#im reallh reallh anxious | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

cringelordofchaos · 5 months

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:(

#notfeeling good #im reallh reallh anxious #bc im supposed to study #but im not studing #bt if i dont study i will fail #so why dont i just fucking study #t seems soeasy bt its near impossible #maybe im just very dehydrated as usual #i always forget to drink fucking water

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kawaiianimeredhead · 2 years

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Schrödinger's house problem

Either I call and find out the house we were possibly getting is for sure sold already

Or I find out that we are still in the running and most likely getting the house

#i reallh dont think im prepared for either answer #i want a house and the house and im fortunate that my parents would take a lot of the finacial part from us initially #but also that feels huge and overwhelming and a bit scary #but theres a lot more upset in hearing if we dont have it #including learning that we were just not going to be informed which i guess is a sometomes normal thing maybe but this is #specifically being done with a family friend and while im not immensely attached to this friend it would really suck to learn #that we were just not told for whatever reason #i texted him days ago and he didnt respond #and i dont want to bring up the text #but whst if he does and says he just didnt reply cause he forgot or something but we no longer are able to get the house #and i want to vomit #i dont want to do this #it makes me mad and upset and anxious and its one of the worst calls ive had to make i think #and its childish to defer to my parents but i wish they were home and could take care od this #which i think would be valid because itd be there money that wed be using or not using #screams

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thewanderingtrumpeteer · 6 years

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.

#ive been too anxious and depressed to make myself move for the last week or so #so i havent been going to class #or lab #or anything reallh #i went to my solar meeting on monday night and thats all ive done all week #i dont know why im doing this #why cant i just do the things i need to do instead of avoing them #how many fucking times will i get caught in the same goddamn self destructive cycle #fucking fuck dude #lilli liveblogs her sad existence #the disorder

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sunspill · 6 years

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/a rant to be ignored/

I feel awful. I feel terrible. I want to cry but I am killing ants instead /clutches my bleach wipes

I can't get school together I can barely keep work together. I'm fat and gross and ugly and I hate myself. My room is a mess. Ants keep invading my apartment AND NOT DYING WHEN I SPRAY BLEACH. I haven't done the things I said I would do. I can't get my commissions done. My credit tanked a hundred points this year. I can't get my transcript in order. I can't write the things I WANT to write or NEED to write. My landlord is pissed we're fighting the rent hike. My car battery is toast and I can't afford to replace it. Can't find my drivers license or credit card. I have a huge presentation due VERY soon I have NOT started. I missed my dr appointment genuinely by accident because I put it wrong in my calendar it was yesterday and i had already paid so l can't reschedule until I have the dough-- another two months

And nothing is ever going to get better because to get better I would have to actively DO something that isn't barely function enough to get through the eight hours at my primary job and I fucking won't because I'm garbage.

#to delete #i need to make that allie only blogso i can scream into the true void #im hoping tomorrow ill feel bettee and thjs feeling is bc of fhe ant stress #and i always feel reallh anxious at night in bed more than other times #and i stress ate and i feek rly sick so i migjt vomit #do you think the ants carried my license away #this is tldr but i also cant afford weed #tomkrrow i will make a plan tonigjt is for wallowing #the good thing is i alr paid fir things like the con #and mail prices to send my presents and cards out

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