#im sorry this might sound weird

[michaeliad]

You can find so many Adam parallels in SPN. His last name is not Winchester, although technically he is one; while Winchester brothers’ motto is “family doesn’t end in blood”, Adam is the embodiment of “family doesn’t start in blood”. Michael’s pure unconditional romantic and platonic love for him is opposite to Nick’s sick murderous obsession with Lucifer (both being the two sides of the same coin). Adam has a forgiving and kind personality, he believes in being able to save the world even after he and his mother were brutally killed; his father sought revenge for Mary’s murder, destroying the only family he got left in the process. There are so many things that can be compared to Adam’s story arc. Michael’s grief after losing Adam / Dean practically forgetting about Castiel after 15x18? Adam (the son who hates the father) replacing Dean (the son who loves the father) in the Cage? Sam saying him and Eileen came to an agreement / Adam saying the same thing about him and Michael literal minutes after that? Adam had so much importance in the series, and all that being basically unnoticed by the fandom is just unfair.

[nicepersondisorder]

hello chat im insane. if you care. (trying to figure out how to draw the characters <3)

+ bonus husker

[solar-halos]

my entire life i’ve hated how weird my name is and have lamented over how i couldn’t believe my parents would do that to me but lately ive been thinking about baby names and i think lydia is literally the prettiest name ever

[snekdood]

bitches be like. i hate vegans so much that i’ve decided i like killing animals and its fine and i dont feel bad and animals dont have feelings and its fine and im cool subversive and different and edgy and like to post fucked up stuff to make vegans uncomfortable bc im just so cool

[rockn-rule]

Ok y'all imma need to talk about this god forsaken night light from night in the woods

Because why is no one talking about the blue canary in the outlet that's oddly very reminiscent of the 1990s they might be giants song 'birdhouse in your soul' ?? Because the meaning of that song is to build a place in your soul for what makes you feel most secure and I think that Mae has it around for that reason.

Also not to spoil night in the woods, but the way Mae explained her mental illness was amazingly well done and makes Mae the best rep I've seen imo

And before I forger look at this lil bird light I found omg

It's pretty identical to the one in night in the woods and I love it

[jinstronaut]

this is also why i stopped using my tracked tag for a while tbh

[piplupod]

it just seems cruel and sick to me that I tell someone "i think this little life has inherent value and I'd like to extend a little kindness to it when I am able to" and they laugh at me as if I'm being foolish and tell me I must squash it with my shoe :/

[absolutelyzoned]

its me and my inability to compromise against the world

[fenharel-archived]

saskia i am on my hands and knees begging for some ysabel info! what’s her backstory? what’s she like during the game? she’s so 🥰💖

[PERSONALITY]

Ysabel is a noble, Lolth Sworn Drow, living in Menzoberrazan and is a School of Divination Wizard

Shes an chaotic neutral ENTP, Gemini, 125 years old and 1.60m tall

Ysabel is creative and intelligent, mischievous and cunning. Some perceive her as quirky, eccentric - funny, confident with a giant ego, but also power hungry and selfish, sometimes cruel. She has always been full of ideas, always thinking of new and better ways to do things. She’s always been curious, more often than not you find her with her nose stuck in a book. Her childhood bedroom was exploding with books about fungi or tomes like “The past and present: a Scholars Guide to Divination”. 

She’s also rather extroverted and a social chameleon, excellent at manipulation and persuasion, something her mother often took advantage of, as she would often use her children like chess pieces in her political affairs.

[BACKSTORY]

The noble house of Do’Rahel is one of the 8 powerful houses in Menzoberranzan

Ysi has two older sisters (Yris, Yvory) and one younger brother (Ysmael, my warlock charlatan & very first D&D oc 😘)

Their mother (Yaelryn Do’Rahel) is a matron mother, a priestess of Lolth and a powerful and influential figure in Menzoberrazan’s affairs

As most intelligent people are prone to, Ysabel was more questioning of things like societal norms or rules and ideas than what was socially acceptable in the Cult of Lolth, something her mother often reminded her of through whipping. But her mother was also more progressive than some would believe - when her daughter showed more interest in the arcane than continuing her training as a cleric she encouraged it. She thought that having one of her daughters in the circle of the Sorcere was something that could be beneficial to her.

After a particularly nasty ambush on Ysabel (your regular weekend in the Underdark really) her mother assigned one of their warriors as her personal guard - a tiefling slave called Lucien (Side note but he’ll be romancing Shadowheart in a future playthrough 🤓)

Lucien was in his early twenties and enslaved for around 5 years at the time, he was passionate and charming, warm and strong. But he was also as cunning as he was kind. Ysabel liked him, and often would spend more time with him than was strictly necessary. He had Ysabel figured out quickly, and noticed that traits in her that might be weaknesses in her mothers eyes, could be his opportunity. That growing close to her could be his ticket to get free.

But things didn't necessarily work out for him at first as he would have thought - both of them fell in love.

He would tell her stories of his previous life, about his ideals and morals, about the world above. How children do not fear for their life where he is from, how parents love their children unconditionally, how he missed feeding the neighbors ducks before he would go to school. Ysi would laugh at him sometimes, call him weak and soft. But sometimes she would indulge in his stories. Catching herself thinking of them in bed before she go meditating. How strange it must be to live so truly carefree.

The influence Lucien had on her was undeniable. Small and meaningless at first maybe but there nonetheless. There were glimpses of true kindness in Ysabel only he got to see. Glimpses of love - real love, not just the craving for flesh or power he was accustomed to from other Drow. He saw that he had shaken her morals and beliefs, slightly perhaps, but shaken. So when she finally wanted to set him free out of her own volition, instead of running when his binding spell was broken he asked for her to come with him.

She helped him to stage his own death and broke his bonds and let him go, but she didn’t go with him. This would be a turning point in her life, something she regretted for the rest of her existence, something she kept thinking about for years on end.

For many years after, she buried herself in her tower. She never dared to think of why she said no, instead she sat in front of her mirror of memories, where she relived the time she had with Lucien. But in doing so, a part of herself, the past party in fact, was lost in it. Her present self was split in half. She was either overly good or overly evil, and she became known for being mad and for research and experiments that were even extreme by Drow standards. 

She was in this state for at least 60 years. She had short periods of time where she managed to stabilize herself through experiments, but it never worked for long. Nevertheless, she made a name for herself, she was an extremely powerful wizard, was considered one of the masters of Sorcere and had a place in their council. (Much to their dismay. Assassination attempts from her colleagues were a daily occurrence tbh.)

[GAME TIMELINE]

House Do’Rahel was infiltrated by Absolute cultists, leading to the almost death of her sisters Yris and Yvory, and the losing a handful of their staff members. Ysabel's mother also heard rumors of similar things happening in House Baenre and other houses all over the city. Sensing a bigger plot, instead of sending warbands like her colleagues, she only send Ysabel and a handful of warriors on a scouting mission. She was to gather as much information as possible. If she would see an opportunity beneficial to them - she should take it, and most importantly she was also to kill or capture any heretic or deserter of Lolth.

The trail they followed led them to the outskirts of Baldur’s Gate. She didn’t know it at the time but she was on her way to Moonrise Towers when she was abducted. When she woke up in the Nautiloid, the tadpole didn’t just strip her of her powers, but also stabilized her mind.

Being fully herself again after so long felt like having someone forcefully pushing a heart back into her. At the beginning of her journey she’s manipulative (she does a lot of the “heroic” options not because she thinks it’s the right thing to do, but because she thinks it’s a smarter way to uncover what is going on and/or because working with the Absolute would go against Lolth), she’s also selfish and a bit cruel, but a lot of things she does suddenly don’t feel the same to her anymore, and an top of that the problem with the tadpole - it forces her into introspection. 

At some point she realizes that her companions remind her of Lucien, and the time she had with him. Her development throughout the game mainly consists of her realizing that she rather wants love and friendship than pure ruthless power. She develops a consciousness, empathy. Something Lucien already built the groundwork of so many years ago. She realizes she was too much of a coward back then, that she couldn't let go of all that power and desert Lolth even though that's what she really wanted. Surrounded by her new friends, she doesn’t want to make the same mistake again. In her mind, she’ll never be truly good, much less a hero. But she doesn’t want to be what she used to be either. Seeing real friendship, love, experiencing it for herself, she realizes the only times she wasn't hollow was with Lucien - and now, with them. 

Her new friends act as mirrors to herself as well. She sees herself in Gale when he gets obsessed over the Crown, she sees herself in Astarion when he’s willing to kill all his former friends for power. And she sees herself in Lae’zel, Wyll & Shadowheart when it comes to the influence a God, Goddess or devil can have on you. They were all on the path she already walked on, and the guilt she is carrying with her over things she can’t change anymore is overwhelming, so she stops them all, helps them see what is truly important. 

About the reason she was in Baldur’s Gate in the first place, she isn’t honest with her companions at first, she has obviously her own agenda like everyone else in that camp. She was forced to explain herself by Wyll when she let True Soul Nere kill the Gnomes. Having a tadpole in her head made everything more personal of course, she starts going against the Absolute not in the name of Lolth or for her mother but for herself and her own beliefs in Act 2.

After the game, her mind is still hers. Going through so much change and admitting her biggest fears repaired herself, like a curse she casted and then lifted on herself. Also, she and Astarion guide the Vampire spawn in the Underdark for a while, and she also researches for ways to make Astarion walk in the sun again (and I like to headcanon that she succeeds :3)

If you want to take a peak, here is Ysabels pinterest 🥺, and since i mentioned Lucien, here is his'.

[strangebrew]

csn(y) is ultimately about the conflict between harmony (in the general sense) and the desire to be an individual. these men who already feel alienated from the world at large come together to be in community (eh thats not the right word but you get it), but still desire to assert themselves as individuals and i think that might be where the tension actually lies. because, and im being generous here, it is really hard to be together as a group, and be harmonious and functional as group, and at the same time try to further and assert your own identity and career as an individual (both within and without the group)

[bmpmp3]

the really beautiful landscape/skyscape animation in makoto shinkai's works tends to be the big thing i see focused on and that is understandable and deserved like the weather and lighting effects are unREAL but i do think we should also appreciate how absolute insane the plotlines of his original movies get. at least two movies with in universe catastrophes with major ecological implications. the guns and explosions. theres that one movie i havent seen yet with the guy who turns into a chair (?)

[girl-bateman]

it sounds so obvious now, but im pretty sure my physical problems rn can all be traced back to the fact that my brain and body has been in a constant hypervigilance and cortisol overload for 3 months straight. the dizziness, the blackouts, the acne, the constant nausea, the giant eyebags and sudden crows feet ?? Like yeah, no shit thats what happens when ur every waking hour is the equivalent of that camille preaker crying gif

[brosif40]

Me when I once again question how i really feel about romantic/sexual stuff

[lesbiangiratina]

If you say this around me i may attack you like a chimp it depends on the day

[lvminisciel]

Just popping in here to say, I love reading your tags miè, so don’t be sorry at all. It’s always so much fun 🥰💞🌺 thank you for taking your time to write them 💞💚✨🫶

i think i should be the ones THANKING YOU for always sharing ur stunning & gorgeous writings all the timeeee 😭😭💗💗✨✨ ngl i always go back to ur writings from time to time, they jst hv this heartwarming feeling in them.. like yk the taste of homemade cake tht u can tell the person who bakes it clearly put their hearts to it!! those kinda things!! idk how to explain it in words (prob jst my english that is lacking) but yeah ur writing rlly gave off tht feel.. something u can always return to no matter how far ur journey is, a safe place u can go back to whenever u feel strayed. those kind of feelings.

[gglitchshit]

I'm not sure how familiar you are with them, but Breathe Carolina has a song called "I Have to Go Return Some Video Tapes" that's inspired by American Psycho. I hope that fits the vibe you're looking for

YESSS exactly, thank you!!

haven't heard of them till now but will get myself to listen very soon! until then, i'm definitely adding to the spooky playlist~