#if you have more info on this or disagree with my conclusion do let me know!!

[slowlydiving]

because I vaguely remembered hearing something bad about kavecon as a concert streaming service, I did some googling and found multiple descriptions(/rants) like this

basically I think since stayg seems to be an alternative option that's also available for international fans, it's probably the safer bet, or at the very least you should pay with paypal

[raguerel]

Im actually so glad a lots of people like q!phil and enthusiastic to actually characterize him the way he deserves because his treatment by the fandom in d/smp is CRAZY him from an actual person with smpe! bg reduce to just a ‘support cast’ ‘father figure’ and that it

there are reason why cc!phil step back a bit from rp because imagine you trying to do something to your character and the fandom just treated him so shit and ignore everything he made like amigaaa

For philza enjoyer I am so glad qsmp exists and he finally getting treated decent

And he good at rp too! He a person who doing constant lore it not a big lore stream but he always do lore with interaction! and I am kinda sad that most people just say oh phil? he doesn’t do lore!

Like he almost getting the same treatment from an old fandom lmaooooo

Something about q!wil and q!phil dynamic as father-son ( because cc!wil never lets go of his and phil dynamic after smpe! )

You kinda realize that if their relationship are just friends q!wil excuse for treating q!phil wouldn’t be look over by the fandom this hard

Hell if the person who are ‘father’ is q!wilbur his interaction with q!philza would not be going look over so much!

Them back at the maze q!wil despite the fact that he never been there calling q!phil that he doesn’t care about his child calling him that he weren’t doing enough

It not a valid answer that q!wilbur treating q!phil like shit because ‘phil answer him about the maze are unclear’ YOU STILL DONT TREAT PEOPLE YOU CARE LIKE THAT!

especially the one that been taking care of your child ! while still having his own!!!

‘They both are wrong in the maze!’

I strongly disagree with that statement Imagine raising a child for 6+ months and being there for them in every pain they have helping them grow up to deal with their disappearance ALONE.

And getting yourself kidnapped along the way when you try to find them

To get called that ‘you don't care about them at all do you’ IS WILD

Him just lashing out is like a minimal reaction to me tbh

One things I do understand q!wil pov that he is overwhelmed since everything around him is new.

( that still doesn’t give him any right to treat q!phil like that btw )

but I don’t think q!wil realize that q!phil have responsibilities more than just him.

All the ways to the maze Phil constantly getting whisper ( in canon I called them text Ig lmao ) that he needed to be in this mission not only for the information but for other islanders especially in order to help them as well

And he did told wil about this! that this may be the only chance to see if the federation know anything about tallulah! He did tell him that! And Wil still wanted to leave!

So Phil before lashing out told wil a lots of info that are very important but people just ignoring it

ps. I honestly just don't want a c!phil treatment to happened to q!phil since I still see people calling c!tommy c!phil’s child 😭

So in conclusion, being family doesn’t give any character right to treat other like ass ty for listening to my ted talk/ rambler

( I genuinely think that q!wilbur is a good father for tallulah they care about each other so much and all of the story components you can tell but can we please stop bringing c!fundy to q!wilbur story like I see a lots of people saying that llulah get a father fundy never had and I am like bro they are different character and have nothing related to each other 😭😭😭😭 )

[whatiwillsay]

Hey Cam, could you provide more insight into spade-riddles and why we shouldn't trust them? I know you've touched on this before but I don't know where/when. Obviously I know they're harmful/a LSK shipper but I was looking through their first post on their riddle history (just for shits and gigs, no worries) and I was surprised by how many of them allude to insider info on Tay/future releases before the public had knowledge of them. What do you make of this? Or is she fudging the dates/lying?

sure babe here is a post detailing how spade-riddles fakes her insiders (there is hard conclusive proof in this post with receipts. one of her "insiders" came to me and detailed how they were a troll, gave me the "password" they used with her, and so i used the "password" to assume the role of insider and named the kaylor baby "isla" for my friend cara who likes that name, go search spade-riddles for the name isla lol now it's part of their network of theories)

here is a post detailing how she bullies, harasses, and outs people who disagree with her

but three babe like... let's talk

i am saying this so gently but surely you understand that if you say enough random noncommittal things in "riddle" form or like her most recent troll insider does, in weird fanfic prose, that it will appear like they had insider knowledge even if they didn't. taylor does so much, has so much art, has so many interviews and so many lyrics and public moments and outfits and personas that you could write any random bit of prose and get some kind of "hit" off it.

let's take an example of a spade riddle they considered to be a correct bit of info/tea shared or a "hit":

so on january 16th 2019 spade said "take a sip, you might just get lost in the clouds." and that was supposed to be a hint because there are clouds on the lover album cover and included in some of the imagery for the album (music videos, etc) but like... what taylor era doesn't mention clouds? clouds are mentioned on i know places and in the song carolina, and storms which of course always contain clouds are mentioned on MOST of her albums, and clouds are represented in a TON of her music videos (basically any of them with a sky!)

also "you just might get lost in the clouds" could mean ANYTHING. it could represent getting caught up in a media "storm" around taylor, it could mean "taylor is hiding what she's doing and you won't see it", it could have been an EXCELLENT clue for the lavender haze music video but that song didn't even exist when that riddle was written and obviously, the music video wasn't planned and storyboarded until years later so it can't be that.

and "take a sip" could have meant anything. taylor could have released drinking merch to go with false god, or a line of sippy cups lol, or could have used a turn of a phrase in an interview during the lover era like she could have said something about "drink the kool-aid" or "you can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink" and that could have been a "hit" for the "take a sip line"

even if clouds hadn't been featured on the album cover there's an infinite number of ways "taking a sip" and "getting lost in the clouds" could have been represented by taylor during the lover era. every music video she drinks in she is "taking a sip" and that happens all over her different eras before and after the lover era.

if there's an infinite slew of things that can happen that prove a prediction correct then it's not really a prediction it's just a random series of words thrown on a page that don't prove any type of insider connection.

here is what ACTUAL insider info looks like:

this is a hard, concrete, falsifiable claim. it can be proven correct or incorrect (it was correct because my insiders are good and legit lol). there is no gray area where it can be interpreted after the fact to be correct even if it was random words. it's just a hard claim and down the line, people will be able to see if it was true or not!

for something to be a true claim of insider info it has to be falsifiable or what good is it?

a real claim supported by insider info should have read something like this, "i have seen the cover art for ts7 and some of the aesthetics for the era and clouds are featured! namely on the album cover and in the first music video."

if they had said that then fuck yeah that's a hard claim that can either be proven true or false. they didn't say that. they mentioned drinking and getting lost in the clouds. anyway, i'm rambling but i hope i've illustrated the difference between trolling and randomly throwing out words and phrases so you can try and get a "hit" in the future.

for fun let's write a spade riddle/pumpkin insider claim and then over the next year (or maybe on the next album) i can promise you SOMETHING in a song lyric, mv, piece of album art, live performance, interview taylor has, clothing/jewelry she wears, merch will appear to prove this was some bit of insider tea but i'm just pulling this out of my ass rn.

"In the still of the dawn, the eye of the storm has passed and the sun dances with the birds"

boom i can promise you something will happen over the next year or two that makes it look like that was some kind of insider prediction because it's vague enough that a TON of stuff could be a hit for it.

the last thing i'll say is if you want to learn more about how seers and psychics troll their audiences just like spade-riddles does you should go listen to the episode i did this past summer on Nostradamus who was a famous seer from hundreds of years ago.

[fairuzfan]

hi! I've seen you talking about archiving a few times and I wanted to ask:

how do you think we should go (if at all) with documenting israeli atrocities?

i am specifically thinking of that horrible trend on tiktok where IOF soldiers kidnap west bank palestinians, blindfold them, and force them to listen to that godawful kid's song. i feel like it's important to keep an archive of the people doing these things, because once palestine is free, they should be held accountable for their crimes

but I've seen your posts saying you worry about uploading that kind of content to archive.org, in case israelis use this to punish the palestinians in the video. so, im wondering if you have any idea of how we should go about keeping this kind of evidence - if you think we should keep it at all

thank you for replying. i know it's not worth much but im sending you love and strength. and I will do everything in my power to ensure palestine is freed

Hello, thanks for sending this in.

I'd suggest taking a look at this post (click) for more info about social media archiving. But I do want to let you know about some personal thoughts regarding those videos:

I'm honestly not sure (at least personally) if videos like that should be saved without explicit consent of the victims, mostly because they're visual accounts of Palestinians being humiliated and, frankly, just tortured for pure enjoyment. Archiving is a wonderful practice that can allow us to remember some things or hold people accountable to their crimes. But regarding these sorts of videos, I'm not sure saving them on our personal drive will be of much help in the long run, when there's videos of Gazans saying their last words being taken down — of course I am *not* suggesting we shouldn't save those videos at all. I'm also not a seasoned veteran archivist. But I can say, that I question for who those videos will most benefit in the long run. Will they be needed to hold the perpetrators accountable? I don't know, really. In what way would they be held accountable? Through international court? I have very little faith in the methods we've currently established to hold people accountable.

I cannot think of a reasonable way to hold them accountable that cannot just rely on the testimony of the Palestinians affected, the witnesses, and the proxy-witnesses (meaning us and people who view those videos) giving their accounts.

I'm not discouraging archiving these types of videos — I do think it's important to a certain level to archive them but I'm unsure of ways we can do that safely and respectfully so that the victims don't have to live with this looming over their heads for the rest of their lives. Again, though, if you receive permission from the victims themselves, I can't exactly disagree with any sort of archiving as long as they give the greenlight with everything you do. I feel like it (personally) is a better choice not to archive them.

SO really, this is just a long-winded way of me saying I don't know LOL. I've yet to reach a conclusion about this myself. I can only point you to resources of people who have been doing this much longer than I have, which WITNESS is pretty good. I can only ask you to do what you feel is right as a person who wants to fight for the safety and sanctity of each human being. Just so you know, I myself won't be archiving those videos. I know what they do to my people — we've been passing down stories for nearly a century now. I think leaving it in the control of Palestinians who are affected is probably the best course of action and the one I plan on taking.

[horatioo]

so like the thing about the limbus descriptions, right. the ones for the promo material, the documents dante has or whatever. where it lists the particulars of each character.

theyre completely fucking inaccurate.

so lets take ishmael for example.

ishmael is described as "carrying out missions without much complaint" and "having sound judgement". one of these is true and its not the one about her not complaining lol.

however, there are times where her judgement isn't sound. like, at all. off the top of my head, i can think of her jumping to the most negative conclusions immediately several times, such as with sang yi, with heathcliff, with several other incidents...

this isnt to say she doesnt have sound judgement...but it is to say that the description isn't that accurate. and she's one of the ones i DO agree with the particular for! (i've seen people say she isn't ocd on here before, but personally relate way too much to her issues to agree.)

there's more examples of these, too!

outis is made to look suspicious from the start - and yeah sure she's fishy but i don't think she's nearly as traitorous as the description implies.

heathcliff is described as "simple-minded" and as having violent outbursts for no reason, when neither of these are true (i disagree with the perception that he doesnt have anger issues - you can have those and be self-aware/controlled lol)

yi sang's documentation lacks crucial information, as does everyone else's - and yes i'm aware it's promo material, but even promo material and removed content is important with project moon LMAOOOO never forget when they brought back several removed abnos for ruina

hong lu's is...complicated, because there's a chance that the writer just bought into his "stupid rich kid" act. but also not really accurate. not really sure where bachelor comes in but i assume we'll see that in his canto

sinclair

basically all of the sinners - barring gregor who...doesn't really have much to explain about him to be fair - have inaccurate or missing info. and no, i don't mean "they didnt explain yi sangs backstory in depth", i mean they straight up did not mention his self-isolation when they DID mention similar maladaptive habits in other sinners (don, heathcliff, rodya, etc)

the fact that we are given inaccurate information from the start makes me wonder exactly what the goal here is. idk how this relates to the story. i need to connect dots. but here let me segue into my actual point:

people trust in these descriptions way, way, way too much.

sure, yes, on the surface it seems like they're accurate. but after canto i - even during canto i - it becomes glaringly obvious that they aren't. at all.

and yeah i know it's whatever but i'm really sick of seeing abusive heathcliff and "donqui is so stupid LOLLLL" takes everywhere. this is more aimed at twitter but yeah

idk im just annoyed. no ending here i just rambled

[philomaela]

3, 8, and 25 for the choose violence ask game!

3. screenshot or description of the worst take you've seen on tumblr

I mean obviously there are a lot of Vikings ones that I disagree with... that's boring (also I fought those fights in real time and now I'm over it lol). I'm gonna commit to choosing violence and pick the last jedi.

The take on Rose as being someone who abused Finn and was a terrible person the film was trying to "pretend" was a good person. It was essentially this long post about how Rose's initial introduction marked her as a terrible person who abused Finn and the end of the film was terrible for shipping Finn with his abuser. It's one I hated very much and its one I dislike all the more because I do agree with some of the points made even as I really disagree with the conclusion (and one glaring implication that we will get to).

Because here's the thing, even as a TLJ fan I agree with a lot of the criticism TLJ gets, including and actually especially about Finn's arc within that film. I like the overall idea and some beats, but I think that there was a lot that the film missed out on by having Rose operate as "teacher" rather than having them both share their experiences and allowing Finn to come to his realizations a little differently. And I would go further because I could choose violence on this subject too but actually let me get back to the topic at hand...

Back to the terrible Rose takes, I think the reason it galled me so much is because while people were very correctly discussing the issues surrounding Disney's racism and the films treatment of Finn (and John Boyega).... at the same time their arguments about Rose often had... implications that I found very uncomfortable.

Because the thing is... Rose's intro... that people found abusive... it's a parallel to Rey's first meeting with Finn. This woman sees him, makes an incorrect (but reasonable) assumption based on the info she has on hand that this guy needs to be taken down, and takes him down. Then, after he explains, she realizes what is actually going on, helps him, and then they work together. Rey is violent towards Finn in her first meeting with him too. But with her it's a cute rom-com right, with her it's a sign of how much she's fiery? Like I think people fully had a blindspot to the disparity of their treatment of Rey vs Rose.

And part of the reason I think it's so bad is because it didn't have to be like this! I think you absolutely can critique the films and Rey and Rose as characters... you can very easily criticize the decision to treat Finn like this. So it's disappointing to me I guess, that people chose to, at the same time, kind of join in on the racist pile-on that Rose (and KMT) was getting. Like she was getting it from all corners of the internet... but what else is new for actors of color I guess.

8. common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about

Switching gears and moving to a fandom nobody but me cares about: Psych. I cannot believe Shawn x Gus (Shus) is not more popular than Shawn x Lassiter. I mean, I can believe it because people are often wrong. But come on! Shawn and Gus would DIE for each other, Gus claims Shawn on his taxes, Shawn and Gus practically have a secret language! They literally joined a dating show for a case and the girl revealed that she couldn't really separate them because they were so close. I mean, keep in mind they are Holmes and Watson... and yet people basically ignored them.

25. common fandom complaint that you're sick of hearing

I'm gonna be honest, my thing here... it's pretty much for fandoms that I am not a part of.... Basically when like hugely popular tv shows are popular on tumblr and people are complaining about fandom trends (everybody likes X, Y is so prevalent, everyone ignores this ship). I want to be clear, I think you should always criticize things like racism, homophobia, misogyny, ableism... those things will run rampant in a lot of fandoms, because they run rampant in society at large, those aren't trends, they're not what I'm talking about. But like if your fandom is big enough that you can create an entire subculture around character B even though character A is more popular in the "main stream", I think you shouldn't take that for granted. Your sub culture has sub cultures, that's not nothing, a lot of fandoms aren't that big and can't sustain that. Lol, this might be me being upset and petty, I feel like none of my fandoms are big enough to even get to that point. No sub-sub culture for me!

[ducavalentinos]

What is your personal Top Ten of Borgia nonfiction books, and why would you choose them?

Ohh, ok, I don’t think I have a top ten??? but let’s see how this goes! lol I'll separate it in two sections: non-fiction books about the Borgia family as a whole and non-fiction books about individual members of the family, (tbh just Rodrigo and Cesare) I’ll focus on secondary sources, but let me know if you also meant/want primary sources :))

Non-Fiction Books about the Borgia Family:

The Borgias: The Hidden History, G.J Meyer

His book has some flaws, which I’ve talked about here in the past so I won’t get into it again haha, but overall I do think a decent bio about the Borgia family. He did made an effort to present something new, and he does have at least a little bit of critical sense about the sources which created the history of the Borgias as we know today, and also like I said before, I adore the structure of his book, how he intertwined the chapters about the Borgias with chapters about papal history/other noble families, it’s an engaging and interesting read.

The Borgias, Ivan Cloulas

Ok so, although his book reads like a gossip magazine with a lot of unsubstantial claims  I feel I have to include him on this list only because his book begins with the Borgias from València and it ends back at Spain, with Juan’s son, arriving at Francisco de Borja, most commonly known as St. Francis Borgia. It’s one of the few books about the Borgia family where you have a more detailed account about these family members and I like some of his thoughts about the descendants of Rodrigo Borgia and their shared similarities, being employed in different ways. It also has a cool chapter analysing the history of the Borgias through the centuries, I don’t agree with some of his conclusions, but I really enjoyed reading that chapter, so yeah.

The Borgia Chronicles: 1414-1572, Mary Hollingsworth

The reason I like her book is maybe precisely why some people don’t I suppose, it is dry and it mainly sticks to presenting the information available about the family, instead of sensationalistic writing with a high dose of personal judgments and claims/narratives which don’t have enough evidence to back it up, that within the Borgia historical literature is a rare thing to find. Overall I do think Borgia authors seems more interested/concerned about showing the reader what they think about the family and the many mysteries surrounding them, than actually laying out in an objective manner the historical material available and letting the reader reach their own judgments and conclusions about it, you know. Hollingsworth, for the most part, tends to do the former in her book and refrain from doing the latter, so yeah there might be some mistakes iirc, and it’s not a book for everyone, but I do like it, and I find a decent source to check/compare info about the Borgia family in the english language.

Non-Fiction books about Rodrigo Borgia, (Pope Alexander VI)

Material for a History of Pope Alexander VI, his relatives and his times, Peter de Roo.

The reason this one is on my list is because no matter how much we may agree or disagree with his presentation of Rodrigo, his life and his papacy, there is no denying he gathered an extensive, if not the most extensive, historical material about Rodrigo/his family and it’s amazing to read it. I also think he lays out his arguments in a very coherent way, attaching his evidence alongside it, his thought process is not all over the place, and that’s something I appreciate a lot when reading historical bios. He also does not throw Cesare under the bus in order to defend Rodrigo or explain his actions, De Roo is as just with Rodrigo as he is with Cesare, which it’s another rare thing to find with Borgia authors, especially Rodrigo’s authors.

Non-fiction books about Cesare Borgia

Cesare Borgia: Duca di Romagna, notizie e documenti raccolti e pubblicati, Edoard Alvisi.

I don’t even know what else to say about this biography without fangirling all over again lol, I’ll leave some of my thoughts while reading his bio that I posted here and here :)) and I’ll complement by saying it is my one and only favorite Borgia biography as well as the best one made about Cesare imo. Every time I remember Cesare has such a high quality historical work about his life, it warms my heart and I feel so grateful to il signore Alvisi, god bless his soul for the necessary, honest, historical work he did there.

Cesare Borgia: La Sua Vita, La Sua Famiglia, I Suoi Tempi, Gustavo Sacerdote.

The reason I include him is mostly because of his research, like it happens with de Roo, it is impossible to deny his excellent research about Cesare, combined with Alvisi’s, you really do have all the available historical material about Cesare’s life, and it was great to be able to absorb so much information in a in-deepth way. I don’t have a good opinion about him as an historian or as Cesare’s biographer, but as a researcher he is one of the best I’ve read, and the way in which he exposes his research should be the standard for any historical work imo, he was incredibly meticulous and made it a point to present as much of the official documents in their integrity as possible, instead of just selective bits. His bibliography is also a thing of beauty, super organized and thorough.

The Life of Cesare Borgia, Rafael Sabatini

The reason is really that love his writing and his sense of humour. He is dramatic, but my kind of dramatic perhaps lol, and he rightly addresses the big double standards when it comes to the Borgia family (while they lived and even more so after their deaths, until Sabatini’s own day), as well as points out the flaws within the main primary sources about them, most of all: Cappello, Guicciardini and Sanuto, with a justified wave of indignation + amazing sarcasm which for me, it’s satisfying to read. His examination of Gregorovius’ view and claims about Cesare, for example, it’s truly one of his best moments, so yeah, I have a fondness for his bio, even though I am aware of its flaws, and I mostly disagree with his personal view about Cesare as a man and his politics.

El Princípe del Renacimiento: Vida y Leyenda de César Borgia, José Catalán Deus

So, putting aside that I love reading in spanish and I find the spanish section of the Borgia historical literature quite interesting, actually, the reason I included this one is because, as far as I know, I think it is the best one in the spanish language about Cesare, it carries much of the flaws and vices of his historical literature, yes, but I do think it a decent bio. Also it was an important book for me when I read it at the time, because it made me re-think much of the claims and presentations made about the Borgia family by the previous authors I had read, and go deeper into the historical material to see if there was any evidence for it. I think much like Meyer, Catalán Deus also attempted to deliver something new, and advance in a way the way Cesare’s historical figure has been studied and presented, and I appreciate that effort, it’s one of the books I check info from time to time, too. Ps: it’s not on my top 10, I don’t like the book as a whole, but I can’t help but to add on this list Marion Johnson’s The Borgias, for one simple and superficial reason: the artwork is soooo pretty 💖 it’s hardcover with quality pages and beautiful coloured images, and to this day it is the most beautiful bio I own about the Borgias, so I had to say something djsdjsdjs, excuse me here. Andd I think those are it, anon?? it’s possible I might be forgetting some, I spent such a long time reading about them, it’s hard for me to remember all of the books, especially with my bad memory lol, but if I remember other ones later, I’ll reblog this and add to this list! Thank you for sending this ask, and I’m so sorry for the time I took to answer it! :( I hope you still see this <33

[heavensarmy777-blog]

FAQ

Q. Is this an emulator/rom?

A. No, I will never use emulators/roms ever.

Q. Personal info?

A. I won't be giving any personal info out, where I live, age, birthday, anything along those lines. I seen to many YouTubers have to move because they show their face or shown something out their window. This leads to overzealous fans showing up at their door and to much fan mail, getting them in trouble with landlords/post offices. I really don't want that attention and I would like to leave my house whenever without that fame. Now I know I am missing out on some great things too like live events, my own booths, live shows on stage and meeting people and letting them know it's HEAVENSARMY. That other interaction is something I know I would like but the other end makes me believe the no cam is better choice personally and game wise.

Q. Can I be your Mod?

A. I have a strong requirement for Mods. I need to talk to you and know if your like me and wish to help this channel out, Also looking for an active Mod which means I would like to see you here daily, since I live stream daily. I don't want someone just ban hammering, I want them to ask questions to find out if they're trolling, purposefully trying to disrupt the live stream, or if they're having a bad day to just talk to them. I turned a few people away from getting banned by talking to them, then they relaxed and enjoyed this channel/game.

Q. What does your name mean?

A. It has multiple meanings. It's a goal I set for myself, a sassy reply to a question, a name that took all the spaces on the PS3 naming system, another way to say a place that is used even in games like The Legend Of Zelda: Wind Waker. If you were hoping I was religious, I wont agree or disagree. How I answered that before is watch me and come to your own conclusion, but I will never make a stance on this topic. If you think I am or not, that’s your decision. I don't focus on me hence the no cam.

Q. Why no cam?

A. It distracts people from the game which is opposite of my channel. I watched other channels with cams have to deal with more that having fun playing games. I seen YouTubers have to move because people found where they live and it became unsafe as I said in my personal info Q&A. I know some fans mean well but others go to far and I don't want that type of fame. I want to showcase the game and commentary, not me and look at what I do for reaction videos. Personal matter, I once watched (not saying name) and when I finished watching the episode I had no idea what game it was. That is what i want to avoid, focusing on you, the viewer and the game so we can have something similar to talk about. I started of with no money and I sold my 3DS and so much more to get this channel started. I could've went with a cam/mic or mic. I went with the cheaper just mic because money is something a teen wouldn't just have. There is also another YouTuber when I read his Bio that I agreed with and made my mind up that I wanted that and not the cam popularity.

Q. Did you really break the 2000 streams in a row record?

A. Yes. Yes I did back on December 14 2020. I am way past the record now and aim to make the record really difficult to beat for the next live streamers. Thanks everyone so far who supported in any way through the record and after beating the record.

Q. Can I send you a link?

A. I will ask first what it is and no you can't send it in chat. If I allow it I will ask you to whisper it to me and I can send it through chat. Spamming you channel link does get deleted, especially if you never engaged with this channel or anything.

Q. What topics do you avoid?

A. I stay away from Religious, Politics, Personal Matters like Family and Relationships, Financial Challenges and Earnings, Gossip and Health. These topics ends chat activity more times then helps and I do not want that so I will time-out or ban you based on the severity and the reasoning why your starting these topics in the first place. Since these topics in the past can have a chance to upset someone, or unlock a sad, depressing story to bring down the mood, so don't do that. I want you to avoid and I will avoid these topics so all people, where they are and what they believe in can enjoy the game, game-play, commentary and discussions since that what you should be here in the first place. Now just because you show up and say, I had a bad day at work or school is not going to get you timed/banned. As I said the severity of the details on which you go down will, also I can't join in. I already know the rest of the world and you have bad days/weeks and even more but my channel is the break from that stress and anxiety. I won't be the streamer to bring up these topics to remind you and instead focus on positive happy stuff.

Q. Is this a blind play-through/1st time playing?

A. Most likely yes. I answered this on Episode 1 of this play-through right at the beginning. This is gone over in the Rules in more detail which I hope you read by now.

Q. I keep hearing you want a guide, can you not look up a walk-through yourself?

A. To answer the first part, I am looking for someone who can be around for the full stream, know how to give full, detailed instructions and don’t mind looking up a guide/walk-through themselves. Also there is a 10 second delay between us so you can give the directions before I get there so I don’t have to wait too long. Also, if you could type out the whole set of directions like “go to the next room with a round table in the middle, look right and up, you should see an open vent” I had soo many bad directions in the past I had to write this up. Saying turn around, the other way, over there, no not that way, is terrible directions and confusing. Why? Because we have that delay, I also move and go to your last directions and now the other way is actually confusing and not clear directions. Also also, it doesn't usually work, but one step one word directions are confusing/missed due to chat and other people talking, so if you can write it all one one big sentence that would be great. If you want to see why I wrote this, there is Mega Man X2: E1 and TES: Oblivion not sure what episode and many more.

Now for the second part. I tried once on a live stream using a guide. I do not like having no movement, me not talking and ignoring chat. I also can’t multitask that much, reading and actually processing that information to then do so on live stream while trying to keep up with chat is too much for me. I tried and I can’t do it.

Q. What games and systems do you stream?

A. The Systems are PS1, 2, 3, 4, 5, PSP, PSTV, Xbox, Xbox 360, Nintendo 64, Wii, Wii U Switch and PC. Meaning all the games I own list, some are hard copy most are digital. For each system that has an online store, this is where I get most of my games off the .com USA price lists. The PC gives Steam, MMO's with other apps like GOG, Battle.net, Bethesdia.net and so much more.

Q. What’s the next game your going to play?

A. HAHA I really don’t know 99% of the time. I even have games I plan to play but when I get home or a spark/ idea happens I switch before the stream starts. My list is on Facebook in the Notes section called “Games I’m Planning To Playing In The Near Future” Again though it’s games I plan to play but it may be played after some other game not even on the list ha ha. A donation will also change my game because the donator chooses the game and time.

Q. Have you played (game name) yet?

A. I have played a lot of games at this point, a quicker answer to this question is !played and then ctrl + f and search your name. I put down every game I played so far in a list.

Q. Can you live stream earlier?

A. At this current moment no. However, I did make a promise that if I can do this full time I would do one earlier stream and one at the time I do one now. The plan was to stream around 11am to 3pm. Then at 6pm to 10pm IF you HEAVENSLYS want me to be a full time streamer. Hitting Twitch Partner is the next step towards getting full time, let’s see what you all can do.

Q. Do you have a Discord?

A. No I do not. Back when I first started out, I wanted to grow no matter what so I played some high age rated games like Danganronpa and Persona. This brought in some toxic adults that I didn’t realize at the time. They became my Mods, showed up to lots of live streams and created a Discord with my name and invited everyone in. After a few weeks/months their true colors came out. They stopped showing up to my live streams and demanded that I stop live streaming and hang out with them in Discord more. Also, other viewers showed up to my live streams saying the discord people are being mean to them and there was nothing I could do, I wasn’t owner of the Discord page. So I went in asking them to stop being mean and they turn that against me. Saying I was a horrible person for saying things like that to them. They got the Discord owner to ban me from them and the drama that caused with the other viewers who went along with them. SO basically I stay away from offline pages like Discord and other chat sites for this very reason. I will make sure everything I do is public and seen by other people. Too many other channels already got in trouble for similar situations like this. If you wish to talk to me, there is always, YouTube comments, Twitch’s live streams, Facebook and even Twitter.

Q. What equipment do you use to stream?

A. I am currently using a Blue Yeti Mic, Asus ROG laptop with OBS Studio, A cheap headset and the Elgato HD60 with a powered Orei HDMI Splitter and two T.V's, one for gaming the other for chat and stream info.

Q. Do you watch subbed anime?

A. No I don’t, English dubbed and family friendly please. I stay away from high age rated and tags like Harem, Ecchi, Gore, Fan Service, Psychological and Drama. I like happy, light, nice and funny anime that doesn’t go dark or put others down.

[boldlyvoid]

can u do a blurb about reader wanting a baby and asking her co-worker Spencer to be the donor because he's smart and nice and she wants a cute baby?

you said blurb and i read 2K word fic apparently lmao

Late nights behind a desk were the worst. Y/N hated reading over case file, after case file, of horrific things as she tried to choose where they went next.

The only plus side was that she wasn’t alone, Spencer was at his desk just beside her. Like he always was. They had an interesting friendship, to say the least.

Ever since Y/N joined the BAU, Spencer and her were glued at the hip. They had all the same interests, liked the same music and movies, and they spat out information the same way, they were like each other’s dorky other half— but it was just a friendship.

They had a tradition to watch at least one movie together after a case, to just chill for a bit together. Always randomly picking one of their apartments to go to, spending the night together until one of them eventually wandered off to bed. Leaving the other on the couch.

They weren’t aware of their feelings for each other for a while. Both of them being so used to being alone, and never having anyone be interested in them before. It was hard to understand if the feelings they had were pure friendship, or if it could ever be more. If the sex would fuck everything up and take away that perfect happy place they found in each other, or would it make the bond stronger?

She noticed the crush before Spencer showed any signs of liking her back. She woke up every morning thinking of him, that's when she came to the conclusion that it was more than just a friendship. She wanted him in her life forever, she wanted to kiss his perfect lips and hug his soft body, wake up beside his messy hair and just love him for the rest of eternity.

She sighed as she picked up another file, not excited to learn about the horrible acts taking place in what people called, “the best country in the world.” She’d disagree any day of the week.

This one was a file about some missing kids apparently being spotted in a van altogether in Georgia, it looked interesting enough to be the next case. She hated reading all the info, seeing every kid's happy face in the file knowing that’s not how they looked now.

“Good god,” she groaned as she flipped through the case.

“What’s wrong?” Spencer asked over the divider.

“Nothing,” she shrugged, “just a bad case.”

She handed it to him over the desk, hearing him flip through all the sheets as he read a million words a minute. “We should show this to Emily first thing,” Spencer agreed, pushing himself over to her desk in his wheely chair.

“I will,” she smiled softly, taking the file back from him and placing it on her desk.

Spencer stood then, making his way into her space and rubbing his hand over her back slightly. “Are you okay?”

She sighed, “actually. no, I was telling Garcia I want to have a baby soon, and then I see things like this and I’m scared to do it alone but I don’t have any other option?” Ranting to him like he was her therapist.

“What do you mean?”

She turned in her chair to look up at him, his soft brown eyes really caring to hear the answer. “Sit,” she insisted.

He pulled the chair over more, sitting close enough that their knees touched. “I’m 36, I’m not having any luck finding a husband or a wife, I want a baby and if I have to do it myself I will, but what if I’m not enough? What if I have a boy and he grows up to be a killer cause he never had a dad?”

“Y/N,” Spencer’s voice was soft as he looked at her with a confused scrunch on his face. “That couldn’t happen, you’re a wonderful person, I love having you on the team and in my life, I know you’d raise good kids, you should do it.”

“Really?” She beamed at him, the words touching her heart and making her swoon a bit.

“I mean, it would be hard,” he added reason to the conversation. “You’d have to take time off, which would be good for bonding. My mother raised me alone and I turned out semi-fine, I don't hold any resentment for her not finding someone for me to call dad or even step-mom for that matter. I think if you give them all the love in the world like I know you’re capable of, your child will love you like you’re their whole world.”

She laughed as she noticed the tears welling in her eyes, waving her hand's in front of her face so she wouldn’t fully sob. “Do you want to be the donor?” She made a joke to change the topic.

Spencer laughed then too, “sure!”

Everything got serious again then, she looked at him a little differently. “Really? Cause honestly, you’re like a Grade A donor profile in the most expensive clinic!” She couldn’t help herself from laughing again at the absurdity.

“I’ve always wanted to be a dad, 40 isn’t too old to have a child, is it?” He seemed to have decided that rather fast.

“Okay,” she nodded with a smile, “okay. That’s cool, sick,” she felt the words get smaller as she thought it over.

“I get it if you were kidding,” Spencer spat out. “I realize now that you might have been making a joke, I hope it’s not weird that I agreed so fast, it’s just that I think you’re a very beautiful and smart woman and the idea of helping you make a child makes me really excited. I think it would be a very good idea if you were being serious, but I get it if you’re not.”

She let him get it all out, always loving when he got like this on a case or in person, nervous or just because he wanted to talk, she loved to listen. And no one ever let him finish his thoughts, always wanting to beat him to the punch.

“Spence, I think you’re really handsome and smart too,” she smiled. “If you’re also serious, I am too.”

“How would we?” He asked as he pulled at the top button of his dress shirt, swallowing like he couldn't breathe all of a sudden.

“If you’re not opposed, I’m sure the good old-fashioned way would work?” She laughed, laying her hand on his knee softly.

It was like sparks flew at that moment as if all the fluorescent lights in the bullpen could have exploded and she wouldn’t have even noticed. Captivated by Spencer's eyes as he gasped at her touch.

“Not opposed in the slightest,” he said softly as he held his own hand over hers.

She couldn’t help herself from smiling. “Well, I think I’m all done here if you want to come to my place for a movie?”

“Sure,” he replied, offering her a hand as they stood up together.

He returned his chair to his desk, both of them grabbing their coats and bags and rejoining at the door.

“I should go say goodnight to Penny,” Y/N said softly. “Wanna come?”

“Yeah,” he followed her through the door and down the hall to the tech room.

“Knock knock,” Y/N said as she walked through the open door. “Oh great and knowledgeable one, I’ve come with my nightly farewell.”

“Oh my knight, I shall miss you,” Penelope played along, sauntering over to her and wrapping her up in a hug. “I leave you with this until your return.”

“Through scorching deserts, and blistering winds, I will make it back to you, always,” she tried not to laugh as she hugged her back. “I also brought forth the jester.”

Spencer was laughing in the doorway as the two of them looked at him, “hi?”

“The pretty boy, to what do I owe the pleasure?”

“Um,” Y/N smiled, “Spencer and I are just going back for our nightly movie.”

Penelope looked at both of them, jaw slightly gaped, “nightly? I thought it was a case by case thing?”

“It’s a good excuse for us to talk,” Spencer smiled at her.

“Mhmm,” she smirked, “well have fun.”

She pulled Y/N back into another hug, hiding her face from Spencer, “I need all the dirty deets in the morning.”

Y/N smacked her arm softly as she pulled back, “goodnight pretty penny.”

“Farewell brave knight, handle with care, Jester,” Penelope pointed her finger at him, giving him a knowing glance.

“Yes, oh Knowledgeable one, always,” he blushed.

He reached out his hand for Y/N, interlocking their fingers as they left her office and headed towards the elevator. A rare moment of bravery on his part, holding hands like this didn’t spread a lot of germs.

“We’re going to have to discuss a lot of logistics like realistically this isn’t going to be just a fuck and oh look its a baby. This is a real live baby that we need to raise and care for,” she reminded him as the elevator doors shut.

“I’d like to be as involved as you’d let me be,” Spencer replied. “I don’t have to be 'dad' to them, I could be uncle Spence that’s fine too.”

“Oh no, you’d be Dad for sure,” she nudged him slightly. “I mean like, weekends and holidays and birthdays, your mom will want to see them surely, my parents will want to see them. Housing,” she looked at him horrified. “I have an apartment with 2 bedrooms, I don’t think I could let them sleep somewhere without me.”

“I have been looking at houses,” Spencer added before the doors opened to the garage, “you’re driving right?”

“Yeah, you were saying?” She replied, digging her keys out of her purse and leading him towards the car.

“Derek Morgan, I’m not sure if you’ve met him yet, he fixes up old homes in DC and Virginia now. He just finished one and I helped him with it. I think I’m going to buy it from him. It has 4 bedrooms, we could all live under the same roof? It would be easier to co-parent.”

She was amazed at how fast he adapted to this as if he’d been having the same thoughts she was having. At a certain point wanting kids becomes a pipe dream filled with desperation and emptiness, he looks like he’s experienced it too.

She opened her door and sat down before replying to him again. Thinking about how wonderful he was going to be during this process, “thank you, Spencer.”

“For what?” He asked as they both closed their doors.

She sighed, relaxing into her seat as she started the car. She turned to him softly, not wanting to cry as she spoke softly. “Being a mom is more of a dream to me than joining the BAU was, this is the best gift you could give me.”

He reached his hand out again, holding it softly. Running his thumb over her knuckles. “Can I tell you a secret?”

“Yeah,” she nodded softly.

He couldn’t make eye contact with her, staring at their hands as he rubbed her skin.

“Um, I’ve been pretty infatuated with you since you joined,” he let it out finally. Like a ton of bricks off his back he relaxed a bit, “after everything with Maeve, Cat and Max… oh god, and JJ... I was so worried that if I got too close to you I’d lose you. I tried to keep the feelings in, that's why I said what I did to Penelope. She knows how I feel about you.”

It was like fireworks were going off in her chest as the butterflies erupted inside of her. She sat up, turning to him more and ripping her hand from his grasp.

It startled him, he looked at her anxiously as if she was going to yell at him. But she placed both hands on his cheeks and pulled him into a kiss.

His arms snaked around her waist, wishing they could get closer if it wasn’t for the damn centre console of her car. Pressing their lips together, hard, as they breathed each other in. Desperation taking control, she wasn’t able to let go of him.

When she finally did pull away, however, the look on his face was priceless. Like expensive art, every line and freckle had a meaning. He was surprised, enamoured, grateful, desperate for more.

She smiled softly, rubbing her thumbs over his cheek. “Good, cause it would be awkward having your baby and not getting to love you every day too.”

taglist: @shemarmooresfedora @spencers-dria @spookyspence @reidsfish @manuosorioh @mochionly @samuel-de-champagne-problems @jswessie187 @k-k0129 @calm-and-doctor

[bloodstained-ballgowns]

Things I... didn’t like as much, about Black Widow (2021):

Disclaimer: I loved this movie. I would give it 4/5 stars overall. This is a lot of nit-picking. Most of the choices I’m talking about here I still really enjoyed, but this is how I would change them to improve it *for me*. If you disagree, that’s fine! Obviously, spoilers.

I said in my ‘Things I Loved About Black Widow’ post that I consider the first 53 minutes to be perfect, and the rest to be not-so-perfect. This is where I complain about the not-so-perfect stuff. They didn’t drop the ball on the third act, they just...fumbled it a bit. It stayed dark, but to me, it lost a bit of its grit. Cate Shortland’s influence really shone through in the first act, but it got lost around the second and third acts for me because of how Marvel-y it got.

Firstly, I’m considering the hand-to-hand combat here to be second only to CATWS. So why did that element basically dissolve towards the end of the film? She barely fought anyone in the prison breakout. Yes, Natasha fought the Widows, but that was all slowmo-y and widows-bites-y and did not have the same level of choreography. I wish they’d carried it through. 

Talking of action, there was not enough of it between Natasha and Taskmaster (who is getting a whole other post, because that is a bag of mixed feelings I don’t want to delve into here), particularly in the third act. Action isn’t something I’m particularly interested in but I was excited for this dynamic. Antonia wasn’t the villain, but like, the bridge fight did not effectively demonstrate her whole mirroring deal. Yelena and Nat’s fight had more mirroring than her and Tasky’s. Antonia’s skill set really shines in hand-to-hand onscreen, but as I said, I felt that kind of dissolved in the third act. They completely cheated us out of an impressive showdown when Natasha let Antonia out of the cell and moved backwards and I totally thought they were going to duel...which would lead into the sky fight...and then...the room cracks and they’re blown apart?? Hmmm.

Why was the Red Room in the sky??? I get that they were moving around a lot and this movie needed to have some kind of Marvel explosive finale and it looked cool and everything but I prefer the comics’ more grounded version. I just think it would have been more effective for Natasha and Yelena to walk through the old halls of the building they grew up/were trained in, find the new facility underground or something and then blow the whole place to smithereens. It would have actually cemented the whole ‘going back to where it all started’ thing.

Now I know the reason for Dreykov’s off-screen demise was to show how a man as purely evil as him didn’t deserve a major, glorified death. He deserved the death of an afterthought. But I would have liked to see Nat plunge a knife into his heart. Or to see him try to go after Yelena somehow and Nat just shoot him in the back of the head. It didn’t feel like they gave us any closure on that front, particularly as they made a whole deal about Nat not seeing the body in Budapest...and then we didn’t see the body here either. I almost feel like his death was made so insignificant that it was forgettable.

The whole flashing back and showing that actually they did have everything figured out did not work for me, it felt like lazy writing. It gave me “BET YOU DIDN’T SEE THAT COMING, BET YOU UNDERESTIMATED HER, LOOK HOW CLEVER NATASHA IS! DIDN’T YOU UNDERESTIMATE HER? SHE HAD IT ALL FIGURED OUT YOU FOOLS HARHARHAR” vibes and I was just like...I know. Literally, I know how clever and calculated she is. I knew she wouldn’t have been outplayed like that at Melina’s. Maybe other people didn’t, but come on guys, think up with something a little less ‘gotcha’.

What the hell happened with Nat and Ross before they cut to ‘two weeks later’? *confusion intensifies*

Again, this is getting long. See the read-more.

This movie had a lot of bases to cover and a lot of information to convey and I think the script managed that pretty well overall, but it did lapse into a bit of ‘show-don’t-tell’ syndrome at times. Show me Nat’s mother being ‘relentless’ in her search, don’t just tell me about it. I did not want Renner’s Clint Barton in this movie, but they could have made the Budapest flashback a smidge longer, for my liking.

Disney would never do this, but I would have loved an R-rated Black Widow movie. Yelena is absolutely a character that would yell ‘Fuck!’ really loudly (think Florence Pugh in that cactus video). My suggestions above for Dreykov’s death were me being reserved: Nat stabbing him repeatedly would have been so cathartic (for me, idk about her).

Y’all know I’m a slut for Nat’s everything in this movie, particularly the hair, but goddammit the hair. Riddle me this, if Nat had in a perfectly good braid when she got into the helicopter, why did she emerge with flowing locks and one tiny useless plait on the left side of her head?? And then she redid that into the ponytail with all the little braids while preparing for battle at Melina’s (never mind the fact that Nat’s hair would not have been long enough for them to reach much past her shoulders as well as being tied up) and fit it all under a Melina-wig! HELLO, LOGISTICAL NIGHTMARE SPEAKING.

I’m pretty sure the whole Nat-not-understanding-science-speak thing was only there for the “In English”-*replies in Russian* gag but it still seemed a little ooc since she’s never had a problem with it before. Idk if I would class this is as Nat ‘playing dumb’ to get more information like she does later with Dreykov since Yelena is readily giving her that info, and Yelena is also good enough to realise when she’s being manipulated like that.

Ummmm whole separate post for reasoning and such but the magic dust antidote? Not a vibe. No thank you. Lazy. Unrealistic. 

So...Alexei and Melina. It’s not that I don’t like them as characters - I really enjoyed them, I think they’re great characters. Fascinating to analyse. Did I love the Ohio mission sequence? Yes. Did I really appreciate the family dynamic and all the fanfic possibilities it gave us? Yes. But do I wish they weren’t in this movie at all? Yeah, kinda. The family dynamic was funny, and it was heartwarming, and it was heartbreaking, because it was executed so well, but the fact is that it was added by Kevin Feige to make this movie more palatable for the wider audience. Alexei’s dad jokes breaking the tension were probably an imperative for most audiences to enjoy the film. (Yelena’s dry sarcasm could have filled that role easily for me). But I didn’t want the tension broken. I didn’t want people to relax. I wanted them to come out and have to decompress because it was so intense. It’s easier to market a film about ‘family and going back to the past’ than ‘female subjugation and exploitation’. I don’t appreciate it, but I get it. Making this into a quasi-ensemble piece in the second and third acts just irritated me though. I wanted all the screentime possible to be on Natasha and Yelena. They could totally have pulled it off without their parents.

This really is nitpicky, but would a Liho mention have been too much to ask for? It would have been so easy, when Yelena asked “did you ever wish for kids?”, Nat could have replied with “i have a cat”, which is a good deflection but also informative, or her lockscreen could have lit up to show a tiny black kitten. Idk, this movie used a couple of good comics references and I guess I was hoping for one more.

*whispers and runs away* Bucky should have been here. Goddammit.

In conclusion, a lot of my critiques could be fixed if we didn’t live in a time where this film still had to be palatable for wider audiences who do not care about characters nearly as much as they care about action or humour or plot or spectacle. A lot of the strong choices paid off (they’ve riled up dudebros enough to prove that). The Marvel-y ending and Alexei’s humour did not. The rest is just logistical errors and missed opportunities.

This is a lot of complaining but I promise, these annoyances are much more minor than I’m making them out to be. The movie is magnificent even with them.

[relaxxattack]

ayo! (wait this might be a bit of a jumpscare dishdks i apologize) i’m op of That Post and was wondering what your opinions were on the whole woobification thing? /gen

because it’s a Tiny Bit widespread within the dream apologists to sort of,, overdramatize stuff like l’manberg hurting him. like they’re not a 100% wrong but if you look at it subjectively you can see some sort of bias going into that sort of thing that makes the character’s mistreatment a bit more blatant and intentional which,, it really wasn’t? and there wasn’t That Much of it either. especially on twitter (tumblr is much better about it) people just jump to conclusions it seems and yeah. since you brought it up i was wondering if you wanted to write a bit about it from your perspective!

we’re kinda from different corners of the fandom but i still notice that once you are too attached to a character you start taking certain evidence and giving it more weight than it actually has. there’s a blurry line between “taking away a character’s humanity” and woobification and it’s extremely difficult to find a balance when said character shows pretty much nothing of his emotional life (e. g. putting up the intimidating villain act in front of only c!tommy, pretty much everything he does making rational sense with no emotional subtext) and a lot of the fandom instantly jumps to one side or the other while it’s like.

we don’t know by far enough to say “he’s traumatized” or “he isn’t traumatized” or “he was villainized and it hurt him” or “l’manberg didn’t affect him at all”

as a very analytical person people constantly jumping to conclusions grinds my gears, but that’s about it for my own view of the situation - sorry for the rambling.

in general i agree with you that both dehumanization and woobification is Bad and i really hope getting Actual Context sorts this out (e. g. him saying he was betrayed by his friends doesn’t mean it wasn’t partially his fault or that they were allowed to leave him, but it also shows that he did care about that happening. mentioning the cat doesn’t mean anything about what happened to c!tommy but it also shows that he did care about what happened to it. it’s just always interesting to get more information about the way he feels because he usually does a very good job at hiding it.) because man.

it’s like being stuck between a rock and a hard place, especially if you also are attached to the character and are expected to automatically agree with everything the people on “your side” say. it just ends up with everyone being mad and the character being mischaracterised overall.

oh wow hello! i didnt expect the op of the post to find me you’re right lol

and yes i agree! you seem to have a lot of very good thoughts tbh.

and by woobification, i mean exactly what you’ve already pointed out— the people who will say l’manberg purposely villainized dream, the people who will say wilbur faked his mental illness to manipulate dream, the people who are pretty much always talking about how badly dream was treated by people who were acting only fairly for themselves, usually.

for example people who act like dream was a perfect peacemaker before tommy showed up, or that tommy started most conflict. these are just actual lies that are told by c!dream himself to justify his abuse of tommy, and people fall for them incredibly easily because not a lot of people watched early dsmp and know that truthfully it was chaotic even then, and that dream was chaotic too. not to mention wilbur soot tried very hard to secede peacefully with l’manberg and dream jumped directly into war with no warning. and then people say he was forced into their war when, no, he started it.

theres also people who will say like, dream and sapnap for example are such good friends. i’m sure they cared for each other, but dream on multiple occasions has done horrible things to sapnap with no regard for his feelings (like leading fundy to sapnaps pets during the petwar, leading tommy to sapnaps pets during the other petwar and encouraging him to kill them, handing mars over to tommy to use as leverage against sapnap, etc). george he’s been less awful too but he certainly spoke over him and ignored his feelings enough that george felt hurt. he had places in his hall of attachments for beckerson and mars. george and sapnap were right to walk away from being treated like that.

there’s also what you just said here — “dream puts on a villain persona for tommy”— but honestly he acts like that around quite a few people (example: eret) and it’s usually when he’s revealing crucial info, which leads me and many others to believe that ‘persona’ is actually a more truthful version of him.

there’s the fact that he really isn’t safe for people to be around (or at least he wasn't before the prison) because he was planning to come up with ways to control every single person by stealing and threatening their attachments (some of which were not items but were living animals, or a real breathing person).

and then people will say dream was doing exile to enforce rules, or to keep the peace— when it’s very clear in canon it was a deliberate plan to get tommy on his own and into the prison. (from the way he was framing tommy for multiple crimes, and having sam set up the prison, and kidnapping tommy instead of correctly exiling him, all at the same time).

not even going into how he wants to kill and revive people for fun or make tommy immortal.

it’s just— ignoring all these actual facts and saying “oh he misses his friends, let’s get him some friends now” reminds me of like. when people would put flower crowns on pictures of serial killers. and then, there’s hardly anyone on the server who wasn’t subject to dream’s plans, so there’s absolutely no one i would be okay with him interacting with.

just remembered about the torture thing, and wow i still hate it so much. it’s someone’s sick revenge fantasy twisted into a way to get a manipulative villain sympathy, and it’s just gross to me on every account. i do think dream is traumatized-- just not by l’manberg, which was a conflict he started on his own terms. i would think l’manberg did affect him, because he was scared of losing control.

i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again— my ideal ending for dream would be for him to be sent far away from dsmp to an island full of therapy animals and super strong therapists who have never met him before. and for him to get a shit ton of therapy until he becomes a halfway normal person. and then eventually he could get integrated into society again; but a different one with new people. (although maybe dteam + bbh + puffy can visit him, they might still like him.)

none of the people on the server (who have all been affected by dream) should be burdened with befriending him or rehabilitating him— look how that turned out with sam! sam had a personal grudge towards dream and it ended with the poor dude being tortured every day; and sam himself falling into corruption and literally cutting off his boyfriends arm. like we can all see thats fucking awful right?

no one who was affected by dream should have to deal with him ever again. and contrary to popular belief, that includes a LOT more people then just tommy. dream isn’t just tommy’s antagonist, hes almost everybody’s.

the only person on the server who might also be able to stand to help dream is techno, and that’s from sheer lack of ability to give a shit. but techno is probably THE furthest thing from a good therapist there is lol, and dream needs better then that.

this kind of just ended up being a rant about my thoughts on c!dream, so im so sorry op. especially since it was probably negative for you. i hope you’re doing very well.

i guess in the end it’s true what you said— people will highlight or ignore things based on what characters they like, and it’s especially easy to do in this fandom, where half the content doesn’t even get watched and then we become a big echo chamber of half-truths.

considering dream has hurt so many of the characters i care about, i almost can’t understand how he could be someone’s favorite or comfort character— but he is nonetheless, and it would be unfair of me to be rude about that.

essentially it just bothers me to see someone who was a perpetrator of accurately portrayed abuse and manipulation (using both those words in their actual definitions, not just as random buzzwords lol) being given the flower crown edit effect. especially since he’s hurt the characters i care about a lot.

ANYWAY all of that being said (this got LONG im so sorry op) i am so so excited to get dream’s pov, because although i disagree with his actions strongly i actually find dream’s character very interesting and cool, and watching his POV is going to insanely fun. i cannot wait to see what theories get confirmed or denied

ALSO incase it wasn’t clear this is all /nm at you! you seem lovely and smart, and neither of us can help what characters we get attached to :]

[yukiwrites]

Behavior, Making the Difference

Thank you for the support as always, @xpegasusuniverse! This one was so fun to write, I hope you like it! I love exploring all of these different interactions!

Summary: Ricken, Lysithea and Hayato banded together due to their similar circumstances in their home world. They were now good classmates, who shared the same woes even in another world like Askr: why are they being looked down on, just because they were young?

Commission info HERE and HERE!

__________________________

The amount of Heroes being summoned in Askr grew day by day. The castle alloted to house the Order of Heroes had enough space for them all, yes, but there were some areas that a few groups of like-minded Heroes claimed for themselves.

For example, the western training grounds was now CHOP’s exclusive meeting spot. The eastern forest? Home to Heroes who would rather stay away from people to focus on calming their raging power. There was also a meadow past the southern garden, almost touching the outer wall, where the dragon-shifters liked to gather.

In the same manner, the central library was used as a classroom and gathering spot for the mages. It was big enough that classes could be taken on the second floor while others could quietly do their personal research on the first floor without one being a disturbance to the other.

Every other day, more experienced mages ministered classes on the second floor in favor of the apprentice mages. Merric’s was a particularly popular class due to how Young Merric also participated and asked many questions to his older self, which would extend the lecture for hours upon hours.

After class had finally ended, many of the students had stiff necks and sore legs for sitting up for so long. Be that as it may, one of the most eager students, Ricken, observed how Merric and his younger version interacted. On top of that, he noticed how younger Merric received different treatment whenever he went despite being the very same person who was just at the helm of the class.

Sure, the years of experience made a whole lot of difference, but younger Merric was in no way lacking in comparison to any other mage!

“Maybe it’s just ‘cause Merric’s tall.” Ricken grumbled to his deskmates, Lysithea and Hayato, as he looked up to his intentionally large hat.

Lysithea revised her notes calmly, resting her head on one hand. “At this point in time, young Merric has much more experience than Professor Merric had when he was that age. He’ll grow into a much stronger mage if he keeps up with this hunger for knowledge.”

Hayato nodded beside Lysithea, yawning loudly while he stretched his stiff muscles. “I do not know if it was due to the special summoning or if something different happened in his home world, but this young Merric has outstanding innate magical energy. It’s even larger than Professor Merric’s.”

“See? That’s what I’m saying. He’s much stronger than a lot of the adults, but he’s still treated like he’s not that capable because he’s young. They’re treating him like a little kid in favor of his older self!” Ricken protested with puffy cheeks.

“I do understand the hierarchy that comes with the territory of being a mage, so it’s not like I agree completely with you,” Lysithea pinched in, lifting her gaze to the red-haired young boy, “but I don’t disagree completely, either. They could treat him with the deserved respect of someone who holds that much power.”

“Though the man himself doesn’t seem to mind, unfortunately.” Hayato sat back down after cracking his neck a few times. “He sucks it all up, as though he himself feels unworthy of respect.”

“I suppose seeing how much you’ve grown can do that to people,” Lysithea mused, then mumbled so only herself could hear, “I’d be jealous if I wasn’t in such a hurry.”

Ricken’s cheeks only inflated more and more. Seeing people just like him, full of potential and stacking on accomplishments, being treated as less than they deserved made his blood boil. It reminded him of the constant ‘are-you-alright’s and ‘someone-your-age-should-rest-now’s he received on a daily basis.

“He shouldn’t be treated that way!” Ricken exclaimed, raising both fists up. “It’s the same everywhere! Back home, Chrom and everybody else treated me like a little, helpless kid and never saw how much I could do.”

Hayato crossed his arms, bobbing his head to the sides. “Just blow something in their vicinity; that will shut them up.”

“But I don’t want them to fear me! I want them to respect me! Besides, that’d probably just make them tell me I’m still too reckless for the battlefield.” Ricken’s shoulders dropped as he saw the exact scene being played in his mind, word by word.

“... Ah, you’re part of a specialized task force, right?” Hayato momentarily forgot that although the other two shared the same amount of potential and suffered from being berated by their ages, they weren’t the heirs of their tribes. He could get away with a lot of stuff because the heir was usually the strongest one, but that wasn’t the case with Ricken, who was simply one soldier amidst many.

Ricken sat back down, deflated. “Yeah, and there’s this other boy who got in after I did but no one treats him like they treat me! He’s only older than me by a few months, but everyone already sees him as a man and they never hold him back on doing stuff.”

Lysithea immediately remembered Petra, the princess of another country who studied with her under Byleth. They were both the SAME age, but no one treated Petra like a little kid. “... Is it the height?” She mumbled, though both of them heard it loud and clear.

… Oh.

It was the height.

Ricken took off his hat, then glanced up as though to remember how tall Donnel was compared to him.

… After a moment, he realized Donny was at least a head taller than himself.

“This is ridiculous!” However, Hayato was the one who slammed the table. He, too, was conscious of his height. “Bring it on, I’ll zap him with my magic and we’ll see-”

“Wait, wait, wait! I don’t wanna hurt my allies!” Ricken pulled on Hayato’s sleeve. “Besides, he’s not a mage, he’s- uh, I don’t know what he does exactly, but he’s a villager. Everyone trains with him and gives him tips and puts him on the frontlines without question… It’s unfair! I can hold my own, too!”

“That does seem like special treatment,” Lysithea nodded. “It’s unfair, but that only means that you have to overwhelm everyone with your effort. Study a lot and show them how good you can be to shut them all up.”

“Yeah... It’s my dream to be able to fight side-by-side with Chrom, but it’s not something for the far future. I can do it NOW, but they just don’t acknowledge me! It’s driving me nuts.”

Before the other two could reply, the sound of steps going up the stairs to the second floor interrupted them, which was unusual. It was an unspoken rule to use sound-muffling magic while walking around the library; not to mention that the second floor was commonly used for classes, so there shouldn’t be anyone going up at that moment, as the next class would only happen after dinner.

“C’monnn, up we go, Donny!” A familiar, peppy voice echoed. Soon, the blonde pigtails could be seen before the princess’ body: It was Lissa, Chrom’s sister and princess of Ylisse.

“W-wait, wait, Miss Lissa! I reckon we shouldn’ta be ‘ere now! Aren’t them egghead folks studyin’?” Being pulled by Lissa, Donnel held the pot on his head to hide his face, whispering in an attempt to be quiet.

“Nope, class was over a while ago, so now it’s Professor Lissa time! Take your seat, Donny, and let your big sister here teach you stuff!” She pulled out a monocle from her sleeve and a presentation stick from the other, pointing at the blank blackboard. “Now, todaaay we’ll learn about… Cloud formations!”

Apologetic, Donnel glanced around as he scratched the back of his neck, meeting Ricken’s, Hayato’s and Lysithea’s eyes as he sat down. He bowed to them before turning back to Lissa’s long winded explanation about Stratus clouds.

Lysithea’s expression turned cold as her optimal studying space had been breached. “Aren’t they from your world, Ricken? Don’t they know how this is a place of learning and not of fooling around?”

“Ah, um, yeah. He’s the boy I was talking about, too, but…”

“You said people don’t treat him like a kid, though? But look, even that young princess is making sure to even call him ‘little brother’...” Hayato commented, glancing between Ricken and the other two.

“I’m surprised, too. I only see people praising him and telling him to go to the frontlines more often. Princess Lissa can be annoy-erm, difficult to deal with, especially if you’re younger than her…” Ricken spoke with a jaded voice, as though he had experienced all of that first hand (he did). “I didn’t know Donny also went through that.”

Hayato cracked his fingers. “He doesn’t seem to be much older, just like you said.”

“Yup, I can only imagine they treat him differently because he wields a weapon, not magic. They might think I’m weaker than others just ‘cause I don’t have muscl-”

“That’s ridiculous.” Lysithea interrupted. “Mages are one of the most terrifying pieces of the battlefield. No one has any right to look down on a mage just because they’re more fragile than their weaponized peers.”

As both boys nodded, Ricken clutched his hands. “Yeah, but that’s the only conclusion I can come to, honestly. What IS the difference between us if not that? We’re basically the same age! I refuse to believe it’s because I’m- I… I’m s-shorter than him!”

As the three of them discussed, Donnel raised his hand to ask Lissa a question. “But ‘scuse me, ma’am, it’s the Nimbus kinda cloud tha’s the rainy one! Folks called ‘em that ‘cause no matter how fast you saw ‘em, they’d catch up with ya and wet all your laundry, that it would!”

“Weh? What? No! It’s the Cumulus one, I’m sure of it!” Lissa was bewildered for a moment before stomping her foot stubbornly. “I’m the older one here, so I know best, okay?”

Donnel scratched his head awkwardly. “B-b-buh… But the Cumulus kinda cloud’s the one’s looks likea’ tree, ain’t it? Mighty tasty-looking too, like a pretty treat I saw in one offa those fancy towns we gon ‘bout.”

“Nghhh!” Lissa shook with embarrassment and mortification. That wasn’t the first NOR the second time Donnel corrected her during her ‘classes’. She was the older sister here, darn it all!

In between the three mages, the princess and the villager boy, none of them could truly fathom the reason why people treated Donnel differently, despite their close ages. In other circumstances, perhaps, Lissa would be sitting at the table alongside Ricken, Hayato and Lysithea. However, since that was not the case, the group was fated to observe the duo.

If they had just a little more self-awareness, they might have realized that the simple and obvious reason was only one’s behavior and humility.

But perhaps, they were all still too young to realize...

[legends-live-in-memories]

I Have Too Many Opinions. ep. 1

lmao. i got encouragement to post my opinions on fandom things and now i want to make a miniseries doing just that. so here i am. doing just that.

im putting it under the cut cuz this was 4 whole pages including the disclaimer. yes i put a disclaimer and i explain why.

Anyways, here is the first piece in what inevitably will become fandom info dump, this time on thomas astruc’s writing on miraculous ladybug. but only some of my opinions cuz we would be here all day otherwise.

So… a disclaimer before I begin… 

I do not hate Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug and Chat Noir (yes i'm using their government name). I am quite a fan of the show actually despite its faults. I am also older than the intended audience but was obviously younger when the show first aired which is how my interest was piqued (the fact that its been 6 years and only 3 seasons says more about the show than me being a fan for that amount of time but also i never want to rush content creators cuz they're doing their best) and due to my age, there will be inherent bias in my approach of what i'm about to say as there is in EVERY opinion. The fact that it is an opinion should imply the presence of bias but most people tend to lack the critical thinking skills required to draw that conclusion ANYWAYS…

If I did hate the show I would not have this blog nor would I be even writing this because i tend to not give more than 2 seconds of thought to things i actively dislike (some of yall should give this a try) and i'm allowed to like things that are designed for an audience that i was originally a part of but grew out of. (I don't suddenly stop liking things because I'm older despite what many younger fans seem to believe about older audiences. I also don't need to be ‘allowed’ to do anything cuz i wasn't asking for permission anyways.)

This will not be character bashing, astruc bashing nor fandom bashing cuz, again, that would imply i hate any of those elements and if i did, i would not dedicate brainpower to them. Analyses and criticisms of media are fun and engaging and required if you wish to produce good enjoyable content. Now most of this should be already assumed and self-explanatory but people on the internet like to play morality roulette roll dice on purity culture and I rather have documentation that I am in fact not bullying fictional 14 year olds or a grown man. But alas, people get trigger happy whenever someone has less than 1000000% positive opinions on something they like and will throw out words they can't define (gaslight, baiting, toxic, problematic, gatekeep etc) in an attempt to defend their blind devotion, 

which is not needed, if you like something you never have to defend it, even if i don't like it. If you respond to anything I post saying you disagree with me, I will not argue with you. I won't debate back and forth and try to convince you that the things you like are wrong. Unless you are being absolutely tone deaf to what i'm saying, you wont get a negative reaction from me. So don't try to fish for a fight. Please. I got metaphorical hands for days and I'm mean, you don't want me hurting your feelings on the internet. Do yourself the favour. Difference of opinion is how we get diversification in media and is inherently a good thing. Now that that's out of the way, please don't ever let me have to say that again. I beg.

Now onto the fun stuff

I didn't know what I wanted as a first topic so my trusty internet friend @moonlitceleste suggested astruc’s writing… 

AND BOI do i got some opinions on ole tommy boi. Again I don't hate the dude. In fact, he has worked on a few shows that had defined my childhood, including but not limited to W.I.T.C.H. (all eps available on youtube for those interested, 2 seasons, general fun time all around).

So I don't think he’s scum of the earth but I do think his approach to writing mlb specifically has more misses than hits.

The first big miss is that he has no idea how to write 14 year old girls. At all. Almost every girl he has ever written feels like some terrible archetype built entirely for marketability and childish projection and pubescent self-insert (kind of). He has never been a 14 year old girl. I have. In fact when the show first aired, I WAS around the (assumed) age of the mlb characters. The behaviour he passes off as quirky or awkward or just the character’s genuine personality tend to perpetuate harmful stereotypes of teen girls found in the media and are never actually addressed as harmful. they just get swept under the rug. Marinette’s exuberant collage of teen heart throb model boi Adrien Agreste and her very painful almost fan worship she has of him (which flip flops like a paper sandal in the rain) being portrayed as a cute school girl crush uwu, Chloe being the y7 Regina George, Alya being the token best friend of colour with her ‘sassy’ personality (i want y'all to imagine me eyerolling so hard i bust a vessel in my eye), Kagami being the very damaging Perfect Asian Child stereotype. And before y'all get on your dusty soap box and defend going on about “BUT IT'S FOR CHILDREN”,,,, know this.

 i don’t give a solid fuck. 

Not one. 

Children arent stupid. Children are always going to remember the richy bitchy blonde who bullies the art kid, and the big kid, and the shy kid, and the non white kids, and was only nice to her equally rich white friend who she probably had a crush on or was only ever civil to her equally white lapdog. They're going to remember the half asian girl who was never allowed to actually be asian or the only black girl who existed solely as a soundboard for enabling bad habits or chastising the main character for the same habits she enables in the first place (boi aint THAT a topic for later). Like do i really need to explain that alya chastising marinette for taking max’s spot in gamer just to play with adrien rings absolutely hollow when she actively encourages her to sabotage the contest she’s in just so Kagami doesn't win?? Like I don't have to explain that right?? Again kids arent stupid and its quite something that Mari gets chastised for proving herself the best video game player regardless of her intentions just cuz it comes at the expense of max’s feelings/ego but is actively encouraged to sabotage not only kagami but herself by extension cuz kagami is ‘competition.’ Adrien is not a trophy to be won. And no I don't expect 14 yrs old to be perfect and to always make good decisions but these decisions are never addressed as being bad decisions. they get swept under the rug cuz those decisions were necessary for the ‘plot’ but astruc can barely keep characterization consistent and his characters suffer for it and it's the same children you preach are watching it that suffer as well. Cuz guess what? I KNOW 14 yr olds aren't like that cuz i've been there done that (this is the last time i'm saying that i promise) so I know astruc is just metaphorically throwing darts to figure out who says and does what without consideration for pre established personalities to drive the stalemate plot along. The same kids you say are watching this don't know that that's not how preteens work and will absorb and internalize those dynamics like baking soda and vinegar. Cata-fucking-strophically. 

And I haven't even gotten to the boys yet. Which honestly doesn't require much explanation anyways cuz they suffer the same fate as the girls. Tired archetypes with nothing to give them life. Nino falls into Adrien’s person of colour token best friend who dates the female lead’s person of colour token best friend so they can have cute double dates uwu. Except the plot goes nowhere and we have no inclination of romantic development beyond moments that only act to actively convince me to anti ship the lovesquare (i don't want to do that so i self indulge in fanon that actually cares about the characters and plot. may i interest you in True Sight on AO3?). Max is the residential nerd but it doesn't matter (cuz he and everyone are dumbed down for the sake of ‘plot’), kim is the sports jock (which interestingly subverts the asian comedic relief stereotype but only barely) and luka is cute older guy ™ that wears black nail polish and is in a band. The point of all this is to say there is no depth in the characters. It's especially blatantly obvious with the characters astruc doesn't like (chloe). Again, it being a show for kids is not an excuse to be absolved of putting effort into the characters you make.

This is one of the biggest misses astruc has. I haven't even gone into all the nuances of this particular miss. And i havent gone into how that works against him in the plot either. Mostly because the plot itself hasn't gone anywhere and partially because I wanted to go into the plot (or lack thereof) separately as its own miss. 

AND BOI is it a miss. 

SO home boy astruc wanted to reap the benefits of a serial show with ‘engaging’ plot without putting in any of the work to make a linear storyline and relying on the episodic format for, again, marketability. You can't have the best of both worlds, you are not Avatar: The Last Airbender. Which btw has a lot less episodes and a desired end goal that didn't involve top dollar. Legend of Korra did but that's not the point and it had its failings with that too. I challenge you, tell me how many episodes actually contribute towards a plot point or introduce new thematic elements to the show? Can you name them? I can and I'm going to include the plot points that moved the story in some direction if only temporarily. Yes only temporarily for some of these and i will explain later. (if you're in the server you already saw this list *wink*)

25/26. Origins- self explanatory, the beginning of the story, 

24. Volpina- introduction of the grimoire and Master Fu (kind of) and no, Lila is not a plot point,

28. The Collector- proper introduction of Master Fu,

37. Sapotis- introduction of Rena Rouge,

41. Syren- introduction of new aquatic power ups,

44. Anansi- introduction of Carapace,

47. Frozer- introduction of new ice power ups,

48/49. Style Queen- introduction of Queen Bee,

51/52. Heroes’ Day- introduction of Mayura and mass akumatization,

66. Startrain- introduction of Pegasus,

67. Kwami Buster- Marinette wears multiple miraculouses,

68. Feast- backstory as to how the miraculouses were lost,

69. Ikari Gozen- introduction of Ryuko,

70. Timetagger- introduction of Bunnyx,

71. Party Crasher- introduction of Roi Singe and Viperion,

73. Chat Blanc- alternate timeline that essentially means nothing but got a reaction out of fans anyways (myself included)

 77/78. Love Eater/Battle of Miraculous- Marinette becomes guardian and other heroes lose their miraculous,

New York Special- other heroes exist and there is an American miraculous box,

That's 21 episodes. 21 out of a heaping 78 plus 2 specials. Everything else was just your typical akuma of the day episode and everything that happened outside that had no lasting consequences on the plot thanks to the miraculous status quo. Was it entertaining to watch Lila stir the plot of the class dynamic? Hell yeah. Too bad it meant nothing by the end of the episode cuz we were struck with miraculous status quo. She literally doesn't appear again until Heroes Day. that is from episodes 25 all the way to 51, she means nothing and yet she is treated with the severity of a b-villain/rival thing. She means nothing by the end of Volpina if I'm being honest. She is only relevant for 20 mins of episode time she’s in then it's back to magic status quo that undoes any shift in dynamics and relationships. It's like Spongebob who can't get his driver’s license. The worst part is I actually like Lila and I wish the story treated her with the seriousness we as an audience are expected to treat her with. Despite being painfully inconsequential by the end of each of the 3?? 4?? episodes she’s in, it's entertaining to watch a character create drama just because. 

Too bad it means nothing.

Astruc is constantly building up suspense to something ‘important’ only for it to not deliver and fans are constantly having the rug pulled out from under us. Oblivio teased us with a reveal only that gets undone cuz memory akuma. Chat Blanc teased us with romantic development but that gets undone cuz time travel bullshit. Feast introduced more miraculous lore and the history of the guardians but that means nothing by the next episode or ever (i'm not including any reference to the season 4 trailer cuz i've been around the block a few times and im familiar with this lil dancy dance). Heroes Day teased us with a possible future team of heroes but that gets undone in Battle of Miraculous cuz ????? why?? (here's why; astruc was having a jolly ole time letting us know how irredeemable Chloe is at the expense of shooting his own stagnant plot in the foot. Again, discussion for later.)

Too bad anything that slightly swerves off course from the akuma of the day gets undone or ignored. Too bad nothing has any lasting consequence. I mean, if anything did, the episodes would have had a consistent order and release schedule so im not scrambling to watch the leaked ep in Portuguese or something while the french dub is two episodes behind while the english version hasnt even been dubbed. I really wonder how he plans to conclude the show when he’s so afraid to step out of the corner he painted himself in.

Again, not going into nuances. If you want you can ask for more specifics (i doubt anyone would) but this is really just a slightly detailed general overview of my opinions on astruc’s writing. 

I was going to include another miss in his approach to this show but imma save that for another time. 

How’s that for a ‘first’ post?

[drawing-way-outside-the-lines]

Indefinite Hiatus.

To anyone reading this, I ask that you respectfully do not reblog this post, as it is very personal, thank you. That being said, the post is long, I’m a writer, what do you expect? But there were so many things I needed to get of my chest, whether anyone reads it all or not, simply doesn’t matter. I had to speak it all out, in order to move on. I will as such hide it under a cut, in case anyone should be curious why I am going on hiatus. Which I don’t usually do, I tend to just take off for a couple of days when things bother me enough to leave. But I thought this time I had to make an announcement, as it is quite possible I am simply just done with this place, and wont be returning. I simply don’t know at the moment, and none of what I write in this post, is written as a form of attention seeking, nor a way for me to get people to show me attention or beg me to stay. If I’m going, I’m going, and there’s nothing anyone can say that would make me stay. I simply make the announcement out of the respect for the few followers I still have some respect for. I wont just up and leave with no word when there’s people on here I still care about. So to be abundantly clear. This is a hiatus. I might be back. I might not be back. Only time will tell. I may some days hang around to check up on cc, you may even see me reply a person here and there, and not reply others. This isn’t anything personal towards anyone. I am simply a person who constantly bend over backwards for everyone else, then push myself repeatedly aside. And I am officially done with it. From now on if you see me online, on any sort of platform, I will not feel bad in any sort of way for not being available, simply because I am online. From now on I will only engage in things that resonate with me, when they resonate with me. Anything else steals my peace. And I no longer want to allow that. I might be gone a couple days, I might be gone a month. Maybe you wont ever see me return, and that’s that. I will take the time I need, even if that means for good. I will no longer put others before my own well being. I might even come by to reblog this post a few times, simply for the fact that I spent many hours, weighing my words, trying to make them as polite, yet clear as possible. I spent lots of time and energy on this, so if I during my hiatus come by to reblog it, it’s not a way to seek attention, or more likes/comments. It’s simply that I made a large effort, and I want as many of my followers to read this, so there’s no confusion as to why I am suddenly gone. If you want me to clarify further than that/you’re curious what finally made a “kind” person give up, it’s all below the cut:

I’ve been sitting on this for a couple days. Debating on whether I should say something or not. But I’ve come to the conclusion that I want to be as transparent as possible, in hopes that, it may, help someone else avoid being in a similar situation. Maybe someone will learn something along these lines of words I so carefully have put together. Preventing someone else from getting hurt. One can hope. And I also hope by speaking up, I can release the negativity I have been carrying, and set it free. Preventing it from weighing me further down. A few days ago, I entered one of my oldest characters, Odette, into a model casting, for Billsims. An experience that should have been fun and enjoyable, but instead resulted in making the decision to pull Odette out of the casting, to avoid Billsims potentially getting in trouble. You see, on the application info post, Billsims mentioned that it would be nice if a bit of info would be written about the sim we would enter, but it wasn’t a must. I decided, as a writer, to write a bit about my character, cause you betcha, as soon as someone mentions they might want a few words about a character of mine, -and my words start spilling like iced tea on a hot summers day! So I added the basic info I thought Odette herself would find important. Among that, I mentioned she’s a ‘Romanian Gypsy’. I did this to best clarify what Ethnicity she has, and what she classifies herself as. If I had simply written ‘Roma/Romani’, many people might not have understood what was meant. And I wanted to be as clear as possible about her, plus the word Gypsy, is simply what she has chosen for herself. I furthermore added she’s a proud woman, and a Pagan. Surprise surprise, someone didn’t like this info, and decided it was okay to point that out on my application post.  I still don’t understand some people’s need to constantly nitpick at anything they see online, specially in public, and specially when it comes to people simply having a hobby, enjoying said hobby peacefully, without harming anyone. Now, the post is still up on my blog, the comments are still there. Anyone is free to go have a look if they wish to know exactly what was said. But that being said, I hope and would like to think my followers are old enough to not attack anyone. Please. It wont solve anything. I also ask that no one bother Billsims about the matter, he was perfectly wonderful about it all, and had no issue with neither me, nor Odette. I was the one who decided to pull her out of the casting, in order to protect him, he even told me I was more than welcome to enter someone else. I decided against that however, to protect my peace. Something a very wise person told me to do. Thank you. I stopped replying to the person after my first reply, simply cause I saw no reason to engage in a debate that would lead nowhere. It seemed as if they already had a rather twisted view of me or my character or what was going on, quite possible a mix of it all? So I let them stay in their belief. Trying to convince them otherwise seemed like a tedious task, I had no energy to take on. And I instead went for advice from a trusted person, and enjoyed a long peaceful and uplifting conversation, rather than a fruitless quarrel with someone that was already so sure I was out there doing all sorts of harmful things through my character. I suppose the person commenting wasn’t a follower of mine, and if they were, I cannot imagine them to be a longtime follower. You see, I am aware Gypsy by now is often seen as a ‘slur word’, as this person was trying to educate me. I do not write something into my characters without making at least some sort of research first. Had this person been a long term follower, they would have known, I rarely ever use that word. As a matter of fact, not so long ago, I posted the bio of another character, Gabriella, she was also listed as ‘Romanian Gypsy’. So is the rest of the Lupei clan that both Odette and Gabriella belong to. They have always been listed as such. Ever since I started on Simblr 5 years ago. No one has ever commented on it before. And when I posted Gabriella’s bio earlier this Autumn, I was even met with surprise that I have Roma characters. So it seems, even long term followers hadn’t noticed. Which must mean, I am certainly not a person spreading the word around. It’s not the first time, I have had to get ‘whipped over the back of my head with a wet newspaper,’ by someone who thought I needed some schooling. I have had that experience twice before. So 3 times in total the 5 years I’ve been here. What a rebel I must be, since I have had to be corrected so many times. Once for having many gay characters in Polyamorous relationships. Once for having twins/blood related characters dating each other, and was as result accused of saying incest is right and spreading it as if everyone should be doing it. Which I never did, and never would. We have Game Of Thrones doing that already. First of, I simply don’t agree with that. I don’t think incest is right. However, I also don’t think it is wrong, if the people involved love each other and can make it work. And yes, that is possible. The person getting their panties in a twist over River and Jackall being a couple, did mention they had experienced incest close hand, so I do wanna defend them, and give them their space to be outraged, since I could understand it was a trigger for them. However, I cannot prevent everyone’s triggers, nor is it my job to do so. It is up to you to avoid your triggers, and to find a way to deal with them, so when someone does trigger you, you can handle yourself the best way possible. The whole world is never gonna wrap you in cotton. You need to wrap yourself. It took me no more than 2 minutes to find a very informative Wiki article about how incest IN FACT can be between two consensual adults, which the individual claimed could NEVER exist. Furthermore it can happen between two consensual adults whom happen to love each other just as dearly as two people in a completely “normal” relationship can. Two minutes research was all it took. Imagine if people would do just a minimum effort of research BEFORE they start attacking other people. Imagine a world like that. By all means, if I were out there on the street corners of the world, with pamphlets promoting incest, drag me to a side and slap me. That aint cool. But I am just over here, in my quiet little corner, doing my own thing, which btw you are more than allowed to disagree with, but don’t come knocking on my door with your disagreement. The very few posts I have ever shown of my incestuous couples, have all been very tasteful. And although it is mentioned on each characters bio, whom they are in a relationship with, I think it’s been years since I last even posted a pic of any of said people. I have posted far worse things, and no one ever mate as much as a squeak about it. Still, you are allowed to disagree, I just wish you would handle it in a better way than schooling everyone who does something you mildly (or even strongly) disagree with, and save the schooling for the real issues such as child pornography, Nazi’s, global warming, racism, whether people should wear a mask or not, and any sort of abuse/bullying. Here’s three alternatives I welcome on the other hand: 1. Scroll on. (I have talked with several of my long term followers, and they have confirmed they don’t always agree with the things I post, but they follow anyway, because they enjoy the majority of what I post, and the rest they simply scroll past. It doesn’t ruin their day, or their enjoyment of following my blog in general.) 2. Unfollow. You are always more than welcome to unfollow A-NY-THING on social media, if you do not like what you are seeing. When you subscribe to something/someone, the moment you no longer enjoy what you are seeing, you always have the chance of unfollowing. It’s not a permanent subscription for the rest of your life. Nor a chance for you to try to change what others are posting about. Specially as long as it isn’t harming anyone. 3. Block. The button exist on the vast majority of social media for a reason. Use it if you believe something or someone is so bad that it/they steal your sunshine. Block block block, and move away from it. If you keep hanging onto something you have blocked, what’s the point really? You’re still allowing it to affect you. Move on. And for the umpteenth time, even if my characters does something/say something/engage in something, doesn’t necessarily have to mean I agree with them/their choices/their lifestyle. With some things I do, others I don’t. I’m a writer. I enjoy writing things that challenges me, and challenges the reader. I simply don’t find joy in writing the typical white picket fence story where everyone fits into society, and everything is butterflies and Dandelions. But at the same time, I also don’t run around nitpicking at the people who do enjoy writing or reading these types of stories. The thing is, it’s fiction, right? I’m not writing about real life characters. So I ask you, do you believe every piece of fiction you have ever read? Does Lord Of The Rings or Harry Potter align with real life? If you can say no to that, then why on earth are you so dead sure that the fiction I write align with reality? For the last time, I do NOT agree with incest. For my characters, which btw doesn’t end at just River and Jackall, I do believe in it, simply for the circumstances of how the relationships happened. But you would have to read my whole story to finally understand it all. But I am not cramming it down your throat, specially if you have already made it clear you disagree. To that I once again want to add, my story is nowhere public, so I am really not in any way educating anyone on incest or ‘Gypsies’ or polyamory or anything else. I think polyamory is cool for the people who enjoy it. Have I personally ever been in a poly relationship? No. But I am at the belief people can do with their private life what they wish, as long as they aren’t harming anyone and everyone involved agrees. And to get back to what this post originally was intended to be about, the matter on Odette’s post, I have a few last things I need to say before I put the matter to rest: I'm not representing all of Romani, when I speak for my character(s). I never once mentioned this is how all Romani is. So if that’s what you read, that is on you and the words you add to mine, not my actual words or intention. I'm simply allowing my character and her family to be whatever they want to be, and call themselves however they see fit. As long as they are good kind people, it shouldn't matter much what they call themselves, as long as they don't use slur words for others. I never once claimed that all Romani is Pagan. Odette is. Her father or twin brother, isn't. Odette comes from a mixed background, and is as such a mix herself. And how beautiful is that? Wouldn't it be a shame, if we were only ever allowed to be just one thing in this life? I am not out here educating people on Romani culture, I am not calling people Gypsy in real life, nor do I do it online. In fact I don't call anyone anything in real life, cause people's skin tones simply doesn't matter that much to me. We are all just shades. No shade is more important than the other. We are all decaying plant food. Really. Odette has proudly chosen this word for herself, just as her family before her has been proud to do so. I have in no way portrayed my characters in the meaning of any sort of slur word. They are all highly intelligent well educated people. Odette is under education as a nurse. Her father is a well known and well respected doctor. Furthermore, they are all shape-shifters, whom can shift into very large wolves. Odette’s father being the Alpha. Wait, does that mean I am calling all Romani werewolves? It’s fiction. I am not standing on some stool somewhere preaching to anyone. I’m just me and my characters. I keep it between them and I 99% of the time. My roomie has a friend whom proudly calls herself a Gypsy. She has family whom proudly call themselves Gypsies. So not everyone views this word as bad. And yes there are real life people out there, who sees the word as positive and call themselves by it. Are you going to run after them too, and dictate what they are allowed to call themselves? Or is that only reserved for Simblr’s you disagree with? You simply can’t box up a whole minority like that and claim the word is always offensive and no one is allowed to use a specific word to describe themselves. Furthermore: Mixed background/ethnicity/religious beliefs/spiritual beliefs is a thing in the real world too, not something I made up over night to harm anyone. 'Gypsy' has never been said as a slur word coming from me, it was never ill-intended, and never will be, just like gay never will be said as a slur or ill-intention coming from me. Yet gay is also a word that has quite often been used as a slur. And still is. So, should we stop using it all together? No. It can be said in good intention, and in bad, it all depends on the person using the word. And people should surely be allowed to call themselves gay, shouldn’t they? Never have any of my Romani characters been portrayed in a bad light. (Or gay characters for that matter, but that's not what the subject is about)   And if they ever would be portrayed in a bad light, it would certainly have nothing to do with them being Romani. I personally see no point in that. My story and my characters are a source of joy for me, I have no intention of bringing racism into it. Now, we can agree that the word Gypsy is by now used as a slur, but it wasn't originally a slur, and once again, I do believe a person is allowed to call themselves whatever they may wish. Odette and her family wouldn't call other people Gypsies, unless they knew they were okay with it, and proud. Added to that, I do not believe a word can be racist or a slur in itself. A word is just a word. A string of consonants and vowels tied together to create a sound. It's the person using the word, who gives it ill-intentions, not the word itself, unless it was deliberately created with the only intention of hurting. Which as far as I am aware, wasn't the origin of the word Gypsy. 'Roma (Gypsies) originated in the Punjab region of northern India as a nomadic people and entered Europe between the eighth and tenth centuries C.E. They were called "Gypsies" because Europeans mistakenly believed they came from Egypt. This minority is made up of distinct groups called "tribes" or "nations." Most of the Roma in Germany and the countries occupied by Germany during World War II belonged to the Sinti and Roma family groupings. Both groups spoke dialects of a common language called Romani, based on Sanskrit (the classical language of India). The term "Roma" has come to include both the Sinti and Roma groupings, though some Roma prefer being known as "Gypsies." ' - Source: https://encyclopedia.ushmm.org/content/en/article/roma-gypsies-in-prewar-europe So to really boil this whole thing down to the bone, so hopefully this wont ever be an issue again: I do not use the word Gypsy in my day to day life. By creating a character who addresses herself as Gypsy AND also happens to be a Pagan, I do NOT in any way indicate that all ‘Gypsies’ are Pagans. I simply state that my character is. Nothing more, nothing less. I do not agree with incest in real life, though I do believe people are allowed to do with their private life as they see fit, as long as they aren’t harming others, and everyone involved is agreeing. I do not promote Poly relationships. Although once again, I’m a firm believer that people are allowed to do with their private life as they see fit yadda yadda... I do not promote being gay or any other sort of sexuality for that matter. Not that I have ever been accused of that, but I wanted to cover it anyway, cause who knows, it might be the next one I should get corrected for. I have a few times mentioned being trans, that was also not in any way a promotion. I do not promote Necrophilia. And here I really must snort. Some years ago (on an old blog, not this one) some very dear followers of mine, gently persuaded me to make some rather graphic pictures of my character Raven, literally f*ck*ng some corpses. It was posted in October as some satirical Halloween-ish post, as far as I remember, and was started from a simple question of, IF, it could be done in ts3? I was then challenged to do it. I did. People clapped. I’m sure others cried. But to my surprise my follower numbers didn’t drop, they increased? No one came running to ‘teach me a lesson’. No one came around to tell me what my demon was allowed to do or not. He was free to do whatever/whomever he wanted. And that’s the thing. There’s so many things in my story, and about my characters, that you don’t know. Cause I don’t post it out there for everyone to see. Cause I am not trying to promote a thing. I am simply here to challenge myself, and along that line challenge the few people I ever trusted to be my readers. You see, I don’t write for the numbers, meaning I don’t write a story that is meant to have a large following. I write for me, cause it is one of the only things that has ever helped me get through life, and fight some of my inner demons, to fight complications, to fight grief, to cope with all sorts of personal things I’m going through, and to have a place to escape to when life is too scary. I write for the content, the depth, for me, not for the fame, not for likes, not for anyone else. This is mine, and I don’t promote it on any scale, I keep 99% of it in private, and the rest I do air in public I air on a very minimal scale. If you decide to get offended about the fact that I drizzled a specific word once on a post, and a handful of times on my personal bios, well, that’s on you. It’s not a word I am out there spreading like a wildfire. People that has followed me for years never saw it till recently. Which should really speak loud of how little that word has ever come from me. I’m a respectable person. I do my best to respect everyone around me. At any time. Even when people don’t deserve an ounce of my respect. But that does not mean I should be weighed down with the burden of never offending anyone, cause then I might as well never speak again. Fact is, now more than ever, people are so offended by almost anything they can come across on social media. Jumping to conclusions here and there, when all they could do is simply ask, before getting offended and as a result decide to school or attack everyone around them. For no one to ever get offended again, we should all log out, and never sign in again. Why does it have to go to these extremes where no one can speak a word any longer, cause everything is an offense, a trigger, a slur? So I stay here in my little corner, doing me, doing my characters the way I like them. It is up to you to agree or disagree. You are free. But don’t come at me expecting I’ll change a thing for you. Cause you will only get disappointed. These people and their story is my way to cope with life, and as long as I am not out there shouting slur words at people or promoting certain ways of lifestyle, or deliberately harming anyone in any form of way, I cannot see why I shouldn’t be allowed. Just as you are allowed to do your own coping. Just as you are always allowed to scroll on, unfollow or even block things/people, you disagree with. Odette stays the way she is. So does the rest of my characters. It wont ever change because someone disagrees. The only way my characters change, is by character development, which mostly they decide for themselves. And I simply don’t see it in the cards that Odette will wake up and not feel Gypsy or stop using that word to describe herself, cause she personally sees nothing negative in it. Nor will she stop being Pagan because her mixed religion/background is making you uncomfortable. There’s plenty Christians out there, with Jesus or Bible quotes tattooed on them, yet Leviticus 19:28 say: Ye shall not make any cuttings in your flesh for the dead, nor print any marks upon you: I am the Lord. Interpret that the way you want it. But allow my character to do her religion the way SHE sees fit, simply for the fact that I am sure you want the same respect. I will not ever change my characters or my story for anyone but myself. You can express your dislike from here and until you get tired of repeating yourself, you can unfollow, you can block, you can even report me and get my posts taken down. You can even take it as far as getting my blog shut down. It wont make a difference. My story has been written for 6 years, some characters was written even longer than that. The story is over 200 book-length-chapters, close to 300 as a matter of fact. If I should change anything for a person I don’t even know, it would be almost 300 chapters I would have to reread and rewrite. Would you do that for some person that came by a post of yours, disagreeing with the way you portrait your own original character? If your answer is yes, I truly feel sorry for you. Lastly I want to say, try to be kind. Try to breath before you go and attack someones way of doing their own thing. Before you accuse someone of portraying something a certain way, maybe take a look at the persons previous work. Is it a one time thing, or is it a reoccurring matter? It may just be an itsy bitsy thing that you are blowing out of proportions, sorta like entering a conversation you know nothing about and then start correcting people left and right. It makes little to no sense, and in most cases, even if you might be meaning well, you end up doing more harm than good. Like in this case. You didn’t get to teach someone something they didn’t already know. You didn’t stop someones inappropriate behavior. What you did on the other hand, was extinguishing someones last spark. Their last will to keep going. You take that to the bank now, and be proud of yourself. Was it worth it? You can always accuse and assume. You’re free to do just that. But maybe in the future, try to replace accuse and assume with politely asking if your ‘concern’ is valid or not. Try to be mindful, try to be kind, try to consider that maybe the person you are about to put on the school bench/attack/bully or whatever you are about to do, is fighting an invisible battle you know nothing about. Maybe you are going to be the last straw for them. So try to weigh it all, is your righteous crusade worth it? Is it worth it to spill your two cents on a possible harmless matter, just so you can feel you fought a righteous battle and took someone ‘evil’ down, whom in fact were just trying their best to survive, by doing the one thing that helps them through it all, in their own little corner, harming no one. You know, there are tons of people like that out there. Making someone online feel so absolutely useless/worthless that they end up taking their own lives. Then blame the victims for it. Now, I might be a pretty strong person, but that doesn’t mean I can’t be at the end of my rope, and you simply don’t know. Do you? Thank you for taking your time to extinguish my last spark.

[ill-be-istj-if-no-one-else-is]

Hello! Love your blog. I was wondering if I could get some typing help? I have a general idea of what I am, but that’s not saying much since I have a tendency to hop between a few of them (INTJ, ENTJ, ESTJ specifically). Either way, hopefully you can help me settle it.

I’m 22 and about to graduate from college. It’s been a journey, because I’ve transferred twice and changed plans a few times, but that’s the proper college experience, I think. One transfer closer to home can be owed to depression and Covid, while the first was simply me not meshing with the campus. I’m not too worried about how it’ll affect my grad school apps due to good grades and valid reasons.

Despite the schooling-related indecision, I tend to get an idea of what I want, then fixate on it heavily. Example: I recently tried to publish a novel I’ve been working on for years now. Realistically, I know the odds of getting your first work published and making enough money to start a career on it are beyond low, but a big part of me thought “yeah, except I worked on this draft consistently all these months and this feels right, so it has to pay off” – of course, it didn’t. That’s not to say it wasn’t worth it, but I’ve come to accept it won’t be that easy, so I’m going to focus on a job with more security first lol. That means proceeding with law school. Some friends might think I’m selling my soul by putting my dreams on the back burner. I disagree, though, because if writing is meant to be I can still make it happen this way but with more security. Plus, I’m used to having some higher objective to motivate me through each day, and I don’t like feeling aimless. To me, that would be settling for less: wasting time working next to minimum wage at some place I can’t see myself staying.

I’d like to think of myself as spontaneous despite knowing I’m really not. When I’m with friends, maybe, but I’m more than happy to do nothing on Friday nights, knowing I’ll be able to wake up early tomorrow and do whatever I’m doing at a decent time. That being said, I would be happy to hop on a flight across the world if someone offered to pay the way. I love travel, so I’d hope to find a career that makes that possible. The same goes for whatever work I’m doing. Ideally, I could move from place to place as I do my job, because I fear being rooted will keep me from seeing everything I’d like to see.

I’m definitely an introvert dichotomy wise, but if group work appears, I’m happy to make a plan and remind everyone when a due date is near, and I expect them to follow through or provide some forewarning. I’m not outright nasty when someone inevitably slips up, but I’m not going to give them an excuse either. Can’t relate since I’ve never had a problem with procrastination. Like, I’d say I’m procrastinating, but to me procrastinating is choosing not to get ahead on the project due next week while I have spare time now. That makes me sound like a robot or a liar, but I’m mostly just very aware of my limitations and have learned how to manage work in a way that keeps me from having to stress.

I have no idea how to end this. Quick notes? I’m ambitious but not competitive – literally cannot relate to envy, because I don’t think someone having something means you can’t have it too – you just have to work on/for it. I’m not very curious lmao. Like, I’m as curious as the average person, but I don’t care about how things work (Ti slacking?). Uhh, fandoms annoy me. Like, seeing fans distort characters and needlessly project onto them in cringe ways makes my brain itchy. I’ve been called insensitive. I can easily cut someone off after finding, for a fact, that they’re being manipulative. Whatever baggage they have, I don’t care. I don’t see the point in fighting for a relationship when a “friend” is working against you. I’m also the “advice friend” because I don’t have drama and seem to know how to diffuse it easily or cut it out completely. Now that I think about it, all of my closest friends have a lot of anxiety, so maybe I collect them and care for them a little since I have none.

Hopefully that wasn’t too much useless info. I think I’m mainly struggling on differentiating between lower Ne vs Lower Se. My indecision comes in rare bouts, so maybe that’s the weak Ne manifesting. Or maybe I’m lower Se for forgetting the larger scheme by focusing on material things like getting to travel and making a high salary? Whatever. These are things most people prioritize, though. Let me know if you need any specifics. Also, thank you for taking the time to read this! I really appreciate how informative your blog is and all the resources you share.

Hi anon,

To be honest I am really not sure based on this, and it might be good for you to revisit this after a little bit of time out of school. I would rule out the Ti-Fe axis, but I can actually see arguments for either high Te or high Fi My guess is high Ni if you have high Te you don't really sound like a high Si user - and part of what is tripping me up the most is that you said a lot of things that make me thing of high Fi and the spontaneity of Se or Ne, but there's a lot here that really sounds intuitive but distinctly not like an Ne user. So I actually think there are arguments for either INTJ or ISFP, and I actually lean a little more towards "ISFP with good discipline/time management" than INTJ.

Here's my thought process, which hopefully can get you started.

I do feel like transferring twice is a little abnormal (not bad, just more than the typical college experience of maybe one transfer and changing one's major once or twice) but COVID did fuck with things more than usual so no conclusions there.

The fixation on writing a novel and the long-shot of gaining enough success to focus on that full time - particularly right out of school or even before graduation - is either intuitive or possibly high Fi. I really do not think an ESTJ would have that idea - not that they wouldn't be a writer, but I don't think they would have had the same expectations surrounding payoff and would have assumed from the start that this will not be their career initially. For that matter I have my doubts on ENTJ, but it could be possible for INTJ.

The part about spontaneity actually fits really well with auxiliary Se or Ne, in that those types at your age will have moderation from Ni or Si respectively and will often want a combination of stability but also the ability to travel a lot and move around. The example you gave actually still seemed very spontaneous; a lot of ExTJs for example might really dislike doing nothing on a Friday night and would instead have something planned. What you describe sounds very go-with-the-flow, just in a low-key way.

The part about procrastination indicates that Ne is probably off the table but Se is possible; some SPs are pretty good at being realistic about getting things done and it sounds like you don't have the high Te motivation of "I must get this done early" (not that high Te users can't procrastinate or do things on time but not down-to-the-wire).

I often tie ambition/competitive nature to enneagram more than MBTI, but I will say a lot of Te users and especially Te-doms tend to be both. They don't have to be (and if they're only one, usually it's ambition over competition), but it's pretty common. Curiosity is complicated but not caring about how literally everything works does seem like it would rule out Ti and I'd fully agree there. The part about being frustrated by fandom distortion of characters is relatable to me and I feel that comes from a place of sensing, ie, were you not paying attention to canon, so that seems like a point towards high Se for you. The parts about advice and interpersonal relationships mostly just reinforce that you sound more like someone on the Fi-Te axis, which you already suspected, but again...being the advice friend, particularly from a caring position, seems more high Fi to me than INTJ; a lot of IxTJs (and definitely ExTJs) at your age are just not emotionally ready for that level of patience with anxiety. I know I wasn't.

I would also say focusing on the material things (travel, a liveable salary) is more in line with higher Se! Te users do have a measure of pragmatism, so again, can't rule out INTJ, but the travel especially is what's making me think Se is pretty high in your stack.

All in all? My guess is an ISFP with good time management skills, possibly with an enneagram 6 adding to the stability/pragmatism. That said I wouldn't totally rule out INTJ (possibly also enneagram 6?); I just think it's less likely.

[hobimysun-shine]

(...) part 2.

(part 1)

Hello. So my blood’s been boiling all day long reading the things regarding Jungkook, Jaehyun, Mingyu and Eunwoo’s actions and the media’s and kfans comments about it. So i gotta say a few things again, I’m literally so mad at this point idc if anyone will agree or disagree with me, I just need to say it.  

So I got a list.

1. Let’s start chronologically with what Dispatch comes up with: Jungkook, Jaehyun, Mingyu and Eunwoo have visited CLUBS in Itaewon in time of Coronavirus, after they encouraged social distancing. Okay. So dispatch (the hypocritical tabloid that will constantly search promotion and support from idols, and will later blackmail them with info about THEIR OWN PERSONAL BUSINESS), releases that information without mentioning any dates of the occurrence, BUT 

right before BTS is releasing something new

ASTRO’s current promotions 

Seventeen’s new docu series are out

NCT’s comeback literally a few hours away

right after there has been a corona outbreak in some Itaewon clubs

right in the midst of Nth room’s owner’s prosecution

 And surely enough omits the fact that the boys did not go to a club, but went to a restaurant and a bar, after Korea’s regulations about social distancing have been somewhat dropped, people were allowed to go eat out or walk around freely in small groups and a WEEK (25th april) before any covid-19 outbreak (1st may) happened, in a place far away from where the idols were. So in conclusion, dispatch had this info for a month now, decided to release it in a crucial time for all the members of the groups and at a time much much more important crimes are being brought up to light in Korea AND decides to miss out on the fact that this is literally nothing more, but a dinner with friends. 

2. Let’s talk about the situation in South Korea with COVID-19 and the reactions of the “fans”. Don’t you dare come up to me with “facts” about the virus that people don’t know, because I am a med student, I’ve been more than introduced to the virus by all of my professors and I am currently writing a final essay on Social medicine and the epidemiology of viruses and diseases, guess where, that’s right, in South Korea. So, let me tell you some stuff: South Korea was NEVER in a state of a full lockdown. People were encouraged to practice social distancing and through the discipline and resources of the country, the count of the people who got the virus was kept low. From being the second country with most cases after China inFebruary , due to early regulations, South Korea managed to score 0 new patients on the 30th April, AFTER the boys went out and after places like restaurants, malls, bars were working. So if you’re gonna bash on the idols, how about you also do it with the majority of Seoul that was free to go out. Jungkook, Jaehyun, Mingyu and Eunwoo NEVER broke any laws, never acted out in a midst of the virus spreading and never did anything that the normal human (which they are btw, idk if kfans have noticed) would do at that point. 

So that brings me to the Hypocrisy of korean “fans”. We all saw that the majority of the hate comes from them. Honey, things are bad in the other countries, you are aware of the regulations in your own, so you can not use the “i didn’t know how thing were” because YOU LITERALLY LIVE IN THE SAME PLACE. So tell me why I saw things like “You shouldn’t have become an idol”, “I want a written apology” (which you got :))) and get ready for the last one - “kill yourself”. Why, maybe because there is nothing going on in your boring life that you want to take on four people who did nothing against their country and you are going against  their freedom as individuals. I love the fact that international fans are more willing to not blindly trust a media’s words, when some literally have it worse in their countries and kfans are ready to throw idols under the bus right away. And by “I love”, i mean I hate this shit. How spineless can you be?

3. Now, here is the deal. They are idols. Therefore yes, I agree with the fact that if they were going to go out and get caught, more or less we live in a world, where they should have expected some backlash, regardless if it’s from dumb haters. However it’s one thing to say “hey that wasn’t right” and it’s another to put them all at the stake, for literally going out with their friends, while breaking none of the regulations of their own country. Seeing the comment on Jaehyun’s insta that promoted suicide, I can’t help, but think about Sulli and Jonghyun, who had such a hard time with managing this “idol image” and constantly being put on a scale or under a microscope for each action, that they made the decision to take away their own life. Is that what you want? It’s easy to sit behind the keyboard and blurt out hate just because you cannot deal with your own issues, but words cut deep, and I don’t know how some people still have the nerve to do these things when we live in 2020 and we have suffered these losses. 

4. Lastly I want to say that there are much more important stuff that we should be focusing on, like for example the whole situation with the Nth room being revealed right now, which involves Sex trafficking and exploitation of human rights, and you want to focus of four men having dinner together. I’m not saying that dispatch has anything to do with that case, because I really don’t know that,  but this speaks for us as a society. Do we really want to let rapists and sexual predators (Moon Hyun Wook) live their best life with zero criticism and reflection on what they did and prosecute Jungkook, Jaehyun, Mingyu and Eunwoo for doing literally nothing illegal and dangerous, just making a poor decision for their image because of the time we live in? Well, damn.