#if u do dm me ill be a little late to reply because it is. currently 2:51am..!

[pineappical]

would anybody be interested in commissioning me to help pay for some lab tests ?? feel free to dm me for info! (i accept payment through ko-fi only though 💔)

[coralstudiies]

My mom just ruined my morning by screaming at me for 1h n saying i cant go to a jc. How do i wake up early n be productive when im more active at night? Everyone in my life is coming together to watch me fail n the ppl who have hurt me r doing much better than me. Help? I dont want to listen to an unemployed, incompetent bitch tell me what i can and cant do when I have 3 tests to study for. What do u do when someone ruins ur morning? When its ur mom too? Im super fucking angry rn.

hello anon! Im so sorry about your mom ruining your morning because yeah bummer i hate ppl screaming at me and nagging at me too. but it happens so i guess u just gotta take a few deep breaths and let it go

well if you're more active at night(how night is night🙃🤙🏼) you have to make good use of your weekends. so for example instead of mugging from 10pm to 3am the next day, mug till 10pm, sleep, wake up at 3am, continue. ONLY ON WEEKENDS and this is just a random timing, if 5 hours of sleep is too little for you then you should get more sleep because sleep is important! you can put on some study with me videos, or use study timers with immersive modes (eg tide and forest) so that you cant exit your app on the phone to use other apps. study in short blocks of time (pomodoro method, tweak the duration of studying & break to best suit you) to maximise productivity.

also chill man!!! not everyone in ur life is coming together to watch you fail ok! thats just an exaggeration and its not a good one because it gives negative vibes. i think u need some time to relax and reset your thinking (maybe a nice warm shower?)

honestly if someone ruins my day i just rant for a while about him/her to someone i trust and then just forget it. especially with parents its not worth holding a grudge bc u literally gotta see them everyday even if they piss u off. just shut up, dont argue and continue doing what you were alr doing. or u can calmly tell her "ma im tryin to study, i have 3 tests, can i please continue studying?" which might work if you've never done that before. rmb to be polite so they have one less thing to scream about.

anyways!!! smile :^) its just another day with naggy parents amiright? u can get thru this lah dont worry +++ im here for u so u can always rant and vent to me. sorry for the late reply because i was busy with work ALREADY but ill alw try to reply future asks and dms asap ok!!! Jiayou anon and sending love<3 all the best for those 3 tests!

[wingedbeings]

Pls dont answer jf this is triggering but i just ckxjx im getting worse and ive tried all the things i was in therapy until covid happened i did medication i tried being open abt my trauam but none of it helped and i feel like im getting worse and iget set off so easily and it takes so long to get back to "normal" and im just shaking like a rabbit wondering why i feel like prey and lile ppl just want to s*xu*lly hurt me when NOTHING THAY BAD HAS EVER HAPPENED TO ME i feel so sick and scared

aa hey!! i'm rly rly sorry for getting to this so late D: i wasn't doing too well and couldn't manage giving proper replies n i felt you and the other ppl in my inbox deserved more than that!!

first off, i'm rly sorry you've been struggling so much lately and that you haven't been able to go to therapy and that the treatments you've tried so far haven't helped much, i really get that and its a really awful situation to be in ):

aa one thing i learned is that if you're still in a bad situation or if you're not stabilised it can also be really difficult for treatment and like trauma processing and meds to do more than like the bare minimum and sometimes can alsp like destabilise u more, so maybe that has something to do with it? D:

i rly hope u'll be able to get back to proper treatment soon and maybe try some different things out n like that you'll find the things that do help you and that so you can slowly work towards things not being as bad at least!! ♡

also!! pls know that nearly everyone with trauma feels the things that happened weren't rlly that bad and that you have no reason to be doing this poorly and that that in itself is a symptom of being traumatised a lot of the time!! the things that have happened to you were bad enough, especially because nothing bad should have happened at all in the first place! the things that happened to you were wrong and trauma in general is relative, what for one person causes severe trauma can leave another person doing okay after a little bit! and that isn't something we can affect ourselves either so pls don't feel responsible for that either!! it's not your fault that the things you went through affected you the way they did! ♡

and lastly i know this is rly difficult but sometimes it's not doable to get back to the normal you knew before traumatic events or mental illnesses worsening or developing, and that's not your fault! sometimes all you can do is working towards accepting that and trying to become more stable and to accomodate your struggles and over time learn to cope with symptoms better so they don't affect you as much, and generally to slowly rebuild your life around that, taking your current needs and abilities into account! things will become better overtime but sometimes striving for neurotypical standards of normal isn't doable nor healthy for you! it's okay to live a life with mental illnesses or disabilities and it is still possible to create a good and happy life around that! ♡

also pls know that if u ever want to talk abt anything or just like vent that my inbox n dms are always open!! ♡ and again i'm rly sorry it took so long for me to answer this D:

[chickenfetus]

HI!!! i like to request ALL of the flowery asks! btw i LOVE ur blog and maybe u????? idk 🌸🌸 (jk i love u alot)

who is this????????/ under cut bc i get rambly 

azalea: what’s one word that describes you?

lame lmao

baby’s breath: what did you want to be when you were a kid?

honestly? my answer’s like yours jen because i wanted to be an astronaut but also a vet and then a few years later i wanted to be something else of a whole different profession but now i know what reality is like and i have no clue what i wanna be whoops

begonia: are you a messy or clean person?

i hate seeing my desk/workspace be messy but i cant bring myself to clean it up either???? bc im lazy 

bleeding heart: has your heart ever been broken?

hMMMMm mmm idk i dont think so

bluebell: do you drink tea or coffee?

i drink tea more than i drink coffee but i drink water more than i drink tea i drink water like. everyday lmao obviously but i drink a lot of water its my brand now

buttercup: what are five things that make you apologetically happy?

what does this mean why is the word apologetically there i cancelled it lmao no negativity in this house

my favorite people (u know who + my friends)

when people answer my anon asks and . they respond with a long reply/seem really happy responding thats my fav fam

this is getting real anime but when i get an UR/4* from scouting 

finding an anime/manga/book that perfectly suits my taste

im very tempted to just say water bc idk what else 2 say 

calla: what’s your favorite book?

ive only read 3 whole books this year but i recommend all of them 

challenger deep - neal shusterman (i could go on about this book for days honestly its so interesting and even though its told by the same person it has two kind of perspectives because there are two settings, that didnt make sense but this book is my new favorite)

see you in the cosmos - jack cheng (i love this one too because its just so warm? made me a little emo but its really good and i love how unique it is, text type wise)

a monster calls - patrick ness (this was something i heard from my school first so i didnt know if i really wanted to get it but its actually pretty good?) 

carnation: what are your five most played songs?

i cant really check using the music app bc i added the songs at different timings so itll be inaccurate ill just do most played song from each band/group

again - astro (this is their best song dont @ me)

letting go - day6

all in/stuck - monsta x

death by a strawberry - dance gavin dance

check yes juliet - we the kings

chrysanthemum: what are you afraid of?

i may not b a child but im still afraid of the dark bc my imagination is wild im also afraid of bugs and disappointing others nice oh shit im also afraid of asking for things

daffodil: what’s your astrological sign?

capricorn 

dahlia: what’s your favorite band?

this question was made for me its day6

daisy: which ‘friends’ character do you relate to the most?

ive never watched friends 

dandelion: are you an extrovert or an introvert?

in between!!!!!

geranium: how has your day been?

its been good!!! i managed to ask my mum 2 take me to hair place so i can get it cut finally and im working on updating my tumblr pages and doing all my tags

hydrangea: what’s your dream job?

pass

iris: who’s your celebrity crush?

pass

lavender: what’s one of the best gifts you’ve ever received?

oH FUCK FAM my friends got me a kermit toy for my birthday i lvoe it 2 dEATH

lily: what’s something you’ve achieved that you’re really proud of?

i got first in my class once wow amazing that was 2 years ago i wish i was as good as the me from 2 years ago 

marigold: what would you like to do more of, but don’t ?

well i want 2 b more hardworking but guess thats too late

morning glory: are you an early bird or a night owl?

now that school is over and i have no reason to wake up early ive become neither which is saddening because... i like waking up at 7am on weekends and doing things early but now i wake up at like 9-10am and i still sleep at 11pm  

orchid: what’s the last movie you saw?

i really dont remember?? maybe uh guardians of the galaxy?? i dont remember who i watched it with and when but it was good actually i remember who i watched it with nvm 

pansy: do you believe in love at first sight?

i dont really believe in romantic love anymore 

peony: what does your url mean?

chicken fetus means an egg

periwinkle: what are you thankful for?

god get ready folks im gonna go on my biggest boxy rant ever...

so boxy is my friend who ive been mutuals for over a year and our first common interest is love live and haikyuu so we had that to talk about but im bad at keeping conversations with ppl on tumblr so that ended quickly but earlier this year or late last year i made a twitter and told people on here about it and she followed me and i didnt really mind/pay attention to the stuff she posted/rted uNTIL. until that fateful day... june 25th... at like 8pm? she rted a pic of mister brian kang with dumb minion glasses on and ok maybe i do believe in love at first sight? bc wow!!!!! whos this dumbass with minion glasses and the fluffiest hair ??? so i slide into boxy’s dm.. expecting an explanation and she gives me a good one saying how brians from a band (i would later find out), day6 and im not a fan of kpop, never have been.. ive only watched like some kpop mvs bc i love my friends so i expect myself to listen to them and get over them as soon as im done. boxy my friend, bless HER she sends me all of their mvs from congratulations to i smile and i watch the first one - i smile and me? i start smiling and i can feel myself getting excited because holy fuck theyre a band! they play fucking instruments??? and at this point im already whipped then i move onto how can i say and that shit blew my mind let me tell you.. so because of boxy... i get to where i am now, proudly stanning 3 groups and if it were not for her i wouldve never gotten into mx as well... boxy is just?? really important to me her impact is just that great?? so im super!! sUPER thankful for her and i dont think she’ll ever see this but boxy i love u thank u so much!! boxy gave me more than one reason to live, and not just exist?? without her i wouldve never been able to make so many (like 2 but hEY) new friends and this probably got so long idk im just really thankful for boxy thank u lord for blessing us with boxy (@/youngkwhom on twitter) (kittenma on tumblr) i hope shes happy forever and i also hope she has good days for the rest of her life?? boxy deserves it i lvoe u boxy

petunia: where were you ten years ago?

10 years ago i was like 6 probably watching pokemon or some shit and getting glasses

poinsettia: where would you like to be in ten years?

dead thanks

poppy: what’s your online persona?

i dont understad the meaning of persona but an egg?????? 

rose: who’s the last person you spent quality time with?

all my classmates in an exam hall for 2 hours, quality time indeed

snapdragon: what are your goals?

pass

sunflower: what’s your favorite quote?

i think i had one before but i forgot so maybe it wasnt my favourite lol idk i dont have one now

tulip: if you had three wishes, what would you wish for?

for all of my favourite people to be happy forever

a good future

i want astro, mx and day6 to get an award for all of their hardwork thanks

violet: what’s one thing most people don’t know about you?

i was gonna say smth negative but lets not hm m m i? ?? ill put smth irl ppl probably dont know either uh hhh i guess?? that i eat a lot?? but also get full really quickly but then really hungry right after that idk thanks digestion

zinnia: do you believe in magic?

no ????/ idk is there any evidence that magic exists 

JEN !!! thank u so much for asking even tho u probably asked just to get back at me but this was still fun ask memes will never get boring bro,. i love u and i hope u have a good evening also i love ur blog too moon anon probably already told u

to anyone who actually bothered reading through this mess - thank you and i hope you have a good day/night too!!

[bluealicerose]

Hhhhhhhhhhhhhmthis is probably gonna sound reaaaaaaaaally bad (and a bit long winded, rambly, immensely petty, and quite frankly all over the place, Jiminy Crickets) but--

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Does anyone know when V/!n/ny (or I guess any/all the V!/n/e/s/a/u/ce streamers for that matter, if applicable) stopped actively* using the r-word??? I’ve sorta pinpointed it to say about maybeeeeeee sometime during or after 2013, but I don’t watch every single stream so I can’t tell for certain (and tbh I really don’t have the heart to try for this exact reason).

Aside from the fact of the r-word Still-Indeed-and-without-a-Doubt-Being-a-Slur-That-People-Should-Seriously-Stop-Using-because-of-Said-State-of-Being-a-Slur, hearing and/or seeing the usage of it uh. Puts me in a really bad state of distress, so to speak tbh (and while I know I can just shut off the stream it’s often too little, too late since there’s no telling if and/or even when this comes up [the fan community itself also has an issue with this honestly, such as regularly and unapologetically using “autism”/”autistic” as insults, or just using ableist terms and being just so nasty overall. Though I guess to be fair, that’s not necessarily something a small group of people let alone one individual person can really control, sadly {kinda the main reason why when I do happen to catch streams live, I just hide the chat. Tends to make the stream run smoother and in better quality, anyway}])

I absolutely hold no personal ill-will towards V!n/n/y or really anybody in and/or associated with the V!/ne/sa/uc/e team (hell, he and the other streamers have made me have a good time and laugh innumerable times) but this has been a really major concern of mine for the longest time and if it has been addressed to him by other folks already, idk why it’s still a bit of a problem...(as far as my perception goes, anyway. Most people, especially in video game internet circles, may not see it as such and dismiss it as ~SJW bullshit~ or w/e).

I’ve been thinking that maybe I should just email him directly about it, but I have my own concerns about just how that will pan out. I really don’t want to say the wrong thing, and I definitely don’t want to come off as some preachy holier-than-thou jerk (especially as a first impression since I don’t interact much in the first place). Besides, the more I think about it, the more pointless I feel it’d be in the end? Idk, if I’m just gonna interact only to complain then I think it’d be best to just keep quite so as to avoid a bad image. It wouldn’t be worth it.

*(I say “actively” because in a relatively recent stream [I think it was the “A/w/f/u/l W*n/te/r J/a/m 2018″ video, idk], he did say it from reading some text in a game he was playing. The point is [and at the risk of coming off as potentially presumptuous], I guess he doesn’t use it generally but if given the opportunity, like if it comes up in something he’s gonna read aloud on stream, then he does.

...Kinda. Really freaking disheartened about that tbh but wcyd)

...Idk I’m just confused...Like even though I’ve had some good times with it, I honestly often can’t watch many older streams because I know he wasn’t....as mature or rather perhaps as mindful as he is now, but if in the case it comes up in newer streams then idk if I can really commit to watching V!n/e/sa/u/c/e anymore, especially if I have to persistently be on edge worrying whether or not that harmful word (or any at all, for that matter) will be used. It...truly does make me feel that awful.

Anyway, guess that’s mostly all I wanna say about this. I know this is petty and probably ridiculous to complain about but I had to get it out...Feel free to disagree or agree.

Note: anyone is free to respond to this but I ask to PLEASE not use any specified names of streamers or terms without particles l*k/e* t,h/i/s and etc. so as to avoid having this post show up in search results, please. Likes, asks, replies, and DMs about this are fine but I’m wary about reblogs since I really don’t want this to spread if by chance it gets taken the wrong way or I’m given flack for it.Thanks.