#im sorry for what i will become once this movie hits netflix or disney

[turnipoddity]

it’s the scrimblos again

[dr-gloom]

Recover

Part 7!!!

Part 1  Part 2  Part 3  Part 4  Part 5  Part 6  Part 8  Part 9

Fandom: Sanders’ Sides

Pairings: Past Reman (Roman/Remy), Past Anxceit

Summary:  Virgil goes over to Roman's to watch some movies. He's been feeling great lately, and wants to just have a relaxing day with his friend away from the apartment. Nothing bad could possibly happen, right?

Tags/Warnings: mentioned rape, Alcohol Abuse, Mentions of Emotional Abuse, Mentions of psychological abuse, PTSD, Panic Attack, description of rape 

Read it on AO3

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Virgil glances down at his phone as it buzzes with an incoming text. He grins when he sees Roman’s name and unlocks the phone, reading the text.

Wanna come over and watch movies, JD-Lightful? :D

Virgil rolls his eyes and texts back.

sure dude, as long as you dont pick any more dumb musicals this time

D:< NEWSIES IS A CLASSIC

actually pretty sure to be a classic it has to be old

and good

HOW DARE just get your emo butt over here, i miss you </3

Virgil laughs, typing out his reply and sending it before rolling out of bed to get ready.

relax romeo

im getting ready, be there in 20

Virgil’s phone buzzes again, but he ignores it in favor of pulling his torn black jeans over his hips and tying the laces of his black boots. It’s probably just Roman letting him know he read the text, anyways. He throws his hoodie on and pockets his phone and wallet, exiting his room.

He walks through the apartment, spotting Patton and Logan on the couch and waving to them. “Heading over to Roman’s, I’ll be back later.”

Patton turns to look at him, smiling. “Okay kiddo! You gonna be home in time for dinner?”

Virgil shrugs. “I dunno. I’ll text you if not, ‘kay?”

Patton nods and goes back to watching the movie. Logan waves goodbye to him before watching the movie as well, and the front door shuts.

Virgil trots down the stairs, turning on the sidewalk to head towards Roman’s place. He actually doesn’t live that far from the park that Virgil likes to visit, so he won’t be walking for long. As he passes the park, he looks around at the various families and health-nuts dotting the playground and trails. He smiles lightly. It’s been such a good few months, despite some minor hiccups, and this is probably the best he’s felt since he left Dee. He still gets nightmares, and he still has panic attacks, but thanks to the support he has they’re becoming more of a rarity.

He passes the park and keeps walking until he makes it to an apartment complex that’s admittedly more high-end than the one he and Patton live in. He checks his phone to make sure he remembers the apartment number and climbs the steps once he finds the right building, knocking hesitantly. The door bursts open almost instantly to show an excited Roman in a white shirt and red flannel pajama bottoms. Virgil laughs.

“Dude, it’s like, almost noon.”

Roman steps aside to let him in, grinning. “So? This is my apartment, I do what I want.”

Virgil rolls his eyes. “Sure, okay.” He plops down on the couch and grins at Roman as he sits down next to him. “So what’re we watchin’?” Roman shrugs and grabs his remote, switching the TV to Netflix. “What do you feel like watching?”

Virgil groans and flops onto his side, his head in Roman’s lap. Roman runs his fingers through Virgil’s purple locks. “Why would you ask that? Now we’ll never pick a movie. We’re stuck in the ‘I don’t know, what do you wanna watch’ loop. You know I hate loops.”

Roman laughs. “Fine, how about The Little Mermaid?”

Virgil nods. “Sounds good.”

Roman puts the movie on and sets the remote aside, still running his fingers through Virgil’s hair as the movie starts. Virgil doesn’t bother telling him to stop or sitting up; he likes this, and he doesn’t get enough physical contact, in his humble opinion. He always feels awkward asking Patton for hugs, and he’s seemed kind of busy anyways. The two men watch the movie in relative silence, if you don’t include Roman singing along quietly. It’s nice to just spend time relaxing like this, not worrying, not stressing, no intrusive thoughts of the past or anxieties.

After the movie’s over, Roman gets up to make them some popcorn. He comes back to find that Virgil is still laying down, effectively in Roman’s spot, and rests the popcorn bowl on Virgil’s pelvis in retaliation. Virgil huffs and sits up, holding the bowl, and goes right back to laying in Roman’s lap once he’s seated. Roman puts on Pocahontas, relaxing back into his couch and grabbing a handful of popcorn as it starts. “And for the record I’m not playing the second movie after this. It’s contrived romance-forcing garbage.”

Virgil looks up with a smirk and a raised eyebrow. “Wow, I never thought I’d ever hear you say something negative about Disney.”

Roman huffs. “The sequel is horrible! They could have left well enough alone, but they just had to continue it and have Pocahontas fall for another man. It’s PocaSmith erasure!”

“...Poca...Smith…?”

“Shut up, it’s their ship name.”

Virgil laughs. “Whatever you say.”

Virgil is so relaxed by the time Pocahontas is over that he doesn’t realize which movie Roman chose afterwards until the music starts. Oh no. Oh, shit.

Beauty and the Beast.

Virgil took a deep breath. It was okay. It was fine. He just…. Had to keep calm. Yeah. He couldn’t tell Roman to change the movie; he’d ask why, and Virgil would have to tell him the truth because he’s such a bad liar, and then Roman would pity him, or be disgusted by him, or hate him for ruining Disney, or-.

Okay, no, that is not how you stay calm, Virgil. Deep breaths.

Roman lightly scratches at Virgil’s scalp. He can’t tell what’s going on in Virgil’s head, but he can sense how tense Virgil is and knows Virgil might need something grounding to focus on. Virgil would thank him if being grounded didn’t mean having to focus on the movie.

Belle walked down the path from her house into the village, singing the beginning song. His breathing picked up just slightly with the pacing of the song. He can do this. Concentrate. Breathe. Gaston is introduced, and Virgil feels like he’s going to be sick. He can feel the ghost of lips on his shoulder and neck. He rubs them roughly to chase off the feeling.

“Virgil? Are you okay?”

Virgil nods, forcing his voice past his lips. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

Roman doesn’t look like he believes him, but he drops it.

Philip and Belle’s father enter the woods, and Virgil’s breathing starts to pick up again. He feels like he’s back on that couch with Dee, sitting quietly as the other bites and sucks marks into his neck. He sits up, the feeling of Roman’s leg against his cheek making him nauseous.

“Virgil?”

Virgil shakes his head. Belle starts singing. He can’t breathe. Roman says something, but he doesn’t hear it. All he can hear is Dee questioning him. “Are you saying you don’t love me, Virgil? That you don’t think I’m attractive?” Virgil whimpers and curls in on himself, clamping his hands over his ears and tucking his head between his knees.

“Virgil!”

Virgil lets out a choked-off scream, the sound absolutely pitiful and completely heartbreaking. The ghost of Dee’s hands on him, in him, is suffocating him, stealing his breath and making his thoughts spiral. Hands on him make him scream and he scrambles off the couch, his head smacking into the coffee table in his struggle. He distantly hears his name being called, but all he’s focused on is getting away, getting somewhere safe, getting away from Dee. His back presses into a corner and he curls in on himself again.

The noise from the TV stops, and soft footsteps shuffle closer. Virgil grips and pulls at his hair, scratches his neck and shoulders and arms, trying to chase off the ghost of Dee’s touch. Someone - Roman, Virgil’s foggy mind supplies - takes his hands to keep him from doing any more damage to himself.

“Virgil, you need to breathe. Come on, in for four, hold for seven, out for eight.” He leads Virgil through the exercise a few times until he’s breathing normally, though he’s still curled up in the corner. Roman frowns in concern, running his thumbs over Virgil’s knuckles. “Wanna talk about it?” Virgil has a far-off look in his eyes, but he blinks a few times and it goes away. He nods, glancing down at his lap.

“I uh… I don’t like Beauty and the Beast.”

Roman raises an eyebrow slightly. “Well I kind of got that… but why?”

Virgil’s face pinches, and Roman squeezes his hands reassuringly. Virgil takes a deep breath and starts explaining.

He explains how, a couple months before they met, he’d been watching Beauty and the Beast with Dee. He tells Roman that he’d tried his hardest to be good, and Dee rewarded him by putting on his favorite movie. His voice starts to waver as he describes how Dee used the movie to distract Virgil, pushing his boundaries until Virgil had to say something. He closes his eyes and tells Roman how Dee had questioned his love and pressured him into sex, how he hadn’t wanted it but he’d been terrified that Dee would beat him, or leave him. He cries as he tells Roman how Dee had gone in dry, how much it hurt, how Dee had ruined Be Our Guest and walked away when he was done.

Roman holds his arms open in a question, and Virgil hugs his friend tightly. Roman runs a hand through Virgil’s hair as he calms himself down again. “I’m so sorry that happened to you, Virge…. Why didn’t you say something sooner? I would have changed the movie.”

Virgil whines. “I didn’t want you to…. Be disgusted, or… or think less of me.” Roman’s frown deepens and he sighs, sitting back on the heels of his hands.

“I told you about Remy, right?”

Virgil nods. “Yeah, a little. You told me he was… kind of like Dee.”

Roman nods.

“I met Remy back in my freshman year of college. He was loud, sassy, impulsive, had a horrible sense of direction, and was easily the most flamboyant person I’ve ever met. We hit it off instantly at a college frat party and our romance, as they say, was hot and heavy. We had more… physical chemistry than emotional, I think. Before I knew what was happening he was pressuring me into skipping classes to have sex, getting me drunk so I wouldn’t ‘harsh his mood’ and leave, dragging me to parties when I should have been studying or doing homework. I failed all my classes that semester, and had to retake everything. I was so mad at him, but I didn’t break it off.”

Virgil’s eyebrows were furrowed, looking angry and confused. “Why?”

Roman shakes his head, shrugging. “I’m not completely sure. I think, at the time, I told myself we could do better, that we could talk through our problems. I thought I loved him.

“As expected, things only got worse. I dropped out my third year because I was still struggling through classes. I tried to talk to Remy about all the partying, about being more responsible, getting a job since I wasn’t in college anymore. He didn’t really like that. He said if I got a job he’d never see me.”

Virgil flinches slightly at the familiar words.

“He started saying things that would make me doubt myself. I questioned every decision I made, from the outfits I wore to the food I cooked - Remy would always comment that I was getting fat. I started hating myself, hating how I looked, how I acted. I needed Remy to validate me, like I needed air. And when he would get mad at me and say something that didn’t even sound like an insult but it just had this tone and you knew you did something - I never hated myself more.”

Virgil chews on his lip, looking down at his hands. “So then…. How’d you leave him? I know that’s- I know it can be hard…”

Roman nods. “Actually, I was pretty lucky. He broke up with me.”

Virgil looks up, surprised. “Seriously?”

Roman nods again. “He said he was tired of how clingy I’d become. Found someone who was more self-assured, whatever he meant by that. I’m not sure. But! That was the end. It took… a while, but I recovered. And you’ll recover, too. I promise.”

Virgil smiles weakly. “Thanks, Ro.”

Roman stands, offering his hand to Virgil. “Of course. What do you want to watch?”

Virgil thinks as they walk back over to the couch and sit, Virgil leaning into Roman’s side a bit. “Moana?”

Roman smiles, wrapping an arm around Virgil. “Perfect.”

A/N: if I missed any tags/warnings, please message me!

love you kiddos, stay safe! <3

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