#im not saying you're a terrible person raphael

[smilepebble]

finished ygo season 4. so many thoughts. so so many thoughts

my god did this whole season feel like a big fanfic. so many plot holes, so much unexplained magic, so so so much convenience, most of which i could dismiss for the sake of moving the plot forward. one of the only things i couldn't leave be was dartz being like "oh yeah and my minions tragic backstories we're actually all caused by MEE >:3" because like. it takes away so much of the weight of his manipulation. like instead of seeking out people who were at their wits end, who in their moment of weakness could be easily manipulated, he just. chose three random guys who were "good at duel monsters"* and ruined their lives through almost impossible means?

*but the only one who was proven to be good at the game was vallan. raphael only had three cards for the longest time. we never even see kid allister play the game?? and why would he even want to if he thought that kaibacorp was responsible for his brothers death??? sorry side tangent

anyway it makes absolutely no sense to me why allister, vallan, and raphael's backstories couldn't have happened like they were originally presented as. like with allister, we spent like half of season 3 learning about how terrible gozaburo kaiba was, so it makes complete sense that he'd be responsible for killing allister's little brother. and it makes sense that raphael would just be the lone survivor of a cruise ship capsizing, and it holds more weight if dartz just found out he was on that island, or possibly only met him after he returned to civilization. vallan's backstory got almost completely censored by 4kids so i honestly don't remember it lol. but even still i remember thinking that dartz framing him was bullshit. like at some point this stopped being a commentary about cults and emotional manipulation and turned into the "how evil can we make dartz" show. (mai is pretty much the only character who made it out of this season with a character arc that at least somewhat made sense)

AND SPEAKING OF FUCKING CHARACTER ARCS how the hell did they mess up yami's character arc that badly??! like. there were so many points where i thought "oh i see the message they're going to say: everyone has negativity and dark parts to their personality, but that doesn't make us evil or unworthy of love. accepting your bad feelings as something that's a part of you will help you accept yourself" only for them to turn around and be like "humans good orichalchos evil yay friendship" and like. c'mon now yu-gi-oh i know you're better than this. (usually i think yu-gi-oh's reoccurring themes on friendship are pretty interesting but c'mon at the very end you just threw the word friendship in there and called it a day)

also when dartz tries to get yami to surrender 4kids photoshopped his eyes green and went ooooooo he's being mind controlled. like c'mon guys just let him have his character moment, yami is not immune to emotional manipulation. (tbh id say especially not yami that guy has a lot of emotions to work through i think)

ok but issues with the ending aside this season was kinda fun lol. it's so so horrifically ridiculous and it feels like the writers were just playing with the characters like action figures. and i love how snarky kaiba and joey were this season. well the infamous season 4 is behind me now and im terrified of what the final season will bring

[mashamorevvna]

I don't know if I sent one but 💌 for both ask games lol

send me a 💌 and ill tell u something i love about you

oooh where to even begin 💗

im sure ive mentioned it before, but i really really admire your work as an artist. i think it hits such an amazing balance between prose, character work, introspection and i gobble it up sooooo much. its trulyyy insane how you have such a deft hand at characterisation that your ocs are fully recognisable in au scenarios and the way you build this continuity between projects like its truly spectacular to me

i think you also have amazinggggg taste in literature. like helois and abelard letter? incredible win. sarah kane? another incredible win. and i do go very often 👀👀 whenever you mention something i hadnt read or seen before!! i deeply deeply respect your taste, in short!

also i just really wanted to add that i really cherish all the interactions bc they meant a lot to me and i really admire your commitment to community building bc i know it takes consistent effort and a care for other artists that i think is exemplary in fandom and i do think youre one of the pillars of this lil niche!

💌share something with us about an up-and-coming work (WIP) that has you excited!

ive been sloooowly chipping away at the companion fic to jaheira&durge so yayyy me. i just find it really fascinating to juxtapose a durge who has to go back to bhaal's temple, with gortash who is defined by his refusal to go back to his personal hell!! also back again to gort's toment nexus of mommy issues. as if i ever left it, but thats another matter lmao

Korilla does not like him. Which is fair—his mother had not liked him either. He can sense the self-same flicker of annoyance, the bloating resentment at having to take care of something so unself-sufficient. To both he is a burden; to both he is less than a child, and little more than an inanimate object to preserve in working order. Was, in his mother's case, he thinks ruefully. "Acceptance, Flymm."  He almost laughs, and then remembers what the punishment for disrespecting the Master of the house is. And Korilla is nothing if not an extension of Raphael's authority. His gauntlet, one that more often than not he needn't even bother to instruct; it acts, and it's always to his pleasure. "Acceptance," he echoes.  "Yes. Hope is acceptance's deceitful sister. Hope would tell you to fight, this need not be forever. But you're smarter than that. There's no hope here, there can never have been," she says, and there’s a finality to her tone, as if she needs to convince herself above all.  She is beautiful, and terrible, and she does not love him at all. But it soothes him, in a way; hard not to be when weaned by a mother who had not once sat by his sickbed, who in truth might have cared for him less than this stranger.

[heartate-aa]

bro raphael i can see u editing the doc rn im comparing it to the copy i made ur literally lying saying i ever suicide baited you or that i emotionally cheated on you you are literally. lying holy shit

like i can understand how throwaway “i wanna die” “i wanna kms” etc statements comes off that way but i was literally just fucking ?? venting my feelings and they were NEVER intended to ?? guilt trip you or anyone else like ??? i am black and white in my extremes of emotions and you know this from me struggling with my bipolar disorder. i go from one extreme to the next and it is NOT fair to criticize me in a spiraling breakdown and try to weaponize that as your proof that i was doing things maliciously to be awful. i see the way it comes across even though it wasn’t my intention. there’s literally just like, so many things that i just don’t understand it’s conveyed poorly when i don’t mean it that way and like... you as my boyfriend could have told me too. like, hold me accountable? instead of letting me eat shit and then lashing out when it was convenient for you. like i get that sounds rich for someone who could never speak up to you or tell you anything because i was too anxious so in part i don’t fault you for that but it’s NOT fair to twist things i did as being malicious. were they shitty? yes. did they come across really poorly? yes. were they hurtful? yes. but i don’t sit here and scheme raphael. you trying to paint me as evil by implying that i do that is just gross and a lie. i have done a lot of shitty things out of impulsivity and my lack of critical thinking or thinking in depth and that is 100% on me but it’s such a gross mischaracterization of me to try to say that i was, at any point, malicious. the fact that you’re editing all of this right now to continue to try to slander me just shows me that you are, indeed, not sorry, that any apology you littered into that doc means nothing and you don’t mean them and you’re just saying them to save face and the fact that you had to write “if sabrina wants me to apologize again i will” just speaks to your insincerity. give me a break dude