#if u can believe it i have imposter syndrome for being depressed

[donniesexceptionalmind]

i can't tell if this is a personal question or not, so feel free to not answer/bock me if it makes u uncomfortable, but did u always know u had autism? i'm pretty sure i have autism, but my parents think it's adhd and i can't tell if it's something i should pursue even if it would cause fights with them

again sorry if it's too personal lol u just seem like u would know duh

Well, it's a very good question!

I did not know.

What I knew was that I was ✨️different✨️.

Alienation is a common feeling of autistic people & it was definitely present throughout my whole life. I did not feel like I'd belong among the people around me (not talking about my family, though. They are very generous & they support me all the time).

I didn't understand my peers & they called me weird behind my back. I had no real interest in interacting with them, although I wanted to be accepted & valued. Instead, I was systemically excluded by my peers & only pursued if I had knowledge to share what they wanted.

Added to that, there were symptoms I lacked to properly identify & lead me to believe I had an anxiety or panic disorder. Turned out it had been suppressed sensory overload which lead to me developing depression & a severe eating disorder to cope with the stress.

It took a lot of research to find out that I was autistic because we four & dad were so extraordinary to begin with. My differences were just taken as another quirk, I mean, we are mutants?

That being said, random research brought my attention to it & Mikey, being the one that loves psychology very much, suggested it in my teens.

Since then I have educated myself A LOT about autism & neurodivergency & I continue my research to widen my knowledge & it is the most accurate explanation of the way my brain works, so why should I be wrong? Especially if the tools to accommodate myself work?

*waving my massive backlog of research around*

ADHD & autism have overlapping traits but they are not the same. It could be possible that you have both, it's not uncommon to be AuDHD. I suggest you do research about autism. I can give you some resources to start with, if that would be wanted.

Should you go for a diagnosis or at least look more into it?

Yes, if it would help you to get additional support. Personally, I believe you are deserving support without a diagnosis, which means allowing noise canceling headphones, using fidgets... but I was referring to health care support actions, I believe you know what I mean, human healthcare isn't my best field of knowledge.

It can be beneficial to know from a professional that you are indeed autistic too, it helps with imposter syndrome

Yes, if you are in need of support & your mental health is doing badly.

No, if a diagnosis would cause you to be restricted or infantalised & you wouldn't be safe

Thank you for the very amazing inbox question & I hope I've answered it to your delight.

Stim away, dear people. ✨️💜

[tendytoons]

its my blog i get to choose the vent posts >:'Dc

[mercytaste-blog]

tw : mentions of several mental illness such as; depression, anxiety, insomnia, imposter syndrome; parental neglect; mentions of attempted suicide; mentions of blood & overdosing

did i really just see  KIM JIWOO (CHUU) ? nah, that’s just  PEYTON RHEE , they’re new to neverland. apparently, they’re a  NINETEEN  year old  STUDENT. i heard that the  CISFEMALE is known for their  SWEATER PAWS, SWEET SOUNDING LAUGH, HOT CHOCOLATE CUDDLES, and WARM HANDS THAT HOLDS ON TIGHT vibe.

b a c k g r o u n d

peyton was actually born in a small town near the dubbed koreatown in london where all her family / relatives lives and so basically everyone knows everyone there and everyone knows everyone’s business and it was a small tight knit community that liked to talk and gossip a lot , the usual

peyton’s parents are a wannabe new money type, trying to make a name for themselves especially after they’ve lost everything because of a certain incident

she’s the epitome of the song eternal sunshine by epik high and has a lot of undiagnosed mental illness, namely depression and anxiety and she’s lived a typical asian lifestyle , where as her parents and grandparents, etc don’t believe in mental illnesses and they wanna keep the pretense of them being a perfect family

when they’re anything BUT and peyton’s parents are in a volatile relationship with each other, both didn’t like each other from the beginning but they were set up by their parents so they weren’t given much of a choice in that matter

they weren’t necessarily forced to be with each other but their parents silent demands and asian subtleties made it almost impossible to disobey them because the disappointment of their parents hang over their heads

so when peyton was born, instead of solidifying their relationship she kind of Made it worst for being born ; like she was an EXPECTATION, meaning like the grandparents wanted her, wanted a granddchild asap because they aren’t getting any younger and they wanna take care grand children already so the parents delivered despite not being able to stay in the same room as each other for more than five minutes

peyton, rather than fixing her parents, broke them even further because now they really won’t be able to get away from each other because they have a child together and now they can’t be reckless with each other because they have a child, now, rather than blaming themselves for neglecting peyton, they blame the other 

and it took a toll on peyton having to grow up with her parents fighting every single day but not being able to get a divorce and it took a toll on peyton when they started blaming her for not being able to fix things between them and it doesn’t help that peyton has anxiety, depression, and imposter syndrome and other unnamed , undiagnosed mental illness

and she had become a ticking time bomb just waiting to explode, until she did , she exploded and became the talk of the town and asians talk, asian relatives talk and being surrounded by gossiping aunties did not help at all so they moved soon after, her parents too ashamed of her, too ashamed of what had transpired and took it as peyton just rebelling and being an overdramatic teen and they never talk about the incident again, never ask peyton about her health or anything of the likes and if they did they’d shift the blame on peyton

and thats like all i have so Far ,,, will develop her More later on 

p e r s o n a l i t y

very soft spoken, almost shy in a way but once you get her talking about a topic she likes and knows about a lot she can go on forever

bubbly , or appears to be bubbly , because she’s used to having to pretend and pretend to be okay and look okay and feel okay when she’s anything but

easily influenced , and likes feeling wanted so she’s like a puppy, a lost puppy that wants to be loved yknow