#im sorry but you do just have to deal with that dor now

[morning-frost-daily]

Day 48

It's gonna be an oil painting

[oh-theatre]

I just saw a post talking about how patton giving permisson for Remus to exists made him unsymp and I know you dont like Unsymp!Patton but i was just wondering your thoughts on this just cause im a little confused and i think you mentioned you suffer from Intrusive thoughts and maybe you could explain or something?

Nonnie you are absolutely fine and Ill definitely try my best. I do suffer from intrusive thoughts so I can kind of explain this. Also, I’m not the smartest person so…

So I completely understand why Patton giving Thomas permission to think these thoughts could be seen as unsympathetic and how in turn he’s giving permission for Remus to exist but its a lot more complicated than that. Remus, in his own right, does encompass ‘dark creativity’ which includes intrusive thoughts. 

Now, intrusive thoughts are things you can’t just will out, as explained in the video you cant just say ‘Im not gonna think about them’ it only makes them more prominent. The best thing you can do is identify that they are there but that they are just that intrusive thoughts. The keyword being intrusive. What was really great about the video is how Thomas is shown feeling guilty and debating whether he was a bad person for thinking those thoughts, based on how he was raised and such. 

Patton himself encompasses apart of that, he is his morality. It’s his job to deem what’s right and wrong based on what Thomas feels. I know that when I first got intrusive thoughts I felt absolutely AWFUL and incredibly guilty. I didn’t understand them and why they were happening. That’s where Logan comes in, he helps explain what they are he helps rid any confusion that Thomas and Patton have about what intrusive thoughts are. 

Patton sees them at first as not the best and possibly deeming Thomas as a ‘bad person’. Which is understandable, I think that went really overboard after DWIT. Patton, though a little misguided, was completely allowed to be worried dor concerned. I was, imagine having a voice in your head asking if you want to kill your own brother. Like Logan said (In a better put sense), a super important part of dealing with intrusive thoughts is accepting them, allowing them to happen. Allowing yourself that liberty to have them and get through them. 

Patton saying ‘I give you permission’ was so incredibly important because we have to remember they are FACETS of Thomas’s personality. Thomas is allowing himself to think these thoughts and not feel guilty. He’s not giving Remus permission to exists, not at all. Specifically, he references the ‘thoughts’, not Remus. Remus is going to exist no matter what, its just going to be easier for Thomas. 

It goes beyond Patton is unsympathetic and sees Remus as a dark side blah blah… no, it’s much deeper and honestly much more important. Its directly relating to Thomas and trying to help Thomas which is the most important thing.

I hoped this helped nonnie! Thanks for the questions love! (Im stupid so this probably doesnt make sense...sorry)

[bluethepaladin]

Yo blue im on a super duper important quest to find really good lance centric fics, you know, that high quality top shelf kinda stuff. ive already read ur fic but im lookin for more. Got any recs????????

hey there, friend, you came to the right place! sorry this took so long, I made this whole post and then my computer was being difficult and I lost the whole thing, so this is the second time I’m making it! thank you so much for reading when I dream it happens in blue. I’ve got some great new content on the way, but in the meantime, here are some great reads to hold you over!

>

7 Times They Noticed by @em-the-cliche

Lance was alright. He was happy. He was fine. Except when he wasn’t.

“Listen. Are you alright?”“Uh…are you alright?”“Are you okay buddy?”“Are…are you in good health, paladin?“Are…are you okay, paladin?”“Hey. You okay?”

His team mates, his second family - they noticed.

A Commutual Contract by @skaylanphear​

After a terrifying experience during which Lance, seemingly, dies, Keith is haunted by horrible nightmares of holding his comrade in his arms while he took his final breath. To the point where he can’t sleep unless he knows for absolute certain that Lance is alive.

And while the attention is surprising, Lance doesn’t really have a problem with Keith checking up on him. Or the fact that Keith only seems totally comforted when he can cuddle Lance close and hear his heart beat. After all, there’s nothing wrong with two bros cuddling. It doesn’t MEAN anything. Or, at least, that’s what Lance keeps telling himself.

At Rest (Five Miles Behind the Front) by @thisgirlhastales

Shiro is no longer the Black Paladin. He is no longer the commander of Team Voltron. He is a soldier without a purpose and a leader without a legion at his back.

Lance is a seventh wheel. He is not fit to be a leader, and perhaps not even fit to be a Paladin.

Or, in which two Paladins of Voltron learn their true worth, and finally, there is well-earned rest.

Beautiful Minds by PotatoBender

Lance used to be proud of his mental abilities. A pilot. A Paladin. Someone experienced with delving and controlling his mind. But after being captured, and enduring just a single encounter with Haggar, his castle was reduced to rubble.

Rescuing Lance was the easy part - healing him is much, much harder.

Blast Zone by bubblebucky

In the middle of a mission, a bomb going off leaves Lance unable to hear. Still, while he’s deaf, the rest of his team are the ones that won’t listen.

Boom Crash the Sound of My Ship by @maychorian​

After a Galra attack splits Voltron, the blue lion is damaged and falls toward the jungle planet below. Shiro follows, and now he and Lance are stranded in hostile territory, fighting to survive. Lance is injured, Shiro is having flashbacks, and help is far away. And the Galra just…keep coming.

Brain storm by @trickstersgambit

Lance managed for years without too many obvious issues. Those who needed to know, knew. Until it became a problem he thought he buried in his awkward early teen years.

calling me to come back by @apvrrish

Keith is a witch who owns a shop where he breaks curses on both magical items and people under spells. Love spells, family curses passed down generations, cursed heirlooms lurking the attic – he can handle them all. But one day a boy named Lance walks into his shop, and his curse is darker and more difficult to break than anything Keith has ever seen before: the curse is draining his magic, and without his magic, Lance will die. 

This is a new favorite of mine!

Dark Blue by @thunder-dor

Lance has a bad habit of comparing himself to his teammates. Lotor needs a Paladin with a weakness.

Or

Lance gets kidnapped and Keith will do anything to get him back.

This is a great fic and Jessie is a writing goddess!!!

Fighting the Surface by @tomminowrites

“Humans have shown quite the impressive drive for survival,” the Galra commander grins. “I want to see you fight against that. The druids claim drowning is quite the painful way to go.“ He tips Lance backward over the water, as Keith and Shiro struggle against their bonds. “If you surface, they die.”

Lance’s eyes widen and he’s pushed backward with a splash.

______

Keith, Shiro, and Lance are taken captive during a mission planet-side. The commander decides he only needs two paladins for interrogation, and decides to have a little fun while they wait for extraction. Lance is thrown into the deep with the threat that if he swims up for air, one of the other two will be shot. Obviously Lance would rather die than allow that.

Later chapters will, of course, deal with Keith and Shiro losing their damn minds thinking Lance just drowned himself for them.

I helped beta this one! It’s good!

Ghost of the Future & Shadow of the Past by @zizzani & @wittyy-name

When Lance is thrown through time, his future self from one year ahead is transported to the past in his place.

This Lance is faster, stronger, and markedly more mature. Not only that, but he’s distinctly more intuitive about his teammates and A LOT more touchy with Keith.

The team must try and work out how to reverse the two Lance’s places and restore them to their original timelines. Things only get more complicated when the Future Lance can’t seem to remember where he was when the switch happened, and he refuses to reveal anything about his own time for fear of influencing the team’s decisions.

Mirror fic to “Shadow of the Past” by wittyy_name

&

When Lance is thrown through time, he finds himself one year in the future, in place of the Lance that should be here.

He finds his team to be remarkably familiar, yet distinctly different. They have more scars, a better grip on the whole saving the universe thing, and over a year’s worth of teamwork to bind them together. But the weirdest part? Keith seems to be a lot more touchy with him. Not that he’s complaining… much.

The team must try and work out how to reverse the two Lance’s places and restore them to their original timelines. But despite the fact that they’re still his friends, Lance can’t help but feel a little out of place among a team that’s been through so much with a Lance that just isn’t him. And it doesn’t help that the team is on edge around him, refusing to tell him anything for fear of influencing and changing the past. Things get even more complicated when they have to rely on the team in the past to complete the switch, leaving Lance to little more than sit, wait, and attempt to fill in his future self’s shoes.___________

Mirror fic to “Ghost of the Future” by Zizzani

give out to give in by @mlp-michaeljones

So typical. So fucking typical, that Lance is the youngest and worst of his siblings, and then the kids come along and he isn’t even the cutest anymore, and he only made fighter pilot because perfect fucking Keith dropped out and even when he piloted a lion he didn’t have a thing like the others, and now he can’t even have Blue. Maybe he was the one to suggest it, but he was barrelling towards this point all along; rock fucking bottom.

When it becomes clear that Allura is a better pilot than him, Lance steps down as the Blue Paladin. It is, after all, the obvious decision. Lance is, and has always been, the afterthought.

But who needs an afterthought?

He Don’t Fuckin Care by ya_ya_rose

Lance knows how to hold his own. But he isn’t indestructible. 

Huddling for Warmth: The Movie by @maychorian

The paladins are heading back to the Castle of Lions after another successful mission when Shiro suddenly realizes that something is wrong. Lance isn’t responding on the comms.

Love and Other Questions by @squirenonny

One week after news of the Kerberos disaster broke, Pidge receives a new Mark–proof that Matt is still alive. She breaks into the Garrison to find him, only to find herself caught up in the fight for the fate of the universe.

Keith keeps his arms covered so he doesn’t have to watch Shiro’s scars compounding on his skin–but doing so means cutting off contact with his romantic soulmate, who greets him each morning with a new (and terrible) pickup line.

Shiro and Matt thought they were the luckiest people alive when they found out they were going to Kerberos together. But Shiro hasn’t seen Matt’s untidy scrawl on his arm in almost a year, and he has no idea if his soulmate is even still alive.

[Canonverse Soulmate AU with romantic and platonic soulmates (and some gray areas in between)]

Perihelion by @eclecticinkling

After growing up in the shadow of war, Prince Lance of Altea would give almost anything to bring peace back to his people. So when a Galran ambassador arrives with an offer to make that a reality, Lance knows he can’t refuse. Even if it means binding himself to his enemy’s prince for as long as they both shall live.

say you’re gonna break my fall by @apvrrish

Keith tries to deal with being the leader, and also tries to deal with his feelings about Lance. It’s a process.

Keith looks up and sees Lance staring at him, head tilted at an angle. His eyes are just barely visible through the visor, but his mouth is twisted into a puzzled curve.

“Sorry,” Keith says, flushing. “Lost in thought.”

“You okay?” Lance asks, falling into step alongside him as they follow the others out of the ship.

so much more than space dust by @ad-asterism

When a cryopod malfunctions, Lance is left with amnesia. As he struggles to figure out where he fits in the new formation of the team, the rest of Voltron is racing against the clock to figure out where Lotor will strike next- and their only clue is hidden somewhere in Lance’s lost memories. Lance will have to find a way to remember what he’s missing- or come to terms with what he’s forgotten.

Taking One For The Team by YukiSetsu

A mission gone wrong lands Lance and Pidge in a dangerous situation. When communication with the rest of the team is compromised, they have to take drastic measures to escape. Pidge can only hope that they get out before things get worse and one of them breaks. Especially Lance.

The Reluctant Soldier by @banditywrites

Lance is badly injured on a mission and struggles with his role as sharpshooter.

Thirty-One Days by SidneyJean

Lance experiences loss, in all its ugly faces, for the first time after beginning his journey as a Paladin and discovers just how that changes a person over time. It…doesn’t happen the way he expected. The people around him begin to change, and so does he.

Trembling Lips by @newtsckamander

Lance is an emotional person who cries easily (and does the trembly-lip thing a lot) but tries to stay strong in front of the team.

OR

Five times Lance stopped himself from crying in front of his teammates, and the one time he couldn’t hold it back.

Universal Fates by @celty-me

Alfor, Zarkon, Trigel, Gyrgan, and Blaytz set off on missions across the galaxy to gather pieces of an artifact so Alfor can complete Voltron.

Zarkon encounters a human boy with a missing arm fighting as a gladiator.Trigel encounters an enslaved young human girl whose genius is being exploited.Gyrgan encounters a human boy who disabled a pirate ship he and his people had been chasing.King Alfor encounters a young half-galra boy who aids the king and Coran when they are cornered by bandits.Blaytz encounters an Altean boy enslaved on a slave trading planet.

Each ally feels compelled to rescue and adopt the orphans they encounter, setting the wheels of fate into motion.

While each child carries the scars of their past, they form bonds too strong to ever be broken. They will find friendship and family with each other, and maybe love, even as events threaten everything they know and care for.

wanna be known by you by @bluewriters​

Sometimes Lance feels like he’s been stained blue, the colour of his lion seeping through his skin as he chokes on cold stardust, and he is drowning in waves of blue, blue ocean. Lance has never been afraid of the ocean before.

He rolls over and turns off the lights. He doesn’t sleep.

Watching You Fall by @emerald-ashes

Shiro couldn’t find Lance. He knew he was in danger after his communications ended abruptly. But he certainly wasn’t prepared to find Lance dying on the floor of a Galra base during one their missions.

Words Fail by EagleInFlight

A mind-melding exercise goes wrong, and the five Paladins are now trapped in Lance’s mind. To escape, they must delve through Lance’s memories. Lance learns that in order to save his friends, he has to stop running. But to stop running means to face the worst of himself.

[brothers-all]

Stray

For @finish-the-clone-wars​ Writing Wednesday prompt, an Unlikely Team. This just for fun, but happens before some of the cannon Clone Wars episodes. You’ll see what I mean.

“Careful. Careful! He’s still breathin’!”

“Barely! We ought to just slice ‘im now!”

“He’s a fine specimen. And republic. We might get something for ‘im.”

“For him? You’re pullin’ me leg!”

“Move it boys, move it!”

His head was already in pain and growing, but the yells near his head weren’t helping. And the fact he was being pulled, set down, tied and then moved again, didn’t do much either. He couldn’t see, but managed to catch the tight breathing in his ears. At least he had his helmet, for all the good it’ll do him.

He focused on what he could around him, trying to get a sense of his location. The humming of speeder bikes was all around him, and every now and then, they’d make a turn and he’d feel the momentum. Other than that, he wasn’t really sure where he was going, who was taking him there and where he even was.

They slowly pulled into a stop and he heard the speeders die down, before someone unmounted whatever they laid him on. They carried him with… not so much grace, but at least he was tied on it and didn’t have to fear falling down. There was a shift in space – everything was more cool and closer than before. Must have entered a structure of some kind…

“Oi, boss!” the one near his head yelled and he almost growled. His head felt like it might explode any second now. “We found somethin’!”

“Someone too!” that one was by his feet as they set him down, untied him, and footsteps signaled someone walking closer.

“Boys, what did I tell you about brining bodies back here?” the new person sounded like a scolding father, but there was power to his tone.

“He ain’t dead boss. He’s breathing,” it was in that moment that his bucket was removed and he was able to open his eyes and see properly. His face scrounged as the light stabbed his eyes, and a low growl escaped him, but still, he managed. His hands and legs were tied, but he was sitting, and the helmet now lay on the side.

In front of him was a Weequay, red trench coat, pants and a shirt, with a weird hat and goggles. He also had a Kowakian monkey-lizard on his shoulders. The others around him were also Weequays, but far less ornamented and dressed. Great. Pirates.

“Well, well, well… What have we here,” the one in front of him almost laughed, leaning in closer. “Never thought I’d see a loncem fella like you around here.”

“Found ‘im in a wreckage. Seems like ‘is ship got busted.”

“Hmm… What’s your name?” the apparent leader asked, sitting on his heels.

“…” he didn’t speak, only glared and his lip curled into a frown.

“Aw, come now! I’m trying to be hospitable here!” the leader threw his hands in the air before letting out a sigh. “Alright, fine. I’ll start. I am Hondo Ohnaka.”

“Wolffe,” came the gruff and simple answer, since he figured giving them a name couldn’t be that bad. He avoided adding his rank, because they didn’t need to know that.

“Like, one of ‘em wild animals? Wolf?” one of the lackeys by his side asked, watching him with wide eyes.

“Double F and an E genius,” he rolled his eyes as the Weequays laughed. Idiots.

“That’s a weird way to name you…” the same one asked and he sighed.

“Apparently you’ve never met a clone before,” Wolffe said and the pirates stiffened.

“Not a live one,” Hondo’s tone took on an almost threatening one.

“What’re we gonna do with ‘im boss?”

“Well, we should probably kill him,” Ohnaka said and Wolffe felt his body tense. “But… I know that skirt,” the pirate added, nudging the kama with his foot. “We got ourselves a high-ranking officer. Might be worth something.”

“You son of a-!” before he got to finish, Hondo shushed him and the lackeys behind him tied a cloth over his mouth.

“Now, now, that’s no way to talk. Didn’t your mother teach you better!” the pirate shook a finger, before pausing and realizing something. “I haha… guess you never had one. Sorry.”

Wolffe only glared and struggled against the restraints as they pulled him to his feet and marched him off to one of the cells.

As he sat there, leaning on a wall, he heard someone coming and snapped his head into that direction. It was Ohnaka, and he was carrying a plate of food. What, did he plan on bribing him or something? After a day or two of nothing, this is quite the change.

“Good morning friend!” the pirate called cheerfully, setting the plate down and sliding it in through a small opening.

“We’re not friends and the morning isn’t good,” Wolffe said simply, eyeing the plate. He had to admit, it at least smelled better than the ration bars.

“My, my, you’re a grumpy one aren’t you…” Hondo muttered, almost pouting. “I’m trying to be friends here!” he said more loudly, pointing at himself.

“Let me out of here and we might be,” the soldier grinned, looking around the cell.

“Hmm… How about this: You contact your superior officer, and we bargain for your life?” the thought sent a chill through the Commander’s body. General Koon would likely agree to such a deal. But he can’t let it happen. He’d never endanger the General’s life like that.

“No? What, you don’t think they’d bargain?” Ohnaka, tilted his head, almost in a sad manner. “That’s… very sad.”

“We’re clones, we’re expendable…” the words left his mouth before he even realized what he said and snapped his mouth shut later.

“…A very hard life to live I imagine…”

“What do you want?” Wolffe didn’t like where this was going and just asked.

“Well, money for instance. But since you apparently aren’t worth much…” he trailed off rubbing his chin. “I think we could still sell you as a slave.”

Instantly, the soldier was on his feet and rammed into the cage, actually forcing the pirate a few steps back. His glare and growl said more than words ever could and saw the fear flash before the Weequay’s eyes.

“I take you don’t like that idea very much…” there was a small silence before a yell of ‘Boss!’ made the pirate excuse himself and leave. Wolffe just glared at his back, gripping the railings of the cell and let out a defeated sigh.

“Fuck!” he hissed, running a hand through his hair. This wasn’t going to end well, one way or another.

“Boss, we got visitors,” Parsel said as he walked closer. “And they don’ look too happy.”

“They never are…” Ohnaka said and readied himself as the ship landed. And instantly, he knew this was going to be… interesting. A Republic ship.

“Friends, welcome, welcome!” he called as the ramp lowered and he saw four figures walk down. Three were clones and the fourth was a Kel Dor. Oh boy…

“Greetings,” the Kel Dor said back, the three soldiers by his side ready for trouble.

“What can I do for you?” Hondo asked cheerfully, giving his best smile.

“We were wondering if you’ve by chance, seen one of my men? He crashed not far from this establishment,” the Kel Dor swiped across his robe in such a way, he revealed a bit of a lightsaber. Wonderful. A Jedi…

“Can’t say I have. So sorry,” Ohnaka put his hands together and gave a small bow of his head.

“You lying scum-!” one of soldier stepped forward, but the Jedi stopped him.

“Calm yourself Boost. Violence will not solve anything here,” the Kel Dor spoke calmly, but his eyes narrowed slightly. “Yet.”

The gathered pirates all trembled slightly, but the farthest away slowly reached for their weapons.

“I would ask again – have you seen one of my men?” there was an edge to the Jeid’s tone now and his hand was too close to his lightsaber for comfort.

“Hahah, I uh, may have, come across… someone. A while ago. My memory isn’t what it used to be…” Hondo laughed nervously. “Parsel, won’t you check if we have a… clone? Hmm?” he turned to the other pirate who shakily nodded.

“Thank you,” the Jedi seemed to relax, but his men were still on edge.

“BOSS!” came a yell from the top of the watch tower. “We got raiders incoming!”

“Raiders?” the second soldier asked, looking around.

“Uncharted worlds Comet. Get ready,” the last one muttered and readied his blaster.

“Oh, you’re… going to fight?” Ohnaka asked in utter disbelieve.

“Until you locate Commander Wolffe, yes,” the Kel Dor parted his cloak and took out the lightsaber, activating it.

“Oi, Mr. McGrumpy?” he heard one of the pirates running towards his cell and twisted his neck to get a good look. “Time to move!”

“What?” Wolffe barely had time to asked before his cell was opened and the pirate nodded at him.

“Some friends of yours are here. Lucky you I guess…” the soldier grabbed his bucket before walking out, and saw the republic ship parked at the front. He almost laughed.

“Hold it right there!” a new voice hissed as the two turned and saw a gang of Humans blocking their path. “You ain’t goin’ nowhere!”

“Oh boy,” the pirate panicked, arms in the air.

“You too pretty boy,” a female nudged the soldier in the side with her blaster and he only growled. As she tried to poke him again, he grabbed the rifle, slammed the butt of it into her chest and staggered her. The rest tried to fire, but Wolffe grabbed he pirate, shoved him to the ground and rolled forward, firing off shots.

“Get ‘im!” someone called and the Commander saw one aiming at his back, but the raider got a metal plate to the face.

“Thanks,” Wolffe nodded to the Weequay, who nodded back.

“More incomin’!” the pirate called and the soldier aimed again. From behind, he heard some grunts and metal hitting flesh and shook his head. How’d it come to this, that he’s fighting alongside pirates?

“There’s something going on inside!” Sinker called as he ducked under some cover.

“Haha, it’s probably Wolffe!” Boost laughed and threw a detonator.

“How can you tell?” Comet blasted one of the raiders who tried to throw his own bomb.

There was a low howl coming from the building now, as blaster fire could be heard. The soldiers laughed and Plo Koon smiled, knowing this was going to end well.

The fighting lasted a few more minutes before the raiders decided to pull back. Any who weren’t fast enough got left behind and were mostly captured by the pirates.

“Well, I’ll be!” Hondo laughed as he watched them flee and walked closer to the Republicans. “You sure know how to fight!”

“General?” the voice was tired but everyone turned to the entrance, where Wolffe stood, smiling and relived. On his shoulder was Parsel, a wound across his back.

“Parsel?” Ohnaka spoke up first as the soldier carefully set the pirate down.

“Alive, but hurt,” was all he said before feeling a hand on his shoulder.

“Are you hurt?” Plo asked, voice laced with concern.

“…No, not really sir,” he admitted. “If these guys hadn’t found me in the wreckage, I may have been…” he admitted, even if he didn’t really like it.

“Indeed,” the Jedi looked at the pirates, who were gathering and helping the wounded. Their leader was taking in some more information, before joining them.

“Well, it seems it all worked out in the end, wouldn’t you say?” Hondo rubbed his hands together, looking from the Commander to the General.

“It would seem it has. Thank you, for your hospitality. It would seem we are in your debt,” at Koon’s words, Wolffe looked in surprise. Why was he saying that now?

“Ah, you helped us plenty! How about we call it even, and be friends?” Ohnaka extending his hand, smiling.

“…Tch, you’re weird,” Wolffe sighed, shook his head but took hold of the hand none the less.

“The only way to live my friend! The weirder the better I say!”

“Perhaps we shall meet again, under… better circumstances,” the Jedi said, giving a bow of his head.

“I can only hope! You Jedi and clones are all good in my book!”

“Maybe next time we’ll shoot to maim and not kill pirates!” Wolffe called as they walked towards the ship, his brothers laughing.

“Ah, yes… one can only hope…” Hondo gave an awkward wave goodbye as the ramp closed.

“Are we just gonna let ‘em leave?”

“This time, yes. Besides, we can finally take out the raiders now – they really took a blow of these fellas.”

“…Did you know they’d come lookin’ for the clone?”

“It’s always good to assume! Now, come, we have some raiders to remove.”

“Commander, good to have you back,” the trio said as they all sat down.

“Good to be back,” Wolffe let out a tired breath and leaned his head against the cold steel wall.

“You made friends with pirates huh?” Sinker asked with a grin.

“It was more of a… team-up,” the Commander shrugged.

“An unlikely one at that,” Boost snickered at the usual grumpy look he got.

“I’d like to see you do better.”

“Don’t challenge him like that – you know he’s dumb enough to do it.”

“Hey! I am not dumb!”

“Yeah, you kinda are…”

Plo Koon simply smiled to himself as he watched his men bicker, arms on his lap. He still wondered what a strange coincidence it was for the raiders to attack as they arrived. But still, perhaps this Hondo Ohnaka may be someone who helps them in the future.

Cut! So yeah, ties in with how Hondo helped Plo with Boba that one time. Kinda. I don’t know. It’s crack for fun!

[adambstingus]

Cristiano Ronaldo film captures giant ego and strange, lonely world of being CR7

Ronaldos rivalry with Messi and extraordinary self-regard are to the fore in this vanity project but the suffering his success has brought his mother and the forwards sheer competitive drive also catch the eye

As a snapshot of what life must be like for Cristiano Ronaldo, there is one clip in the new film Ronaldo when his godson is being baptised and there is a small gathering around the font. The babys head has just been wet when the priest looks over to the tanned guy with the gelled hair and whips out a mobile phone. Any chance of a quick selfie? he wants to know.

Then there is the moment Portugals team are training at Estádio Moisés Lucarelli in São Paulo during the last World Cup and a sobbing girl breaks the cordon to run across the pitch in a desperate attempt to reach her hero. She is shaking, crying, close to hysteria and caught by one of the security guards. It is The Beatles at Shea Stadium all over again. Ronaldo hugs her and she looks as if she might pass out. He knows I exist, she wails, when a television reporter stops her a few moments later. What did he say? He asked me to stay calm and stop crying. And what did you say back? I asked him to follow me on Twitter.

It must be suffocating at times even if, for the most part, Ronaldo gives the impression that fame is his comfort blanket. The film is a remarkable vanity project and, even more than before, it is difficult not to come away with the feeling that Ronaldo must shout his own name during sex. He and his agent, Jorge Mendes, appear to have a relationship of mutual worship. Mendes, Ronaldo says, is the best, the Cristiano Ronaldo of agents and it is difficult to keep count of the number of times they get lost in each others eyes, reminding one another of their success and wealth and shiny brilliance.

Mendes sharp black suit, Rolex, phone almost permanently to his ear seems almost as hung up about Ronaldo winning the Ballon dOr as CR7 himself. It is a 24-7, twitching obsession, on both their parts, given far more relevance throughout the film than Real Madrids Décima or anything else, and it is a telling moment when Mendes and one of his associates can be heard muttering darkly from one of the Bernabéus executive boxes about the possibility the other guy might destroy everything.

That other guy is Lionel Messi, cast in a slightly villainous Ivan Drago-style role that he probably does not deserve. Its a card inside an envelope that can change so much, Ronaldo says of the Ballon dOr, describing what it is like being expected to fake a smile on behalf of his old adversary. To see Messi win four in a row was difficult for me. After he won the second and third I thought to myself: Im not coming here again. Watching this film, it becomes clear just how difficult it must be for Gareth Bale, signing for Madrid as the most expensive player in history, to deal with that planet-sized ego.

Other scenes are strategically laced with soft-focus Hello! magazine-style moments where Ronaldo can be seen playing with his son, Cristiano Jr, or dropping him off at school, but there is not always a great deal of charm elsewhere. Muhammad Ali and Brian Clough had great humour to go with all the braggadocio. Ronaldos style is not so attractive. Im not going to lie to you, he says, explaining why he went to the World Cup with an injury. If we had two or three Cristiano Ronaldos in the team I would feel more comfortable. But we dont.

A touch of humility every now and then would make Ronaldo much more appealing. Equally, he is as good as he is because of the way he is and a documentary of this nature, filmed over 14 months in his company, does show the enormous strains that come with the territory.

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Ronaldo: watch a trailer for the film.

At one point his mother, Dolores, is filmed inside a chemists handing in a prescription for sedatives because she can barely take the stress of watching him play. Ronaldo rings and asks if she has taken her tranquillisers yet, as if he is quite used to it. Its quite complicated to be the mother of a player who needs to win, Dolores explains. I suffer a lot. When he is playing in the World Cup she asks for her flip-flops and then walks up the hill rather than watch with the rest of the family.

It is this insight into the inner circle that reminds us it has not been straightforward for Ronaldo, and not just because of the fact he left his family in Madeira at the age of 12 to join Sporting Lisbon, with his first pimples on his forehead and braces on his teeth. Hugo, his older brother, now runs Museu CR7, the Ronaldo museum, in Funchal but, at 20, was spiralling into alcoholism. Hugo says it could have been him who played football. Instead, he worked in construction, and he says everyone drank in that game, particularly as he was used to seeing his father, Dinis, knocking it back every night.It isnt in the film but Dinis and Hugo resorted to selling Ronaldos Manchester United shirts so they could pay for more booze.

Dinis, we learn, was never the same after being called up to fight in the Portuguese colonial war in Angola. He came back very angry, Dolores explains. His head was filled with images of the war and though she says he always cared for his children she also says she became his victim. Dinis drank himself into an early grave, dying in 2005 when Ronaldo was 19. He was drunk nearly every day and when that happens it became hard to have a conversation, his younger son recalls. I didnt get to know my father for real.

As for Cristiano Jr, possibly the star of the film, Ronaldo explains that he always wanted my successor without going into any other details. His son is five, already doing sit-ups and still working on his pronunciation of Lamborghini, and Dolores takes care of him while Ronaldo is away. The mother? Its anyones guess. People speculate that it was with this girl or the other or a surrogate mother, Ronaldo says. Ive never told anybody and I never will. How a man in his position has managed to keep it secret is remarkable and, unorthodox as it might be, fair play to him.

Cristiano Ronaldo talks of his pain at seeing Lionel Messi win the Ballon dOr four times in a row: After he won the second and third I thought to myself: Im not coming here again. Photograph: Action Press/Rex

These parts are fascinating and, at times, Ronaldo comes across as so lonely it is a good job he enjoys his own company so much. In football I dont have a lot of friends. People I really trust? Not many. Most of the time Im alone. I consider myself an isolated person. It pains him that his father is not around to see his success but Mendes, he says, is like a father and a brother rolled into one. In Guillem Balagués new book about Ronaldo he writes how, to feed the competitive beast, the players entourage quickly came to realise they must keep criticism at a distance, or control it, create the narrative and keep him on his pedestal. Mendes is always there to fluff that ego and tell him he is better than Messi, and everybody else. It is far more than just the usual player-agent relationship.

Here, too, is the revelation that there was very nearly no Cristiano Ronaldo either. He was an unwanted child, Dolores explains. She considered an abortion and, on a neighbours advice, drank boiled black beer before running until she was on the verge of fainting, hoping to force a miscarriage. It didnt work and she seems pretty happy about that.

Thirty years on, the film released on Monday and put together by the people behind Senna does at least help us understand Ronaldo some more and the incredible drive that is needed to reach the top of his profession. It is not Ronaldos talent that stands out the most. It is his competitive courage, his absolute refusal to believe anyone can possibly outdo him and a level of self-obsession that makes one wonder how he will cope now he is approaching the age two years older than Messi when the powers gradually start to decline.

In recent years, he says, he and Messi have started talking to one another in a way they never did previously, asking about each others families and other polite small-talk. Ive started seeing him as a person, not a rival, he says. But we are always busting our balls to see who is better.

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/cristiano-ronaldo-film-captures-giant-ego-and-strange-lonely-world-of-being-cr7/ from All of Beer https://allofbeercom.tumblr.com/post/181635934402