#im not disgusted at the idea of eating eggs the same way i am with meat this far into my vegetarianism

[imjustli]

Dinner should not be eaten this late. Eggs are repulsive to me. I mean I guess they always are, but i can usually ignore it. Now I'm too into the late night thought spirals to deal with it

[songfell-ut]

Chapter 7: more talking

But it’s important talking! Clues are not gotten! A proposition is proposed! And damn, does SpellCheck not like Sans’ dialogue. D:

Chapter link here, hi @lostmypotatoes

When they strolled up to the chapel entrance, the captain on duty was the very one who had been in charge of Sans' cell the day they met. He was discussing the fireworks with one of his subordinates, who looked over the captain's shoulder and got very, very quiet. The skeleton took a great deal of pleasure in waiting for him to turn around, then saying, "Well, hey there. Don't I know ya from somewhere?"

The captain was ready to have a conniption until he spotted Frisk: Sans was leaning far sideways, and she was standing almost on tiptoe, holding the crook of his elbow so that he was escorting her like a proper gentleman. "Your Eminence!" the captain gasped. He looked back and forth between them, hand on his sword hilt. "My lady, where have you been? Has this creature done something to you?"

"He saved me from being ill in front of half the kingdom," Frisk said coolly. "I am fine now, Captain, thanks to his timely intervention. Has the benediction been performed yet?"

"Uh...no, my lady, but—"

"Then I will do so." With her head held high, the High Priestess led the skeleton past the guards and straight into the chapel.

Unsurprisingly, their entrance caused quite a stir. The last verse of the last hymn was starting, and as the pair approached the altar, Frisk signaled for the choir to keep going. The congregation watched, stunned, as Frisk took Sans with her through the ring of guardsmen and stood to one side at the front of the chapel, waiting for the music to end.

She hadn't planned on this, but she wouldn't have done it any differently; it was impossible not to smirk a little. The boss monster must have felt the same way, because he bent down to say, under the cover of song, "Didn't think I'd get t'walk ya down the aisle today."

"You do know that a girl's father does that for her, not the groom?" she murmured back, and Sans looked so chagrined that she snrrked again.

The hymn came to a close, and Frisk moved up to read the benediction. She tried to put her facade back on, but she couldn't help smiling; when she formally ended the service, there was more applause than she'd ever heard.

Though the guards prevented anyone from coming up to the altar, she reclaimed Sans and, ignoring all attempts to stop her, went to stand in the back of the chapel to speak with people as they left. Sure enough, despite the presence of her massive escort, there was such a traffic jam around her that Frisk ended up having to move outside the entrance.

Of course, amidst the compliments and well-wishes came several questions about her absence from the middle of the ceremony; enough people knew about Sans' abilities to ask if they'd really seen a woman and/or men vanish from the congregation, and why the people sitting near them had been taken away quietly by armed guards.

Frisk made a quick guess as to what had happened, and that the woman and/or men's families were the ones talking loudly to the guards in the next room. She told the questioner that extraordinary measures had been necessary for everyone's safety, and certain persons had had to be taken into immediate custody—no one had been spirited away to never be seen again, and no one would be, which her listeners seemed willing to believe.

It was also a matter of great speculation why someone would trouble themselves to put on a fireworks display in full daylight, and a time when everyone was in church and wouldn't see them. Luckily, the consensus was that it had been a mistake, and Frisk could feign ignorance along with her parishioners.

More cute, but problematic, was the custom of children offering her little tokens like flowers and ribbons on their way out. There were no pockets in her wretched dress, so her hands filled up quickly, and she could only tuck so many golden flowers behind her ears. On impulse, Frisk started winding the ribbons around Sans' arms instead and tying the flowers on; seeing that Sans was not killing or eating her, the children soon began ignoring the priestess and going straight to the skeleton, decorating his legs and poking flower stems through his wristbones.

Throughout this ordeal, Sans had no idea what to do, so he opted to stand there, expressionless, and do nothing. This happened to be the least threatening and therefore correct option; Frisk checked frequently on the crowd's reactions, but after the first few minutes, no one was frightened at all. Parents were even bowing to Sans and mouthing "Thank you" up at him as they reclaimed their delighted offspring.

The priestess had been sure to speak loud enough for the nearby guardsmen and any curious bystanders to hear, and when it was time to step away from the crowd and confer with His Holiness privately, she didn't have to repeat herself much. That was when she learned that magically infused items had been brought into the chapel in lieu of daggers or crossbows, and how Sans – still bedecked in flowers as he gravely related these particulars – had used his teleportation to thwart their efforts; the three suspects' friends and families had already been escorted upstairs for further questioning.

This last fact turned out to be a slight problem. Frisk had thought the "fireworks" would be easy to trace to anyone who had left the chapel in a hurry a few minutes after her hymn, but it seemed several people had been escorted out for questioning at the same time. Many of them had been loud or troublesome enough for someone to have followed the group out and slipped away without notice.

"Pity. Overall, a job well done, sir," the Cardinal told Sans, and gave the guard captain a look that forced the poor man to say through gritted teeth, "Indeed, sir. Thank you for your service."

"Thank you, Your Holiness. We'll take our leave, then," Frisk said smoothly, giving Sans the slightest tap with her foot. "A Happy All Souls Day to each of you."

Sans mumbled something similar, and with a couple of bows, they were free to go. The priestess was starving, but the second they got back to the workroom, she shuffled at top speed to her dressing room, slammed the door, and peeled the gown off as fast as she could. Her sigh of freedom was so exaggerated and yet genuine that she heard Sans mutter, "Guess it was good fer you, too," which made her laugh till she had to sit down amidst her shoes and catch her breath.

It was strange; by unspoken agreement, neither mentioned their embrace in the hallway, but as she came out in her loosest, oldest dress and they sat down to breakfast, the silence was completely comfortable. They each ate a small pile of soul cakes, some eggs, and then more soul cakes, not stopping until they ran out of milk and Sans finally allowed her to take the basket away.

They sat around for a few minutes afterward, half asleep, with the boss monster lost in thought as he picked flowers off his arms; she knew it was serious when he began shifting around and tapping his heels on the floor. "Hey, Frisk?" He twisted a couple of flower stems together. "How do ya go about gettin' a list of what human's got what monster? It's a Church thing, right?"

Frisk had been sitting cross-legged on the floor to unwind the ribbons around his legs, and stood up slowly to place a handful on the table. She'd known this conversation would have to happen sooner or later, but why did it have to spoil such a nice, quiet moment? "Is there a specific reason you want to know?" she asked cautiously.

"Yeah. One of the people after you was gonna use an ice spell she got from a monster named Snowdrake. The magic felt pretty fresh, not like they drained 'im already and jus' used it now. I figured he must still be alive."

The priestess sat down beside him and picked up another golden flower. "I'm going to be honest with you, Sans, and in return, I ask that you not get too angry with me." He nodded without looking at her, and she continued, "I already asked the Cardinal for those exact records, back when we met him and the King. I am deeply sorry for my phrasing, but I said 'a specific class of goods' because I wanted to be circumspect in front of you. I didn't know what you would say if I asked for a list of all the monsters registered as slaves. It is indeed 'a Church thing,' I am disgusted to say. Again, I apologize for—"

"Nah, you were right, I'd'a gone nuts. Ya don't hafta be so stiff about it. I know ya don't actually think of us as stuff ta buy and sell."

The words were mature enough, but Frisk didn't like the look on his face. "I suppose it's time we had a real talk about this," she said. "I've been thinking it over for years, and I have an idea of what we can do to put an end to the monsters' slavery. Will you hear me out?" He wouldn't answer, and Frisk tugged at his sleeve. "Please, Sans."

The giant skeleton flicked at the pile of flowers, sending them flying across the tabletop and onto the floor. "Fine," he growled. "Talk."

"All right. First, I don't know if you know the exact legalities, so: it is technically against the law to go to the border with the Underground, find a monster, and bring said monster back here to be sold, but it's rarely enforced, and it is legal to sell, buy, or own them. It's definitely a crime to buy or own a monster without registering him or her and paying the proper taxes, and the Church enforces it very strictly. ...Sans, I'm not saying any of this to upset you. I have to be sure you know exactly what we're fighting, and that if you charge out and start liberating monsters, you're going to make everything a thousand times worse. May I explain why?"

His teeth were gnashing so hard that it sounded like metal on metal, not bone. "I am tryin' very hard ta be good right now, kid. Ya better get to the friggin' point soon."

"Very well. The point is that if you decide to free any or all of the monsters and you kill a human in the process, not only will you go from an emissary to a wanted criminal, you'll reinforce everyone's fears about monsters being dangerous, even the people who left church today thinking that skeletons may not be evil after all. That much fear could very well push the King to declare war."

No reaction. Frisk stopped to pour herself some water, but she was thinking so hard that she just stared at it while she said, "I wouldn't be able to stop them from sealing the Underground and forcing every single monster in it to choose between slavery and starvation. And if you think you could use your magic to free monsters without killing anyone, don't. They'd figure out it was you, and you'd be banished at the very least. Meanwhile, I'd be stripped of my title, forced to pay double the full value of each monster, and imprisoned."

That made him sit back a little, but Frisk was not done by a long shot. "Now, if I thought that money would make the problem go away, I would've done it a long time ago—but no. If I were to buy every monster in the kingdom, it wouldn't stop anyone from going out to get new ones. In fact, it would drive prices so high that humans would be racing to set up camp in the no-man's-land and raid the Underground itself for more slaves. They wouldn't care what the law says. They'd be making more than enough to just pay the fines, or be so numerous that the King couldn't arrest them all. If you tried to fight them off, they'd kill any monsters who attacked them, claim self-defense, and get away with it. No one would stop them because we've gotten so dependent on magic, and right now, humans still think monsters are—"

"Shit on a brick! Fine! I get it. You're right. Yer totally goddamn right." Sans' head sank between his elbows, cheek grating on the table. "So, we play nice 'n let everyone see how cuddly I am, an' a few hundred years from now, humans might like monsters enough ta feed us every single day?"

"I'm getting to that, Sans. By law, monsters must be provided adequate food, water, and shelter, and any accommodations their unique biology may require. They're also not supposed to be used to commit crimes. If someone used Snowdrake's magic to fashion illegal weapons, I can have him confiscated and placed in my custody, and I'll register his new location as a house I own on the outskirts of the city. How long would it take you to make one round trip from here to the house and the Underground, and back? Could you do it, say, overnight?"

"Hmm. Yeah, it'd just take a lot outta me." Frisk couldn't help noting that he now considered it a given he'd be coming right back, and allowed herself to be very happy for a moment before he went on, "With Snowdrake, G—the doctor already told 'em to find whoever took his magic for that spell. So that's already happenin', which just leaves...how many monsters are there here?"

"I don't know the exact total offhand. I promise to show you the records as soon as the Cardinal gives them to me, if you promise you won't use them to do anything rash, which I define as 'anything you know Frisk does not want you to do.' For the immediate future, the best plan of action would be to check the conditions each one is being kept in and see if we can legally take any more of them. We'd need to do it before word gets out and everyone suddenly starts behaving perfectly—that's what usually happens when I try to order surprise inspections."

"Great, but when can we get started on makin' this shit illegal t'begin with?"

"When we have enough political support. We need people to feel that it's wrong to keep monsters like animals, even if they're well-treated, and we also have to be prepared when they ask, 'But where will we get our magic?' Part of the answer will be the natural power sources you and the doctor are working on now, which he should be able to formally present to the King before you leave. But also..." She trailed off, her throat closing up with sudden nervousness.

Sans lifted a hand. "What? Spit it out."

Frisk's heart was pounding. She knew Sans wouldn't like this part, but if she couldn't convince him, the entire plan was sunk. How to begin?

Something occurred to her, and without thinking hard enough, she said, "I'm sorry for the comparison, but it reminds me of Luke and his birds." He stiffened, and she hastened to add, "Don't get me wrong—monsters are not pets, and I'm not suggesting you stay confined in any way, but it's a valid example of working within the constraints of supply and demand. If we can't eliminate the demand for magic, we need to supply it without exploiting monsters, and we have to make it as painless a transition as we can. In this case, not only do we work on wind and solar generation, we..." A deep breath, almost a gulp. "...have monsters give magic voluntarily. You could sell it to us, or perhaps trade it as part of a peace agreement, or for food, until we learn to make enough for ourselves. Partners, not slaves."

Sans didn't move. "...Partners?"

One word, nothing more. Frisk's heart sped up until she felt sick. The boss monster was sitting stock-still, but the air around him started to turn faintly red, smelling like heat lightning. Frisk made herself say, "You hate humans. I know that. I won't claim to know exactly what you're feeling, but I—"

"Ya couldn'a picked a worse monster fer this. Ya know that?" The skeleton turned his head, and Frisk flinched: his right socket was blank, and the left was solid crimson, the same color as his blaster the day he'd been prepared to kill her and all the guards in his prison cell. "Lemme tell ya somethin', kid. I'll admit that you've been treatin' me right, and I don't mind bein' cutesy 'n nice once in a while if it'll make other monsters safer." His fist slammed into the solid oak tabletop, leaving a dent. "But I'll be fucked in the eye 'fore I go back ta Asgore and say, 'Hey, maybe they'll quit squeezin' us out like jelly rolls and leavin' us to scream ourselves inta dust, we just hafta promise we'll be good helpers!' Are ya kidding me, Frisk? This whole time, you've been plannin' to end slavery by gettin' us ta whore ourselves out instead?!"

The priestess' ears were ringing. She hadn't seen or felt him this angry since the day they met. Should she back off, try to placate him, and wait to bring it up again later—maybe shelve it entirely till she could talk with another monster?

No. She knew Sans. If she left things like this – especially if she apologized for proposing it – she'd be all but telling him that he was right to be angry with her, and he wouldn't have to face the possibility that he was unfairly pointing a lifetime of hatred in her direction. Not only would that gall her on a personal level, it'd unbalance him even further, maybe to the point where she couldn't reach him anymore. Nice, quiet moments were all well and good, but she had to be able to talk to him about difficult things, not just chess and stupid jokes!

Frisk pressed her lips together, burning with determination. She turned to face the boss monster, though they were so close that she had to tip her head back. "I don't know what else you expected, Sans," she said firmly. "As things are now, monsters have no future. Short of killing literally every human alive, the only way for you to live in peace is to live with us and make the best of it. You don't have to like it, but you do have to acknowledge reality. May I ask if you have any better ideas?"

His eye was starting to leak a fine red mist. "Mmm, I dunno about every human. We could start small, maybe a few hundred, work our way up."

That reminded her—partly out of curiosity and partly to distract him, she asked, "After you were imprisoned, did you stay put for all that time because you were waiting to kill whoever came to get you out?"

"Ding ding ding! Smart lady. Mostly." Sans suddenly reached down for her face. Frisk held steady as those huge, slightly pointed phalanges brushed her temple. "I did wanna get more information before I busted out, maybe identify who all had magic so I could kill 'em later." Something rustled her hair as Sans removed one of the golden flowers still tucked behind her ear, lifting it all the way back up to his eye level. "But I mostly wanted ta see exactly what kinda person thought they could box me up like yer little dumbshit boyfriend 'n his stupid-ass birds." A giant, horrible grin. The flower evaporated in a cloud of fine ash. "Then I was gonna snap their arms 'n legs an' wring their head off, nice 'n slow."

Frisk dug her nails into the ball of her thumb, controlling her own anger and, yes, fear. She had to stay calm and think very, very carefully about what she did next. She'd been trained in mediation—what was it Sister Maribelle had said? "Pay attention to little asides or silly demands that they refuse to concede. There you'll often find the real heart of the matter."

All right. She had anticipated some resistance to her proposition, but nothing this violent. Yes, he hated humans, and she hadn't touched that nerve so much as sucker-punched it. But why had he mentioned Luke like that, and why did he sound so bitter? Was he that offended at her comparing monsters to captive birds? Or...

...Good Lord. He couldn't be...jealous, could he? There was no way—but even if he was, why bring it up now? This argument had nothing to do with—

Unbidden, her mind flashed back to that moment in the hallway. She'd needed comfort so badly, and with someone she trusted right at hand, she'd been selfish enough to take it. Her body tingled at the memory of his hand resting on her back as she clung to him, and...

She still didn't understand what had happened to her heart. It didn't seem the kind of poetic, butterflies-in-the-stomach attraction she'd read about; this was literal attraction, keeping her against him for as long as possible. It'd felt absolutely wonderful, but a little frightening, like her – what did the monsters call it? – like her SOUL was literally stuck to him, and would tear loose from her chest if she tried to pull away. Was that normal? Maybe it was why so many romantic songs and poems mentioned a moment lasting forever...

Frisk shook herself. He'd been very patient with her hugging him, and pushed her away as lightly as usual, but she couldn't ask that of him again. There was no point speculating exactly how else he'd felt about it, or imagining anything more.

But there was a point in speculating about how Sans felt now. He'd had to get up early to sit around with someone who was clearly interested in her and who she hadn't done much to discourage—probably a bit annoying, but not problematic until she went and threw herself into his arms just a few hours later. It had probably come off as mixed signals at best, and leading him on or using him at worst. She could only suppose that it was still bothering him on some level, and then she'd brought it up amidst the stress of talking about monsters and slavery...

Well, Frisk wasn't going to give him a free pass to say or do whatever he wanted, but she wasn't nearly as angry anymore. "I won't apologize for having a workable plan towards peace, but I am sorry for likening you to birds," she said, keeping her voice quiet enough that he had to focus to hear it. "Lord Owen was a poor example, too. I don't even know if I'd like to see him again," she added.

Sans' aura receded ever so slightly, his brow creasing. "Why's that?" he rumbled, adding too late, "Not like I care. We're gettin' off topic."

Frisk was a little surprised herself. She let Sans see her hesitation as she thought out loud. "It's...tiny things. He's so perfect on paper, but..."

"But what?" snapped the skeleton.

"He didn't say 'Please' to the maid. No one in his family ever does," Frisk remarked. "They're not at all cruel to their servants, or even rude, necessarily. They just—and another thing. When he was moving my hand for Ruby to perch on, he was too rough. He scratched me a little when he took my bracelet off, which reminds me that I left it there. Wonderful." Despite herself, Frisk closed her eyes. Through the adrenaline of fighting with a volatile boss monster, she could feel exhaustion hovering on the periphery, clouding her judgment and keeping the words flowing: "You're almost twice his size, and you never manhandle me like that. He'd be more considerate if I asked him to, but I don't like his presumption. Did you notice how he smacks his lips when he eats? And unless he's changed completely in less than a year, his sense of humor is boring." She cracked one eye open, suppressing a yawn. "I know I'm being spoiled and ridiculous, but I can't help it. He's rich, he's very kind, and his whole family would welcome me with open arms. I've dreamed of having a family my whole life! But, still, he just seems...adequate. Am I wrong for wanting more than that?"

Sans tilted his head at her. His eye was still pulsing red, but he was clearly thinking something over; she didn't know whether to be hopeful or put up a preemptive barrier.

A long moment later, with an even more visible effort, he pulled the scarlet haze almost all the way back into his bones. "I got an idea, too," he said roughly. "You an' me ain't gonna talk about this 'partner' crap any more, 'cause there's no point. But you tell yer King what ya just told me, if ya haven't already. Get the plans squared away for convertin' all yer shit to run on good ol' Mother Nature, not from breakin' anyone's ribs an' tearin' their SOUL out." His eye dimmed. "I'll take ya back to the Underground with me an' get you in ta see Asgore. Then you can ask him what he thinks about it."

Frisk felt the blood drain from her face. "You...you want me to go to the Underground and speak with your King?"

He nodded shortly. "I won't lie t'ya, Frisk. I fuckin' hate yer plan. I'd never go along with it. But maybe he would, and he's the one in charge." The skeleton snorted. "And nah, I don't have any better ideas. Just...come back with me."

The thought of going to the Underground, and the way he said it—something in her chest unclenched, and just as swiftly squeezed itself back into a knot. Suddenly, all the exhaustion, tension, and frustration she'd been holding back threatened to boil over, and to her embarrassment, her eyes filled with tears.

The red vanished, all of it. "Frisk?" Sans leaned over her, orange pinpricks reappearing in his sockets. "C'mon, kid, don't do this again!"

"What if—" She had to stop and swallow a few times. "What if I'm tired, and you've just made my life a lot more complicated, and I need to 'do this again'?"

"Oh, I'm the complicated one?" Sans looked ready to launch into another tirade, but Frisk sniffled and rubbed her eyes, and the skeleton covered with his face with his hand instead. "O-kay. Ya know what I think? I think we both need a traditional All Souls nap. Sleepin's a good way ta honor dead people, right? It's all they do."

That startled a laugh out of her. "I'd argue if I could." She scrubbed her eyes again. "I need to think about this. It'd be quite an undertaking, but...who knows? I've already made you an emissary against your will. Maybe I can return the favor."

Sans perked up so much that she wondered if he was being sarcastic. But no, he just answered, "Sure, take all the time ya need. I'm still stayin' another, what, twenty days? That's forever." More somberly, he picked a golden flower from behind her other ear. "You'd be way better at it 'n me. King Asgore's not the same nice guy he used ta be, but I think he'd listen to ya. Either way, me 'n Tori would keep you safe," he said quietly.

Dirt. Frisk scratched her cheek where the petals had brushed it, wondering for the hundredth time how someone so big could move with that kind of gentle dexterity. She couldn't handle this right now. "I don't know," she tried to say, but her voice cracked.

The skeleton looked a little panicked. He glanced at the tabletop, guiltily moving a plate to cover the dent he'd made. "Nap time," he muttered.

Frisk nodded. Without another word, she rose and went into the office, and shut the door. She slid down against it to the floor, and tried not to burst into tears, or look at the couch, or think of the rosewood box hidden beneath the floorboards. But how could she not when he had flat-out asked her to go back with him?

That damned box. "For you to reclaim, or not," the Mother Superior had said the day Frisk left the convent.

Why had the old woman given it back to her? Why hadn't they thrown it away?

Why hadn't Frisk thrown it away?

What would happen if she just had Sans smash it? Would the orb evaporate, or would everything hit her at once? The thought was terrifying. She knew all too well that the women who ran the convent were neither sentimental nor faint-hearted; she couldn't imagine the state she must've been in for them to take that much. It had to have been literal life or death.

Frisk shook her head, giving one last sniff. Sans was right. She did need a nap. But when she thought of staying in here alone on the couch again, more tears started leaking out until she wanted to howl like a small child—again, the way she probably had when they first brought her to St. Brigid's.

This wouldn't do. The priestess wiped her eyes on her threadbare skirt and got to her feet. She didn't care if she woke Sans, he could always—

When she opened the door, she was met with a gigantic ribcage and a huge hand curled up in her face, ready to knock. Frisk leapt back with a little squeak. "Don't do that!" she cried.

Sans had also jumped back. "What the crap?! Ya scared me half t'death!"

They glared at each other for a moment. Then Frisk's mouth twitched, and Sans tried to scowl, but snickered, and soon they were both laughing helplessly, leaning against the doorframe and the worktable, respectively. "Okay, okay," the boss monster managed. "If ya really hafta have another slumber party, c'mon."

Frisk giggled again, wiping her now-raw eyes. "Is that what you were doing? Inviting me back over?"

"Well..." The skeleton headed towards the bedroom, scratching the back of his skull. "I can't do my job when yer in another room, am I?" He opened the door wider for her. "'Sides, Pap's not here, an' I can't fall asleep unless I've been buggin' someone."

The priestess gave him a watery smile. "I missed you, too."

Sans turned an interesting shade, and muttered a general denial of missing anybody, which she ignored. "Hey, hold on a sec," he said as Frisk retrieved a large quilt and climbed into bed. "Where's yer fort?"

She stole the single pillow and plunked it down on the far side of the mattress. "It's a pretend fort." The young woman lay down facing him and shook out the quilt, draping it over herself and scrunching the corners into a sort of burrow. "There. I can't see you, and you can't see me," she said through the top, and yawned. "Come on. Don't make me put you to sleep."

Sans' mouth opened and closed a few times. "What, ya mean—"

"I mean that I'm tired, and so are you, so get into bed and be quiet. That's how naps work."

"But—"

"Sans."

The skeleton didn't bother arguing further. He stood for a moment, and turned to leave. He stopped. He shook his head, and reached for the doorknob.

A movement from deep within the quilt was his only warning before the now-familiar vibrations swept through him and his hand drooped, hanging limp at his side. She was cheating: her humming was too muffled to hear if he went any further out of the room. Telling himself this was against his will, Sans shut and locked the bedroom door, went back to the bed, and stretched out in his usual spot, letting his eyes close and his SOUL soften as the sound lapped at him.

It was so nice to be safe with someone besides Papyrus, especially in a room big enough for him. He knew better than to be this happy with a human, and yet the thought of her really, actually coming home with him made him want to...he didn't know what, because he was out of practice at happiness. Smile, maybe? No, it was a deeper-down feeling than that. Grabbing her was out of the question. Sans tried to think of something else happy people were supposed to do, only to find that he couldn't move past the grabby option.

What did come to him was that quiet image of Kris holding his hand and beaming up at him. Yep, it still hurt. Hadn't he learned his lesson? He and Papyrus – all the monsters – had loved their little human buddy, and then he was gone, taking a tiny chunk of their SOULs with him.

It's not gonna happen this time, the boss monster argued with himself. We couldn't have stopped those assholes from taking Kris away 'cause he was a kid. She's the High damn Priestess, and if she wants to be Underground, we just have to tell the Kings to go to hell, and no one else can tell her what to do. She won't have to leave, and she doesn't have to marry that scratchy little prick!

The humming paused as Frisk pulled back the quilt to check if he was asleep. Sans grunted to let her know to keep going.

A patient sigh; the quilt came back up. "Sans?" she murmured.

"Hm?" The skeleton opened a citrine eye. "Wha?"

"Will you take me to the festival this evening? We can sleep until then, I promise."

"Hmm. D'I hafta put skin back on?"

"Yes, if you can. I don't want to make a scene. I just want to walk around, get some cider, and have my fortune told."

That made him open his other eye. "Fortune?"

"It's an All Souls tradition, a real one." Yawn. "There's a man, he charges too much, but everything he says..." Another yawn. "I have an important question. Don't want advice. Want to know what'll happen if I do or don't...something."

"Don't we all." Sans yawned, too. "Sure, we c'n go. Skin."

"Thank you."

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever ya want."

The humming resumed. As the world went fuzzy around the edges, Sans wondered idly what would happen if she did meet someone she liked. Couldn't he just kill the guy? If it happened a couple times in a row, word would get around, and she'd never have to marry anybody.

Yes. That was the perfect solution. Everything was perfect. Ignoring a little shiver of apprehension, Sans gave up thinking, and was asleep in moments.

[ask-de-writer]

SEA DRAGON’S GIFT : Part 64 of 83 : World of Sea

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SEA DRAGON’S GIFT

Part 64 of 83

by

De Writer (Glen Ten-Eyck)

140406 words

copyright 2020

written 2007

All rights reserved.

Reproduction in any form, physical, electronic or digital is prohibited without the express consent of the author.

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All sorts of fan art, cosplay, music or fiction is actively encouraged.

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New to the story?  Read from the beginning.  PART 1 is here

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Kurin watched her unbar the door of the cabin as she thought about it.  She said, “No, I don’t think so.  He used to be my friend.  I just wish that I understood how things went so wrong.”  She looked a mute appeal at Tanlin and added, “How could he hate me so?  I never did anything to him.”

Tanlin paused before opening the door.  She considered before answering, “Nae t’ ‘ear Silor tell t’e tale.  ‘E believes t’at ye were t’e author o’ all o’ ‘is misfortunes.  According t’ ‘im, ye were a Dragon-wicken an’ ‘eld t’e ‘ole Naral fleet in t’e palm o’ yer ‘and.”

Kurin was taken aback.  “You mean it?” she asked.  “What could put him so far onto dry land?”

Tanlin looked at Kurin with pity in her eyes.  “Oi’ve been tryin’ t’ tell ye.  ‘E’s insane w’ere ye are concerned.  ‘E believes ‘imsel’ a tragic ‘ero, persecuted for ridding t’e fleet o’ a deadly an’ unperceived menace.”

“Lady Tanlin,” came a forlorn voice from within the cabin, “I can hear you out there.  Who is with you?  Has the fleet come to their senses yet?”

Tanlin opened the cabin door, leaned in, and said, “Silor, someane ‘as come t’ speak wit’ ye.  She’ll be representin’ t’e Grandalor before a fleet tribunal.  Will ye tell ‘er t’e exact trut’ o’ yer involvement in t’e poisoning?  ‘T may ‘elp our case.”

Silor’s voice answered, calm and assured, “Of course I will talk to her but it is a waste of time.  No case will be needed.  The Witch is dead and in a short time her curses will be gone.  When people are themselves again, they will know themselves freed.”

Kurin spoke from out in the hall where Silor couldn’t see her.  “Silor, you were a good student at learning to navigate by wave and current. Do you know where we are?”

He replied with confidence, “We are in the Dragon Sea.  It was clever of Captain Barad to bring us here.  No fleet owns these waters.  We will be safe here.”

“What of the Great Sea Dragons?  If Mecat taught the witch, perhaps they will not like your having killed her,” Kurin said.

“Dragons live too long to care much about any particular human.  They won’t care one way or the other,” Silor replied airily.

“I’m afraid that you’re wrong about that, Silor,” said Kurin, stepping into his view.

“You’re dead,” he said flatly.  “Nobody can survive Ord poisoning.  Your dying is why the Grandalor had to flee in the first place.”

“No,” Kurin contradicted, “I lived.  The sailor that you duped into poisoning me is the one who died.”

Silor looked at her in dread and leaped at the conclusion that fit his delusion.  “You turned the Ord against the man who poisoned you!” he accused.

“I didn’t have to,” Kurin said quietly.  “The Corliss fleet knows how to heal Ord poisoning.  Sula carried me to her ship and Doctor Worran cured me.  The sailor that you gave the poisoned awl to wasn’t so lucky.  He got the poison through his shirt from carrying the awl in his pocket.  It got to his lungs first.  The doctor tried but she couldn’t save him.”

A wild glint entered Silor’s eyes and he shouted, “Don’t lie!  It was you!  You and that evil Dragon magic!  You killed him just like you did your father!”

Kurin recoiled as if she had been struck.  The very idea that she would have harmed her father was past simply shocking.  It was truly sickening and called to mind her mother’s accusations as she sank into madness.

Silor bunched his legs under him as he paused for breath.  “What does it take to kill you?” he screamed, lunging at Kurin, arms outstretched, hands clawed.

“More’n ye’ve got, Lad!” said Tanlin as she pounced almost into his path and grabbed his arm as he passed, spinning him headfirst into the wall.  Kimson landed on top of him and Tanlin calmly pulled her knife from concealment.  She laid its blade against Silor’s throat and added, “Mister Kimson’s goin’ t’ get off o’ ye, an’ ye’re goin’ t’ get onto yer bunk very slowly.  I’ ye try t’ ‘arm Kurin again, ye die.  Clear?”

Tears of rage and frustration in his eyes, Silor mutely nodded.  Carefully, Kimson released Silor, who slowly got to his feet and sat on his bunk.

Dully, he asked, “I heard whales, who else has she killed?”

As Kurin was about to protest, Tanlin waived her to silence and answered, “Nane.  We lost ane killed outright an’ ane mortal injured.  Yer Longin did t’ose murders an’ some ot’er injuries as well.

“Just gettin’ Kurin ‘ere ‘ad a ‘eavy price.  Macoul t’e steersman died o’ a cut t’roat an’ Lenai Halin died later o’ an abdominal wound.”

That brought a reaction of disgust from Silor.  “So, the witch got to you too?  She made you sacrifice good people just to finish her revenge on me?”

At that, Kurin would not be silent.  “Revenge?  What for?  No witchcraft is needed.  I never lifted a finger against you.  You bring yourself down!”  Bitterly, she added, “If I was a witch, I’d have just changed you so that you wouldn’t care.”

“You knew that I was here on the Grandalor!  How?”

“You were careless.  You were seen at the Gathering,” Kurin retorted angrily.  “Even the sailor that you killed told us it was you before he died.  You are under the same execute on sight order that you got put onto Barad and all the officers of this ship with your murder plot.”

That brought Silor up short.  “Barad?  He tried to stop us.  Why would the Council order him executed?”

Tanlin burst in, icily angry, “M’ too, as an officer o’ t’e Grandalor.  We’re all t’ be executed on sight because o’ ye. Our ‘ope lies in Kurin’s ‘ands an’ t’e jaws o’ t’e Dragons.  T’e Dragons ‘ave let us ‘arbor ‘ere in neutral woters but we cannae go t’rough t’em t’ escape t’e justice o’ a fleet t’at seems t’ ‘ave nane.”

Silor began to whimper and curl up.  “I tried to save you all.  I never wanted to hurt anybody…”  He uncurled an accusing arm, pointing at Kurin.  “If she is your hope, you are as doomed as I am. . .”  He collapsed, eyes rolled back in his head, still breathing but showing no other sign of life.

Shaking and slapping elicited no response.  Silor was gone where none could follow.

Sadly Tanlin said to a thoroughly shocked Kurin, “Oi warned ye.  ‘E wa’ so far ont’ dry land t’at not’ing could bring ‘im bock t’ safe woter.”  She looked grimly down at Silor’s still form and reached a decision.

“Oi’m proof t’at Doctor Corin can care for a person in a coma.  T’he doctor’ll care for ‘im until ‘e recovers or simply dies.” She turned to Kimson.  “Guard ‘im until men come t’ take ‘im t’ sickbay.  See t’at ‘e’s restrained after ‘e’s taken t’ere.”  

She led Kurin back to the Captain’s cabin.  Barad was out and they had the place to themselves.  Tanlin ordered food and drink for Kurin and then said, “T’at wa’ awful.  Oi wad never ‘ave guessed t’at ‘e wad just retreat like t’at.  Wat now?”

Kurin had no answer.  She simply sat and shook, crying inside but not allowing the tears to reach the surface.

Sympathetically, Tanlin sat by her and held her hand.

With a bit of scratching at the window, Thunderhead entered the cabin with a skelt in his beak.  Tanlin looked up at the big Sea Hawk and smiled.

“Ye’re right, T’under’ead.  She does need lookin’ after just now. T’anks for t’e ‘elp.”  She took the small fish and held it out to Kurin.  “‘Ere, youngster.  Take a bite so ‘e’ll know t’at ‘e’s ‘elped.  Friends ‘oo’re ‘urt need food t’ get well.  Tis all t’at ’e knows ‘ow t’ do for ye.”

“It’s raw,” Kurin said, a bit of smile beginning to show around the edges of her shock.

“T’at’s ‘ow tis best for young birds,” said Tanlin tolerantly.  “Go on, ‘e’s really tryin’ t’ ‘elp.”

Kurin took a small bite of the fish and realized that the skelt was good, even raw.  She set to nibbling around the coarse bones until most of the meat was gone, Thunderhead watching critically.  Tanlin absently scratched him under the right wing.

By the time that she was done with the fish, Kurin had a grip on herself.  The distraction provided by the somewhat comic antics of the bird and having to eat as well, helped.

There was a knock at the cabin door and Benj, the cabin-boy entered with a tray.  It had sliced, hard-boiled paddle duck eggs, red-weed bread and dried fillets of skelt for Kurin to eat.  Beside the water bottle were sweet and tart flavors.

By the time that she was done eating the simple fare, Kurin had regained her composure.  She gave Tanlin a measuring look.

“I have all the information that I am likely to get,” Kurin announced, “and I have begun to outline a multi-issue defense.  You said that you could summon the fleet Council and the Longin.  I would like to see how you do that from here.”

TO BE CONTINUED

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[starrystarrybabe]

Oh, How the Mighty Fall [In Love] CHAPTER SIX (Ben Hardy x OC)

CHAPTER ONE, CHAPTER TWO, CHAPTER THREE, CHAPTER FOUR, CHAPTER FIVE

Lily Anne Mercury is brought in to help with Bohemian Rhapsody at the request of her Uncle Bri and Uncle Rog, and along the way, she might meet someone to share her life with. The only problem with this is that while their friends and the world can see that they’re perfect for each other, they’re going to be fully blind to this for a while.

DISCLAIMER: I’m fully aware that it would’ve been physically impossible for Jim and Freddie to have a child even with this method during the time they were alive, but the idea of Freddie as a dad and the idea of how his child would turn out to be was just too sweet for me to not write.

Hello, everyone! I’m currently writing this to make sure I don’t have a panic attack thinking about all the schoolwork I have to do. It’s finals season and a bitch is stressed. My brain needs a break from all the work I’ve been doing. I hope y’all enjoy this chapter and plz send me messages about the fic or feel free to submit content you want to make regarding the fic and the characters in it!

-- casey

TRIGGERS: implied sex, familial judgment, relapsing, cursing

FACECLAIMS:

Kelly Gale as Lily Anne Mercury

Sira P. Kante as Ezichi Adebayo

Erika Linder as Bronwyn Ryan-Hughes

Bree Kish as Madigan Ryan-Hughes

Lily Anne is a very work-oriented woman. She’s always bound and determined not to waste a single minute, and tries to do as much as she can in one day as humanly possible.

For this reason, she made a recording studio both underneath Garden Lodge and learned how to sound mix and use music making technology for herself, because she does not want to depend on someone else to create the songs for herself and her band.

It is a tradition for everyone in Room 301 to basically move in during the recording time. They’ve done it for years now, and it maximizes efficiency and the amount of content they can produce.

Ezichi is an early riser and often wakes up before the rest of the band, cooking them breakfast and making them tea. She even takes requests from the rest of the band as to what they want to eat and will take out Reykja for a walk before she goes out to pick up the ingredients.

Naturally, Lily Anne is confused by Reykja’s insistent paws pushing her cheek at the crack of dawn instead of Ezichi’s. She even leaves the bedroom door open so that the puppy can jump up on the bed and wake her. When Lily Anne walks out of her room with her tiny dog, she’s confused by the closed door, but figures that maybe Ezichi was worn out and just needed her sleep. It’s understandable that she would get tired of waking up so early.

When Bron and Madi come downstairs two hours later expecting breakfast made by their favorite guitarist and find that the food has been prepared by their frontwoman instead, something is clearly not right.

Lily Anne knocks on Ezichi’s door. “Ezichi? Are you alright?”

She hears the rustling of sheets and a grumble in response.

Lily frowns. “Do you need Advil or something?”

She then hears quieted voices and leans in to try and hear what is being said, and raises a brow when she catches fragments of cursing.

Ezichi clears her throat and speaks up. “N-no, but I could use a cup of tea. My voice feels a little raw.”

Lily presses her lips together before looking down at the cup in her hand. She takes her tea the same way as Ezichi, with soy milk and one sugar packet, and figures that Ezichi could use the cup more than her. “I have a cup right here, I’ll just bring it inside.”

She turns the handle and before Ezichi can protest, enters the room.

A bra falls on her head from the doorway above her, and she takes it off, looking over to see Ezichi with the rumpled covers held up to her chest and her braids out of their usual bonnet, in a mussed up bun. Her underwear is in front of Lily Anne’s slippered feet, and next to her is Gwil, looking away with a beet red face.

He looks at Lily Anne and nods, acknowledging her presence.

Lily Anne nods, back, face neutral. “Hey, Gwil.”

“Hi, Lily,” he replies quietly.

Lily purses her lips and puts the teacup on Ezichi’s bedside table, looking at her friend and giving her a tight-lipped smile.

“Sorry, Lily. I should’ve told you, but you were beyond angry at one of Bron’s song ideas, and I figured--” she begins apologetically, before getting cut off by Lily Anne’s dismissive wave.

“It’s alright, darling. We’re all adults here.” She turns to leave the room and pauses in the doorway. “Anything you two want? Tea? Food? Plan B?”

Gwil speaks up, smiling bashfully at Lily Anne. “Earl Grey tea with one packet of sugar would be just fine.”

Lily Anne nods, leaning against the doorway. “Anything else?”

Ezichi looks down, rubbing the back of her neck with the hand not holding up her covers. “Scrambled eggs and a Plan B, please.”

Lily nods, turning to go downstairs. “Got it. It’ll all be downstairs when you’re ready. I’ll just… close this.” She closes the door and heads downstairs to the kitchen, sitting down and resting her chin in her hand.

Madigan looks over at Lily. “Is she alright?”

Lily nods. “Her and Gwil should be down shortly.”

Bron snorts into her cup of tea, grinning. “I told you that we weren’t the only ones shagging, Mads.”

Lily makes herself another cup of tea to distract herself from the sudden urge to light a cigarette. “You’re washing the sheets, not me, alright?”

Bron smirks at her wife. “They could handle a little more liquid before they need to go in the wash.”

Madigan winks at her wife, and Lily Anne’s face squints up in disgust. “Jesus, Bron! I know it’s happening but I don’t need that much detail.”

The pair giggles and Lily Anne shakes her head. She’d kill for a cigarette right now.

---

Lily Anne throws down her headphones, rubbing her temples as she listens to the track of her singing. She’s tried to make this line sound perfect twenty times already, but it just isn’t coming out right, and she’s at the end of her rope.

“It sounds great, Lily! Can we just move on?” Bron asks from her reclined position on the couch, her head in her wife’s lap.

Lily shakes her head, turning around to face her. “No! It sounds like garbage, Bron. It’s not right yet. How do you not notice it?”

Ezichi and Madi look at each other, and Ezichi speaks up. “It’s good, Lily. I don’t see why you’re so upset about it.”

Lily Anne wrings her hands, groaning and covering her face.

Madigan stands up, placing a hand on Lily’s shoulder. “Why don’t we move on to another song, Lily? What about that one you just wrote?”

Lily looks up at her friend. “Which one?”

Madi smiles. “The one you named Waiting Room.”

Lily groans. “I can’t do that right now, or I swear to god I might cry.”

Ezichi shrugs. “That track could be really good, though! You’re in the right mood to sing it.”

Bron sits up. “Who knows? You could have a voice crack like in Gimme Shelter!”

Lily sighs, rubbing her eyes. “I guess… I’m just in a mood today. I’m so sorry that you have to deal with me like this, darlings.”

Ezichi hugs her friend from behind, resting her chin on the shorter woman’s shoulder. “It’s no problem, Lily. We put up with it because we love you unconditionally.”

Just then, Lily gets a text, and pulls out her phone.

Jamal (#1 cousin): are you coming to the reunion today? a bunch of cousins from Zanzibar are coming over to visit.

Jamal is her cousin, and one of her favorite members of her biological family. Lily frowns at the text. She didn’t get any notification that her family was getting together today before now.

Lily Anne: i didnt know this was happening. your mom didn’t say anything about it to me when we spoke last.

Jamal (#1 cousin): they made plans for this literally a week ago. she probably got stressed and forgot to tell you.

Lily Anne: got it. what time is this happening? i should probably do it just to get a break from recording. it’s been a rough day in the studio and nothing good is coming out from me.

Lily Anne looks to her bandmates. “Apparently there’s a family reunion today of my Indian relatives. I should probably go, I haven’t seen them in a while.”

Ezichi removes herself from Lily Anne and raises a brow. “Are you sure? The last time you saw all those people was at your grandmother’s funeral, and that went less than well.”

Lily Anne nods, closing her eyes. “I know, I know… but I’m not doing myself any good wasting time here, and maybe they’ve chosen to be a little less judgemental since Auntie Kash told them off then.”

Madigan sighs, looking over at Lily. “I don’t think going will do you any good, but I’m sure Kashmira and Jamal will appreciate you being there. I know Jer would appreciate it as well.”

Lily nods, smiling. “She always did like seeing me at family events.”

Her phone buzzes again.

Jamal (#1 cousin): it’s in three hours. If you’d like to come early, im sure mom would be happy to help you with your sari and catch up with you. i know i’d love to have some time with you as well before all hell breaks loose.

Lily Anne: got it. I’ll pack up my stuff and be over in a little bit.

Jamal (#1 cousin): great! i’ll tell my mom.

Lily stands up, sighing. “I’m going to the reunion. If you guys want to make music, feel free to record whatever you want, but I am going to take a shower and head on over to my Auntie Kash’s house as soon as possible.”

Ezichi, Bron, and Madi nod, smiling at their friend.

“We’ll record some of the backing tracks and drum lines today. Have fun!” Madi says, smiling.

Lily smiles back at her and leaves the room, pausing at the top of the stairs as she hears her bandmates talking.

“She’s in a mood because she didn’t come last night like the rest of us,” Bronwyn says.

Lily Anne frowns and shouts downstairs. “You’re an absolute wanker, Bron!”

“At least I’m not a sexually frustrated one!” Bron shouts back up at her.

Lily Anne stomps away, slamming the door with a huff.

She really wants a cigarette.

---

When she gets to Kashmira’s house, she knocks on the door, holding a bag with her sari inside of it. Her cousin Jamal opens the door and grins, hugging her. She gladly hugs him back.

“You’ve been a stranger as of late,” Jamal says when they pull apart. He points to her arm. “Is that a new tattoo?”

Lily Anne nods, smiling. “It is! I got it in New York after performing at Madison Square Garden, in memory of Jim and Freddie. It’s a tree-mallow and a zinnia.”

Jamal smiles, admiring the tattoo. “I like it. Were those their favorite flowers?”

Lily Anne nods, smiling. “Yep. Tree-mallow was Jim’s, and zinnias were Freddie’s.”

1994

Lily Anne sits in the dirt with a large sunhat on, making a small hole in the ground as her father coaches her through how to do it.

“Now what we do is we-- no, we don’t put a worm in the pocket of our overalls, put him back in the hole-- we put in the seeds,” Jim says, placing five zinnia seeds into Lily’s open palm as he takes the squirming creature and puts it in the dirt. “Drop them in, love.”

Lily Anne does as she’s told, and looks up at her father with big brown eyes. “What next, Daddy?”

Jim smiles and points to the pile of dirt next to the hole. “Take the dirt and cover the seeds, and pat it all in.”

Lily Anne nods and takes handfuls of dirt in her tiny hands, putting it back in the hole and using one hand to pat in the dirt gently. Then, Jim leans down and waters the dirt, and Lily Anne giggles, putting her hands out to turn the dirt on her fingers into mud. She does this and laughs, rubbing her hands together and clapping, splattering her face and overalls with specks of mud. She then looks up at her father, eyes wide.

“Whoops,” she says, lisping on the ‘s’. “Sorry, Daddy. I ruined my overalls.”

Jim smiles, shaking his head. “Don’t worry, flower. Gardening is all about getting messy. We can wash the overalls.”

Jim would call his daughter flower, since she was not only named after one, but Freddie loved watching Jim plant different kinds of flowers and take care of them. They named her Lily because that was the first flower Jim ever planted at Garden Lodge. It seemed only fitting to call this lovely little girl flower.

Lily Anne smiles wide, and puts some dirt on her cheeks, giggling. She loves getting messy, and this is one activity where she won’t get scolded for getting her clothes dirty. She’ll take advantage of the opportunity to go wild in the dirt if her dad allows it.

Jim laughs, holding her wrists. “Not that messy, flower! Let’s get you cleaned up, alright?”

Lily Anne giggles, and hugs her father as he picks her up, bringing her inside.

---

“Daddy?” Lily Anne asks, abandoning her rubber ducky to face her father.

“What is it, flower?” Jim asks, putting shampoo in his hands to wash her hair. He gestures for her to turn around, and she does.

“What kinda flower did we plant today?” she asks, facing the mirrored wall. She can see her father’s face become soft, and a smile graces his lips.

“We planted a zinnia flower, love,” he tells her as he begins lathering up her hair.

“Is that the yellow one you always grow?” she asks, smiling.

Jim nods, and uses cups of water to wash out the suds in her hair. “Yes, it is. You’re very smart, flower.”

Lily Anne grins, revealing a smile with teeth that are beginning to grow in every direction.

Jim looks at the photo of Freddie he has on the toilet seat beside him before looking down at his daughter. “Do you know why we plant zinnia flowers, Lily?”

Lily purses her lips, her little face scrunching up in concentration. After a few moments, she shakes her head. “No, Daddy. Did you tell me why already?”

Jim thinks for a moment before shaking his own head. “No, I don’t think I have, flower.” He washes his hands in the bath water before grabbing her conditioner. “We plant zinnias because they were your Papa’s favorite flower.”

Lily Anne turns, grinning. “Really?”

Jim smiles and nods, beginning to lather up her hair again. “Yes, Lily.”

Lily smiles, and becomes quiet after a moment, resting her chin on her knees. Her facial expression changes to one of deep thought, and she blinks, looking down. Jim becomes concerned and once he’s done washing out the conditioner in her hair, gently takes one of her cheeks in his hand and turns her to face him.

“What is it, flower? You’re thinking very loudly,” he asks, sitting cross-legged on the fuzzy bath mat to be eye level with her.

“Did Papa see me plant that flower?” she asks.

Jim takes a moment to think and smiles gently at his daughter. “I think he did.”

Her eyes light up, and she moves quickly, splashing Jim in the process. Her chin rests on the edge of the tub. “Did I make him happy?”

Jim nods, holding out a towel for his daughter. “You always make him happy, flower.”

She climbs out of the tub and lets her father wrap the warm towel around her, giggling when he begins to dry her hair. “No matter how old and wrinkly I get, I’ll still make him happy?”

Jim nods, wrapping a towel around her hair. “You will always make him happy, Lily Anne.”

Lily looks up at her father. “Will I always make you happy, Daddy?”

Jim kisses her cheek. “Of course, flower. You could never disappoint me.”

Lily smiles as her Aunt Kashmira helps her with her sari, pleating the black fabric around her waist. She’s been catching up with her aunt and holds back a giggle as the older woman’s hands touch her sensitive waist.

Kashmira smiles, looking at her niece fondly. “You’re almost thirty years old and you’re still as ticklish as you were when you were a child.”

Lily Anne grins and allows her aunt to place the fabric over her shoulder, smoothing it out. “I’m almost thirty years old and I still can’t put on my own bloody sari.”

Kashmira shrugs and hands Lily Anne some heavy gold bracelets to put on her wrists. “Saris can be difficult. Especially this one. Your grandmother always did like the more delicate garments.”

Lily Anne nods, and looks in the mirror, admiring herself in Jer’s sari. “Didn’t my Papa help her pick out this one?”

Kashmira nods, smiling fondly. “That he did. She thought that the black with the gold and red would be too much, but Freddie told her that it would help her fit in at his concerts.”

Lily puts on some of Jer’s old earrings, and the gold ornaments dangle heavily on her lowest piercings, causing her to wince. “I always forget how bloody heavy these damn earrings are.”

Kashmira passes a large nose ring to Lily and smiles. “Here’s the final touch to your outfit, dear.”

Lily groans, but puts in the nose ring anyways, looking at herself in the mirror. “Auntie Kash, you’ve made me look like a proper Indian woman.”

Kashmira nods. “I may have gone overboard, but with the whole family coming….” She looks down, concerned. “They’ll still judge you, but at least you’re dressed like you just got off the plane from Zanzibar.”

Lily sighs, looking over at her aunt and holding her hands. “I appreciate you making me look the part, but between the two fathers, my unorthodox career choice, and the fact that I’m only half Indian, one outfit won’t make me any less of the family disappointment. But your efforts are appreciated.”

Kashmira looks tiredly at Lily, squeezing her hands. “I just want a calm family reunion without any drama.”

Lily squeezes her aunt’s hands back and smiles apologetically. “It won’t go down that way and we all know it, Auntie Kash.”

Kashmira nods before groaning, shaking her head. “Oh, shit.”

Lily frowns. “What is it?”

Kash sighs, rubbing her temples. “They have a new reason to throw a fit.”

Lily looks down, pursing her lips before her eyes widen in fear. “Oh, no. Is Jamal dating a non-Indian girl?”

Kashmira shakes her head. “No. But the tabloids have caught wind that you’re dating a non-Indian boy.”

Lily rolls her eyes, groaning. “First of all, the tabloids are full of bollocks. I’m not dating anyone at the moment.”

Kash raises a brow and crosses her arms. “Then what is your relationship with that Hardy boy? Because it looks pretty romantically charged to me.”

Lily sits on her aunt’s bed. “We’re just friends, Auntie Kash. No more, no less.”

Kashmira looks at her niece skeptically. “I heard that you two are trying to quit smoking together from Brian.”

Lily nods, looking up at the older woman. “That’s true! We are. So far, we haven’t broken, and it’s been a few months.”

Kash is quiet for a moment and sits down next to her niece. “I’ve also heard from Roger that when you weren’t on set, he was very much upset about it.”

Lily Anne scoffs. “Roger is full of bollocks and we all know it.”

Kashmira looks over at Lily. “The account was confirmed by Brian.”

Lily puts her head in her hands, groaning. “We’re just friends! That’s all! Friends who try to quit smoking together and spend hours in my garden talking about our issues, and walk our dogs together once or twice a week when we’re both around! That’s all we’ll ever be!” She looks up at Kashmira, hunched over.

Kashmira takes a moment before rubbing Lily Anne’s back. “That song you wrote--”

“Was about him. Yes. I wasn’t exactly subtle, and he still hasn’t made a move. Joe told me that he’s in love with me, but until I hear it from him, I will not get my hopes up.” Lily Anne huffs, shaking her head.

“Have you ever considered making the first move?” Kash asks gently.

Lily Anne looks at her aunt like she’s crazy. “And risk getting my heart broken? Hell fucking no! I’ve been there, done that, and I hated it. I give it a zero out of ten.”

Kash sighs, looking down at her niece. “Listen. I don’t know this boy, but he seems very nice, and different from the other men you’ve dated before. I think he’s just scared.”

Lily Anne stands up, gesturing to herself. “I am an average twenty-nine-year-old, racially ambiguous woman with a meager height of five foot two. I sage my bloody house and garden daily like an old woman. I go to an animal shelter once a week to pet all the animals. What’s so scary about me?”

Kashmira looks up at her niece. “You are a stunning young woman with a voice gifted to you from the gods and a stage presence that is one of the most powerful of any artists in this time. You’ve been through hell and back and haven’t given up when most would. You project confidence and do things that most people only dream of. Yes, you garden and go to animal shelters and aren’t physically imposing, but that makes everything else you do even more impressive. You’re special, Lily.”

Lily rolls her eyes, “No--”

“Yes. You are. Most everyone can see it. He sees it, and he’s afraid that he makes a move, he might lose it. Think about this, Lily: if he asks you and you say yes, he gains the world. If he asks you and you reject him, he loses the world. Would you so easily gamble the world?” Kashmira puts her hands on Lily’s shoulders, forcing her to look at her.

“...no,” Lily replies quietly. “Aunt Kash, I would buy the whole bloody world for him. He deserves it. But I thought the same thing about Frank, and look how that ended.”

Kashmira sighs, smiling gently. “Ben is different. You know it in your heart that he is.”

Lily rests her head on her aunt’s shoulder and lets the woman hug her before she hears the doorbell ring. Kashmira pulls away and fixes Lily’s hair.

“Lily?”

“Hm?”

“At least consider making a move, alright?”

“Alright, Auntie Kash.”

---

Lily Anne greets her cousins, a fake smile plastered on her face. It’s hurting her cheeks to keep this up. She’s ignored two comments about her weight, three comments about a gray hair, and five comments about her tattoos so far. The key is to take the compliments about the sari and block out the backhanded aspects of them. The family is sat around a coffee table, and cups of tea are being handed out by Jamal and Kash.

“Lily Anne, how are you? I heard that your band is nominated for some awards this year?” one of Lily’s older family members asks, smiling at her.

“I’m good. Everything is going pretty well, and yes, we are probably going to be nominated for some awards. The album did very well,” she responds, smiling.

“I also heard that the album is about your upbringing. I certainly hope you mentioned your Zanzibarian roots in some of the music,” a cousin named Kira asks.

This one is particularly bothersome and has always rubbed it in Lily Anne’s face that she is the better Indian girl, and the family is more proud of her than Lily.

“Yes, Kira. It is. I have a whole song in our mother tongue, and if you listened to my album, you’d know that,” Lily says, eyes flashing in anger.

Kira lifts her nose, sipping her tea. “I don’t listen to rock and roll. No offense to you, Lily, but a genre of music that glorifies crude behavior and encourages… questionable life choices are not what I want to expose myself or my children to.”

Lily Anne is about to respond but feels Kash squeeze her shoulder. She sips her tea instead, quieting down as the conversation continues.

“Lily, do you ever wonder what your life would be like if you chose a less risky profession?” Kira’s mother asks, looking at Lily with concern.

“Do you ever wonder what your life would be like if you hadn’t married someone twice your age just to please your family?” Lily snaps back, sipping her tea.

One of her male cousins groans, rubbing his forehead. “Lily, we say this because we love you--”

“Bullshit!” Lily exclaims, putting down her cup. “The only ones in this family who truly love me are Kashmira, Jamal, and Jer.”

“Don’t curse in front of my children, Lily!” Kira exclaims, wrapping an arm around her little girl. “Don’t listen to her, my love. She’s just overreacting.”

Lily looks at the girl and puts down her teacup. “Darling, let me ask you a question.”

The little girl looks over and nods in approval. “What is it, Lily?”

“Answer me honestly, love. Do you want to grow up and be a housewife like your mother?”

The girl bites her lip before shaking her head. “No. I want to be a scientist, Lily.”

Lily nods. “Alright. If you get married, do you want to choose your husband or wife?”

The girl nods, and smiles. Her eyes light up. “Yes!”

“Alright! One more question, baby girl: do you want to express yourself with cool clothes and art?”

The girl bounces on the couch, grinning. “Yes! I want to have lots of overalls and sweaters and wear sparkly nail polish!”

Kira squeezes her daughter and the girl’s face falls. She leans back against the couch, quieting down. The tension is thick, and Kashmira clears her throat.

“There are some toys in the other room if you kids want to play with them. Go have fun, kids!” She says, watching as the children run off to play.

When the kids leave the room, one of Lily’s older cousins looks at her with a harsh glare. “That was ridiculous, Lily. You’re acting like a child.”

Lily scoffs, standing up. “At least I’m not acting like a wanker. Children are open-minded, and they love openly and have all these wonderful dreams, and wankers try to shut them down. So yes, I may be acting like a child, but children don’t reject people who need love and support just because of their sexuality or profession. Wankers, however, do just that.”

She moves to be in front of everyone, and spreads out her arms, gesturing to herself. “I am a person who despite all her flaws deserves support and love from a good family, and I have found a wonderful family in Roger and Brian, and my wonderful band members. So was Freddie. But because he wasn’t a perfect Indian boy, you left him out in the dust.”

“We care about tradition—“ Kira begins, glaring at her cousin.

“Fuck tradition!” Lily Anne exclaims with a barking laugh. “When has tradition ever been better than compassion and unconditional love? Jer, Bomi, and Kash bucked tradition, and they ended up being close with my Papa, who blessed them with his talents and generously provided for them if they needed it. All you greedy bastards expect me to help you out because I have money, and to do it because we’re related, but I am in no way obligated to help a group of wankers who have never done the same for me. So take your tradition and your judgment and shove it up your asses, because I won’t tolerate it anymore.” Lily Anne turns to Kash and Jamal, sighing. “I’m sorry. But I need to get away from these people before I give in to my desire to drink a gallon of bleach. I’m glad you thought of me, but I’m clearly not a valued member of this family.”

Kashmira nods, hugging her niece. “Thank you for giving it another go, at least.”

Lily smiles at her aunt. “I’ll meet up with you another time.”

Jamal hugs her and she grins, kissing his cheek. “Feel free to call me whenever, alright?”

Jamal nods, smiling. “Of course. I’ll let you know when I’m free to meet up.”

Lily nods, and as she leaves the room, she looks at the stunned Indians and hisses at them. “You make me proud to have the last name Mercury. I’d rather die than live as a Bulsara because of you all.”

The door slams behind her and she huffs, getting into her G-Wagon and letting out an anguished scream.

She wants a cigarette so fucking badly. She can’t take this anymore.

She then remembers that there’s a spare pack of Marlboros in her glove compartment and before the rational side of herself can act, she opens her glove compartment and takes out the pack and a lighter, fumbling with a cigarette and placing it between her lips.

As she lights it, she feels a wave of guilt and disappointment wash over her. She’s failed herself, and most of all, she’s failed Ben. She could throw up from guilt right now, but something about meeting with her family just put her over the edge.

She puffs on her cigarette and quickly inhales the entire thing before chucking the butt of the vile thing out the window and following that up with chucking out the whole box before speeding away.

She has to call Ben and face him, and she has to tell this to him to his face because she has fucked up so badly and he deserves nothing less than that. Parked in front of a random house in a suburb, she calls Ben with shaking hands, blinking back tears. He answers within five rings, and she’s faced with him on the phone screen, reclining on his couch with Frankie in his arms.

“Hi, Lil. How are you?” He asks, smiling. “I like the nose ring and the sari.”

She bites her lip, looking down and running a hand through her hair. “Th-Thanks. I wore it to a family event today.” Her voice cracks.

Ben frowns, and sits up, examining Lily Anne’s face. “I’m guessing that it didn’t go well?”

Lily Anne looks up, wiping her eyes. “Worse than it usually does.”

“Can you tell me what happened?”

Lily Anne sniffles, leaning back in the driver’s seat. “My nasty cousin Kira— she’s a real bitch, always has been-- and the rest of my extended family chose to openly judge me about my life choices and then claim that it’s only because they love me and are concerned for me, but that’s horseshit and I fucking know it.”

Ben nods, biting his lip. “So… I will admit that I don’t know much about your culture, but I can guess that it’s not very supportive of queer people, tattooed people, or entertainers.”

Lily Anne nods. “I got judged for all of the above. Throw in some more guilt tripping and you’ve got the whole picture of why I’m seen as a family disappointment.”

Ben sighs. “Jesus, Lily. I’m so sorry.”

Lily Anne begins to tear up, shaking her head. “I-I don’t know why I thought it would be different, but I just wanted to see if my family would finally accept me, but—“ she shakes her head, tears beginning to fall. “Nothing changed. It just got worse.”

Ben looks at her sympathetically and wants nothing more than to wrap her up in a hug and let her cry it out. “I’m so sorry, Lily. You deserve a better family than that, and you have so many people supporting you other than them. Their opinion doesn’t matter.”

Lily nods, her hands shaking. “I know. But something in me snapped, and-- and…” she begins sobbing. “I’m so sorry, Ben. I fucked up so badly. I broke my promise to you.”

Ben looks at Lily Anne through the screen with nothing but empathy in his eyes. She wipes tears from her own eyes, sniffling. “It’s alright, Lily. You’re only human.”

Lily wipes her eyes, shaking her head. “But I made a promise to you--”

“We both knew it was possible for one of us to break. Or for both of us to break. Addiction is hard, and sometimes we relapse. It’s alright, Lily. I’m not mad at you. I get why you did it.”

Lily Anne looks at Ben and sniffles, wiping her nose. “I just… I’m so upset. I cussed up a storm, caused a scene, relapsed, and to top it all off, I didn’t even get to eat everything I wanted to!”

Ben takes a hand through his hair and lets out a little laugh. “Today really hasn’t been your day, has it?”

Lily Anne laughs as well, wiping her eyes. “Yeah, it hasn’t.” She begins laughing after a moment, covering her mouth.

Ben smiles. “What’s so funny?”

Lily grins. “I’m so beyond sad and angry that I just have to laugh, and I can’t believe that I’m still so bloody upset about not having any food!”

Ben laughs as well, leaning back on his couch. “What food do you like?”

Lily smiles, wiping mascara from under her eyes. “There’s a place in London that I love called Indian Palace, and it has the best tikki masala, chicken korma, biryani, roti, and samosas that I can get without going to Kash’s house. At this point, they know my order by heart, and all I need to do is call and they know what to make.”

Ben nods, smiling. “I’ve never had most of those dishes before. I’d like to try them.”

Lily grins at him, snickering. “Most of it would be too spicy for your tastebuds, darling. Even mild would hurt you.”

Ben scoffs. “Listen, Mercury. I can handle some spice in my food.”

Lily shakes her head. “Not like Indian spices.”

They both take some time to compose themselves, and Lily Anne takes a deep breath.

“Do you feel better now?” Ben asks gently.

Lily nods, smiling. “Yes. Thank you for being so understanding and cheering me up, Ben. I appreciate it.”

Ben shrugs. “I know you’d do the same for me. If I can help you out in any way, I always will.”

Lily smiles, nodding. “The same goes for me. If you ever need anything, you know what number to call.”

Ben nods before frowning as Frankie barks. “Frankie, what’s going on? I’ll walk you in five minutes, girl.” He turns back to the camera apologetically. “I’m so sorry, Lily. Frankie is being impatient.”

Lily shrugs, smiling. “It’s alright. Go walk her and give her a treat for me. Thanks for talking with me, Ben.”

Ben smiles. “It’s no problem. I’ll see you soon, alright?”

Lily Anne nods and ends the call, sighing and leaning back in her car.

She listens to Leather and Lace on repeat until she gets home.

---

Ben walks into the little Indian restaurant the next day, and a hostess comes up to him, smiling.

“Welcome to Indian Palace! Are you waiting on anyone or would you like a table for one?” She asks, preparing to pick up a menu.

“Actually, I’d like to order something to go,” he says.

The hostess pulls out a notepad, smiling. “Of course! What would you like?”

He looks down at the notes on his phone. “I tried to remember everything she said she liked from here, but I can’t. She’s a regular customer here, though.”

The hostess nods. “What’s her name? I’m sure we know her usual order.”

“Lily Anne Mercury. She’s a friend of mine,” Ben says.

The hostess grins. “We love Lily! I know exactly what to get her, don’t you worry.” She begins writing down an order. “She’s the best, isn’t she?”

Ben nods. “She is. Also, she had a really bad day yesterday and didn’t get to eat any of her aunt’s Indian food, so if you could add what you feel she’d enjoy, I’d appreciate that greatly. I don’t care how much it is, as long as it makes her happy I’ll pay for it.”

The hostess nods and adds a few more items to the order. “Alright. Sit down and it should be ready in twenty minutes. It’s really nice that you’re doing this for her, and we’ll make her our top priority.”

Ben nods and sits in a booth, waiting for the food. The order is large and he doesn’t know what most of it is, but he doesn’t care. He trusts that the restaurant will take good care of Lily. All he has to do is be the deliverer of the food.

Twenty minutes later, the food is prepared and he carries the bags out to his car, driving off to pick up Frankie and go to Garden Lodge.

---

Lily Anne is penning the lyrics to a new song when her doorbell rings, and she gets up to look at the security footage. She sees a beagle and a tall blonde at the gate, and bags of what looks like take out. She opens the gate from inside, and opens her front door, leaning against the doorway in her sweats. She smiles as Frankie runs up to her and picks up the dog.

“What is all this, Ben?” She asks, scratching Frankie behind the ears.

Ben carries the bags inside the house with him and places them on the large kitchen island. “You said you wanted Indian food. I got you Indian food.”

Lily blinks, looking at the bags of food. “This is enough to feed a small village, Ben. What am I going to do with this much food?”

Ben smiles at her as she puts down Frankie. “I asked the hostess at Indian Palace what your usual order was, and told her that you had a bad day, so she should add whatever she felt would make you feel better. I don’t know what most of this stuff is, but it all smells great.”

Lily bites her lip, shaking her head. “All this must have cost you a small fortune, Ben! You didn’t have to do this for me.”

Ben shrugs. “I wanted to do it for you. Don’t worry about the money. It’s worth it if it makes you feel better.”

She smiles, and throws her arms around Ben, hugging him tightly. “I could cry right now I’m so happy.”

He hugs her back, grinning. “As long as you’re not crying from sadness I’m okay with tears.”

She looks up at him and grins, eyes bright. “You’re literally the best. You even brought Frankie to make me feel better.”

He shrugs again. “She always makes me feel better. I figured she would make you feel better too.”

After a moment Lily pulls away from the warm hug and begins to unpack the food. She squeals in delight when she takes out the tikki masala, jumping up and down. Reykja scratches at her pant leg and she looks down, shaking her head.

“We’ve discussed this before, darling. No spicy human food for you,” Lily says, looking down at the puppy.

Reykja whimpers and the woman sighs, ripping off a small piece of fresh roti and holding it down to the dog, who happily snatches it from her fingers.

“You’re a spoiled thing, aren’t you?” Lily looks up at Ben. “Can I give Frankie a small piece of roti? It won’t hurt her.”

Ben nods. “Sure thing. I’m sure she won’t mind.”

Lily gives the beagle a piece of the bread and the dog takes it before running off to play with her friend. Lily watches as the two bolt to the corner of her living room filled with toys. The dogs get along so well, and it makes Lily happy to see the two fur babies playing together.

Ben looks over the large spread of food, and raises a brow when Lily laughs at the sight of an orange drink.

“What’s so funny?”

Lily smiles at the drink. “This is mango lassi. It’s like a mango smoothie, but less thick. People who can’t handle spice need it to soothe their tongues.”

Ben rolls his eyes. “Very funny. I think I can handle eating some of this food without needing it.”

Lily raises her brows before snorting. “Sure thing, Ben. We’ll see what dish breaks you.”

---

“Holy shit. Lily, pass me the lassi,” Ben begs, his face flushed beet red. “My mouth is on fucking fire right now.” Lily laughs and passes Ben the drink. He got through at least five different kinds of chicken before he tapped out, which is actually pretty impressive. The curry can be quite spicy, and it certainly isn’t mild.

“You did pretty well for a white boy, Hardy. I expected the tikki masala to get you,” she comments, passing him the drink.

He drinks it desperately, and when he’s done panting, he wipes sweat from his forehead. 

“Fucking hell… that’s delicious, but holy shit-- dear God!” He takes another slurp as the spice comes back for a second round. “It fights back! What kind of food fights back?”

Lily Anne leans back, grinning. “Indian food. At least for more sensitive tastebuds. I’ve been eating this since I was a baby. I’m well-acquainted with spice.”

Ben leans back, catching his breath. “I see why you like this so much. It feels comforting when it’s not setting your mouth on fire.”

Lily laughs. “Yeah, it does. My Nanni Jer made the best curry, and this is pretty much exactly what it tasted like. Her’s was spicier, though.” Ben’s eyes widen and he shakes his head, causing Lily Anne to laugh. “You wouldn’t survive dinner at my Aunt Kash’s house, but it sure would be entertaining to see you try.”

Ben rolls his eyes, and looks over the different dishes that have been laid out over the coffee table. “I’m so glad you enjoy watching me suffer.”

Lily shrugs. “You gave a valiant effort, and that’s enough for me. I’m proud of you for trying everything. The rest of the food would definitely be too spicy for you, but I’ll be fed for a good long while.”

Ben gestures to the vast array of food. “Good. That’s less grocery shopping you have to do.”

Lily looks over the containers of takeout and shakes her head in disbelief. “I still can’t believe you did all this for me. What did I do to deserve this? I fucked up big time and this feels like a reward.”

Ben looks over at her seriously. “Progress isn’t strictly uphill. It can fluctuate. But it doesn’t matter how many times you relapse as long as you continue trying to quit. You need to be easier on yourself, Lil. Sometimes we need a little comfort in order to get back on our feet again.”

She looks at him tiredly and sighs. “I’m trying to be better to myself.”

Ben nods. “I know. But you’re struggling with that, and that’s why I’m here.” He reaches out and squeezes her hand.

She smiles, squeezing his hand back and closing her eyes. “Thank you, Ben.”

They fall into a comfortable silence, and both contemplate just how far they would go for one another to be happy.

TAGLIST: @andtheytoldustotellyouhello @plethora-of-things @borhap-socials @everybodyplaythegame @i-the-fangirl @deakydeakydeaky @shisterfackisback @samanthadegaro @lv7867 @fatbottomedcurls @redspecialty @haisimsim @peterparkeroos @teenwolflover28 @ixchel-9275 @alessandra-elle @onexlittlespark @queenficarchive @leah-halliwell92 @rrrogah-tayluhh @maddistudiess @queen-fam @evrsncnewyork @reddiefreddieee 

[deli-counter]

Do the evens or the odds or bof.......

im doin the odds papa!!!  thankie!!! (you know the word bof gets me)Is a kiss considered cheating?

Is a kiss considered cheating? Yeah girl If you could have one superpower, what would it be? shapeshifting Tell us some funny drunk story. Never been drunk baby!! One time I got floaty because I drank like three gulps of a mike’s hard lemonade by accident and I immediately started looking up spring onion salad dressing recipes If you had to choose one way to die, what would it be? poison that acts instantly or dying in my sleep Do you like someone? no sadly not anymore :/Do you like your body? not really…I like parts of it If the whole world listened to you right now, what would you say? pay 4 my tuition and let me transfer anywhere I want If you could choose only one food to eat to the rest of your life, what would it be? sandwiches Something you don’t mind spending all your money on? I freak out pending money on anything so idk When was the last time someone told you you were beautiful? genuinely dunno? maybe like a friend did a few weeks ago?Do you keep a journal? yeah but I need to write a lot more often Is farting in front of people irrelevant? what the fuck Are grades in school important? yeah until college then it’s like…just power thru I’m a theatre major. But I’ve always cared a lot about grades What was the last book/movie that really impressed you? dunkirk was p goodDumbest lie you ever told? my dad is alec baldwin and the dude believed it Something you did and you are proud of? playing wendla in spring awakening for a lot of reasons Something you are good at? cooking How are you feeling right now? blah What do you need to be happy? who fucking knows ! !What was the last gift you received? my mom got me some sweet lil soaps when she went on a girls’ trip to the beach!! What was the last concert you went to? I’ve only ever been to one concert and it was the american idol concert the season Carrie Underwood won. I didn’t even want to go Who inspires you? My sister How old were you when you first got high? never been high When was your first kiss? I was a sophomore, 16 years old, on Valentine’s day lol I had my first date ever then Is there something in the past you wish you hadn’t done? got involved with anyone I have been involved with romantically Who are you most comfortable around? my immediate family What kind of books do you read? anything? a lot of creative nonfiction or fiction or fantasy or murdery stuff but probably mostly classic literature What is your favourite flower? belladonnas, japanese cherry blossoms, lilacs, or hydrangeas. OOOH AND CREPE MYRTLE!!!!What kind of people are you attracted to? tall professors, asian fathers, designers with turtle shell glasses, any of these kind of types Is there something you don’t eat? Some food that truly disgusts you? Cottage cheese, tinned tuna, olives, and hard boiled eggs. Something you find romantic? Gentlemanly gestures that are probably old fashioned but have gone out of style and should just be common knowledge? Like flowers or something small, when men ASK to kiss you, dressing up when seeing each other, i like that thoughtful shit!!What are 3 things that irritate you about the same sex? not doing this baby I’m not gonna overgeneralize What are you saving money for? my student loans and Europe Are you actually a good person? Why? I think so but I’ve done shitty stuff and I have flaws but over all I think I’m a good person (cue Heathers opening monologue)Have you ever done anything illegal? nope not that I know of Have you ever made someone feel bad about themselves intentionally? yeah sadly Have you ever cheated on someone? no what the fuck !! I’ve been cheated on thoIs there a blog you visit every day, or almost every day? Tag it! @rossgellerfanclub @circa-1987 @kayleefabulousFavourite TV series? 30 Rock always but I am SO into iZombie rn What was the last book you read? Did it impress you and why? honestly dunno, I mostly read script now How long have you been on Tumblr? maybe 6 years? ew McDonalds or Subway? McDonalds, Subway is pure garbaggio! I have 100 reason why and am very passionate about this Alcohol or drugs? Neither tbh Meaning behind your blog name? I do theatre and I’m pretentious Last time you were insulted? Yesterday lol Perfect date idea? fun restaurant! museum! dessert! What colour are the walls in your room? the pantone shade of green that is color of the year. I called this shit 8 years ago Share your favourite quote. “in that ignorance I had knitted a new sweater, and she was something spectacular.” or “from my rotting body, flowers shall grow and I am in them and that is eternity.” Do you like horror movies? Yes and no, I’m picky and  ridden with fear and anxiety but I’m fascinated with horror culture and usually do like to be scared 

Do you feel lucky or special in a way? idk, not lucky 

[theroadtorestoration-blog]

5/26/2017 I would like to hold myself accountable in some way, so I'm going to start posting. Today I binged. These past few weeks have consisted of more binges than these past few months and it's scaring me. I started meeting with my therapist because of this and because of an ample amount of free time. I believe this amount of free time is causing me to think FAR too much about "fixing" myself, which is why I end up bingeing. My breakfasts and lunches have been satisfactory in the eyes of a girl on a weight loss journey, but if you ask my therapist, they are considered restrictive. Anyways, I'm going to be posting before, during, and after binges from now on in order to get a clearer sense of some of the reasons behind WHY I keep falling down this path. I'd really like to make this summer a time for myself to get closer to overcoming this battle of one and I believe the first step is being honest. So, here I am. Post-binge & post-purge as I walk the Weber Center track. My goal for the night is to reach 20,000 steps. Is this overexercise? Probably, but the highly irrational side of my brain is okay with that because... well.. whatever leads to weight loss. While I'm here, I guess I'll say how my day went and maybe I'll discover some potential triggers. 8:00- woke up and showered. I put on a cute outfit but I changed into a more comfortable one that made me feel really bad about my body. I changed bc I thought I'd get cold at graduation rehearsal. I even put on lipstick and earrings! Probably bc I wanted to impress my boo thang 8:15- I had my ACV and then I ate breakfast. I make myself drink this before breakfast bc I believe it's the magic waste loss cure. I wanted some protein so I started out with a strawberry Greek yogurt. I then made some oatmeal and had that as my starch instead of granola because for some reason I thought eating oatmeal would keep me from binging today ??? Who knows. My logic is skewed. I put 1 tbsp of protein in it bc I thought more protein = fuller tummy = lower chance of bingeing. I then had a disgusting overcooked hard boiled egg. My reflux of that was SICKENING. I had a strawberry too. I really wanted to binge but I left.... 8:35- supposed to be at graduation rehearsal @ 9. There was a breakfast from 8-9 that I skipped bc HA. when's the last time I've ever gone to a provided breakfast??? The idea of putting one of those bagels in my system makes me wanna barf. Disgusting carbs. 8:44- I arrive at niles North. I don't wanna see these people. Ugh. I wanna hide myself. I don't wanna walk in front of that crowd and get body shamed. I wanna see vaughn but I don't want him to see me. If I cross my arms over my belly maybe my body will turn invisible. 9:00- the gym is filled with pastries and bagels. Yuck. How does everyone just eat all of that stuff so carelessly? 9:05- the rehearsal is fine and long and I just wanna go and get on with my day. I'm so sick of this place and I hate all of this small talk. I see Uche and vaughn talking. Blah. I see tiselle. I think she hates me. Do I owe her an apology? Vaughn and I aren't even really dating. We've basically just hooked up and had some sleepovers. 9:40- omg there was this thing we had to do when we went to our seats and the person directly across from you in the parallel line would sit at the same time as you and vaughn and I were parallel! Love those coincidences. Also during the ceremony I sat behind manduul. He makes me uncomfortable. I also sat behind Nathan, vaughns friend, and I felt very judged. Am I too much for people? 10:00- I'm free! I zoom toward the exit and to the door and jump into my car. I don't wanna talk to anyone. I head to old navy and call dad. I tell him to meet me there. 10:15- I begin shopping. I enjoy shopping but it can be tough. I like my body now more than I used to, but I've still got some improvements to make. Im really proud of my exercise efforts though. I've been so consistent!!! I can't wait to continue on this fitness journey and to get a better grip on this healthy lifestyle. 1:00- omg, I'm finally done shopping. I can't believe I spent $270 on clothes...... holy shit. I've never done that before. It was my dads money and he was happy to do it but damn. I feel so spoiled. do I even deserve all of this stuff? Probably not. Ugh I'm so privileged it makes me sick. 1:05- dad was gross and flirty with cashier and I really don't wanna be around him but I have a salad at his house I was gonna eat for lunch so I head there and he follows right behind me in his car!!! Oy. 1:15- I eat a green salad from Trader Joe's. It has a lot of fat in it (27 g) but not a lot of protein (14 g) so I'm freaking out and worried about a later binge. Should I have that salmon in there or is it too much? The meal is only 370 calories. Do I need more? Dad comes and eats both of the small containers with salmon. He says it's okay to eat that much bc he worked out!!!! He keeps saying shit like that. It's so triggering. He says it as if you need to earn the right to eat which is such a disordered way of thinking. Is my whole family disordered? Oy vey. 1:30- I try and speed through lunch because this man is driving me insane. I say I'm gonna go to moms house and clean. I end up going upstairs until 2 and I just laid down and looked up things for vaughn and I to do tonight. Couldn't find anything. 2:05- I head to moms house. I grab 2 pieces of gum from dads fridge bc I think it'll rid of the urge to binge. It does for a while. I continue cleaning up and getting rid of stuff at moms while I listen to music. Not aware of the time. I take a break at some point. I head to the fridge and I get a chicken breast from jewel. I heat it up. My favorite part is the fatty skin. Is that completely disgusting? Probably. I'm proud of myself bc I eat it at a controlled pace which is new for me. I also have 3 pieces of shrimp. I'm upset with myself bc I'm watching a movie as I eat it. The love is called Blue is the Warmest Color. It's about lesbians. I question my sexuality for the thousandth time. I see that Jacob (my Ex boyfriends) new friend group posts a picture of themselves with a couch. Why are they mocking my friend group? Whatever! I also make myself a French vanilla cappuccino and I crave some shortbread cookies but I don't let myself. I tell myself to wait it out and let the craving pass because I know I'm not actually hungry. I stop watching the movie at this point and I return to cleaning. I have short text conversation with Spencer about vaughn and then about dammy. I realized that I'm not sure if I really trust vaughn and the relationship I currently have with him is kinda strange and I'm not sure how much I really wanna pursuit it. I really enjoy him though. He's so intelligent and makes great convo. At some point, I make my way to the kitchen again and I let myself have a ton of chocolate. I reach for the box of Fannie may chocolates that I discovered a few days back and rip through half of that, I love the chocolates with raspberry centers. I then reach for a box of European chocolates and they are expired and dusty looking. Yuck. I then eat some m&ms and chocolate squares and it's out of hand. I even have some more maple cookies and I heat up a handheld apple pie from Krispy cream. I heat up a butternut squash ravioli and vegetables lean cuisine and I devour it. I want more pasta. More carbs. I find another pasta dish in the freezer, I heat it, and it's gross. I put it in a container and throw it in the fridge. Wonder what my mom will think about all of the containers and food wrappers in the garbage. I hope she doesn't question me about it. I then have 2 spinach pie triangles and heat them in panini maker. Not very good. Then I make a quesadilla with 2 tortillas and a ton of cheese. I eat that by the tv. I then make another one even though I'm beginning to feel sick. This is the last thing I eat. I drink some water out a wine glass and I'm mad at myself. Go figure. This always ends up happening. I'm not sure I'll ever learn. I go to the bathroom and lay down and I'm in so much pain. I try spitting up my food. Oh yeah, just to mention I was spitting up some of my chocolate earlier on and I did this by running around and drinking water. Anyways, after My binge I'm in the bathroom trying to throw up and my phone is dying so I grab the extension cord thingy and I bring it to the bathroom downstairs bc I enjoy purging into that Toilet better and I charge my phone as I spit food up. Not too much comes up. I watch a video about what to do after a binge. It's not too helpful. I do hear AGAIN that I need to not restrict after a binge. This is so hard to learn bc I always have events coming up. I'm not trying to look like a fat ass at graduation or on birthright!!! 7:20- I decide to head to Weber center to walk. It's raining outside but I need to do something and I don't wanna be with other people. lol I never wanna be with other people. I'm too ashamed of myself. I set a goal for myself to walk 20,000 steps and I compete with everyone walking. Well, that's my day so far. If anything drastic ends up happening, I'll update you in tomorrow's post. Until then, keep on fighting. You are not your illness and I have no doubt that you'll eventually beat this. I love you, rach. Signing off.

[ask-de-writer]

SEA DRAGON’S GIFT : World of Sea : Part 64

SEA DRAGON’S GIFT

by

De Writer (Glen Ten-Eyck)

140406 words

copyright 2018

written 2007

All rights reserved.

Reproduction in any form, physical, electronic or digital is prohibited without the express consent of the author.

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Users of Tumblr.com are specifically granted the following rights.  They may reblog the story provided that all author and copyright information remains intact.  They may use the characters or original characters in my settings for fan fiction, fan art works, cosplay, or fan musical compositions. All sorts of fan art, cosplay, music or fiction is actively encouraged.

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New to the story?  Read from the beginning.  PART 1 is here

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Kurin watched her unbar the door of the cabin as she thought about it.  She said, “No, I don’t think so.  He used to be my friend.  I just wish that I understood how things went so wrong.”  She looked a mute appeal at Tanlin and added, “How could he hate me so?  I never did anything to him.”

Tanlin paused before opening the door.  She considered before answering, “Nae t’ ‘ear Silor tell t’e tale.  ‘E believes t’at ye were t’e author o’ all o’ ‘is misfortunes.  According t’ ‘im, ye were a Dragon-wicken an’ ‘eld t’e ‘ole Naral fleet in t’e palm o’ yer ‘and.”

Kurin was taken aback.  “You mean it?” she asked.  “What could put him so far onto dry land?”

Tanlin looked at Kurin with pity in her eyes.  “Oi’ve been tryin’ t’ tell ye.  ‘E’s insane w’ere ye are concerned.  ‘E believes ‘imsel’ a tragic ‘ero, persecuted for ridding t’e fleet o’ a deadly an’ unperceived menace.”

“Lady Tanlin,” came a forlorn voice from within the cabin, “I can hear you out there.  Who is with you?  Has the fleet come to their senses yet?”

Tanlin opened the cabin door, leaned in, and said, “Silor, someane ‘as come t’ speak wit’ ye.  She’ll be representin’ t’e Grandalor before a fleet tribunal.  Will ye tell ‘er t’e exact trut’ o’ yer involvement in t’e poisoning?  ‘T may ‘elp our case.”

Silor’s voice answered, calm and assured, “Of course I will talk to her but it is a waste of time.  No case will be needed.  The Witch is dead and in a short time her curses will be gone.  When people are themselves again, they will know themselves freed.”

Kurin spoke from out in the hall where Silor couldn’t see her.  “Silor, you were a good student at learning to navigate by wave and current. Do you know where we are?”

He replied with confidence, “We are in the Dragon Sea.  It was clever of Captain Barad to bring us here.  No fleet owns these waters.  We will be safe here.”

“What of the Great Sea Dragons?  If Mecat taught the witch, perhaps they will not like your having killed her,” Kurin said.

“Dragons live too long to care much about any particular human.  They won’t care one way or the other,” Silor replied airily.

“I’m afraid that you’re wrong about that, Silor,” said Kurin, stepping into his view.

“You’re dead,” he said flatly.  “Nobody can survive Ord poisoning.  Your dying is why the Grandalor had to flee in the first place.”

“No,” Kurin contradicted, “I lived.  The sailor that you duped into poisoning me is the one who died.”

Silor looked at her in dread and leaped at the conclusion that fit his delusion.  “You turned the Ord against the man who poisoned you!” he accused.

“I didn’t have to,” Kurin said quietly.  “The Corliss fleet knows how to heal Ord poisoning.  Sula carried me to her ship and Doctor Worran cured me.  The sailor that you gave the poisoned awl to wasn’t so lucky.  He got the poison through his shirt from carrying the awl in his pocket.  It got to his lungs first.  The doctor tried but she couldn’t save him.”

A wild glint entered Silor’s eyes and he shouted, “Don’t lie!  It was you!  You and that evil Dragon magic!  You killed him just like you did your father!”

Kurin recoiled as if she had been struck.  The very idea that she would have harmed her father was past simply shocking.  It was truly sickening and called to mind her mother’s accusations as she sank into madness.

Silor bunched his legs under him as he paused for breath.  “What does it take to kill you?” he screamed, lunging at Kurin, arms outstretched, hands clawed.

“More’n ye’ve got, Lad!” said Tanlin as she pounced almost into his path and grabbed his arm as he passed, spinning him headfirst into the wall.  Kimson landed on top of him and Tanlin calmly pulled her knife from concealment.  She laid its blade against Silor’s throat and added, “Mister Kimson’s goin’ t’ get off o’ ye, an’ ye’re goin’ t’ get onto yer bunk very slowly.  I’ ye try t’ ‘arm Kurin again, ye die.  Clear?”

Tears of rage and frustration in his eyes, Silor mutely nodded.  Carefully, Kimson released Silor, who slowly got to his feet and sat on his bunk.

Dully, he asked, “I heard whales, who else has she killed?”

As Kurin was about to protest, Tanlin waived her to silence and answered, “Nane.  We lost ane killed outright an’ ane mortal injured.  Yer Longin did t’ose murders an’ some ot’er injuries as well.

“Just gettin’ Kurin ‘ere ‘ad a ‘eavy price.  Macoul t’e steersman died o’ a cut t’roat an’ Lenai Halin died later o’ an abdominal wound.”

That brought a reaction of disgust from Silor.  “So, the witch got to you too?  She made you sacrifice good people just to finish her revenge on me?”

At that, Kurin would not be silent.  “Revenge?  What for?  No witchcraft is needed.  I never lifted a finger against you.  You bring yourself down!”  Bitterly, she added, “If I was a witch, I’d have just changed you so that you wouldn’t care.”

“You knew that I was here on the Grandalor!  How?”

“You were careless.  You were seen at the Gathering,” Kurin retorted angrily.  “Even the sailor that you killed told us it was you before he died.  You are under the same execute on sight order that you got put onto Barad and all the officers of this ship with your murder plot.”

That brought Silor up short.  “Barad?  He tried to stop us.  Why would the Council order him executed?”

Tanlin burst in, icily angry, “M’ too, as an officer o’ t’e Grandalor.  We’re all t’ be executed on sight because o’ ye. Our ‘ope lies in Kurin’s ‘ands an’ t’e jaws o’ t’e Dragons.  T’e Dragons ‘ave let us ‘arbor ‘ere in neutral woters but we cannae go t’rough t’em t’ escape t’e justice o’ a fleet t’at seems t’ ‘ave nane.”

Silor began to whimper and curl up.  “I tried to save you all.  I never wanted to hurt anybody. . .”  He uncurled an accusing arm, pointing at Kurin.  “If she is your hope, you are as doomed as I am. . .”  He collapsed, eyes rolled back in his head, still breathing but showing no other sign of life.

Shaking and slapping elicited no response.  Silor was gone where none could follow.

Sadly Tanlin said to a thoroughly shocked Kurin, “Oi warned ye.  ‘E wa’ so far ont’ dry land t’at not’ing could bring ‘im bock t’ safe woter.”  She looked grimly down at Silor’s still form and reached a decision.

“Oi’m proof t’at Doctor Corin can care for a person in a coma.  T’he doctor’ll care for ‘im until ‘e recovers or simply dies.” She turned to Kimson.  “Guard ‘im until men come t’ take ‘im t’ sickbay.  See t’at ‘e’s restrained after ‘e’s taken t’ere.”  

She led Kurin back to the Captain’s cabin.  Barad was out and they had the place to themselves.  Tanlin ordered food and drink for Kurin and then said, “T’at wa’ awful.  Oi wad never ‘ave guessed t’at ‘e wad just retreat like t’at.  Wat now?”

Kurin had no answer.  She simply sat and shook, crying inside but not allowing the tears to reach the surface.

Sympathetically, Tanlin sat by her and held her hand.

With a bit of scratching at the window, Thunderhead entered the cabin with a skelt in his beak.  Tanlin looked up at the big Sea Hawk and smiled.

“Ye’re right, T’under’ead.  She does need lookin’ after just now. T’anks for t’e ‘elp.”  She took the small fish and held it out to Kurin.  “‘Ere, youngster.  Take a bite so ‘e’ll know t’at ‘e’s ‘elped.  Friends ‘oo’re ‘urt need food t’ get well.  Tis all t’at ’e knows ‘ow t’ do for ye.”

“It’s raw,” Kurin said, a bit of smile beginning to show around the edges of her shock.

“T’at’s ‘ow tis best for young birds,” said Tanlin tolerantly.  “Go on, ‘e’s really tryin’ t’ ‘elp.”

Kurin took a small bite of the fish and realized that the skelt was good, even raw.  She set to nibbling around the coarse bones until most of the meat was gone, Thunderhead watching critically.  Tanlin absently scratched him under the right wing.

By the time that she was done with the fish, Kurin had a grip on herself.  The distraction provided by the somewhat comic antics of the bird and having to eat as well, helped.

There was a knock at the cabin door and Benj, the cabin-boy entered with a tray.  It had sliced, hard-boiled paddle duck eggs, red-weed bread and dried fillets of skelt for Kurin to eat.  Beside the water bottle were sweet and tart flavors.

By the time that she was done eating the simple fare, Kurin had regained her composure.  She gave Tanlin a measuring look.

“I have all the information that I am likely to get,” Kurin announced, “and I have begun to outline a multi-issue defense.  You said that you could summon the fleet Council and the Longin.  I would like to see how you do that from here.”

TO BE CONTINUED

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