#ikemen vampire incorrect quotes

[daisiesandshakes]

Comte, smiling cheerful: I got Netflix for you like you asked!

MC: Thank you so much Comte! I’ve been using Sebastian's account for months, so this will be awesome.

Comte: Wait- what do you mean .. account?

MC: His Netflix account.

Comte:

MC: Like.. his profile? I wanted an account of my own, they’re about $8.

Comte:

Comte: Ooooh… You wanted .. an account on the service..

MC: Yes! What did you think- wait.. what did you buy??

Comte:

Comte: .. Netflix.

[clavissionary-position]

Theo: *slaps briefcase full of cash on the table*

Theo: I'm investing in your future

Shakespeare: As...?

Theo: As someone who will maintain a 5-city distance from Vincent at all times

Shakespeare: And if I take your money without doing as you say?

Theo: The briefcase will explode

Shakespeare: I'd simply take all the cash out first

Theo: Hey! Don't open it until I leave—

Shakespeare: *opens briefcase*

Briefcase: *50 cats jump out*

Theo: ...!

(at the mansion)

Isaac: And here's your briefcase full of cats

Leonardo: *opens briefcase*

Mansion: *explodes*

[iglitterinbaroque]

*all the boys enter Comte's office* Theo: Comte, we have 3 votes on exorcism, 5 on heavy medication, 1 possible on murder, rest abstained, your call. Comte: What?! Mozart: MC has… a condition. Jean: She's possesed by evil spirits. Theo: She's nuts. Sebastian: She's on her period, for god's sake. Comte: Ah, yes, I heard crying, she must be in great pain. Napoleon: That was Isaac. She told him it's his fault that grocery bags are so heavy, because he "just had to invent gravity”. Arthur: You know what actually could help releasing the stress? Everyone: NO!!! Comte: *looking at Mozart* Some music could help with the pain. Mozart: Yes, we thougth that and, according to MC, I reached the peak of my composing skills by making my music so dull that it makes her nauseous and so irritating that the pain is worse at the same time. Leonardo: Oh, come on… It can't be that bad… *Leonardo walks out* *5 minutes later* MC: I PREFER MICHELANGELO ANYWAY! *Leonardo comes back* Leonardo: La donna e pazza.

[leonscape]

Dazai: Do you ever notice how when French people speak, they sound mad?

Isaac: No? French is a romance language. It sounds romantic!

Arthur: Maybe they sound mad because they’re madly in love

Napoleon, Jean, and Comte: ???

[unknwnrm]

Mozart: You're really campaigning for bitch of the year, huh?

Faust: As defending champion, are you nervous?

[nobunagas-chatelaine]

Good god

Jean : *standing on a balcony and sneezes* Napoleon : *standing on the roof* Bless you. Jean : God?!

[ikemensworld]

Dazai: A mosquito tried to bite me and I slapped it and killed it.

Dazai: And I started thinking.

Dazai: Like it was just trying to get food.

Dazai: What if I went to the fridge and it just slammed the door shut and snapped my neck.

Dazai: How would I feel?

MC: Are you okay?

[vanadeyeira]

Sebastien is a millennial and you can not convince me otherwise.

[abelscherie]

Theo: People think I‘m crazy when I talk to dogs.

Theo: Like, what am I supposed to do?

Theo: Ignore them, when they asking me a question?!

[daisiesandshakes]

Comte: It’s hard being the responsible one of this household but I appreciate every single person he-

Leonardo: Umm… Comte… Dazai tried to make ramen in the coffee pot and now it’s on fire.

Theo, audibly from the kitchen: CALL 911 ALREADY I AM FUCKING DYING HERE!

Mozart: I TOLD YOU IT WAS A STUPID IDEA!

Vincent: IT WAS A PLEASURE MEETING YOU ALL

Arthur: YOU SHOULD HAVE PUT THE RAMEN IN FIRST THEN - HOLY SHIT IT'S GOING TO EXPLODE!

Napoleon: JEAN NO! DON'T THROW YOUR SWORD AT IT!

Comte:

[clavissionary-position]

Jean: *avoiding stepping on cracks in the sidewalk*

Mozart: What are you doing

Jean: Avoiding the buttcracks on the pavement

Mozart:

Jean: Dazai has informed me that stepping on them will guarantee that ma mère will break her back

Mozart: Jean your mother has been dead for centuries

Jean: You... are not wrong

Mozart: And she was awful to you

Jean: She was?

Mozart: Did you not read your route?

Jean: Barring the fact that I can't read, how does one read a path? Are you referring to palm-reading? *stares seriously at his palm*

Mozart: No, Jean. Your story in the Ikemen Vampire dating simulation

Jean:

--- Yanderepuck's Jean-panic-digging-graves hc made me think he'd freak out about this kinda thing too, as would probably any normal human being

[iglitterinbaroque]

MC: I have ADHD. Arthur: What's that? MC: Disorder. Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. Vincent: And how does it affect your everyday life? MC: Well, it's hard for me to focus, but when I'm very interested in something I can't stop working on it, neglecting basic needs like hunger or sleep. But I tend to change my interests, so it ends up with lots of unfinished projects and surface-level knowledge in many fields. And I always loose my stuff, because I don't remember where I put them. Oh, and I don't like things my brain consider as boring, the harder the task, the bigger chance that I'll actually do it. Everyone: *looks at Leonardo* Leonardo: …

Leonardo: Cara mia, you’re not sick, you're Italian!

[leonscape]

Comte: So what do you guys wanna be for halloween?

Arthur: Happy.

Dazai: Mentally stable.

Shakespeare: Appreciated.

Comte: A-are you guys okay?!

[unknwnrm]

Arthur: Do you mind if we slightly mention that you are single?

Isaac: Do not do that.

Dazai: You won't even notice!

Mitsuki, entering: You guys wanted to see me?

Arthur: Newt's single.

[lordhelpme0-0]

Ikemen Vampire incorrect quote #4:

Comte: *holding William*

Leonardo: *coming to hold William*

Baby William: *cries*

Moments later…

Leonardo: *comes back and holds baby William*

Baby William: *cries harder*

Moments later later

Leonardo: *comes in with Puck*

Baby William: *giggles and walks over*

Leonardo:

Leonardo: Your fake. Your Fake!

Vlad: *laughing as he records this*

Later later later…

Leonardo: *holding a happy Baby William*

Vlad: he likes the Da Vinci now. :)

Comte: you like Leonardo now~ *cooing*

William: :D

[nobunagas-chatelaine]

Language

Vlad : Oh, fiddlesticks. Comte : Look, I understand this is a tense situation, but let's watch the fucking language.