#im still caught up on the $160 su jacket i bought last year when i still had cash

[catspinach]

i spend a lot of money and i feel bad bc i know its all stuff that i dont necessarily need but the majority of those purchases are just regular things that i use daily? feels like im supposed to settle for the bare essentials but im sick of that!! i want comfort!!! anyways im once again in debt lol

its kind of on me tho too bc I havent been working:/ i have a job doing grocery shopping for people that i can do on my own time but i just.. cannot get myself to do it because the last order i did my car started smoking and i found out its very unsafe to drive and i gottaget around to junking it. i know its so unrealistic that the car my mom is lending me would do the same but im scared, okay!! then i thought i had a job lined up with a friend but her managers flaked on me and i havent rly been able to find anywhere that pays decent. idk, it feels like this is all on me and im sure a lot of it is.. i just feel bad idk, like i do impulse buy a lot but its never anything crazy? like who am i to refuse a pair of ear buds that arent from the fucking dollar store, or a 6 piece nugget from mcdonalds when i cant bring myself to cook anything, or even just a bottle of smirnoff. idk i think i give myself more shit for my spending habbits than i should since nobody else i know rly spends as much, but nobody else i know has to pay for car insurance and gas and food and phone bills and-

im hoping that over the fall i can start working on campus again. that was the only job that ive ever genuinely enjoyed and im scared to work anywhere else bc the other 11 jobs ive had made me just a bit suicidal !! :') i cant just suck it up anymore, i wanna be able to enjoy my work life and have a comfortable amount of cash to not be in debt all the time:((