#ill need to fix my sleep schedule i hope this doesnt fuck it up

[electricpurrs]

good meowning everybody i am awake

[lettersformiah]

12:03pm, 29 june

MORNING BUBBA!

you are asleep cause you had the night shift placement so im not gonna see you for a while today but thats okay! im at home again so i can focus on these internals and thats what im about to do! just opening this letter so i can update you on my day as i go instead of bombarding your phone (but maybe that too) yeah so!

this morning i got up finally and had some toast n hashbrowns. hopped on me pc and i fleshed out more of the musical playlist so thatll probably be my fuel for this work for the next like 6 hours. hopefully im somewhat done by the time you get up but yk. i gotta do english >:( its gonna be 2 connections paragraph (~2 hours?) and two responses (~3 1/2-4 hours) english sucks cause it takes so so long but we will see! let u know <3

1:07! hi again bubsy! i finished my connections! all of it! wrote two paragraphs and fixed the hamilton one and did the conclusion! so tomorrow in english should be all good :D im pretty happy with it! now time to do the reponses! brb <3

UPDATTE LMAO 1:48 so! i startred working on the responses and then got distracted bc cash messaged me so. update time with it. i dont need to do it. like deadass do not need to do it at all. apparnelt in week 8 of next term we select either the connections or responses for the 4 credits. we dont get to pick both. just so like u can pick the one with the better grade n all that. but that amount of work is not at all equal wtf? 6 pages vs 4 paragraphs? like bro connections is also so much easier and way more fun to write about. i think im gonna be okay with it since i did and i think its definitely passable if nothing else and thats all i care about so its all good :D hope youre sleeping well. now it is geo time i think. and then maybe im done??

2:10 made a to do list with all the things i gotta do and its mainly just a lot for geo. geo is a lot fo writing but overall not actually that difficult. gonna do it until 3 and then gonna get lunch and do some chores. love you

4:48 almost 5 :O couldnt focus properly on geo, did some boring stuff like fixing the alyout and a teeny bit of writing but it was a bust so i got up and had some lunch, did dishes, had a shower, took my clothes off the rack n put em all away, and made my bed. i think thats all i did. only took like an hour and a half ehehe. im waiting for u to wake up but i know u wont. but also u wont be tired tn if u sleep forever so youll fuck up ur schedule u goof so hopefully that doesnt happen and everytyhing is alg.

but yeah! back at the pc now with a clean room and its nice :D id like to say im totally gonna do more geo n stuff but honestly i just wanna chill ykyk. im happy i did english since that was the most pressing issue i had. but everything else i dont ereally need to do i dont think. so it should be alg. french tomorrow will be shaky at best but honestly what happens happens and im sure ill get an achieved yk. so will be okay i hope. i love you, wake up soon please dear, mwah <3

talk soon,

-mads<3

[lenin-it-to-win-it]

just gonna rant about my health issues to no one in particular for a bit under the cut sooo

im just so fucking tired of being sick all the time like. its been almost 2 years now of actively Going To Doctors And Having Tests Done And Trying To Get A Diagnosis and fucking!!! nothing works!!! and i only have until the end of this coming school year to get it figured out before my insurance runs out otherwise im just fucked!!! because im sure as hell not gonna be able to afford a fucking mri every six months making 10 bucks an hour at some retail shithole but so far ive seen SIX different fucking doctors (not counting 2 ER visits) because they all just keep shuffling me back and forth like “idk maybe have someone else deal with this? weird lol” or like “have you considered that maybe you might have anxiety :) you seem stressed :)” 

like yeah its a fucking stressful situation getting progressively fucking sicker for two goddamn years wasting thousands of dollars and reaching the end of a fucking ticking clock because almost every doctor ive seen is an incompetent jackass who does NOTHING but waste my time and money and then fucking condescend to me about anxiety like!!! yeah i probably DO have anxiety and depression and autism and what the fuck ever else but this isnt THAT 

and the literal ONE TIME i had ANY treatment that worked AT ALL helping with my eye spasms (literally One of Many Symptoms that i deal with on a fucking daily basis that still manages to completely fuck up my life) is something i cant take anymore because it damaged my fucking eyes!!! possibly permanently!!! i already HAD issues wtih light sensitivity that this medicine made WAYYY fucking worse and guess whats one of the WORST things at setting off my eye spasms??? anything to do with fucking light so YEAH thANKS for that @ the opthalmologist who had me take those damn eye drops for two months straight, which other neuro opthalmologist said was bullshit when i saw her again, not that im letting HER off the hook either since she REFERRED me to that incompetent bitch in the first place and then had NO solution other than “hm well you definitely shouldnt take that medicine again, but theres literally No Other Treatment, maybe blow another $400 in a few months to come see me again so i can continue to Not Help You In Any Way”

and its getting wORSE ALL THE TIME!!! and the best thing doctors can think of is “hm well maybe wait a bit to see if it gets worse? and maybe then we’ll know what it is?” well its getting worse!!!! but they still dont seem to know what it is!!! like at first it was just my vision going out of focus for a few seconds at a time, then it was a few minutes, then i was having visual distortion (or maybe hallucinations? who knows! certainly not any of the fucking doctors ive seen!), then awful fucking eye strain headaches, then spasms in my neck, then my jaw, then my arms, then my legs, now all fucking over, and now i get sick and dizzy just by moving my HEAD too far or too suddenly and like at work earlier today i was just stumbling around for two hours bc there was too much pressure in my head and everything felt tilted and i was just grabbing at every surface trying not to fall with my head like on my shoulder bc keeping my neck straight was too fucking hard and i swear to fuckign god a couple nights ago there was this weird buzzing on the side of my face??? and like it felt like my mouth was moving slower than it should??? but i dont even KNOW if thats a Real SymptomTM or if i was just freaked out and tired and imagining things or if i really am just getting to be a paranoid delusional nutcase about my health because every little thing terrifies me at this point, like ive been coughing for a couple weeks and instead of being like “oh its a bad cold” im like “maybe now my immune systems fucked up too maybe this is A New Symptom” i literally cant tell anymore i have no fucking idea 

and i dont WANT to think about all this All The Fucking Time but i do!!!!! i literally HAVE to bc it affects my life in every fucking possible way and i cant escape it like even rn the light from the fuckign computer is hurting my eyes and i cant even see what im typing half the time bc my eyes keep going out of focus and my teeth keep chattering and my head hurts or ill go to get a drink of water but then just Stand there for a few minutes bc i dont trust myself to hold a cup full of water and not spill it bc im having spasms or ill have to wear sunglasses at the dinner table bc my fucking idiot asshole dad got the BRIGHTEST possible lightbulbs for the dining room and i physically cant stand them 

or like im already dreading having to explain all this shit to my professors this semester about how like “oh so i probably wont be able to keep up with daily readings, especialyl not if theyre on physical paper and i cant scale up the text because my eyes just spontaneously stop working and i cant read..... and ill need a computer to take notes, i can Usually hold a pencil but one time i had a spasm in class and flung it across the room and it was super embarrassing and i ltierally skipped that class for weeks because of it so id really rather not deal with that again.... and even though im a fuckign AMAZING public speaker like, state champion debate level public speaking, ill still probably get super fucking nervous and suck at any kind of in class presentation bc ill just be thinking about my spasms the whole time and wont be able to focus....... and ill have to wear sunglasses all the time too so hopefully thats not an issue........ and also ill probably miss a lot of class bc whether or not i can handle walking half a mile Varies Wildly from day to day and also i have a lot of doctors appointments and sometimes im on medicine that completely ruins my sleep schedule so you know... looking forward to a great semester, hope i dont completely fail your class” 

and i have fuckign work tomorrow where ill have to deal with trying to pretend like even the most minor tasks arent painful and difficult and deal with awful btichy entitled customers complaining that im not SMILEY enough for you like the motherfucker who asked me how i was and i said fine and he was like “jUuUUuuuST fINE” like shut the everlasting FUCK UP with that ive met my obligation leave me ALONE my day isnt FINE im in awful pain and i HATE you and everyone like you or ill have to deal with my coworkers giving me weird looks while im having spasms or outright MOCKING me for them like the asshole that called me TWITCH (and a whore, but thats Another Fucking Story) or just not knowing how to deal and making bad taste jokes like when my teeth are chattering bc I Physically Cant Make It Stop like “haha are you chewing an invisible piece of gum lol” like no bitch im a neurological nightmare and my brain doesnt work and im Barely Holding Together would you PLEASE shut the fuck up 

and most of the time i just feel like everyone thinks im a fucking freak like even just sitting in the waiting room to see the neurologist or opthalmologist or whatever and everyone else there is Old and im the only person even remotely close to my age there and even the doctors dont seem to take me that seriously bc of it like “oh shes young, cant be that bad, all these old people out here are gonna die like tomorrow so why worry about this girl, its probably just anxiety from being on her period or having a test to study for lol” like straight up when the movement disorder neurologist was examining me she was like “im not used to seeing anyone this young or healthy’ and i know she meant it relatively speaking but like!!! clearly im NOT healthy or i wouldnt BE here like obviously something is wrong with me and its ruining my life and its serious and id like it fixed thanks!!!!! 

and i feel like No One Gets It like, obviously there are people wayyyy sicker than i am who suffer a lot more or people in similar situations but like. i dont Personally Know someone like that i can just talk to and like, of course i have friends who can Listen but.................................. theres a difference from being able to listen and being able to actually Understand and sometimes you just cant Get It unless youve gone through it like i really dont think ANYONE in my life has any idea how serious this is or how much it affects me and i know i cant expect everyone to just Always Think Of My IssuesTM but little things!!! like maybe NOT having the brighest possible lightbulbs in the dining room!!!! my brother NOT having his birthday party at dave and busters, which i had TONS of spasms at last time i went (and im even worse now!) AND the staff gave me shit about wearing sunglasses so now im nervous about That too or just! idk! people respecting and listening to me when i tell them that i Cant Do Something or that Doing That Thing Hurts and not just brushing me off or telling me im overreacting and then getting all shocked pikachu face when their dumbassery actually physically HURTS me and i get pissed with them for it!!!!

i dont think anyone gets how much it scares me all the time or how its Always on my mind and i literally cant think about anything else like. this could be the rest of my life. this could end my life. i dont know what i have. i might get diagnosed in the next month and have it completely cured, i might get a diagnosis and still be sick forever, i might not find out until its too late and i have LITERALLY NO FUCKING IDEA WHICH ONE!!!! ITS GREAT!!!!!!!! WELCOME TO MY LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!

[courtinggrievances]

[[I’m gonna... take this time to put up a log kk had with eri this morning. this was rushedly formatted and it took me a bit to figure out how, so there might be some random < p > or something in there

PS: any formatting we did have from the discord got... erased so.... that sucks but you’ll get the point, even if they both get a bit, uh, runon? we tried to figure out a solution but right now i want to sacrifice quality for speed cause i need to sleep and we can fix it later if we really gotta]]

eridan | mags - Today at 7:37

so uh hey kar howwvve you been

Court (Kam) - Today at 7:42

HEY! NOT TERRIBLY TERRIBLE, IF I'M HONEST. IT'S NOT GETTING ANY COLDER, AND THE DRONES HAVEN'T CAUGHT US YET, SO THERE'S THAT.

eridan | mags - Today at 7:43

that doesnt relievve me all that much if im bein honest but alright i guess at least theres that just try and not get killed alright

Court (Kam) - Today at 7:43

HEY, WE'RE THINKING THE SAME THING HERE. I MEAN, I'M NOT RELIEVED AT ALL, BUT IF ANYTHING ELSE, I'VE STILL GOT MY LIFE, HAHA. FUCK, YOU KNOW I'M LITERALLY A FUGITIVE RIGHT? LIKE IF I WAS ON YOUR ALTERNIA, HOW LONG DO YOU THINK IT'D BE FOR A DRONE TO MATCH MY PROFILE UP IN THE DATABANKS AND SWOOP DOWN TO CARRY ME OFF IN ITS GRUBBY LITTLE CLAWS? LIKE I'LL TRY, BUT HEY. NO PROMISES.

eridan | mags - Today at 7:45

yeah ill nevver bring you to alternia thats for sure

Court (Kam) - Today at 7:45

I'M ACTUALLY KIND OF LOOKING FORWARD TO THE EARTH TRIP, HONESTLY. I'VE BEEN DOING "RESEARCH". IS IT TRUE THE SUN DOESN'T BURN YOUR SKIN THERE???? WHAT DO THE HUMANS DO AT NIGHT? IS IT TOO COLD, THEN, FOR THEM TO THRIVE? IS THAT WHEN THEY SLEEP, OR IS THAT WHEN THEY GET THE MOST OF THEIR WORK DONE?

eridan | mags - Today at 7:47

god you really are excited for it huh

Court (Kam) - Today at 7:48

FAR BE IT FROM ME TO SHOW ACTUAL EXCITEMENT, YOU KNOW. HEH. DEFINITELY, THOUGH. WHY SHOULD I NOT BE? I'M SPENDING TIME IN A NON-MURDEROUS PLACE WITH AN ACTUAL, HONEST TO GOD, NON-MURDEROUS FRIEND. LIKE HOLY ACTUAL FUCK, THAT DOESN'T HAPPEN OFTEN ENOUGH. EXCITED? EVERYTIME I THINK ABOUT IT I KIND OF JUST... THROW MY HANDS IN THE AIR. WHAT AM I GONNA DO? I GOT NO FUCKING CLUE. BUT IT'LL BE GOOD, I'M SURE.

eridan | mags - Today at 7:50

wwell good ill try my best to make it good for you so you get to havve a fuckin break for once but yeah its kinda flipped on earth wwhich i still cant get used to to be honest i havve the wworst sleepin problems the sun feels great there but i still cant bring myself to sleep normally at night

Court (Kam) - Today at 7:51

ALLOW ME TO SHOW A SMIDGEN OF CONCERN AND CARE FOR YOU BUT, HEY, I DON'T CARE IF WE DON'T EVEN LEAVE YOUR HIVE. I'LL RAID YOUR FOOD STORAGE BLOCK AND CRASH ON THE COUCH AND MAYBE WATCH YOU DO SHIT AND WE'LL BE GOOD. HELL, IT FEELS "GREAT"? CAN'T WAIT TO FIND OUT WHAT THAT FEELS LIKE. OUR SCHEDULES ARE KIND OF FLIPPED ANYWAYS, HONESTLY. WE TRAVEL DURING THE DAY A LOT, BECAUSE MOST TROLLS (ORPHANERS AND THE LIKE,) WON'T TRAVEL DURING DAY, SO WE GET A HEADSTART ON THEM. CAN'T OUTRUN THE DRONES THOUGH. MISERABLE EXCUSES FOR ORGANICS. JUST HAVE TO HOPE THEY DON'T CHASE US, DOESN'T SEEM LIKE IT SO FAR. I THINK WE LOST MOST OF THEM WHEN THEY RAIDED KANAYA'S HIVE AND RAZED IT TO THE GROUND? BACK WHEN I GOT MY SECOND CONCUSSION... OR FIRST, I'M NOT SURE, THAT PART IS KIND OF. BLURRY. IT WAS A LOT OF WAITING IN A DARK, WATERY CAVE. NO, SECOND, ACTUALLY. OR MAYBE, AN EXCARBATION OF THE FIRST, BECAUSE I GOT THAT ONE WHEN I GOT SLAMMED INTO A WALL BY A DRONE, EARLIER THAT... WEEK? LIKE THREE CYCLES BEFORE THE HIVE-RAZING, AND THEN I GOT HIT IN THE HEAD AGAIN WHEN WE WENT DOWN THE ROCKY WATER SLIDE OF DEATH WHEN THE DRONES ATTACKED THE HIVE. OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT. LIKE I SAID. BLURRY.

eridan | mags - Today at 7:56

ok this is a lot first off wwere absolutely gonna go outside and do cool shit ill showw you the city and stuff like theres this space needle that ivve honestly nevver been on evven though ivve been livvin here for a wwhile but you should see it its like a huge towwer wwhere you can see the entire city from its supposed to be real pretty but its also real pricey so i wwas nevver interested second howw the fuck do you evven travvel at day dont you get burns or anythin isnt that shit dangerous i mean yeah its dangerous already for you to travvel at night but like i dont knoww be safe ok readin shit like this makes me wwanna practise usin my rifle again honestly

Court (Kam) - Today at 7:59

IT WAS WORSE WHEN WE HAD TO TRAVEL THROUGH THE DESERT.

Court (Kam) - Today at 8:01

I BOUGHT REALLY NICE SUN GEAR BEFORE HAND, AND I ALREADY HAD MOST OF MY BLISTERS IN THE TWO-HOUR TREK TO TEMP'S HIVE BEFOREHAND. I GUESS, ONCE YOU BLISTER UP ENOUGH, YOUR SKIN GETS USED TO IT. THEN YOU JUST SWEAT TO DEATH. I'M STILL 99% SURE WE'VE ALL SHORTENED OUR LIFESPANS BY SOME DEGREE, THOUGH. UNFORTUNATE BUT COULDN'T BE HELPED. BURNS GET CAUSED BY THE CONTACT OF THE HEATSOURCE TO YOUR SKIN- IF YOU GET TOO HOT, YOU BAKE AND BLISTER UP BEFORE YOU ACTUALLY BURN, WITHOUT ACTUAL EXPOSURE TO THE RAYS OF THE SUN, LIKE WHEN YOU WEAR HEAT GEAR. WITHOUT IT, OH YEAH. HELL YEAH, YOU ABSOLUTELY BURN AND IT'S HORRIFIC, BUT WE'RE ALL PAST THAT POINT. WE'VE BEEN ON THE ROAD FOR.... ALMOST HALF A SWEEP? WE TRY TO FIND SHADE WHERE WE CAN. RIGHT NOW IT'S COLD AND PATCHY SNOW SOMETIMES, WHEN THE SUN ISN'T OUT. IT'S SOMEWHAT TOLERABLE THIS FAR NORTH, THE SUN I MEAN.

eridan | mags - Today at 8:06

howw the fuck are you not dead yet holy shit

Court (Kam) - Today at 8:06

TEMP REFERS TO ME AS A "BRICK WALL SHITHOUSE".

eridan | mags - Today at 8:06

pretty accurate can i ask you somethin though howw did all of this start the runnin i mean

Court (Kam) - Today at 8:15

I ACTUALLY PASSED OUT ONCE IN THE DESERT, WHILE WE WERE TRAVELING TO KANAYA'S HIVE, AND TEMP HAD TO CARRY ME. ALSO, YEAH. THIS IS TOP SECRET SHIT, OKAY?

eridan | mags - Today at 8:16

god

Court (Kam) - Today at 8:16

DON'T JUST GO TELLING THIS SHIT TO JUST ANYONE.

eridan | mags - Today at 8:16

i dont evven knoww wwho to tell honestly

Court (Kam) - Today at 8:16

I GUESS TEMP PINGED HER BATTLESHIP.

eridan | mags - Today at 8:16

they cant really do much wwith this information

Court (Kam) - Today at 8:17

GOT EVERYTHING. LOCATION COORDINATES, CABIN ROSTER, EVEN THE FUCKING MENU FOR THE FOOD LINE. ANNNDD I GUESS TEMP FIGURED OUT HIS ANCESTOR IS THE UNWILLING PILOT FOR THAT SHIP. OBVIOUSLY SHE DIDN'T LIKE THAT SOMEONE GOT THROUGH THE SECURITY ON HER SHIP. BUT BEFORE SHE DID ANYTHING, TEMP CAME TO ME, AND I NOT-SO-LIGHTLY SUGGESTED WE LEAVE TOWN. AS WE LEFT HIS HIVESTEM, WE SAW THE GAGGLE OF HIGHBLOODS IN UNIFORM FORCING ALL THE PSIONS THEY COULD FIND OUT OF EVERY BLOCK IN THE NEARBY VICINITY AND INTO CHAINS. TEMP DIDN'T THINK SHE WOULD BE THAT QUICK IN PINPOINTING HIS LOCATION BUT I FUCKING KNEW BETTER. ANYWAY, HE COULDN'T SIT WITH THE IDEA THAT HE'D CAUSED THESE THIRTY-SOMETHING PSIONIC TROLLS TO BECOME ENSLAVED OR TO REACH AN EARLY ASCENSION AND RITES OR WHATEVER, SO I BASICALLY WENT IN AND KNOCKED THE SHIT OUT OF SOME OF THE FUCKS, BROKE THE BINDINGS, AND JUST FUCKING RAN. BUT THEN THEY KNEW WHAT I LOOKED LIKE, SO WE WERE BOTH RUNNING FROM HER AND FROM THE LOCALS.

eridan | mags - Today at 8:23

so basically it wwas your mate bein a curious idiot that got you into this situation

Court (Kam) - Today at 8:23

WE WENT BACK TO MY HIVE, RAIDED MY SHIT, AND THEN WE CROSSED THE CITY IN THE SEWERS FOR THE DAY AND THEN HEADED OUT OF TOWN, STAYED AT A MOTEL FOR A FEW NIGHTS, AND HEADED OUT TO THE DESERT, AND THERE'S JUST A BUNCH OF BULLSHIT I'D RATHER NOT TALK ABOUT FROM THERE. IT'S MOSTLY BULLSHIT ABOUT THE COVERUP OF WHAT I'M DUBBING THE ANCESTRAL REVOLT AND THE WRONGFUL IMPRISONMENT AND SLAUGHTER OF THOSE WHO PARTICIPATED IN IT. TEMP'S JUST ALL WOUND UP BECAUSE HIS ANCESTOR IS STILL ALIVE AND SUFFERING AND GOD. I MEAN DIP'S ALL WELL AND GOOD, HE'S GOTTEN US OUT OF A FEW PICKLES SO FAR. BUT MESSAGES ARE SPARSE, AND IT WORRIES TEMP, I GUESS. BUT YEAH, BASICALLY.

eridan | mags - Today at 8:25

so wwhats your plan are you just gonna run forevver

Court (Kam) - Today at 8:26

DO YOU WANT THE LONG ANSWER OR THE SHORT ONE.

eridan | mags - Today at 8:26

givve me the long one im invvested

Court (Kam) - Today at 8:27

WE JUST RECENTLY LEARNED THAT SHE'S CALLING ALL THE PSIONS TO HER IN A CLASS-ACT LEVEL OF BULLSHIT, EVERY SINGLE!! FUCKING!! PSION!! INTERPLANETARY SHIPPING IS HALTED, SHE'S LAID SIEGE TO ALTERNIA ITSELF IF WE CAN'T GET THE RESOURCES WE NEED FROM OTHER PLANETS EFFECTIVELY. SHE'S REARRANGED THE CLASSES OF THE STELLAR-CLASS PSIONS AND BASICALLY RESTRUCTURED THE ENTIRE ALTERNIAN TRANSGALACTIC FLEET'S INFRASTRUCTURE JUST TO KEEP DIPSHIT ALIVE. SO RIGHT NOW, WE'RE SCRAMBLING TO GET THE MESSAGE OUT. ANYONE WITH POWER NEEDS TO GET OUT OF THEIR HIVES AND GET UNDERGROUND BEFORE THEY GET BROUGHT UP INTO THE STARS TO BE USED UP AND THROWN AWAY. SHE'S EVEN TAKING EGGS, IF DIPSHIT IS TO BE BELIEVED. NO PSIONICS ARE TO BE LEFT ON ALTERNIA, AND EVERYWHERE ELSE THEY'RE ABOUT TO BECOME A CLASS A SCARCE RESOURCE.

eridan | mags - Today at 8:29

wwho the fuck evven is that dipshit youre talkin about

Court (Kam) - Today at 8:29

WHICH MEANS TEMP AND AA JUST BECAME SUPER VALUABLE TO ANYONE LOOKING. HE'S HER PILOT, THE ONE TEMP CONTACTED. I'D SAY HIS PROPER TITLE BUT I'VE GOT TO BE CAREFUL WITH BUZZWORDS.

eridan | mags - Today at 8:30

wwell alright

Court (Kam) - Today at 8:30

ANYWAY! SO WE'RE TRYING TO GET THE WORD OUT TO HIGHBLOODS ABOUT THIS CLASS A RESOURCE THING, SO THEY WANT TO KEEP THEIR PSIONICS ON THE PLANET, AND TO THE REST, TO KEEP HIDDEN. ANYWHERE IS BETTER, BUT IF THEY GET INTO ORBIT, THEY'RE BASICALLY DEAD IN THE WATER. IT'S THE GENOCIDE OF AN ENTIRE FUCKING CLASS, IT'S WHAT SHE'S TRYING TO DO, ALL TO KEEP HER PRIZE FROM SAID ANCESTRAL REVOLT. ANYWAY!! MY PERSONAL GOAL IS TO LEARN MORE ABOUT MY OWN ANCESTOR AND HOW HE TIED INTO ALL THIS, BUT I GUESS WE'VE GOT MORE IMPORTANT THINGS TO PLAN, LIKE HOW WE'RE GOING TO GET NEWS LIKE THIS SHIT OUT ON A MASS SCALE. I'M THINKING OF GETTING SOME SORT OF RADIO TRANSMITTER AND GETTING THE WORD OUT FOR OUR STATION NUMBERS OR WHATEVER. LONG TERM, TEMP WANTS TO FREE DIPSHIT. SO I GUESS WE'RE GONNA BAIT THE EMPRESS PLANETSIDE. AND THEN... I DUNNO. WE'LL FIGHT, I GUESS. SHE'S SO FAR OUT, THOUGH, THAT'S THE PROBLEM.

eridan | mags - Today at 8:34

do you really actually think youvve got a chance against the condesce

Court (Kam) - Today at 8:34

IT'LL TAKE /SWEEPS/ TO BRING HER THIS WAY, PROBABLY, UNLESS SHE PUTS DIPSHIT AT RISK, AND TEMP DOESN'T WANT THAT AND NEITHER DO I. MAYBE NOT NOW, BUT BY THE TIME SHE GETS HERE? I'M HOPING. I MEAN, IF ALL ELSE FAILS, I'LL STAND IN THE DIRECT SUNLIGHT IN MIDDAY, WITH ALL MY RESISTANCE TO IT, AND CHALLENGE HER OUT? HAHAH. ... HONESTLY...? I THINK MY PRIORITIES LIE MORE WITH THE REST OF ALTERNIA. TEMP CAN WORRY ABOUT DIPSHIT ALL HE WANTS. BUT FOR THE REST OF US? I THINK THAT'S GOING TO BE MY MAIN CONCERN. ALL INTERPLANETARY SHIPPING IS GOING TO STOP FOR A WHILE- WE'RE SWITCHING TO FOSSIL FUELS FOR FUCKS SAKE!! SO RESOURCES ARE ABOUT TO BECOME EXTREMELY RARE, AND I NEED TO STOCK UP AND MAKE SURE WE HAVE WHAT WE NEED TO SURVIVE THE NEXT FEW MONTHS. I'VE ALREADY PUT THROUGH MY ORDER THROUGH SOME OF MY LESS REPUTABLE CONTACTS, SO I THINK WE'LL BE FINE, BUT IT'LL BE ROUGH, PROBABLY. SO THAT'S THE LONG VERSION OF THE MAIN PLAN.

eridan | mags - Today at 8:39

this is this is fuckin stupid howw can you think you can change somethin wwhy do you think its YOUR job to help evveryone your biggest concern should be that you and maybe youre friends are safe like fuck the rest they nevver did anythin FOR you and i doubt they evver wwill just get out of this fuckin place this plan is bound to fail and youll pay wwith your fuckin life

Court (Kam) - Today at 8:40

YOU MISUNDERSTAND ME, DAC. I DON'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT ANYONE BESIDES MY GROUP, AND THE PEOPLE MY GROUP CARES ABOUT. TEMP HAPPENS TO CARE ABOUT THE CODEJOCKEYS, THE ONES I SAVED EARLIER FROM THE HIGHBLOOD ROUNDUP? AND I CARE ABOUT FAVORS. YOU GIVE ENOUGH INFORMATION OUT, PEOPLE ARE GONNA WANT TO KEEP YOU AROUND. IT'S... INSURANCE. DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME. WE NEED A NETWORK.

eridan | mags - Today at 8:42

wwell then fuckin knock that care out of him and get off this stupid fuckin planet before you actually die you dont need a netwwork you need a safe place

Court (Kam) - Today at 8:42

WE NEED PLACES TO STAY, THINGS TO EAT, PLACES TO RUN, AND YOU CAN'T GET THAT WITHOUT GIVING SOMETHING.

eridan | mags - Today at 8:42

this is not goin to wwork do you understand me

Court (Kam) - Today at 8:42

DAC. I HEAR YOU LOUD AND CLEAR, BUT I LOVE HIM, AND I'M GOING TO STAND WITH HIM.

eridan | mags - Today at 8:43

youre goin to die for it both of you

Court (Kam) - Today at 8:43

I MAY WANT TO GET THE HELL OUT OF DODGE A WHOLE HELL OF A LOT MORE THAN YOU THINK. BUT HE WON'T. HE'S HERE FOR THE LONG HAUL, AND I... I THINK HE CAN DO IT.

eridan | mags - Today at 8:43

if you really cared about your mate youd get him to safety

Court (Kam) - Today at 8:43

BUT HE NEEDS SOMEONE TO BE BY HIS SIDE. DON'T SEND ME ON A GUILT TRIP, BECAUSE I'VE BEEN THERE ALREADY, I TRIED THAT. I KNOCKED HIM OUT SO HE WOULDN'T FIGHT THE DRONES, AND SENT HIM DOWN THE WATERY ROCK SLIDE OF DEATH SO HE WOULD SURVIVE AND I WOULD FIGHT THEM.

eridan | mags - Today at 8:44

try harder maybe

Court (Kam) - Today at 8:44

HE JUST GOT MAD AT ME.

eridan | mags - Today at 8:44

temp is insane

Court (Kam) - Today at 8:45

YEAH, HE IS. BUT I BELIEVE IN HIM ANYWAY.

eridan | mags - Today at 8:45

yeah cause youre goddamn stupid

Court (Kam) - Today at 8:45

I'D DO THAT FOR ALL OF MY FRIENDS.

eridan | mags - Today at 8:45

stupid is wwhat you are both of you

Court (Kam) - Today at 8:45

INCLUDING YOU, YOU KNOW. ALL YOU'RE DOING IS MAKING ME FEEL BAD, AND IT'S NOT GOING TO YEILD ANY RESULTS OTHER THAN "I CAN'T TRUST DAC WITH PERSONAL INFORMATION".

eridan | mags - Today at 8:46

im makin you feel bad cause i i nevvermind

Court (Kam) - Today at 8:48

I MEAN... I WANT TO BE ABLE TO TELL YOU SHIT WHEN YOU ASK, BUT I DON'T WANT TO BE ABLE TO FEEL LIKE YOU'RE JUST GOING TO TELL ME THAT WHAT I FEEL IS STUPID AND THAT I'M STUPID. BECAUSE THAT'S NOT A GOOD FEELING, KNOWING I'VE GOT TO DO THIS SHIT REGARDLESS, BECAUSE HE'S MY FRIEND AND... GOD, THE LENGTHS OF SHIT I'LL GO TO FOR HIM, I DON'T THINK YOU UNDERSTAND. IT JUST DOESN'T FEEL GOOD IF I TELL YOU SOMETHING AND YOU TELL ME THAT IT'S DUMB AND POINTLESS. I ALREADY KNOW THAT. I DON'T CARE, I'M NOT DOING IT FOR THE POINTLESS ASPECT OF IT, I'M DOING IT BECAUSE MY BEST FUCKING FRIEND, DUMPTRUCK OF SHIT THAT HE MAY BE, NEEDS ME TO. ANYWAY. YOU'RE RIGHT, THOUGH. IT IS STUPID, BUT LIKE I SAID. I DON'T CARE.

eridan | mags - Today at 8:50

yeah alright

Court (Kam) - Today at 8:50

SOMEONE'S GOTTA, AND I GUESS IT'S GOING TO BE ME, BECAUSE WITHOUT ME, TEMP WILL /DEFINITELY/ DIE. KANAYA MIGHT MAKE IT ON HER OWN, BUT SHE'S STILL TOO SECLUSIVE TO KNOW HOW TO HANDLE A BIG CITY, SAME WITH TEMP. BOTH OF THEM COULDN'T WEASEL THEIR WAY INTO AN UNDERGROUND FIGHTING RING IF THEY TRIED, AND I'D GET IN BASED ON MY LOOKS ALONE.

eridan | mags - Today at 8:53

yeah ok

Court (Kam) - Today at 8:55

TEMP SEES... THE SMALL PARTS OF THE PICTURE. HE'S GOOD WITH CODE AND GOOD WITH KNOWING HOW TO DO THINGS ON A SMALL SCALE. KANAYA'S GOOD WITH WEAPONS AND HAND TO HAND COMBAT, AND SHE'S A JADEBLOOD, WHICH MEANS SHE GETS EASIER ACCESS TO FOOD. PERSONALLY, I KNOW HOW TO FIGHT, AND I KNOW THE DREGS OF THE CITY LIKE THE BACK OF MY CALLOUSED HANDS. I CAN WANT TWO CRATES OF HIGHLY ILLEGAL SHIT AND KNOW EXACTLY WHO TO TALK TO AND WHERE TO GO TO GET THEM, I'VE ALREADY GOT A LITTLE NETWORK IN SOME CITIES WILLING TO BET BIG MONEY ON ME IN THE FIGHTS, AND MAKE SOME GOOD CAEGERS THAT WAY, AND I SEE THE BIG PICTURE. WHERE TO GO, ULTIMATELY. WHAT TO ASK. WHO WE NEED. WE ALL PULL OUR WEIGHT.

eridan | mags - Today at 8:56

alright

Court (Kam) - Today at 8:56

NEXT QUESTION?

eridan | mags - Today at 8:57

howw did you twwo start datin

Court (Kam) - Today at 8:57

I GOT AN ANON MESSAGE ON TUMBLR SAYING HE WANTED TO KISS ME, AND THEN IT KIND OF SNOWBALLED. HE HID FROM HIS FEELINGS FOR A WHILE AND WE TALKED IT OUT, AND I ENDED UP STORMING OUT THE DOOR BECAUSE SOME PISSFACE WANTED TO TALK TO ME ON ANON ABOUT THAT SORT OF NSFW BULLSHIT. YOU KNOW HOW THEY CAN GET.

eridan | mags - Today at 8:59

yeah

Court (Kam) - Today at 8:59

HE ENDED UP CHASING AFTER ME AND UH, HONESTLY I'M KIND OF A SUCKER FOR PEOPLE SHOWING THEY ACTUALLY WANT TO BE WITH A HOTBLOOD LIKE ME. MOST OF THE TIME PEOPLE... DON'T. I GUESS. PROBABLY. I ASSUMED IT WAS BECAUSE I WAS HEMOANONYMOUS BACK THEN, AND THAT SPELLS TROUBLE TO ANYONE WITH EYES?

eridan | mags - Today at 8:59

guess you got lucky there

Court (Kam) - Today at 9:00

BOY I THOUGHT I WAS HOT SHIT BACK THEN, ALL GREYED OUT AND SPECIAL.

eridan | mags - Today at 9:00

yeah

Court (Kam) - Today at 9:00

NOW IT'S JUST BECAUSE I'VE GOT A TINY-ASS LIFESPAN AND I'M A DEAD MAN IF MY COLOR EVEN COMES UP IN A SCANNER. AKA; TOO DANGEROUS TO WANT TO BE WITH, APPARENTLY. IT'S... NICE TO BE ABLE TO TALK TO SOMEONE ABOUT THIS SHIT, THOUGH. TEMP SOMETIMES BRUSHES IT OFF AND I FEEL WORSE. DON'T THINK HE WANTS TO FACE IT EITHER. YOU'RE A GOOD LISTENER.

eridan | mags - Today at 9:03

i try guess im good wwhen im not makin you feel like shit for openin up huh

Court (Kam) - Today at 9:03

YOU GOT IT, YEAH. ANY OTHER QUESTIONS, I GUESS? I'M OPEN TO ANSWERING.

eridan | mags - Today at 9:05

i cant really think of any to be honest you answwered evverythin i needed to knoww

Court (Kam) - Today at 9:06

ALRIGHT, WELL IS THERE ANYTHING YOU WANT TO KNOW LIKE, I DON'T KNOW. HOW TALL I AM. LIFE EXPERIANCES. WHAT'S THE BIGGEST TROLL I'VE EVER FOUGHT. THE MOST CAEGERS OR BEETLES I'VE EVER WON.

eridan | mags - Today at 9:06

howw old are you

Court (Kam) - Today at 9:07

NINE, NEARLY TEN. WHAT ABOUT YOU?

eridan | mags - Today at 9:07

wwell then youre evven younger than me

Court (Kam) - Today at 9:07

ALSO, YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT I LOOK LIKE, DO YOU. FUCK.

eridan | mags - Today at 9:07

recently turned ten though and yeah no i dont

Court (Kam) - Today at 9:07

I'LL UPLOAD SOMETHING TODAY OR TOMORROW OR SOMETHING.

eridan | mags - Today at 9:08

i wwas alwways satisfied wwith my imagination of you but yeah id like to see it

Court (Kam) - Today at 9:11

courtingGrievances [CG] sent file -wWzIKy1g.png- to [CA] at ??:?? DOES THAT SATISFY YOUR IMAGINATION?

eridan | mags - Today at 9:12

oh oh huh you dont you dont look as bad as i thought you wwould

Court (Kam) - Today at 9:12

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

eridan | mags - Today at 9:13

you look good is wwhat i mean

Court (Kam) - Today at 9:14

DID YOU HEAR THAT?? THAT WAS THE SOUND MY HEAD MADE AS I DROPPED MY PALMHUSK ONTO MY FUCKING FACE.

eridan | mags - Today at 9:15

wwhat wwhy

Court (Kam) - Today at 9:15

NO REASON. MY FINGERS ARE COLD. I'M SLIGHTLY TIRED. THERE WAS A WIND. I DON'T TAKE COMPLIMENTS WELL APPARENTLY.

eridan | mags - Today at 9:16

oh uh i mean i didnt say anythin really you just dont look bad you knoww and its a relief

Court (Kam) - Today at 9:16

A... RELIEF? HEY, WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT?

eridan | mags - Today at 9:21

im not friends wwith ugly people

Court (Kam) - Today at 9:21

WAIT, SO IF I WAS UGLY YOU WOULDN'T BE FRIENDS WITH ME? o:B

eridan | mags - Today at 9:22

probably i havve standards you knoww

Court (Kam) - Today at 9:23

I THINK THAT SUCKS. I'D MISS OUT ON YOUR PRESENCE BECAUSE I'D BE UGLY. NOT TO BE A FUCKING DOWNER OR ANYTHING. BUT I LIKE TALKING TO YOU, AND NOT BEING ABLE TO WOULD KIND OF SUCK.

eridan | mags - Today at 9:26

wwell you can be glad youre not then but really im not all that special

Court (Kam) - Today at 9:26

BUT ALSO, I DON'T THINK YOU MEAN THAT, BECAUSE YOU THOUGHT I WASN'T AS GOOD AS I LOOK. AND YOU STILL WANT TO BE FRIENDS WITH ME. WANTED, I MEAN.

eridan | mags - Today at 9:27

people are glad wwhen they dont havve to talk to me

Court (Kam) - Today at 9:27

OKAY, LISTEN.

eridan | mags - Today at 9:27

wwell i thought you looked avverage

Court (Kam) - Today at 9:27

WE'VE BEEN TALKING PRETTY STRAIGHT FOR TWO WHOLE HOURS. IF I DIDN'T WANT TO TALK TO YOU, I WOULDN'T BE. WELL, FUCK.

eridan | mags - Today at 9:28

i mean youre doin most of the talkin so

Court (Kam) - Today at 9:28

SOOOO I'M RIGHT.

eridan | mags - Today at 9:30

shrug wwhatevver you wwanna think honestly

Court (Kam) - Today at 9:33

I TIHNK I'M RIGHT, AND I WANT TO TALK TO YOU, BECAUSE, OCCASSIONAL JACKASSERY ASIDE, I THINK YOU'VE GOT POTENTIAL, DAC. ALSO; IF OCCASSIONAL JACKASSERY WAS A PAYING JOB, WE'D BOTH BE RICHER THAN THE EMPRESS HERSELF. HAHAH.

eridan | mags - Today at 9:41

i mean to be fuckin honest but also i really doubt and evven if i do havve potential it wwent to wwaste already

Court (Kam) - Today at 9:43

STILL HERE, AREN'T YOU? DOESN'T THAT POINT TO SOME INNATE SENSE OF NEED, OF WANTING TO BE MORE? THERE'S STILL SOMETHING LEFT IN YOU, BUD. PROMISE. EVERYONE'S GIVEN YOU SHIT AND SOMETIMES RIGHTFULLY SO, AND YOU GET KNOCKED DOWN A LOT, BUT YOU ALWAYS GET RIGHT BACK UP, YEAH? YOU'RE LIKE A FIGHTER. LIKE ME. I KNOW THIS ISN'T ALL YOU'VE GOT TO GIVE, YOU'VE JUST GOT TO FIND THE RIGHT PEOPLE TO GIVE IT TO. GOD. I NEED TO STOP TALKING, PROBABLY.

eridan | mags - Today at 9:59

no youre fine but uh i dont knoww i dont feel like much of a fighter wwhen i just you knoww do wwhat i gotta do

eridan | mags - Today at 10:00

you actually fight people and protect your friends and such wwhile i just do nothin

Court (Kam) - Today at 10:00

YOU FIGHT FOR YOURSELF. AND PROBABLY EVENTUALLY, SOMEONE ELSE TOO. YOUR QUADS, OR WHATEVER.

eridan | mags - Today at 10:01

wwhenevver i do its just outta place and unneeded and people get mad at me

Court (Kam) - Today at 10:06

I GET THAT. IT'LL CHANGE, EVENTUALLY. I'M RUNNING OUT OF WORDS, SORRY. IT'S BULLSHIT O CLOCK, BUT LISTEN... PEOPLE ARE ALWAYS GOING TO HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THE WAY OTHER PEOPLE DO THINGS. IT'S NOT THEIR JOB TO CHANGE YOU. IF YOU LIKE WHO YOU ARE, BE THAT. EVERYONE WHO CARES WILL LIKE YOU FOR YOU.

eridan | mags - Today at 10:08

evven if its my owwn kismesis gettin mad at me for protectin her a feww people called me manipulativve too just cause i wwanted her to be ok

Court (Kam) - Today at 10:23

WHAT DID YOU DO?

eridan | mags - Today at 10:25

someone wwas makin fun of her in public and tellin her howw she rules is awwful just cause she uses a lot of gifs of marie antoinette so i got mad and told him off but more people joined his friends probably and evventually she told me to shut up but i didnt wwant to and then i just got called manipulativve for wwantin to help her

Court (Kam) - Today at 10:26

THAT'S NOT HER GETTING MAD AT YOU FOR PROTECTING HER, THAT'S HER GETTING CONCERNED ABOUT YOU MAKING A FOOL OUT OF YOURSELF. WHEN THAT HAPPENS, YOU SHOULD MAKE YOUR STANCE KNOWN, BUT YOU SHOULDN'T PUSH IT. STAND UP FOR HER AND TELL THEM OFF, BUT DON'T REPLY FURTHER BEYOND SCORNFUL AND LAUGH-INDUCING GIFS RAGGING ON THE PEOPLE TRYING TO GET THE ONE UP ON YOU. WHAT PEOPLE ARE DOING WHEN THEY KEEP TRYING TO GET A RESPONSE OUT OF YOU IS TRYING TO MAKE YOU SLIP UP, MAKE A MISTAKE. GIVE THEM GIFS, NOT EFFORT, AND YOU SHOULD BE BETTER OFF.

eridan | mags - Today at 10:29

i still got a screenshot of wwhat someone said to me that kinda hit me - https://gyazo.com/7cee73e22a941c972692c37965269d1e - all i wwas tryin to fuckin do is protect her and evveryone wwas just against me suddenly it felt awwful karkat and i still cant get ovver it

Court (Kam) - Today at 10:30

YOU REMEMBER HOW YOU WERE MAKING ME FEEL BAD FOR DOING SHIT I FEEL LIKE I'VE GOT TO DO AND YOU WENT "IF YOU LOVED HIM, YOU'D DO THIS?"

eridan | mags - Today at 10:30

so next time i just back dowwn and let them make fun of her or wwhat

Court (Kam) - Today at 10:31

HOLD ON, LET ME FINISH THIS TRAIN OF THOUGHT FIRST.

eridan | mags - Today at 10:31

alright sorry im just ugh

Court (Kam) - Today at 10:32

THINGS IN THAT SORT OF FORMAT, LIKE "IF YOU LOVED HER, YOU'D DO THIS", AND "WOE IS ME, THIS BULLSHIT IS HAPPENING BECAUSE OF YOU" THAT MAKE SOMEONE FEEL BAD FOR THINGS BEYOND THEIR CONTROL, THAT'S GUILT TRIPPING. IT'S MAKING THEM FEEL GUILTY ABOUT THINGS THEY CAN'T CONTROL, OR THINGS THAT AREN'T THEIR FAULT. IT FUCKING SUCKS WHEN SHIT HAPPENS, BUT MOST PEOPLE DON'T CARE, AND THEY JUST GET OFFENDED AND PUT OUT WHEN YOU TRY TO TELL THEM SO LIKE THAT. YOU COULD TRY WORDING THINGS BETTER, LIKE... INSTEAD OF "YOU'RE GOING TO TURN ON ME TOO", YOU COULD SAY "I FEEL LIKE I'M ALONE HERE, ARE YOU AGAINST ME TOO?" OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT. OR FOR THE SHIT WHERE YOU WENT, "IF YOU LOVED HIM, YOU'D DO THIS" BIT, YOU COULD JUST HAVE SAID "BUT DON'T YOU WANT TO SEE HIM PROTECTED TOO?". MOST OF THE TIME, PHRASING IT LIKE A QUESTION KEEPS THE GENERAL PURPOSE ALIVE WITHOUT BRINGING GUILT DOWN TO THE OTHER PERSONS HEAD.

eridan | mags - Today at 10:36

so the wwhole thing wwith her wwas actually my fault and i got wwhat i deservved

Court (Kam) - Today at 10:37

NEXT TIME THIS BULLSHIT HAPPENS, JUST GIVE THEM ONE RESPONSE OUTLINING YOUR THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS ON THE SUBJECT; IE, YOU'RE NOT HAPPY WITH THE WAY THEY'RE TREATING YOUR MOIRAIL AND SHE CAN POST WHATEVER SHE WANTS, IT'S NOT THEIR JOBS TO JUDGE HER STYLE OF RULING BASED ON GIFS OF SOME FICTIONAL WOMAN. IF THEY TRY TO BRING IT FURTHER, RESPOND WITH A GIF OF SOMEONE YAWNING, OR ACT BORED OF THE CURRENT CONVERSATION, AND DON'T GIVE THEM MORE FUEL FOR THE FIRE. PICTURES ARE WORTH MORE THAN WORDS.

eridan | mags - Today at 10:38

shes my kismesis but yeah alright

Court (Kam) - Today at 10:38

AS FOR THE WHOLE THING WITH HER, I WASN'T THERE SO I CAN'T SAY FOR SURE, BUT IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU WERE IN THE RIGHT TO PROTECT HER, BUT WRONG TO CARRY IT SO FAR, AND YOU SHOULD HAVE QUIT WHILE YOU WERE AHEAD. I DON'T THINK IT WAS YOUR FAULT, THOUGH. ROSEREDMUTANT SOUNDS LIKE A FUCKING JACKASS.

eridan | mags - Today at 10:38

shrug evveryone sounds like a jackass wwhen they talk to me evveryone just treats me like dirt

Court (Kam) - Today at 10:39

THE MOST IMPORTANT THING YOU NEED TO LEARN, I THINK, IS WHEN TO STOP. THERE'S NO POINT BEATING A DEAD HORSE, AND IF YOUR KISMESIS SAYS STOP, YOU SHOULD SAY WHY, AND ASK HER TO BE HONEST. AND IF SHE TELLS YOU WHY, AND SHE'S HONEST AND TELLS YOU WHY AND IT'S A GOOD REASON, YOU SHOULD STOP, REGARDLESS, OR ASK HER TO COME MAKE YOU STOP. SHE'S YOUR KISMESIS FOR A REASON, IT'S HER JOB TO HELP KEEP YOU FROM FIGHTING WITH THE RIFFRAFF, TO DISTRACT YOU FROM OTHER FIGHTS AND MAKE YOU FOCUS ON HER. HER JOB TO HELP YOU IMPROVE YOURSELF THROUGH LEARNING WHAT BATTLES TO PICK, TO HELP YOU LEARN YOUR LIMITS, IN ARGUMENTS AND OTHERWISE.

eridan | mags - Today at 10:42

so i just kinda trust her and stop next time

Court (Kam) - Today at 10:43

IF SHE'S "BEGGING YOU TO STOP" AND NOTHING ELSE, SHE NEEDS TO LEARN TO USE HER WORDS, ALSO. THERE IS NOTHING IN THIS MULTIVERSE THAT CAN'T BE SOLVED THROUGH SOME SORT OF ARGUMENT OR CONVERSATION. YEAH, BASICALLY. SHIT SUCKS SOMETIMES BUT YOU DO WHAT YOU HAVE TO. TRUSTING HER WILL SHOW HER THAT YOU VALUE YOUR RELATIONSHIP.

eridan | mags - Today at 10:43

she didnt beg she just told me multiple times to back off and that its fine and she can deal wwith it on her owwn

Court (Kam) - Today at 10:43

HERE'S WHAT YOU SHOULD DO NEXT TIME.

eridan | mags - Today at 10:43

guess she doesnt like my help

Court (Kam) - Today at 10:43

OKAY, HOLD ON. YEAH, NO, THAT'S NOT RIGHT I MEAN. IT COULD BE POSSIBLE THAT SHE FELT LIKE YOU WERE VACCILATTING PINK, AND SHE FELT EXTREMELY DEFENSIVE ABOUT IT. YOU SHOULD TALK TO HER ABOUT THAT. BUT NO, IF SHE TELLS YOU TO STOP SOMETHING, SHE SHOULD AT LEAST HAVE A REASON, AND YOU'RE FUCKING QUADDED, SHE SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DO ANYTHING ALONE, AND NEXT TIME THAT SHIT HAPPENS. WHEN SHE TELLS YOU TO "STOP DEFENDING ME, BACK OFF, I CAN DO THIS ON MY OWN", YOU NEED TO TELL HER SOMETHING LIKE "I WILL BACK OFF BECAUSE YOU WANT ME TO AND I TRUST YOUR JUDGEMENT, BUT I NEED YOU TO TRUST ME ALSO" AND MAYBE SOMETHING LIKE "I NEED YOUR HELP TO BACK OFF, CAN YOU COME DISTRACT ME". BECAUSE, HAHA, THAT'S KIND OF HER JOB, AS YOUR KISMESIS, IS TO DISTRACT YOU FROM GETTING INTO SHIT YOU MIGHT NOT BE ABLE TO HANDLE. EMOTIONALLY OR PHYSICALLY. THAT'S THE WHOLE FUCKING POINT OF KISMESITUDE.

eridan | mags - Today at 10:47

huh alright i nevver kneww that to be honest yeah i i guess ill havve to talk to her i dont knoww

Court (Kam) - Today at 10:48

HERE. https://fluffpuffandstuff.tumblr.com/post/156045666788/what-the-heck-am-ii-feeliing-labeliing-your 

eridan | mags - Today at 10:49

i dont wwanna dig it up again but it might happen again and shrug

Court (Kam) - Today at 10:49

I SENT SOMETHING IN TO THIS E-ZINE AND I GOT THIS BACK, AND IT HELPED ME LABEL TEMP AND I INTO AN OMNIQUAD. YOU SHOULD READ IT TOO, ALRIGHT? AND EVEN IF YOU DON'T. HERE'S THE BASIC GIST. MATESPRITS PROTECT, KISMESIS' IMPROVE. MOIRAILS SOOTHE AND AUSPISTICES INTERVENE AS A TOPLEAF, AND WANT TO BE INTERVENED ON AS A BOTTOMLEAF.

eridan | mags - Today at 10:51

yeah i just got to that part

Court (Kam) - Today at 10:51

I'LL BREAK IT DOWN FOR YOU EVEN FURTHER IF YOU WANT, THIS SORT OF SHIT IS WHAT I USED TO THRIVE ON A FEW SWEEPS BACK, MARATHONING ROM-COMS LIKE THEY WERE THE HOTTEST NEW GAMEGRUB OF THE SEASONAL VENTURE.

eridan | mags - Today at 10:52

thats not all too surprisin to be honest hahaha but no i dont wwant to think about this more or else i just end up realisin i got flush feelins for my kismesis or somethin like that thatd just ruin things and make it evven wworse i just wwanted to be there cause i felt like as kismesises wwere a team you knoww

Court (Kam) - Today at 10:53

YOU WOULDN'T RUIN THINGS BY TALKING ABOUT YOUR EMOTIONS.

eridan | mags - Today at 10:53

yeah wwe hate eachother but also wwere still datin

Court (Kam) - Today at 10:53

EVERY, EVERY QUADRANT IS SUPPOSED TO TALK ABOUT THEIR EMOTIONS, JUST IN DIFFERENT WAYS.

eridan | mags - Today at 10:56

huh

Court (Kam) - Today at 10:56

IF YOU FEEL LIKE YOU VACILLATE, THEN TELL HER, GENTLY. IF SHE DOESN'T RETURN THEM, ASK IF THIS CHANGES ANYTHING. AND IF SHE SAYS YES, ASK HER, SPECIFICALLY, WHAT IT CHANGES. ASK HER (IN A DIFFERENT SENTENCE,) IF THIS CHANGES YOUR KISMESITUDE, AND IF SHE STILL /WANTS/ TO BE KISMESIS' WITH YOU. AND IF SHE SAYS NO. COME TO ME.

eridan | mags - Today at 10:56

no im not goin to do that

Court (Kam) - Today at 10:56

AND IF SHE SAYS YEAH, SHE STILL WANTS TO BE BLACK WITH YOU, THEN YOU'RE GOLDEN, AND NOTHING CHANGES. YEAH, NO, I DON'T BLAME YOU THERE. BETTER TO WAIT UNTIL YOU'VE GOT YOUR FEELINGS SECURELY LOCKED IN A BOX OR SOMETHING. THAT SHIT'S HEAVY.

eridan | mags - Today at 10:57

this could evven cause problems wwith my husband and im not into that

Court (Kam) - Today at 10:57

FAIR.

eridan | mags - Today at 10:57

ill just i guess talk to her about that stuff wwith that one fight that got out of hand but nothin more

Court (Kam) - Today at 10:58

JUST... ASK HER TO HELP YOU MORE WITH DISTRACTING YOU FROM FIGHTS YOU CAN'T HANDLE. USE THOSE WORDS.

eridan | mags - Today at 10:58

yeah ok

Court (Kam) - Today at 10:58

IF YOU CAN, APOLOGIZE FOR MAKING A SPECTACLE OUT OF YOURSELF. USE THOSE WORDS TOO.

eridan | mags - Today at 10:58

i dont like apologisin

Court (Kam) - Today at 10:58

ME EITHER. IT FEELS GROSS, DOESN'T IT?

eridan | mags - Today at 10:59

yeah

Court (Kam) - Today at 10:59

IT FEELS ALL... VULNERABLE AND SHIT.

eridan | mags - Today at 11:00

yeah i dont i dont like doin that so i rarely evver apologise i dont apologise if i dont gotta

Court (Kam) - Today at 11:00

YEAH. YEAH, YES. THAT BULLSHIT. IF I APOLOGIZE, I'M GENUINELY FUCKING FEELING IT, AND DITTO FOR YOU I'M ASSUMING?

eridan | mags - Today at 11:01

yeah actually lets start wwith it already sorry for uh dumpin this on you its not your job to do this i just i guess i cant help it i kinda wwhine to evverybody i dont knoww

Court (Kam) - Today at 11:02

DUDE, YOU'RE NOT WHINING. YOU'RE ASKING FOR HELP. THAT'S ALL A COMPLAIN OR A WHINE IS. IT'S THICKLY VEILED BUT THAT'S REALLY, WHAT IT COMES DOWN TO. YOU'RE HOPING SOMEONE WILL LISTEN AND DO SOMETHING TO STOP THE SOURCE OF YOUR WHINING, OR TO CONSOLE YOU AND HELP YOU FEEL BETTER ABOUT THE BULLSHIT THAT CAUSED THE WHINING OR COMPLAINING IN THE FIRST PLACE.

eridan | mags - Today at 11:03

i mean yeah but like its still not your duty you knoww i should be able to deal wwith my problems alone i guess god im just so pathetic

Court (Kam) - Today at 11:03

I SPENT HOURS WATCHING SHIT LIKE THIS AND YELLING AT THE CHARACTERS ON SCREEN, HONESTLY, I'M THE BEST PERSON FOR THE JOB, HAHA. UH, ALSO?? FUCK NO. DEALING WITH PROBLEMS ALONE FUCKING SUCKS. IT FEELS BAD AND YOU JUST GET FRUSTRATED BECAUSE YOU BURN OUT ON THAT SHIT. ASKING FOR HELP IS KEEPING YOU SANE AND KEEPING YOU SAFE. JUST FROWNED UPON IF YOU ASK ANYONE OTHER THAN PEOPLE CLOSE TO YOU.

eridan | mags - Today at 11:05

youre not my moirail though or evven my mate i shouldnt be talkin about this wwith you of all people

Court (Kam) - Today at 11:05

I'M NOT YOUR MOIRAIL OR YOUR MATE, YEAH, BUT I'M YOUR FRIEND. A GOOD ONE, I THINK, AT THIS POINT. FRIENDS GOTTA BE THERE FOR YOU.

eridan | mags - Today at 11:06

yeah i guess thanks

Court (Kam) - Today at 11:06

IF MATESPRITS PROTECT, KISMESIS' IMPROVE. MOIRAILS SOOTHE AND AUSPISTICES INTERVENE, FRIENDS LISTEN. THEY'RE THERE WHEN YOU NEED SOMEONE TO JUST LISTEN, AND MAYBE OFFER ADVICE. HONESTLY, I WISH I'D OFFERED THIS KIND OF ADVICE WHEN I WAS YOUNGER. MAYBE I COULD HAVE KEPT MY OLD FRIENDS BACK TOGETHER. MAYBE I'D ACTUALLY KNOW WHERE SOME OF THEM ARE. IF THEY'RE EVEN ALIVE.

eridan | mags - Today at 11:07

wwell at least you learnt from it and youre better noww

Court (Kam) - Today at 11:07

I HOPE I'M BETTER. I KIND OF FEEL LIKE EVERYTHING I'M SAYING IS GOING IN ONE FIN AND OUT THE OTHER, BUT YOU SEEM HAPPY WITH WHAT I'M GOING ON ABOUT.

eridan | mags - Today at 11:07

i dont knoww howw you used to be but i knoww youre good noww shrug still youre doin better than evveryone else i met before you so i guess theres that

Court (Kam) - Today at 11:08

... BETTER AT BEING A FRIEND? SHIT, I'M SORRY. YOU MUST HAVE HAD SOME PRETTY SHIT ONES BEFORE NOW, THEN.

eridan | mags - Today at 11:09

i dont just forget the things you say i got better about hemoism and i remember you havve a mate and i wwanna talk to fef about the shit and stuff friends relationships just evverythin

Court (Kam) - Today at 11:09

(:B

eridan | mags - Today at 11:10

but yeah thanks i guess im gonna take a nap i think

Court (Kam) - Today at 11:11

ALRIGHT. I... HOPE THIS WAS A GOOD CONVERSATION. SEEMED LIKE ONE TO ME, AT LEAST. SEE YOU LATER? I'M ALWAYS REACHABLE HERE... AND IF I DON'T RESPOND, SOMETHING'S PROBABLY UP. I'LL. UH. I'LL ADD YOUR MESSENGER HANDLE TO A LIST OF HANDLES ASSOCIATED WITH OUR DEADMANS SWITCH. SO IF SOME BULLSHIT HAPPENS, YOU'LL KNOW WHEN AND WHERE.

eridan | mags - Today at 11:17

oh wwell thanks thats good to knoww but yeah see you around

Court (Kam) - Today at 11:19

courtinggrievances [CG] has ceased trolling [CA?]