#im intrigued THERES A BOW GUYS

[socksandbuttons]

theres an original lunar reference art?????

[hanasnx]

Imma jus keep flooding your ask box bec that's just how I am🏃🏾‍♀️ but this tiktok has me thinking.... imagine an au where anakin is a mandalorian...??? Like hear me out on that😮‍💨😩

Love the og mando but it can always be better with my fave Skywalker </3

link

hello vana! can you pls tell me your secret as to how your asks live rent free in my head???? you are welcome to flood my inbox anytime

im not joking. this one and the last one ive thought of periodically since i read them

i found this post a bit ago of mando!anakin <3 thought youd like it: mandalorian fanart link

☥ i have a huge suit and mask kink if you cant tell already im a mess over dudes in full head to toe gear bonus points if theyre stoic and only speak when absolutely necessary. fucking delicious i eat it up everytime.

☥ anakin’s canon personality kinda fits with that of mando from the show. gravely serious, quiet and calculative in strategic situations, no patience for nonsense, acquires a child and- after fighting the decision- grows attached to it, fierce loyalty to his family.

☥ mando’s armor is so fucking hot oh my fucking god i want him to do me with the helmet on and then imagining anakin underneath it all>???? i feel faint.

☥ imagine him being a bounty hunter eeeeeee

☥ like you two come across each other like you were sitting at the bar and he comes up to talk to the bartender if she’s seen a certain face around. you love the sound of his voice omffmggm, you can tell theres a slight mod to it and it just adds to the rasp. the bartender asks him to wait a second while she goes to the back. so you turn on the charm,

“bounty hunter?”

he pivots his head, marginally. and gives a single slow nod. you smile at him, down your drink.

“big fan of bounty hunters, one time a hunter saved my sister. would love to buy you a drink.”

“can’t. working.”

“afterwards? we both know you’re gonna catch that sleazebag you’re tracking. you look like the type that doesn’t stop til he gets what he wants, right?”

oh, how right you were.

he doesn’t say anything, so you assume it’s not a no. “mandalorian armor… would love to know what you look like under it all.” generously, you eyes travel him from boots to helmet.

“how do you know i’m not one of those guys that’s vowed to keep the helmet on?”

finally, a sentence. you must’ve caught his attention. “i wouldn’t mind that.” your ambiguous flirt left room to his imagination. having implied that it didn’t matter if he kept the helmet on, just as long as you got to see his cock pistoning into you. that was a little too forward for this kind of interaction.

he bows his head, and you envision the way he must be looking at you through his brows. either intrigued or appalled. the guessing game thrills you to say the least.

you point out his mark to him, behind the two of you, sucking on the neck of a twi’lek. “you owe me, hunter.” it was a harmless joke.

the twinkling of a couple credits sounds against the bar counter.

“for your next drink.” he answers your questioning glance.

☥ maybe by making your attraction to him apparent enough, he says fuck it, and after catching and collecting his bounty that very night, he comes back to the bar to see if you’re still there.

☥ maybe you somehow convince him to do you in the dark alley behind the disreputable bar. to your delight, he let you take off his helmet so he could fuck your mouth with his tongue while he slipped his cock out of the confines of his armor and fuck you for real. it’s not like his line of work allows for any time for himself, and the warmth of a willing woman is few and far in between. of course he melts into you once you say the right things. falls for how desperate and noisy your pussy is, slurping him up. sinking into your wet heat and panting into each others mouths.

☥ appearances didn’t matter to you much, and you were buzzed enough to not care. however, imagine your pleasant surprise to see someone so fucking pretty hiding underneath the mask.

☥ imagine yall start a fun little fwb relationship after this so he can fuck all his frustrations out using you <3

[lucius-the-sinful]

galethor and astarion have the same energy reflected in this AITA comment

some fun things thats happened in my early access playthrough with them below the cut

>Galethor not intervening when Aradin and Zevlor yell at each other and watching with great amusement as Zevlor gets knocked on his ass. I think that was the moment Astarion became intrigued by Gale (yes his nickname is gale, no i did not know of gale the companion before i made this character because galethor was created for an upcoming d&d campaign asdhfdlk)

>Gale thinking he tricked the teifling child by stealing the ring but failing every perception check to notice his bag was lighter. Very in character no notes.

>Playing heavily into exaggerating the story of the fight for Volo.

>Not taking the wyvern poison so Nettie was killed. Galethor ransacking her entire laboratory and walking out of the grove like nothing happened. And since the teifling child was spared no one questioned "why do you have the healer's circlet???" like i find that particularly silly. This man getting away with blatant murder will never not be funny.

>Making Vorru bow to Lae'zel for his own (and Astarion's) entertainment.

>I will definitely break some hearts with this one but to be fair, I didn't think this would be the outcome but it Just Makes Sense. Rescuing Halsin went sideways because Galethor decided pelting the bear with rocks was funny. Then the bear got angry. He also took that chance to kill some goblins since they won't become hostile from friendly fire. Anyways, after Halsin was dead at Galethor's feet he went "well fuck guys what do we do now :(" then cast speak with dead to get his information anyways. I hope that Astarion approval was worth it, Gale (it was).

>On a related note, in the Underdark he told Baelen "you're on your own", snatched his backpack, then blew up the mushrooms.

>Finally, strutting confidently in on the bugbear and ogre in the Blighted Village, thinking he could weasel his way out of it by saying he wanted to join the fun. He could not.

im sure theres more that happened im forgetting. he's awful and materialistic and loves fucking with people. hope this helps.

[if-the-crown-fits-translate-it]

Discord pt 106

[Date: 28/03, 2:57 AM GMT - 28/03, 3:40 AM GMT]  

[Direct continuation of pt 105]

jayyyyyyyy: “can I assume you both like the color pink? or am I just reaching”

[Duke: “However, civility is the noblest pillar of which humanity stands on. Please cease your fighting you two, it can be easily discussed later.”]

Renboobigceenzatublraffectionate: “y'know what fine I don't want to get shrunk any further so I'll try not to argue for now, sorry if I upset you”

Jack the Observer: “I'm sorry, Duke and Duchess, I was about to retire for the night when I noticed you had arrived. I must be on my way, but I hope you will find this humble place at least interesting :)”

Duchess: “Of course; you need not neglect your rest for our sake. Have a lovely night.”

Duke: “Thank you! I wish you happy dreams and sweet slumber.”

llyr (they/them): “ooh, what about favorite animals, if you two have one?

jayyyyyyyy: “I’m still curious-- is your favorite color pink?”

Duchess: “I would say our favorite animal would be cats. And yes- we are both guite fond of pink.”

Renboobigceenzatublraffectionate: “why are you asking for colors? this isn't normally something we ask-”

Duke: “It represents such glorious things, pink. Both soft and strong, loving and deceiving, cool yet warm.”

jayyyyyyyy: “nice! I’m not too big on pink, but its a really nice color”

jayyyyyyyy: “hey siblings, do you want to hear a fun fact about pink?”

Luna Stories: “Hey, what did I miss?”

Renboobigceenzatublraffectionate: “Duke and Duchess are here”

Big G (they/them): “Apologies for not speakin in ender, Im too tired right now. But pink is a nice choice!”

Luna Stories: “Oh!”

[Renboobigceenzatublraffectionate: “why are you asking for colors? this isn't normally something we ask-”]

Big G (they/them): “We don't normally ask this?”

Duchess: “Certainly, Jay! what is it?”

Duke: “The Korat and Dragon Li are my favourite out of the feline breeds I feel compelled to add. Cat is such a widespread response it only feels fair to gift you with more.”

jayyyyyyyy: “theres actually a specific color pink that Icant really remember the name of that, when standing in a room with the walls painted the pink, would lower your strength by 30%”

[Big G (they/them): “We don't normally ask this?”]

Renboobigceenzatublraffectionate: “no we normally ask things like, fit check, favorite number, chicken nugets, circlet color n' stuff, memories about meeting crown, etc. etc.. I dont think we've ever asked about colors in the first bunch of questions-”

jayyyyyyyy: “the nfl had to ban teams from using it because they would go and paint their opposing teams locker rooms the color before games”

Big G (they/them): “Well that's very odd, huh.”

jayyyyyyyy: “scientifically theres no reasonable explanation for it, but it still happens. its very intriguing”

Duchess: “That is very fascinating!”

llyr (they/them): “actually, that's a fair point :3″

Duke: “How interesting!”

jayyyyyyyy: “mhm! I’ve always wondered about it, but could never even think of an reasoning”

llyr (they/them): “what's you two's opinions on chicken nuggets??”

Big G (they/them): “and on soup?”

Duke: “I am unfamiliar with this dish known as chicken nuggets. It... Is a dish correct?”

Duchess: “Oh, I think they're a fine food! I did enjoy them regularly as a child. And soup is a wonderfully versatile dish.”

jayyyyyyyy: “aWHATA”

jayyyyyyyy: “Duchess, has Duke never had chicken nuggets?”

Duchess: “Duke... Again, I apologize. I am unsure as to why he is... Like this. We have both certainly had chicken nuggets before.”

jayyyyyyyy: “I was about to be so upset if Duke never had chicken nuggets”

Duke: “Duchess, we have not? Not to my recollection - what in the world do you mean?”

Big G (they/them): “jay, friend, I think you should hide your befuddlement you're being a bit rude.”

jayyyyyyyy: “well now I’m just confused

do you guys have alternate memories?”

emuhlee: “I find it quite odd how your experiences differ so much as you're twins, and you ideas and opinions are so similar. very interesting.”

Duchess: “Duke, we definitely...It is fine. Chicken nuggets are small pieces of chicken which are breaded and fried. They are a popular food item for children.”

jayyyyyyyy: “its a genuine question! they seem to be having similar confusion!”

Duke: “Oh, nonsense! we of course do not, we are twins after all! I'd say we even have such a strong connection we could finish each other's sentences. There just must be a simple mix-up in this all, no?"

jayyyyyyyy: “Duke, we gotta get you chicken nuggets, theyre so good”

emuhlee: “my twin and I never really got the hang of finishing each others sentences...”

Duke: “A popular item for children does not sound terribly appealing I'm afraid. With runny noses and sticky palms children have quite... Adverse tastes.”

Renboobigceenzatublraffectionate: “Duke, Duchess, sorry if this seems rude, but are you two human? it's a genuine question. I apologise if I come off as impolite”

Duke: “Oh! Oh! You have a twin?”

jayyyyyyyy: “although its popular with children, its still very much loved as adults!”

Duchess: “Not at all! we are human, yes.”

emuhlee: “I do! A twin sister :)”

jayyyyyyyy: “I still think Duke should try chicken nuggets. theyre So So Good, not just to children”

llyr (they/them): “Ilike chicken nuggets :3

they taste like. chicken :D”

Big G (they/them): “Wendy's chicken nuggets are really good,”

jayyyyyyyy: “if not nuggets, tenders are also good!”

Duke: “I hope you cherish her, emuhlee.”

Renboobigceenzatublraffectionate: “Duke have you tried bacon before? if so what'd your opinion on it?”

emuhlee: “oh I do, she's my best friend”

Duke: “Chicken is rather tasty although sometimes almost too salted, I do hope these nuggets will not dissapoint.”

Duke: “I have had bacon, yes. It is quite tasty.”

Duchess: “Apologies to you all, but I have had a rather busy day and I feel it may be time for me to retire for the evening. I will leave you all with my brother and bid a good night. It was delightful to meet you all.”

jayyyyyyyy: “goodbye, Duchess! have a good night!”

Renboobigceenzatublraffectionate: “goodnight Duchess!”

Dollar General Tubbo: “Good night, Duchess! Rest well”

llyr (they/them): “goodnight, Duchess!! :3″

emuhlee: “goodnight!”

Duke: “goodnight, sister.”

Duke: “Oh dear me, I have been reminded that I have not given a fit check. I hope I used that sentence correctly?”

emuhlee: “yes, you used it correctly.”

Renboobigceenzatublraffectionate: “yeah you did”

Raeva: “I'm a bit late but excited to see Duke and Duchess here”

Duke: “I do not have photos such as my sister but certain family members have said - and I am quoting this so do forgive me if it makes as little sense to you as it does to I- that I am "stealing her look" and "you're basically just wearing her clothes but male dude lmaoooo like you got that bow at your throat but where's the og style? is this a twin thing or do we need to take you shopping? no don't get mad at me I'm just speaking facts."”

Duke: “Raeva, hello! I know of you through my sister, I hoped you enjoyed the conversation you two shared.”

Kate: “Alright, I'm back! Hello again, all!~”

Big G (they/them): “Hullo kate!”

llyr (they/them): “I think I'm actually going to go, heehee. night, y'all!! please be nice to each other :3″

Kate: “Hello! :D”

Raeva: “It was interesting to say the least I don't believe I've spoken to you though.

Night Llry!”

Big G (they/them): “gn llyr”

Duke: “I wish you sweet dreams and soft slumber.”

jayyyyyyyy: “whoever said that to you, Duke, is generally rude and shouldnt have said that

who cares if one person dresses like another? if they like it, let them be”

Big G (they/them): “I would have fought them”

emuhlee: “Duke, I have a question, if you don't mind?”

Renboobigceenzatublraffectionate: “who tf is ur family member?? I will beat their ankles >>:(”

bite I meant bite”

Duke: “I do believe it was meant in jest and it was before they knew us as they do now. It is alright, but I thank you for getting angry on my behalf. What question do you have, Em?”

emuhlee: “Oh! I was just wondering, which of the two of you is oldest?”

Duke: “I am, of course. Do not listen to Duchess if she tells you otherwise, I adore my sister but when it comes to things such as that she likes to bend the truth.”

jayyyyyyyy: “...I sense a little bit of hostility?”

emuhlee: “I see.  I understand where she comes about, on that.”

Duke: “Oh! none at all. She is wonderful and kind, my sister. She is a beacon of glory and I love her to my heart's deepest corners - she is the one who I would dive down for into murky waters and toil in horrid sun and sand for. However, it has been an issue since childhood with her claiming to be older. Our parents did not refute her so this has continued on despite the fact she should know better.”

jayyyyyyyy: “I see.. did your parents favor your sister? since thats what it sounds like :(”

Duke: “Oh my! what a ridiculous notion. My darling parents adored us both. I do hope they are doing well now.”

jayyyyyyyy: “I see.. they sound nice! they probably miss you guys a lot”

Duke: “I.... Suppose so.”

jayyyyyyyy: “mhm. though, its not my business-- how about a topic change?”

Duke: “Oh well! We live in the now, no? Dwelling on the past is for fools and crumbling men and we are neither"

[douxreviews]

American Gods - ‘Git Gone’ Review

"That was vulgar. I’m a vulgar woman. Anger and grief have… have really just made me vulgar."

American Gods gives us the Gospel According to Laura, and answers a few questions to boot.

OK, it's cheating just a little bit to end two episodes in a row with the exact same cliffhanger, but wow, what a trip it was getting there the second time around.

So, at the end of the previous episode, Shadow enters his motel room to find his recently deceased wife, Laura, sitting on his bed waiting for him. Expectations, then, were that we'd pick up at that same point and get to see their inevitable confrontation over the whole 'died while orally servicing his best friend' situation. But 'Git Gone' takes a different path, and instead goes back to before the show even began and tells the whole thing again, but this time from Laura's perspective.

This is by no means the first show to do an episode dedicated to re-staging things we've already seen, but from the perspective of one of the other characters, but there's a reason that shows like to do it, and it's not just the cost savings of re-using existing sets. The primary virtue of this setup is that it allows you to fill in a lot of character information, while revealing information about events you've already seen that we didn't know at the time. Case in point, we've already heard the phone conversation between Shadow and Laura in 'The Bone Orchard'. but now we know that she literally had his best friend naked on their bed while she was talking to him. That changes how we feel about Laura during that conversation a lot.

So, let's talk about Laura.

For the first three episodes, Laura has essentially been a woman in the refrigerator. It's an insidious trope, which can be boiled down to the idea that stories tend to treat female characters as someone to kill so that the important character, i.e. the man, can be properly motivated to do whatever the story needs him to do. It's a pleasant relief then to find out that, no, Laura has been having a fairly eventful story of her own, and her untimely death was only the middle part of it.

The thing that 'Git Gone' makes clear about Laura is that she is fundamentally self-destructive. The very first decision we see her make is to attempt suicide in her covered hot tub by breathing in the titular bug spray, and that appears to have been brought on by nothing more than the casino she's working at telling her that she can't shuffle the cards by hand anymore, but she likes shuffling cards so she's super sad about it. She's clearly smart and perceptive; it takes her all of three seconds to understand the con that Shadow is trying to pull at her blackjack table. She's also basically kind, since her response to his con is to point out the casino's security measures and what they'll do to him when he's caught, then takes his bet and tells him to finish his drink and go home while he can. But when Shadow approaches her afterward and tries to ask her out in a reasonably polite fashion she's not interested. She only becomes interested in him once he starts getting stalker-ishly creepy. The same is true of their sex scene. She's bored out of her mind when he's being a courteous lover, and slaps him full in the face for no other reason than to see what he'll do. That's just not a safe thing to do to a guy you just picked up after he attempted to rob your casino, and whom you know absolutely nothing about. Which is why she does it.

The sequence of scenes where we see Shadow grow happier and happier while she grows sadder and sadder tell us everything we need to know about Laura. She likes Shadow, but he's nice. And when Laura has something nice in her life, Laura is immediately compelled to destroy that thing. That's why she suggests the casino heist that gets Shadow sent to prison. That's why she starts sleeping with Robbie while Shadow's away. Note the way that Laura only slept with Robbie the second time because he had accepted her statement that they shouldn't. Note also how she was clearly just as bored during her sex with Robbie as she had been that first night with Shadow. It was never about the sex, it was about inviting things into her life that would cause as much damage as possible. When Audrey mentions that she wishes Robbie looked at her the way Shadow looks at Laura, you can feel how little Laura values it. How much she needs to destroy it, in order to prove to herself that she doesn't deserve it. Honestly, season one doesn't give us much in terms of Laura's early background information, and the book gives even less, but note that Laura's mother appears to be at their wedding and her father isn't. I suspect there's a lot of interesting backstory there, and I hope we get more of it in the future. People this self destructive don't just happen for no reason.

And hey, we mentioned Audrey a moment ago. Audrey, and I'll make no bones about this whatsoever, is my absolute favorite character in the show, despite only being in two episodes of the first season. The scene between Audrey and Laura in Audrey's bathroom is absolutely the centerpiece of this episode. That scene works on every conceivable level. It's simultaneously hysterically funny, heartbreakingly sad, and the weirdest thing you're likely to see on television. And it all comes down to the fact that both Betty Gilpin as Audrey and Emily Browning as Laura play the absolute emotional truth of the moment, despite the fact that the moment is a zombie with diarrhea on the toilet in front of the woman whose husband she died while blowing. Oh, and she stopped by to borrow craft supplies. The whole thing is basically, what if The Walking Dead was a production of the Hallmark Channel, and those two actresses make it work. Audrey is confronted with the woman she thought was her best friend but was sleeping with her husband. Who died while betraying her. When Audrey speaks the line 'I found out my husband was cheating on me and dead in the same sentence' you absolutely feel how much pain she's in, and it feels real. Despite the zombie diarrhea and the craft supplies, it feels like genuine emotional damage that she has no idea how to work through. It's amazing.

Then Audrey gets her craft supplies, sews her friend's arm back on for her, and drives her where she needs to go. Because she has no idea how else to respond to the situation. And if anyone is capable of getting through the following exchange without falling in love a little with Audrey, then that person has no soul. As Audrey is sewing her dead friend's arm back on and discussing the way that friend slept with her husband:

Laura: "I feel terrible about it." Audrey: "Oh, F*ck your feelings."

Quotes:

Laura: "Is this your first time trying to rob a casino?" Shadow: "A casino? Yeah." Laura: "Well, you’re really not very good at it."

Shadow: "All l know is there’s more than I know."

Laura: "There’s no farm upstate for old dogs."

Laura: "I have a perfect plan. You will never get caught." Cut to Jail Laura: "How did you get caught?"

Laura: "I lived my life. Good and bad. Definitely not light as a feather."

Audrey: "…Laura?" Laura: "Hey Audrey." Audrey:

Laura: "Audrey. Audrey. Don’t call the police." Audrey: "Get out of my house, you zombie whore!"

Ibis: "Don’t move. You’re still tacky."

Bits and Pieces:

-- Nice fake-out at the beginning with the Egyptian theme casino. The casino's name was 'The 26th Dynasty' Apparently that was the last Egyptian dynasty before they were invaded by the Persians. I don't know if that's at all important, but information is always nice.

-- Mrs. Fadil's post-death scene with Anubis last week served the important function of letting us understand what was happening to Laura this week. It's a little weird that Laura would be the province of an Egyptian death god though. They hand waved it last week with Mrs. Fadil remembering the old stories, but all we get here is that Laura is Anubis' concern because of the manner of her passing. That seems like a curiously specific thing for an Egyptian god to care about. Maybe she had to sign a release when she started working at the casino or something.

-- The hot tub is a visual metaphor for nothingness and oblivion. Watch the episode with that in mind and it opens up a world of interesting interpretations.

-- Do people leave their TVs on for the cats while they're out? It made total sense that it was the death of Dummy the cat, who Laura claimed to not even like, that drove her completely off the rails and into the affair with Robbie.

-- I'm not sure why, but the Egyptian eyes on Laura's work uniform bow tie really freaked me out. Like, to an irrational degree.

-- Laura's dialogue, 'When you die, you rot,' is shown over the images of her and Shadow's wedding. That was a nice directorial touch.

-- I liked the visual cue of Shadow leaving his wedding ring on the statue of the Eifel Tower when he went to the gym. That's a real thing, I take off mine myself to work out.

-- Three episodes later, we find out that it was Laura who killed all of Technical Boy's henchmen and saved Shadow from the lynching. Wow, zombie Laura is apparently quite strong. And can kick you in the balls so hard your entire spinal column flies out the top of your head, which was a funny sight gag.

-- Mr. Jacquel, a.k.a. Anubis, told Laura that after this was all over he would complete his task and send her to oblivion. So now Laura has a matching doom over her head to go with Shadow's promise to let Czernobog smash his head in when it's all over.

-- I'd have liked to have known what happened to Audrey after she and Laura encountered Jacquel and Ibis. I assume she just dropped Laura off and went back home, but it would have been nice to see it.

-- Absent entirely this week - Wednesday, Mad Sweeney, Bilquis, Media, Technical Boy, Czernobog, The Zorya sisters, and Mr. World.

A great episode that gave us a lot of character work and some intriguing answers, but at the expense of paying off the previous episode's cliffhanger.

Three and a half out of four hot tubs.

Mikey Heinrich is, among other things, a freelance writer, volunteer firefighter, and roughly 78% water.