#im really fucking SICK OF THESE ASSHOLES
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I haaaaate when ppl treat ford being upset over his identity being taken and his house getting turned into essentially a mockery of his research was completely unreasonable
like, was stan doing his best with a terrible situation? absolutely! would ford kicking him out be an actually fair option? fuck no!
but he's been in this dimension for probably 12 hours. god knows the last time he's slept. he'd been nearly dead prior to going thru the portal and now has to deal with the fact that he's lost everything. he doesn't even have his own identity anymore.
I honestly don't even think half the shit ford says to stan is truly about stanley or ford's opinion of him, so much as it is about his own issues and how weighed down with guilt he is.
I think its worth noting that ford only ever says mean things about stan when he's pissed off- when he's not angry, he's much more willing to actually discuss things and try to find common ground (such as when he invites stan to play d,d&d).
it honestly comes off more as him not knowing how to communicate anger outside of hurting people than it does genuine malice towards stan. and also I don't think ford ever really internalized that stan was homeless in the duration of the show
#☢️.txt#ford pines#gravity falls#like again its an asshole move but the sentiment (im upset that you brought me back to the apocalypse i caused and i cant even have my name#isnt like. abnormal??#ford is really really bad at just fucking telling stan how hes feeling and instead chooses to be vague and then explode#and again its not stans fault! he didnt have a whole lot of choices! and what ford said WAS hurtful#also yeah i genuinely do not think ford has processed like anything stan has said about his past#like hes told about it while having a psychotic breakdown and again after nearly getting killed#and then getting dragged back into his own dimension and realizing that bill is almost certainly going to win#hes not processing 'i was homeless' all hes thinking is how he personally has doomed everyone in this room#he has the realization at 4 am months later and feels Fucking Terrible#90% sure the reason i read his actions this way is my autism tends to make me do this#and having a dad with anger issues teaches you to have worse anger issues so that hes fucking sick of dealing with you
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stepping away for a while. fics are on indefinite hiatus until i come back. queue will run for a while til it's out.
bye.
#sorry yall#im just too worn thin and too burnt out to be here rn#this week has been Hard and im really struggling#and frankly im sick of fandom bullshit#sick of feeling like i cant say or post anything without being eaten alive#sick of getting random hate from people#sick of being mocked behind my back#sick of rude comments and messages and assholes arguing under my posts#I am so fucking Tired#and i just dont have it in me to keep posting and working on things when its like this#its just not fucking worth it
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For as much as i hate AI art i think going after artists for the *vague idea* they could be using ai trying to destroy their career bc they cant give you a speedpaint for every single piece they make is not just inappropriate as fuck but should permanently blacklist you from ever interacting with the art community ever again. Genuinely embarrassing behavior.
#I cant fathom as an artist someone publicly lambasting me telling me '''you have four days to prove yourself as an artist or else''#FYM OR ELSE?#Like this isnt a fucking game YOU as an accuser need to come up with valid evidence#Im getting really fucking sick of this wave of entitled artists who just want to tear ppl more talented than them down#I have never seen such vitriolic self entitlement as i have from this artist and their friends#Like genuinely obsessed with these people trying to constantly go after them. Is it an attention thing?#Whatever it is its fucking embarrassing and i need people Especially non artists to be careful who they accuse#Being an artist in this day and age is hard enough without jealous assholes attacking you for being TOO good at what you do.#emf
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Opening the local bubble tea store absolutely livid and shaking in rage and upset bc my bitch ass boss is too concerned about us sitting on the job to order the tea bags I requested Two Fucking Weeks Ago (it only takes like 4 or 5 days to ship) and so we're out and I had to hand wash the 1 reusable bag to make black tea and I have to strain the free floating tea leaves from the cold brew and I just KNOWWWW he's going to have something more to bitch about because he always does
Last straw on the camel's back, etc etc, I want to put in my two weeks notice by the end of this week. That's a goal for myself.
#speculation nation#i currently dont have a job lined up but im going to start applying Today#because i cant take this anymore. i cant fucking take this anymore.#i feel like im about to shatter from the strain of hos chokehold#8 years total under his thumb and for What? he doesnt appreciate me. he doesnt value me.#he's an asshole this place sucks and it makes me so sad because i really do care about the people here#but i cant. i cant fucking do it anymore.#im really glad im alone on shift rn bc ha ha ha. ill put up the mask for customers but i am#genuinely shaking rn. im so upset.#this being after he complained Again about people sitting on the job during the meeting last night like#shut UPPPP I DONT CAAAARE#YOU TRY WORKING WITH CHRONIC PAIN AND FATIGUE AND A JOB THAT DOESNT GIVE GENUINE BREAKS#'oh if you need to take a break then do it but just dont sit down on the job“#WHEN DO YOU THINK I COULD TAKE MY BREAK? IM WORKING ALONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!+#and when im.not working alone im working with trainees so i still cant leave the store unattended#im sick of him.im so sick of him and im THIIIIIIIIIS close to just breaking down here and now#i hate him i hate him i hate him i hate him i HATE HIM#negative/#sorry for the vent i just feel like.im about to blow up and everyone's busy so ic cant. vent properly#im not even done opening bc im too busy freaking out and pacing and being angry#and hes gonna watch me sitting here thru the cameras and be like Ho Hum Look at you immediately doing what i said not to#like fucking STOP!!!! WATCHING US!!!!!!! YOU FUCKING CREEP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#IM SO SICK OF HIM WATCHING US THROUGH THE CAMERAS. HE HAS NO TRUST IN ME DOING MY JOB#0 value for me as a person or employee 0 value for my to this day dedication to this company#i want to send my heel through those front windows. watch them shatter. wreck the whole place#because fuck this place and fuck him#i wontttt bc i dont wanna go to jail lol but the temptation is there. i fucking hate his guts.#im going to put in my 2 weeks by the end of this week. im going to start applying to places Today. just fucking watch me.
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Honestly though I think it’s really a bad sign when I look at Shin Tsukimi and literally feel like he’s a self insert 😩
#the klock keeps ticking#yttd#i wanna replay yttd so bad but i also like Gotta play other stuff with the time i have akskks#but yeah the brainrot this specific character has given me idk if I ever really talked about it but it was BAD#i like obsessively played the game in like 3 days and it was not a good idea lol but just like shin#i had to take like a week to recover from this guy cuz i couldnt stop thinking about him and how hes just like me fr#first off just the very inconsistent personality hes got going on that is very me he has these different personalities he wears to cope with#all the traumatic shit happening hes both so helpless its comical and so manipulative its terrifying#and idk its really interesting how like good and bad he is at being manipulative like hes very smart and can analyze weaknesses and lie so#good not even he knows the truth but hes also grasping at straws he doesnt think things through at all#like the second main game he just didnt prepare at all hes fumbling his way through everything its going so bad#he just wants to go home he wants to outdo the game makers but hes being used by them so bad he wants it to STOP#and its just the way that like. it hits so hard cuz you know hes really not a bad person not at all he doesnt want any of this hes just#being horribly manipulated and doing whatever he can to survive but its also really scary how#well hes able to lie and manipulate and claw his way through but hes also weaker than a grade schooler#and you never forget that either and as much as he cheated his way through he still failed it was all just a cheap trick in the end#and all of this hits very hard like his personality is eerily similar to mine and just the way he thinks and acts#cuz im the same like im weak and a dweeb who likes funny cats but im also emotionally detached and observant and selfish#but where it hits the hardest is his relationship with midori like oooof that one was too real just like#the first person who was ever his friend was horribly abusive and treated him like a child and didnt respect any boundaries#and he just got sick pleasure out of seeing shin be upset and he was like. a groomer#and shin was fucking relieved when he died but also kept his scarf and adopted his personality to survive#and still goes by sou after ch2 and the scene that gets me the most is when shin ai is asked about his relationship with midori#and you can just SEE how horrified shin is because his deepest shame his abuse is being shared to everyone without his consent#and hes reliving it all in that moment and literally seeing who he used to be experiencing the abuse#he just curls into himself and like covers his ears and pulls his hair thats literally what i do AAAAAA#im just so grateful for the direction they took this character kokichi ouma wishes he was shin tsukimi so bad#and yeah just like damn. its scary how similar i am to shin like damn i really am going through it huh oof#I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM I WILL DEFEND HIM WITH MY LIFE HE DID ALL OF THAT STUFF YOUR HONOR BUT LISTENNNN#have you considered that hes cute and smart and weird and maybe just needs friends who arent assholes
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i dont wanna be a dick and act like i have no responsibility in this but after a point dont u think if all you ever say to ur friend is Omg you never make it out why dont you ever come out with us you bail all the time youre such a flake etc. dont u think that person (me) is like. not gonna feel so inclined to. be there
#like. yeah i was bad last semester i get it. and probably i shouldve tried at least once or twice to push thru#but i was so exhausted. and every time they would bring up hanging out it was on my longest days#and when i casually brought this up they were just like Well we have long days too. Okay!#and i love and miss these friends and i know for the most part. or at least think. theyre just teasing#i hate being seen as the flake like any time i do have to be like Oh i cant make that or Shit im sorry i have to bail#i try to offer an alternative???? and they never compromise on that. how is that fair like im not just outright rejecting u all the time#not to mention most of the time last semester it was always gonna be somewhere super easy for them to get home and far from me#im not like constantly holding this against them btw but i feel like they're holding it against me and i dont have any more apologies in me#anyway. that said. if theyre somewhere really expensive and far from me tn and i get out of work early#i. probably will not make it. lol! if theyd be willing to come a little closer to my place to one of the dives or some shit thatd be great#and like im not doing much today until class and work so really like. i WILL try. but i think they could sometimes not go for the most#expensive and inconvenient option as well. and these r all things ill say if it becomes like a problem problem or smth#but rn im not gonna be a dickhead and shit on their plans#but also! ok whatever im not gonna keep going on i just feel shitty im not 100% better from being sick and im just frustrated#about having to fuckign grovel over and over and over. i meant it the first few times now im just like#u could try not to be an asshole to me for five seconds too. like. i am very clearly not someone trying to secretly stop being friends#w yall. things happen#abby talks#and maybe this is an esp sore spot bc like ive certainly had some of you bail on me or be flaky or whatever before. and i didnt throw#a fucking fit to your face about it. probably bc it actually did feel more mean spirited sometimes#OK im sorry im not trying to make my friends sound evil and its mostly just the one and like im working on forgiving her for it cause it#was years ago but also like christ!
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hm. I just realized how weird it was that every year in school we had to have a moment of silence on 9/11 to remember the victims, and everyone took it really seriously. But when we had a designated time set for going outside and having a few minutes for the Parkland shooting victims our teacher told us “I don’t want to see any of you leaving my class for that. You don’t even understand what you’re protesting.”
Not that I would have known where to go for it anyway. They didnt really tell us where outside we would be gathering.
I wish i had stepped out that day anyways.
We have a god damn school shooting every fucking day in this country and I couldnt even take 17 minutes one fucking time to mourn with my classmates because the gun owners would’ve felt attacked.
#Meow.#Fuck the anthem. Fuck the pledge of allegiance#Fuck every stupid shithead conservative who made me feel ashamed or selfish for wanting better in this god forsaken place#Fuck America. Fuck your dumbass patriotism#Sick of this shit#I cant look at any comments on reports of school shootings because people dont even say ‘that really sucks’ anymore#Its immediately people jumping to the defense of guns and shitting on people who want some stricter regulations or something#‘I need my gun incase we have to overthrow the government’#like hey you dingdong. you know that military and police force you keep supporting and saying we need to strengthen?#your AR 15 isnt going to do shit against their tanks and jets and bombs. You’d be dead within seconds. gun or no gun#But then again their idea of anarchy and an attack on the country would involve queers getting bodily autonomy so#I feel like im going fucking crazy#I need to kick in every conservatives head. Every single one.#Sick of trying to be the tolerant left I need to kill now#Im so tired of being nice.#So tired of tiptoe-ing around shit just to keep people who couldnt care less about me comfortable.#When is it my turn to be an asshole?#When do I get say 'I have no atrong feeling as to whether you live or die. but if i had to choose I would wish you dead in an instant.'#Im tired of mercy. tired of grace.#tired of being one of the good ones.#i want to be exactly what they think of us but worse#sick of shoveling dirt into a bottomless void just to find some middle ground for them to spit on
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Okay stream over and as such no one is safe anymore from my RGGJoposting (sorry in advance), HOWEVER I did want to say...
Of course Mine Himself At Present is the furthest thing from punk, but I believe the reason he has that belt is a nod to Nakamura, who is credited with bringing punk influences to the kabuki scene. (This particular photo was taken years after Y3, but...)
By the way, Nakamura is how I found out there's a lot of stigma against sons of kabuki actors who choose to play roles of a different gender than their fathers. He comes from an established line of onnagata, so it was a big deal for him to choose to play male roles.
Arakawa was a taishu engeki actor rather than a kabuki actor, which is less steeped in tradition than kabuki, so I don't know if it would've been the same for him doing the opposite to Nakamura. But it's Neat to think of it as a concerted choice for him in terms of feeling that strong of a connection to femininity.
oh fuck yeah punk in the kabuki world WORD UP TO THE LEGEND.....
#snap chats#tumblr told me to suck a dick and deleted my response THANKS ASSHOLE#i feel suddenly feel like really sick and tired like oh god what the fuck was in teh chicken my bro got me for lunch heeUGUH#i will muster up my strength to respond tho. god no i feel really sick i gotta hurl but i wont#in any case... i love learning#i wish i could say more but thats all i can say ive always been more of a listener than a speaker#what the ufck was in that shicken oh my fucking god#great to have yo in the inbox. ALWAYS happy to see yo in teh inbox even if im a dumbass soemtimes and words fail me#like right now like how my organs are failing me jesus lord#i will try to speak.. i can see peop#ok no i cant i dont hve the brain capacity right now forgive me#the enviroment surrounding 'cross dressing' in theater is. a topic#a topic im too stupid and sick for BUT IT IS ONE.#i know men would play as women in western plays since women werent allowed to act for a long ass while#uhhh wht am i tryig to say#oh like. like the role is 'necessary' like men would need to play women cause we aint got women#but that doesnt mean its a 'respectable' position#do we get what im sayig ?? good god i hope so. im dying.#first it was too cold now im too warm but i cant tell if thats from shame my house or the hoodie i put on#ok my head hurt BYE#soryr im stupid
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idk i think it's so funny I went down a survival horror game rabbit hole when a) I'm too freaking anxious for horror games I will make myself cry, b) it was all PS2 stuff which is extra funny bc I've never even played on someone else's playstation let alone had one, i was always a wii kid lol. but now my brain is like ah yes. time to consume everything I can about games I can't even play and that are stupid expensive/hard to get now
#also i love that people draw jennifer from rule of rose and fiona from haunting ground together#they're just two girls with their dogs and in horrible situations and you know im glad they get to have dogs#any game where i get to have a pet is alright by me even if shit is otherwise majorly fucked#anyway. i do need to play pathologic. it's funny bc in theory it is really the kind of thing I'd like bc there's so much stuff to uncover#plus i think classic HD (which is the version i have) fixes the bad translation so it's not even like it's too hard to understand#at least only hard to understand in the intended pathologic-y way anyway#and i really really like the soundtrack#and everything I've watched and read about it is sick as hell (no pun intended) so i think the thing making me unable to get into it is the#actual experience of playing it. like it's funny how much of an asshole dankovsky is but that doesn't mean I *want* to play as an asshole#its funny the only time i really like playing that way is in skyrim bc im just. greenish elf that picks everyone's locks bc it was the first#thing i figured out and characters will just ???? let me fucking do it??? (i say having gotten arrested in whiterun like immediately)#i guess because I'm not invested in any of the characters yet because i havent had time to sit down and really play it#i guess that'd kind of be the way i play in lotro but that's more just me not interacting with other players#fun fact i think i still have one of the earliest fellowship quests sitting unfinished bc i can never form groups to finish them#i don't think I'll even ever get good at lotro though honestly#more just knowing what buttons to spam#idk i played hunter FOREVER but minstrel is really really growing on me#even though some of the skills are kinda wasted since i only ever play alone#anyway what was i talking about
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every day on this trip is worse
#i can not stand my sister at all i truly can't#she's been yelling and arguing for 10 minutes because she has her hair straightner but mum doesnt have a plug converter#and she keeps yelling ab how her fringe is fucked when it looks literally the same as it has this entire trip#and is yelling ab how its mums fault as if she couldn't have bought this shit herself before we left#i am just. so over this#any fun that would come from being on an international trip is immediately taken away by my mum and sister constantly getting angry#and either yelling or getting passive aggressive and making me feel horrible its just so tiring#bc i feel like such a fucking asshole for not enjoying an international trip that i will never get the opportunity for again#like this cost so much money and it feels awful to say i dont want it or that its not fun or whatever#but i am constantly dissociating and trying not to cry and ive had meltdowns and panic attacks almost every day but im not allowed to show#them bc my sister tells me to calm down and not be so dramatic and everything is a sensory nightmare#and i have a very specific diet at home and its not available outside of nz and there arent really any worthy substitutes and even if there#are i wont know bc i dont speak the languages so im just living on shitty little protien drinks and hot chocolate which makes me feel worse#and on top of it all im sick and i havent had any chance to rest bc my sister wont stop ab going places and doing thingd#and gets pissy if i dont want to#and its just so fucking difficult i knew that being stuck w them for 2 months would suck but its been 1 week and i cant do this anymore#i have no other option but i seriously don't know what to do i don't know how to handle this im at my limit#travelling is stressful and anxiety inducing and its hard enough doing it once on my own#let alone every 2 or 3 days w family that rushes and runs late and has 10000 bags that never fucking fit on the trains#and its always me left standing in the aisle blocking peoples path with nowhere to go bc my sisters giant suitcase wont fit anywhere#i hate this so much and its making me hate all the cities and countries we go to bc i dont get to experience the places i only get#to experience fucking breakdowns and im constantly drinking water bc im constantly dehydrated from either crying or panicked breathing#its a mess and i hate it and i want to go home I haven't felt comfortable or safe since i left home and i wont feel either until i go back#but that isnt until the last couple days of january so i just have to keep dealing with things getting worse by the day#negative cw#rant cw#ask to tag cw
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made the mistake of looking at his tag for me and now i want to kill myself LMFAO
#transmission#not really. im fine. but god#what happened man. what fucking happened#he used to be so in love with me. or it seemed like he was. what fucking happened#i swear to god he's turned into somebody else entirely#the man i loved is dead and gone. the person he's become is a cruel facade masquerading as my former lover#it makes me sick. he used to be so kind. so loving so giving.#now looking at him makes me violent. he's so cruel. so selfish. such a fucking asshole#what happened to you man. what happened.
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🦋
#sometimes i get really sad about my life you know? like. really sad about it lmao. for various reasons.#like it would be really cool to be normal. very often i just wish i was normal lmao.#but then i remember meeting this guy while i was homeless&he had everything that i late 20s/early 30s college grad would want#stable&well paying job in the field he actually went to college for#rented part of a banging a duplex that had a yard allowed dogs&was a five minute walk from downtown bar crawl area#had both one of my fave motorcycles-- an r6--&one of my all time dream cars-- a 6speed cts-v.#i presume a dating life from the tampons that were in his bathroom.#&yet. he was miserable from what i could tell lmao. &it was weird bc it was like he didnt realize that#until he met us lmao. i would be more annoyed by that. i was v annoyed by it at the time lmao. the amount of weird jealousy i dealt w while#fucking homeless+sick is disgusting&ill never forgive fucking anyone for it&a part of me will always be dead+rotted bc of it lmao.#but for him it was different in the way of. i could kind of understand it lmao.#he had come from a rough background from what i understand&was a success story.#&yet he clearly felt trapped in his own life. clearly felt like he was surrounded by things he should be more grateful for while none of it#filled the hole in him ppl like him are PROMISED success will fill. being apart of the status quo but on the good end will alleviate.#he had been in one accident&never rode his bike again. when i asked why he lied&told me the bike was unrideable bc he didnt know me lmao#&when i asked if there had been any damage past the obvious dent in the gas tank he got red+quiet+changed the topic.#he worked at some big bank&didnt bother trying to brag bc the one thing he DID know about me is that i am v anti bank+leftist lmao.#he considered himself a leftist too until he talked to me&realized he was actually v centrist in basically every view he had#&that centrism came from a desire to keep his privileges as a cis white straight man-- something that made him openly embarassed.#he used to deal thru college&when i met him he couldnt keep up w one round of dabs w me something that also obviously embarassed him.#he had surrounded himself w ppl just like him&was jarred upon meeting anyone outside of that bubble who wasnt a far right asshole.#&he didnt like what he saw about himself. &that was really obvious.#when we left his place after the brief week we were staying there he was literally in tears about how much he wanted to come.#to help&see where we ended up or whatever idk lmao. i guess im still actively annoyed by it lmao.#but i still get it on some level. when you reach the top&realize youre not fucking happy where do you go from there?#will a house do it? will moving to a different location for your same bullshit job do it? will meeting a girl exactly like you do it?#&when i want to be normal so bad it physically hurts i remember him&i think maybe things arent so bad lmao.#like it could be worse i guess lmao.
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Reading about fucking conservative freaks using "judeo-christian values" to justify their bigoted policies towards queer kids in the education system
#also im so gd sick of righty xtian types pretending they give a fuck about jews#when what they really want is an excuse to shit all over muslims#it so goddamn transparent its so fucking transparent#“judeochristian” as a term is absolutely foul and just seeks to marginalize muslims#frankly if u wanna talk broad religious similarities you may as well say “Abrahamic”#but if course the whole point of “judeo-christian” is to pry us away from our muslim siblings#if u see someone use the phrase “judeo christian” theyre not necessarily an asshole but its a red fucking flag#when you see a fundie christian talking “judeo christian” values theyre using us as a smokescreen#they dont mean you or i#the only jews theyll tolerate is the likes of alan dershowitz or bem shapiro#and even then their contempt for those allies is very very thinly veiled at least where im standing#sorry im ranty today sorry#dont let ppl rhetorically frame american religious culture as a “judeochristian” coalition against muslims and secularists#its patented bullshit its counterproductive it harms jews and it harms our brothers dont forget#allying us rhetorically with hegemonic xtian values harms us and it harms our brothers and its not fucking true fuck you fuck you fuck you#i see this rhetoric increasing in usage because of gaza#because conservative distaste for jews is trumped by conservative affinity for fascists i suppose#and distaste for Muslims or at least those they can reasonably classify as broadly muslim regardless of actual demographics#this hand extended in friendship is fake its a fucking lie#they want us to turn our backs on our brothers dont fucking do it!!!!!!
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#don’t read this if you don’t want to hear about weight loss (unintentional due to health issues)#i’ve been struggling really bad to eat for the latter half of this year which is something i’ve been having issues w the last couple years#but with weed i was still able to eat decent meals and snacks in the evening and i had been slowly gaining weight until this summer#and i’ve always been a little chunky#but i’ve lost at least 30 pounds in the last ~6 months bc i am just unable to eat really at all#everything makes me nauseous or want to gag and when i cook meals i can make myself eat a couple bites so im not starving any more but#i can’t finish anything#and i can only eat in the evenings#from the time i wake up till about 8pm i maybe have a box of apple juice#and ive had a couple appts w my primary care dr and she straight up doesn’t care i asked for an appetite stimulant previously and she just#upped my migraine med instead….and then when i went back and had lost more weight she said she couldn’t even give me#an appetite stimulant and that i would need a referral for a nutritionist…….#and that she wouldn’t be concerned at all if i weren’t losing weight…#and today i was complaining to my mom about how loose my leggings were and i really don’t want to buy new clothes and she was like you know#that’s actually a good thing#you starving every day for fucking months is a good thing actually :)))))))#i’m just so sick of it…i’m sick of my coworkers complimenting me when i am starving and can’t do anything about it….sick of my doctor not#caring bc im still overweight so since i don’t look like im dying it must not be a problem#i don’t know what’s causing this and i don’t know what to do……i miss enjoying food it was one of the very few pleasures i have in life#im tired of unintentionally being an asshole at work bc im so hungry and i feel like shit but if i try to eat ill vom#cant watch food videos on youtube anymore bc they make me ill#cant read anything that mentions food or describes what people are eating anymore bc it makes me gag#im just sick of this#maybe i’ll try to find a new doctor#as if i can afford to go
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the way literally nothing can be ok. nothing can be fine. ever. there's always something. when I think I'm done and I'll not have to worry for a few days. or when I think phew one less thing to rip my hair out about. something new comes. give me a fucking break. please.
#cat is sick. im in constant pain and mental health issues. dad is now sick also. dont know what the fuck to do.#it feels badnto call him an asshole when its very much a dangerous thing thats happening right now but GOD im so frustrated!!!!#he really just doesnt take care of himself. he buys foods he shouldnt eat “for us” and eats it#delete#fuck!!!! i need to talk to the other people in this family we are GIVING UP white bread and sweets and pasta. fuck all of you.
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My dad sent me a letter about how much I need to remember Jesus so that we can be together in heaven one day. It’s just a big fucking joke at this point like come on dude
#he has such a savior complex goddamn#he does these things and gets mad when i dont thank him for ‘saving’ me#and hes not gonna stop until he can successfully convert me cuz if he doesnt then hes gonna burn in hell for failing his christian mission#just all this paranoia about hell is too much for me like im already so traumatized by that shit#and im paranoid to extreme degrees by so much fucking shit in my daily life like i have bad ocd dude#so stop trying to make me remember this shit that ive spent my whole life trying to recover from#youre just doing this cuz youre a selfish asshole who cant stand the idea of not being praised by everyone all the time#and it makes you insufferable so fucking insufferable#ugh sorry this is a big personal vent but i just hate this guy and im sick of him having control over me#its been a massive cause of stress for me lately cuz i have to rely on him financially since im really not able to work#and im having to risk shit like being cut off and disowned if i dont conform to his standards#i cant live this way anymore and im fucking. running out of reasons to stay alive at all
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