#if this posts while i'm busy: yes the link will take you to a draft

[trensu]

Heyyy, long time no post, huh? I'm dropping another chunk of stasis in darkness for you guys! And I wanted to remind people that these posts are basically rough drafts. The final product will hopefully be more polished but in the meantime please enjoy!

--

After Steve convinced the old man he meant no harm, he’d been allowed into the home. The Lord of Night hadn’t been super specific about the purpose of his quest, only that Steve had to bring him to Wayne Munson. Steve discreetly looked around the home as he entered it. The old man was obviously unwell and had been for a while, given the state of the house. Steve had the creeping suspicion that the time limit the Lord of Night mentioned was linked to the man’s health.

“What are you doing?” Wayne Munson asked suspiciously once he had returned to the kitchen with Steve in tow. He had sat heavily in one of the old worn chairs at the table but Steve, instead of joining him, began to clear the table on impulse. Steve halted awkwardly.

“This ain’t your house, boy,” Wayne said with a scowl. “I can take care of myself.”

Steve did his very best not to look at the scattered mess in the kitchen or living room. It was not the mess of a dirty, careless person. It was the mess of someone tired and overwhelmed. It was the mess of someone in pain who was too proud to ask for help. Steve took in Wayne Munson’s watery eyes, wan skin, and the clothes that were plain things, tattered from use, but mostly stain-free. Steve quickly added all these details and came up with a plan of attack. He set the plate back down.

“Yes, sir,” Steve agreed easily. “I’m aware, but I serve the Lord of Night and he sent me to you specifically. In our god’s name, I must assist you in any way I can.” 

Wayne’s expression wavered. Steve pushed again. He lowered his gaze in a slightly embarrassed manner, letting a note of uncertainty color his words.

“I don’t know what else to do until nightfall,” Steve said. He rubbed the back of his neck bashfully. “I don’t want him to think I’ve neglected you.”

“What happens at nightfall?” Wayne asked.

“It’s when the Lord of Night wants to see you,” Steve said. Wayne blinked.

“Me? He wants to see me?”

“Yeah! So, if you could please let me,” Steve said, putting on his most endearing smile, “I’d like to take care of you until then. You know, make sure you’re comfortable and get the place ready for a divine visit. If it’s not too much trouble, sir?”

“Uh, no, that should be fine. Is…is there anything I should do?” Wayne asked dazedly.

“Not really. All I know is he really wants to see you tonight. Oh, maybe you’d like to rest until then? A nap, so you’re not drowsy when he arrives.”

Wayne nods, still in shock at the news. He didn’t protest when Steve helped him out of the chair and let him lean his weight on him as they navigated to the bedroom. Wayne sat on the bed as Steve drew curtains closed over the room’s single window. The curtains were thick enough to dim the sun to a pale yellow glow.

“I didn’t know there was anyone else who followed him,” Wayne said as he lay himself down over the covers.

"He told me you’re the only one left, besides me,” Steve told him. “And I only discovered him a month ago by accident.”

“By accident?” Wayne asked with a wry grin.

“My friends found a holy text when we were researching other gods. It was the only one of his in the city's whole library. Then we had a hell of a time trying to find his last shrine. When I finally found it, it was falling apart. He’s been forgotten,” Steve said. At Wayne’s troubled expression, he hurriedly added, “But now that I’ve pledged myself to him, I’m going to make sure people know him again.”

Wayne did not appear convinced, but he finally settled to rest after Steve promised to wake him before sunset. Steve took the opportunity to clean. He hadn’t been lying to Wayne when he said he wasn’t sure what to do until nightfall. It didn’t help that Steve also liked to keep himself busy. Being idle made him itch.

The house was small. Aside from Wayne's bedroom, there was only a cramped kitchen and a modest living room. From the small window of the backdoor, Steve could see a short, worn path to an outhouse. 

Given the size of the house, though there was a mess everywhere, it didn’t take Steve very long to clean it all. When it was done to his satisfaction, there were still a few hours left until sunset so he wandered outside. The porch railing was covered with broad green leaves from intertwining vines but Steve left that alone when he saw the small garden nearby. It was full of ripe vegetables that Steve assumed Wayne had been unable to pick himself given his condition. 

By the time Steve had picked the vegetables, pulled the weeds, and watered the garden, the sun hung low in the horizon. He cleaned himself up the best he could in the kitchen sink and took one of the chairs from the table to the bedroom before waking Wayne.

He told Wayne what he accomplished during Wayne’s repose. While Wayne expressed his gratitude politely enough, it was still apparent to Steve that the old man was irritated at having needed the assistance at all. To keep Wayne from dwelling on that, as well as to satisfy his own curiosity, he coaxed Wayne into conversation.

“Can I ask, uh, how you–I mean, how did you know? How did you know the Lord of Night existed?"

Wayne laughed at Steve’s befuddled tone. The laugh turned into a coughing fit. Steve quickly fetched him a glass of water and put it on the bedside table after Wayne had a drink.

“My family’s a bunch of no-good criminals,” Wayne croaked. “Were. It’s only me now. But before, each generation of Munsons took it up. Like a family tradition.”

“Criminals?” asked Steve cautiously. 

“Thieves and con men. Some ladies of the night, if you catch my meaning. They knew of our Lord of Night and passed the knowledge down,” Wayne sighed sadly. “The life of a criminal ain’t what you call stable. We lost bits and pieces of him with every generation. Like his name. No one’s known his name for a very long time. Is that why he wants to see me? Did I fail him?”

There was genuine distress in Wayne’s question so Steve hid his disappointment. He had hoped the Lord of Night’s last worshiper would at least have a clue about where to start the search for the lost name. He focused, instead, on reassuring the old man.

“I don’t know why he wants to see you, but he wasn’t angry when he sent me. He sounded excited.”

“I suppose that’s a good thing,” Wayne said uncertainly.

“Definitely,” Steve assured. Before Wayne could sink into his gloom again, Steve said, “I know you said you’ve lost some knowledge, but do you know if the Lord of Night has any prayers? I haven’t…I mean, I’ve tried to worship him but I don’t think I can do it right without a prayer. I’m kind of new at all this.”

“My ma used to say our Lord didn’t have patience for formalities,” Wayne said, brow furrowed. “They bored him so he only had a few official prayers. There was one where we’d thank him for any dreams he gave us. I think there was another one that asked for dreams to bring inspiration or something of that sort. I don’t really remember those–ma would be boxing my ears for that if she was still around. I remember the one for protection, since we used that one a lot. It goes: 

Lord of Night,  Guide us through all phases Of the moon; May the dark be free of All dangers, While your many stars burn.

Wayne’s voice cracked into a coughing fit near the end. Steve hurriedly offered him water again once Wayne had caught it again. Wayne took a few mouthfuls and repeated the prayer again so Steve could learn it. It took a few tries, but Wayne was patient and by the end of it, Steve had it memorized.

“Is that the only one?” Steve asked, hoping to learn more. Wayne grimaced.

“It’s the only one I really remember. The Lord of Night prefers stories. My ma would tell us the best bedtime stories. Said they were for our god as much as for me and my brother. I was never good at coming up with new stories, so I retell my favorites or tell our Lord about my days and give him a little offering.”

Steve wasn't much of a story teller. He supposed he could do as Wayne did until he met up with Robin and Dustin again. They constantly chatted about books they’d read. Steve couldn’t help but notice how, once again, his friends seemed a better fit for his god than he was; all Steve could give his god was his shield and sword. It was discouraging. He had to figure out a way to make up for it somehow.

“What kind of offerings?” Steve asked. 

He wanted to give his god more; he wanted to give the Lord of Night something he’d actually like. It wasn’t lost on him that the Lord of Night took him under duress. Who else would’ve been able to complete this quest? 

“When I was young, it was horse shoes,” Wayne chuckled at Steve’s confusion. “Thieves are supposed to give him a part of their loot but my ma and pa were horse thieves. They got horseshoes and would leave one for each horse they stole, tied with a braid made of the stolen horse’s mane.”

“You stole horses?” Steve said, unable to fight off a grin as he remembered the conversation he had with the Lord of Night about it.

“Me and my brother, before he passed,” Wayne said with a weak nod. 

The sky had darkened by now. Steve pulled the stone out of his satchel. He carefully unwrapped it from the cloth and set it gently on the bedside table next to the glass of water. Wayne eyed it quizzically.

“It’s from his shrine,” Steve explained. Without any further fussing, Steve stood up and went to the door.

“Don’t leave,” the Lord of Night said. 

Steve turned to see the god, hooded in his cloak of constellations, sitting in the chair Steve had vacated. The Lord of Night had not even glanced Steve's way when he spoke to him. The god’s attention rested solely on Wayne.

Steve hadn’t seen or spoken to the Lord of Night since he’d been accepted as his holy warrior. The god had needed to conserve his energy, he explained to Steve, so that Steve could complete his quest. The god’s cloak was as mesmerizing as the first time. However, this far from the shrine, the god did not look as solid as he had during the nights he spent with Steve. 

“I wanted to give you two some privacy,” Steve said softly. 

“I think Wayne would appreciate not being alone,” the Lord of Night said. 

The old man stared at the god unblinkingly. Wayne’s expression was one of awe and fear, so Steve did as he was told and stayed in the room though he chose to lean on the wall furthest from the pair. He was still close to them in the tiny bedroom, but it provided the pretense of privacy.

“My Lord?” Wayne’s voice was barely audible.

“Hello. I’ve wanted to meet you for years,” the god said.

[prettyoddfever]

Tumblr glitched while I was trying to answer this, but thankfully I took a screenshot of everything before refreshing because I legit cannot find that draft or question anywhere now, sorry. So here we go again...

I'll link to the post here. (btw any annoyance that might seep into my tone in my recent answers is NOT directed at the actual people asking... y'all are lovely). So that post is done in a very similar tone to the Ryden primers that the pre-split fandom posted, but I'm getting the sense that this is very very different... like that person seems to actually believe the content that they're posting is straight up facts (and even if they don't, the fact that you're referring to it as "infamous" probably implies that other people are at least treating it as real facts, so I'm still going to address it like the tone is serious). Here's an explanation of how the majority of the fandom used to view Ryden.

A lot of their pictures no longer show up, so I'm going to leave a wayback screen recording here for reference:

I'll just comment as I go through it if I have something to add:

I suppose that the tone of someone's comments is open to interpretation, so idc as much about whether those are misread or not.

That supposed AIM convo was shared as a myspace bulletin by Brent's brother Blake during the summer 2006 season when he was trying to stir up shit and was busy posting other inaccurate info too. I'm just saying to take it with a grain of salt. 

Ryan’s lj post on 9/27/05 was about the release of AFYCSO that day. He talked a lot in interviews that season about how it was weird for him to see so many fans singing his lyrics back to him.

uhh most of the pictures that this person lists "from this era" of 2004/2005 are actually from 2006. so they definitely know what they're talking about here lol.

they list one of Ryan's livejournal posts and then say "I'm not sure of the exact date, but I know it was some time in 06." It was from June 24, 2006. 

lol Audrey.

re: the Myrtle Beach theory

why is the part where Ryan called Brendon a golden god in late 2006 any different than when Brendon said this about Spencer that same season?

re: the 2006 mic-sharing & stage gay

fans would positively scream when Ryan & Brendon approached each other, especially in the last half of 2006. this moment in Munich in October 2006 seemed no different... the guys absolutely knew what they were doing.

the VMA performance just seemed like Ryan was still using Brendon as a safe space to look at so he wouldn't stare at his feet or guitar, but that is still very much something you could turn into a Ryden thing so carry on haha.

about the Rolling Stone interview

I'm laughing at the "squint a little harder" comment about finding Ryden content in 2008. That is so accurate. 

re: Dylan's myspace (yes, Keltie ran a myspace for Hobo that anyone could grab pics from).

Ryan absolutely sounds like he's saying dude... also that would be normal.

the picture of the bracelet is normal

I'm just going to link to this post since it addresses many similar inaccurate points about early 2009.

I was about to side eye them so hard for posting the Lana Jade letter as real, but at least they added that she made multiple posts explaining that it wasn't her. And yes, obviously Brendon's best friend was Shane (not Ryan).

omg Ryan's tattoos are not about Brendon. Those are Tom Waits lyrics. Ryan was good friends with Thomas Dutton. About a year before getting the tattoos, Ryan was hanging out with him on tour in the UK and later told Kerrang that “a friend of mine in Forgive Durden turned me on to Tom Waits when we were in the UK… I’ve been listening to him ever since. His voice is so rough and dark. I’d never really heard anything like that.”

the sharing beds idea was misunderstood in the Billboard interview... all 4 guys slept on bunkbeds in the same room when they were recording AFYCSO. That's what Brendon's referring to.

re: the Bishop Gorman tshirt… Ryan was hardly that size in high school. But Brent went to Bishop Gorman too (and so did Paulina, who was also friends with Brendon). Brendon did borrow some of Brent’s stuff in 2004/2005 (like money for food while they were first touring). Just saying… it's def interesting, but it’s not an automatic Ryden connection.

I didn't read Spencer's tone in that out.com interview the same way... there's some relevant bits in this post.

about the red shirt

here's my general tag for Ryden stuff

[pumpkin-spike18]

✨Weekly Progress 2024 #22-23✨

#22 would've come out last week if I didn't forget my planner when I packed for traveling.

Weekly Progress #22

Updated tumblr tags

Thumbnailed, sketched, refined sketched, lined, and finished [fan project #2] illustration

Submitted forms for [fan projects]

Made work plans for P-M and SFB

Basic o2a2 outline

Fixed SYVNH bug

Generated sprite pieces for P-M and SFB

Fleshed out o2a2 outline

Weekly Progress #23

Coded P-M sprites

Updated itch page images

Made new BWBOK schedule

Copied P-M script into Renpy

Scripted P-M s1-s3

Answered BWBOK comments

Drafted [fan project] posts

Designed P-M GUI

Wrote 100+ words for SFB

A Sky of Falling Birds

As I mentioned before, SFB is my next big project, which I plan to submit for BAF VN Jam. That's... 7/1.

It's okay, I still got... 20 days.

There's a lot of work left to do and not much to show off at the moment.

Pre-Make

Or Pre 🕰 Make (P-M), I haven't completely decided on how to advertise the title yet. It's a "small" project that I came up with back in 2020 and still haven't finished. I thought I'd dedicate a few days' time to it and see how far I'd get. There's still a bit of work to do, but much of it is done.

The art's quite old and the story telling was the original test I did for SYVNH's looping mechanism so it won't be anything novel. The screenshot above is from this game. If he looks a little familiar, don't worry. That's not your imagination.

The Beauty Which Only Beast Knows

My other big focus for this month, we're hoping to finish it for Otome Jam... which also ends 7/1. I've a loose schedule for achieving that, but the team's health is the top priority so we're playing it by ear. It may take a little longer to finish up.

Other!

O2A2: Because I couldn't sit still!! I started planning for O2A2 2024! It'll be another entry into the kill series, but I hope to include some point and click elements to it. Last year I finished 9 VN projects, something I don't want to do again-- but!! I don't want to only finish one project this year!! I've been skipping and fomo-ing all the jams in the first half of the year. Well, no more! I'm going to get some work done this summer!!

Fan Projects: I don't think I need to keep my involvement in fan projects a secret anymore! I took part in the D. Gray Man 20th Anniversary Project, which we actually started work on late last year! I also took part in the Narumitsu Big Bang 2024 event, which... also started work late last year 🤔 Huh, I was really busy back then. Maybe that'll teach me to sign up for too many fan events... (😂 no ofc not!)

Misc: I finished some tedious updating work that I promised myself to do a while back. I'll admit I make my blog easiest for me to navigate, first and foremost. But if there's something that's bothering you, or have an idea to make navigation better, feel free to let me know through an ask! I also updated all of my itch io pages' images. They were originally linked from discord, which changed its policy and broke all direct image links. Thankfully, I had everything labeled in a private server so I could easily retrieve and reupload to update the pages. Yes, I should've done that long ago. And I'm sorry I just... didn't;;

[pebblysand]

le beurre, l'argent du beurre, et le cul de la crémière

i had no idea i was going to wake up this morning and today would be the day i finally open my big mouth about this, but here we are. in case you haven't been following, there has been a diversity "protest" against AO3 as of late, following racist comments made by one of their directors against chinese users, which has led to yet another broader conversation about diversity on AO3.

this conversation has been going on for years. i'm not going to go through it all again - if you're curious, you can google it. and to clarify, i am not making this post to prove that racism exists and that lack of diversity (either through conscious or unconscious bias) is an issue in our society at large, and on AO3 in particular. i think we all have pretty much established this fact and if you're one of those people who believe in "alternative facts", i sadly cannot do anything for you.

what i will however say, looking at this post and at the comments underneath (it seems to be a mixed bag, in terms of reactions, some positive and some negative), is that i believe a lot of people who use the internet daily do not seem to understand how it functions. because, is the post partly bullshit? yes, of course. the response they drafted actually offers no new solutions. if you've been following AO3's board meetings for the past year, as well as their regular comms (which i have, and which i know most people do not), you already know about most of these "actions". this is a "response" without an actual "response". they're just reminding people of the steps they've taken in the past, and the steps they're currently taking, to remedy their diversity problem. they are telling you: we are trying.

and, truth be told, they are. they've tried to hire diversity consultants, implemented policies designed to reduce hate in comment sections, etc. this is progress. but, i understand that this is progress that is very unsatisfying for a lot of people, given this is a pretty major issue. hence, the protest. i agree.

however, the problem i have with this protest (and with the negative comments under this post), is that people seem to be holding AO3 to a standard that is completely unachievable given their "business model". trust me, there is a lot to criticise about AO3's board (and, i'm the first to criticise them) but you cannot decently expect them to remedy this diversity problem (and all their other issues) without accepting a thing that is despicable and yet totally essential to function in our society ... money.

if you've been spending any time at all on tumblr lately, you probably have seen all those people (mostly millennials) going on about how Money Ruins Everything. to a certain extent, that is true. i also agree. the older i get, the more of a raging socialist i become. and, in terms of AO3, it means that every time the question of monetisation (beyond their current donation drives) is brought up, most people go up in arms about how AO3 is an archive, not a social media site, how money would ruin people's hobbies, how some gen z writers are misguided and "harming" AO3 by putting up links to their ko-fis, etc. i am not going to tag these people because i don't want to start yet another conversation about this but if you have been on tumblr lately, i trust that you have seen these points being brought up. the consensus seems to be that generally speaking, people do not wish AO3 to become a "business". this is reinforced by the fact that AO3 itself wishes to remain a small non-profit.

the issue with this is that the idea that you could hold AO3 to high diversity standards while arguing in the same breath that it should only be funded by three donation drives a year is insane. diversity requires a lot of things: a willingness to have an open mind, a willingness to better things, etc. sure, but mostly? it requires MONEY. and, if you look at the standard for websites and internet platforms with comparable traffic, AO3 has no money.

they have - currently - about a million USD in the bank (IIRC, from what i saw from their 2021 public accounts, i believe). which, sure, they are managing very poorly (but that's a different discussion), but even if they were the best investors of all time, that is nothing by tech standards. that buys you, like, three engineers in SF. whereas, they require: a board, admin staff, legal, eng, trust and safety [1], translators, and So Much More. and they cannot hire these people, because They Don't Have Money. so, they run on volunteers (with all the issues this creates, in terms of lack of consistency, attrition, etc. which makes it very hard for them to implement any long-term vision). and, you know who can afford to volunteer ten hours a week to be a tag-wrangler for peanuts?

privileged white women from western countries.

now, of course, there are exceptions. feel free to come into my mentions telling me that you are a POC who has three jobs and two kids and still finds time to translate AO3's comms to yaoundé - to which i say, good for you. but, let's be honest, you are not the majority.

the issue with this debate is that we are looking at diversity (and the lack thereof) as a purely racial problem, whereas it is incredibly multifaceted. diversity is access. diversity is unconscious bias. diversity is power. diversity is money. and, divorcing the issue from one of its most important ramifications, which is financial, is doing a disservice to a) POCs and b) AO3. so much of the criticism that is currently being made at AO3 can be answered by: "because they have no money." for example, just looking at the comments below this post:

you said two years ago that you'd hire a diversity consultant, this hasn't been done yet, why? because they have no money.

why isn't the board moving to a more standard Trust & Safety organization, with an enforceable, shorter TOS, a Code of Conduct, and a separate user guide? because they have no money.

it is wild to me that so many people expect this website to remain free to access, never monetise, and remain this sweet little archive, while still expecting this much from it. AO3 isn't a tech company. AO3 doesn't want to be a tech company. and, generally, it seems that most of you don't want AO3 to be a tech company. that comes at a cost that people need to understand.

and, for the record, whilst we're at it, yes, AO3 could monetise. other fanfiction websites have done it. this situation is a choice. they could run ads. they could have a membership-based subscription with perks associated. they could have writers monetise and take a cut [2]. it is a risk, but it could be a calculated risk. there are a number of things they could consider and/or combine, and yes, ethical monetisation can be a thing. for proof: tumblr and @staff and @photomatt are trying to achieve it, right now. if you don't believe me, i advise you to listen to this podcast episode where matt mullenweg explains their strategy (and troubles). (which btw, tumblr, please hire me, i work in tech and i make great coffee 😆). it is not always easy. it requires ethics and sacrifices. and, in the case of AO3, i think this might be a conversation to be had with the community as a whole, because there will be trade-offs, and this might be something people at large, might not want.

we could say that, as a community, we are okay with "meh" performances on the diversity front, as long as AO3 remains free of corporate engagement. that is a very fair opinion. what isn't, is refusing to understand that in the world we live in, there are trade-offs that we need to account for, depending on the business models we choose for the things we love.

now, of course, i acknowledge money doesn't solve everything. money doesn't solve the discriminatory comments made by that board member. it doesn't solve unconscious bias. it doesn't solve issues of access to the tools you would need to become a volunteer, even. but, it is a pretty big factor, both in hiring, and in maintaining diversity standards.

and so yes, if AO3 is so bad at diversity, it's also because they don't have money. refusing to acknowledge that is like we say in france: wanting the butter, the money from the butter, and the cream-seller's butt. or, in english: wanting to have your cake and eat it too.

---

[1] "trust and safety" is the tech term for people who generally do content review and enforcement, including of policies around offensive content

[2] yes, i know, "monetising fanfiction is illegal". except: no, not really, it's a very complicated legal issue and it's more of a grey area than you think.

[fishnamedsushi]

(Laughs/cries at how late I am)

Work has been so busy recently and I've been heads down working on my latest fic, but the amazing @lilredghost and @dark--whisperings both tagged me in this game!!!

How many works do you have on ao3?

Seventeen!

(Me: Wait, really??? That's awesome!)

2. What's your Ao3 word count?

188,000 words!

3. What fandoms do you write for?

My jam these days is Star Wars (Obikin) but previously I was involved in MCU verse (Stony, TaserTricks). I am also eyeing some potential fics in OFMD and Lokius...if I ever get the time lol.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

FML, Darcy Lewis Style (627 kudos) Loki/Darcy Lewis, AU

Forget Me Not (426 kudos) Anakin Skywalker/Obi-Wan Kenobi, Tatooine AU amnesia fic

If You'll Let Me (376 kudos) Steve Rogers/Tony Stark, A/B/O AU

A Different Sort of Knife (303 kudos) Anakin Skywalker/Obi-Wan Kenobi, Sith Obi/Padawan Ani AU

A Perfect Distraction (243 kudos) Anakin Skywalker/Obi-Wan Kenobi, the lip gloss fic

5. Do you respond to comments?

Yes! Comments are my favorite thing and I love reading and responding to them! They're honestly one of the best motivations to keep me writing...I've changed fics mid-plot just because of comments lol.

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Hmm...probably Lie To Me or While You Were Gone, both Sherlock (Johnlock) fics. Both stories are very dark and gritty, especially WYWG, and I think I might have been going through *some stuff* when I wrote them that influenced how they turned out lol. I absolutely adore WYWG - it's one of my favorite fics that I've written.

For Obikin, the angstiest fic is probably Away From Me (Don't Fall) which is a post-Order 66 fic where Anakin's fall to the Dark Side caused Obi-Wan to fall as well. It's a recent fic and I've got a sequel half-drafted just waiting to be finished. There's a twist at the end that I won't spoil...you'll have to go read it if you want to know what happens 👀

7. What's the fic your write with the happiest ending?

Ohh..that's a tough one! I always strive for happy endings (no pun intended) even in fics that are literally just porn (in which case, pun definitely intended).

I think To Tell The Moon has a very sweet happy ending. It's a same-age AU where Anakin and Obi-Wan are both padawans and end up taking part in winter festivities on a planet during a mission. It's a very wholesome fic all around (though since it's me, there is some angst haha).

The next one would probably be Forget Me Not and A Perfect Distraction, which I linked above, if only because both of them feature Obi-Wan getting what he wants and deserves, which he never does in canon, and I want him to be happy.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not in a long time, thankfully. When I first started writing fanfic I did get some hate which was very demoralizing but eventually I just decided to tell those people to fuck off very kindly. I've been so lucky to be in fandoms where everyone is pretty accepting and supportive 💕

9. Do you write smut? What kind?

👀😉😎 Check my AO3. There's smut. I'm a big fan of dirty talk and D/s undertones. Obikin delivers plenty of opportunity !

10. Do you write cross-overs?

Not yet! I would love to try one day if the opportunity presented itself.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not yet, but I would love that if anyone every felt so inclined! Same with podfics.

13. Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

I have not but that would be an interesting experience!

14. What's your all time favourite ship?

That's such a tough question haha. If I had to choose, I'd pick, in no particular order:

Obikin

Hannigram

Kylux

Dinluke

Spideypool

Geraskier

15. What's your WIP you like to finish, but doubt you ever will?

I want to go back and finish A Different Sort of Knife one day. I had such a fantastic time writing Sith Obi-Wan and his catnip Padawan Anakin. I hope that I get the motivation to go back to it.

I just finished a WIP that I had started last year and ended up coming back to it after a hiatus (Forget Me Not), so there is hope!

16. What are your writing strength?

I like to think that I'm good at characterization. It's something I obsess over when I'm writing, to the point that I end up throwing out whole passages if I don't feel like I'm conveying the character correctly. I've been told that my descriptions and metaphors are good, which is lovely to hear ❤

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Probably that it takes me too long to write something haha.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I love reading fics with dialogue in other languages! It adds so much depth to the story and is very immersive.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

MCU (Loki/Darcy Lewis). Back when I thought I was straight, but Tom Hiddleston and Kat Dennings are both babes so I stand by it.

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

Probably To Tell The Moon or Forget Me Not.

***

Phew, that was fun! Thanks so much for the tags!

To keep this rolling, I'll tag in @demon----dean, @nixie-deangel, @renlyslittlerose, @dreaminghour in case you haven't already been tagged!

[star-trek-fanart-archive]

Do you reblog the entire blog or just some of the works?

So my process is... complicated and sometimes random.

I eventually intend to archive the entire blog, in fact I have an 11 page google doc with links to blogs I intend to fully archive. However, I also just randomly go down my feed and reblog art from there too (while adding those artists to my google doc). Occasionally I check out tags and do the same thing.

I also have a google doc with my already archived blogs where I denote if they are "dead" (haven't posted Trek art in over two yrs) or "alive". For the "alive" ones, I check them at random (then put the date of the last check-up in the doc).

I also don't like to flood specific tags with to much unbroken content from one artists. So for example, if someone clearly loves Spock and has over 200 posts of Spock content, I will take a dive into the Spock tag and add a bunch of that art to the queue to mix it up. This is just my weird personal preference.

At most times (except for the past two weeks cause I've been busy) I have a completely full queue (1,000 posts) and a shitton of drafts. Sometimes if I have an artist who has produced an incredible amount of content, I regulate at least half of their stuff to drafts for a while.

So that's my process! I have ADHD if that wasn't guessable by this convoluted affair! I also love, love, love sorting things.

Also, when I get into archiving a whole blog, if it's a huge one where the user has been very Trek Active since 2011, I have to block out some time in my day cause I enter an intense state where I refuse to stop until the entire blog is in my queue or drafts. Hyperfixation, huzzah! My college roommate has occasionally yanked me away kicking and screaming cause "I need to eat."

Oh also, if y'all have any blogs that you don't think I've stumbled upon, please send them to me!! The tumblr search engine is shit (the reason for this blog in the first place).

Another note (I'm sorry, I just like explaining my process). Since the tumblr search engine is shit, if I find an old blog, I will also look at the art they've reblogged to find artists I probably wouldn't have found any other way. This sometimes leads to an explosion where I think I'm clearing down my 11 page doc (size 11 font) of blogs to archive, but I end up finding 10 more blogs. That's okay though! It makes me happy to see just how many people are out there making content for this franchise!

I also sometimes go on a specific character kick (yes, you can tell who I particularly favor on this blog due to the amount of art I've collected of them. Nyota Uhura, Kathryn Janeway, etc) where I exhaust all possible ways of getting to art of them. This is far more often for characters like Uhura, not characters like Spock where you can't throw a stone without finding art of them. For characters like these, I will go as far as doing google searches to reverse engineer finding art of them (tumblr search engine I hate you). Still using Uhura as an example, I have actually gone to the BOTTOM of multiple tags relating to her. (Again, showing how shit the tag system is, because I know there is more out there and I WILL find it.) I have used tumblex and those other tumblr dupes to also reverse engineer finding her art. I've been on wayback machine. I feel insane sometimes. Anyways! Yeah! I know the original asker asked a simple question, I'm sorry, this stuff just excites me very much.

[clumsyclifford]

Rian helping Alex to dye his hair!! And complain how it'll fall out and stuff just to mask how pretty he thinks it's gonna look

alright anon here it is! my rilex debut. i hope it does not disappoint. also full disclosure i have had my hair dyed Once for me and my friends did it and i do not remember most of what happened so while i did do some light google searches please suspend disbelief if and when you must

read it here on ao3

-

Rian should know more about dyeing hair. It seems impossible for him to have been in a band with Jack and Alex for this long and not pick up on the basics, at least. Standing in a CVS, Rian feels confident that he should know this.

"Should" being the operative word.

Finally he calls Alex. 

"I forgot which brand you said," he tells Alex when he gets yeah?

"I texted it to you, you moron," Alex replies. He sounds very fond. It's always fun to hear Alex try and be bitchy when he's really just being fond.

Sighing, Rian pulls his phone away from his ear and checks his texts. "No you didn't."

"I definitely did." Pause. "Oh, it didn't go through. Whoops."

"Who's a moron now?"

"Still you. I told you the name like fifty times. Okay, it sent. If you get the wrong color, no offense but our friendship is over."

"Gotcha," says Rian. "So was it bright orange or more of a burnt umber that you wanted?"

Alex hangs up on him. A minute later he calls back.

"Love you," he says.

Rian rolls his eyes and grins. "Love you."

-

"Isn't it kind of disrespectful to do this in a hotel room bathroom?"

Alex doesn't stop setting up the hair dye supplies on the sink, but he does shoot a dry look towards Rian. "Yeah, duh. But it's just hair dye. Worst case scenario it stains the tub or something."

"Or the floor," Rian puts in. "Or your hair all burns off from the bleach and you sue and then there's a whole court case. That'd be pretty bad for them."

"But dope for me," Alex says. "So wins all around."

Not wins for the hotel, Rian doesn't say. He's not sure why he's bothering to try and convince Alex that they shouldn't do this. Not only is Alex thoroughly unable to be convinced, Rian doesn't even think he believes himself. 

It's just, Alex is dyeing his hair blue.

Rian tries not to form opinions, like, about Alex in specific, because in general his opinion is wow and good-looking and would love to kiss him and AHHHHH, and those opinions don't really change with Alex's look. Even in the most emo of Alex's hair days, Rian had been very much extremely attracted to him, and Alex has only gotten cuter since then. It will probably become a problem eventually. Rian suspects it might already be a problem that he's just ignoring very effectively.

It's not like he only likes Alex for his looks. Alex has lots of wonderful qualities, and Rian could easily wax poetic for hours. It's just that it would probably be easier not to fall in love with him if he was a little less what they in the music business called Fucking Gorgeous.

But no dice. Obviously.

All of which to say: helping Alex dye his hair blue cannot possibly end well for Rian. Alex has yet to do blue, but Rian is one hundred percent sure it's going to look as good as all the other colors have, and he's just going to find himself speechless for a couple minutes again. Which hadn't been a problem before, when Alex had gotten Jack to do it with him, but for some reason this time he's enlisted Rian, and Rian has yet to find within himself the capacity to refuse anything Alex requests, within (and sometimes without) reason.

Speaking of which: "Why isn't Jack helping you with this? Don't you think he'd be, like, a thousand times more competent? I mean, I wouldn't usually say that about Jack, but this is so not my area of expertise."

Alex huffs, opening the box of dye. "Well, for starters, Jack is busy with Zack, and they are probably banging and/or playing a board game and/or getting wasted and/or doing things that I can't even fathom because Jack and Zack are ineffable," which takes Rian a long moment to process but none of which is technically implausible or untrue, "and second, I wanted your help."

"Yeah, no, I got that when you told me you wanted my help," Rian says dryly. "What I'm wondering is why."

Alex frowns in judgement as he mixes the dye. "What's with all the questions? I just like hanging out with you, man. Do I need a better reason?"

Rian clears his throat. "Uh. I guess not."

"Damn right." Alex gives Rian a smile, and a small part of Rian melts, and he thinks about how much of a naive idiot he's been that he didn't realize how much of a problem this would be until right now. When it's too late. "Okay. Gloves on, Ri. It's gonna get messy up in here."

There's no way that innuendo is unintentional, and Rian is a sucker because he blushes anyway.

-

Apparently it's just a matter of painting. Which is much easier said than done. Not because painting dye onto hair is particularly challenging, but because Rian painting dye onto Alex's hair is, well.

"One of these days you're gonna lose all your hair," he says at one point, mostly to distract himself from the look on Alex's face as he works the dye through his hair with his crinkly-plastic-gloved fingers. That look is putting Rian's mind in places it should not be.

Fortunately, this comment alters it, and Alex opens his eyes. "I don't dye my hair that much."

Rian gives him a critical look. "Yeah, but still. This stuff can't be good for you. Even if you don't use it a lot."

"You know what else isn't good for me?" Alex says seriously. "Alcohol. Tattoos. Sex before marriage. Rebellion is hot. What kind of punk rocker are you?"

"I'm sorry it's not punk to be worried about your friends," Rian replies. "Doesn't it burn your head?"

"Nah," Alex says, closing his eyes again. "Feels nice."

"How the fuck does putting — I don't even know what's in this stuff — feel nice?"

"It's more about the experience," Alex says around a smile. "You putting the dye in my hair, it feels nice."

Awesome. Rian's fine.

"Oh," he mumbles, and then decides that not talking is in his best interest.

Rian is thorough with his task. If that means he goes twice through all of Alex's hair, it's because he's being extra careful.

(By the second time, Alex has begun humming along to the Motion City Soundtrack song playing from his phone on the sink top, and Rian is distracted for a little (long) while.)

-

With the shower cap on, Alex actually looks kind of dumb, which is a relief. The timer is nearly done ticking down from thirty minutes and Paramore is singing about how the camera's lying as Alex stares at himself in the mirror, using a washcloth to wipe off the smudges of rogue dye on his forehead.

Rian should stop watching, but there's something very captivating about the intensity of Alex's demeanor. It's not about what he's doing so much as the manner in which he's doing it, and God, Rian would give all the money in the world for Alex to look at him with that same attentiveness, even though he would probably just disintegrate if it ever did happen.

Rian was once a dignified man. He's not sure what happened but he's certain it's Alex's fault.

"Hey, Ri," Alex says. "Can you help me with this? I can't get this fucking dye off my face."

You're doing fine, Rian absolutely does not say, and instead says, "Yeah, sure. Although you might wanna think about just leaving it. I really think you could start a trend with this."

"Yeah?" Alex says, passing off the wet washcloth to Rian. "What, a trend of wearing hair dye on your face?"

"Dyed face is the new dyed hair," Rian says, grinning. He hesitates for a moment and then resigns himself to what he knows has to happen. "Don't move or talk or breathe or anything like that," he tells Alex, sliding a hand around Alex's neck to keep his head in place.

"Don't breathe?"

"What did I just say about talking and breathing?" Rian holds up the washcloth like a weapon. "Shut your mouth."

Alex presses his lips together and mimes locking them. He slips the imaginary key down the front of Rian's shirt. Rian snorts and begins his efforts to clean the dye off Alex's face. It's probably not going to go away for a little while, and they'll need to cover it with makeup, and Rian knows that, and surely Alex knows that too, so he's not sure why they're even bothering with this.

But. The position they've found themselves in is as compromising as it is tempting; Rian keeps his eyes firmly on the washcloth in his hands so they don't flit around Alex's face or land too often on his mouth. He could give himself away far too easily right now.

(He would like to. He would love to. If he kissed Alex right now, would Alex kiss him back? Would Alex have put them in this position as a joke? Is Alex a heartless monster or just a friend who thinks they're just friends? Are they just friends? Do they have to be? Could hair dye be mixed with glue to make colorful glue or does it only work on hair? All these questions and more crowd Rian's mind. It's a wonder he ever gets anything done.)

Eventually, though, Rian has to admit he's not going to get this dye off Alex's skin, and he doesn't want to hurt Alex. He sighs and drops his hand to his side, curling the washcloth in his fist. "Sorry, Al. You're gonna have to start that trend whether you like it or not."

Alex doesn't look even slightly disappointed. "That's cool," he says, smiling at Rian, smiling only for Rian, in a way that paralyzes Rian and renders him momentarily unable to respond. "It's kinda hot, in a subversive way. You know?"

Rian swallows. "Huh?"

"I mean, objectively being punk isn't hot compared to mainstream hot people, but there's something inherently hot about doing exactly what you're not supposed to. That's the whole point of punk." Rian's pretty sure punk has an additional, slightly larger point, but at the moment it's slipping his mind. "So like, this is hot in the sense that it's not what you'd expect to be hot. But I kind of make it work, don't you think?"

I think you kind of make this shower cap work, so I'm not exactly an unbiased authority on the matter, Rian keeps to himself. "Are you asking if I think you look hot with blue hair dye on your face?" he says, neutrally, trying not to give away that he does think Alex looks hot with blue hair dye on his face. 

But Alex just meets Rian's gaze and says, "Yeah, that's exactly what I'm asking."

A moment passes. Rian realizes he never reclaimed his hand and it is now just kind of cradling Alex's neck where it meets his shoulder. Another moment. Alex keeps his eyes steady on Rian's. Neither of them move. Rian starts to feel his heartbeat and wonders how he never notices when he's not feeling it. It's only startling to feel it because it's so quiet usually. People should be able to feel their own heartbeats, all the time. Then it wouldn't be such an inconvenient surprise any time it kicks to life with a thudding intensity that almost makes Rian flinch.

It's not like he can lie. Morality aside, because Rian doesn't like to lie, he also knows Alex will see through him like glass. 

Which leaves him with the truth as his only option, and unfortunately it's been too long since Alex asked for the truth to sound anything but incredibly guilty coming from Rian.

Well.

"If anyone is going to make it work," he says at last, "it's you."

Alex raises his eyebrows. "Way to not answer the question."

"I basically did."

"You completely didn't."

"Why do you care if I think it's hot? You don't need to impress me. I'm already in your shitty band."

"Maybe I'm trying to impress you for something that isn't the band," Alex says evenly, with an impressive degree of confidence, but Rian can feel his heart rate rise under his fingertips.

He has the presence of mind to think, what the fuck is going on? But instead of that, he says, "Like?"

Alex bites his lip. Rian thinks that if he's reading this right, it will flip everything upside down, but surely even he couldn't read a situation this wrong. There's nothing else Alex could possibly mean by this, right?

"I take it back," Rian says. "Dumb question."

"A little," Alex says, breathing a nervous laugh. There's a dangerously small amount of space between the two of them, the kind of small that Rian could bridge so easily, and with no reason not to, he figures there's not much more he can lose.

(He can't be misreading this. There's just no way. Alex isn't this cruel, and Rian isn't this stupid.)

Alex leans closer when Rian does, breath mingling in the air between them, so so so close, like insanely close, like Rian can practically taste it already, how impossible and incredible it's going to be to kiss Alex. The air catches in his throat, and he kind of smiles a little hesitantly, and Alex smells so much like hair dye that it is overpowering all of Rian's senses but he'd love to drown in that smell as long as it means drowning in Alex and their noses brush and Rian lets his eyes fall shut and then

The timer goes off, blaring an aggressive alarm throughout the bathroom, and Rian almost has a heart attack as he jerks backwards and he is going to fucking break his phone into many many pieces.

-

They're quiet as Rian rinses the dye out of Alex's hair. The worst part is Rian can't quite figure out what kind of silence this is, if it's awkward or anticipatory or what. But thinking for too long makes him want to scream or something, so he stops thinking and just focuses on washing out the dye. Alex is sitting in a chair they pulled in from the room, head tipped back under the sink, that same look on his face that — 

But Rian's not thinking about it.

The water starts out bright blue, and Rian almost panics before Alex says lightly, "You just have to rinse until the water runs clear. Don't freak out if it's blue, that's normal."

So Rian does not freak out when the water is blue, and true to Alex's word, it starts to grow clearer the more Rian lets it run. If it were Alex in his position he would probably have a thousand poetic things to say — it's like life, he'd say in a tone just shy of pretentious, it starts out looking like it's going wrong but then everything literally becomes clear — but Rian isn't Alex and to him it's just a Good Sign that he hasn't Fucked Up.

Well he hasn't fucked up the hair, at least. Probably. Yet.

At long last, the water starts running clear, and Rian breathes a sigh of relief and turns the tap off. "You're good," he says, wringing the worst of water out of Alex's hair. His hands are stained blue, he now notices; probably he should have put the gloves back on when he'd gone to rinse Alex's hair, but he hadn't thought to.

"Yeah?" Alex asks, experimentally lifting his head and stretching his neck. "Ah, that is not the most comfortable position, not gonna lie."

Rian grabs the hand towel and dries his hands off, then gives it to Alex so Alex can dry his neck, which Alex does, and then leaves the towel around his shoulders. They are definitely going to get dye on this towel and the hotel will not be pleased, but as Alex stands up and begins rearranging his hair to look like himself again, the comment dies in Rian's throat.

Predictably, he looks really fucking good.

Rian watches Alex like some kind of lovestruck idiot until Alex turns to him, tilting his head, and says, "So? Final thoughts? How do I look?"

"Can I kiss you now?" Rian says, surprising himself. "That's what was about to happen before, right? Like, I'm not insane?"

"Your sanity has nothing to do with whether or not we were gonna kiss," Alex says, grinning, eyes bright, "but we totally were and now we definitely are."

This time Rian wastes no time, and his dye-stained fingers blend into the blue oasis of Alex's new hair color as their lips meet. Briefly, Rian's mind is once again crowded with dumb pointless questions, but he pulls Alex closer and Alex curls a hand into the front of Rian's shirt and Rian decides that his mind can take a hike.

As they break apart, Alex laughs. "So you think it looks good?"

"It looks terrible," Rian deadpans. "Yes, of course it looks good. You could shave your head and it would look good." Alex gasps. "Well. Okay. That was an exaggeration to make a point but I'm not sure it's actually true. But honestly, Alex." The jig is up, so Rian just smiles at him. "I always fucking think you look good. This?" He tugs at Alex's hair. "Hot. No doubt."

"Well, that's the only vote of confidence I need," Alex breathes, and then they're kissing again.

(The hair dye leaves its mark on the towel and Rian's hands and the pillowcases they sleep on that night, but its impact, in Rian's opinion, is altogether immeasurable. It's not every day a box of blue hair dye gets him a boyfriend.)

[callioope]

I'm this close to finishing the first draft of my rebelcaptain fencing AU... yes, I know I've been saying that since NaNoWriMo 2020. My new year's resolution for 2023 is to finish and post it!

In the meantime, here's a brief summary, a link to the snippet from chapter one, and a snippet from chapter two.

Description: A rising star in youth fencing, Jyn Erso was once on track to become an Olympic-level athlete. But then, age 16, she quit unexpectedly. Her break from fencing unraveled her life. Three years later, she still refuses to discuss the subject, even with her father, a former Olympic medalist, and her best friend, Bodhi, who’s just returned from competing in the Olympics. It’s fine, it’s working – until she meets Cassian Andor, the kindest, most interesting person she’s ever met. Except for one problem: he’s also an Olympic-level fencer. 

Excerpt from chapter two:

Jyn crosses her arms and waits. She’s elbow to elbow with strangers in the crowded cafe she and Bodhi chose for their weekly lunch. It’s not normally this popular, but it seems the dreary weather has convinced everyone and their mother that a cup of soup sounds quite nice.

Sighing, she glances over her shoulder, towards the filled seating where Bodhi has aggressively commandeered a table. He waves when she catches his eyes. She smiles back, but then looks past him, at the gray sky and gathering water droplets on the windows. 

The days trudge along, minutes dragging like hours. It’s been two weeks since she scampered like a coward from Cassian’s home, from a well-cooked meal, from hope and possibility. Sometimes, she thinks she sees him passing on the street or in the hallway, and she ducks into an alcove or a classroom. Saw would be ashamed. That thought does nothing to help, merely reminds her why she’s in this mess in the first place. 

“Order for Erso!” 

She jolts back to the present, sees an employee place their order on the counter: a tray for Jyn’s meal, a tray for Bodhi’s, and two drinks. If only Bodhi hadn’t needed to stake out a table; now she’s stuck trying to balance it all.

“You seem like you’re carrying a lot.”

Turning, she sees her English professor. “Hi, Professor Malbus. My friend went to save a seat.”

He nods. “Chirrut’s doing the same.”

“Well, it’s good to see you.” Jyn moves towards the seating area, but her professor keeps talking.

“While you’re here,” he starts. It sounds ominous, and it occurs to Jyn that had her food been called just twenty seconds earlier, perhaps she could have avoided this conversation entirely.  “I wanted to talk to you about your last paper.”

“Oh.” Yeah, bad feeling justified. 

“I appreciate you handing it in early,” he says. The writing takes her mind off things. “But it seems a little rushed. You still have time before the deadline, if you want to take another stab at it.”

His phrasing pierces her a little more pointedly than he probably realizes. Am I really this sensitive to it after all this time? What doesn’t help is that she’d actually spent quite a bit of time mulling over that assignment. 

“Of course, professor.” 

He frowns. “I’m sorry — you’re busy. Let’s talk it over in my office hours next week.”

“Thanks.”

Her steps might be a little heavier as she leaves the counter area and winds her way through the seating, but at least she’s pretty sure they wouldn’t qualify as outright stomping. 

At least this day couldn’t possibly get any worse.

Midway through the seating, she realizes she has no idea where she’s going, and she looks around again for Bodhi.

And instead, she finds Cassian.

Never think it can’t get worse, she reminds herself.

In fact, Cassian is, for some reason, talking to Bodhi, so at least she’s succeeded in locating her final destination. 

She stands there staring for far too long, other customers bumping past her, until Cassian glances away from Bodhi just for a second, just long enough to accidentally meet her gaze. 

She wonders if she looks as caught off guard as he does. 

Bodhi follows Cassian’s gaze. “Oh, finally!”

His words jumpstart her mind, and she covers the remaining distance between them. 

During that time, her mind screams, “How the hell do you two know each other!”

But instead, she says, “Sorry for the wait.”

“It’s fine,” they both answer her, although Cassian’s sounds a little less sincere.

All three of them frown. Bodhi and Cassian glance back and forth between each other and her in confusion.

Slightly faster on the uptake — she did have a split second advantage — Jyn places Bodhi’s food in front of him, all the while avoiding the intensity of Cassian’s gaze. “So,” she says, staring at her seat but not getting into it, “how do you two know each other?” 

“I — we — what?” Bodhi says. He shakes his head as if to shake his thoughts loose. “He’s our bronze medalist in epee.” 

Jyn’s eyes widen, but it shouldn’t be that shocking. She had remembered he’d taken gold at that Junior Olympics all those years ago. Just because she left fencing behind didn’t mean everyone did. Bodhi, after all, had stuck with it.

Before she can respond, Cassian says, “Wait, how do you two know each other?”

Both Jyn and Bodhi hesitate. And then Bodhi sends Jyn a look that somehow manages to be both apologetic and defiant, and says, “We used to train together under Saw Gerrera.”

Cassian meets her wide-eyed gaze with his own. “You’re… Jyn Erso?”

Sighing, she settles into the seat next to Bodhi. “Yeah.”

“Fuck.”

“Wrong f-word.”

His gaze bores into hers, like he’s trying to figure her out. She thinks — she hopes — that maybe he has enough information to understand why she ran, since she hasn’t been able to find the words to explain it. 

“Well…” he finally says. “I should go.”

“No one’s going anywhere,” Bodhi says, and they both jerk guiltily toward him, “until we get to the bottom of this.”

That wasn’t the line, Jyn thinks inanely. But Bodhi thinks as fast as either of them, maybe faster, and apparently has no need to ask the same question a third time.

When he doesn’t continue, Jyn says warily, “There’s no … bottom… Bodhi…”

“Yes, there is, and you both are stuck in it.” 

She looks down at her food, pokes her salad with her fork.

“It’s fine,” Cassian says. “You don’t need to—”

“Sit!”

Startled into compliance, Cassian sits. Despite everything, Jyn smirks. Cassian, it would seem, is less familiar with Bodhi’s determined “I will aggressively logic you into happiness” routine. It really only works because disappointing him is literally the worst feeling in the world, worse even than losing a fencing bout had been, once upon a time. And that’s really saying something because she wasn’t the most gracious loser.

“You’re miserable,” he starts, pointing at Jyn with his own fork, “because you haven’t seen that photographer chef since that date two weeks ago. You know, the one where you were all, ‘this is the best date I’ve ever been on’…”

“Whoa.” Jyn’s eyes dart nervously between Bodhi and Cassian. “I didn’t say it like —”

“And you’re miserable,” Bodhi says, turning to Cassian, “because the last date you went on, two weeks ago, the awesome writer undergrad you met left early and hasn’t returned your calls.”

“If she’s not interested,” Cassian says, without looking up from the table, “that’s not her fault.”

Jyn winces like he just thrust his sword into her heart. 

Of course, it would seem that she’d struck him first.

[scrollypoly]

Hey guys, just wanted to give a big update about what's going on and why I haven't made any content in what seems like months.

As of right now at least, I'm back at school full time, trying to get a programming certification and finish my degree, I work full time at a pretty taxing job, and my family and I are taking care of my grandmother, who is moving out of state this weekend. I'm the busiest that I've been for a while, and it's really starting to hit. I've been putting most of my energy into my classes since they've started, but its hard when I come home tired and sore and want to do nothing more more be a lazy bum and talk to the people I love. If I'm not doing assignments, I'm either sleeping or trying to muster up the energy to write anything. I've already talked about it with my parents and they agreed that if things get to be too much, I'm quitting my job to put all my focus into classes.

Right now I'm putting all of my writing energy into my fic on ao3, and the 7mih chapters. It's coming along slowly, I've been bouncing between characters, so multiple parts are in progress right now. For those that know of SCB on my ao3, yes it's been almost a year since I've updated it, no I not abandoning it, I promise. Since it's been so long, I'm re-writing what chapters have already been uploaded, and once they're all done, I'll upload them and try to keep going.

I try to keep some kind of updates on here, but I never really know what to post tbh. If you guys want more consistent interaction, honestly the best place is my server on discord. We've got more stuff set up, users have access to my realm that currently has my slender mansion build loaded, so if yall wanted to see that that's the place to go. We also have it set up for DnD, but we haven't started anything yet. I'll keep reblogging that post with the info, but dm me if you wanna join. It's mostly just to see if you're a real human person and to see your blog and get to know a bit more about you before you join. So far, I've only denied one person, and that's because their blog was completely empty and looked like a burner blog. I'll probably put my discord user ID up too, if yall just wanna dm me that way.

Commissions. I have the post for pricing in my drafts, complete and ready to go. But because of how busy I've been, I've been putting it off. I was hoping to open some at the end of January, but it looks like I may have to keep pushing it back, and I cannot give a definite date on when I'll open them. Sorry for those who wanted one, it's gonna be a while.

I cant think of anything else rn, but I'll reblog with more info if I do. If you want to support me at all, I have my Kofi linked in my faq post. Reblogging my stuff and sending asks always helps too. I promise I see yall in my inbox, I just never have time to answer 😅

Thank you guys for staying with me and supporting me the way you do. I love all of you 💖💖

[the-happiest-place-trilogy]

I'm writing an unofficial expansion to your works, with a Small World Doll as the main character. I know what you would say. IMHO, you did a poor job, if at all, with characterizing the dolls, even though the idea of them being a robot army was a lot better than most other people would picture them. I only want to tell the story from the dolls' side. Please allow me to give you credit where it's due in my expansion.

Okay, so

First of all, I am very busy irl at the moment, so it’s been difficult to work on/answer/do anything online recently that takes more than about 2 minutes to think about. I’m not online all that frequently within the last year or two, and especially not on this blog due to the story being on a temp, if long, hiatus.

The answer to “can I work on a fic about the IaSW dolls?” is go right ahead! I physically can’t stop you. Frankly, if you had sent me the second message first (“Is it okay if I expand the Small World Doll's side in my own fanfic of your fanfic?”) I would have said absolutely! Go for it! Send me the link when you’ve posted it because honestly that sounds really interesting.

But you didn’t do that.

Instead I come into my inbox to see somebody negging on my fic while asking if they can expand upon it. “IMHO, you did a poor job, if at all, with characterizing the dolls, even though the idea of them being a robot army was a lot better than most other people would picture them.” Would you have sent that message or something along those lines to any other creator? If so, please reconsider. It is invasive and incredibly rude. I’ve made fics before that explore aspects I thought other creators were overlooking, but I would never have sent them messages saying as much.

Going on, you later said, “What do you have against them? Why didn't you let them speak? Why is their world not shown?” So, first off, anybody who actually knows me knows that IaSW is one of my all-time favorite attractions. I rewrote whole sections of my outline in order to incorporate them into THP. And to answer your question about why they got “sidelined”:

The story isn’t about them.

The story is about Cinderella.

She is the POV character and the plot’s arc revolves around her own personal growth. Her character arc ties directly into the main plot. Any ideas or concepts that didn’t support that had to be severely trimmed down because that’s how stories work. The finished draft of THP online is 96k words approximately. That is Published Book length. If I had gone with more POVs, more storylines, more backstory, etc, it would have inflated that number an unwieldy amount. I would never have finished. The concepts I cut from the story, some of which I plan to use later, were done for the sake of actually making THP a manageable project. And it was! It’s got that shiny “complete” sticker everywhere it’s posted. All because I focused on what I needed to for the project.

The dolls didn’t fit into that plan as more than they ended up being. If they had, I might have done something else with them. Because, again, I love the dolls.

It took me a while to respond to this because I didn’t know how to respond. Everyone else who has asked to expand on the universe in their own way has gotten an immediate yes go ahead because they’ve asked nicely. They haven’t ragged on my decisions for THP when doing so.

I’m not being paid to do any of this. I work on fics because I enjoy doing so, but I don’t owe anyone any of my time, effort, attention, or answers because I really do have better things to do with my time.

TL;DR: Sending a rude message to begin with made it hard to respond, and continuing to badger only made it worse. Please stop.