#im sooooo tired my legs are jelly

[fiskki]

day 1 freediving (babys first sport in adulthood)

did not meet sharks yet made friends with a blowfish and then a crab jumped in my face 8/10 need a better mask

[beesmygod]

i had this typed up for my newsletter im working on lol. i solved one of my health mysteries. tl;dr: food allergy

---

having a completely fucked up sleep schedule goes hand in hand with having a fucked up food schedule, which means my last meal is when the sun comes up and i dont get hungry until late in the day. any attempts to break this pattern risk waking up ravenously, eating-raw-meat-out-of-the-freezer hungry in the middle of what was supposed to be my sleep cycle. i do whatever the opposite of torpor is. i invented a worse way of mammalian living. do NOT steal.

so anyway, every night before i go to bed, i would fill my empty tummy with a delicious peanut butter and strawberry jelly sandwich. this is because strawberry is the tastiest, most accessible jelly. let me explain: when you go to a diner and search through the little jelly basket with all the jellies in it, you will see these flavors and these flavors ONLY!!! (ranked by deliciousness):

strawberry

orange marmalade

mixed berry

the putrid concord grape

orange marmalade is a distant second to the only good jelly on this list. i like strawberry jam.

in the mornings, i started eating special k cereal (red berries, again, the only good one) hoping the vitamin c would cure whatever was causing me to feel so fucking sick and miserable on a daily basis. every day i would wake up exhausted and every night i would go to bed in terrible pain from my entire chest down. it was hard to explain my symptoms outside of just feeling like total shit generally. to be honest, i thought it was just the result of bad living. my chest was often tight but i attributed this to how freakishly tense my body is from years of letting anxiety run ramshod over my brain and body. ive had this problem for over a decade.

recently, i went on vacation for a few days to d.c. with my boyfriend, adam. on the evening of the second day, as we shared a plate of fried chicken livers as romantically as possible, i told him, "i feel so good. this is the best i've felt in a long time!". and i really meant it. the rash on my face had cleared up significantly, my stabbing chest pain i had attributed to heartburn/dying was gone, and best of all, i felt like i could breathe. my chest no longer felt like it was being crushed and my lungs didnt feel like they were sticking together instead of inflating. my legs didnt even hurt as much when i walked, which seemed like a massive achievement to me.

i came home from d.c. late in the evening and returned to my nightly ritual sandwich. that's when i noticed, for the first time ever (now that i was unburdened with terrible pain elsewhere), that my mouth was burning and tingling in a way that might be textbook anaphylaxis.

i thought back to the time when my sister told me she liked the taste of bananas but they were too spicy for her. and how i laughed at her and said "what the hell are you talking about", which in turn lead to the discovery of her birch allergy. i also thought back to high school when i suddenly started feeling very ill, tired, and weak almost every single day. but i would still *~bravely~* find the strength to go into work nearly every day. i would be sooooo hungry by the time i got to my job immediately after getting out of school and wouldnt get to eat until i got home at 9pm. so i would commit a little corporate theft and eat some sample sized special k (red berries) intended for patrons. hmm. a pattern is emerging.

now i have an epipen and blood work being processed by a doctor who expressed mild horror at how frequently i was dosing myself with a little bit of near death experience just for delicious strawberries. as it turns out, you feel a lot better once you stop poisoning yourself on a daily basis. at no point did i ever think i was going to die from any of my various problems despite having every symptom that obviously points at a reaction. i dont know. i thought i just rolled some bad genetic dice and got stuck with the shitty body lol.

i did sort of eat the rest of the sandwich tho. it was good. no ragrets

[mrevaunit42]

Reckless heroing (Boku no academia AU) part 2

and here it is, part two of the star vs my hero academia au. I hope you all enjoy it, have an amazing week! the link for part one is below. this means narration and this means flashback

https://mrevaunit42.tumblr.com/post/162853635472/im-going-to-be-a-hero-boku-no-academia-au-part 

nofifcation squad: @artgirllullaby @isolated-frequencies @hipster-rapunzel @minthia-ren @thefandombytes if you want to be a part of the notify squad, let me know 

Marco could feel how frayed his nerves were, a sickening numb feeling mixing with the unsettling emptiness deep inside his stomach.

The protractor of the exam stood at the podium in the center of the stage, her piercing light blue eyes scanning over the auditorium carefully, studying and taking in each of the heroic hopefuls that filled the room.

She brushed her braided periwinkle blue hair behind her shoulder, coughing lightly into the microphone in hopes of getting everyone's attention.

“I will not waste time with what we already know” she spoke softly yet firmly into the microphone “The exam will be conducted in 2 phases: The written and the practical exam. I hope you did well to study. The test will now begin. If anyone is caught cheating, you will be removed from the premises and automatically disqualified. I will also be very crossed and I rather not be today. You may now begin.”

Marco gulped, taking his pencil into his shaky grip.

Marco could feel the relief slide out of his bones as a group of students followed behind the periwinkle haired protractor while exciting murmurs and worrisome chatting filled the air.

Marco was sure he did well but at the same time there was some post test nagging biting at his resolve: Was it more important to fill out the UA report first or the police one? Running blindly into a burning house was a poorly thought plan, right? Right. Right? Right! Umm maybe.

“Sooooo how'd you do?”

Marco jumped, dropping into a fighting position only to notice Star's beaming face

“S-Star!” he coughed, straightening up and scratching at his cheek “Sorry, I....”

“So, did you pass, did you pass, did you pass?” Star cheerfully asked, wrapping an arm around Marco's neck.

“I think so...” Marco willed his blush away to prevent further embarrassment “How about you?”

Star gave a shrug “I probably didn't get them all right but that's okay, the practical exam is where I'm going to shine! HI YAH!”

Star gave a theoretical karate chop and threw in a kick for good measure.

“Man, I wish I had your confidence.”

Star tilted her head cutely “Well, why not?”

Marco blinked in confusion “Umm...well....”

“You just need to believe in yourself buddy and I believe in you, go Marco!”

“Aww thanks Star, I'll bet you'll do great!”

“Aww Marco, hugs!”

and just like, without a second thought or pause in her step, Star wrapped her arms around Marco tightly.  

“am I interrupting anything Star?”

Marco could feel his heart crawl to a stop as dozens of eyes landed on him and Star, an awkward tense silence as the blue haired protractor gaze focused squarely on his face.  

Marco motioned to pull free of Star's grip but she refused to let go.

“Nope, I'm listening mom!”

Moon rolled her eyes at her daughter's antics but kept leading everyone to the next location.

“Mom? Wait! That's your mom?!”

Star shrugged “Yeah, so what?”

“Wow” Ferguson eyed the couple carefully “You got a girlfriend Marco?”

Marco sighed “No Ferguson, she's not my girlfriend.”

“ooooh” Stars eyes widen with curiosity “Who's that?”

“Hey, I'm the Ferg” Ferguson clicked his tongue and pointed at Star “coolest guy around and soon to be hero extraordinaire”

“She knows your name is Ferguson, I just said it” Marco answered as deadpanned as he could “He's one of my classmates and friends. He doesn't think quite....realistically”  

“Don't be jelly Marco”

“I'm not.”

“oooo hi Ferguson!” Star gave a cheery wave “Nice to meet you”

“Star, focus?” Moon called outstretched

“Sorry mom!”

Moon gave a tired sigh as she gestured behind her.

The group stood in the shadow of two massive gates towering high above and wedged in between two ends of a circular concrete wall.

“This is our training ground” Moon explained “It is a recreation of Echo city. Our students learn how to deal with urban environments in various combat, pursuit and other varying situations and scenarios. This is where you will be taking the practical examination.”

The hushed murmurs and excited whispers broke out at once.

“The examination will be a test of your quirks and general heroic abilities” Moon continued over the chatter “Set loose within these walls are three types of enemies, all robotic so you need not worry about hurting anyone. Each robot has a point value attached to them worth 1, 2 or 3 points depending on the difficulty. Simply put, your job is to destroy as many as these foes as you can as these points, alongside your written score, will determine if you will be accepted into the U.A. Oh and as a side note, there is a fourth enemy but it's more of a distraction than anything. It's worth 0 points and isn't worth your time. We will begin in a moment, please prepare yourself. You will have 10 minutes to gain as many points as you can.”

Marco felt a cold wave of dread overtake him, his concern drowned out by the more eager teens.

Could he do this? He literally just got his power this morning and while River explained how it theoretically worked, he had no chance to actually test out the application or even how to active it. And he had to take on various enemies while competing against people who've had years to master and learn their quirks. Every second Marco thought about it, the more dire it became. There's no way he could do this, his dream of being a hero was about end right here, right...

“Marco”

Marco snapped out of his thought and turned to find Star staring at him, determination burning in her eyes.

“We can do this.”

“Star, I...”

“We can do this”

Marco could feel Star's conviction and belief in her words. He could feel the faith she had in him. that they would both make the hero class. that they would both save the world one day.

Pride and hope swelled in Marco's chest and for a brief moment he could see how Star was River's daughter. Their unbound happiness and faith in people was incredibly infectious.

“Right, I got this!” Marco nodded to himself.

“I don't got this” Marco muttered in a defeated tone, his face sagging at the chaotic sight of the mass combat that took place.

The robots did in fact come in three different sizes, from tiny bots that were hardly bigger than a scooter to a 6 foot tall, vaguely humanoid shape with spindly arms and legs. For things determining if they were going to be a hero or not, they were pretty underwhelming.

What was overwhelming was the ferocity the other potential heroes fought with. He had never seen his classmates (and strangers) fight with such reckless and frightening abandon.

Tom the jerk was calmly walking through the hordes of robotic opponents, the bright orange flames burning with an intensity greater than the sun. Any robot foolish enough to try to engage him head on quickly turned into a liquid, metal slop on the pavement. Robots that stayed away didn't fair much better as he lobbed fireballs recklessly into as many of them as he could, burning a fist sized hole in their centers as they crumbled.

Janna was being Janna, cockily gesturing to any and all helpless prey she found. A black rune would form onto the surface of the enemy then fade quickly. The robots glanced quizzically at the beanie wearing girl who clicked her tongue mischievously. Sparks covered their metallic bodies but before they could react, their limbs would loosen from their sockets, their optics popped and broke and without warning, they would simply shut down with Janna's cackling the last sound each robotic foe heard.

As expected from The Queen's and All Might's daughter, Star was a naturally gifted combatant. When she wasn't smashing bots faces against the floor, she was sweeping them off their feet with a well placed kick and for the studier metallic foes, she would karate throw them over her shoulder, releasing a bloodthirsty warcry before moving onto the next unfortunate enemy on her list.

Jackie (Marco let out a dreamy sigh) slid around on her skateboard, a laidback smile on her face as she lazily sailed through the battlefield, lightly tapping any target she came across. A thin layer of frost would spread from the point of contact, enveloping the hapless robotic foe until they were completely encased in ice.

“Hey Marco!” Jackie called out to the petrified teen“You gotta move if you want to stay in the game”

Marco gave a shy nod as she made her way past before shaking himself out of his stupor. He couldn't just sit here and let his chance slip away!

But it was hard. Every time he found a perfect target, they would flattened, shredded, crushed, snapped, blown up or just ripped apart without warning. The points were being snatched up and the enemies were dwindling quickly. At this rate, he'd never get even a single point! All his hard work would be for nothing.

Marco blinked as the world began shake in a strange pattern: A boom followed by a shake followed by another boom, repeating over and over again almost like they were...

The sound of battle was quickly drowned out by the shattering of glass, the crunching thuds of concrete and the bending of metal girders under some heavy weight.

A plume of smoked rose as one of the 20 story buildings fell without warning and in its place stood an impossibly gigantic robot that made the remaining buildings look tiny.

Marco stood there slack-jawed at mechanical marvel that towered over all of them “I-is that the...?”

“The distraction mom mentioned?” Star finished while standing next to Marco “It has to be, it's the only thing we haven't seen.”

“She did mention it was distracting. I guess I'm surprised how much so”

“Why is something like that worth zero points?” Star wondered outloud.

“Maybe...” Marco began

“HELP! LIKE DUDES HELP!”

Marco and Star were pulled from their thoughts. Someone was in trouble.

The pair searched the surrounding area but aside from the now still test takers and scattered debris of what were formerly training bots, no one seemed to be in any sort of danger.

“Wait” Marco gently patted Star's shoulder “there!”

Star squinted where Marco pointed and the circular object she saw earlier wasn't an object at all, it was Ferguson!

“What? Ferguson?”

“HELP DUDES!” Ferguson waved his arms frantically “I can't change back!”

“What's he talking about?”

Marco thought back to his notebook of quirks he studied, pulling up the information he observed from all his years of school with the orange haired teen “Ferg's quirk lets him expand parts of his body, adding more weight and mass to whatever he does. However, when he gets nervous or scared, his whole body puffs up like a puffer fish as a defense mechanism. Until he calms down, he won't be able to return to normal”

“Why would he freak out?”

The ground shook once more as the giant mech took a step closer, easily clearing the half of mile between it and the testers. What was once a massive shape in the distance now basked them in its shadow.

It's amazing that with how diverse and varied humanity was as a whole, only one thought filled the minds of the hopeful students which was to run as fast as they could away from the metal tower.

Everyone scattered, putting as much distance as they could between them and the 0 point giant robot.

Star turned to leave only for her to notice Marco hadn't moved from his spot, his body trembling out of fear. For a moment she thought he was too afraid to escape, that a deep sense of despair overtook him and held him in rooted to the spot. Then she realized while he was shaking due to fear, his face was set in a grim determination.

“HELP!” Ferguson cried out once more.

Star gasped upon realizing Ferguson was still frightened and helpless. Not that she could blame him, the massive bot was just behind him and Star's heart fell when she saw it raise its foot once more to take another step with Ferguson still trapped underneath.

Star desperately looked for her mother. She had to find her and stop this test before Ferguson was seriously injured.

She had to find a way to stop this tragedy from happening.

“Mom!” Star yelled, eyes darting back and forth “MOM! MOM STOP THE TEST! STOP THE TEST! Marco, have you seen...?”

Star turned back to her new friend only to find a crater dug deeply into the ground, the once smooth surface of the asphalt cracked and broken with Marco nowhere in sight.

“AHHHHHHHHHHHH”

The fierce scream caught Star's ears and her gaze shifted to the source of the sound, the one place she would've never thought to look: skyward.

Her blue pupils widened as she saw Marco rising through the air quickly: 10, 15, 20, 50 feet into the air. Rising and rising with his fist pulled back almost like he was planning on striking the robot down.

Marco sailed through the air, the howling of the wind nearly muted as blood thundered in his ears. He couldn't let Ferguson get hurt. Even if he didn't get any points, even if he came all this way for nothing, he couldn't sit there and watch as one of his closest friends was crushed under the foot of some idiotic, mindless robot! He wouldn't let that happen.

Ever

The robot grew in size rapidly as Marco closed the distance, fully intending to smash his fist as hard as he could into its stupid face.

Marco was too caught up in his rage to realize a flaw in his plan. The fact he was now 50 feet in the air was lost on him. The idea that he was about to try and punch out a several ton robot that toppled a building by leaning on it didn't seem to register. All he felt was a desire to save his friend.

Marco could see the wide, human sized optic condense and narrow its focus on him. The robot cutely tilted its head sideways, almost like it was silently asking him “What are you planning silly human?”

Marco's response was the punch.

There was a tense moment of silence as Marco's fist connected directly in the center of the robot's face, unmoving and still while a reverberating thrum echoed deep inside the metallic body of his enemy.

Then Marco was shoved backwards from the force of the attack and for one picturesque moment, he floated there, weightless and still.  

A groaning ripple began to spread out from where Marco landed his blow, racing throughout the giant machine's body like a wave, lifting and lowering the armor plates into a disorganized mess. The sound of crunching and broken metal filled the silence as the ripple made its way through every inch of the robotic body.

Then Marco fell, gravity finally solidifying its hold on him and pulling him straight down.

Back of the bot's head exploded, spraying coils of wires, gears, random chunks of metal across the empty street as it leaned forward and fell backwards, crashing against the ground with an earth rumbling thud.

Marco clutched his right arm, eyes watering as sharp pains began to ache through his body. His arm and legs were badly broken and flailed loosely against the raging air current.

“Indeed but before we go, there's something I need to tell you about One for All and your current state. This is important, so you need to listen carefully.”

Marco turned back to River, his face serious and full of concern.

“Just because you have One for All does not mean you cannot use it freely” River explained “Even after all your training and getting you ready to inherit the power was to only prevent you from dying when you use it.”

Marco's face paled “Dying?! What, I could die using it?”

“Not anymore” River chuckled “However I must warn you. In your current state, using One for All will have serious consequences. At very least you will dislocate, if not break your bones. Think carefully Marco when you decide to use it.”

Marco mentally scolded himself. Everything had happen so suddenly, he hadn't even thought about what he was doing. He just reacted and apparently used One for All without realizing it.

And now he was going to die. Zero points and with 3 broken limbs. What a way to go.

The ground was quickly approaching but no matter how hard he tried, Marco couldn't find a way to stop himself without becoming a splat on the ground.

Marco shut his eyes, too scared to see what would happen next.

The howling of the wind stopped and slowed as bopped up and down for a moment.  what was a harsh gale was now a gentle if uneasy breeze. The fluttering of wings could be heard and for a moment, he wondered if he had died and gone to heaven.

He opened his eyes and realized while he hadn't died, he was looking at an angel.

Star Butterfly was carrying him bridal style, a relived smile on her lips though she couldn't keep the worry out of those bright big blue orbs of hers.

“S-Star?” Marco stuttered “you're flying? You're flying! How?”

“My quirk silly” She motioned to her back “I can fly!”

Marco glanced backwards and found two pinkish purple butterfly wings sticking out of Star's back, beating back and forth rapidly as the duo made their descent.

“That...” Marco muttered tiredly “is so....cool...”

“Marco?”

Star looked at Marco only to find him fast asleep, his breath slow and steady.

“Hee, I knew you were special.”

“He's as heroically reckless as you dear” Moon spoke, watching the medical team's arrival on the monitor. Luckily for Marco, the UA had some of the best medical heroes in the world. His broken limbs would be fixed soon enough.

“A little. But he's got heart and the spirit of a true hero” River commented, stroking his beard thoughtfully

Moon sighed “Well he's lucky he is. Thanks to that heroic action, he's the only participant who will receive full rescue points. He'll be admitted into the school for sure.”

River gave a good nature laugh “Rescue points. I love them so. It's easy to get caught up in the glory of combat and heroing but true heroes never forget.”

The monitor focused on the sleeping Diaz, his face relaxed as the medical team carried him away on a stretcher.

“It's not just about fighting evil, it's about saving people.”

“Well spoken” Moon concurred “you may tell him whenever you feel like but please don't let the poor boy go too long without knowing he's been accepted. He will no doubt feel terrible that he didn't score any points.”

“Psst, who do you think I am dear?” River scoffed “I will be sure to tell him when he returns home tonight.”

I remember nearly killing River for waiting 5 whole days to tell me I made it into the academy. Seriously, who does that? But it was the happiest day of my life. My first real step on my journey in becoming the greatest hero that's ever lived.