#if u can draw please draw Steve in a nirvana shirt

[straight4joekeery]

Teach Me How To Love In Your Own Lyrics

(Part five)

(TWS ⚠️: mentions homophobia and domestic violence; If you want to skip I’ll put blue dots before and after the scene. I’m sorry if there’s any other areas I missed that talk about this!)

Prev. Part one

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“So he dumped me! Get this! He said ‘is it that time of the month?’ Like he’s so wrong for that! I mean… he wasn’t literally wrong. But still. As a woman I feel attacked. Steve? Are you even listening?” See? Steve doesn’t lie. Very. Annoying.

“Yeah. That’s crazy.”

“What’s your problem today?”

“… nothing”

“Oh. My. God. Steve get over it. It’s been a month! Why would you even want to be friends with him? He killed Chrissy,” (OH NO SHE DIDN’T), “I think he should be behind bars,” (SHE DID), “he disappears for like a week and comes back with a brand new apartment. I don’t know Steve I think it’s kinda messed up-”

“JULIE,” The entire diner went silent. He waved and apologized to the workers before continuing a little quieter, “genuine question. Do you ever shut up?”

“I-“

“Let me finish,” she actually closed her mouth for once what a shock! “It’s not against the law for me to have a friend that I actually care for. You act like I can’t know people besides you. Plus to be honest, I’ve never even liked you. For one, you over share EVERYTHING. Yeah, sorry, news flash I could not care less about your dear dear Bradley boy and wether or not he loves you. And also I’m allowed to have opinions that differ from yours. You don’t have to argue about EVERYTHING. If I said ‘oh hey Julie look at the pretty blue sky’ you’d come up with a six page essay on how the sky isn’t BLUE.”

“You done?”

“Oh I could say more if you’d like,” he grinned. When she said nothing he went to continue his beautifully presented speech.

“Pass,” she interrupted, “I’m sorry Steve. I really am. But it’s not my fault you cannot form a sentence where the subject isn’t Eddie. You’d think you’re in love with him,” (OH REALLY??) the last words rang in his ears. He scoffed as he took the last sip of his shake. He aggressively stood up and thanked the waiter.

“Oh and thank you for paying Julie!” He smiled as he ran out the door. He jumped in the car and laughed. Laughed until he couldn’t breathe. He wondered where all this rage came from. Then he remembered that he promised himself to never yell at anyone…

• Suddenly he’s ten again. His dad had told him something stupid that Steve quite frankly didn’t agree with. He didn’t even yell at him he just said softly that he has a different opinion. But oh no. Richard wasn’t too happy about it. He yelled at Steve until he lost his voice. When he did he had to use the only other form of punishment he knew. He hit Steve. Once. Twice. Seven times. But no. That wasn’t enough. He grabbed Steve by the hair and slammed him into the wall. That’s how he got concussion number 1 (and 2,4, and 5). If you ask anyone else he knew at the time he fell of his bike (Which was believable considering that’s how he got the third one). He remembered going to school the next day and Tommy laughing at him because oh Steve, you’re so stupid. Oh. Tommy.

Now he’s back to age 14. There were two kids in his grade named Cory and Danny. They were both super nice kids. Got good grades, never did anything wrong. But one day Tommy wasn’t to fond of how close they were sitting at lunch. So as usual, he said something. Called them… the word. Now I mean sure, Steve wasn’t the nicest and called Johnathan a queer once. But that? He’d never do that. That’s way too far. He told Tommy to stop. He just pushed him away and said, “or what? Are you a little fairy too?” •

Thinking back on it so what? So what if he was gay? There’s nothing wrong with that. And yeah Julie, so what if he is in love with Eddie…Wait. Pause. What? He had to think for a hot second about that one. He thinks about Nancy and what it felt like to be in love with her. And yeah it’s a lot different actually, but not in the way he thinks. He thought about how he actually felt about Nance he loved her but no… the longer he thought about it the more he realized. He thought about Robin, and how yeah he obviously loves her too. In the same way he loved Nance.

But that’s like saying their whole relationship was a lie so no. He loved her. But… He was hyperventilating at this point. Okay well he’s obviously not gay because he hooked up with like 10 girls a month a while back. He did it in hopes for just the right girl. He hoped it ‘feel different’ with her. Different. Oh.

But he guessed that it doesn’t matter anyways, because Eddie doesn’t like Steve back. Right?

He had to stop thinking about it because he’s been sitting in the car for a while now and he can see Julie inside standing up finally. He pulls out of the parking lot and cranks down the window. Just breathing in the summer air. He makes it about half way home before he realizes that he drove Julie to the diner. Oops.

He turns on the radio. He still hasn’t changed the tape since the airport. He has to admit. This kind of music is growing on him. It’s loud he’ll give it that, but the more he listens the more he actually hears the lyrics. And they’re actually good. Like really good. He pulls up to his house and sits in the car for a bit longer. Just listening.

Once the tape is over he gets out. He unlocks the door and jumps onto the couch. He sees the copy of The Lord of the Rings that Dustin had gotten him after forcing him to watch the movies. He almost cried (but then he thought about his dads stupid words) when he got it. Mostly because it’s probably the best gift he’s ever gotten. But partly because he couldn’t read. After concussion number 13 (12? 14? He didn’t know. I wonder why he couldn’t remember!) he was never able to. The words blend together and make no sense anymore. Every time he picks up a book he gets an instant migraine. (Oh yeah because he gets those too now.) He picks it up anyway. He opens it and… yeah. “Pointless,” He sighed.

It’s the weekend for gods sake, and he just discovered the that his life was a lie (he honestly wasn’t even mad about it. He was happy. It felt like a 50 pound brick just got taken off his shoulder). He should be doing something fun. So he gets up and looks around. He could put on a movie. But then again he’s seen them all about 20 times since Eddie left. Yep he’s got nothing. He could… yeah nope absolutely nothing. He glanced towards the phone and shrugs. He dials the only number he has memorized.

“Hello?”

“Hey Vick!”

“Steve! How are you?”

“I’m good! Really good actually. Uh random question.”

“Hm?”

“Are you and Robin working today? Or just over the weekend in general?”

“I mean we are supposed to be but we can always just close up the shop. Why what’s up.”

“You guys want to go out for a drink? I’ll drive up there.”

Steve could practically here her smiling over the phone. She sighed, “I’ll go inform the wife,” she giggled.

“Thanks Vick, you’re the best.”

“Tell me something I don’t know. When will you head up here?”

“…now?”

She laughed, “yeah okay. See you in a bit!”

“Bye,” he put the phone back on the wall. He walked to his room to find a good outfit.

He put on his skinny jeans because in Eddie’s exact words, “they are very…Flattering?” He searched for a good shirt. Thankfully he expanded from his polo collection. He accidentally pushed a shirt off of its hanger and he couldn’t just leave it on the ground like a normal person because that would ruin “the image”. He picks it up and looks at it. It was a Nirvana shirt Eddie had bought him saying that, “this band will slowly ease you into metal. Grungey but surprisingly good.” He didn’t think they were to bad. He threw on the shirt for fun. It looked alright so he decided to stick with it. Plus it was actually very comfy. He went to walk out of his room when he saw it. Why did he still have it? It’s been seven years. But there it is in the corner of his room. The stupid battle vest. He thought he gave it back to Eddie. He picked it up and went to hang it up when he caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror. I mean. He might as well. He threw on the jacket and… he looked good. Really good. He wondered why he never wore it before. He definitely pulled it off. He ran to the bathroom and grabbed the makeup bag he kept for when Robin came over (he swears it’s for Robin and Robin only). Go big or go home right? He pulled out three things: lipgloss (WHICH HE HAS NEVER USED AND IS ROBINS AND NOT HIS), mascara (WHICH HE HAS ALSO NEVER USED), and eyeliner. (Which he actually hadn’t ever used) He started with the lipgloss. Yep looks good like normal Wow Steve! He should have done this sooner. He put on the eyeliner. He had done this so many times on Robin it was practically muscle memory and… woah. It was… different to say the least. Then he put on the slightest bit of mascara on and checked himself out… for 5 minutes. He actually liked what he saw. He decided it was definitely time to go so he jumped in the car and drove up to his second home. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Next

EEEEEE. YOU GO STEVE. Baddie era fr (I’ll never say that again I swear. Dw it pained me too). I feel kinda bad just giving him piles of trauma. This one’s gooooodddd tho. Sorry if it’s short, it was originally supposed to be combined with the next one but I’m hoping that one will be kinda long. Am I projecting Nirvana onto him? Yes. Ofc. Nirvana is great and deserves more attention in fics. I am stressing a lot over this. I have a post up on my page that like gives updates and spoilers and stuff. So I was saying how I stopped reading my English book for this. Oops. I also don’t even have another chapter written after this so it’s gonna be a fun little weekend project! Also crazy to think I’m most likely half way done. Anyways now the stuff no one cares about. Comment or reblog if you want to be tagged. (I am not being aggressive when I capitalize this I just need people to see it.) MAKE SURE YOU HAVE YOUR TAGS ON GUYS!! Here’s the tag list!: @asbealthgn , @queerbeansworld , @bird-with-pencils , @vecnuthy , @artiststarme , @captain-winter-wolf-aehs , @piningapple @rowendyss @steve-themom-harrington @lfaewrites @azreadytodie @thequeenrainacorn @pastel-dreamscape @importanttimemachinenerd @jehneeg @swagaliciousmarie @mightbeasleep @krazyperson @milkshakeflower @fando-random @bumblebeecuttlefishes @swimmingbirdrunningrock @gregre369

I am going to cry I just found a much easier way to tag people. ⬇️⬇️