#if you haven't seen Halloween: Resurrection

[slutforstabbings]

Sorry if you didn't like Halloween Ends but it's not for you, David Gordon Green made it like that for me because he loves me.

[james-stark-the-writer]

finally getting around to watching Wrong Turn 2 since i enjoyed the first Wrong Turn so much (go read all about it here: My ★★★★½ review of Wrong Turn on Letterboxd) and like, if you haven't seen the original, it is legitimately a really good low budget horror movie that, while it uses well-worn tropes and characters and settings, it really does them incredibly effectively like it is really fun and well made. but i am less than 8 minutes into the second movie and this franchise is already crashing and burning, how was every lesson they learned from the first movie so wrong, it's like the entire opposite of the appeal of the original, how is this already so bad, like the direction isn't horrible, it's actually kinda fun, but it's like leaning into the gore unlike the original and the first kill was like needlessly drawn out and for some reason they're doing a fucking Reality TV Survival Show thing to follow for the main cast like it's fucking Halloween: Resurrection and like that comparison i don't think is going to bode well for this movie.

so i'm not hoping that this is going to be any kind of good but let's see if it's the least going to be entertaining bc jesus fucking christ it's already fucking awful absolutely dogshit like comical levels of gore, like a character gets split in half in the first 7 minutes with an ax and this is not horizontal, it's vertical, from skull to pelvis. so yeah, like we are already doing some comical fucking shit so what the fuck is this movie going to be because the first movie was really lean, it was really scary, and it was very effective, and it took itself and it's premise seriously. it felt like a movie someone loved and wanted to make and genuinely cared about. and in the first 8 minutes this movie is comically over the top, not terribly directed, absurdly gory and just fucking schlocky. so if it's going to be schlocky, it better be some really good shlock.

[noahhawthorneauthor]

I am so excited for the readalong! I've got my pencil and playlist ready, going to do all the annotating. I can't believe it's nearly been a while year since this beauty released, and I'm so proud of it.

Are you reading with us? The readalong starts on Halloween and will be very laid back, there's a Storygraph challenge and a Fable Book Club for those who like that sort of thing. I'll also be talking about my annotations and the book here on Tumblr. There is a playlist for the book here.

The ebook is still free for a couple more days, so head on over to my bookfunnel and pickup a copy if you haven't already ❤️🏳️‍🌈🍁

Cover art by @crossroadart-seabear

Blurb:

Arlo Rook has decided it’s time to move out of Garren Castle, home for orphans of all races, magical or not, at 100 years old.

It’s not the first time he’s left home, but after a setback that landed the Hedge Witch in the hospital a year ago, he ended up right back at square one. But now he’s ready to strike out on his own, despite his friend’s worries that he’s not ready for the ‘real world.’

Then, he crashes into a mess of copper curls and bright eyes, sending apothecary goods and his life into a chaotic mess. Thatch is a mysterious and incredibly wealthy benefactor of Levena, only spoken of but never seen. He requests a night of Arlo’s company and a tour of the city, which Arlo immediately declines.

But that’s not the last time they see each other, and it certainly wasn’t the first. Arlo doesn’t remember him, no one remembers Thatch after he visits, but Thatch never forgot the Witch with a familiar mark on his face.

Thatch Phantom is an immortal, the last of his kind and perpetually bored. When he’s not closing inter-dimensional rifts and corralling demons, he’s visiting his favorite city of all, Levena. Centuries ago, when life was particularly dull, he set up a scavenger hunt for a starving village, providing them with a year’s worth of supplies.

He anonymously returned year after year, upping the ante and providing less practical things, as the village had become a city and was wealthy beyond belief. Festivals were thrown in his honor, and have continued every year since. Hundreds of years later, The Game is still put on by the fabled ‘Scarlet Illusionist’, but no one has figured out who blesses them with the puzzles.

Once again, Thatch is listless and has decided to throw a wild card into this year’s Game. Whoever discovers him will win one wish of their choice, no restrictions. Aside from the obvious, such as no falling in love, murder or resurrection.

What he didn’t anticipate was crashing into the one person whose soul mark flares like a beacon when Thatch is around, teasing the immortal with the one thing he wants most.

Someone to call home.

What follows is a wild chain of events filled with magical coffee shops, villains with vendettas against cheese makers, moving tattoos, grand puzzles, and second chances at love, and life.

[torturedpoetemotions]

Hi! I’m sorry if you already have a post about this but I would love to hear your expanded thoughts on Dean as the Final Girl. I love your ideas!!

Hi! I don't have a post about this yet. I've seen a lot of people talk about Dean as a Final Girl and I've seen some great art for it! I highly recommend searching "final girl dean" and you'll find some stuff. I'll also reblog some of my faves here in a minute.

That being said, the reason I haven't talked about it is because I've never really thought deeply about Final Girl Dean beyond the loud little PING in my brain when I first saw that phrase and went "oh yeah, that's it, that's the stuff." He's got the aesthetics he's got the vibes he's got the Jender.

He IS the Final Girl , 15x20 notwithstanding. We watch for him, the story is about him. It's about seeing him suffer but also seeing him fight for his life and ultimately survive. The Final Girl's survival is as important as her trauma, it's what makes good horror cathartic instead of just a mindless gore-fest.

Which is--and brace yourself for my extremely unhumble horror fan opinions as well as spoilers for several horror movies I'm going to use as examples--another reason the finale sucked: as a show that grew out of the horror genre, and kept a lot of its tropes and underpinnings even after it stopped being remotely scary, there was no excuse for such a shitty, stilted, try-and-fail-to-make-everybody-happy ending.

A good horror movie should end on either "we survived" (good examples include The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (the original), Halloween (2020), Ready or Not, Scream) or "fuck here we go again" (great examples include The Ring, All Cheerleaders Die, The Babysitter, and Jensen's very own starring role in the 2010 remake of My Bloody Valentine). The rare horror movie that ends on a bleak note for every character does so in a way that should fuck with you and leave you staring at the wall for a few hours at least, going "what the fuck did I just watch" but unable to stop thinking about it (good examples include Cabin In The Woods, Midsommar, and I Am The Pretty Thing That Lives In The House).

SPN's ending, particularly the ending for Dean, did none of that. Nobody survived. There was no possibility of the characters' story continuing beyond what we can see. And the general reaction for something like 75% of the audience was "I not only never want to think about that again, I wish I could actually un-watch it." It was sappy, emotionally flat, too final, and deeply, deeply unsatisfying because of it. The most immediate horror parallel I can draw off the top of my head is Halloween: Resurrection, one of the shittiest Halloween films and, not coincidentally, the one where Laurie Strode is killed by Michael Myers (she gets better by virtue of reboots that said "never mind that nonsense," but still).

So yes, Dean is the Final Girl. Dean is the one whose pain is most often focused on in Supernatural, the one who cries, the one who suffers, the one who fights for survival. His suffering is the point, but so is the fight, and so is the eventual triumph. Dean in pain, covered in blood, fighting for his life is objectified and eroticized, yes, but we're also encouraged to form a real emotional attachment to him and his story, and to root for him.

And most of all, the suffering and death of other characters is most often filtered through Dean's perspective. We as the audience often choose to care about the characters for their own sake, yes, but we are encouraged to care about them because Dean cares about them, or to hate them because Dean hates them, or fear them because he does, etc. Their deaths are meant to matter to us because they are part of Dean's suffering.

We primarily get Dean's reaction to his father's death, we almost exclusively get Dean's reaction to Sam's, we get Dean's pain when Cas dies and his worry when Cas or Sam are hurt. It's Dean's reaction that matters most when Sam is being seduced by Ruby, Dean's reaction that matters most when Cas is working with Crowley (and not just to Sam or Cas; it's Dean's reaction the camera focuses on, and it's Dean's reaction that takes up the most script). Dean's pain is the primary reason we care about Mary's death the first time, but it's also the one that takes precedence when Mary is alive and not the mom he remembers, or even when Mary dies a second time (even though Sam actually knew her and can miss her this time around).

This starts as early as the second episode of season one, and continues with few interruptions through season 15 episode 18. But somehow they (the writers, the network, Andrew Dabb, whoever ultimately made the decision about the ending) expected us to switch that off and suddenly care more about Dean as accessory to someone else's story, rather than Dean himself (or, you know, his relationships to other characters). And it didn't work. The Final Girl's suffering requires the catharsis of survival, and we didn't get that for Dean.

So. I guess I lied when I said I didn't have any thoughts, because I just wrote you a fricking novel. But I really hadn't sat down and thought about this before now, beyond the "oooo yes" reaction the first time I heard the comparison made.

Now, Monstrous Feminine Sam on the other hand? I have many thoughts, head full. I'm working on a whole Post about that. And probably one about how Cas embodies the Horror of Motherhood, though others have already talked about that plenty before.

[sunphroggy]

have you ever seen the best movie of all time aka Hocus Pocus? (if you haven't I rlly suggest you do it's *chefs kiss*) Well, what if I- *dsmp-ifyies another piece of media*

*ahem* So, on October 31st, 1693, Technoblade witnesses his sister being whisked away into the woods by three witches (aka the dream team) who want to absorb her youth and regain their own through the power of a potion they brew.

Being the big brother he is, Technoblade rushes into the woods to confront the witches but is too late and is transformed into an immortal pig forced to live with his guilt for not saving his sister.

Dream, George and Sapnap are arrested and sentence them to death for the murder of Technoblade and his sister but before their execution, Dream casts a spell that will resurrect the three of them when there is a full moon on All Hallows Eve and a foolish child lights a cursed candle.

Flash forward, modern day, Halloween. The Watson Family have moved to Salem and Wilbur, the eldest son, is having trouble settling in. After a fight with his father, Phil, Wilbur is being forced to take his younger brother Tommy trick-or-treating and the two brothers sneak into the Witches Cottage which has now been turned into a museum.

The cottage is typical. Lots of cobweds, smells bad. Oh, and there's a candle on display in the middle of the room with a sign that says DANGER ABSOLUTELY UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES SHOULD YOU LIGHT THIS CANDLE PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS HOLY DO NOT LIGHT THIS CANDLE I'M LITERALLY BEGGING YOU.

So naturally Wilbur lights it.

And this inadvertently resurrects century old witches who want revenge on the town for killing them. Oh and they also want to eat children's souls. And gosh by luck should have it, there's a blonde child right there waiting for them.

After setting off the sprinklers, saving Tommy and stealing a weird looking spell book, Wilbur gets the fuck out of there only to find a pig who can apparently talk and uses that ability to call Wilbur a complete fucking idiot for lighting that candle, he goes by the name Techno.

Techno leads the brothers to an old cemetery because Dream, George and Sapnap cannot step foot on hallowed ground. Here, he shows them the grave of his sister and a man named Sam, who used to aid the witches back in the day but betrayed them and was consequently killed by Dream and had his mouth sewn shut so he couldn't tell their secrets, even in death. He tells them of his life, of what happened to him and his sister and the curse he is under and he warns Wilbur to protect Tommy at all costs because you don't know how much someone means to you until theyre gone.

Techno informs them that the witches spell only lasts on Halloween, and unless they suck the soul out of at least one child they will turn to dust when the sun rises.

Meanwhile, the Dream Team try to adjust to the modern world, resulting in some shenanigans as they though some child dressed as a devil was Satan Himself and that a road was just a very deep black river.

(Dream, standing just at the line where grass becomes tarmac: what the fuck is this??

George: Looks like a river, a really deep river

Dream: How can we be sure?

Sapnap: *literally just standing there*

Dream:

George:

They push Sapnap onto the road, resulting is lots of screaming and claims that he can't swim and that he's going to drown. Only for him to realises he's still just standing there.)

Anyway. Eventually, they catch up to out ragtag band of hero's, and Dream raises the dead body of Sam to chase them on foot where they cannot step.

After a close chase with Zombie Sam, Wilbur decides to be a responsible big brother and go find his parents who are attending a big Halloween party at City Hall. Tommy tells him he's being stupid and they can take on the witches - or, as he cleverly calls them, the bitches - all by themselves. But, nonetheless, the brothers plus a talking pig make it to City Hall. Unfortunately, so do the Dream Team.

(This scene is my favourite part of the actual movie and perhaps its just because I Put a Spell on You is my favourite song but anyways-)

Wilbur, unsuccessfully, tries to convince his father and the towns folk that the witches are back but Dream preforms an absolutely stellar performance of I Put a Spell on You (with George and Sapnap as back ups, of course) and all the partygoers are enchanting to dance until they day.

Running out of options, the trio run to the high school where Tommy has the bright idea to burn them alive. And it works! Using Tommy they lure Dream, George and Sapnap into the kiln and set the bitches ablaze. Woo! Day saved!

Or so they think.

Thinking that the danger has passed, Wilbur studies through the pages of the spellbook to find away to reverse the curse on Techno and turn him back to human, unknowning that the spellbook alerts the witches of their whereabouts and the Dream Team track them down, kidnapping Tommy and taking back the spellbook in the process.

Flying above town Sapnap casts a spell over the town which lures all the children in town towards the cottage.

Frantic, Wilbur and Techno plot a way to retrieve Tommy - because Phil is going to put him six feet under if he comes home from being enchanted at that party to find that Tommy has been taken and killed by a trio of century old witches. Using car headlights, they manage to convince the Dream Team that sunrise comes an hour early and in their panic, Wilbur grabs Tommy just before the witches can suck the rest of his soul and escapes back to the cemetery to wait out until sunrise but they are ambushed by Sam, who uses a sharp piece of glass to cut the stitches on his mouth and then yell the head off Dream.

The witches attack, and Dream attempts to use the last bit of potion to suck the rest of Tommy's soul but Techno snatches it off him and gives it to Wilbur. In an attempt to save his brother, Wilbur drinks the potion so the witches have to take him instead of Tommy which Dream is more than happy to do if it means he gets to live.

But just as Wilbur is about to die, Tommy screaming in the background as he fends off Sapnap and George, the sun rises causing Dream to fall onto the hallowed ground of the cemetery and turn into a stone statue, while George and Sapnap get caught in the light and disintegrate into dust.

With the witches gone, the curse that has been held over Techno for centuries has been lifted and his pig body dies, leaving the spirit of the man he once was to be reunited with his sister in the afterlife. Sam returns to his grave, now able to rest in peace.

The partygoers awake from their enchantment, completely unaware of anything that transpired. The children of the town return to their beds.

And Wilbur burns the spellbook with the same lighter he used to light the candle that started this whole thing, then he and Tommy walk home.

[roseverdict]

i know i jokingly say i have no chill but i actually have no chill

@starry-nightengale made a superpowered portal au and i legit only just learned about it like an hour ago and i've been in a kirby Mood™ for weeks and haven't portalled in months™ but THIS STILL FLOWED OUT LITERALLY JUST NOW I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY AKXHSJDJSJDJSNDK

idea because i just wanted to write the one scene before it consumed me entirely: Aperture catches wind of just how Lady Valor got her portal powers and sends a villain out to do her in, since the world loves her too much to try and sue her or something. Maladroid doesn't like that. Lady V doesn't like that. Doug doesn't like that. Frankly, the only thing keeping them from demolishing the Aperture-sent villain themselves is the whole part where Chell's the super who is also a hero, whereas the guys are only one each. When Chell gets walloped something fierce, however, all bets are off.

〜〜〜〜〜〜

Lunaria cut herself off and glared up at the billboards high above. "Oh, have you decided to reconsider my offer, Maladroid? Because your window of opportunity has long been closed."

Maladroid's image flickered into being on the billboard. "Au contraire, my devious rival. I have been considering it this whole time! Rather in-depth, too, if I do say so myse-"

"GET TO THE POINT, YOU VERBOSE MORON!" The newcomer snarled, tightening her grip on her captive's arm.

Maladroid froze for a moment, then his face fell into a truly terrifying expression and his tone darkened. "First off, I am not a moron. Let's get that squared away. Secondly, as I was saying, before you so rudely interrupted me, I've been considering it this whole time, and I believe I have an answer for you. I do hope you won't mind me explaining how I got it."

The two villains glared daggers at each other for a brief moment, but the newer of the pair stayed silent.

"Splendid." Maladroid broke the silence with a voice that was anything but 'splendid.' "You see, your offer to join you seemed interesting on the surface, but after mulling it over for, oh, about twelve seconds, I was able to pick it apart with ease.

"First of all, you seem to think I'm out to destroy my enemies and all of Caveopolis. I know I'm an intimidating figure and all-" Off-screen, another person stifled a laugh. "-shut it, you. I know I'm intimidating, but you seem to have completely misinterpreted my motivations."

"Oh, really?" Lunaria rolled her eyes, tapping a few buttons on her supersuit as if to unleash another devastating sonic blast like the one that felled the still-missing Lady Valor. "Then what, pray tell, did I miss?"

"Well, I can't just give it away like Halloween candy, now, can I?" Maladroid winked and leaned closer to the camera. "I'll give you a sporting chance to figure out why I'm calling right now, though."

"Oh, how gentlemanly." Lunaria deadpanned. "Get on with it!"

"What rhymes with ball?" Maladroid smirked.

Lunaria scowled. "Quit wasting my time with these useless riddles and make your point! I have a schedule to keep, you know!"

"Ooh, 'wasting time,' that one's close, but…" Maladroid's smirk grew.

The camera he was using shifted to show the person who had laughed. Their silhouette was all Lunaria could make out, but even then, it set her on edge.

"…no cigar." Maladroid finished. He leaned back and pasted on a cheery smile. "Try again!"

Lunaria grit her teeth, about to blast the billboard to bits, when the sound of one of Maladroid's drones caught her attention.

It floated down from the top of a nearby building, and Lunaria could've sworn she'd seen someone in white scurry away like some sort of rat. Something was attached to the drone's lower handle, though it was difficult to make out what exactly it was.

"Oh, so you were stalling?" Lunaria barked out a laugh. "And what's this supposed to do? Vaporize me? Warp me to the moon? Resurrect your precious Lady Valor?"

"Not exactly." Maladroid spun around once in his chair, as if he hadn't a care in the world. Behind him, the silhouette was joined by another, the newcomer slightly short of breath.

Fwp! The drone activated the device in its clutches, and the wall nearest Lunaria lit up a brilliant blue.

Maladroid chuckled darkly as the first silhouette outstretched an arm, lighting his lair with the orange light of a campfire, only far more steady.

"You see, you can't resurrect someone if they never died to begin with."

The second silhouette kept his face covered, but Lunaria could recognize his white coat from moments before. The first, however…

Lady Valor lifted her piercing gaze, as if to make eye contact with Lunaria through the camera, and sprinted into the orange portal.

Lunaria had a brief moment of realization.

Weren't Lady Valor's trademark portals orange and blue? Specifically, the blue of the nearby wall once Maladroid's drone had done…whatever it was it did?

And then all her meticulous planning fell apart.