#im starting to think he isnt just fucking with us but actively dropping hints

[froggyliciouz]

Maybe im reaching but perhaps he’s hinting at a flashback to Crowleys fall… as well as…

…possibly Aziraphales fall?

[acotar-shit-thoughts]

MY RE-WRITING PARTS OF THE ACOTAR SERIES

*some acosf spoilers thrown in because i realize that SJM is writing a story so far removed from what i thought the story should go*

*a bit rant-y but i think this would have made the story more compelling*

i still think elain should have died in the cauldron back in ACOMAF and in my logic this would set of a story that will definitely heal and see powerful women who didn’t have power before be able to weld and rise up.

- nesta and feyre is over protective of elain and would do anything for her (and quite frankly elain’s personality is almost none existent. nesta and feyre are fantastic juxtapositions of one another and can carry themselves well)

- killing elain in the cauldron would up the stakes for both feyre and nesta (instead of making the only thing interesting about elain being likeable, gardening, azriel/lucien ships, pretty and agreeable, and bouncing back and forth between sisters)

- therefore forcing them to work together; push aside their personal bad blood for one another in the name of avenging elain

- through that process of strategizing and learning about fae and their own abilities (feyre’s high lord powers and nesta’s power she stole from the cauldron) they learn to appreciate one another. (and since this is a love story, nesta can still train with cassian but it would be BECAUSE SHE ASKED TO BE TRAINED instead of being forced to)

- they would eventually HAVE to confront their deep personal relationship to one another and move pass their old pains (INSTEAD OF MAKING FEYRE ALMOST DIE FROM SOMETHING THAT SHOULDN’T BE AN ISSUE OR ANY OF THE SPITEFUL SHIT THAT HAPPENS IN ACOSF)

- we learn about their family and their dynamics and how they can agree that their father is trash and even talk about the pain their mother gave (where BOTH SISTERS WILL HAVE AN APPRECIATION OF EACH OTHER AND MAKE SURE WHEN THEY HAVE FAMILIES OF THEIR OWN THEY WON’T TREAT THEIR KIDS THE SAME WAY AND EVEN HELPING HUMAN FAMILIES WHO STRUGGLED LIKE THEM)

- no locking anyone up!!!! the self sabotage of nesta won’t happen because she will put her energy into avenging elain; thus fighting for a bigger cause than herself and make her actually use the power she stole. SHE WOULD HAVE AGENCY. NO RELYING ON THE DRINKING/SEX BECAUSE OF PAIN TROPE. NO RHYSAND BEING A FUCKEN DICK AND EVERYONE SHIT TALKING TO NESTA. they can still have that disagreeable dynamic, whatever but rhysand being over protective and everyone else ganging up on her was disgusting and she did not deserve that.

- WE WILL SEE THEM BECOME LEADERS -- they will lead the strategy along w the IC; we will see them lead with the other high lords, we will see them convince the humans. we got glimpses of that in ACOWAR! SJM writes girlbosses which is just *rolls eyes*. lets let these ladies actually LEAD. let them actually have power instead of writing lip service for that. or taking their fucken power away for the drama. (WTF WAS THE FEYRE CAN’T HEAL BULLSHIT?? WHY STIFLE FEYRE WHEN SJM BUILT HER UP IN THE LAST FOUR FUCKEN BOOKS TO BE THIS POWERFUL FIGURE BUT LIKE GIVING BIRTH, A NATURAL THING THAT FEMALES CAN DO, IS GONNA KILL HER AND MAKE HER THE MOST VULNERABLE SHES EVER BEEN AND MAKE RHYSAND LOOK LIKE A SHIT PARTNER CUZ HE REFUSE TO TELL HER ABOUT HER RISKS. JUST FOR THE DRAMA I GUESS???)

- when war is fought and lost; we see them stand together to become the new leaders of the new world. the wall is gone and hybern is killed. again, we got a glimpse of that in ACOWAR at the end. there should have been a moment when fayre confronts tamlin and TALK to him. they seemed so poised to be LEADERS. new leadership because the old high lords are garbage and they fucked up so many times. introduce new policies, introduce new trade deals, beef up economies (esp since this is hyberns main reason to high up prythian), etcetc.

- feyre can work on leading night court as a high lady along with leading the rebuild of spring court (since she fucken wrecked it, displaced all the citizens, and took it from tamlin. feyre also knows about spring court’s rebuilding effort and how the tilthe isn’t it. she even said that tamlin should not make ppl bring useless things because they have so many things. the water folks dont have fish and that tamlin should have helped them hunt for fish or whatever instead of punishing them) and the new laws and policies for humans (can be intigration?? rhys and feyre talked about human refugees??? where did that talk go??). we can actually see feyre be a HIGH lady instead of her spending her days shopping and decorating and breeding (WHICH IS EXACTLY WHAT WOULD HAPPEN WITH TAMLIN and we saw that as a bad thing!!! why spend 600 goddamn pages talking about not being that to turn 180 and be exactly that????)

- feyre’s reason for fighting has also been to the benefit of the human realm. the fact that she kind of said fuck it as the books progressed to where nesta or elain are the ambassador to the human realm felt so wrong because being human once was what was special about feyre. that was her north star. her whole heartedly identifying fae is wrong (maybe this is my theory about ACOTAR being a tragedy comes in).

- nesta would finally be an actual queen. you can’t tell me with all the mentions of nesta having queen energy is gonna translate to whatever the fuck it was in ACOSF??? nesta would get leadership experience. she would have purpose! she might even be able to envision of brighter future and fight to not let something like hybern happen again. protect those who can’t be protected? protect those who see the light in the world the way elain did?? maybe even her power can protect the cauldron and she could be a guardian or something??

- this is where i venture off; after the war, feyre leads the rebuild in prythian. nesta can lead the effort in hybern (AGAIN NO LOCKING UP!!! NO TAKING TIPS FROM TAMLIN’S HANDBOOK. NO FORCING HER AGAINST HER WILL!!!). she could rebuild it in a new name and face. her book could focus on her learning about her power; learning about how to please the hybern folks who dont like her (and i like that nesta isnt a likeable person from the start unless you are someone like meeeee). imagine seeing her ACTUALLY make her own friends and have her own inner circle??? imagine her making new friends and helping others. imagine her ruling??? making policys and laws?? imagine her going to different courts to do economic trades and deals?? she would channel her energy into something HELPFUL AND IMPACTFUL. she can still dance and do the big ball stuff. she can host she can feel like shes in control and maybe even channeling her guilt into something that is systematically helpful.

- along w this, cassian would be able to leave night court. he has been side line for so long. hes a buffer between mor and az and thats unfair to him. hes his own person and shouldnt be deligated to that task. he would have to actively choose nesta, which he wasn’t doing throughout the original trilogy. he would have to be placed in an environment outside his comfort! cassian is so much more than a goof ball and buffer. besides his skills might be necessary to handle hybern’s war-happy citizens

- we can see more of this world. hybern is sitting empty and the problems from the start still exists. im just so disappointed that SJM drops hints of scocio-economic problems that exists in the fae world and dont deliver. why deliver something so complicated to ignore??? its such ashame this world is so rich and beautiful and the characters are so fun to read about and for it to be turn out...so....trope-y (IN A BAD WAY). the original stories are fine too i guess, but it doesn’t feel planned out. it feels like SJM writes on a whim and just changes things as she sees it fit the relationship of characters.

[caps-clever-girl]

thoughts on endgame.

fair warning, i am not going to be kind. i enjoyed watching this movie, for the most part. it was funny; it had many good jokes and good, pure and well done interactions between multiple characters. but i didnt like it, and here are the reasons why.

unfortunately, this isnt a ‘nitpicky’ post. my main problems are with a lot of the bigger points points of the film, and had quite a few. this is a LONG post.

• “marvels first gay character!!!!!!!!!!!!” shut up. you joined the ‘fad’ late for brownie points and it was a cameo character who got about 3 lines. there are plenty of canon queer and gay characters who could have been introduced, either as cameos or in earlier films. dont even get me started on the fact that tony has more canon bi material than most others and marvel could have taken the time or even the slightest bit of effort to make this. while i enjoyed the jokes about steve being Incredibly Hot and his ass being Gods Gift To America (which honestly??? correct!) that could have been expanded on. several characters made comments about how nice steve’s ass is, and could have been used as actual material for a queer character, instead of sticking a random chharacter in there. i get the whole ‘gay people could be anyone! its normal!’ thing by giving the ‘role’ to a regular person, but you would also prove that by making any one of your 30+ main cast actually queer instead of making gay jokes and hints that could be retconned and explained away by humour.

• slapping someone out of a panic attack, and treating the panic attack like a joke. yeah, i get it, they didnt have a lot of time. still, come on. did iron man 3 teach you nothing? apparently not since tonys ptsd was pretty much never brought up again.

• speaking of thor. now, i am not an expert, but when a person gains weight, they do not keep their abs. certainly not after five entire years - not even asgardians. i also found it odd that thor became the way he did. i understand gaining weight and comfort eating after all the trauma thor went through losing his home and brother and people, i really do, but 1.) do it properly, at least, and 2.) thor is the leader of his people. does he want the task? not particularly. he hasnt wanted to be king since the first thor movie, but hes been forced into the role. even depressed i dont think thor would shy away from it, not completely. hes always wanted to do right by his people and i think that hed stuck to it, especially after The Snap backing him into a corner, if that makes sense. to clarify, i dont have a problem with chubby/fat thor. (IF done right instead of with weird, shitty cgi, that is.) i have a problem with the fact that thor, even though he doesnt want to be king, would abandon the last remanents displaced people to build a new home all on their own and become a hermit gamer boy. ESPECIALLY with valkyrie around. she’s been through a derpressive, alcohol fuelled time in her life and thor pulled her out of it. (mostly anyway, asgardians are party animals and im p sure she still gets trolleyed on the reg) i have bo doubt that after years of wallowing she would do her damned best to try and kick his ass out of it, even if it were just because his people need a leader, instead of letting him drop everything on her and just let him stew while new asgard gets on with it. i also didnt like the fact that all of thors emotional moments were treated as jokes and made to be funny when hes genuinely Fucked Up about eveything thats happening and made his image into a whiny crybaby.

• professor hulk. more of a personal one, this, simply because i just didnt like it. fair enough if y’all disagree on this one, im not going to fight it. i just never saw him wanting to combine himself with the hulk. ever. when he apleared on the screen i was completely blindsided, and his explanation, and the way he interacted with the kids????? i just want to know where all of this confidence suddenly came from. i use the term ‘suddenly’ loosely, since its been five years, but bruce has never been the guy to care about strength or looks or fame. hes always been shy and nerdy. not afraid to stand his ground or make his opinion known. hes bot a catchphrase, posing and flexing ‘hell yeah lets take a selfie’ guy. i get that thats maybe the result of the hulk and bruces combined personality but it just felt WEIRD to me, like, there wasnt a time in the film where i felt comfortable with the character. this was the final avengers film, with all of the original six avengers in it. but it didnt feel like that, it didnt feel like bruce or the hulk was in the film, even though there was a lot of funny and good moments with orofessor hulk, it felt like a stranger with some familiar characteristics. it ruined any feelings of nostalgia for me. i like bruce, and i like the hulk. i like the way their differences add to the story and the way they interact with eachother, and the slow change in their relationship. sorry if its petty but i prefer them seperate, theres just so much more to them for me.

• clint and natasha’s journey for the soul stone. both times, in infinity war and endgame, a male character and a female character went to get the soul stone. both times the male came back and the female died, and we lost possibly two most developed and main-line female characters in the entire mcu. now i understand the reasoning for both, and out of the characters that went there, i agree with the choice. thanos and gamora; it was thanos who was aware of the sacrifice and who chose to make it. gamora didnt get a choice and was unaware until it was too late. thanos was never going to die there. he knew there would be a sacrifice and chose to take gamora, because she would be the most likely sacrifice to actualky sucsesfully yield the soul stone because she was the most loved by him. i get it, but we lost gamora and i dont like it. clint and natasha; looking at it completely objectively, clint has a family, a wife and three children, that he wants to get back. natasha does not have any children, nor any (blood) family. if i had to choose, based on facts like that, id choose her too. but i still hate it, because there goes the only female member of the avengers. also, nebula (and i think maybe rocket?) KNEW that a sacrifice would be made and either accidentaly or deliverately left out the terms of aquiring the soul stone. it would have been easy to tell, if not easy to solve. but nothinb was said, and two best friends had to make a fucking awful and horrible choice when they might not have had to.

• on the ‘feminism’ tangent; the random congragation of women in the end scene??????? i dont????? okay so i am marking myself as a hypocrite here because i did love this scene!!! it made my lil gay heart go boom to see so many good and strong women all in one place - ESPECIALLY rescue - and it also made me realise how many women there actually are across the mcu??? which was really nice?? but it just felt... so forced? the way they ALL suddenly apleared and stood together even though they were all mixed in around the battlefield. it was a wonderful thought and i did enjoy it, but it seemed too Off and Odd to seem as much more than a bid for Feminism Brownie Points.

• captain marvel. i dont know about you, but i was actually looking forward to her being in the film. for a character so hyped to be the saviour of the avengers and the end of thanos, she was barely in the film. ‘i have other planets to save, the earth isnt the only one affected by thanos’ yeah but earth is the only plannet actively attacked by him. its where the people who are rallying to fight him and reverse what he did are. dont you want to stick around and help them? surely it would be a hell of a lot easier with your help, and faster too. yes, she blasted theough the ship at the end, but she did fuck all to help defeat thanos himself, and the help she did give with the ship came at the end. i genuinely think they kept her out of the movie because she was too powerful, and would have made fighting thanos etc too easy to get all the suffering and noble sacrifices in. if she had been a side character i dont think id be as mad, but she got a whole MOVIE in which she is clearly the start of the entire avengers initiative; she is their HISTORY!!!! she is so powerful!!!! and yet she has 5 mins of screen time!! it pisses me off that she was So Strongly implied to be the character the avengers NEEDED, the one that without whom it would be IMPOSSIBLE to defeat thanos; the woman that really tipped the scales in there favour, and yet she did fuck all. (and lets not even get started on the carol/rhodey and carol+tony bromance we COMPLETELY missed out on.)

• (speaking of bonding what the fuck happened to tony and nebula????? after they were rescued it was like they never met)

• the whole entire concept of time what the fuck!!! ‘dont change anything’ okay well for the most part you did okay, and the PLAN and CONCEPT was actually really easy to grasp, at least to me, which is hard when working with paradoxes and wibbley-wobbley timey-wimey stuff. but that went out the water when past!thanos and his army were brought into the future and disintergrated. does this mean they’re dead in the past - since they would have just. Left and not come back and therefore ceased to exist from that point???? or did tonys Snap simply send them back to their point in time, with no memory of what had occured? idk because it aint explained.

• speaking of; loki. again - his past changed; he managed to escape, with the tessarect. this is not explained nor expanded upon. assuming the events of thor 2 came about - which were impossible if he escaped - then his timeline would carry on as normal, and would PERHAPS explain the tessarects wacky timeline. (i dont know for certain, because i cant work it out anyway). but loki disspearing means he wouldnt have gone to trial on asgard, nor would he wouldnt have been in thor 2 - also by extention meaning that frigga is still alive. technically if he went back to get odin off the throne anyway, everything else after thor 2 involving loki/asgard would still come to pass. either way, we dont know. it was a nice way for endgame to give fans what we wanted; the posibility of loki coming back. but it doesnt make a lick of sense, and we have no idea if hes still alive/escaped or not, and why. personally i have no fucking idea and im pretty sure it was a cop out so they could give us what we wanted. which brings to my other point:

• giving the audience what we wanted. we got loki interaction. we got loki ‘escaping’ and ‘surviving’ (????) we FINALLY got rescue, who many fans have been asking for since i think iron man 2, and even more so since The Badass That Was Pepper Potts in im3. we got morgan stark and tony and pepper married, we got jokes about steves ass, and more jokes about male characters admiring how hot other male characters are. and, most importantly, we got tony having the nice relaxing life he wanted out in his cabin in the woods with his wife and kids (even if it was a horrific way of getting there). i dont quite know how to explain it, but to me it seemed like they were shoving as many ‘fan-requests’ into the film as possible - so that when they killed off 2 of the original 6, and removed another by ageing him out of use, they could lessen the backlash and justify the changes by going ‘but you got so mych that you wanted beforehand!!’. a tactic they drenhed us with because one of those 2 was a fan favourite that people were BEGGING not to be killed off because they felt that he hadnt recieved anywhere near the peace or happiness he deserved so far - and now never will. which brings me to:

• tony’s death.

there are two parts to this.

one, i was incredibly pissed off because strange’s Big Plan, the ONLY reason he saved tony in infinity war, was so tony could use the gauntlet and kill himself anyway later. anyone in that film could have used that gauntlet - and many wouldnt have suffered fatal injuries; captain marvel, steve, t’challa, peter quill to name a few possibilities - basically, anyone who is in anyway enhanced would have had a better chance of surviving and would have therefore been the better choice; aka, half the mcu. i think it was a proximity thing; tony was closest. he had the oppertunity and the others didnt. but tony didnt know about the option of using it until strange looked at him and gave him ‘the signal.’ the signal to sacrifice himself. and of course, this is tony stark. when is he ever going to refuse that.

but reason two, and this is the one that stings the most; tony started the mcu.

in my opinion, he is the character who has put the most in during the whole ten years. he, of ALL the characters, deserves his happy ending of marrying the love of his life and having a kid, without constantly fearing that hes foing to have them ripped away from him, that hes going to have to fight to the death to keep them safe.

one of my friends, when i complained about tony dying, said; “it was his time. plus, he had a legacy! with pepper and morgan, and the iron man name. how can you be upset?”

i can be upset because tony got the happiness he wanted after losing exactly 50% of what he held dearest. i can be upset because hawkeye got his family back, but tony only got five years with his wife and less with his kid, instead of getting the oppertunity to grow old with his wife and watch his kid go to collage like clint will. i can be upset because the character that has gone through the most trauma, both physically and mentally, who spent the last ten years trying to better the world and everything in it and protect it, who got the most shit for every decision he made and who ended EVERY SINGLE FILM with a broken limb or his face littered with bruises and cuts while every other film centric character ended the film usually scrape free, didnt get his happy fucking ending. sure, he has a legacy. but i dont give a shit, because that legacy - of iron man, of morgan and pepper and stark industries - would have been there whether tony was alive to see it flourish or not. but he wont be.

this goes beyond being a ‘tony stan’ or tony being my favourite character. out of every single character, from start to finish, anthony edward stark fucking deserved a happy ending and by god he deserved it the most. i will argue that until my end of days.

i watched tony stark on screen for ten years, and i watched him get progressively more scarred and fucked up. his parents. the ten rings. losing yinsen. obie. vanko and hammer. the palladium poisoning. new york; the nuke and the wormhole. the ptsd, the panic attacks. the iron legion and retirement attempt. killian and extremis and the end of that returement attempt. wanda’s vision. jarvis being destroyed. the accords and subsequent civil war. finding out about the winter soldier and his hand in his parents death. finding out that steve knew. siberia. struggling to balence iron man and the accords. losing peter. being stranded on titan, in space for weeks.

tony in that wheelchair, shaking and rail thin and unable to stand for more than a few moments will haunt me forever.

i watched him suffer for ten years - longer, even, in-universe - clawing for his quiet, happy ending while fighting for the happy ending he thought the rest of the world deserved, and instead of getting rewarded he just got beaten down and beaten down. after ten fucking hears of watching the backbone of the entire franchise get nothing but shit piled on him until he struggled to breathe for it, excuse me for thinking he woukd finally get the chance to crawl out from under it and be happy. no strungs attatched, no awful, sacrificial price to be payed, just for a man who had given so. fucking. much. to finally get something for once, and be allowed to keep it.

well i was wrong. and i feel so incredibly fucking stupid for even hoping otherwise.

and thats what i didnt like about avengers endgame.

[kewltie]

im soooooooooo glad that two scenes when up next to each other in time bc I JUST LOVE PARALLELS HELLO!!!!

marriage ceremony, highlight: 

cd!donghae is always extra (look that boy may not want attention but man he does everything that cause the opposite to happen) but essein??? EQUALLY EXTRA. i mean who even thought consort candidates should even fight each other to get the hand of their ruler?? tho that tradition has died out (bc peace & consort no longer holds it original power) but past!!essein were so badass tbh. AND WHY WOULD YOU EVEN BUILD A FUCKING TEMPLE ON AN ACTIVE VOLCANO AND MAKE IT TRADITION FOR THE ROYAL FAMILY TO GET THERE WTF. 

which lead to our next point: the essein are super super (!!!!!) devout ppl so much so that they build a temple on an active volcano believing wholehearted that their god will protect him... and well it rumbles and scared donghae to shit but it hasn’t kill anyone yet in thousand of years so i guess proven right??? :D

donghae 10000% does not give a shit about essein’s gods but he understand their important to these ppl so although he does walk the walk he really reaaaaally isnt that sincere. that will change with time!!

gods ARE HUGE thing in this world but that was in the past now the world can of split b/t those that still believe and revere them to those that think they are decoration bc while esse entire infrastructure rely on magic and will of the gods so ofc they still hold the gods in high regard but in other part of the world where technology has triumph over magic (which is selective, rare, and hard to train/use) everybody catch on that advancement so why pray to the gods for rain when you can build an aquaduct and bring it to your drought written lands?? so more advance the nation (which is mainly the bigger/powerful/rich ones) the less the gods have any influence. but since essein are ‘isolationist’ they disregard any advancement and still practice the old ways, so that’s why the gods are sooo super important to them and IT HASN’T FAIL THEM SO WHY FIX IT???? 

donghae’s nation, nave, actually straddle that magic/tech divide so while they have advance tech from the bigger countries trickling in but bc donghae’s father is devout, religion and the worship of ion is important to donghae and his family.... but as you can see that no longer matter to donghae bc he had long turned away from them bc they are useless in his eyes ///o\\\\. 

i thought about how a big country like essein manage to keep communication with its vast territories since they don’t have the advancement from the outside world (which use something similar to the telegram/phone). AND I REALIZE oooh essein are heavy reliance on their beasts/monsters and tamed to do manual labor and assist in ordinary living so communciation and transimission??? aiayas--giant eyeball bats with hive mind and ability to transmit info/image easily so yes i hope to explore more creatures in the world of esse :)))) IT’S SO MUCH FUN. 

the mountain that donghae climbed is shallowly inspired by china’s mount tai which has 7k-ish stone step to climb to the top!!!! IT’S REALLY BEAUTIFUL AND A MARVEL 

no gods, highlight: 

it’s not explicitly stated in the text (i think, i haven’t decide yet) but during his years of captivity donghae suffered from sever depression and suicide ideation :((((.  i soooo hope it’s clear that it's heavily hinted throughout the series 

when he was captive of his brother he wasn’t  physically torture or punished but he still suffer from severe abuse just not a physical one but mainly emotional/mental abuse (which is not a form that we see a lot in writing sadly) and it’s just as bad if his bro beat him. the thing is donghae’s father lost the war against his own son and therefore many ppl in his family are executed and DONGHAE HAD TO WATCHED IT HAPPENED and the sole reason he’s alive is bc his bro god a an unreasonable grudge on donghae and kept him alive just to fuck with him. he’ll come to donghae’s room and tell him father’s death?? UR FAULT. older brother dying?? ALSO YOUR FAULT. everybody that die??? YOUR FAULT. the reason our country was in a civil war?? IT’S BC YOU EXIST IF YOU DIDN’T EXIST I WOULD NEVER CHALLENGE FATHER AND NOBODY HAD TO SUFFER. imagine day in and ay out someone tell you this your fucking self worth and sense start to warped and you start to believe it IS YOUR FAULT even though it ISN’T AT ALL. and not only he kept you captive and feed you all these lies he isolated you from everyone and the few you get in contact with (i.e. the servants) the moment you make talk/friends with them they get kill just TO FUCK WITH YOU BC YOU CAN’T HAVE FRIENDS AND NOT EVEN A DROP OF JOY FROM CONVERSING WITH ANOTHER HUMAN. and if you try to escape??? BIG MISTAKE you do anything wrong in his eyes he pick the ppl you knows/care about (your wetnurse, ur old servants, etc) that are kept in his prison and take them out and make an example of them INSTEAD OF YOU bc your actions LEAD TO THEIR DEATH... so yea he doesn’t outright physically hurt donghae but hurt his heart and self worth instead and it’s sooo incredibly that donghae  even thought he’s out of nave now... he still fucked up in many ways :((((((((((((((( and it’s long road to recovery before he can see that he’s amazing and a survivor!!!!!  

donghae’s awkwardness/social inept with ppl through much of the first three arcs (??) is attributed to after years of isolation from other ppl so while he was bright and social in the past... now he’s just a pale imitiation of his self but every now and then we SEE THAT TRUE SPARK OF HIS THAT BEEN HIDING ALL ALONG LIKE CHALLENGING HIS RIGHT TO MARRY HYUKJAE AND LIKE FUCKING WINNING IT EVEN THOUGH HE’S SCARED TO DEATH BUT HE’S MORE SCARED OF BEING ALONE AGAIN NOW THAT HE FOUND PPL HE CAN RELY ON \\\O//. 

‘my god died a long time ago’ is honestly one of my fav lines bc it actually talk about two things 1) is that donghae denoucing the gods didn’t begin when his father died but his mother’s death actually. that was when he prayed and prayed for her to recover from her illness but that never happen and since then he realized gods are whimsical beings they only deem to visit you when they want to and not BY UR TERMS. 2) donghae loves his father V V V V MUCH, he admire him for being such a noble and righteous person and was very close to him so while donghae turned away from the gods he put his father on a pedestal and in a way he’s donghae’s god now and when his father died.... so did his god. 

 kyu’s and the crew celebrating ion is actually pretty common thing for them not only to honor donghae and his family’s god but since they are so devout in their beliefs and believe all gods are important they are respectful of even to foreign gods. esse, throughout history, had acquired a lot of territories (mainly smaller islands surrounding their mainland) and each ones of them have their set of beliefs and religion and though they are adsorbed into esse, they are still allow to worship their original gods alongside essein’s 12 holy deities that are super suppppppper important to them. 

[leekycauldron-blog1]

Moment of Madness

feel free to send requests HERE

Summary: History of Magic is mind numbing enough to send anyone into madness. And so when Draco decides to allievate his boredom by sending passive aggressive messages to Harry across the desks, Harry finds that Draco isnt always as bad as he seems. That’s until he is.

(A/N: The messages sent between Harry and Draco are the sentences in italics)

Pairing: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter

Warnings: Swearing

Wordcount: 2.9k

Surviving a class on barely 4 hours of sleep is difficult and Harry’s sure that sitting through two and half hours of Professor Binns drone on about the great Giant Wars of the nineteenth century is even more difficult to survive than any other class. In fact, Harry’s not even sure he can survive because the fact that these wars ‘are a prime example of bellicose conflict which hold a significant place in the history of the Wizarding World’ doesn’t seem nearly as important to Harry as it should do given the fact he’s about to be sitting his O.W.Ls in a few months’ time. But Harry can’t find it in him to care, not when the Professor’s monotonous voice is enough to make his eyelids heavy and there’s no way he can take notes when the words blur on his page.

Usually, Harry would spend History of Magic lessons playing hangman on the corner of his parchment with Ron beside him; no one could see, they sit at the back of the class room and Professor Binns is so caught up in the textbook that he most likely wouldn’t look up even if someone dropped dead in front of him. Harry finds mild amusement in that thought since everyone knows Professor Binns wasn’t even aware of his own death when he woke up one day and began teaching as a ghost – what Harry would give to feel that blissfully oblivious.

The professor’s words have started to slur together as Harry’s mind gets more distant, his eyes closed now as he rests his head on his arm, his head tilted to the side so that if the professor weren’t to look up, he wouldn’t see that Harry was asleep. Because he’s falling asleep and his eyelids are so heavy he couldn’t bear to keep them open anymore; it’s so relaxing, so relieving, so-. Harry’s thoughts of just how comfortable he’s feeling right now are halted by the sound of parchment fluttering on the desk beside him. Assuming Ron has finally awoken and decided he wants to play hangman now, Harry begrudgingly opens his eyes, slightly annoyed that he couldn’t rest for longer but he supposes it’s for the best.

Except Ron’s breath is still heavy beside him and Harry notices that perched on the side of his desk, just next to where his head had been, is a small origami bird. Three guesses as to who that’s from, Harry thinks to himself with a roll of his eyes; he doesn’t even bother to look in Malfoy’s direction as he reaches out to open the note. He’s certain it’s from Malfoy, he’s sent a note like this once before and besides, Harry can feel his eyes on him from the desk to his right but he ignores it, unfolding the note without even a glance in that direction.

bored potter? lets hope old binns doesnt notice… would be terrible to see someone as precious as ‘the chosen one’ get detention.

Harry practically fights the urge to bang his head on the desk from irritation. He’d been waiting for Malfoy to pick up on all the ‘Chosen One’ shit the Prophet had been spouting off, now he has to put up with that prick’s incessant teasing on top of the rest of the school whispering every time he walks past. Brilliant. Harry scrunches up the piece of parchment and shoves it in the pocket of his robes, refusing to even acknowledge Malfoy with the hopes that he’d direct his boredom on to someone else.

Another piece of parchment levitates onto his desk and Harry sees it’s not folded in some obnoxiously fancy origami figure this time, instead folded messily into a square just small enough for it to not be noticed as it quickly flies across the gap in between their desks.

so we’ve taken to ignoring people these days have we? Is the chosen one above all of us commoners now his face is plastered all over the daily prophet every day?

Harry scowls at the message as he reads it – no but I’m definitely prone to ignoring self-righteous arseholes like you, Harry thinks to himself but he doesn’t write it. He contemplates even writing anything at all but knowing Malfoy, he wouldn’t stop sending them until Harry rose to the bait and Harry was already hooked on. He was too tempted to retort that he just couldn’t refuse.

sounds like you spend a lot of time reading about me in the prophet malfoy. Im flattered honestly.

Harry scribbles the message on the same bit of spare parchment that Malfoy wrote on before, his handwriting noticeably messy underneath the other boy’s near-perfect words. That’s typical of him, Harry thinks. As much as he dislikes the boy, Harry can’t deny that practically everything he does is as near to perfect as you can get – perfect test scores, perfect handwriting, perfect fucking uniform (there’s never a button undone or tie slightly out of place). And no, it’s not like Harry pays attention to that, of course he doesn’t, but it’s hard to not notice it. Mindlessly, Harry flicks his wand slightly to levitate the parchment back to Malfoy who’s eyes seem to light up just at the fact he’s got a response, Harry notices the way his mouth curls into a sly smirk as he reads the words and picks up his quill.

you wish potter. I think you’ll find I spend half my mornings trying to avoid seeing your face on everyone’s newspapers. shame I have to see it so much in real life.

A roll of his eyes is Harry’s initial response as he dares a look in Malfoy’s direction, excepting him to have that familiar snarl on his face but he’s not even looking over at Harry. Instead, he’s feigning interest in the class and Harry almost admires the way he’s able to pretend to know what’s going on so easily – Harry knows that he himself looks lost in most classes at the best of times.

Harry chews the bottom of his lip as he contemplates the best way to get under Malfoy’s skin, he thinks he prefers this to shouting in the corridors, there’s more time to really think about what he’s going to say. In the end he decides that the best way to really get to the boy beside him is to act as though he doesn’t care, act disinterested because one thing he knows about Malfoy is that he loves knowing his words are getting to Harry and Harry isn’t going to give him what he wants.

hm okay then.

Malfoy puts the parchment down on the desk beside him after he’s read and Harry has to supress a smirk as he watches the blond from the corner of his eye. There’s nothing he can say to that. Harry essentially just ended the conversation in three words but Harry also knows that it’s not going to be over because Malfoy won’t let Harry think he’s got the upper hand. He watches as the boy picks up his quill hesitantly, unsure as to whether replying will make it seem as though Harry won or if ignoring will make it seem like Harry won. Harry thinks it’s a win-win either way for him but Malfoy obviously thinks otherwise as he’s put the quill down now and his wand flicks the parchment back to Harry.

besides, my family have been in the prophet HUNDREDS of times. you’re not special.

It’s bizarre to Harry how predictable Malfoy is to him, he could have put money on Malfoy bringing his family into this at some point – the stuck-up prat can’t stop himself from showing off – except Harry wouldn’t ever waste his money. Harry doesn’t respond this time, he just leaves the note on the desk and directs his gaze to the front of the classroom. But Harry can practically feel Malfoy’s irritation radiating off of him, he’s hyper-aware of the glares that keep being shot in his direction before yet another piece of parchment lands beside him.

don’t ignore me

Just two more minutes before another lands.

potter

Merlin, he really is feeling particularly annoying today, Harry thinks as he decides to play up to Malfoy’s need to get his attention. Harry lets out a yawn, it’s completely fake because since they’ve started sending these notes Harry’s woken up significantly. Nonetheless, he rests his head on his arm again, his eyes fluttering closed the same as earlier, before parchment lands on his desk again. Although not before it hits his face causing his eyes to fly open, they meet Malfoy’s gaze as he stares back in amusement. Amusement. Harry doesn’t think he’s witnessed that emotion on Malfoy’s face, usually it’s disgust or anger or some other negative word that is associated with the boy. And Harry’s not entirely sure when this exchange became a little friendlier than usual but it certainly feels that way.

POTTER STOP BEING FUCKING LAZY!

Harry’s lips curl a little at the edges as he reads that message, noticing the slightest hint of a smile on Malfoy’s lips as well. Not that the note was particularly funny, they just both know Harry wasn’t really asleep and they both know that the attempt at acting so failed miserably.

are you really that bored that you’re resorting to literally throwing insults at me on pieces of spare parchment?

Harry notices the way Malfoy very-nearly-almost-but-not-quite laughs at the message and Harry also notices that he very-nearly-almost-but-not-quite feels happy about that fact before he snaps himself out of it because he doesn’t like Malfoy. Of course he doesn’t. It’s just strange to have this new dynamic where they aren’t actively telling the other they hate them – it’s strange and it’s only because they have no one else to talk to.

yes I am really that bored so humour me. if you’ve got anything better in mind I’d be happy to hear your suggestions. only if it doesn’t involve sleeping. or ignoring me. because we already established you can’t do either of those things

Harry has to tear a new bit of parchment now, the previous one is full from the notes and so he hurriedly writes a response. A response that maybe isn’t a peace offering in the slightest, in fact, it’s far from it but Harry’s decided he’s not in the mood to spark up another argument right now given how tired he is.

how about not arguing? it seems pretty ineffective trying to do it on a piece of parchment. not the same when I cant hear how much your voice infuriates me

Malfoy smirks at his parchment as he reads Harry’s response, not even hesitating to think before he starts to write and Harry mentally kicks himself at the fact he’s probably writing a spiteful response; telling Malfoy not to do something is probably the exact same a leaving a slab of raw meat in front of a werewolf and hoping they wouldn’t eat it – impossible to resist. So much for the not-so-peaceful peace offering.

infuriates you? and here i was thinking you get all red and flustered because you think im sexy not because you’re angry. shame.

Harry’s blood runs cold as he reads the words and he’s sure it’s clear on his face, the way his features drop instantly. Yes, Harry’s gay, he’s known that fact for a while now and really only a select few people know; those select few consisting of only Ron, Hermione and Sirius. But- but Harry can’t stop his heart from speeding up because is this Malfoy’s way of telling him that he knows his secret? That would be a disaster, yet another insult for him to throw around. Fuck, what if he told everyone? What if Draco fucking Malfoy was the one who outed Harry Potter to the rest of the Wizarding World? The thought sends shivers down Harry’s spine. And maybe as a gay man, Harry can appreciate the fact that Draco Malfoy is really bloody attractive and if he wasn’t such a dick he might even go as far as to say he’s beautiful but the fact is, there’s no way Malfoy could have found out about this. Harry’s overreacting, he knows deep down that what Malfoy said was nothing meaningful, just a few words scribbled down in the spur of the moment and Harry tries his best to calm himself from his panic as he responds.  

fuck off malfoy

Malfoy responds in literally a matter of seconds, no less than a minute.

there we go! told you its easy to argue this way. anyone would think its true given how defensive you’re getting

It’s not true. Not true whatsoever. From an objective standpoint, Malfoy is attractive – anyone would admit that he is. But that doesn’t mean Harry gets flustered around him, it certainly doesn’t mean Harry thinks of him as sexy. But when he glances over to Malfoy, the blond catches his gaze with a teasing wink meant only to annoy Harry but Harry… well, Harry is mortified at the way his face seems to heat up, his stomach swirling and Merlin, what is Malfoy doing to him? Harry drags his gaze away and back to the parchment, a feeling of absolute discomfort settling at the pit of stomach because he can’t quite believe his own emotions and how the hell did a few passive aggressive notes lead to Harry being so confused?

no you’re just irritating. shut up.

Once Malfoy’s finished writing, Harry is almost one hundred percent certain he hears a small chuckle from the desk beside him. He briefly decides that he really enjoys that sound, more than he probably should, and there’s yet another blush creeping onto Harry’s cheeks. This needs to stop now. He needs to get the hell out of this classroom, away from Malfoy until he’s feeling sane enough to hate the boy again.

relax potter. Im not gonna shout out to the whole class that you fancy me

I DON’T FANCY YOU!

Harry flicks his wand slightly more urgently than he has been before and Malfoy notices because he’s practically beaming with satisfaction – that dick is loving this, Harry thinks.

ok potter whatever you say

And when he reads Malfoy’s reply, his shoulders tense along with his jaw because Malfoy is so irritating and infuriating and so Harry writes the first two words that enter his mind.

fuck you

yes potter, I already know you want to fuck me. I found that out when I decided that you fancy me.

As arrogant as Malfoy’s response is, as inexplicably annoying his smirk is from the corner of Harry’s eye, Harry finds himself letting out a snort of laughter as he reads the message. And Harry isn’t sure he finds the joke about fucking the funniest or the fact that Malfoy has apparently ‘decided’ that Harry fancies him but it’s more relief than anything because Malfoy doesn’t know he’s gay, Harry knows that for sure now. The last sentence confirmed the fact that Malfoy was talking shit for the past ten minutes. Feeling significantly more relaxed than before, Harry picks up his quill.

you’re such a-

“Mr Malfoy, Mr Potter!” Professor Binns’ voice echoes around the room and Harry’s head shoots up from looking down at the parchment so fast he’s surprised he didn’t get whiplash. People’s heads are turning now, eyeing them both carefully and as Harry glances at Malfoy, he notices the way his cheeks are tinted with the slightest shade of pink – Harry’s sure they’re both thinking the exact same thing; how fucking embarrassing for them to both be mentioned in the same sentence in front of the whole class. “Clearly you think passing notes in the back of my class important enough to not pay attention… perhaps you’d care to read them to the rest of the group?”

Harry shakes his head, his heart speeding up a little because there’s no way Ron would ever let him live it down if he heard what they’d been writing. He’d no doubt be questioned about this later in the common room anyway and he supposed he could just pass it off as Malfoy sending childish drawings again but that couldn’t happen if Ron knew the truth, he’d have reason to make fun of  Harry probably until the end of term. “No Professor, it’s not important. Sorry.”

“Very well but I expect to see you both in detention after class.” Harry merely nods in response, quickly scrunching up the parchment and stuffing it into his robes with the rest of the pieces; he’d definitely Incendio those tonight. Ron is shooting a questioning stare at Harry, one eyebrow raised as he waits for an explanation that Harry certainly can’t give now he’s under the watchful stare of the Professor. Instead he shrugs his shoulders, almost a way of telling Ron that Malfoy was being typical Malfoy without using words and Ron gets it, shooting a quick scowl over Harry’s shoulder at Malfoy before resting his head back down to sleep.

“Nice going, Potter.” Malfoy whispers with a sharp hint of malice on his tongue and Harry rolls his eyes, acting as though he didn’t hear a word otherwise. This is better, this is normal. Harry thinks he’s never going to get that friendly with Malfoy again and he is completely okay with that fact. Completely okay with the idea of repressing whatever the hell felt for the Slytherin on the desk beside him for the rest of life; this was a moment of madness, he decides, utter madness.