#ikon stay strong

[rottendollface]

The Horror of Our Love. Chapter 1.

Co-author: @bigtimesalt8196

Character: Childe Tartaglia | Ajax.

Image: Picsart AI.

Warnings: NSFW; Ajax is older than in canon; broken time line and age line for the sake of plot; female virgin reader, incestuous relationships, family abuse, misogyny, mentions of rape, unprotected sex, black magic, blood and flesh magic, body horror, sacrilegious, Foul Legacy Childe, breeding kink, miscarriage, marriage, grooming, pregnancy, erotic lactation, murdering, abyssal soulmates, serfdom system in Snezhnaya; all the characters are adults; 18+.

Childe remembered his childhood with sadness: the world around him was silent and colorless; his soul, timid and gentle, couldn't find needed endorsement, as no one seemed to care about him and his role in this doomed world either. He was dreaming about adult life: the life where he would be significant and needed like all the adults around him, the life where people would listen to his words and would be interested in his opinion. 

Father held the Bible in his right hand, and all of his kids, except Ajax, who preferred to hold it in his left hand, did the same. Father told that sin couldn't come into their house, and everyone believed it, and routine in Ajax's house was calm and silent under the strict oversight of ikons of Tsaritsa in a shy light of lamp. 

Childe grew up in the village among the boundless sea of snow and sharp icicles, which were hanging from the roofs and trees like lethiferous rocks that were covering the underwater ground. Rural life was simple and boring: the biggest part of the year people were waiting for the short summer to come to get the previous harvest and sow a new one. In Snezhnaya everything did its best to adapt to the hard climate, and Childe still saved in memory how he was helping father in haymaking time, reeking with sweat and feeling how his skin was burning from unusually hot and mighty Sun. After haymaking Ajax's hair became dull and bright, and his body remained tanned until winter came to cover everything with a solicitous blanket of snow, and nature was resting until new summer – again and again in a sacred circle, despite all the worries and tragedies of human life.  

Ajax was too young to experience death: one of newborn brothers died on a second day of his small life – Ajax remembered a dark bundle and a little coffin that looked like a toy boat that he used to play with when he was little; for him it was confusing and seemed like a game: Ajax couldn't understand why the cheerful face of mother became dark, and her eyes seemed to be blind to her other kids. She remained silent for a couple of days, but she didn't stop working – she tried to distract herself from grief with hard work, and her portly strong body was unusually strange for Ajax. The older brothers told him: it wasn't the first time someone of her kids had died, but mother was a very sensitive person. Tears of pity to his mother still were bursting from Ajax's eyes every time he recalled this memory. 

Ajax had to grow up when you were born: all the elder brothers had already left, and he was the next one to take responsibility for his family on his fragile shoulders. He didn't like that his family had to work for some noble: parents worked for days and nights for someone who didn't care to raise salary, and the same faith was waiting for everyone in his family, as all of their breed were peasants. Mother told Ajax to be grateful: the landowner they worked for was a good man who visited the village rarely and stayed at the capital. Their duties weren't hard – he just needed to work and be happy for surviving another day. Ajax liked to take care of cattle and horses, and chop firewoods; his favorite were fishing and salting the part of catch which his family was allowed to keep for themselves – but the fact that some man, who was lucky enough to be born in a different social class, was owning Ajax's whole family made him feel sick. They didn't have to worry about the earth, and nobles were obligated to take care of their peasants, but the law was on noble's side: nobles were allowed to deprive their peasants of property and send them out of the village, nobles could punish their peasants as much as they wanted. There was a way to get out of life like this – and Ajax was determined to end it.

Ajax was confused when father yelled at him and punched him at the back of his head: he told Ajax that it was just a whim, just an eagerness of youthful maximalism and inexperience in life. While father was worried about the money and all the taxes he would have to pay from leaving their master, Ajax was thinking about human dignity and the value of his sisters and brothers as a person, not forced labor. Ajax missed the moment when the relationship between father and him started to worsen, but the awe and respect he once had to his father now were gone, and irritation took their place. 

'Old man knows nothing about life,' Ajax used to tell his older brothers, who lived in the two nearest houses in the same yard. 'Times have changed, but he is too stubborn and stupid to understand this.'

Older brothers, Timofey and Gleb, weren't good people. When the veil of childhood fell off Ajax's eyes he realized the bitter truth: Timofey and Gleb were thinking about heritage only and were splitting the house, cattle, horses and everything that belonged to their parents already without thinking about younger siblings. Timofey wanted to own all the horses and the workshop in which father was making leather. Gleb didn't care about horses; he wanted only the workshop as the most successful business of their family. Both Timofey and Gleb were apprentices, but the father promised to bequeath the workshop to one of them.

They turned out to be ungrateful vultures who were arguing about the heritage almost every dinner with their alive and healthy father sitting right next to them. It was useless to foster them now, so father only looked at both of them with a heavy gaze and kept silent. When the argument turned into a fight, he usually just punched the dinner table, and they calmed down immediately, changing the topic to bring father's wrath on someone else – Ajax was the favorite victim before your birth. Father had a heavy hand and rather rancorous mind. He punished his kids physically in a nasty, painful manner. He remembered all the misbehavior of his kids and waited until the end of the week: on Sunday, right after weekly visit to the local church, he called the names of a guilty one and brought a rod that was moistening in saline for a couple of days. The execution was simple: the guilty sat (or layed – everything for the comfort of his children) on the bench, while father was whipping them mercilessly. For crying and screaming, he added whips; for keeping silent, too. It was impossible to seek leniency and the total amount of whips dependent on father's mood. Once, he was so mad at Ajax, so he broke three rods on his back – and the scars still didn't heal. That's why father was respected in the village, and no one could say a word against his: Ajax's family was the example of perfection, a beautiful wife, and obedient kids who treated elders with honor – the dream of every snezhnayan man and the indicator of a mighty husband.

Everything went wrong when you were born. You brought your mother difficult childbirth and painful labor, an eclipse closed the Moon and put the earth into the darkness the moment after all the households heard your first cry. Mumbling of the old midwife; exhausted, thick body of mother and bowls with reddish water because of bloody towels that were thrown into it offhandedly: the atmosphere of your first birthday was torturing. 

'What are you doing here, huh? Stop hanging around and get lost! Walking here like flies to manure...' Midwife pushed Ajax with her shoulder, walking through the door with one of the basins in her flabby old hands. 'Not a year without your mother bringing another unlucky soul in this world.' 

She gave an unfriendly laugh, and Ajax remembered her cracking dry voice. Ajax heeded and heard the old midwife mumbling to herself. 'I've never seen such an ugly birthmark on a newborn girl before.'

Father was absent; even mother took you in her hands reluctantly, more from obligation than from sincere desire. 

You were growing up just like Ajax – forsaken by everyone and regularly scolded by father. But there was one thing different from his childhood: you weren't allowed to leave the house no matter what. Your parents didn't care about giving you education or socialization, seeing it as an unnecessary option, harmful even. You were naturally talkative and curious, and it was a big problem of yours. Adults were waving you away as you irritated them with endless questions; no one wanted to spare a moment for you, so you played alone with old broken toys that you got from Ajax. 

Ajax's heart ached badly every time he found you alone in the back room of the house (which was used as a storage for newspapers and books), or saw you waving your tiny hand to him through the window when he was working outside. You had nothing else to do but to watch your relatives working in the yard through the frosted window, or sit in the back room and imagine your toy soldier (a poor soldier who lost his hand when he belonged to Ajax, and who's uniform became dull and dirty long ago) reaching the highest peaks of the book mountains to save his princess from a terrible villain. There wasn't enough money in the family to buy you new toys, so Ajax carved out a wooden kitten and gifted it to you. You didn't get presents very often, so you were very happy to get such an ineptly made toy. All the cuts and wounds from thorns healed immediately after Ajax had seen a smile blooming on your face and felt you hugging him. He was the only one who cared about you, and Ajax could tell that he raised you and replaced you both parents. 

You loved him more than any other relatives and had a natural girlish desire to marry your older brother after growing up. It didn't trouble Ajax at all – he played your silly game gladly, never seeing a problem in it. He knew it would end soon, but for now, he kept entertaining you by telling you stories about beautiful brides and true love they had for their grooms.

Ajax felt strange by the fact that he was treated like a beloved son by mother, but you were a stranger to your own family. Maybe because of this you looked different from everyone, and the difference in your appearance was showing clearly with every year: your exceptionally noble features and inborn elegance and grace of moves didn't match the family's dense bodies with broad shoulders and strong limbs. You were such an angelic, precious little creature that Ajax couldn't even imagine you drawing water on your scrawny shoulders or damaging your subtle palms with cleaning and sewing. With every year of your life, you became more dreamy and quiet; youthful charm was slowly taking over children's carelessness. But the one special thing about your behavior had never changed: you had always run to hug Ajax every time he went home.

You didn't attend school, so Ajax taught you to read and count, he gave you his textbooks, and tried to explain everything he had known – he wasn't a disciplined student and his knowledge was rather average, as he was oriented on providing for his family and working as a horseman at noble's lands. Ajax did his best to teach you important moral things: piety, love for your homeland, and many others — but for a rowdy teenager like him, it was an unbearable responsibility. For your own good, you were a fast learner, and soon enough, you had the same level of knowledge as Ajax and didn't need his moral guidance. The back room became your favorite place, and you spent hours here, searching for an interesting book or a newspaper with a catchy title to read and learn something new. 

Your family was shorthanded, and your parents had to let you leave the house to shovel snow, clean up the kennels, and help Ajax on the stable. Guests almost never visited your parents. If they did, they had to notify them and receive permission – and during friendly gatherings you were hiding in your room by order of father. You didn't question such a strange behavior of your parents: you thought it was normal and everyone lived like this.

You had domestic duties like cooking or mopping floors mostly, but sometimes Ajax taught you how to take care of horses. He made you friends with the calmest and the most sociable one – you were afraid of it at first but the way the old horse ate treats from your palm, tickling your skin with its lips, helped you to forget all your fears. The horse's name was Iskorka, and it gladly took you on its back, admitting you as its equestrian. Iskorka and many other horses liked Ajax, as he was a good ostler. They had always had enough hay and treats, and Ajax bathed them carefully, brushed their manes, cleaned and trimmed their hooves regularly. Their stalls had always been cleaned, and not a mess could be found on the stable – that's why horses from your family were popular between villagers and people bought them gladly. It was a strong, hardy, and sociable breed, so they were used both in field work and riding. A true pride of the family. 

Ajax's favorite routine was breaking wild horses: he adored the adrenaline and sense of danger that made his body cover with shivers. Ajax got hurt a lot of times during the process and wasn't afraid of wounds or any critical situation that could happen. Sometimes you were lucky enough to see him in these moments: it was surprising for you to watch your gentle and kind brother acting so powerful and aggressive as the thrill blurred his mind. The act of dominance Ajax was showing against a wild animal didn't match the way he behaved with you, and you didn't want to see him like this. For your childish mind, Ajax was the epitome of a good person, so you refused to see him doing such cruel things because you considered them bad. He explained to you why he had to do this and how much it meant for family's sake, but you didn't understand it – you were overexcited from the new horizons of your existence and your infant senses couldn't focus on such complicated things like family's sake and need.

You were lucky enough not to face your father's punishments: you learned from the experience of others, and during interactions with him, you didn't make any mistakes. Any request of his you completed as best as you could and right in time – it was enough to satisfy him and make him leave you just with a couple of insults (a "wuss" was his favorite one towards you). All your childhood (the biggest part of which you forgot by the time you reached your teenage years) and adolescence you spend as a ghost of your own house: your father remembered about you rarely but when he did, he was watching after you with a heavy pensive gaze that made you walk on your tiptoes and forced you to live somewhere on the background not to burden him. You had never stayed in his presence for too long: it hurt you to realize that he was irritated by you, but you had seen a lot of times how Ajax was punished for no reason, so you preferred to run away while it was safe. Every time you heard the nasty whipping sound of a rod striking the skin and your brother's muffled grunt, you cried silently and waited until the end of the execution to run to your brother's room and help him treat his wounds. 

Mother had never visited Ajax after punishments: she was busy calming Teucer, Anthon, and Tonia from crying, as all three of them were afraid to take Ajax's place. It was strange for you to understand that Ajax and you weren't kids anymore. Your childhood passed by like a disturbing dream: it was fast and unstoppable, and all the warm memories about it were related to Ajax only. He was your knight from fairytales; you trusted him with all your secrets and thoughts. Ajax helped you endure not only confrontations with your family but the feminine hardships of growing up too: when your first menstruation started, your mother had just thrown clean clothes at you and shamed you for being disgusting. She left you crying with no pity, shook your hand off of her dress roughly as you caught her by its hem to stop her and ask for forgiveness – you didn't want to be disgusting and make her angry because of this. Ajax had to explain to you what was happening to your body. Without confusion, with a stern, dry voice, he just stated the fact – now you were a maiden, and soon you would reach marriage age. 

It was hard not to notice that from this moment Ajax stopped treating you like a child. For him you were an adult now – and he took you with respect and counted on you to gain wisdom on how to be a homemaker. Now, it was your turn to prepare food for the family, babysit younger siblings, and provide them with parental care. Ajax didn't accept your help on the stable anymore and didn't let you do man's work that required physical strength. Ajax gave you the warmest clothes and blankets, appealed to you to watch after your health. 

Ajax had taught you that he would always be on your side. He taught you to trust him and never rebel against him – your older brother had known what was best for you, and you agreed with him: he was responsible for you, in Snezhnaya it was an unspoken rule which came from one generation to another without doubts. You asked him for advice numerous times, and he was always right. He was the only man who could touch you, the only one to solve your every problem, the only one to teach you how to be a good woman and wife. He was your support, and he had never demanded a reward from you but you gave him all your love and adoration because he deserved it, you believed. No one could ever compare to him: your older sisters ignored you, Gleb and Timofey hated you. What about Tonia, Teucer and Anthon, for you they were just young cuckoos who pushed Ajax and you out of the nest. You were jealous of them receiving love from mother: your heart ached every time you saw her giving them kisses on their chubby cheeks. Your stomach twisted painfully every time you caught her nursing Teucer or Anthon, and a yearn for mother's warm hands was taking over you. The only feelings you knew for younger siblings were envy and irritation.

They didn't love you back, as everyone else in the house: they got fussy in your presence, every time you tried to calm them down someone of them started crying and calling for mother's attention. It hurt you even more if Ajax came to help you: they enjoyed his presence; especially Teucer, who was Ajax's new favorite youngest sibling. Every time after another failed attempt to babysit Anthon, Teucer and Tonya you got a nice punch at the back of your head from father and plenty of insults as well. A sad sack, idiot, nitwit and many other offenses were spoken out loud by him so everyone could hear your disgrace. Public humiliation of yours was normalized in the family, so everyone could say anything to you without fear of revenge. 

You couldn't fight back. Words were stuck in your throat and you just kept silent every time your family acted unfairly with you. Whenever you started crying from such a rough treatment, you were shamed by mother for overreacting and being dramatic. You craved for her attention, as every child you wanted to be noticed and communicated with, but the forming sense of human dignity didn't let you humiliate yourself by acting needy. You dreamed of her soft hands hugging you gently and pressing you to her thick figure, that smelled like bakery and freshness. But instead, you found yourself in the dusty backrooms of the house, hugged by Ajax, roughly and clumsily: never taught how to properly comfort someone, he was pressing you to his chest as hard as he could, so you could feel how sorry for you he was. His calloused, coarse hands were patting you on your head and wiping tears off of your face. Unlike your mother, Ajax smelled strongly with sweat and his hands had a subtle stench of fish that he was gutting for dinner.

Ajax tried his best to cheer on you. Deep inside his soul he saved the childish sentimentality, so he felt extremely guilty for you and wanted to make up for his siblings' behavior. Ajax promised you that he would take you out of this hell: he wanted to live in the city and vowed to you the sweetest life with happiness and joy. He knew that all his promises were impossible to complete and was left helpless, as he had nothing else to offer you instead. Ajax lost his ardor long ago when he got a taste of an adult life. He realized quickly that he would never make enough money to buy his family out, and humbled himself into being a good peasant, but still he was dreaming of being free, and gave your mind the sweet drug of dreams that would never come true. Ajax wished he wasn't so timid. He wanted life to give him an opportunity to become stronger and braver – and despite all his current beliefs, he felt that something was waiting for him in the future, something hopeful and great…

[520promotions]

STRONG MUSIC FESTIVAL is bringing the rage back for year 2!

STRONG MUSIC FESTIVAL is bringing the rage back for year 2!

iKon Presents has become a staple name in Las Vegas. When it comes to Urban concerts and events in the Entertainment Capital of the World. Last year the company announced their long awaited annual Hip Hop festival. Last year’s line up included Trippie Redd, Tory Lanez, Lil Yachty, Lil Tecca, & more. This year’s line up is supposed to top that and be their best event to date. Stay tuned for more…

[seokwoosmole]

Hoping and praying for all the best for Hanbin right now❤️❤️❤️

[insanelycrazymaro]

 Ikon Donghyuk (DK):  

 Miss you iKONIC

Sources (s) 

[kimhanbin-be-bae]

#WeLoveYouHanbin

iKONICS are with you.

[mariamagnolia]

Yall wait for all of my disrespected and disregarded babies to join P nation and eat you all alive.

😢👊

[byungchxnnie]

So apparently someone found Hanbin crying in Han River???

[0omisakio0]

Nein.

[jisungmark]

Hi! I know you’re mostly a nsfw blog but I was wondering if I could get something more on the fluffy side with Hanbin? I’m missing him a little extra today.. love your writing xx

it’s always okay to request things outside of nsfw content. just know he misses you as well love, try to keep your head up and stay strong for him. thank you so much!

you propped yourself up on your elbows as you watched him sleep. it was almost noon and you were bored. his eyelashes fluttered and his lips slightly fell open as he breathed out. you purposely kept trying to make noises to wake him up. coughing, sighing, sneezing, anything you could think of. every time he moved a bit, you quickly laid back down to pretend you were sleep. he just wasn’t ready to get up and that realization made you upset. you sat up fully and sat with your legs crossed. you sighed again as you contemplated what to do. before you could jump on him like you decided, he popped up and attacked you with a hug. you screamed, completely terrified of his random outburst. he straddled your waist as he looked down at your scared expression. you playfully smacked his arm as you pouted, telling him that he scared you. he rolled his eyes before pecking your forehead. he said you’ve been trying to wake him up for a while and now that he’s up it’s a problem? a soft frown danced across his lips. you quickly shook your head no and tried to sit up. his weight was too much on you though so you struggled and he laughed at you. you shot him a glare as he crawled off of you. he grabbed the back of your head and pulled you forward to connect your lips in a quick kiss. you smiled against his lips, feeling proud that you were able to wake him up. he pulled away and looked at you with a blank expression for a second. you asked him what was wrong and he threw himself backwards ‘falling asleep again’. you stood up on the bed and jumped. his body was flailing around. you continued to jump until he fell off the bed. he let out a hiss when he hit the ground. you jumped back down to a sitting position before asking if he was awake yet,,

[bluejsw852]

Last night, I was watching the episode of Running man in which Hanbin and Jiwon participated. I went to bed and my subconscious made me dream of Hanbin. It was the most beautiful dream of all. Hanbin was performing ONE AND ONLY for a very small group of iKONICS. When I saw him he saw me too and came to me and I instinctly hugged him so tight, and he did it too. I told him that everything is gonna be alright, that I love him and I'll always support him and I'll wait for him no matter what. He just hugged me tighter and told me "Thank you" with a sweet and warm voice.❤

I know it was just a dream but it felt so real, that I felt his warmt when we hugged.

I think I had this dream due to all the feelings I had (and still have) these past weeks, since his departure from YGE and iKON.

I love Hanbin and as an iKONIC I really want him to come back and do what he loves the most: make music.

I feel the need to let him know how much I love him and make him feel safe from all the cruelty and injustices he's going through right now.

I apologize for posting this, but I had the need to express just a little bit of how I feel and how much I miss Hanbin.

[sugashines]

My thoughts on the hanbin situation

What happened to hanbin, has literally broke me into pieces. Instead of YG standing by him and clearing the rumors, he basically turned his back on hanbin. Hearing that it was hanbin choice to leave the group broke me because it's not going to be the same without him. It's the 7 of them not 6, 7 of them makes up IKON.

Honeslty, in my opinion, YG never gave two craps about IKON. When IKON came around, it was like he made them in order to replace bigbang since one of them was heading into the military. I see the way YG treats IKON and hanbin and it honeslty breaks my heart. Their career almost ended once they put out "blingbling". Hanbin had to force YG to let him release "love scenario "(correct me if I'm wrong)

YG been throwing alot of crap at IKON and honestly, its best if they all terminate their contact and find a new company. YG cant manage a group right and its showing it. IKON has such potential, just sadly, their boss is not managing them right.

I hope IKON and hanbin are okay especially during this difficult time.

[meonlightuniverxse]

HANBIN UPDATES

OMG I DUNNO IF TBIS IS TRUE BUT GUYS I WANNA HUG HIM SO TIGHTLY RN 😭

©tto

[yutanakamotyoyo]

hey,

ily ❤️

i hope you’re having a good day

and if you aren’t, what’s wrong?

I’ll be here if you need someone to listen

[yeslordmyking]

NOPE. I didn't wake up early today to learn one of the best leaders and most talented artists in kpop got booted!!! I'm going back to sleep!!! ✌

[0omisakio0]

Time for words of encouragement: we already saved them once, when they lost WIN. We can save them again. We can do it.

[sami-noona]

To all the IKONICS

iKON may not be the ones I listen to the most, but they were the ones to pull me into kpop. I know what happened is unbelievable and the news around the company rn (in terms of leadership) seems like justice, but the story hasn't ended yet. I'll sit with you guys, fingers crossed, waiting to see what Hanbin wants to do.

IKON is a seven member group and don't deserve to be separated this way.