#ikkaku falls asleep fast reading

[madaramee]

be a amateur definitely skilled poet

be looking for inspiration

be falling asleep reading tbh

[bby-deerling]

IM NEW HERE I LOVE YOUR WRITINGS, AND CONGRATULATIONS FOR 250 FOLLOWERS!!!🪅🪅 Can I request "remember the time" with law!!?$3(+$+$! thank yew!!🐑

thank "ewe" for the request (you are now sheep anon to me)!!! i also combined that other request you sent me about a reader who is clingy while drunk, if that's okay!

this is also part of my lil' counting coins verse, but this can be read standalone as well! [1] [2] [3] (2 and 3 are nsfw, so mdni with those ones!)

law + remember the time (sfw, gn!reader)

wc: 1.0k masterlist

On his way to Dressrosa, Law is becoming increasingly irritated, grumpy, and restless.  Secretly, he’s relieved that you don’t have to see him like this, on edge and touchy, constantly torn between running through his plans in his head and being caught up in painful memories. He sighs to himself at the thought of you, knowing you would be able to handle his moodiness effortlessly; however, as much as he craved your presence, having you here was too much of a risk to even consider.  Though Law had left you behind with the rest of his crew, that didn’t necessarily mean that you had no role to play in his current plans—in truth, it was quite the opposite.

You were there, albeit only in spirit, to ground him.  Memories of simpler times are kept constantly swirling on the backburner in his mind, keeping him sane and giving him something to hold onto when the emotional weight begins to grow too heavy.

When he’s awake late at night, despite knowing he needs rest, as guilt and grief eat him alive, he latches onto the pink flush that dusted your cheeks during the first time he meets you, the countless number of nights the two of you ended up falling asleep on his office couch together after a long night of work, or the thrill at the beginning of your relationship as you both tried to keep things under wraps for as long as possible.  However, the memory of your seemingly well-hidden relationship coming to light is the one he ends up reaching for as a comfort tonight.

The others were bound to find out at some point—secrets were impossible to keep for too long when trapped between the walls of a submarine, after all—but he was hoping to keep the rest of the crew in the dark for longer than a few short months.  You had been on the same page, not wanting to be the target of teasing jokes from Shachi and Penguin until the heat death of the universe, but Ikkaku had gotten you a bit too tipsy one night, clouding your senses and decision-making.  Unceremoniously, you ended up plopping down next to him in the booth he was sitting at, draping your legs over his lap and nuzzling your tired face into his side.

“Knock it off.  We’re in public.” he scolded quietly, bristling at your touch.

“Law, ‘m so tired… Can you take me to bed?” you slurred, face still buried in his shirt.

“You’re wasted.” he observed, directing his words more so to Shachi and Penguin sitting across from him, trying to salvage the situation in any way possible.  This only sends them both into a laughing fit, making Law let out a deep sigh.

“Pay up!  I knew they’d crack this week!  Bepo owes me too!” Shachi exclaimed with a big grin, holding his hand out to Penguin as he calls the mink over.

“No way!” Penguin protested, “It doesn’t count unless they kiss!”  Bepo made his way over to the booth, nearly knocking over Shachi’s drink, leading him to profusely apologize.

“Shachi’s saying we lost the bet, tell him—”

“The bet was when they would slip up in front of us, not when they’d kiss!”

“But we made the bet when Bepo saw them making out in the hallway!”

Law pulled his hat over his eyes and put his head in his hands in embarrassment; you were still clinging to him, and by the familiar, slow patterns of your breathing, you were fast asleep.

“Sorry Captain…” Bepo apologized, tears forming in the corners of his eyes.  Law let out another sigh, unable to resist the urge to forgive Bepo when he gives him those adorable pleading eyes.

“It’s alright, Bepo.” he said, absolving his navigator of any guilt; mentally, he was still running through all of your sneaky trysts on the Polar Tang, trying to figure out when you two could have possibly gotten caught.

“Don’t get too bent out of shape.  We knew before that, Captain.” Penguin said, as if he was reading his mind.  “You started sitting next to them at dinner.”

“And Ikkaku says they haven’t slept in their bed in months.”  Shachi added.

“Plus, you’re always hovering over them in the lab.”

“You’re always with them on island trips!  And you bought them that little snow leopard plush.”

“Oh—Shachi, don’t forget the coin thing they do!”

“Especially the coin thing!”

Law flicked up the brim of his hat and shot them a glare.  “I get it.” he grumbled, wrapping an arm around your sleeping form, seeing no point in keeping up the façade any longer.

“Aww—” they cooed, much to Law’s chagrin; now that the two of you had been found out, he could only hope that the novelty of teasing him would wear off after a while.

“I think you’re a very cute couple, Captain!” Bepo exclaimed with a smile, eyes sparkling.  Law rolled his eyes.

“Sorry Captain—”

“Don’t apologize.” he said, shifting his weight to pull you into his arms and pick you up bridal style.  “Besides, I’ve got to get them to bed.”

Law didn’t stick around to hear the uproar he caused, swiftly making his way out of the bar and leaving them to argue about who really won the bet they had made at his expense.

“You’re in trouble, I hope you know that.” he said when you stir in his arms on the way back to the Polar Tang and gaze up at him, eyes still glazed over.

“They already knew.  Ikkaku told me tonight.  I thought we were being discreet.” you mumbled, letting your eyes drift closed again. 

He pressed a kiss to your forehead, grateful for the privacy the night sky cast over the two of you.  “So did I.” he said, lips curling into a smile.

Staring up at the stars, laying on his back on the deck of the Sunny, he feels the phantom sensation of his lips on your forehead; the touch from years ago feels fresh, as if you were still curled up in his arms.  He lets out a long exhale, finally feeling deserving of some sleep—after all, he needed to be on top of things mentally so he could make it back to you and the others as soon as possible.

He pictures your smiling face once more before a cloud of darkness swallows him whole, finally allowing him to rest.

[mooshs-crack-headcanons]

Hello! 😍 I'm glad you started your writing journey, wishing you all the luck! May I request Law and Zoro with a girlfriend who adopted a pet parrot? The bird is a loud little hyperactive shit and needs to be under control 24/7 unless you want a disaster. And one day she has to leave the ship till evening so the boys are left with the feather problem for a whole day 😉 Thank you so much! 🥰

REQUEST FROM BAS LET'S GO!!!!

Zoro

Luffy was the reason the bird first got on ship in the first place. 

The crew had made a stop on a summer island so various supplies could be restocked.

Sanji went to go get food supplies, Nami went with Robin shopping, Usopp went to go help Chopper get medical supplies, Brook and Franky went to go see a street performance, you went with Zoro to a bar to make sure he didn't get lost, Jimbe stayed behind to meditate and watch the Sunny, and Luffy went off on his own to see what adventure (trouble) he could get himself into.

In the while you and the other Strawhats were having your respective fun, Luffy wandered into the island's jungle. With his old strawhat tied around his neck and slumped on his back he scanned the jungle around him. 

Searching for any signs of adventure (or meat) he eventually came upon a giant nest on a rock. 

Scratching his head, he sprung onto it and peeked at what was inside.

A small parrot.

Tilting his head, Luffy then scanned the area for any signs of the bird's family. Not a single feather. 

He eventually came to the conclusion that the poor thing had been abandoned, so he hoped inside the nest and crouched down over the bird.

"Hey there little-" 

The bird screeched at him.

"-little feathery."

This time it screeched louder.

Luffy's face scrunched up as he took notice of the bird's injured wing, the blue feathered limb frantically flapped around aimlessly. Luffy frowned.

"Your family left because you're injured."

Somehow the bird seemed to understand, letting out an affirmative squawk. 

In a matter of seconds, a toothy grin emerged of Luffy's face.

"Don't worry! We have a doctor on our ship!" 

The bird tilted it's head with a confused squawk.

And that's how it ended up in Chopper's care.

The parrot, Chopper confirming him male and Luffy being correct about his family abandoning him due to his now permanent ability to fly, his bone structure had become so fractured in a fight he was in trying to defend his family's nest took that away from him, he would never fly again.

So with the bird's incapacity to survive on his own in the wild, Luffy declared him a part of the crew.

Everyone groaned, but didn't object to the captain's orders.

So Squawky, (as Luffy named him) became the most entitled member of the crew. 

His loud screeches kept the crew awake for hours at night, his demands for food drove Sanji to fantasize about making a chicken out of him, he found a way to get into Nami's treasure room and make off with her berries (which he then made nest out of), he would crawl up Brook's skeleton body and eventually made settle in his afro squawking along with the musician's music, and most notably: his love for you, and absolute hatred for Zoro. 

Some crew members like Luffy, Robin, Chopper, Jimbe and Franky got along with Squawky very well, chilling with him time to time. 

Usopp was scared of the damn thing. 

But you and Squawky had the most bounding relationship.

You'd set on deck reading a book while Squawky circled up on your lap while you petted him with one hand. (He was like a cat)

Every morning he'd bring you gifts (stolen items of Nami's treasure) 

When he starts to screech late in the night the only way he will shut up is for you to come over and pet him, it's the only way they'd get sleep period.

He was your baby. 

But Zoro however…

Squawky hated your boyfriend. 

The bird would turn into the likes of a guard dog every time the swordsmans tried to come near you. 

Every time Zoro would come into a room he'd poof up and the swordsman sworn he would start hissing.

"That's no damn bird! It's a fucking cat!"

It'd take some time and encouragement from you for Squawky to start tolerating your boyfriend's presence. (It didn't stop the chilling death glares though)

You love Squawky, and you also love Zoro. And you'd do anything for them to get along.

One day, about two months after Squawky's recruitment into the Strawhats, the crew stopped onto a spring island.

With Jimbe on Sunny duty last time, it was Zoro's turn this trip. 

You slung your bag over your shoulders giving Squawky a scratch under his beak, earning you a soft coo from him.

Zoro frowned with his arms crossed as you watched you two from the doorway. You turned and gave him a loving smile before walking up to him and giving him a peck on the lips.

"It'll only be until sun fall," You looked back to Squawky before alternating looks between the two of them as you spoke. "You two can put up with each other until then." 

The moment the crew left the ship Zoro slumped down against the post of the mast. 

He wasn't dealing with that damn hyperactive little shit parrot, he'd rather nap it off.

It wasn't long before his nap was interrupted by a strange noise.

Zoro opened his one good eye and looked around for the source of the dragging noise.

His hands immediately went for his swords as he hopped up to his feet, scanning the deck for signs of the intruder.

No. Not an intruder.

A nuisance. 

Squawky was currently limping with a sack of coins in his beak, he immediately stopped once he found he was spotted by the green threat.

Then this began the great coin chase.

Zoro chased Squawky all over the Sunny. Squawky frantically limping and being weighed down by the bag of coins. 

It lasted for hours somehow.

No matter how fast Zoro ran, the parrot somehow was limping faster.

It finally ended when Squawky collapsed and Zoro halted where he stood. He watches as the bird's small body heaved with every breath he took.

The swordsman felt a pang of guilt.

This was his girlfriend's bird afterall… 

Zoro then sighed as he marched over and stood over the blue bird. Squawky stared up at him with a glare, which Zoro returned, only to fall back in exhaustion. Zoro then picked up the bird and walked back over to the mast, setting down his swords before sitting down himself, gentilly placing the bird in his lap. 

Squawky squawked in weak retaliation.

"Shut up, (Name) wouldn't want to see you like this."

It didn't take them both long to relax then eventually fall asleep together.

When the crew came back everyone had to stifle their laughter.

But you were just happy that both of your boy's managed to bond together.

Law

Law's eye twitched the first moment you and Bepo brought the thing in.

"Where'd you even find it?"

"Bepo did! He found her at the market when we went on a supply run!" 

"You were supposed to go after canned goods and pain killers."

"But captain! Isn't she cute?!"

He never understood how you and Bepo found such things, last time the two of you found those ungodly onesies and he mentally swore to himself NEVER AGAIN. 

The thing in question was a parrot, a small breed called a cockatiel. He recognized seeing it in one of the books he read when he was younger.

The thing nipped behind it's wing as she parched herself in your hand. 

Law will admit...he likes cute things...just not really birds.

The thing cooed out to him. 

"Please captain! Me and (Name) will promise to take care of her!"

"Please, Law!"

Oh no, his weakness to your begging.

No. He was going to stand his ground.

"Seventy three percent of the time we're in a submerged submarine. A bird can't live on board."

In an instant you and Bepo looked at each knowingly. With a nod you to both look at him with the best puppy dog eyes the two of you could muster.

"Please, Law?"

"Please, captain?"

God dammit.

And that's how Cari was brought onto the Heart pirates. 

At first things started out alright, Law made it clear as long as the bird didn't get in the way of his work everything would be fine.

The rest of the crew were absolutely in love with Cari. 

Penguin and Shachi sat around her perch, trying to make her repeat curse words and naughty phrases after them, Ikkaku would stand in the doorway and shake her head before muttering about the immaturity before walking away.

Jean Bart liked the bird, but he was afraid of hurting her due to his large size so he would always watch her from a distance.

When the sub would emerge above water, Cari would also join Bepo's nap time. Every time the sight would make a wide grin spread wide on your face. 

But there were the problems.

Huge problems.

Cari loves to eat. The glutton of a bird will loudly rattle her cage as her chirps would demand for food. And this would always occur in the middle of the night, the walls of the submarine carrying her outbursts all over the ship. When Cari was hungry in the middle of the night and her container was empty, every member of the crew would know.

Law, groaning trying to focus on his work (insomnia edition™) would mentally curse to himself that that bird is like a certain Strawhat. 

Then came another one of her problems: Shachi and Penguin's teaching phrases worked.

You'd come into Law's office late at night to come beg him to come to bed. After a couple exchanges of your begging pleas and arms wrapped around his neck while he sat, he finally agreed. 

The two of you were cuddled up while Cari's cage sat on your nightstand. 

Kisses were pressed to your forehead as you closed your eyes with a smile. Eventually the two of you were relaxed enough to sleep. 

"Oh yeah! Fuck me like that!"

Both you and Law's eyes instantly sprang open.

"Son of a bitch! Fuck! Shitting ducks! Pussy!" 

Law's body sprang up and with one shambles, Cari and the cage were roomed off to the 'teacher's' cabins. 

Law groaned as he laid back down.

That bird was such a nuisance. 

It was a hot day in the part of the New World they were in, a summer island had to be somewhere nearby. You and the rest of the crew decided to to chill out on deck and enjoy the sun. 

Before leaving to go outside you swung by Law's office to see if he wanted to join. He of course turned the offer saying he had to much work to do and that he would pass.

That made you disappointed, you wanted to lay out on deck together. 

You were just about to go get Cari out of her cage for her to get some sunshine when the idea popped into your mind. A wicked smile crossed your face. You walked over to pretend to get something out of your dresser. 

"Hey Law?" He grunted in response, eyes still on his paperwork. 

"Can you watch Cari for me?"

"Wouldn't she want to be outside?"

"Yeah but Ikkaku says it might she might be comfortable in here-" You tried to think up a lie on the spot. "Too bright out there, you know Grandline usual."

He didn't seem to second guess it, too focused on his work. "Yeah sure."

You smiled before giving him a: "Thanks! Love you!" before dashing out of the room. 

"Yeah...love you too."

He didn't think nothing of the bird being in there with him, she wasn't actually bothering him before now. He needed to focus on his plan of infiltrating Punk Hazard.

Cari did seem too quiet though.

Whatever. 

After a couple of hours, Law set down his pen and leaned back in his chair. He looked to the doorway. 

Maybe a few minutes outside wouldn't hurt. 

Then the moment he got up out of his chair:

"Son of a fuck!" 

Law groaned, stupid bird. 

"Asswipes!"

Law felt at the bridge of his nose. 

"Degenerate bird."

"Degenerate bitch!"

Law's eyes snapped to the cage.

How the hell did she get that from that?!

Curiously, Law made his way over to the cage.

Cari perched on her little swing, her wings flapping about. She instantly took notice of Law.

"Depressed bitch!"

It took Law back. Well, she wasn't wrong. 

"Fucking! Boobs! Ass! (Name)! Titties!"

Law looked back at his chair and decided to see what the fuck else with bird knew how to say.

After retrieving his chair, he sat it in front of the nightstand and stared glarely at the parrot. Cari tilted her head, looking back him before shoving her face in her food container. In a matter of seconds her neck snapped back as she began to do her food loud empty screech and leaping for one of the bars of the cage, rattling the metal. 

Law bent down to open up the sack of bird seed on the floor slumped against the nightstand. He scooped some out with the measuring cup inside the bag and leaned up to hold it in front of the cage. 

Cari popped her head through the bars and screeched for it.

"What other words have those idiots taught you?" Cari blinked twice. 

"Slut." Law deadpanned.

This fucking bird. 

When you finally came back inside, you smiled to yourself hoping the two would've spent some quality time together. 

You stood in the door in awe at the sight you saw.

Law asleep slumped over while the door to Cari's cage was wide open and the bird was perched on your boyfriend's shoulder.

"Did they have a goo-" you shushed Bepo and motioned for him to come look, he quietly gasped in both shock and awe, sparkles in the polar bear's eyes. 

You looked back at the scene with a loving smile.

You knew Law would come around to her eventually.

Now where's that camera?

(Bas, your welcome in my ask box anytime!)

(👁👄👁)

[psychedelic-ink]

New Dawn(by lunna-star-8)

Dear Sabo and Ace,

Things haven’t been the best since Marineford, smiling hurts and Luffy shows no sign of waking up… I don’t know what to do… I keep expecting to wake up and the war never happened, but no amount of wishful thinking will get me that… Either way, I’m still not quite sure what day it is, the only time I grabbed a newspaper I ended up reading the comic strip instead. Sorry about that, I’ll end up finding what day it is, eventually. Adding to the list of things I don’t know, I have no clue where we’re heading but, before either of you worry, let me tell you that I trust Law.

And no, don’t make those faces, he saved Luffy and he saved me after the war. You’d trust him too. He’s a nice guy when—-

My letter got interrupted by a loud siren and the feeling of the floor suddenly tilting all to one side. I held onto the bed that was clearly secure to the floor but I felt the whole submarine rattle for a minute before the siren quieted down and I heard the unmistakable sound of canon fire.

Without so much as a second thought, I put my notebook and pen to the side before I darted to the door, I try to push it open but it wouldn’t budge – he wasn’t kidding when he said he’d find a way to keep me in the room. But neither was I when I said it wouldn’t be that easy, I looked around the room because it had to have…

I smirked when I saw the bared square hole on the wall “Vents.” I climbed on top of my bed to be able to reach the opening. It was relatively easy to get the grid off and I could see Law’s office from where I was and my math told me I should be able to fit in the space “If you don’t stay in bed, your wounds will open up again. So stay in bed.” His voice basically rang in my head as I stared at his office. It’s not like they needed me, they’re a more than capable pirate crew and it’s not like I’d be much help in my current state anyway…

Suddenly, I remembered Ace and his blood on my hands, I remembered Bon’s voice as we passed through the gate, I remembered Luffy’s screams when he took a hit from Magellan for me… I looked over my shoulder to see him still lying unconscious where he had been since I woke up and as I blinked, I could see Law in my brother’s place hurt and bleeding, plagued with nightmares he couldn’t escape from… I thought of the kind polar bear, Bepo, that had been nothing but supportive since I woke up… Or Ikkaku that always seemed to have a friendly smile saved for me…

When another canon blast was felt across the ship, I turned back to the vent and made up my mind, I was going out there and try not to be seen. I wouldn’t fight unless I had to but I would not sit still and wait for someone else to take another blow for me. I forced my claws out and used them to help me onto the vent, with a lot more ease than I expected, I pushed my way through the tight space until my head came out right on top of Law’s desk. Immediately I noticed that his two massive bookshelves were missing which I assume were what was now blocking the infirmary’s door. By generating a bit of wind, I managed to trip the chair backwards so it was out of the way and then set my palms over the desk, easily slipping my legs out of the vent and allowing gravity to softly flip me onto the floor. I checked, nothing seemed to be bleeding or ripped or even hurting – much, or more than usual, you don’t just miraculously recover from something like that war without constant aching limbs.

Snapping myself out of my amazement, I opened the door and made my way out trying not to be spotted. It wasn’t hard, the halls were empty due to everyone being engaged in battle, after some wrong turns and a couple of canon shots later, I had made my way outside without being seen.

“GET TO STRAW HAT AND TIGER LUNA, MEN!” some marine called out as he ran for the submarine… Hadn’t we been through enough? Hadn’t they taken enough…?

Not a second after the marine first stepped onto the submarine, I saw the light blue aura of Law’s ‘room’ before the man was chopped into pieces, he was screaming but as live as anyone. As I saw the man’s pieces fall to the floor, I peeked around the corner to see that Bepo was the only one on the deck, easily kicking the ass of a bunch of marines that seemed to have underestimated the bear, beyond him, on board of one of the marine ships, I could make out Law in his yellow hoodie and white hat fighting marines like the supernova he is – “Sadistic little bastard…” I chuckled to myself but then shrugged “Can’t really say I wouldn’t do the same with his devil fruit though, seems fun.”

I looked back around the battlefield, feeling the tiger in me wanting to join in the fight, standing at the side-lines wasn’t really its thing and, to be perfectly fair, can’t say it was mine either. My eyes shift down where the marine is struggling to, literally, put himself back together – I couldn’t resist, I manipulated the air around him to lift his limbs as I stayed as hidden as I could. Clearly, the marine had no idea what was going on as I started to throw his arms and legs at the heads of other marines around, I have to say that I probably should’ve felt a bit bad for the man, but I didn’t. I left the head for last, trying to talk myself out of doing what I was thinking, but who knew if I’d ever get the chance again? Not to mention, it would be cathartic after everything. Pulling it closer with some softer breezes, I ignored the marine’s complaints before figuring out where I’d be aiming and grinned – the ship where Law was. I took a couple of steps back before quickly taking them back and kicking the head probably hard enough to crack his skull. It landed right on the head of another marine and— oH, ShIt! Law turned to the sub. I really hope he didn’t see me, or I’m dead meat.

I looked up at the dark blue sky that was lighting by the second and at the dark oceans behind us… “We can still see the sky, we can still see the ocean, it’s not like it’s hell here!” Usopp said once. We were in Enies Lobby, in the middle of a Buster Call and those words stuck with me, they rang true in my heart and came back to me as the ocean breeze caressed my hot skin. There was a fight going on behind me, my heart was racing as I was painfully aware that at any moment anyone could round up the corner and see me or even a marine ship could come around or anything, really! And here I was, longing for the horizon that calls my name… It felt like ages since I last heard the calling of the sea, that pull in my heart like the tides, that whisper in my ear as the wind passes, beckoning me to take a leap. It made my skin crawl with excitement, it made me want to take to the waves once again…

The call to the sea that all four of us shared – that all four of us share.

Expecting enough time to have passed for me to be in the clear, I peek out of the corner again only to be faced with two people. Reflexively, I punch one in the face and flip the other over my shoulder dropping him straight on the floor before I realize that it’s two guys from Law’s crew, I had seen them before “Oh! I’m sorry!” I quickly say realizing that the red haired one was holding onto his nose, where I had hit him “You really shouldn’t sneak up on people like that…”

The one on the floor grunted “Can’t you scream or something, like a normal girl?”

I shrugged “It’s called a fight or flight reaction; I hope you realize.” He glared at me from the floor “I’m still sorry though.”

“It’s fine…” the red-haired dismissed seeming to have established that I hadn’t broken his nose “Makes us wonder what the captain’s so worried about, you can clearly fend for yourself.”

I frowned “What do you mean, worried?”

The one on the floor got up as he chuckled, rubbing his back “Kicking severed heads around isn’t exactly subtle, you know?”

I rubbed my face in annoyance “Damnit, he saw me, huh?”

The red haired nodded “Oh yeah. Turned to us like, get that damn girl below deck before I have to go deal with her myself!”

I looked over at him with an eyebrow raised “And that’s ‘worried’ to you?”

“It is with the captain.” They both replied in unison and I found myself tilting my head in agreement.

“What are you doing out here anyway?” asked the one with – I had just noticed – a penguin hat on “Aren’t you supposed to be asleep? I don’t know, in bed at least?”

I rolled my eyes “Yeah, like I’m gonna stay in bed while you guys are out here fighting. I don’t think so.”

“Well, you kind of have to now.” The red haired one said “We have orders to take you back and that’s what we’ll do.”

I looked between the two of them, feeling like a scolded child but it’s not like I had a lot of choices “Fine!” I give in, knowing that there was no point in arguing “But just so you guys won’t get yelled at.”

“Very considerate.” Penguin hat guy quickly replied as they escort me back to the door I had very expertly sneaked out of.

I was resigning to having to sit it out, when I see Bepo hit the floor bleeding, two swords coming down on the bear – I’m reacting before I’m thinking – I rush over. I know I’m not strong nor fast enough to stop the marines, but I can cover Bepo.

And that’s what I do.

I throw myself over the injured bear, acting as a shield between him and the blades and I brace myself for the pain to come, but instead, I hear what seems like metal hitting metal. I open my eyes to find out that both boys from before had stopped the swords with their bare hands and proceeded to kicking the marines away. With adrenaline rushing through me like a river after heavy rain, I helped Bepo to his feet and got us back to the same door I was so reluctant to pass through before. He struggled to stop me, he didn’t want to leave the battle, his friends were still fighting but I wasn’t about to even give him a chance to argue.

Yes, I’m the queen of ‘I get to do stupid stuff while injured that I sure as hell won’t let anyone else do.’ Have anything to say? Fight me.

Bepo needed a doctor – Bepo needed Law. But his captain was now stuck fighting a Vice-Admiral and it’s not like there was anyone that could ‘take over’ sort to speak. The only way to get Bepo help was to get Law but the only way to get Law was to get rid of the Vice-Admiral and they were right, it’s not like I was in any condition to get in a real fight, let along one with a Vice-Admiral…

There was, although, something that I could do. I didn’t like using it, aiming was a bitch and I kind of decided that it had been a bad idea to even try it in the first place, but it was also the only technique that I had that I could use right now that could: face up to a Vice-Admiral; be used from a distance; and not tear my body into grated cheese.

I carefully helped Bepo to sit down by the door and turned back to face the fight. Behind me, the sun was starting to break through the darkness of the night and I took a deep breath before I held out my arms in front of me, palms facing each other and I took another deep breath. I felt the air shift around me as I focused it between my hands, with my mind I gave it the shape of a bow and with my right hand, pulled back the non-existing string, forming an arrow of concentrated air in the middle as I did so. I felt the straightened air currents slice through the bandages on my hands and arms, the blood starting to be pulled into the air circuit, tainting it slightly red.

“When Sabo died, we said we wanted to get stronger so we wouldn’t lose anyone else. You took that burned off our shoulders by promising us that you’d never die. We believed you. I believe in you. You live in my heart now, in the memories I have of you, in the letters I write you, hence, I have no choice but to look after myself. I also can’t get stronger if I can’t get better first and I need to get stronger to protect Luffy and all the people I care about. Time to step up. I will come back a better version of me.”

With my thoughts decided and feeling the air settle into shape, I took yet another deep breath “RED GUARDIAN!”

I called out my attack aimed at the Vice-Admiral, my right hand fingers released the tension and between one second and the next, I felt a warm familiar touch over my right hand, but before I could turn around, I saw, to my amazement, that my arrow had caught fire in such a way that it looked like a big red bird.

My own thoughts came back to me “I will come back a better version of me.”

“A phoenix.” I could almost hear Ace’s voice right at my ear…

And then the next second arrived. The fire bird hit its target, sending the Vice-Admiral flying backwards into a wall on the ship in a blaze of fire before he fell face first on the deck of his ship. My jaw was on the floor, had I just done that?

Movement in the corner of my eye makes me turn to see Bepo sitting on the floor, still clearly in pain and the bleeding didn’t seem to have even slowed down “LAW!” I called out to the doctor that quickly ‘shambles’ his way closer to us.

He rushed to his friend’s side and looked him over with truly concerned eyes, examining the damage, gave the two guys from earlier some orders and then called over a very very tall guy “Jean Bart…” he spoke coldly as his eyes scanned the marines still standing “Sink them.” Without another word, Law disappeared into the submarine and Jean Bart went to do what he had been ordered.

Left alone once again, I held my right hand that still felt comfortably warm and remembered the feeling from before. I looked behind me only to be blinded by the rising sun, I couldn’t help but smile with him as a single tear slipped down my cheeks…

[inexchangeforyoursoul]

.... I never put chapter 20 on here, did I. Double chapters it is. (20. Katja & 21. Once upon a dream)

this time with AN included as-is, I’m too lazy to rewrite this shit for the tumbler

(who even reads fanfics on here...? fanfiction.net AO3)

20. Katja

As he arrives in his room, Law takes a quick look at his alarm clock, then a deep, ragged breath immediately after... she's out loafing around again, isn't she. He's a little ticked off, not gonna lie; first of all, because of... this. She just keeps doing this. Which would be less of a problem if she'd show any progress, but she's not. Second, he's tired, terribly so. All sleep he's had today was the unplanned nap in the canteen early morning, and the ounce of patience he's gained from that has ran out. He's just about to leave the indifferent coma period behind where you can just keep going and going, until your emotions start to get hard to control. Even later, you become an actual zombie and eventually black out. In his own body, that would happen in about 24 hours from now, but in this one? Already there.

And the underlying source of it is that he's grown totally paranoid.

That's why he hasn't managed to get any shuteye. Or get anything else done. His own shadow spooked him once, for fuck's sake... and it's all because of that godforsaken alleyway adventure, which really drove home how utterly helpless and vulnerable he is at the moment. Deer in the fucking headlights. He's straight-up disgusted with himself.

He stomps up to the surface; anyone noticing him remains silent and makes sure to keep out. His crew knows this way of walking... and are not eager to provoke his thinly veiled ire.

He just came from the dining hall, she won't be there. On deck of the Polar Tang, nothing except so much light that his tired eyes may as well go blind right now. The dull headache that missed its appointment the other day just arrived uninvited, too... all it took was some natural light and fresh air. Glorious.

He climbs the rope ladder to the Sunny; noone's around the steering wheel, but he can hear, and see some people around; he goes straight up to them.

“Nico-ya,” he calls out from afar; “do you know where the hell she's at?”

“I'm... in heaven,” he hears right next to him as soon as he's finished talking. He stops in his tracks, looks, and sees... quite something, he supposes. It's throwing him for enough a loop to be more dumbfounded than pissed for the time being.

The bottom of the pile is a knocked-out Bepo; leaning onto him are Carrot, who's also out cold, and Kat, who has a very relaxed, leg-swinging Chopper in her lap. They all have a cup in their hand or lying around, just like Nami, Robin and his good-for-nothing crewmates a bit further away.

As he doesn't react fast enough past getting worked up again over them hogging his personal couch and a mouthed 'what the hell,' she speaks up again. “It's nice, warm and fluffy here~ Wanna join?”

… she's taunting him. Kat has no idea, but she's fucking taunting him right fucking now. Any other day or time, he'd gladly lean onto Bepo and have a damn good early afternoon nap, or any other kind of nap, really. But today is not the day. He'd love to, yes; it's the best fucking quality sleep he has access to. Usually. But because Bepo is wide awake from around 6pm to 7am, he can't use him as a pillow at all while rotting in his room, keeping one eye on this girl during the time he actually could be doing that. Just... take a deep, deep breath. Stay calm, man. Stay. Calm.

He sighs, clenching his fists, and now that Kat's actually looked at him, he can already see from her mildly worried expression that she's catching onto his current mood. “... Kat-ya... I swear to god...”

Hearing that changes her reaction with some delay, however... the smallest smile appears on her face which she tries to suppress; she locks her hands and takes a long sniff of air while looking skyward. Soon, she gives up on hiding her glee, and a shit eating grin appears on her face and she just looks very, very pleased with herself. “... I've been waiting for this.”

“... what?!” Law frowns, having no idea what got into her. Was it something he said? It has to be.

She doesn't seem fazed and keeps giggling to herself while lifting a just as confused Chopper from her lap and slowly standing up.

“Oh, oh!! I understand!” speaks up the reindeer snickering soon after as he comes to the solution; “That's your name, it was on the tag at the coffee shop! Katja! Ha ha ha!”

… oh. Oh. Jesus, really? Law lifts his hands to his chin as if praying instead of giving into his initial urge to smack himself on the temples; he knew that it's an abbreviation, but he'd have never thought that the original was that of all things... and she's been fucking waiting for him to accidentally pun on it. And, on top of it all, this might be... no, it certainly is the very first time he called her by name, too. Why him... and why now. … he could cry if it weren't for his pride. So instead he squeezes his eyes shut and is furrowing his brows really, really hard to keep it together.

He can hear her stop in front of him, then, after a few seconds, he feels the most delicate  little tap-tap of four fingers on his shoulder; cracking an eye open, he can see Kat holding out a half empty cup of coffee. Is... she offering this...?

“I suppose you need this more than I do,” she says. It could be just his imagination, but it certainly sounds like her voice is softer than usual. Considering the vague throbs of his head, this is lowkey appreciated.

“Um...” As he's vacillating how to handle this development, a half-conscious Bepo woken by the racket trots over and pulls both of them into a literal, but way gentler bear hug than what other people have been experiencing that day. The content of the cup survives this, somehow, and Kat is holding it out to the side.

“I miss captain,” the mink mumbles, then probably falls back asleep on his feet. At least he doesn't really move for a solid minute afterwards and is just rocking a bit to keep some kind of balance.

Peeking up towards Bepo, a sad smile appears on Kat's face. She reaches over with her free hand along the orange-clad pelt with a sigh and gives Law an awkward hug of her own, then breathes a 'garchu' into his hat. He can't help being startled and shrink a bit in surprise at this; hopefully the others don't notice anything of that past the tic of his shoulders.

“Sorry, didn't mean to stay out for long,” she says then; “I can see you are not up for bullshit today.”

Sometimes... she's as giggly as Carrot. At others, almost as apologetic as Bepo. She also tends to be physical, even if for split seconds... uses people as hunting targets, and now she's picked up mink-brand hospitality both in theory and practice. This girl must have been one of them, or some animal, in a previous life.

He groan-sighs; that spark of patience? These two just managed to raise it from the dead. Somehow. The mood swings devoured his energy to try and push away, though, or to just get worked up again about the affection of a still-kind-of-a-stranger. Now, hold on, my dude... try to not embarrass yourself by falling the fuck asleep in this incredibly comfortable and safe-feeling hug roll right now.

“... let go of me, knuckleheads,” he grunts, nestling around after the short pause he needed to pull himself together. From the corner of his eye, he can see a very pleased Robin. And Penguin and Shachi slurping away at their own coffee in unison at an incredibly slow pace while staring at him specifically. At least that's what Nami does, who's likely sporting the very same expression as the other two, after all.

They all look so infuriatingly smug.

“So, what I wanted to say... I've just had two cups, but thanks,” he addresses Kat a second later as Bepo shambles back to his previous location with an 'aye aye;' the semi-wake Carrot appreciates this and doesn't hesitate to hog double the space than before she got knocked off as soon as he lies down. Chopper sips from his extra sweet mocaccino while also settling back down, and is silently wondering why she even asked for coffee if she was about to take a nap.

Suppressing a yawn with all his might, Law continues; “... and I think I've mentioned it already, but don't do that. The touching.” … yeah, he did mention it, albeit offhandedly. Occasional pats and pokes are okay, but he's not gonna list an entire 'Trafalgar D. Water Law's Personal Space: A Rule Book' right now. Or ever, really. People either know their shit or they don't, and get away with shit or they don't.

“Oh, right... sorry,” Kat mumbles nervously as she recalls the vague memory. Never mind, she definitely is as apologetic as his navigator. As she prepares to gulp the rest of her drink down in one go, she stops; “You sure you don't want any?”

He raises an eyebrow. “I am... why do you keep asking?”

“I helped make it,” she says, lightening up a bit; “it's vanilla and almond flavored.”

Honestly... he keeps forgetting that she actually works in a place where stuff like this is made. All despite having called her 'cafe girl' for the longest time before, and even after their... accident. Then it became just girl, woman, or simply she-slash-her, which did cause the rare confusion when Ikkaku was around or involved in a matter. Anyway, sharing is caring and all that, but that thing there sounds like a sugar bomb. Which may help him, because his blood sugar levels are not that great at the moment, but at the same time he's not big on vanilla, so... once again, no, thanks.

“I like my coffee black, K...at.” Okay, he almost did it again... and why? Good fucking question. Why call her Kat more than once today, when he was perfectly fine with some variation or combination of the previously mentioned things thus far? He's just been over this, too... Must be exhaustion. And hormones, perhaps. Will have to watch his mouth a lot for the few hours left of this shitty day.

She bites down on her lip to try and hold back the chuckle. “Just say it... say the thing you wanted to say,” she smiles, downing the brew.

“Not in a million years.”

***

*insert Twilight parody line at the end*

Me, looking at my imaginary bullet point table: “You know what would be a good idea? Have a chapter that doesn't have Kat's PoV at all... and name it after her... Yeah.”

(Note: as I REEEALLY need to start working on my BA thesis due around the end of April, this project will likely get totally sidelined. Or speed up because of my procrastination skills. We'll see. After all, I have like 5x0.5 chapters lying around (and about 2 that are finished) and just need to add pacing fillers and patch things up.)

21. Once upon a dream

Kat takes a quick look at the underwater window; it's already nighttime. She should pull herself together soon and stand up, no matter how comfortable the edge of the bed is right now. The room's also perfectly cozy in this rare moment, she could nod off if she doesn't watch herself... especially since she's actually lying across the thing. Don't fall asleep again, man. Put that watch down for a sec, if you have to, and three, two, one, sit. I said three... two... theeere you go.

As she scoots to the side, she peeks at Law for a sec, too. Apart from one round for a glass of water, he's been perfectly silent and still in his chair all afternoon. From what she sees, he's barely keeping his head up, literally nodding off himself, if he'd allow that. He also had a couple of suppressed yawns earlier. Sympathizing with him here... though she's not exactly tired, it's more of the empty feeling one gets after a long, busy day. Still, her body feels heavy and her head light since she herself was in a limbo a minute ago; Kat gives her cheeks a good slap. How long must it have been, the last time she peeked out the window and it was still kind of evening? Fifteen minutes? Thirty...? Definitely not an hour, that cannot be.

“Just go if you're already this dull,” Law moans from over his notebook that hasn't had any new information written into it for a while, then he turns outward. He might have been waiting for her to leave so he can just fall like a log...

“You're one to talk...” She yawns. “Y'ere tired enough yesterday, but today you've been lookin'... really bad.” Like, really bad. Now that Kat can take a good look, he's... indeed in a very rough shape. Maybe she shouldn't have mentioned it at all, but she's getting worried, especially now that she's seen his face. Man, it's been a while since she last had bags under the eyes… If she ever pulled an all-nighter, this is probably what it would look like. He looks two minutes from collapsing on the spot...

He sighs, rubbing his temples. “No shit... I wake up frequently in the first place, but today was especially bad. Your body really is not big on these temperatures.” It's either that or the 'new' environment, can't blame anything else. Honestly, he may be a rather restless sleeper in the first place, but this extra disturbance really throws a wrench into his routine. The best rest he's had this week was that almost-hour in the hall this morning... partly because it was a dreamless one.

“I also had some shitty dream that just kept going every time I managed to fall asleep?” he groans, having reminded himself of that, too. It was all kinds of annoying. “That the alleyway was in it is one thing... but running late for college? On a tram of all things...? Fuck me, I never even finished school, save used one of those things.” Huffing, he closes the book on the desk; he can feel at least four joints in his hand pop at that. His back hurts, too... there's no way he'll get anything else done today, provided he did anything noteworthy at all. At this point, he's just pissed at himself. He leans onto one arm to rest his head, that weighs more and more with every passing minute, on.

Kat, meanwhile... is very much alert, and concerned, to say the least. Because she knows that specific dream pretty damn well. Been a few months, and she thought it might be over already... yet Law did just describe that recurring, anxiety-induced semi-nightmare right now. All of this is looking just as she imagined... oh boy.

“Um... Law?” She blinks over to her bag, then back at him, before reaching inside after short consideration.

He sighs, trying his best to keep his eyelids from closing before being anywhere near the bed. “No need to look at me as if I needed a straitjacket, okay...? I need some rest, is all.”

“I know, it's just... I've been having... unusual dreams, too,” she says standing up, fiddling a little with the board facing her; he looks up with tired eyes. She's... unsure whether it's an appropriate time to show this to him... Following some hesitation, she does turn it around.

Law squints a little to see the thin-lined doodles better, also getting up from his chair. As he steps forward, his frown quickly changes from general irritation and vague anger into worry, confusion, and maybe discomfort... he almost looks scared. Kat can't help but avert her eyes and stare at his feet instead while fighting the urge to do anything with her fingers that itch for fiddling with stuff; she's feeling very out of place right now.

He reaches out to hold the drawings pinned to the corkwood; as soon as she feels the smallest tug, the object is released and she peeks back up at him.

Most of the wrinkles have disappeared, and he's taking in the little details, as few as there are, one by one. His fingers trace down the paper with a gentleness that she has never seen from him before, or even imagined him being capable of. He seems to mouth a word or two... it's as if she's handed him an old, lost photo instead of a couple of rough sketches, really. The way he looks at them, too... there is... a desolate feeling about it. Longing.

He blinks.

“... you couldn't fake this if you wanted to...”

That voice is also new. She's heard him talk calmly, but this is way softer than that. Thinking about it, this might be the first time she's heard him whisper, isn't it? However, it also feels wrong. Sad... He's hurt, seemingly on the verge of tears. But... she doesn't want to see this person sad... and especially not make him sad. Oh no... oh no...

Getting to the bare-bones stick doodle of the gates, he closes his eyes. “... since when?”

While it's nearly the usual tone, it also sounds as if it could break any time... All she can do right now is to enter default anxiety mode and just... spill it. “I saw the first one... when I fell asleep down here.”

“How much... did you see?” Good lord, how much could it be...

That question sounds as if she was eavesdropping on purpose or something... Considering that this seems to be very personal and a sensitive issue to Law, it certainly feels like it. “There were... three dreams, I think. I don't remember a lot from the first two, but... today I hung out with that man, in a bright town. Later the buildings turned into white sand... and we played in it.”

A bitter smile appears on his face. Of all things... building something like sand castles with him. In that rubble... on that rubble. “A white city, eh...?” Don't cry... barely awake or not, don't you dare fucking cry, shithead.

“... yes. And, uh...” This information... might not even be relevant, but she might as well mention the other... characters? People? “some children joined, too. Most of them had a uniform. First was a little dark blonde girl, with pigtails...” She doesn't remember anything noteworthy about the others...

While generally avoiding to look at his face right now, it's obvious that this bit was indeed important, and must have hit him pretty hard; he hugs the paper support and lowers his head, resting his chin against the drawing board.

“... that went on for a bit, until a man and woman came, to...” She stops. Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Can't just finish the sentence like that, what if they were his parents?! Wait, she thought the man looked like Law. They absolutely were his parents and whatever has happened he's super upset about this already. FUCK. How the hell can she continue now, if a couple of vague descriptions, about ten lines of a building and the mention of a white... a White...

The scorching coals of distress turn to ice in her chest, and she dares a short look back at him, then stares at her hands that kind of feel as cold as if they were her own. Her thoughts take a quick detour to do simple math, then from one old memory scrap to another, followed by some anecdote fragments in a collection she read that was not for her age at the time.

She doesn't like the idea. It's not her place to inquire about this, if true. Think anything about this, if true. Maybe, just maybe, it's not the truth at all. It's so extremely unlikely, after all. It still does feel like she stumbled upon a terrible secret. Forbidden knowledge. Because... she knows why that place was familiar. And it would just make perfect sense, if, by chance...

“I remember... the newspaper from that day,” she says finally after swallowing hard, squeezing out the words one by one, feeling their weight. It's one of those memories that just flash in front of her from time to time; when she's sitting in the kitchen in the golden hour, or having apricot jam on bread, like back then. In this one, she's barely eight... looking at pictures in a paper. The old, crackling denden mushi is receiving the only radio signal available, the news are just about over. They repeated something that's been a topic for a week or so. There's... an image of a town, labeled as an archive photograph...

“It was headlines. I didn't read the article, wouldn't have really understood anyway, but... I remember the photo... of a big building. And the fence in front. That's what it is... that's the place I've been seeing... right?”

He's as still as a statue. There's some noise, something between a hum and a whimper, hard to decide... he nods after some delay. Kat is at a loss as to how she could proceed, if at all... saying more would be awkward; leaving would be even more so… doing anything, even existing, is awkward. In the end, Law's the one to break the silence.

“I was sick… with nowhere to run. Didn't even know who to blame, I just wanted to take revenge on anything... and everything.” After the hastily uttered train of thought gets out, he takes a deep, shaky breath. Fuck it, she already knows. He gave away the missing critical pieces to an incomplete puzzle, like the utter tool he is. Most he can do right now is to tell her whatever seems... safe. Just enough to satisfy her questions, barely enough to let this issue die right here. It's just...

Putting an end to that a few months ago is still so fresh in his mind. It made him rethink a lot of things, and just generally think of that godforsaken day a lot again... old wounds were ripped open, and they are not done healing, not at all. He's been trying to just cover it all up until this alliance business dies down for good, and right now there is only a mess of strong feelings with no coherent thoughts attached. It's hard... finding words for it right now is just too damn hard.

Law reaches out; Kat is too puzzled figure out what to do, or how she should interpret the gesture, so she doesn't stop the unsure, icy fingers from barely tapping her chest.

“He was the one... who saved me,” Law breathes, lowering the drawing board in his other hand.

It takes Kat a second to remember that right under the T-shirt is the center of his big tattoo, pretty much the image of the Heart Pirates' jolly roger. The only 'he' she can think of... and that's kind of like that one smile she saw today, isn't it. And there's the heart motive, buried under either smoke or fire... “... the man in the feather coat...”

He hums; he's not touching her anymore, but his hand hovers over the spot for another moment.

Kat meanwhile regrets not waiting with her dumb question until a more suitable time a lot... and is also getting choked up. It's not even because of an episode after a long time spent in comfortable numbness, or that seeing sad or miserable people makes her restless, especially if she's attached to them... it's rather that, if nothing else in particular stuck with her from that frigid, snowy dream, she remembers the feeling very well. It was a lot like the one she had as a little girl, of her mother being hypnotized and abandoning her. Never saw the end of that recurring nightmare. She always woke up after the person responsible, -the local shopkeeper, for some reason,- just laughed and laughed at her misery... All in all, it felt like shit. This man also must have died, or else Law wouldn't be like... this. Quite frankly, just remembering the name of Flevance and connecting it to the crumbling sand town caused a visceral reaction she cannot put anywhere. This body never really let go of Law, did it...?

As his hand starts to slip away, she reaches for it intuitively; it just seems... the logical thing to do? Except it's not, not really. He doesn't even like things like this... God, she's also been exhausted mentally with all these people around, and even wasted more energy on this silly hug business, zeroing her leftover sense of self-awareness. Oh well... if she's already at it, and thinking about it, there's one semi-logical step left. It's normal to do that in these situations anyway, so...

Kat takes a hesitant step ahead, and pulls him once again into a gentle one-armed hug: just a bit tighter, and a bit less awkward than the previous one. The hand she took a second ago is raised back up to roughly where Law's own heart would be and she holds it so carefully as if it were made of something really brittle, like an actual shard of thin ice. Also can't help but note that her body is exactly a head shorter than his... will have to resist the temptation to lean into the curly hair, even if it's inconveniently tickling her neck right now.

Law really wants to be angry, or anything other than tired and empty, really, but the half-hearted attempt is a complete failure. Instead, the only emotion he can muster is deepest shame; normally, he'd just brood down here alone, maybe cry into his pillow, but... he's not alone right now, and needs this. Really badly. Someone to latch onto, like a gross attention leech... And it feels so damn great. She's also rubbing his back a little, and may or may not have just lowered her chin onto his head. This is nice, so, if only for a little while… okay, this should do it... the three to five seconds of self-indulgent cuddling are over. He takes a deep breath to calm down and try to pull himself together as she mumbles something into his hair that he can barely make out.

“You are such a brave and smart boy...”

His heart swells upon hearing that, and he feels the first tear break free from under strict supervision; she probably didn't even mean to say it out loud, and the rather infantilizing nature of the statement aside... although it's part of the problem, really... her soft-spoken demeanor just makes that voice sound a lot like his father's. A little too much. There comes the first hiccup, soon followed by many more...

Kat drifts back to reality upon hearing the first sob, and finds herself unsure what to do again; she has no idea how to handle a situation like this. Did she ever have a crying person around when she did something past just... standing in a corner and feeling bad herself? At any time? What did... what did her parents do, how did they calm her down? They... what they did was... there's... nothing. They humored her for a minute, maybe. When it was just a scratch, told her that it's no big deal. All she remembers are the times they made her cry over something stupid instead... being straight-out terrified at times, going as far as hiding the shards of a broken vase or mug in the cluttered backyard. Even when she stepped into an old nail, she didn't tell a thing, although she was old enough to know that she ought to get tetanus vaccination afterwards.

She can feel anger boil its way up her throat; god, just... in how many ways did growing up with those people fuck her over...? No... no, no, no. No thinking about that, she has someone else here, and they need some kind of help or support. But she's so useless... augh, maybe she shouldn't be here at all right now...

“Law... do you want me to leave?” At least she can't do any harm with that...

The answer is not exactly direct, but a whimper like that sounds like a 'no' in any situation. If that wouldn't be enough, his hand also curls around a wrinkle of the tee.

Kat sighs, releasing his hand and wrapping her now free arm around him instead; she also takes the board before he drops it, and tosses the thing on the corner of the bed, near where the wobbly book pile is. What else could she do now, though...? She doesn't really have a sure means to calm him down... maybe... maybe she could sing, or rather hum something, stay until he falls asleep. Let's see, it has to be something soft... and preferably not holiday-related. There's not a lot that she knows perfectly by heart, though. Oh god... um, maybe that one, the one her mother sang to her and her brothers after going to bed, until she just stopped doing it one day. Which was quite a shame, really; she loved it a lot. Seems like she can still remember the tune, too... alright.

While she was contemplating, her right hand wandered up to his scalp and is absentmindedly scratching away at his nape ever so softly. She stops for a split second upon noticing, but resumes just as quickly- he hasn't said anything, nor reacted, so it should be okay. In fact, it seems to be doing a pretty good job... Law's less tense, and his breathing less erratic already. Alright, he should be fine in a few more minutes; shushing will be fine for now. As soon as he's down to sniffling, she leads him to the bed to sit.

Since he doesn't seem to be letting go of the t-shirt any time soon, she joins him with one hand still on his back. Maybe five motionless minutes pass before she takes a look at him; he's barely conscious leaning against her, isn't he... whether it's just to avoid stressful dreams or being on autopilot, he's still not willing to let himself fall asleep. What a stubborn oaf.

She sighs a little, and concentrates on a single note before humming the old song, after all. The last thing she kind of remembers before drifting off is thinking about how to lay him down without waking him up.

***

Today's #mood be like mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=005143

I'll try to churn out one more before I go on a forced hiatus, just so it stops on a less depressing note... that aside, story time!

So... I have zero connection to America. Live in the area where West and East Europe meet, in the middle of nowhere basically. And yet, I remember coming home when I was 10, and the TV showing some 3-hour news special on 9/11. The single suspended mental image of the television showing one of the planes before impact as I throw my backpack down before I go eat just stuck with me. There are many other little things, like the marzipan lion from my brother's first birthday cake hanging out in the kitchen window for months (I was barely 2 then, like? holy shit); seeing the few drops of blood on the concrete after a kid named Márk hit someone in the face in kindergarten as they cry in the background; the moment I saw a thick snake slither at my feet as I wanted to go down to the cellar outdoors around 4th grade (I've felt uneasy down there ever since, was a favorite before)... They are 3D photographs of minuscule length if any... as a visual type, I might have more of these than the average, but it's amazing that billions of people, if not everyone, has these lying around in their brains. Humans are wild, man.

Anyway, I remembered that, and decided to put something similar in here. Same for the song, which is the main motif of “Esti Dal” aka Evening Song. (quote-unquote best version I could find rn was this flash mob /watch?v=b055cHvLgtk) Kat's a semi-self-insert, after all.

ps.: The universe is a cold, uncaring place, and remembering is the most powerful FUCK YOU at your disposal, and erasing memories of someone or something is the most cruel punishment you can impose- all I'm saying is, that the least you can do is share these memories in some way or form. Go write something, you tool. And me, too. Yes you, I know you'll be reading this in a few weeks again to check where you left off when you last were unmotivated to continue. And yes, you did indeed write the commentary for... whatever chapter this is before finishing 19, bitch. I see you. Shia LaBeouf that shit. JUST. DO IT.