#if only they werent written by clowns from hell

[constantvariations]

Blake hid her ears seemingly without any consequences, but I think it'd be far more interesting if constantly wrapping her ears in a bow cramped them or affected her hearing. It'd make her choice to pass as human more poignant, and her decision to embrace her faunus traits far more liberating and satisfying

It also makes me wonder how many faunus choose to pass despite the harm they're doing to their bodies and how faunus with traits that can't be hidden, like giant scorpion tails or bat wings, might feel about those than can pass easily

There's so little shown about faunus culture and intercommunity politics and average lives, and it never not makes me sad

[shhh-no-ones-home]

lion tamer izzy stradlin x reader

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a little break from motionless and def leppard lol. i havent written for izzy in a while but he baby so here you go, have something cute. i have two more lepp fics coming out in the next couple days though so enjoy 

she unedited lol sorry if there are mistakes

song: caffeine cold by fall out boy

Edit cause I forgot to add:

Tag list: @cynic-spirit

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"come on iz, youre last."

i sighed, grabbing his arm and pulling him out of the backseat of my car. i swung his arm over my shoulder and tried to distribute the weight but it wasnt really working. he was basically dead at this point, stumbling around as i walked us to the door. we had all gone out to celebrate the new album release and they had all drank a little too much. i of course was left as the designated driver per usual since i didnt really drink, nor did i usually mind. tonight however was a task, like herding kittens, each member getting side tracked at something new as i tried desperately to get them into their houses or hotel rooms and into their beds. Izzy of course was last, letting me stay with him while i was in town for the release party and start of the press tour.

"youre really good at this."

izzy complimented, a long string of words pouring out of his mouth as i unlocked the door and shoved his keys back in his jacket pocket.

"thanks iz, someones got to be or else you would be on the floor more often."

just as i was closing the door he moved forward without me and tripped, dropping straight to the ground. i sighed as he rolled over and laughed.

"like that."

i pointed out. he kept laughing as he sat up, taking the hand i offered to him. instead of getting up though he just pulled me down with him, me dropping to my knees with a loud thud. he giggled some more at the exasperated look on my face.

"now youre on the floor too."

he laughed out, poking his finger at me. i rolled my eyes and stood back up, walking around him, pushing my arms under his and lifting him to his feet.

"woah."

he said a little stunned that i had just dead lifted him off the floor.

"have you been working out?"

he questioned as i turned him and put his arm around my shoulders again.

"yeah, its called moving five drunk toddlers around."

he sent me a sleepy smile as we finally made it down the hall.

"that sounds like a lot of work."

he said matter of factly, dropping the bottle i didnt know he had onto the soft carpet of his bedroom floor.

"you have no idea."

i grumbled as i leaned into him and pushed him to the bed with my shoulder, watching him roll onto his side and his hand drop to his stomach.

"oop, nope, hold on."

he said standing quickly and dropping in front of the trash can by his nightstand. i looked to the ceiling as he threw up, cringing at it. i looked back down when he inhaled deeply and he was already on his way back to standing.

"okay sir, time to brush your teeth now."

he whined as i helped usher him to the bathroom.

"do i have to?"

he protsested as i squirted the toothpaste onto the brush and wet it, handing it to him.

"yes, if you dont i will."

he dropped his shoulder and stuck the brush in his mouth, moving it around and leaning in to look at himself in the mirror. as he pushed it around his gums he grinned widely at himself, the bubbles around his mouth making him look like a clown. i shook my head at him.

"dont forget your tongue."

i reminded and he turned to me to stick it out, closing his eyes and brushing down it.

"thank you."

i said, crossing my arms over my chest and he bent down and spit into the sink, holding his head under the faucet so he could rinse his mouth out. when he stood back up he sent me another sleepy smile, dropping the toothbrush onto the counter.

"now what?"

he asked like a giddy child. i placed my hand firmly at his back and pushed him back out into the room.

"now you go to bed."

i said a little hopeful. he pouted at me in return.

"aww but y/n i dont want to go to bed. the night is still young and so are we."

he said, plopping down on the side of the mattress.

"we'll still be young in the morning when you get up. in a pain and possibly hungover but young none the less."

he frowned at me as i moved to take the denim jacket off his arms.

"do i get to take your clothes off?"

he asked, wiggling his eye brows at me.

"no, now take your shirt off, i dont even want to know what it is you have down the front of you."

he looked down at it confused before shrugging and doing as told.

"anything else you want me to remove?"

he said reaching out for my hand and holding it, looking up at me intently.

"shoes, off."

i demanded and he smiled widely at me, kicking them off.

"pants too?"

he said seductively. i rolled my eyes.

"only if you dont want to wear jeans to bed but you had better have underwear of some kind on this time izzy stradlin or i swear to god."

he laughed before standing up and undoing his pants, and there it was, of course he wasnt wearing any. i groaned and turned around.

"oh come on y/n its not like you havent seen it before, you practically lived here for three months."

i shook my head and went to his dresser.

"i know that izzy but that doesnt mean you have to just have it out all the time."

i shook my head and grabbed him some underwear and pajama bottoms, tossing them his way. i didnt want to look but it was kind of hard to miss, he was standing fully nude now in the middle of his bedroom, hands on his hips in fully glory.

"get dressed."

i demanded, making him laugh again before doing as told. i crossed my arms over my chest as he fumbled around to get dressed, plopping back down onto the bed when he was done.

"better?"

i asked a little annoyed, walking to him and trying to tuck him in. getting him under the covers was more of a task than i thought it would be.

"wanna join?"

he asked, raising a brow and smirking at me.

"no thank you, i have my own bed in this house."

he grabbed my hand and pulled me forward. i caught myself before i could fall into him and was face to face now. he smelled like vodka and mint.

"please? itll help me sleep better knowing youre here."

he said, pouting. i sighed.

"fine, but im only doing this to make sure you dont vomit in your sleep and kill yourself."

he smiled widely before scooting over and letting me in, me kicking my shoes off first and readjusting the dress i had on. before i knew what was happening he was snuggled into my side, face pushing into my neck and arm around my waist. my eyes got wide as he got comfortable.

"iz?"

he hummed in response.

"what are you doing?"

he just shushed me. a minute later he was snoring softly and i was left there in the dimly lit room defeated.

°°°°°°°°°

when i woke up i could smell something burning, making me jolt upright. izzy wasnt in the bed next to me like he was last night and it was only ten thirty. i found that odd given that we didnt even go to bed till almost four. i stood quickly, flattening my dress down and making my way down the hall to the kitchen. i stood in the doorway dumbfounded at the sight in front of me. there was izzy, smoking a cigarette and cooking breakfast. bacon and pancakes by the smell of it.

"morning sunshine."

he said fairly chipper, taking a sip from his mug. i raised a brow, pushing my bra strap back up onto my shoulder.

"morning."

i said confused. i stood and watched him flip the pancakes.

"you just gonna stand there all morning or are you gonna come eat?"

he half laughed at me, looking up with light eyes.

"uh yeah, sure."

i said slowly, trudging to him and taking the plate he offered up.

"drink?"

he asked, picking up the second mug that was on the counter. i took it without think and went to the bar. as soon as i took a sip i cringe.

"what the hell is this izzy?!"

i asked setting the plate down.

"orange juice and vodka."

he said matter of factly and i just sighed in defeat. no wonder he was so happy. that asshole still had alcohol in his system and was just adding more.

"you are gonna feel like shit later."

i noted, walking to the sink and pouring it down the drain. he sent me a wicked smile and cheersed me before taking a drink.

"i promise its nothing but coffee for me after this."

i sent him a disapproving look.

"sure it is."

he finished stacking pancakes onto his plate and joined me at the counter, sitting in the bar stool beside me.

"so, how did you sleep?"

he asked, resting his leg against mine comfortably.

"fine."

i said shrugging. he sent me a weird.

"you were in bed with me and just slept fine?"

i laughed at him and shook my head, pouring syrup on top of my food.

"well it wasnt exactly fun. you were so drunk it was a task to even get you into pajamas, much like last time you werent wearing anything under your jeans which i dont appreciate."

i said sternly and he smiled to himself, nodding like he'd accomplished something.

"yeah i forgot about that."

he said proudly. i rolled my eyes, taking a bite.

"well youre wearing some now and thats what really matters."

i said and he laughed.

"no im not."

i looked up at him with wide eyes.

"when i got up to pee earlier i realized i was wearing them and took them off, fuck that."

i sighed deeply but didnt respond. i just shook my head and kept eating.

"do you like it?"

he asked and i raised a brow.

"breakfast i mean."

i nodded.

"yes its very good."

he smiled widely at me.

"great cause its my apology for last night."

i looked at him confused.

"i know im a handful when drunk, hell i know we all are. you always take care us though, so i guess its a thank you too."

i smiled at him.

"thanks izzy."

he leaned over and nudged me with his elbow.

"dont mention it."

[diamondcamefromhell]

Crazy witch

Jaskier x witch!Reader [non-romance]

Summary: Y/N is a witch, who after graduating Brotherhood, abandoned her post, not really enjoying serving royal clowns. This lead to her becoming friends with Yennefer, a witch of similar nature, as two of them go to look for Geralt, Yen’s love.

Warnings: Swearing

Word count:  2,033

A/N: I am posting three posts today, as the first two were just reuploads, as the tags werent working [hope they work now] but usually i probs will stick to one or two posts a day. i hope you enjoy this little fic i wrote, i have a lot of ideas, but timeless love is taking a lot of time, as i want to write ahead so i have something to post during my work days, but more one-offs are coming, maybe even some headcanons

requests are open & all feed back is appreciated [can be left anonymously on my ask page!]

“Yennefer, wait!” I say, rushing after my friend, who glances at me, not slowing down her pace.

“Y/N, go back.” She says coldly, as I finally catch up to her. I breathe heavily, still half-running. She now glares at me, stopping. “I said go back.”

“Yeah, how about no?” I say in between my breaths. Her violet eyes spark up, as she presses her lips. “Oh, let me come along. This town is mighty boring, and you know it too.”

“You are safer here.” I roll my eyes, as she sighs. “I don’t want to babysit you.”

“First of all, fuck you.” I say, jokingly pushing her, as she finally breaks a smile. “Secondly, I can take care of myself, Yen. And don’t worry, I wont steal Geralt.”

“You can have the Witcher for all I care.” She says, proudly, but I know she would break my knees if I dared to look at him wrong. She had love written all over her face.

“You said he travels with a friend too.” I grab her hand, and she doesn’t push me away. I know I’m getting on her good side. “You can have one as well.”

“You are better than Jaskier.” She says, nudging me. We begin to walk, and I know I am tagging along now.

“I am a witch,” I wink at Yen, who grins, “better than any bard.”

Yennefer never said she was going to look for Geralt. But I knew she was heading out for that. We were close friends, at the end of the day. While I didn’t go to brotherhood with her, I much like her, didn’t like serving royal clowns, and abandoned my duties. We ran into each other and quickly became friends.

But since I was younger than her, she was ever so protective. I was nowhere near as powerful as her, at the end of the day, I didn’t bear any elven blood, but I could take care of myself. She knew it too, but more often than not, she told me to stay back.

That’s why I never met Witcher with his bard. Even if she would talk about Geralt a lot. Maybe I will finally get to see them.

She decides it’s best to ride, so we take our horses, embarking on the adventure. A sense of excitement rushes over me, as we gallop out of town. The breeze is warm, as the sun is just rising. The day seems clear.

However it takes us a week to find them. She sees a horse, who seems like a normal mare to me, but Yen insists it’s Roach. More so the Roach. Tied next to a tavern that has a name so faded, I can’t make it out. We tie our horses as Yennefer looks at me.

“They can’t know we looked for them.” She hisses at me, as if that wasn’t obvious. I hear loud cheering from the inside, anxious to get it.

“Right. Let’s say we are looking for…” I try to think of something. “A place to sleep.”

“Sure.” She rolls her eyes, taking a deep breath. I like seeing her anxious, it reminds me she is not that different from me.

We open the door as the smell hits me. Ale. Strong, strong sent of ale. And blood. I frown, looking around to see a white-haired man, his hands covered in blood. He didn’t seem to care, drinking his ale, looking like he is ready to kill again. His yellow eyes focused on the bar top. I raise my eyebrows, recognizing the White Wolf.

“That’s Geralt?” I grab Yen by her dress, as she glares at me. She sensed that my tone wasn’t exactly impressed.

“And Jaskier.” She nods towards the man playing a lute.

I didn’t even see him at first, even in his obnoxiously bright green outfit. He’s stringing the instrument, prancing around like a little girl. The men seem to find it entertaining. His voice, however, does sound good.

The bard seems to notice us, as he takes one glance at Yen, and his music stops in a heartbeat. That makes the witcher look at us too, as his face paints with surprise.

“Geralt.” Yennefer breaks the sudden silence. She manages to sound unimpressed. I try not to grin, knowing we literally searched for him. “Long time no see.”

“Yen.” His husky voice sends a wave of whispers in the tavern.

“Oh hey, it’s the witch.” Jaskier grunts, walking towards his friend. I silently follow Yennefer. Bard’s eyes go from her, to me. “Two of them.”

“Jaskier.” I grin. “Heard so much about you.”

“What brings you here?” I turn to Geralt, who directed this question to Yen. His gaze is literally glued to her.

“Just stopping by for some drinks.”  She sits down as Jaskier and I awkwardly stand by our friends. “Ladies need to rest.”

“Hm.” Witcher smirks, and part of me thinks he knows we went out of our way to find them. “You got a friend.”

“Y/N.” I introduce myself, as Geralt nods.

“Also a sorceress?” He asks and I see Jaskier roll his eyes.

“Well noticed, witcher.” I tease, looking at the bard now, who looks really annoyed. When our eyes meet, however, his expression softens. I know what Yennefer did to him, so I understand his resentment. But it’s been years. “See you made up with the bard?”

“Hard to get rid of him.” Geralt says, his eyes back at Yen, who was silently watching this exchange. I see her glance at me.

She wants me to leave them two alone. She also glances at the bard. Make him leave them alone too. I give her a slight glare, however nodding. I know how much it means to her, to be with Geralt after all this time. They’ve met a few times since the dragon fight, but she always played her cold and angsty self. But she missed him, dearly.

I look at the bard, smiling.

“May I ask you to continue playing? I didn’t get to hear enough of your music, Jaskier.” He presses his lips tightly together, squinting. I know he’s trying to assess me, see what my intentions are. “Please, entertain the lady.”

My slight flirt seems to work, as Jaskier picks up his lute, picking up a tune. Mere seconds later he is prancing around again, shooting a glare at Yen and Geralt from time to time. I smile at them both, making my way to a table away from them. I keep giving Jaskier kind and flirtatious smiles, and slowly but surely, even the angry glares stop.

After a couple of songs, he sits down in front of me. I can tell he’s eager to ask something, but seems to struggle to find the right words.

“You can ask me whatever you want.” I encourage, as he seems slightly confused and worried. “I won’t hurt you. I am not trying to regain… anything. Unlike Yen, years ago.”

“You know the story.” He says, bitterly. I smirk.

“She’s my friend, Jaskier. I know all of her stories.” I lean back, keeping my eyes on the bard. “She did forget to mention you were cute.”

“She what?” It seems my words threw him off, as he stutters ever so slightly. So cute.

“Yeah, you know. When she told me about you, she didn’t exactly describe you as cute.” I continue teasing, making Jaskier flutter ever more. There is a blush to his face. “Or that you’re talented.”

“I don’t think she got to see that.” He manages to say, as I take a moment to respond, allowing him to calm down.

“She missed out.” I look at her, just to catch the pair look at each other dreamily. “She’s a good person, Jaskier. I know she hurt you, but desperate people do crazy shit like that.”

“She’s crazy.” I give him a quick glare.

“She was crazy.” I lean on the table, getting closer to him. “Imagine having a choice like that getting ripped from you. To hell, maybe she would never even want to be a mom, if she could bear children. But the pure thing that she had no choice.”

“Neither do you, but I don’t see you trying to eat a djin.” I squint, grabbing Jaskier’s arm. It makes him flinch.

“Doesn’t mean I’m not crazy.” I say, tightening my grip on his arm. Bard glares at me. I let go, leaning back again. “You’re a man. You can’t understand.”

“Yeah, Y/N, blame it on me, not her.” I glare at him again, but then I try to see it from his perspective. She did nearly kill him. Trapped him. I take a couple of deep breaths, relaxing.

“Point is. She was crazy back then, I can’t deny her. In many ways, she still is.” My voice softens, as I look at my friend. “But your friend, Geralt, truly makes her better. Makes her more complete. They both are… kids of experiments, if you will. They need each other. Your hate towards her only makes things worse between you and Geralt.”

“As if you’d know.” I look at the bard, offering him a sad smile.

“I know. I almost lost her when I was resentful and angry at Geralt.” I chuckle to myself. “When she came to me and told me what witcher did to her, I was about to go and get his head on a spike. I hated him. Until I saw just how much she loved him. And she’s my friend, my best friend.”

“So you just forgave him?” He asks, lifting his eyebrows. I shrug.

“It wasn’t easy, but I had no choice.” I reach out through the table, this time gently wrapping my fingers around his hand. “I know she hurt you personally, but for Geralt’s sake, it’s best you forgive this crazy witch.”

“Did she ask you to tell me this?” I laugh, leaning back. My hand, however, stays on his.

“I don’t think she really cares what you think about her.” I say, as Jaskier also finally smirks.

“Then why are you telling me this?” I wink at him, as a slight blush comes back to his cheeks.

“I don’t want you to think all of the witches are the same.” Then, I sigh. “Besides, there may be a day where two of them actually get together. Then us, their two companions, will also be together. I want things to be okay then. I want us to be friends.”

“You want to be friends with me?” He doesn’t sound too impressed and I pretend to be hurt, putting hand to my chest. “I didn’t mean it that way.”

“Well, whatever you mean, I do.” Our eyes lock, and suddenly me having my hand on his feels a little too intimate, so I pull away. “One day we all will have to be one big family.”

“Not looking forward to that.” He jokes and I also let out a laugh. His eyes light up as I see him fully relax. His shoulders drop, and he rests his elbows on the table, his face on his hands. He stares at me. “It’s not fair that all witches are so pretty.”

“It comes at a price.” I smirk, flattered by his compliment. I copy him, resting my hand in my palms too. “You aren’t as bad as she made you out to be.”

“For a crazy witch, Y/N, you don’t seem too bad yourself.” We both giggle. “Thank you. For trying to talk some sense into me.”

“We will get to see each other often, something tells me.” I say as we both steal a glance, as Yen and Geralt leave the tavern. “So I am doing myself a favour.”

“You know what, Y/N?” Jaskier sprints to his feet, winking at me. “I hope we get to be friends. Who knows, maybe it will lead to great things.”

“Who knows.” I whisper, watching him spring the instrument to life.

He picks up a tune, and I wonder how Yen ever managed to hurt such a pure soul. I stand up, going for a dance, as the night is just beginning.