#im Orion. an INFP enby who was meant to be born in Indiana. adopted for my and my mom's safety. I take Vyvanse for adhd and that alone. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

0rionz-belt · 2 years

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its hard to think that there was at least a week of my life where I balanced marching band, my rock band program, writing, drawing, and theater on top of high school. I talked to people, both friends and unfamiliar with no issue. And i never thought anything of it.

5 years later and I can barely function doing even 3 of those things. i miss being an artist.

#vent #on the other hand i really shouldnt idolize that version of myself #after all. That kid's insecurity is what caused this.#she was so scared her crush was going to leave her and what did she do? She freaked out and made the process go faster.#i cant even begin to wonder how long it would have taken if that never happened. maybe it wouldnt have been so tragic.#she didnt know her crush liked her too.#by all means i should be considering her a different person.#she was an ENFP girl from Seattle. adopted bc her parents didnt have the money. took a miracle pill with apparently different uses.#im Orion. an INFP enby who was meant to be born in Indiana. adopted for my and my mom's safety. I take Vyvanse for adhd and that alone.#She was an artist who tried every new thing she came across but was scared of carnival rides and coasters.#I am a pathetic shell of a person whos just getting back into the flow of doing art stuff again after 4 years.#and i am...significantly less afraid of carnival rides and rollercoasters.#its funny. the parts about where im from and why im adopted and what my medication is for.#those are not things about my personality. except for the medication part tbh.#but they are important to who i am. i had to dig that shit out of my parents. finding it out over the past 3 years.#i dont know. is it really such a crime to want to be who i once was and keep traits of who i currently am?#also no just because i misgender myself here doesnt mean you get to as well.#but yeah. thats why i call myself an it.

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