#im sorry i just hate the notion joel was purely motivated for himself

[aeirithgainsborough]

imagine if part 2 had been about ellie learning her life DOES matter, regardless of her immunity, and that’s why joel saved her and then lied to her about it. yes, there was selfishness in it, but there was also selflessness in it. it’s so rare to get one without the other. he cared for her he loved her of course he didn’t want her to die! but think about the things he says to her, after the giraffe scene, that she doesn’t have to do this and how she reveals the burden on her shoulders - that it all has to matter. that’s so much for a kid and it should never have been on her.

think about when he tells her you have to find something to survive for at the end, when she’s grappling with survivors guilt when it was never on her that people died and it certainly wasn’t on her to save the world. think about when he tells her that if he had a second chance at that moment, he’d do it all over again. like really think about it. that moment led to their estrangement. it led to her telling him they were done. he has to see her from afar living her life. but that’s the point. she lives a life. she grows up safe. she has friends. she’s happy. and despite the pain of losing another daughter, he’d do it all again, the heartache and the pain, because she got to live a life. the lie was for them both. he wanted to keep her in his life but he also wanted to lift the weight of the world off her shoulders, the burden she felt that at 14 years old she had to save the world or her life wouldn’t matter.

but her life always mattered. this special, funny, loving, determined, fighter of a girl always mattered just for her. ellie’s life was worth something and not just because she’s immune. joel saw that in their year of travelling together. and he made a choice and told a lie because he saw that. because she deserved to live. i just wish we’d got her realising it too in part 2, instead of what we did get. she deserved better. she deserved that rather than ending up alone and still feeling like her life lacked any meaning because she didn’t die to save the world.