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#im so chatty... i had caffeine can we tell
teeniestjojokitten · 1 year
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eyeing up the posts in my drafts for different fandoms.... teehee.
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twoidiotwriters1 · 3 years
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Written In The Stars CLXI (Harry Potter xF!Oc)
A/N: Mel’s hiperactive, giddy self is my favorite I miss her -Danny
Words: 3,280
Series’ Masterlist
Previous Chapter // Next Chapter
Listen to: ‘Into Your Arms’ -by The Maine
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Chapter Twenty-Three: Aragog's Deathday Party.
"Yeh came," Hagrid said hoarsely.
"Yeah — Ron and Hermione couldn't, though," Harry frowned. "They're really sorry."
"Don' — don' matter... He'd've bin touched yeh're here, though..." Hagrid wept.
"I remember how much he loved visits," Mel replied while Harry patted their friend's side somberly.
"Where are we burying him? The forest?"
"Blimey, no—The other spiders won' let me anywhere near their webs now Aragog's gone. Turns out it was on'y on his orders they didn' eat me! Can yeh believe that?"
"The nerve!" Mel said indignantly. "Kids these days, they have no respect!"
"Never bin an area o' the forest I couldn' go before!" Hagrid retorted in the same tone she was using. "It wasn' easy, gettin' Aragog's body out o' there, I can tell yeh — they usually eat their dead, see... But I wanted ter give 'im a nice burial... a proper send-off..."
"You were his bestest friend," She hugged his arm.
Hagrid sobbed at her remark, Harry patted his elbow again as he added, "Professor Slughorn met us coming down here, Hagrid."
"Not in trouble, are yeh? Yeh shouldn' be outta the castle in the evenin', I know it, it's my fault —"
"No, no, when he heard what we were doing he said he'd like to come and pay his last respects to Aragog too. He's gone to change into something more suitable —"
"He seems to hold a very high respect for creatures that can't be caught easily," Mel mentioned. "I think he was very impressed that you managed to befriend one..."
"He said he'd bring some bottles so we can drink to Aragog's memory..." Harry finished.
"Did he?" Hagrid blinked rapidly. "Tha's — tha's righ' nice of him, that is, an' not turnin' yeh in either. I've never really had a lot ter do with Horace Slughorn before... Comin' ter see old Aragog off, though, eh? Well... he'd've liked that, Aragog would..."
"He'll chaperone us while we're here," The girl smiled. "That way the other teachers can't punish us because we'll be under yours and Slughorn's watch. He's very sweet."
One time when she was nine, Mel had taken a highly caffeinated drink from the Dursley's fridge. She'd spent the majority of the day running around, climbing trees and chasing stray cats. She'd been giddy and chatty, even Harry couldn't keep up with her. Ever since that day, Mel would avoid drinking large amounts of sugar or caffeine because it turned up her levels of hyperactivity to the max. The luck potion had the same effect on her. She remembered Ron joking about her mother feeding her with said liquid when she was little, and she thought that maybe he wasn't wrong.
"Are we going to bury him here, Hagrid, in your garden?" Harry looked out the window.
"Jus' beyond the pumpkin patch, I thought, I've already dug the — yeh know — grave. Jus' thought we'd say a few nice things over him — happy memories, yeh know —"
"Well, that chunk of a spider will make a great fertilizer for sure," She muttered, her face against the glass. "Oh look! Slughorn's back!"
Harry gently put one hand over her forehead and grabbed her shoulder with the other, pulling her away from the crystal. Slughorn was let in by Hagrid, he was carrying several bottles.
"Hagrid," He said lowly. "So very sorry to hear of your loss."
"Tha's very nice of yeh... Thanks a lot. An' thanks fer not givin' Harry and Mel detention neither..."
"Wouldn't have dreamed of it! Sad night, sad night... Where is the poor creature?"
"Out here... Shall we — shall we do it, then?"
Mel guided the three men out of the cabin with a firm step, she had adopted a professional attitude now, no hint of a smile over her face, though her hands were still fidgeting. Harry held onto her right one and brushed his thumb over the scars, the speed at which her mind was working quickly decreased, she almost hummed at the boy's touch.
Aragog's body was waiting for them next to a ten-foot-deep hole.
"Magnificent," Slughorn breathed. He approached and examined the creature up close.
"It's not ev'ryone appreciates how beau'iful they are," Hagrid nodded. "I didn' know yeh were int'rested in creatures like Aragog, Horace."
"Interested? My dear Hagrid, I revere them," said Slughorn. When he stepped back, Mel heard the tingling of a few crystal bottles. "Now... shall we proceed to the burial?"
Hagrid put both arms under the creature and -rather unceremoniously, in Mel's opinion– rolled it towards the hole. There was a loud thud as the beast reached the bottom, and Hagrid erupted into sobs again.
"Of course, it's difficult for you, who knew him best — Why don't I say a few words?" Slughorn approached the edge of the grave. "Farewell, Aragog, king of arachnids, whose long and faithful friendship those who knew you won't forget! Though your body will decay, your spirit lingers on in the quiet, web-spun places of your forest home. May your many-eyed descendants ever flourish and your human friends find solace for the loss they have sustained."
"Tha' was... tha' was... beau'iful!" Hagrid fell to his knees, sobbing uncontrollably. Mel rushed to his side and hugged him as best as she could.
"There, there," Slughorn waved his wand gently and the mound of dirt next to the hole covered the creature's body. "Let's get inside and have a drink. Get on his other side, Harry, next to Mel... That's it... Up you come, Hagrid... Well done..."
They guided him back to the cabin and sat him down, Fang made his way to Hagrid's side and put his big head on his knees. Slughorn opened a bottle of wine.
"I have had it all tested for poison. Had a house-elf taste every bottle after what happened to your poor friend Rupert."
Harry and Mel exchanged a look.
"One for Harry... one for our lovely Mel, and one for me. Well, to Aragog!"
"Aragog," They said together.
Mel didn't know her drunk, hyperactive self, and she didn't want to meet her soon. She pushed the cup away. Harry lifted his and put it close to his mouth, but he wasn't actually drinking.
"I had him from an egg, yeh know," mumbled Hagrid. "Tiny little thing he was when he hatched. 'Bout the size of a Pekingese."
"Sweet," Slughorn replied.
"Used ter keep him in a cupboard up at the school until... well..."
Mel grabbed the bottle and decided to be the bartender for the night, the potion edged her to keep the men drinking, something was telling her it was the fastest way to achieve their goal.
"That's never unicorn hair, Hagrid?" Slughorn asked out loud, his eyes glued to the ceiling.
"Oh, yeah," said Hagrid while Mel poured another round. "Gets pulled out of their tails, they catch it on branches an' stuff in the forest, yeh know..."
"But my dear chap, do you know how much that's worth?"
"I use it fer bindin' on bandages an' stuff if a creature gets injured," Hagrid, shrugged. "It's dead useful... very strong, see. Bin teachin' Mel how ter heal our creatures," For the first time that night, he smiled. "Best student I've had, I tell yeh."
"How very kind," Mel beamed.
"Yes, Miss Dumbledore is an impeccable young lady," Slughorn took another gulp from his cup. "She's really talented—"
"I personally love her talent for throwing bludgers with perfect aim," Harry mentioned, Mel let out a chuckle. "I mean that in a very professional way, of course. As her Quidditch Captain."
Harry stared at her, a soft smile on his face.
"Erick's really lucky to have you."
"I'm not something to have," Mel was pushed forward by the potion, the words left her mouth before she could stop them. "And either way, it doesn't matter. I think we broke up."
Slughorn was now eyeing every object in the cabin trying to find more treasures, and Hagrid was deep in his own misery.
"You broke up with Erick?" Harry asked in a strange voice.
"I mean," She groaned. "I think so? We talked today, and he says he cares for me and he wants to love me —"
"— Do you?"
"— He didn't want to break up, but it didn't feel like we were together..."
"Do you love him?" Harry insisted.
"Yes," Mel responded, "but not in the way he wants me to."
Before Harry could ask more questions, she continued out loud.
"If we're trying to compliment others, we should focus on our Professors," She said pleasantly. "Hard workers to the core—Did you know, Professor, Hagrid looks after almost every creature that lives in the forest?"
Slughorn and Hagrid quickly dived into the topic, and before they knew it, their half-giant friend was happily narrating a story about bowtruckles. When Mel started to ran out of wine she nudged Harry's shoulder and waved the empty bottle in front of him. Harry grinned, he drew out his wand and with a short flicker the bottles refilled before their eyes.
"You're a great friend," She said cheerfully.
'What if I don't want to be just your friend?'
"Mel, my feelings haven't changed since we were fourteen."
She didn't look fazed by his statement, merely exasperated.
"Harry—"
"Say you don't feel the same," The boy retorted. "Say it and I promise I'll move on. I made Erick promise he would if you rejected him, it's only fair I do the same."
"We can't talk about this."
His eyes were like green fire, Mel felt like he could see every part of her soul.
"I can't like you, Harry."
"Bloody hell..." He groaned in frustration.
He was fighting for a real answer, but it seemed that the potion was cancelling each other's luck. Harry's whole body tensed, he took a deep breath, then he spoke.
"Alright," He said. "You care for Erick—you love him... that's it, then."
Erick was a lot of things to her, every single one important, and he was her equal in all the aspects that could matter... but she didn't want to give up Harry.
"Harry Potter!" Hagrid exclaimed abruptly, Mel was pretty sure he was on his fourteenth drink.
"Yes, indeed! Parry Otter, the Chosen Boy Who — well — something of that sort..."
It was time to take action.
"It's getting late, Hagrid," She took away Hagrid's bucket. "The night's not as young as it used to be..."
"Aaargh, the good die young," Hagrid shook his head, Mel wanted to say that Aragog was far from young by the time he died. "Me dad was no age ter go... nor were yer mum an' dads, children... Bes' wiz and witchards o' their age I never knew... terrible thing... terrible thing... terrible."
Hagrid dropped his head between his arms, he instantly fell asleep.
"Sorry," Slughorn finished his senseless singing. "Can't carry a tune to save my life."
"Hagrid wasn't talking about your singing," said Harry. "He was talking about our parents dying."
"Oh... Oh dear. Yes, that was — was terrible indeed. Terrible... terrible..."
He tried to fill all of their cups, but Mel stopped him.
"I don't — don't suppose you remember it, children?" He asked.
"No — well, we were only one when they died," Harry shrugged. "But we've found out pretty much what happened since. Mel's dad died first, then my dad. Did you know that?"
"I — I didn't..."
"Yeah... Voldemort murdered them and then stepped over their bodies toward my mum. Emily said she knew something terrible happened when it was Dumbledore who turned up at her door with Mel in his arms. You know," Harry turned to her. "I never told you what your dad said to me at the cemetery."
Mel blinked. "He spoke to you?"
"He wanted me to make sure your family was safe — He wanted Emily to have a long, happy life even if he wasn't there to live it with her."
"What did you tell him?"
"That I'd keep you away from danger" He replied, his gaze fixed on her. "That's why I pushed you away in the first place, before I knew Voldemort was after you for reasons that didn't have to do with me. I'm sorry I didn't explain it to you afterwards, I forgot half of the things that happened that night... When we started our Occlumency lessons I started to remember what he'd said, but I thought there was no point in telling you now..."
Dumbledore had made her fear her heritage, thinking every person in her family had been selfish in one way or another, but her father had died for a noble cause, and he never looked for fame, he never cared for revenge.
Mel was his daughter, hadn't her mother told her she reminded her of Matthew more and more with each year that passed? There was no way she'd turn evil, crazy, or drunk with power; she was Matthew Dumbledore's heiress.
"He told my mum to get out of the way, you know?" Harry continued further, this time looking at Slughorn. "He told me she needn't have died. He only wanted me. She could have run."
"Oh dear... She could have... she needn't... That's awful..."
"It is, isn't it?" Harry's voice sounded like Luna's in a way, sort of dreamy, yet present enough to know he wasn't talking nonsense. "But she didn't move. Our dads were already dead, but she didn't want us to go too, she tried to plead with Voldemort... but he just laughed..."
"That's enough! Really, my dear boy, enough... I'm an old man... I don't need to hear... I don't want to hear..."
"I forgot," Harry leaned back on his chair. "You liked her, didn't you?"
"Liked her?" Slughorn teared up. "I don't imagine anyone who met her wouldn't have liked her... with the exception of your own mother, Mel, but even she came around, and they became inseparable... Very brave, funny... two feisty girls... It was the most horrible thing..."
"But you won't help their children," said Harry. "My mum gave us her life and Emily brought us up on her own, but you won't give us a memory."
"Don't say that—It isn't a question... If it were to help you, of course... but no purpose can be served..."
"Memories are a curious thing, Professor," Mel said. "Sometimes we deem them unimportant, but yours could be the answer we've been trying to find."
"Dumbledore needs information. We need information," Harry leaned forward. "I am the Chosen One. I have to kill him. I need that memory. Mel vowed to help me, she's already saved my life multiple times. The least I can do in return is to fulfil my part of the prophecy."
"You are the Chosen One?" Slughorn paled.
"Of course I am," said Harry.
"But then... my dear boy... you're asking a great deal... you're asking me, in fact, to aid you in your attempt to destroy —"
"You don't want to get rid of the wizard who killed Lily Evans?"
"Harry, Harry, of course I do, but —"
"You're scared he'll find out you helped me?"
"It's okay if you are," Mel reached for his hand. "We're not asking you to die for us, it's the other way around... Harry and I would do anything so people like you can live a long, peaceful life."
It wasn't entirely true, of course. They didn't want to die, nor they were ready, but she'd gotten to a point where delivering lies was most natural, and she certainly didn't feel guilty about lying to someone who refused to be honest in the first place.
"Be brave like my mother, Professor..." Harry encouraged him.
Slughorn covered his mouth with trembling fingers.
"I am not proud..." He muttered. "I am ashamed of what — of what that memory shows... I think I may have done great damage that day..."
"We all makes mistakes," Mel reassured him.
"And you'd cancel out anything you did by giving us the memory," added Harry. "It would be a very brave and noble thing to do."
Harry and Mel sat there and waited, Slughorn processed their words in the drunken state he was. Their Professor drew out his wand, with his free hand he pulled out an empty bottle. Without breaking eye contact, he guided the silver misty string from his temple, and he let it drop slowly until the whole thing was inside the bottle. He put a cork on top and handed it to Harry with a shaky hand.
"Thank you very much, Professor," Harry said quietly.
"You're good children, Harry, you've got her eyes..." Slughorn's clouded eyes landed on her. "You know, great things have been said about the Dumbledores, Mel, but I think none of them ever held the spirit you've got."
For the first time in a while, she believed those words completely.
"Just don't think too badly of me once you've got what you wanted," He finished miserably.
Slughorn leaned further down until his right cheek was completely against the table and snored quietly.
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"What sort of time do you call this?" The Fat Lady asked indignantly.
"We're really sorry — we had to go out for something important —"
"Well, the password changed at midnight, so you'll just have to sleep in the corridor, won't you?"
"You're joking! Why did it have to change at midnight?"
"That's the way it is."
Mel groaned, the effects of the potion were wearing off and she was turning back into the sulky sixteen-year-old she was. Things were no longer 'sweet' nor 'funny', things were just things and she wanted to go to bed.
"If you're angry, go and take it up with the headmaster, he's the one who's tightened security."
"Fantastic," Harry was starting to sound like himself again too. "Really brilliant. Yeah, we would go and take it up with Dumbledore if he was here, because he's the one who wanted me to —"
"He is here," Nearly Headless Nick appeared at the end of the stairs. "Professor Dumbledore returned to the school an hour ago. I had it from the Bloody Baron, who saw him arrive — He appeared, according to the Baron, to be in good spirits, though a little tired, of course."
"Where is he?" Harry demanded.
"Oh, groaning and clanking up on the Astronomy Tower, it's a favourite pastime of his —"
"Not the Bloody Baron — Dumbledore!"
"Oh — in his office. I believe, from what the Baron said, that he had business to attend to before turning in —"
"Yeah, he has!" Harry seized Mel's hand and ran.
"Come back!" The Fat Lady yelled. "All right, I lied! I was annoyed you woke me up! The password's still 'tapeworm'!"
Mel and Harry reached Dumbledore's office in less than ten minutes, panting and even more exhausted, but very much awake.
"Enter," said Dumbledore from behind the door.  "Good gracious, children," He exclaimed as soon as he saw them. "To what do I owe this very late pleasure?"
"Sir — we've got it. We've got the memory from Slughorn."
The headmaster was so shocked he didn't speak, then a smile suddenly adorned his face.
"This is spectacular news! Very well done indeed! I knew you could do it!" Dumbledore almost sprinted to where they were standing, he took the memory away and hurried towards his pensive. "And now... Now, at last, we shall see. Quickly..."
A clap of loud, booming thunder echoed around the office, Mel froze.
"A storm..." She said under her breath.
Dumbledore's smile grew.
"Well, dear girl, you know what to do."
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RYAN: -back at it again at the silvah dollah. it's kinda nice to have someplace new to stalk around the later hours of the day. she knows it's not exactly advisable for various reasons to transportalize out onto the satelite isolated far from her home. but... whatever. it's comfortable here and finding comfort elsewhere, somewhere more familiar, is a difficult task for her.-
RYAN: -she's hanging out at the counter again, poking at the remaining contents of a strawberry milkshake and being far less chatty than she was yesterday.-
SILVAH: -Given that there's not really much ON this station other than Skaianet research facilities, private research facilities and basically....the one resturaunt at least there's not much trouble Ryan can get up to up here. Silvah is just finishing cleaning and restoring his stocks from last night. He stayed up far too late and got a little drunk himself, but he's in good spirits. He's fairly sure the reopening was  rousing success and that he's gonna make back the money he spent on the deck. Big man is boppin with the radio as he works until he finally makes his way back behind the counter and sees Ryan there. His fins flick.-
SILVAH: Blondie!
SILVAH: I thought I made a regular outta you.
RYAN: -perks up, immediately putting on a smile when she hears his voice, but it's definitely half hearted.-
RYAN: naturally??? youve got some great vibes going on here. :blush:
SILVAH: I built it that way babycakes, but that don't mean it ain't nice to hear.
SILVAH: -starts restocking the baked goods displays as they chitchat.-
SILVAH: You had some pretty good vibes yourself last night. -Not so much today though, huh? He's peepin on her.-
RYAN: again. naturally! as a new regular youll soon discover im always the life of the party. :wink:  -leans on the counter, chin in her hand.- SILVAH: That's quite a claim. Maybe I should think about buyin a leaderboard. Huh huh.
SILVAH: Sure are cute though. Feel like I should be payin you to sit there and look pretty.
RYAN: well im not about to turn down that offer. :hugging: 
RYAN: ive got a pretty lengthy resume as a professional cutie. you wouldnt regret the decision.
SILVAH: Now, now. I'm not totally sold.  You strike me as a troublemaker too.
SILVAH: Acutally now that I'm thinkin about it, the round robin never made it to ya.
SILVAH: What's your story?
RYAN: :scream: 
RYAN: its not polite to ask a lady such questions...
RYAN: which is definitely NOT something a troublemaker would say. :thinking: SILVAH: Keepin it close to the vest I see. That's fine. I'll get it out of ya eventually.
SILVAH: Food is great at makin people talk. RYAN: -chinhands intensifies.- yeah? what do you find is the best thing to feed a person to get them to share their life story? SILVAH: Somethin' caffeinated.
SILVAH: I'll tell you what- I'm crossin strawberry milkshakes off the list as of today.
RYAN: -giggles. geez... it feels good to laugh.-
RYAN: okay fine. youve fed me enough lines to change my tune. :stuck_out_tongue: 
RYAN: youre right about me... i am a troublemaker. but im trying to cut back these days. SILVAH: -Seems satisfied at getting her to laugh. And to crack.-
SILVAH: Respect, little lady. It's not easy.
SILVAH: I'm also one of those.
RYAN: yeah? what are your vices?
RYAN: mine incluuuuude... -checks them off on her fingers as she says them in an attempt to keep it light.- running away. all manner of narcotics. and beautiful sad men and women that only break your heart.
RYAN: so you know. the standard really.
SILVAH: You're right. That is a hell of a resume. -Scratches under his  fat chin with Robut hand.-
SILVAH: Lesee....I'm right there with ya on runnin away. Dissapointin my family. Sexual deviancy. An you may have noticed that I like to eat a lil bit.
SILVAH: We already got the makins of a pretty good country song. Too bad that's not my favorite genre.
RYAN: hehehe. id love to inspire any kinda song really.
RYAN: but other than that it seems weve got a lot in common. -sips milkshake.-
RYAN: ive been... disappointing a lot of people for a long time. but i feel like i really dropped the fucking ball again recently. :weary:
SILVAH: -Now he's got both fins angled towards her.- You wanna get into it?
SILVAH: Don't gotta. But if you feel like you need to I have time.
SILVAH: That's how I got so fat. I'm full of secrets.
RYAN: -snickers and shrugs, swirling the straw around in the glass thoughtfully.- well... guess theres no harm in it.
RYAN: since youre being so nice and charming. :wink: 
RYAN: things have just been... i dunno.
RYAN: first i fell off the wagon.
RYAN: definitely disappointed my family... and probably my boyfriend. or like. whatever our deal even is. -sighs.-
RYAN: then my ex comes along and starts pulling some burn book bullshit... spilling all my secrets. pissing off my friends. making aforementioned romantic relationship all the more complicated. i think.
RYAN: ugh. -just sighs. it's hard to really dig deep when it's all so frustrating, so she just kinda slumps a little.-
SILVAH: Mm. Did ya say some things you regret?
RYAN: -nods slowly, pouting a little.-
RYAN: yeah. so much stupid shit.
RYAN: im trying to fix things but... i dont know--
RYAN: i dont know what im doing half the time.
SILVAH: -Pauses for a minuite, and while he's processing all the vibes he's picking up from her he's making himself look busy, which is something he's pretty practiced at by now.-
SILVAH: It's not the easy route. It's easier to keep cuttin out. Start over somewhere where they don't know ya. But that would be a waste in the long run.
SILVAH: If you keep tryin eventually they'll see the effort and appreciate it. Even if you're graspin at straws and you say all the wrong shit. RYAN: -peers up at him, finding that answer... strangely comforting. she gets the sense he understands. maybe because of his own experiences, or just because he's used to dealing with sad sacks like her. it was kind of a cliche. in any case, she's quiet for a moment as she thinks it all over too. her voice is a little hushed when she does speak, a bit embarrassed by admitting the things she is... but knowing full well she needs to say it.-
RYAN: i feel like my efforts are pushing him away.
RYAN: alienating him cuz he feels guilty too. hes always stuck in his own head.
  RYAN: i think he feels like hes not good enough. but i dont really get it. im the one who kept running away.
RYAN: he never did anything wrong. at least i dont think he did. it just-- a shitty time. and i dunno if its ever gonna pass so long as im around to remind him that-- fuck.
RYAN: -puts her head in her hand with a sigh.- sorry im not making sense anymore.
SILVAH: -Frowns as he takes this in, and at the same time takes in extra information. All her good intentions, the desperation that go along with them.- Y'know most of the time tryin to anticipate what someone's gonna do or why they feel the way they feel is real misleadin. Unless you have a real blunt discussion about it, you could never know. You might've fucked up, but it don't mean every bad thing that person's feelin is your fault.
SILVAH: The stuff you can pin down as yours is what you should concentrate on, is what I'm sayin.
RYAN: -peers up from behind her hand, eyes glossy with sadness but... there's some hope too. she laughs a little, trying not to seem too broken up about the stuff going on in her head.-
RYAN: i hear you.
RYAN: i just...
RYAN: wanna know im making someone happy for once.
RYAN: you know?
SILVAH: -She seems so vulnerable, it almost hurts to look. They're barely acquaintances at this point, but he doesn't care, he's gonna lightly reach out and touch her hand with his non robotic one.- You got yourself a super acheivable goal there, blondie. I think you're gonna be ok.
SILVAH: -Backs it up with a warm smile too. Believe him. He belives in you!-
RYAN: -well... it's hard not to smile when it feels like someone believes in you. and for some reason, in this moment she kind of believes it too. she doesn't mind the touch. she welcomes it in fact, feeling a little bit touch starved lately.-
RYAN: ill definitely be okay if i keep coming back for these milkshakes...
SILVAH: Hah! You think I'm gonna let you keep orderin just milkshakes.
SILVAH: -Pats her hand, gives it a gentle little squeeze and then releases her.-
RYAN: -giggles again. what a big softie...- i thought the customer was always right???? rude ass...
SILVAH: -Laughs with her. Huh huh huh.- I'mma personally fight whoever came up with that horse shite. The customer ain't right even half the time, let alone always.
SILVAH: This is the only place in the goddamn world where I control everythin. It ain't a fuckin democracy.
RYAN: -snorts and then full on cackles.- geez!!! then i guess ill have to refer to your expert opinion every day im here. :wink:
  SILVAH:  Heh heh. S'long as its real food some of the time I'll be a happy clam.
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