#im sorry yall im just . worrying but im gonna shush now lol

[izzy-b-hands]

finally convinced myself to apply for the Folx fund help since otherwise im just. not making enough to cover regular doc visits and T rn.

(more venting abt this stuff below the cut feel free to skip)

And as of tonight im out of the vial my housemate generously offered since ae is changing up T methods rn anyway (tho i did try to get out any leftover T from previous syringes in my sharps box into the current vial, in an attempt to save any i could, but it didn't work as well as i wanted it to unfortunately)

I don't want to detransition. I'm genuinely terrified of it bc even just my period returning these last months has sent me spiraling each time. I'm the happiest I've ever been since transitioning (despite any additional Life Horrors occurring alongside it) and i just. I don't want to go back. but I'm not going to rely on my friends and family to bankroll this too while i try and get back on my feet

im nervous to have applied and tbh don't anticipate getting it simply bc goodness knows there's a fuck ton of us in need of help like this, and im just one of many. but holy fucking shit a year of paid for care would make a huge difference. one less expense to weigh on me for at least a little bit, enough time to hopefully get into a better more consistently paying job so i could just afford the usual Folx membership as I would like to rn if it wasn't $89/mo (and even switch back to gel to have a break from the injections for a bit, but that's an extra $50, so nearly $150 for that which rn is Ouch and just not possible to give out monthly which makes me feel so pathetic and shit but i just. Don't have it at a consistent rate rn with the polling center job fuckery and my anxiety with the job)

I don't want to be taking help from someone who needs it more, but if they can spare a spot for me i would be in their debt for the rest of my life and beyond grateful

[n3tworksucks]

How do you think quackity would react with reader with baby fever ? (Btw I love your work!)

YESS AND IM SO SORRY I HAVEN'T BEEN POSTING I JUST HAVEN'T BEEN MOTIVATED AND DIDNT WANNA POST ANYTHING I DIDNT LIKE

word count; 478

warnings; talk about children and idk

-aww yea idk how I feel about baby's lol

- like i think they're pretty annoying 💀 but sometimes they're cute

- and alex uhhh id think he's ok with babys

- like expressed his "hate" for babies once or twice but hes only slightly joking for stream or just to make you laugh or something

- but he doesn't hate them 

- he's just whatever with them

- yall have talked a little about having a family in the future but haven't gotten too deep into the topic because you both know you have a lot to do in your life

- but sometimes just at night when you're both in bed, you both will just talk about kids and settling down

- so you know he wants kids eventually but of course not right now and you'll agree

- but sometimes you can't help yourself feel warm inside when you see a cute baby playing with their toys in the shopping cart when yall are at the store

- or when you hold your few month old cousin or Alex's newborn family member

- you just can't help yourself but be in awe 

- and you think its not that noticeable but it is. people can tell

- even Alex can tell lol

- he'll looks at you with a smile when you're  playing with his little cousins on the carpet when you visit his family 

- he'll tease you when when your both alone

- nothing mean but just the little comments he make that lets you know he knows about your baby fever

- but you being you, you deny it saying you were just being nice, and he just goes " yeah yeah sure" with a smile

- but he's all just joking around and actually loves how you act towards babies or just kids in general

- and if your baby fever stays for a while then he won't mind going deeper into the topic of having a baby of your own

- and when he sees you like this he can't help but start to feel it too

- and it doesn't help when his mother always asks when you're both getting married and giving her little nietos

- but normally he'd shush her before she goes on

- but this time you both just smiled and shook your head which was a different reaction than what she's used to which made her excited thinking you both were gonna start trying

- but you both quickly told her you were still gonna wait a while

- but he does wanna get married and have kids sometime

- really he'd wanna do anything as long as it was with you and makes you happy

- so having a baby is on the to do list for you guys so don't worry lol