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#im big into shame idk !
sonknuxadow · 4 months
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am i the only one who still thinks that they didnt do enough with rouge in sonic prime. and not in a "she didnt get enough screentime" sort of way but in a "they didnt seem to be putting as much thought into what they were doing with her as they were with the other main characters" sort of way
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skunkes · 2 months
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the way I've been raised has shown itself in a recent awful experience I had and the realization won't leave me because I'm not sure what to do about it.
I don't like feeling anger/upset and it's rare for me to feel it anyway but it's led to me being unable to tell what's worth getting upset over anymore. If my wants upset somebody, then, well, maybe I shouldn't have them? What is so serious that I need it to go completely my way...? What desires am I allowed to have. It's not that serious, it's okay if not, you can't always get what you want....
every time I feel Upset I am later wracked with guilt because it wasn't a big deal and I was just being selfish... What IS a big deal then? How can I tell? Its admittedly never a big deal... But I keep being upset. And stepped on....
#talkys#this is what led to me Staying for as long as i did#there would be issues but if I brought them up i wld then be made to feel guilty for feeling that way#but i cant reverse that bc well!! its true like is it really a big deal? life isnt that serious I dont need to get upset...#i get upset at something my parents do and in the end i feel ungrateful and selfish#i really cant tell anymore which is why i Stayed as mentioned above#in the sense of well yeah the way im being treated doesnt make me feel good but why do i need to feel good?#isnt that selfish...isnt that asking too much...isnt that making yourself out to be Better Than...#i really dont know. i get so ready to give up my position on anything because I dont want to be selfish#and because im no better than anyone else#my mom caused some drama on my birthday wrt my sister's family and it led to me not being able to go to the duck#pond on my birthday... which is the only thing i really wanted to do on an otherwise uneventful day#i was meant to feel shame abt it because well we can always go any other day!!! relax!!!#and it is true....!#we can go any other day why did i get upset? its not that serious...nothing is that serious...i feel so guilty + spoiled + selfish#i just felt humiliated for wanting to go in the first place. and for getting upset that we couldnt go. like a toddler.#*not that i actually get Toddler Level upset...but it always Feels like i did...ykwim#i just dont understand......idk if i can Repair this....
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lotus-pear · 5 months
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oh my god FINE........since u guys insist sm ig i have no choice huh
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the-anime-man · 3 months
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Everything was gone. There was no wall, no sky, no floor. He couldn’t see, smell or feel anything. The only things left were the screaming and the burning pain. He’d rather have nothing.
hi this is a fanart for @team-frightfur's fanfic series Dramaturgy which i've been obsessed with for a couple of months now whoops. this isn't technically based on any one moment but a couple of different ones that are [REDACTED] Anyways, timelapse under the cut bye
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videoviolence · 9 months
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stupid thing to complain about but in the internet hemisphere it sucks when you hear someone say they like "slasher movies" and you know inevitably that 9 times out of 10 it will never mean anything more then they like scream or the big three or black christmas . because other slasher movies from that decade that deserve the limelight just dont have the same, idk, 'yaoi' appeal or characters that fandoms can strip of their main source to project whatever they want onto them . like maniac or pieces or blood rage or edge of the axe or the burning or mortuary or whatever will never be That popular or ever mean anything in "slasher fandom" spaces cuz theres just no audience for it . it sucks that you have to really seek these convos out & all that artistry and passion goes down th drain .
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sennaverstappen · 2 months
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boyywithluv · 16 hours
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#having a creative rut feeling#gonna rant#im basically a giant baby and i don't handle angst very well#and i constantly worry that im just. idk mentally weak or a deeply uninteresting person bc of it.#every big fantasy artist i see is usually very into making sad or angsty pieces and like i wish i was like that#like i fall into this mental hole very very often that im just holding myself back with how many subjects i dont write or draw#but also like when i DO write dark subjects it doesn't make me feel any better??#i dont like feeling sad or angry bc once i am its extremely hard to get back out of it.#and thats scary for me.#but also i want to make art that means something instead of my nonestop slew of smut and feelgood content.#i genuinely feel so trapped by my own emotions and its sp frustrating.#i keep getting told how good for you it is to get the negative feelings out but it never helps when i do it#i just feel. worse? i dont feel good.#i kinda wanna delete the one cloud post bc it just doesn't feel good.#ugh#idk i want to have good intelligent things to say and thoughtful art to make#and everything i make feels soft and cheesey and lame.#not that i find those things lame#but just that it feels like im stuck in baby brain.#when i was a teen i would write horror stories!!! i still love horror!!!#but if i make someone suffer in fic now it feels me with this awful awful overwhelming sense of dread and guilt and i end up so upset#im frustrated at me bc this is such a fucking weird sensitivity to have. im tried of telling myself its okay#bc i WANT to feel mentally free enough to create shit that isnt just uwu soft.#i don't think im making sense but like.#you know#I've literally been bullied out of fandom spaces for only making soft content#multiple times.#so idk maybe this is a learned sense of shame#but i feel like a big over sensitive baby and like I'd be able to do so much more if i wasn't#vent ish
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isdalinarhot · 6 months
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dalinar and sadeas. press their coochies together and frot/scissor with such a fucking vengeance. like the thrill is glowing in their eyes. and the end result is a little coupon that says. dalinar you are so good at being an absent father. sadeas you are a bonus code but maybe just maybe you can be an absent father too. depending on how things work out. god imagine if adolin and renarin were sadalinar kids and they had to deal with 2 absent fathers and 0 mothers growing up. theyd be so fucked up
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shevr · 11 months
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theodoravery · 6 months
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the ending of the one was so.... underwhelming. it felt rushed (probably bc it was)
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nightfallsystem · 5 months
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do u ever notice how much u love ur friends and ur like oh my god i dont deserve this what the fuck
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shuruzy · 2 months
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body practice... decided to use Quin as my training partner since they've got Forger Muscles & i dont draw or talk about J:USTICE characters enough
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blorbologist · 1 year
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Pros of science conference: can meet a ton of cool people and talk about cool research and nerd out bigtime with likeminded people from all over the works
Cons: there are SO MANY cool, attractive people who I can't flirt with because Professional Relationships and/or live half a world away
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thehardkandy · 20 days
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Travelling back home tomorrow hoping for a smooth groove
#i did have a really nice week last week but now im back to everything feeling busy#(its not really that busy)#and oh i miss being slow like idk ever since i was a literal child doing ONE excursion weekly#for an hour#always felt like such s draining burden#and tbh i would like to know why thst is because while it's easy to see as poor habit as an adult reinforcing itself#as a kid i was always made to do things. see people.#i did a summer camp every year at least during the day#i did sports i went hiking in forests#but i remember so distinctly like an age where i stopped asking my parents to try new things#because i would get so excited!!!! but then every week it would become this overwhelming presence#despite being something that i actively enjoyed#and it eventually felt so awful i was like okay no more wanting things you dont use them wisely#like ouch yeah actually that's a big one. wanting things usually wraps back#around to shame or guilt just about always#anyway how is this relevant to travelling?#it's just that i have to travel tomorrow and i have a doctors appointment Friday i have to go to in person#ive changed beds ive slept in 3 times in 5 days#and all i can say at the end of it is that even these little things are JUST enough to be on edge#to feel like im putting my hands over my ears and closing my eyes and pretend nothing bad is gonna happen#even thougu DEFINITELY something bad is going to happen#but of course it doesnt because this is all benign stuff ive done a trillion times before of no note#crazy how complicated it can be to be a person#it is why i dream of living in a small village where i am an apprentice tradesperson and i live simple house#and the house you can walk to anywhere you need to anywhere you need in an your#but no one is that urgent about anything anyway.#beautiful little place that has never actually ever existed for anyone in anytime#but i am still wanting to scream and pull my hair out just asking why why cant everything slow down and be smaller
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greenliar · 1 month
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Miss your monster art </3
hey im glad to hear someone likes and misses my fanart! monster is still one of my favorite pieces of media ever, but right now im just trying to focus on more silly self indulgent art to fight art block so im not planning to revisit it for now
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minglana · 10 months
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does it strike anyone else as extremely weird the fact that a prety big percentage of spanish chronically online young people have adopted "no puc mes" as 'internet lingo' in spanish?
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