/a rant to be ignored/
I feel awful. I feel terrible. I want to cry but I am killing ants instead /clutches my bleach wipes
I can't get school together I can barely keep work together. I'm fat and gross and ugly and I hate myself. My room is a mess. Ants keep invading my apartment AND NOT DYING WHEN I SPRAY BLEACH. I haven't done the things I said I would do. I can't get my commissions done. My credit tanked a hundred points this year. I can't get my transcript in order. I can't write the things I WANT to write or NEED to write. My landlord is pissed we're fighting the rent hike. My car battery is toast and I can't afford to replace it. Can't find my drivers license or credit card. I have a huge presentation due VERY soon I have NOT started. I missed my dr appointment genuinely by accident because I put it wrong in my calendar it was yesterday and i had already paid so l can't reschedule until I have the dough-- another two months
And nothing is ever going to get better because to get better I would have to actively DO something that isn't barely function enough to get through the eight hours at my primary job and I fucking won't because I'm garbage.
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