped closer to her avoiding a branch--”though I did spar with Adam for a bit.”

“Yeah?” Abigail arched a brow in surprise.

“His choice, not mine,” Nate laughed. “Mason and Felix were on patrol at the time and Adam was... not in the mood to wait.”

“And you’d never leave a friend in the lurch,” she finished with a smile. 

One he matched. “You know me well. It’s good to keep in practice, even if that’s not my preferred method for settling conflicts.”

“Almost wish I’d been there t’ watch.” The words tumbled out in a mutter before she could catch them at the mental image, and Abigail dropped her gaze to her boots as her face flushed to the ears. That wasn’t s’pposed to be out loud, you great ninny!

Nate laughed and squeezed her hand. “Your presence would have considerably lessened the sting of defeat,” he said lightly.

She couldn’t help a giggle, knowing he didn’t mind terribly that this particular area was not his forte. “Didja use books instead, since I wasn’t there?”

He laughed again, the sound warming her clean down to her toes. “You do know me well, Abigail.”

“That’s not a hard one,” she demurred, before glancing up. “But I hope I do. Know y’well, I mean.” She stumbled a little over a root and had to look down. “I surely want to.” It was almost more frank than she’d meant to be, and she left her gaze on her feet even after steadying herself.

“AJ.” Nate waited until she looked up. “There are few things that would please me more than us getting to know each other even better. As I mentioned, I want to learn everything about you.”

“Terribly unexcitin’ as that experience’ll be,” Abigail said, one side of her mouth tugging in a self-deprecating smirk.

“Oh, I disagree,” Nate countered warmly, and she couldn’t stop the smile that curved her lips, proud that she managed to hold his gaze this time. It did still take a couple tries to make her voice work.

 “You’re off to a grand start,” she finally murmured, a soft chuckle following the words. “An’ I wanna learn all about you, too, yeah?” She wrinkled her nose.  “Even if there is a good bit more for me t’ get through.”

Something hesitant flickered in Nate’s eyes, but it was gone just as fast, and his laugh was genuine. “All the more reason for us to spend as much time together as possible.” They both tensed as another breeze emphasized the growing evening chill. “Though perhaps somewhere more... sheltered,” he clarified with a smile.

Abigail laughed. “Sounds good t’ me.”

“So, what are your plans for the evening?” Nate asked as they stepped free of the woods and back onto the sidewalk.

“Extremely comfortable clothes an’ losin’ m’self in a book,” she replied promptly, then bit her lip and decided to gamble on asking. “Assumin’ you’re not free to stay for a while...?”

“I truly wish I could,” Nate said with a sigh. He ran his hand through his hair. “But there’s a meeting...”

“It’s fine,” Abigail reassured him, squeezing his hand. “Just figured it couldn’t hurt t’ ask.”

He nodded. “Knowing that’s something you want is... gratifying, even if our schedules don’t allow it,” he agreed. “So, this book. Something new, or an old favorite?”

“Old favorite,” she said, slowing her steps to stretch out the short remaining distance to her building. “With work so busy right now, I don’t have it in me t’ start somethin’ new, yeah?”

Nate laughed softly with a smile that said he knew what she was doing as he checked his stride even further to match hers. “I understand. You just want the comfort of something familiar, especially in your leisure time.”

“You know me well,” Abigail nodded in turn, rubbing her thumb over the back of his hand. “There’s so little of it right now,” she added with a rueful chuckle.  “Hafta be picky how I spend it.”

“In that case, I’m especially honored by your invitation and regretful I couldn’t accept it,” Nate said as they drew to a stop in from of her building.

“Eh, there’ll be other times,” she said. The breeze whipped loose red curls across her face as she looked up at him. “In theory, at least,” she added wryly, reaching up to try and tame the unkempt locks.

He laughed and their hands brushed as he reached to tuck the windblown hair behind her ear. “Hope does spring eternal.”

Abigail giggled, then bit her lip when his touch lingered against her cheek. “Still wish y’ could stay now,” she murmured, gaze locked with his.

“As do I,” Nate admitted softly.

She wasn’t sure which of them moved first; him leaning down or her pushing up on her toes, but the resulting kiss was wonderfully gentle and soft. Almost chaste. Her hands dug into his t-shirt for balance, and his fingers--carefully--slid into her hair.

His phone beeped in the same moment hers buzzed and they both let out frustrated groans as they broke apart.

“It’s probably a reminder about the meeting,” Nate said, not even bothering to look, his eyes still fixed on hers. “Adam knew of my plans” --he brushed a wayward curl from her forehead again-- “and likely worried I’d wind up distracted.” He traced his thumb along her lower lip and chuckled. “He’s not wrong...”

Abigail’s face warmed and she smiled. “Mine’s prob’ly Tina bein’ a busybody.” She raked a hand into her hair to hold it back from her face. “I’ll check inside.”

He nodded and brushed a soft kiss to her forehead. “Enjoy your book.”

“I will,” she said, even though she wasn’t sure how she’d be able to focus on it now. “Oh, wait!” She grabbed his arm as he started to leave. “Your jacket.” She shrugged it off to hand back, shoulders hunching against the abrupt temperature change. “Thanks again for lettin’ me borrow it.”

She left off how tempting it was to keep; warm and soft and smelling of him.

“You are most welcome,” Nate said as he slipped it back on. “And thank you for remembering.”

“‘Course.” Abigail nodded. “G’night, Nate.”

He smiled fondly. “Goodnight, AJ.” His gaze dropped to her lips and he leaned in for one last quick kiss before he headed off down the street.

Abigail sighed as she watched him go, catching the lingering scent of leather and cologne. The goosebumps prickling up her arms drove her inside before she was truly ready, but at least there was a good book waiting for her.

Even if it felt more than a little like a consolation prize now.