#if i have any self control these will be my last selfies before Italy!!

[kaffilatte-moved]

💚 bought new candle with green blue flame + matching candle holder bc im WEAK / they still wield so much power over me it’s crazy / STREAM MY ALBUM 💚

[alexsmitposts]

It is Not China, but the Western World that should be Defined as the “Real Sick Man” Not long ago, the Wall Street Journal insulted China, calling it “the Real Sick Man of Asia”. China retaliated, and then the U.S. counter-retaliated. Emotions have been running high, journalists got deported. Suddenly, various Chinese officials expressed publicly what many in both China and Russia have been, for weeks, articulating in sotto voce: that it was perhaps the U.S. military establishment, which brought the new type of coronavirus (COVID-19) to Wuhan, in order to harm China and bring the world back, through complex backroads, under the West’s control. Suddenly, the world feels very uncomfortable. The way it is governed is clearly perverse. People do not always know why, they just feel frightened, prickly and insecure. Actually, they always have, during the last few decades, but this is somehow becoming “too much”. Countries do not trust each other. People do not trust each other. People do not trust their governments. Capitalism is despised, but nations have been robbed of alternatives. I work all over the world, and I observe all this. What I see, I do not like. Increasingly, I am fearful that what has been set in motion by Washington and London, may not end well. That a tragedy is waiting right around the corner. *** For many years I have been warning that imperialism is murdering tens of millions of people, annually. Predominantly Western imperialism, but also its offshoots in some places where the elites learned from their former colonialist master how to brutalize conquered territories, such as Jakarta, New Delhi, or Tel Aviv. Genocides and modern-day slavery have become the vilest reflections of modernity. Not the only ones, of course, but the vilest. I recently wrote for this magazine (NEO), that I have never seen the world so fragmented. Travel, Internet, Social Media – they all were supposed to improve the world, and to bring people closer to each other. They did not. I see confusion and disinformation all around me. People travel but do not see or understand. They stare at computer screens for hours each day, as they used to stare at the television screens, but they do not have any clue how the world functions. People used to come to us, philosophers, for advice. We used to interact. Not anymore. And look at philosophy itself: it has been reduced to a dry, controlled university discipline by the regime. Before, to be a philosopher used to be identical with being a thinker. Now, pathetically, a philosopher is an individual with a university degree in philosophy, which is issued by some college that is part of the establishment. And anyway, now almost each and every individual, at least in the West, believes that he or she is a philosopher; self-absorbed, posing and posting on social media, using selfies, with grotesquely boosted egos. Something has gone wrong. Almost everything has. Humanity is facing tremendous danger. Why? Because it does not understand itself. Its dreams have been reduced to some low, pathetic, sad ambitions. Its lofty ideals that were formed over long centuries have been belittled by the Western nihilist narrative. *** And then, a new coronavirus hit. Do not underestimate the coronavirus! It may have the mortality rate of an ordinary flu, but it is much more dangerous than that. Its danger is predominately psychological and philosophical, much more than medical. It arrived, unexpectedly, and illustrated to the world, that there is no global unity, no solidarity, anymore. Countries are acting and reacting in extremely brutal ways. It is frightening. It all feels like some of the bad, second-rate horror films produced by Hollywood. Governments are pointing fingers at each other, irrationally. Airlines are lying, robbing customers, while claiming that they are protecting them. I recently “escaped” from Hong Kong, after Korean Air unceremoniously cancelled flights to China, doing nothing to re-route stranded passengers. I flew for 5 days to South America, home, through several Asian airports, by the most bizarre routes, north and south and north again, then via Amsterdam and Suriname, zig-zagging through Brazilian cities, before reaching Chile. Peculiarly, at one point along the way, I ended up in Seoul, where I was earlier told I was not supposed to be to begin with, experiencing the proverbial South Korean racism on my skin, and going through outrageous humiliation and interrogation after uttering, at the gate before departing for Amsterdam, that North Koreans definitely treat people with much more respect and dignity than Seoul. I will write much more about this, in the near future, but this is not supposed to be the main topic of this essay. What is essential is that the logic itself has collapsed. The behavior of many countries has become irrational, if the rationale is supposed to be synonymous with the advancement of humanity and improvement of the lives of human beings. Now things make sense only when seen from the point of view of the desire to control and usurp, plunder and humiliate. And the coronavirus? Is the United States trying to take advantage of the situation, to monopolize the cure, and to save its economy and currency, at the expense of billions worldwide? On March 15, 2020, The Sun reported: “Donald Trump aides ‘offered huge sums to a German company in a bid to grab the coronavirus vaccine for Americans only.’” One day later, on 16 March, 2020, the Mail Online, amplified the story: “German officials are trying to stop the Trump administration from luring German biopharmeceutical company CureVac to the US to get its experimental coronavirus vaccines exclusively for Americans. President Donald Trump has offered funds to lure the company CureVac to the US. The German government has made counter-offers to make the company stay, according to a report in German newspaper Welt am Sonntag. An unidentified German government source told the paper Trump is trying to secure the scientists’ work exclusively, and would do anything to get a vaccine for the United States – ‘but only for the United States.’” The behavior of the Empire could easily make one sicker than the coronavirus would itself. *** The United States occupies and antagonizes countries and then it punishes them when they try to protect themselves. Israel does the same. And so, do Indonesia, India, and NATO as a block. Turkey is turning into a maniac. Iran, Venezuela and others are screaming, brutalized for absolutely no reason by sanctions and embargoes. Russia is being constantly smeared, just for helping injured nations, in the Middle East, Africa and Latin America. I watch all this and I wonder: how much further can all this go? Is all this banditry and idiocy going to go on from now on, and forever accepted as a normalcy? But back to the coronavirus. It is all connected to what I mentioned above, isn’t it? Billions of people are now being stripped of their rights and will, pushed around, and fully controlled, everything justified by a disease with the mortality rate of an ordinary flu? And do people notice that the victims are now being treated like criminals, something that would have been unimaginable just a couple of decades ago. China, infected by the U.S. or not, is being continuously insulted, isolated and smeared. Western anti-Chinese propaganda kicked in, almost from the start of the epidemy. How ugly; how monstrous! Western propagandists are alert, waiting, monitoring the world. Like piranhas, they attack with lightning speed, whenever blood is spilt, or a piece of flesh gets exposed. When disaster strikes, they take full advantage of the weaknesses of their opponent. They go for the kill. And there is nothing human in their behavior. It is a calculating strike against the victim. It is the surgical swing of a scalpel, designed to kill, in the most terrifying way. China reacted in totally the opposite way: when Italy got infected, Chinese medics offered their help. They flew to Italy with medicine and equipment. And China is not alone. Whenever disasters strike, anywhere in the world, Cuban doctors and rescue commandos take off, as long as they are allowed to travel and help. Venezuela, too. It used to supply cheap fuel, even to needy people who happened to be citizens of its arch-tormentor – the United States. And Russia, in whatever form (as the biggest Soviet Republic, or as the Russian Federation), it has been helping dozens and dozens of decimated nations: by treating their sick, educating their students, building infrastructure, spreading culture through books and music, all in local languages. Russia does not talk much: it just does, performs, helps. And so do China, Cuba and others. *** I want to see the world united. I want to experience humanity embarking on a beautiful project: improving the planet, searching, together, for an egalitarian system, with no misery, no incurable illnesses, no depravity. But I am not naïve. I see what the West and its extreme capitalism and imperialism are doing to the world. And I am convinced that only the classic isms are capable of evoking compassion and solidarity in the people. Propagandists in Washington and London tell you the opposite; they will lie to you that Communism and socialism are dead, or at least totally outdated. Do not trust them; you know that their goals have nothing to do with improving life on our planet. Whatever you hear from them, trust the opposite. Right now, our human race is like a sick, very sick person. Not because of the coronavirus, but because of the response to the coronavirus. China is not at all the real sick man of Asia. No matter how it happened, China got infected, but then it rose to its feet, fought with great determination and courage, and began obliterating the disease. Chinese doctors, Chinese people in general, are now celebrating. They are ecstatic. They are winning, their first hospitals dedicated to the coronavirus patients are now closing down in Wuhan. Their system is clearly victorious, created for the people. Almost simultaneously, China has started to help other countries. Actually, China and its people are behaving like human beings are supposed to behave. And, if that is called “sick”, then what is “healthy”?

[salmonthestoryteller]

2 Hours and 9 Minutes

A Yuri on Ice Fanfic

Written for @seungchuchuweek

It’s past 2 am and he has training in five hours. Four hours and fifty-two minutes to be exact. He went to bed and turned the lights off two hours and eight minutes ago… Two hours and nine minutes now…

He has just spent two hours and nine minutes scrolling through the pictures on Phichit Chulanont’s sns account. To be fair, considering it has taken him that long, it says something about how often the other posts. (Way too much) It also says something about how far gone he is on his fellow skater that he finds it adorable. (2091 pictures? Really?)

Seung Gil is not good at this sort of thing. Has always believed getting involved with someone at this point in his career would only prove to be a distraction. Hadn’t even sought out friendship with the other international skaters because what was the point? They were competitors after the same prize. Would proclamations of friendship really withstand that competition? 1.09 points between a place on the podium and going home empty handed? Wouldn’t they hate each other two events later?

Apparently some people can’t take a hint, though. He’s actually grateful for that right about now. Even if part of the outcome is how a casual comment about him needing to check out his sns by Phichit has him up at some ridiculous hour of the morning. Because he obviously didn’t have any self control when it comes to hundreds of selfies of his one-sided crush.

Deciding he needs a reality check, he clicks open his messaging app to shoot off a text to the other skater who couldn’t take a hint about his lack of interest in friends. ‘I am pathetic.’

Because it is only 7pm in Italy, and Sara is obsessive about her phone, she responds only a minute later. ‘Why are you awake?’

'I just told you why.’

'Were you video conferencing with Phichit?’

'He has 2091 pictures on his sns account.’

'O.O Did you look at all of them?’

'He suggested it!’

'He suggested you look at all of them?’

'Don’t be dense.’

'He suggested you look and once you started, you couldn’t stop? That’s kind of adorable.’

Seung Gil groaned. Of course she thought it was adorable. He thought about covering his head with the pillow and feigning sleep til it came. Instead he shot off another message. 'You know when I admitted we were friends last week? I take it back.’

’T.T’

'I am going to sleep.’

'I have a selfie with Phichit from when he was still in juniors.’

'That is bribery.’

'Do you waaant it?’

'If you were really a good friend you wouldn’t encourage me.’

'That just means we’re best friends instead of just good.’

Seung Gil decides to ignore her. Two notifications later he debates about silencing his phone. Instead he clicks on and shoots off: 'You are delusional.’

’…um, so no?’

When he sees the name on top of the chat reads Phichit instead of Sara, he gives a small cry of alarm, causing his husky to look up worriedly. Seeing he is fine she gives a huff and lies back down. He doesn’t blame her.

'Wrong chat! I’m sorry, let me read your message…’

'Haha. I feel sorry for whoever you are calling delusional.’ Phichit messages back.

'Just Sara. I did look at your account. You have a lot of pictures.’

'I guess I do. Say, isn’t it 2 am there?’

'Ah, yes. It is rather late.’

'Was your and Sara’s conversation that interesting?’

'Oh, no, I had just messaged her a few minutes ago because I was still awake.’

'You could have messaged me.’

'It’s late at your place, too, though. I thought you might be asleep.’

'I wouldn’t have minded even if I was.’

Now if only he meant that for the same reason he wished he did. Seung Gil sighed. 'Next time I will message you then.’

’\(^o^)/’

He’s probably smiling stupidly at his phone right about now. At least no one is there to see it The yawn takes him by surprise. 'I might fall asleep on you.’

'I’ll just leave lots of messages for you to read when you get up.’

'I’d like that.’

'Oh, what was Sara delusional about, btw?’

'She was claiming she was my best friend.’

'Isn’t she?’ Phichit was curious. 'You did give her your number first.’

Sara’s message pops up before he can reply. 'I told Phichit you were still awake. You’re welcome.’

'I strongly dislike you at this moment.’ He tells her.

'Aw, what a mean thing to say to your best friend. Now, reassure Phichit. Because apparently you scrolled through 2091 photos without liking any and he seems a tad upset about that possibility.’

'You told him??’

'No, you did.’

'Your messaging him still??’

'I am enabling your crush because I am a superb friend. I accept flowers, chocolates, and cookies as thanks.

'Two of which are against dietary restrictions and are useless to you.’

'I bet you would buy Phichit chocolate and cookies.’ Sara responds.

'Did you fall asleep already?’ Phichit’s message overlaps.

Seung Gil gives into the urge to pull the pillow over his head this time. On second thought, maybe he had been better off alone.

Fini

[psyadrin]

Ok for that overwatch thing,,,,, a l l

1. Who is your defense main? Mei and/or Widowmaker, maybe Hanzo.

2. Who is your support main? Idk, I like playing Ana the most.

3. Who is your offense main? Reaper!!

4. Who is your tank main? Dorito rabbit aka D.Va

5. Who is you MAIN main? D.Va

6. Which character have you played the least? 

Torb, Winston, Roadhog (all of them are at 0 minutes)

7. Which character do you want to learn how to play? 

Sombra, Tracer, Genji, Pharah, Bastion, Orisa, Zarya 

8. Which character do you dislike the most? I actually like all of them.

9. Which character’s background story do you like the most? 

Bastion, Orisa, Widowmaker, Genji/Hanzo, Mei

10. Which character’s background story do you like the least? Sombra.

11. Which map is your favorite? Black Forest.

12. Which map is your least favorite? NUMBANI.

13. What Arcade game type is your favorite? Lockout 3v3

14. What Arcade game type is your least favorite? Mystery Heroes

15. Do you prefer quick play, competitive, arcade mode, or custom games?

Quick Play and comp, but comp > QP. QP is pretty much the way I like to relax and spend time with my boyfriend by messing around with the people and get achievements. It’s pretty much a huge meme parade when we play quick play and I like that. That way we can talk, make jokes and that stuff whilst still accomplishing things.

16. Which map type is your favorite? Assault, escort, assault & escort, control, or arena?

Control, probably.

17. Which map type is your least favorite? Assault, escort, assault & escort, control, or arena?

Assault & escort

18. Which event map was your favorite? Hm, I’m guessing this means like the Uprising!KR and Halloween!Eichenwalde? If so, I like both very much!

19. Which event map reskin was your favorite? 

Winter!Hanamura AND Winter!KR, top notch, really!

20. Which event was your favorite? 

Halloween Terror, Uprising (for Reyes’s pre-Reaper voice if nothing else) and Anniversary.

21. Which event legendary skin was your favorite? Cruiser, Jazzy and Pumpkin

22. Which event was your least favorite? 

Summer Games 2016, because fuck that loot system back then. Hopefully they bring it back and let me buy the old skins.

23. Which event legendary skin was your least favorite? 

Cyborg: 76 and Cyberian. OH, and Ironclad. Y’know, fuckboi torb?

24. Which event non-legendary skin was your favorite? Nevermore.

25. Which event non-legendary skin was your least favorite? Stunt Rider: 76

26. Which event item do you most regret not getting? 

Order by event: Reaper’s BMX icon/ Nihon (SG16), Coldhardt (HT), Mei’s Snowman emote (Winter), Rein’s skin,, Wujing I think? (CNY), Cadet Oxton (Uprising), Oasis (Anniversary)

27. Did you beat the Uprising event on Normal, Hard, Expert, and Legendary?

Hell, no! Wish I had, I tried so hard for Expert!!

28. Do you have Sombra’s “Power Outage” achievement? Yep, after 2 hours or so.

29. Do you have Widowmaker’s “Smooth as Silk” achievement? Yes, idefk how.

30. Do you have Lucio’s “The Floor is Lava” achievement? Working on it.

31. Do you have Zenyatta’s “Rapid Discord” achievement? 

Eh, I have like 3 minutes on Zen, no.

32. What was the first achievement you got? 

Aside from that basic “Play a game with a friend” or “Reach level 10″ bullshit, it was Reaper’s cute spray.

33. Did you get the “Not A Scratch,” achievement on Junkenstein’s Revenge? 

Yes, and I’m proud of it. I also have the Hard mode achievement. In fact, I have all Halloween achievements.

34. What has been the hardest achievement to get for you? 

Mh, Junkenstein’s Revenge “Held The Door” (Hard mode). I think it took me 4 hours of playing nothing but hard mode??

35. What’s your current SR score in Competitive Mode? 1521, don’t ask.

36. What the highest you’ve been in Competitive? 1956.

37. What’s the most amount of placement matches you’ve won? Nine.

38. How many gold guns do you have? Zero.

39. Which was the first gold gun you got? Are you mocking me?

40. Whose gold gun do you currently want? D.Va’s. After that I might go for Ana’s Biotic Rifle or a golden Widow rifle.

41. What role do you usually play in Competitive? Tank or support.

42. If you don’t play Competitive, why not? N/A

43. What kind of theme event would you like to see in the future? DOOMFIST.

44. What type of character would you like to see in the future? DOOMFIST. 

45. Who needs more (or better) skins in the future? 

Hanzo, Widowmaker. Give my sniper babes a bit of love. And Reaper.

46. What country would you like a new character to come from? Austria or Italy.

47. Favorite voice line? 

Sorted by character (mains only)

[Reaper]“I’ll see you in hell.”

[D.Va] “I get the feeling you’re not taking me seriously.”

[Ana] “More lost than the moon in winter.”

[Lucio] “Have some Lucio-oh’s!” and “Boop!”

[Mercy] “Questionable judgement.”

[Mei] “I’m going to have to science the heck out of this.”

[WM] “Your emotions make you vulnerable.”

[Hanzo] “I choose you, spirit dragon.”

48. Favorite player icon? uuuuuh, The Reaper.

49. Favorite emote? Most dance emotes, SHRUG, and FINGER GUNS

50. Favorite spray? any cute spray I have

51.Favorite victory pose? *shrug* ahahahah… ha

52. Favorite highlight intro? Selfie, Death Blossom, Ssh

53. Characters you ship the most? Bunnyribbit (Lúcio x D.Va)

54. Characters you ship the least? Shimadacest

55. Characters you wish had more in-game interactions? 

D.Va/Lúcio, Orisa/Bastion, Widow/Hanzo

56. Character you wish had a comic about? uhh, every character deserves a comic.

57. Favorite comic released? Uprising, Reflections.

58. Favorite short released? The Last Bastion.

59. Favorite new character released? Ana.

60. Overwatch, Blackwatch, or Talon? Blackwatch or Talon, tbh. 

61. Pro-Omnic or anti-Omnic? Pro!

62. Favorite character that isn’t a playable one? (Ex: Emily, Brigitte, Gerard, Efi, etc.)

Emily! Lenily is just so pure and I need more!

63. Character change (nerf, boost, work around) that you liked the most? 

Lúcio and Bastion 2.0

64. Character change (nerf, boost, work around) you liked the least? Ana’s nerfs tbh

65. Best ultimate? 

Every ultimates has its uses! My favorites are Resurrection, Death Blossom and Self Destruct though.

66. Worst ultimate? Infra-Sight. It’s not bad, just not my favorite.

67. Most kills in game? 53.

68. Most heals in game? um,, i dont remember. 

69. What character do you think needs a nerf? Sym’s beam range.

70. What character do you think needs a buff? Currently I’m satisfied with most heroes.

71. Have you ever rage quit in the middle of a game? 

Unfortunately, yes. Not in comp though.

72. What’s the fastest you’ve won a game? 2:03

73. What’s the fastest you’ve lost a game? around the same as won

74. Your best Overwatch-related story? 

Hmm, I’ll never forget how my boyfriend went Symmetra on Hollywood Defense and put down his last teleporter right in front of the very first enemy spawn and we basically just sat there waiting for some poor souls to walk through it. A Zarya and Genji happened to do so and were greeted by a Sym sitting on a stool and me as a dancing Sombra. It was great.

75. Weirdest thing that happened to you on Overwatch? 

A friend and I encountered a guy who called me a cunt for killing him in a match and who insisted that my friend would add him as a battlenet friend. That guy proceeded to call me “Black Jerome” (before he learned that I’m female) and “White Jessica” (after he had learned I’m a female).

76. Platform you play on? PC.

77. Do you stream? Wish I could, but my PC is shit.

78. Do you normally play solo or with friends? 

Normally, I play with my boyfriend, otherwise I play solo.

79. Have you made any friends because of Overwatch? 

In fact, I met all of my current friends thanks to OW and a little AU called Retailwatch.

80. Have you cosplayed a character from Overwatch? Sadly, no.

81. Have you ever wrote fan fiction about Overwatch? Yes.

82. What’s the lowest you’ve been in Competitive? 1100.

83. In “All Brawls,” if you get “Charge!” do you play Reinhardt or do you pick the Lucio role? Lúcio.

84. In “All Brawls,” if you get “One Shot, One Kill,” do you play Ana, Hanzo, or Widowmaker? Idc.

85. In “All Brawls,” if you get “This is Ilios,” do you pick Lucio or Roadhog?

Lúcio.

86. Team Genji or Team Hanzo? Team Hanzo.

87. Be honest! Do you usually get on the payload? I think I do???

88. Does your team? Nope.

89. What’s the longest session of Overwatch you’ve played? Friday 11pm - Saturday 6pm

90. No Limits, Mystery Heroes, or Total Mayhem? Total Mayhem.

91.Most cosmetics you have for one character? 73 for both Reaper and D.Va

92. Least cosmetics you have for one character? 20+ (Orisa)

93. Have you ever made your own custom game? No.

94. Best D.Va skin? Cruiser (event), Scavenger (normal)

95. Best Mercy skin? Witch (event), Imp (normal)

96. Best Tracer skin? Graffiti (event), Ultraviolet (normal)

97. Zarya’s Industrial and Cybergoth skins: yes, no, or HELL NO? 

honestly, yes, they’re my favorite Zarya skins.

98. Do you want more animal character, robot characters, or human characters? 

I’d love to see more robot characters!! But to be frank, I just want more characters LMAO

99. Is there are character you’d get rid of completely? 

Not really, they’re all precious in their own ways.

100. What do you think Sombra’s real name is? obvs something Spanish, idk

are you happy now, ken? this took me an hour to answer

[thewanderingkru]

Things that I did for Love (When in Bali)

Have you ever experience being so broken that you unthinkably traveled two hours just to see your best friends and ask for help because you were so broken after a failed relationship, and then, your best friends, just conspired with you, then you drink too much, and you do something stupid (drunk texting the exes and danced the night away with a loud music while the neighbors are sleeping), and you just wanna curl up into a ball and die! No, wait. of course, not die! Definitely, not yet. Of course, we have our own time to die, not just this moment, just because we are heart broken. Hello?! Of course, there’s more to life, and more to enjoy about life.

(My kind of cake facing the Indian ocean at Uluwatu, Bali)

It was during that time then when I arrived from my best friend’s place, after reading the novel few days back, we watched the film, with the same title, Eat, Pray, Love. Although we already saw the film years ago, we’ve decided to just re-watch it over a fried chicken in KFC with soju and thai whisky, a typical sleep-over, perhaps.

While we were on our tipsy level, I’ve decided I wanted to go to Bali, Indonesia, for personal reason and of course, inspired while watching the film. And without any hesitation, I booked a flight, for somehow, in hope to find love (not in a romantic kind of perspective at that moment, of course!). Also, since Italy and India are a bit far from Bangkok. So, I’m skipping them. Thus, I was not in the mood to Eat and Pray then, I’ve decided, to go on the last stage of the novel... Love. Well, the character, unexpectedly and eventually, found her love in Bali. Fast forwarding the time, last April of this year. I went to Bali for a 10-day trip!

(Getting lost at paradise on my way to Padang-Padang beach)

In this travel blog episode, I will share my insights about my journey in solo traveling, learning to love again (in a way to find myself, again), and of course, the things that I did for love! After all, it’s all about love.

Special mention to the people involved in this journey: Sist Valerie, Sist Jennica, Sist Dodo, Mommy Brenda (My Thailand family), and Miss Elizabeth Gilbert, the author of Eat Pray Love, for the inspiration to make this journey happen. 

And of course, to my Indonesian friends... Willy, Reeree, Michael, and Nicolas who welcomed me wholeheartedly in the land of Gods... Bali, Indonesia. Also, Jessica and Ilaria, my Swiss girl friends that I met in Bali. You will always be in my heart!

Bali, Indonesia or the Island of the Gods, known for its beautiful and pristine beaches, marveling waterfalls, surfing jaunts, and of course, its traditional and unique Hindu-Balinese culture.

As for this personal journey, I’ve had few things that I did (for love, of course) in Bali!

REFLECT  

Big word as it seems, but one of the reasons why I went to Bali, aside from being inspired by the novel, and got really brokenhearted because of a certain love affair, was to reflect about my life. It was a time for me to just reflect and rekindle of what I had gained and lost along the way. As I look back from my old self, I asked about... “Is my life worth living for? Was I a good person? to myself? to others? Did I do something great for the benefit of others?, etc.” Some of the life questions among the many, I’ve decided to pause, in a way, of what I do in every day living, and just reflect. Reflect on things as to what am I capable of, what I can give and service to others, what I can offer and live my life on my own. Perhaps, on those times, I’ve realized how important it is to just pause for a moment, from this crazy world. In this way, the least, for some, perhaps, but at most, was one of the things that I did for love, not just for others, but for my self. I just gave in. I just didn’t think of anything about work life, love life, and just reflect on the breeze of my journey. Letting things flow.

Going back before this trip, it was supposedly a best friends trip, but it turns out plans have changed due to inevitable circumstances, which ended up a solo-traveling trip. Although, I wasn’t really and literally alone during the entirety of my trip, as I was able to meet friends along the way. Perhaps, an innate perks of being a teacher. After all, I was never alone.

(Reflecting my journey of life at Tirtha Empul Temple, Ubud)

RECOVER

(Lunch at a Warung place in Kuta before heading to Uluwatu)

On a personal perspective, I think, part of healing yourself, not just from the physical, mental, spiritual, but as well as, emotional pain, is to recover yourself. Thus, in recovering the self, what I did then was just to let things make the days worth the count. Every time I travel, I don’t really have an exact itinerary but of course when I visit to new or unfamiliar places, I always make it to a point, that I will have a day going to touristy places, at least. However, there will always be inevitable circumstance, just like the weather is not cooperating, or the tour is accidentally full, or for many unfathomable circumstances, I just make it to a point, that I will not stress over things that I cannot control.  After all, I’m a tourist, and I can do whatever I want to do. In most times, also, whenever I travel, if the plans that I want to do doesn’t go its way, I prefer to just going to chill places, like bars or cafes, or undiscovered places, but of course, with safety precautions. 

It’s August now, although the memories of last April this year is still vivid while I was in Bali. Perhaps, it was one of the magical journeys I had yet. Magical in a way that every single day in Bali, there’s always something new to discover, something that surprised me as I go through day to day. There was this day, while I was in Ubud, after my day tour, I went to a local market and just let myself get lost, went souvenir for shopping, but after a while, I’ve realized that my phone’s battery was about to drain, as I was planning to go home, the rain poured, but luckily, I found a cafe, and they just let me charge my phone. Waited for an hour for the rain to stop, and just took the time to listen to the rain. It was definitely my moment of Dolce Far Niente, my sweetness of doing nothing. It was a moment of just not thinking about the future, it’s like, come what may, as they say. Perhaps, the most magical I had yet. Perhaps, this is what Bali is all about for me, in one moment, I was at the beach, then to temples, then, to mountains, in the most unexpected moments.

True enough, time does help, in recovering from the pain. But of course, pain doesn’t just get away that fast. I needed the time for myself, to enjoy myself without expecting anything from anyone.

(Sending peace on a hot afternoon at Uluwatu Temple, Bali)

REWARD 

(A little love affair while in Bali, why not?! Cheers to Martinis night! As they say, last night were just rumours, and everything else was true. At Rumours! Bar, Kuta)

After working for two years now in the land of smiles, I’ve learned to reward myself with great food and drinks. To me, I think, part of doing things for love is to reward yourself with great food, regardless of the price. But, of course, I made sure that the food or drinks that I buy fits within my budget. If you want to be extravagant, that’s for you to decide. On a personal note, as long as it makes you happy, and you are contented with it, then go for it. Whatever it is, GO FOR WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY!

As I have always shared in my previous blog posts, I reward my self with traveling, too. As it is my own outlet from this crazy world that we live. Traveling is my personal luxury. Although, it’s a privilege and of course, an opportunity, to learn and discover something new, but some privileges needs hard work, too. So, if you’re an aspiring traveler, with less cash, try to work hard. Save money! Unless of course, someone will give you a treasure, then you are a lucky person.

(Selfie at Tegalalang Rice Terraces, Ubud)

And for many reasons and questions that I have in mind when I was in deep pain, I just had to stop the moment, or perhaps, pause at that time, and just let things flow. And so I was, I rewarded my self with self discovery on my own. Traveled to new and unknown places by my self, and enjoy every single bit of moments. 

Everything is still a process, though, for some reason, I will meet new people and environment, and perhaps, will have my own highs and lows, but regardless of it, it’s a learning process. Thus, everyday is a lesson learn. 

(Selfie with my Indonesian friend Willy... my ultimate and best tour guide in my Bali journey)

3 BIG R words that taught me in Bali. Words that I will never ever forget and I will always treasure. Thus, these are the things that I did for love in Bali. And so, I’d like to end this blog episode, from the novel that inspired me to go to Bali, Eat Pray Love...

DEVO FARMI LE OSSA

“I need to make my bones.”

I will not harbor unhealthy thoughts anymore.

8/23/17