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chaosmacaron · 2 years

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Long ass rant/trauma dumping I cried like twice writing this I meant to just write about something that was on my mind recently but it turned to a recap of my entire life

I wish I knew how to find people I relate to irl because all my friends are cis straight and white and like I love them they’re rlly nice but I don’t relate to them at all I always feel like the only thing I can do in a conversation with them is smile and nod especially because like half of them are in their Harry Potter twilight teen dystopian book/movie era. I tried getting into Harry Potter so I had something to talk to them about but I just couldn’t, I already wore it out when I was 12 and especially with all the ick I know about jk rowling now I just don’t rlly enjoy it as much. And w twilight I just can’t because back in like 2014 I was on the side of tumblr who criticized/made fun of twilight like it’s in my dna now not to be able to enjoy it lmaoo.

I’m not trynna make fun of them or anything I just feel the things they enjoy now I enjoyed when I was like 11-12 probably because I was on the internet far too early. Also they’re all on straight tik tok. Im still traumatized from having to pretend to simp over rando guys thirst traps😭 like I do all that for them but they can’t even pretend to not think I’m weird for liking anime/bts. I don’t even dare to bring up video games

I guess this comes with living in a predominantly white area but sometimes they just be saying/doing some racially ignorant things and I don’t feel like saying anything because I’m usually the only poc in the room. (This is a goofier one but one time this girl was singing a song with the n-word in it originally and she made a point to tell me that she would never say it like girl i hope not do u want a sticker or sum lmaooo)

Anyway I legit don’t know any black people my age and it feels so isolating like even when I was in elementary school I remember always being aware that I was always the only black/brown girl in my class sometimes the only one period. I felt so different. When I was like 10-11 I was obsessed with staying out of the sun and looking up ways to lighten my skin. I would feel so ugly after a beach/pool day because of my tan I would exfoliate so vigorously to try and get rid of my melanin. One time I went to Disney world and I tried so hard to keep reapplying sunscreen and stay in the shade. I was happy when I didn’t get too tan it was just a mess of internalized colorism in my preteen years

I didn’t think this would be emotional to write but I’m lowkey tearing up

Anyways a separate but related thing that bothers me I can barely connect with most of my cultures with my parents. My mom is Afro-latina and I feel pretty in touch with my Mexican side because we see that part of my family the most and my abuela lives with us but we RARELY see my African American side of my family and my mom isn’t rlly in touch with her African American culture so by extension neither am I and that makes me kinda sad.

My dad is mixed jamaican and Chinese. I rarely see his side of the family period and my grandpa is 1st gen immigrant from china so I know non of his family which is a bit of a bummer because I’d love to know about the culture. The only Chinese culture my dad has is his ability to use chopsticks and he used to watch a lot of old kung fu movies but in dubs that had highkey racist accents. He’s more in touch w his Jamaican side as he’s a first gen immigrant from there but I can tell he’s become quite Americanized since I was younger especially since 2016 when he got into politics. Oh lord it’s been so downhill since then and the hill got steeper in 2020 when he discovered his conservative podcast. He literally listens to them everyday and I have to listen to homophobia/transphobia/non-poc giving their ignorant 2 cents on poc issues every damn day and my dad eats that shit up. He doesn’t even listen to his Jamaican music in the car no more it’s literally just those stupid ass podcast. And that’s all he talks about too he could go on and on forever about his bigotry and his guns. Oh lord don’t get him started on his guns he literally spent like 45 minutes talking to this random old guy about guns in bass pro shop. Even my uncle who posts his rifles on Facebook got tired of him lmaooo. I love him because he’s my dad but I would literally not associate with him if he wasn’t. Same goes for my mom and all of my parents friends. They think transphobia and shit is the funniest thing. They talk about it so casually like do y’all even have any other hobbies or music or media u could talk about why do u feel so fulfilled being hateful I thought u were Christian🤨

Also my mom says ching chong and pulls back her eyes and shit as jokes and my dad thinks it’s funny like ma’am ur husband is half Chinese and sir YOU are half Chinese have some dignity. That shi makes me mad. One time my mom called my eyes ch!nky and thankfully I had recently seen a video of an asian women calling out somebody for saying that so I was able to know that it was a whole ass slur because I had never heard that word before. And my mom was like “oh but I guess that’s a bad word now” like bish it was always a slur racism against Asians is just so normalized in whatever environment u were raised in. And one time at universal an asian looking dude was telling us the rules and shit and not even a second after that man left us my mom was like “ni-hao😜” I was so embarrassed and she thinks that shits hilarious and so does my dad. Weak ass links I say they’re literally casually racist to their own races. And they dismiss me when I try to say something. Hate it here. Also they think they can talk on Native American issues like how u gonna say a football team being named a slur or a tribe name being used for a car is good representation like stay out of their business shut up and listen to them. And they say their land wasn’t stolen and they shouldn’t be angry anymore I’m not even gonna get into that that just makes so fucking mad

I’m digressing but I feel so strongly about this they’ve even turned my sweet little brother into a whole homophobe. We were watching Eternals and when the husbands kissed my brother was like “really🙄” like boy what happened to u I don’t even like u no mo.

If I ever get into a relationship with a woman/nonbinary person or even a feminine guy it’ll over I’m gonna have to ghost everyone because I will be shamed and shunned to no end by my entire family. Maybe my sister will be accepting but she’s like a lowkey cringy type of ally so I might not even tell her💀💀 but yeah the thought of being disowned haunts me everyday. Imma have to be hella financially stable and live far far away if I ever want to come out to them. When I was 11 I discovered what being transgender was and related so much. I was obsessed with watch the same 3 trans documentaries everyday after school and it made me so happy to see all these people be accepted and loved by their family. I was so naive to think my family would be as accepting. I daydreamed about taking t one day and getting a binder. But nah my dad was straight up like ur going to hell lol. And for two years I was treated differently and sometimes bullied by my family until I eventually was bullied into being cis again (or so I thought😏 the pandemic made me realize some things about myself that I had repressed) but yeah I was too young and naive back then I was coming out to like everybody because I hadn’t experienced homophobia yet I didn’t now how dangerous it could’ve been. When I cut my hair by myself my dad told me that he would’ve punched me if I was a real boy. And one time I showed him a redraw I did of something I made when I was younger thinking he’d be impressed by how much my drawing has improved but he told me he liked the old one better because he liked who I was better back then (That was a deeply buried memory I’m am tearing up now I was fucking 11- 12 why would you say such things you fucking asshole that was so traumatic.) Thankfully my teacher at the time was a real one and so were my friends even tho they didn’t rlly understand.

Anyways yeah my family are the only people of my race that I know and they’re literally insufferable half the time. I wish I had some poc and lgbt+ friends irl but I don’t know how to find them I feel like I’m surrounded by white christians and I have no car or money or driver’s license to go to a con or smth idk to meet more diverse people. I see all these cool friend groups on tik tok and I just feel so envious. Like how does one find such cool friends. My mom is quitting her job soon through so I’ll have a ride to a job and I’ll be able to start saving my own money. If the economy is willing maybe one day soon I’ll be able to get my own car so that I can start living a life of my own and do what makes me happy and meet people like me.

#jojo’s bs

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springfieldblues · 4 years

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my long ass review for S32E03 Now Museum, Now You Don’t

warning: LONG because i rambled about history more than i thought i would

id been looking forward to this one because i like art history, especially after seeing how they tried their best to stick to historical accuracy in the previous episode I, Carumbus. this time however….they didnt try that hard. i dont know why i thought theyd go through that sort of trouble again LMAO

but its okay, i dont really expect the simpsons to be the paragon of historical accuracy or anything. especially in anthology episodes told through a particular character's lens (in this case, lisa, whos already feverish so whatever)

first i just wanna say that this is, i guess, less of a review and more of an accidental list of history fun facts. so im just gonna get my general thoughts out of the way first.

the episode was fun! to me at least haha. i mean it got me to think and do a lot of research on my own so that must count for something. besides a couple of really weird ones, the jokes were good. anthology episodes tend to be….not that good but i thought this one was one of the better ones so far. idk.

anyway on to lisanardo da vinky its the renaissance! jesus christ the italian accents in the beginning of this segment were annoying as hell but i also feel like that was the joke lmao. ill be real i kind of tuned out for a second there when grampa started rambling so idk what he said.

i told myself i wouldnt get nitpicky with historical accuracy if the jokes were funny (final edit: so that was a lie) but this meh bit with the pizza guys and mascots was really not worth ignoring the fact that its impossible for italy to have any tomato-based food in the 15th century (tomatoes were brought to europe from the americas in the 16th century, and pizza as we know it today—flatbread, cheese, tomato—originated in the late 18th century)

oh this next part was kind of legit tho. lisanardo, like the real leonardo, became andrea del verrochio's apprentice at his workshop. i loved this next bit:

"Whoever paints the sweetest cherub will have the honor of having MY name signed on their work. That's what great artists do!"

SO YEAH as it turns out, lisanardo painted the sweetest cherubs. the painting here is called The Baptism of Christ, and the real leonardo assisted verrochio in finishing it. specifically, he painted the cherubs in the corner.

this causes verrochio to quit and go someplace with less talented people: a music school (yes, verrochio did quit painting after getting owned by young leo and his mad angel painting skills. he never did anything with music tho, he was more of a sculptor)

alongside lisanardo, in mr largo-verrochio's workshop we have barticelli (botticelli bart), dolphatello (donatello dolph), ralphael (raphael...ralph) and mediocrito (no one that i know of. sorry milhouse) (and kearney i guess but they dont refer to him by name). botticelli and donatello are said to have also been apprentices at verrochio's workshop, but raphael came a couple of decades later so he couldnt have been there. and donatello was too old so that claim is a bit questionable. but anyway

it IS true that leonardo's peers envied him, to the point where he was anonymously and purposefully accused of being gay (a major crime punishable by death in 15th century florence) while he was still working at verrochio's workshop

we are then treated by what im pretty sure is the fourth time the show has used 'at seventeen' by janis ian, this time sung by a dejected lisanardo (man they really do keep making yeardley sing these days huh) who only wishes to be appreciated and not envied.

"I'll show them all! I'll show them all in a secret diary that no one will decipher for 400 years!"

some of lisanardo's future inventions. who wouldve known

so after barticelli, for some reason (revenge??? or something?? what was his plan here idgi) steals lisanardo's diaries full of blueprints of her inventions and takes them to mr burns who i have to assume is pope alexander VI here, they decide to use her inventions for war.

"With these, we can kill the most evil people in the world!! ....Slightly different Christians."

leo actually did this of his own accord. im surprised this is what they decided to do with lisanardo instead of talking about leo's love of nature and vegetarianism (not a single mention of that in this episode? come on...) then again, trying to do good only to end up indirectly making things worse is a very standard lisa storyline. i guess they didnt want to miss the chance to have evil pope burns (very fitting, especially for that era since they were all about money and controlling the people)

so lisanardo decides to leave for france, unlike the real leonardo who was more or less persuaded by his ultimate fanboy king francis I to move to france.

"Lisanardo, I have many questions. Why are you hitting yourself? A nerd says 'what'? And how is it possible that I am rubber and you are glue? Et cetera, et cetera."

that line may seem a little random, like hes just nelson saying nelson things (and i mean, obviously he is) but the real francis also "had an unquenchable thirst for learning, and Leonardo was the world’s best source of experimental knowledge. He could teach the king about almost any subject there was to know, from how the eye works to why the moon shines." so yeah, he did have many questions and lisanardo, finally being appreciated for her intellect, was happy to answer them all. its very interesting how lisa assigned this role to nelson in her retelling of da vinci’s life :^)

and so she lived the rest of her days in france, nat king cole's 'mona lisa' plays because duh, and they make a da vinci code reference because duh. and the segment ends. and not a single time did they show the actual mona lisa painting. the fuck?

(ngl i was fully expecting bart to say 'leonardo da vinky' for a second here)

so this next segment is about french impressionist painters, most likely the batignolles group, a name adopted by the early representatives of impressionism. its much more vague than the lisanardo segment since no one here is referred to by name (except moe, more on him in a sec) but i dont feel like it really matters in this case. bart is prrrrooobably claude monet but its hard to say, this segment is kind of a mish-mash of a lot of things. also i gotta say i really liked how lisa introduced the story to bart with an 'if you hate the formal study of art' and not 'if you hate art' because thats exactly my headcanon. i LOVE the concept of artist bart and whenever its referenced it just makes perfect sense to me.

anyway the segment opens in 1863 at the école des beaux-arts (back then it was actually known as the académie des beaux-arts), preserver of traditional french art styles. skinner reviews his students’ paintings one by one. praises the plain, unimaginative paintings depicting your typical european countryside landscapes. very run-of-the-mill (haha get it...cuz theres….a windmill) (although the real académie didnt approve of such basic stuff, they wanted artists to draw epic historical and mythological scenes) then he gets to barts painting and he gives him an F- because the painting made him think.

(the paintings in this scene arent real famous paintings as far as i know but they are inspired by real paintings enough to get the point across)

in comes barney dressed as bacchus as a model for the students to sketch, which i just loved:

barney: “You prefer robe open or robe off?” skinner: “Just cover your privates with this walnut shell.” barney: “Whoa!!! So roomy!”

skinner gasps in horror at bart’s sketch, which “looks nothing like him” and bart explains that “it shouldn’t; we’re making the art that we feel because we can’t compete with a camera.” damn, you go bart. take that, realism. draw what you feel!!

(also no, you didnt need to hold still for 17 hours for a daguerreotype. 30 min tops.)

nelson haw-haw of the week: FOIE-gras!

so here they are at the moulin rouge (“enjoy it before baz luhrmann ruins it” hey shut up. i love that movie), which wouldnt be built for another 26 years, but it is the most widely known gathering place for bohemians in the public consciousness so i can understand why they went with the moulin. nelson delivers this anachronistic line:

“This époque keeps getting beller and beller!”

which alludes to la belle époque, the golden age of france usually dated from 1880 to 1914. made me snort so ill let that slide

and heres moe! as henri de toulouse-lautrec, who was actually born a year after the year this segment is set in. yo moe szyslak he was just 1

toulouse-moetrec introduces himself as the chronicler of the demimonde (not an actual job). an iconic figure associated with the moulin rouge (largely due to his affinity for alcohol and prostitutes), toulouse-lautrec was also a painter, having illustrated a series of posters for the moulin himself. he simply had to be in this segment, anachronisms be damned, just because they decided to include the moulin. cant have one without the other.

and yes he did have a walking cane where he kept his liquor.

i love how everyone drinks absinthe in this place. theyre bohemians what else would they drink

toulouse-moetrec points out that barts paintings are the greatest thing hes ever seen (and hes seen like five things!) and that hes a genius. milhouse realizes that they should stop doing what the teacher says and use their own minds to instead...start doing what bart says lmao. to the easels!

next we have skinner hyping up chalmers about the art his students made for the salon de paris, an art exhibition that the emperor of france will attend. he assures him that none of these paintings will encourage debate, provoke thought or be out of place at a dentist’s office. when they unveil the art, theyre both SHOCKED at how scandalous the paintings actually are.

this reaction was kind of accurate. impressionism was severely rejected at the salon de paris, due to paintings not looking finished enough to them, they thought they were ugly and vulgar for depicting nudity in a contemporary setting (historical and mythological nudity was fine). these impressionist paintings were sent to the salon de refusés, which is. yeah. the place where they sent the rejects. the salon de refusés does not make an appearance but this scene makes a reference to it when the artists get expelled from the royal salon. also:

“What about our student loans?” “Oh they’ll be refunded. We are not barbarians, I mean, come on.”

(god if only)

so the painters are down because they want the emperor to actually see their paintings. toulouse-moetrec pipes in once again with an idea.

“There is one thing the emperor loves more than anything.” “France?” “No, he hates France.”

apparently the emperor really loves cheese, which makes sense since its napoleon III (who loved cheese) and homer (who loves cheese.) so the painters roll into the salon inside a giant wheel of cheese (obviously.) as lenny said, “Eh, you know French cheese. Very runny.” napoleon III chases after the wheel into a room, where the wheel falls apart after getting chomped on by the emperor. now that they got his attention, the painters proudly show the emperor their impressionist art, which he couldnt be more indifferent about because he just wants to eat his cheese dammit, and he awards them with the royal medallion just to kind of get them out of his way. skinner immediately starts kissing ass (as he does) until marge’s like ‘hey wait a minute. you expelled these students from the royal salon’ and an executioner immediately starts ominously measuring skinners neck.

“Uh, sir...is your tongue sticking out because you’re dead or because you’re mad at me?”

and thats the end of that lmao (gore in this episode, gore in the last episode, and next week we’re getting gore too cuz its THOH, what the hell is goin on)

we get a short intermission with maggie, who wants a story for her too! lisa tells her that renaissance artists loved to put babies in their paintings, especially baby angels.

here she is showing her The Triumph Of Galatea by raphael:

King David Playing The Harp by peter paul reubens:

and a very simplified version of pretty much any depiction of hell by hyeronimus bosch lmao:

not much else to say about this one, really. but i really liked that sky!

the last segment is about frida kahlo and diego rivera. or as bart puts it ‘the one about a fat guy whos wife is too good for him.’ i was REALLY looking forward to this one because i love frida and i thought itd be a cool opportunity for animators to go bonkers and do really cool shit with her art as inspiration…..but the segment is not about frida, its about diego and his selling out to capitalism. and its also yet another story with homer and marge drama. no funky cool animation here. sigh i guess i’ll take it

the story begins in 1929 at la casa azul, frida’s home (now museum dedicated to her life and work.) frida and diego are getting married. this courtyard definitely did not look this way yet back in 1929. also theres something very cringy yet funny about lovejoy saying spanish words the way he does, i honestly cant decide how i feel about that one

the writers know theyre being cringy with their gringoness so they go along with it.

moe: “Spanish for ‘best wishes’!” mel: “Spanish for ‘congratulations’!” bumblebee man: “Spanish for ‘muy bueno’!”

OH YEAH BUMBLEBEE MAN this is his new voice actor, eric lopez! hes not mexican but its still great to finally have a latino actor voicing a latino character and hes very excited to be part of the show so i hope to hear more of him!! im rooting for him

el barto/zorro makes an appearance which i am very confused about. he has jack shit to do with frida and diego and mexico in the 20s-30s. el zorro was set in the spanish california of the early 19th century. their use of the original theme song makes me think they just wanted to flex their disney privileges tbh

lets not talk about that that whole scene was bad

anyway diego announces he and frida are going to new york, without even asking her first. frida is obviously pissed.

“Don’t worry, as a woman, you’ll be treated with much more respect in America.”

so in new york, diego is having a bit of a business meeting with mr burns as one of the members of the rockefellers, who is commissioning him to draw a mural for the rockefeller center. its kinda funny how he refers to him and frida as socialists even though they were very much communists lmao its okay you can say it. ok so far, but then frida says ‘yes, we hate the capitalists! right now, a young socialist is being born who will take them down! mr. bernie sanders. i hope hes quick about it’ and that was a simple enough joke and couldve been left at that but then its immediately followed by this weird as fuck family guy-esque cutaway gag to bernie as a baby:

“Getting a cootie shot should not cost your lunch money. And if you don’t listen to me, listen to the Bernie Babies! What? Everybody’s got goons.” *larger babies start beating up this other baby* “I disavow that, and welcome it.”

this confused me so much that i had to ask one of my american friends to help me understand, but even she was like ‘uhhh yeah thats a weird joke,’ especially now that hes been out of the race for months (then again these episodes take almost a year to produce. i guess they couldnt be bothered to replace it with something more relevant.) whatever that was weird and confusing and unfunny moving on

frida is pretty irked that diego is going through with this deal. after all, it goes against everything they believe in. im not sure how the real frida felt about diego doing the mural, but she did feel a bit of rage during her visit to the united states, especially the obvious disparity between rich and poor. she hated having to interact with capitalists and found americans very boring. in this segment, frida seems to be acting more like the american communist party, which diego got kicked out of for accepting commissions from wealthy patrons. in any case, frida is pretty upset about this whole thing.

and finally we get the first and only kind of surreal frida moment. kinda. maybe. its more cartoonish than anything but im desperate ok

interesting how they felt like they had to add a “don’t smoke” in big letters after showing patty and selma flying away on their giant cigarettes. i wonder if this is something theyre making them do now? i remember hearing something about them toning down patty and selma’s smoking

diego comes home to frida, drunk as hell, followed by the marx brothers. i cant believe they didnt make a marxism joke come on it was RIGHT THERE. THE MARX BROTHERS. KARL MARX. COME ON

frida paints her feelings.

this makes diego realize that frida is a genius and he is not half the artist she is. he proclaims he will now show his awe of her by sleeping with other women, starting “an hour ago.” to which frida replies, “and i will start sleeping with other women, starting two hours ago.” yes this was pretty much their relationship. though im just wondering how the hell did diego not know frida was this kind of artist until now? i know homers an idiot but jeez. art was how frida and diego met, diego knew from the get-go that frida was an incredible artist. i guess the fame got to his head or something. again, homer just being stupid.

“well enough already, while the art is still deco, okay?”

its time for the mural diego painted, Man At The Crossroads, to be unveiled:

rockefeller examines it. good and great so far, and then...uh oh

“Who’s that fellow…? With the beard, and the bolshevik smile…” “That’s the founder of Soviet Russia, Lenin!”

“B-b-but he’s a communist!” “Oh he just attended a couple of meetings.”

rockefeller will not have this communist in the temple to capitalism that is the rockefeller center, so he orders diego to paint over it. diego stands his ground and refuses. despite rockefeller’s threats, diego says that theres only one person he wants to be proud of him no matter what and in true homer & marge fashion, frida is touched by this. they happily leave the rockefeller center.

now, the real story of Man At The Crossroads and the rockefeller center was actually not that different. as soon as the rockefellers found out diego had snuck in a portrait of lenin into the mural, they ordered him to paint over it, to which he refused. diego even offered to include abraham lincoln and even american abolitionists in the mural as a compromise, but the rockefellers simply did not want any references to communism whatsoever. they did not complain about the hammer and sickle, though. yes, they did know diego was a communist and hired him anyway. what did they expect? lmao. diego said:

"Rather than mutilate the conception [of the mural], I shall prefer the physical destruction of the conception in its entirety, but preserving, at least, its integrity."

so they decided to destroy the mural before it was even finished and they never talked to each other again.

diego then repainted the mural at the palacio de bellas artes back in mexico, this time known as Man, Controller of the Universe. this new version included even more communist leaders and a depiction of john d. rockefeller jr. drinking at a nightclub, right underneath a depiction of syphilis bacteria. cue nelson haw-haw:

this was the version they used in the episode also, since the original was, well, never finished and also destroyed. only a black and white photograph of it exists, taken by diego before it was destroyed so he could remake it.

right so, homer!diego then pulls a Barthood and finishes the episode with a large mural summarizing the entire episode. he says some rick and morty thing i didnt get because i dont watch the show idk idc

the end

ALRIGHT NOW ITS TIME FOR THE STORY OF VINCENT VAN MOE

#if you read all of this bless you #the imageless gdocs version of this is 8 pages long #hope you...enjoy?!?! these art history fun facts?!?!#dont let me do something like this again but also let me know if i should do something like this again #i was really only motivated to do this because im already passionate about the subject so idk if i could do it otherwise #anyway. this took me all day yesterday because the power kept going out #but im finally done #bye

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deldivino · 4 years

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( TAYLOR ZAKHAR PEREZ , CIS MALE, HE / HIM ╱ well, if it isn’t ARES, who has decided to grace us with HIS presence. I heard the GOD OF WAR has been living amongst the humans for 431 YEARS, and hasn’t aged a day, funny right ? they can be TENACIOUS & UNYIELDING, you should watch out because they are also known to be ARROGANT & CARELESS. HE harnesses the power of ANGER MANIPULATION, and have chosen the path of being AGAINST the humans.

heyo heyo , isla here with a super overdue intro shbjsh bear with me cause this is gonna be a lil bit messy !! feel free to shoot me a message here or on discord @la llorona#5226 for any plotting related stuff !! i promise im gonna work on getting through any messages i have , i swear im not ignoring any1 im just trying rlly hard to get through my intros before i do any plotting !! let’s gooo !!

◜ 𝐀𝐂𝐓 𝐎𝐍𝐄 ╱ study

name: elias arrebol

nicknames: ares, god of war , stupid ass

age: immortal tbh

abilities: anger manipulation

alliance: against the humans

pronouns: he / him

orientation: pansexual

◜ 𝐀𝐂𝐓 𝐓𝐖𝐎 ╱ mythos

ares within greek myth is known infamously as the god of war. born of zeus and hera , he took his place among the 12 olympians , often at odds with his siblings and fellow gods ; he certainly didn’t make it easy for them to get along , with his volatile nature and often ruthless actions distancing them . always intent on starting wars , but never one to follow through with his allegiances, he had a tendency of seeking triumph over loyalty , making his motives quite unpredictable at times, but evidently always managed to be reigned in by the other gods.

◜ 𝐀𝐂𝐓 𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐄 ╱ mortal history

the fall of the gods was one ares hardly mourned , he found the attention of mortals to be a fleeting thing , and as it was in his nature , he only sought after their thirst for war . he could very well compel it , he was the god of war after all , but as he learned in troy , he could not fight among them as a god , not without the interference of the other gods. so when the statues fell and the mortals forgot that the gods had once walked among them , ares descended and placed himself as a noble within the tudor dynasty . what better place for war then among greedy kings who thought themselves gods ? he traveled between continents , always observing and suggesting but never directly mingling in the lives of mortal ; he’d found a loophole .

at first he liked the mortals , he found them fascinating in a way. fascination , however , is no companion to loyalty , so be as it may , he certainly felt neither inclined to protect them nor annihilate them . but slowly , the tides of time showed him how cowardly they could be , how they fought their wars with such cowardice , how they used mechanisms to root out the purpose of wars ; they let their machines fight their wars . he wasn’t angry , wasn’t much surprised by the way they hid behind their guns , their chemicals , their senseless violence ; he was simply bored of them . he sided among the other gods who opposed the mortals , rather enticed by the thought of an all consuming war between gods instead of the other way around .

◜ 𝐀𝐂𝐓 𝐅𝐎𝐔𝐑 ╱ present day

ares’s ventures have always been quite extravagant , more attracted to the likes of royalty and wealth . during the 1910′s he found himself taking on the form of a zapista fighting in the mexican revolution , and even long after the war died out , he kept his youthful appearance . he moved to the us during the height of the prohibition era and the violence that pervaded much of new york during that decade . he grew fond of new york over time , surprisingly the towering buildings reminded him of the glory of the greeks and the monuments that they used to erect for him .

he’s taken to the mortal name elias arrabol and hasn’t much sought an occupation or place among the mortals . sure, he has amassed significant wealth throughout the years , wealth which is relatively meaningless to him , but quite crucial in the world of mortals . his life is quite private , living namely among the wealthiest of new york , but never one to partake in the social aspect his title holds . ares could care less where the other gods have ventured of to do , he’s only really cared about the whereabouts of his twin sons phobos and deimos , which , as surprising at it might seem , he does actually care very much about . he does revert back to old habits now and then , finding it so easy to manipulate mortals like puppets , and with anger brimming at his fingertips , he’s able to cause chaos with ease .

◜ 𝐀𝐂𝐓 𝐅𝐈𝐕𝐄 ╱ connections

not a connection but also relevant kinda ,, i am asking v nicely for sum1 to bring ares his son and phobos his twin brother, deimos !! pleathe i will give you 100 little kithes

lovers : yeah ares is a whore sometimes so WHAT !! can b mortal , can b gods from any pantheon rlly , idc !!

rivals : get wrekt !! yeah so ares has issues with getting along with like , everyone so please if your muse wants sum1 to punch in the face , ares is the god for the job !! doesnt havent to rlly be war related it can just be like heyo you're a dick i fucking hate u !!

yeah no my two brain cells have given out so just any plots please and thank you !!

#nways show me support #k well expect circe's intro post next year HSBJH

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jonghours · 4 years

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im bored can you roast ateez?

I feel like I just did in that other ask but akjshdsafj only if you don’t get mad

— we all talk about Seonghwa and his tongue and blah blah blah but Hongjoong is the one that should keep it inside his mouth like Seonghwa got a reason because that tongue is way too big to fit in his mouth he needs to let it out from time to time but what excuse does Hongjoong have? none! also what the fuck was that WONDERLAND era stage presence?? and those selfies in bed the last couple months?? who were you trying to thirst-trap??? TELL US

— Seonghwa honey I’ve had enough of you pretending you are not playing the sad whore role lately. he knows what he’s doing but he keeps going “I’m not really sexy” like you just don’t act like that if you don’t know what you are doing. you got Wooyoung clinging on you for a reason and that is because your whore energy is superior lately and he wants to learn. own it king everyone is thriving and your worked for it you got the right to show off. also the type to click on “hot milfs in your area” ads

— ATINY as a whole fanbase ignore Yunho so much that the only way for him to get everyone’s attention is to shake is ass so he keeps on doing it. this isn’t even a Yunho drag because he’s on his right to be slutty this is a drag to ATINY to stop ignoring him except when he shakes his nonexistent ass.

— I don’t even have anything bad to say about Yeosang except pay!!!some!!fucking!!!attention!!! stop getting lost on hotel lobbies and dissociating 24/7 like I get it!!!! and because I get it I’m telling you you need to stop!!!! I bet he’s only thinking about Naruto in there!!

— there’s nothing to drag San for. except there is. like I get that the INCEPTION choreo is like “kinda grab your crotch” but while everyone is like subtly touching their pants this boy is out there like the rent is due tomorrow. the facial expressions aren’t helping. the dick joke solidified my belief that this boy wants people to know he has one because you keep calling him an uwu baby and he has had enough. we know you do. is time to stop.

— I’m not going to drag Mingi because he gets dragged on the daily by his own “fans” and for what?? nothing!! sweetest smartest boy in the world and you all need to stop calling him an idiot!!!

— Wooyoung is the type that would introduce himself as a whore on tinder. I have so much respect for this boy’s pride on how hot he is but the fuckboy e-boy energy is too high. also he’s a sagittarius so what more do you need. an overdamatic bitch that started drama on V live!! on CHRISTMAS!!! only to be dragged to HELL and back!! also EDEN is not your dad he’s not going to text you back stop this right now it’s embarrassing!!

— Jongho my precious apple pie I know you are a libra man and I swear I’ve put up with it because I love you but you are not free from this. I won’t slander you because I love all the things I would drag you for and that embarrassment would be on me. I love you.

#is this enough?#asjdhbkasd #no one get mad kasdk #anon

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baekhvuns · 2 years

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hi bEstayy *wiggle eyebrows sexily*

GUESS WHOS BACK?? yeth its this bihhh 🤪 ive been gone for a while to binge-watch your bollywood recs and LORD I NEVER WATCH ANYTHING THESE GEWDDD B4 tyty i def owe u a big ass srk human replica for this 😭🤧 my driving class is back again on this saturday so i have a plenty amount of time to go thru ur kdramas recs this timeeee wheeee

also here’s some tea 🍵🍵 my irl bestie (he’s a guy) wanted to end our 10 fkin years of friendship just bcs his gf hates that he’s close to me 🤠 well he didnt do anything yet about it but he’s dropping hints here and there everytime we hang outtt soooo haha and everyone seems to make it out like im the ViLLaiNn of the whole situation bc u know the gf is always in the right eventho i didnt do anything like girly just take ur man and go💀 guess im in my main character era *flips hair* i mean i have ✨choi san✨ and ✨park seonghwa✨ in my life and u think i would thirst over him? make it make sense.

btw btw i’ve read every single ask thats fighting over bodyguard!hwa and boxer!hwa so ive decided that im officially team boxer!hwa !!🤭 i mean dark academia?! a toughie-turned-softie for miss y/n?! all the knuckles bruises gettin taken care by yours truly?! imagine seonghwa almost losing in a boxing tournament but then there’s his lil lover y/n in the audience seat shouting for his name and he got all worked up and pssh pssh kachow *punching noise* HE WON! ok maybe thats too wild but thank you for coming to my ted talk, here’s some sweet luvin for ya miss baekhvuns ❤️🧡💚💙💜🖤🤍🤎❤️‍🔥❤️‍🩹❣️💕💞💓💗💖💘💝💟

- 🤑

HIHII

hi bEstayy *wiggle eyebrows sexily*

LMFAOOOO HI BEST FRIEND 😭😭😭

omg omg omg WHICH ONE WAS UR FAVOURITE 😭😭😭🤚🏼 THANK USM FOR WATCHING THEM THEYRE TRULY EXQUISITE FHHDFH STOP IT FJWKFHEK IF U GET ME A SRK REPLICA ID LITERALLY PASS OUT FBWNDBWK PLS JCBSNDB HOW FUN PLS DONT CRASH FBWNDBDN maybe u should watch crash landing on u for the driving license <3

oHO he what????? that’s, that’s truly a very classic tale 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 does she mayhaps have a reason for all of this? how does no one else see it?????? she may have views about you that make her hate u and honestly BFNWBDKW it never ends well 😭😭😭 u can either ignore her or tell her upfront abt the entire thing (and if she doesn’t wanna listen, i think u got the answer, bc well u tried to telll ur part nicely) 😭😭 to avoid any malice bc it seems like it’ll cost u ur friendship 😭😭😭 BTBWJHDLW NO FR SEONGHWA AND SAN 😩😩😭🤲🏼 wHY MEN WHEN SEONGHWA ???? “GIRLY TAKE UR MAN” BFMWBDKWBDKW YES GIRLIE PLS DO but that also means their relationship can be build on insecurity if she seems to be jealous of those hanging out with him!!!

BFWMFJWKDKW TEAM BOXER U SAY 👁👄👁🔫 what about mr bodyguard who only says “yes ma’am.” men who keep quiet >>> BDNWBDNW he’s a mix of boxer too 😭😭😭 but he guards the reader ☺️☺️

BUT YES BOXER 😩😩 DARK ACADEMIA ITS LIKE CLIMBING THE SCHOOL WALLS TO SEE EACH OTHER man he’s rly possessive- YES YES EVERYTHING TO URS YES 100%

imagine seonghwa almost losing in a boxing tournament but then there’s his lil lover y/n in the audience seat shouting for his name and he got all worked up and pssh pssh kachow *punching noise* HE WON! ok maybe thats too wild but thank you for coming to my ted talk, here’s some sweet luvin for ya miss baekhvuns ❤️🧡💚💙💜🖤🤍🤎❤️‍🔥❤️‍🩹❣️💕💞💓💗💖💘💝💟

STOPPPPPPPPPPP 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 KACHOW HE WON 😭😭😭😭 no bc i will make it very dramatic and cliche bc i live for it omg i love this tysm best friend BFNWBDJW 😭😭💓✨💓✨💓✨ THANK U 😭😭

#✉️ : ask #🤑 anon

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