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#never spent so much money on any single item aside from my cars that were both totaled
catspinach · 3 years
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i spend a lot of money and i feel bad bc i know its all stuff that i dont necessarily need but the majority of those purchases are just regular things that i use daily? feels like im supposed to settle for the bare essentials but im sick of that!! i want comfort!!! anyways im once again in debt lol
its kind of on me tho too bc I havent been working:/ i have a job doing grocery shopping for people that i can do on my own time but i just.. cannot get myself to do it because the last order i did my car started smoking and i found out its very unsafe to drive and i gottaget around to junking it. i know its so unrealistic that the car my mom is lending me would do the same but im scared, okay!! then i thought i had a job lined up with a friend but her managers flaked on me and i havent rly been able to find anywhere that pays decent. idk, it feels like this is all on me and im sure a lot of it is.. i just feel bad idk, like i do impulse buy a lot but its never anything crazy? like who am i to refuse a pair of ear buds that arent from the fucking dollar store, or a 6 piece nugget from mcdonalds when i cant bring myself to cook anything, or even just a bottle of smirnoff. idk i think i give myself more shit for my spending habbits than i should since nobody else i know rly spends as much, but nobody else i know has to pay for car insurance and gas and food and phone bills and-
im hoping that over the fall i can start working on campus again. that was the only job that ive ever genuinely enjoyed and im scared to work anywhere else bc the other 11 jobs ive had made me just a bit suicidal !! :') i cant just suck it up anymore, i wanna be able to enjoy my work life and have a comfortable amount of cash to not be in debt all the time:((
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Stark Spangled Forever- Utter Nonsense Drabble... 40 Questions!
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Yeah so don’t ask me where this came  from, but I saw these floating around and for some reason decided it would be funny if Steve and Katie answered  some of them instead of me...
I think the original post was from @odaatlover​  and I think I was taggeed by @sweater-daddiesdumbdork​. Anyway, I took my favourite ones and this was the result...enjoy!
1. What’s one animal you wish you could have as a pet but can’t?
Katie: I’d kinda like a tiger. They’re so graceful and  pretty but pack a mean bite and you wouldn’t mess with one would you?
Steve: Who does that remind you of?
2. Favorite thing to wear to sleep?
Steve: (grinning) Nothing.
Katie : I can confirm that is also my favourite thing he sleeps in...
3. What song really gets you going?
Katie: In what way? If it’s to dance and just act like a crazy fool to then its always going to be “Back in Black” because it reminds me a lot of Tony and happy times growing up. But if its one to spark memories then its our wedding song.
Steve: “The Only One In Color” by Trapt. I also kinda like the John Legend song  “You and I” because it reminds me of her, you know, the bit aout trying on every damned out fit she ownes before we can go out.
Katie: I don’t do that.
Steve looks at Katie, eyebrow raising.
Katie: Ok, maybe I can be a little incecisive....but tha wasn’t really the point of the...you know what, never mind. Next...
4. Where do you usually eat your meals?
Steve: It depends. If its breakfast or lunch dring the week then it’s usual eaten on the go whilst we’re getting the kids sorted or I’m in between classes...but dinner, well we always try and sit down. And at weekends we always eat at the table with the kids. 
5. Favorite meal: breakfast, lunch, or dinner?
Katie: Dinner. During the week Steve and I eat a little bit later than the kids so we have that time to ourselves just to decompress and talk about our day, have a bit of us time...and at weekend we’re al together so I love it.
Steve: I love it for all those reasons, and also because she’s the best damned cook on the planet.
6. Most embarrassing habit?
Katie: Erm...
Steve: It’s pretty embarassing when you throw a Brat tantrum about something.. Katie: I don’t do that in public.
Steve: Bullshit. I refer you to the whole car purchasing situation a few years ago.
Katie: Jamie was only a baby...I was hormonal.
Steve: Hormonal my ass, you were being a brat.
Katie:  Whatever.  Yours is definately the need to stand with your hands on your hips and give someone your Captain look, especially when it’s someone you have never met before but they just happen to be doing something to piss you off.
Steve:  I make no apologies for this.  People can be idiots.
7. Chocolate or fruity candy?
Both at same time: Chocolate.
Steve: Preferably British.  Cadbury’s to be specific. I got a taste for it when I was in London during the war.
Katie: He has a secret stash he hides from the kids...it’s great to blackmail him with.
8. Soft or hard tacos?
Steve: Soft
Katie: Hard
Steve: Although hard ones always remind me of when you went into labour with Jamie.  We were making them for lunch and you had a contraction and crushed one...
Katie: Oh yeah, maybe soft in that case...because that was painful.  And then I went throguh that another 3 times.Which is your fault.
Steve: I take full responsibility, yes. 
9. Worst way to break up a fight?
Katie: Walk into the middle of it and say “Prove it, put the hamer down...” Steve: sighs, That was one time.
Katie: And it levelled a forest.
Steve: Did it work?
Katie: Hmmm, suppose so.
Steve: There you go ...but if its a fight between us, the I can think of the best way to break it up...
Katie : grinning, yeah...that’ s pretty funny. Or the worst one is telling you you’re in the spare room.
Steve: Yeah...that sucks.
10. Best thing to say in an elevator of strangers?
Katie: Putting on deep voice “Before we get started, does anyone wanna get out?”
Steve: Sighing  I wish I had some smart reply to that bu I don’t...
Katie: No, you just threw us out the side of the damned thing from 14 storeys up
Steve: 19
Katie: That’s...that’s not better Steve.
11. Any hidden talents?
Steve: Not so much hidden really but I’m not a bad artist and Katie’s singing and piano playing is off the scale.
Katie: Steve’s really good at DIY. Like, brilliantly good.  And also pretty savvy with technology all things considered...
Steve: When you say all things considered you mean because I’m like 112
Katie: Actually, you’re like 127 if you count the 15 years you spent back in time after putting the stones back.
Steve: hesitates I thought you said they didn’t count because I didn’t spend them with you.
Katie: They don’t, but they still happened.
12. Socks or bare feet around the house?
Steve: Socks
Katie: Bare feet
Steve: Neither of those protect you from standing on lego, which for the record, I reckon has to be a pain worse than chilbirth.
Katie:  Seriously? You’re going there?
Steve: Ok, maybe that’s a slight exaggeration but it still hurts like hell.
13: Favorite board game?
Katie: Monopoly. Its funny to watch Emmy and Jamie getting really agitated and annoyed. The younger 3 don’t really get it, Rori just likes to help Steve by sorting all his money into piles and suggesting things he can spend it on.
Steve: Namely tutus and tap shoes...she still wants to be chorus girl.
14:Heat on or keep it cold with lots of layers?
Katie: Oh my God. Steve is a nightmare as he runs hotter than any of us, so whilst we want the fire or heat on he’s complaining he’s boiling hot all the time. Our bedroom is like an ice block.
Steve: Doll, I’ve been in an ice block. Trust me, our bedroom is like a furnace in comparison.
Katie: It si nice though, like sleeping with a big hot  water bottle.
15: At what age did you first have alcohol?
Katie: I’m sure Tony gave me beer when I was 15 or something but the first time I ever got drunk was aged 17. I went to a keg party at one of my friends and I was aboslutely shit faced. Tony held my hair back whilst i puked my guts upt for a good hour once I was home. I had the hangover to end all hangovers the next day and he cracked JARVIS up to maximum volume just to teach me a lesson.
Steve:  I think I was 18. Me and Buck drank a bottle of his dad’s home made hooch...yeah, it didn’t take me much to get me drunk back then and I was very, very illl. Ma thought I had a fever. Mr Barnes thought it was hilarious, but still gave us both a slap upside th head...
16. What’s the most amount of money you’ve spent on a single item of clothing?
Katie: I would say my wedding dress, but Tony bought that for me, so it would probably the the dress I wore to the  SIP Launch for The Color Of Revenge...that cost...well it was in the tens of thousands
Steve:  Blinking How much?
Katie: You don’t need to know.
17. What do you typically wear to formal events?
Steve: Whatever my gal tells me to.
Katie: And you always look great Soldier.
18. Favorite memory?
Steve: Oooh, other than when we adopted Emmy or the kids were born, I’d have to say when Katie agreed to be my wife. I’ll never forget that day as long as I live.
Katie: Me neither, not least becase I got my camero...
Steve: rolls eyes.
Katie:  Joking aside, yeah the engagement sticks in my mind but I think it was when you finally kissed me for the first time. I knew then that I was never gonna let you go.
Steve: yeah...that...ok you know what this is an impossible question after being together for so long.
19. Favorite shoes?
Katie: I have a pair of sparkly gold Jimmy Choo stilettoes that I’ve had for ages. They’re gorgeous, with ankle straps and pointed toes. I’ve had them for almost  17 years but they’re amazin.
Steve: grins. Yeah, they’re my favourite shoes too...
Katie: Pervert.
Steve: I’m not even gonna deny it. Those shoes ALWAYS stay on if I can help it.
20. Most dangerous thing you’ve ever done?
Both start to laugh hysterically.
Steve: Where do we start?
Katie: New York, Washington, Sokovia, Lagos, Leipzig, Siberia, Wakanda, Upstate and proablly a whole load of other places in between could be good places Stevie.
Steve: Yeah, this...I can’t answer this. 
21. Most embarrassing thing your parents have caught you doing?
Katie: I was 7 when my parents died but taking Tony as surrogate, I reckon him catching us in the kitchen when we were...you know, and he didn’t actually know about us has got to be up there.
Steve: Yeah, that was pretty bad... although my Ma once caught me and Bucky measuring our... looks down.
Katie: splutters What? You never told me this?
Steve: Well its not exactly somethign that crops up in conersation sweethheart? “Oh by the way, once when we were 16 me and Buck compared sizes...” Katie: Blinks. Boys are strange. So who had the biggest...
Steve: Next question...
22. Last time you had an orgasm?
Both grin.
Steve: Last night 
Katie: I can confrim this...there’s not many nights to be fair where we don’t...
23: Celebrity Crushes?
Katie: grins. Does Bucky Barnes count?
Steve: Fuck you.
24: Makeup or natural?
Katie: Normally I just wear a bit of tinted moisturiser and mascara, now I have the kids anyway. I don’t have time to really do my face in a morning. I’ll make the effort when we go out though...
Steve: You don’t need it honey.
Katie: Awww thanks baby.
Steve: Although that red lipstick you wear, the bright red..yeah...I like that... grins wickedly and winks It smears well...
Katie flushes: dirt bag
25. Favorite season?
Katie: Summer. Growing up in Malibu I like the sun and warmth.
Steve: Fall. It’s an artists dream...the colours and textures are amazing to work with
Katie: Fall is rubbish. Everything dies and it’s a bit shit.
Steve: But you make apple pie and get to snuggle in my sweaters.
Katie: literally the only 2 things good about it. 
26. Are you a competitive person?
Katie snorts and looks at Steve
Steve: I’m not even going to deny it. 
Katie: He even refuses to let the kids win a games sometimes.
Steve: Important life lessons, Doll. 
27. First pet you’ve ever owned?
Katie: My goldfish Flounder, the one that Tony replaced about 8 times. Other than that it was my Turkey Marv, he was ace.
Steve: I didn’t have any growing up so mine would be Lucky. He was a great dog. 
28. Favorite pasta dish?
Steve: Mac and Cheese, specifically Katie’s. It’s amazing.
Katie smiling: Yeah  I like Mac and Cheese, but I also enjoy carbonara.
29. Favorite kind of pizza?
Both: Pepperoni.
Steve: New York Style.
Katie: I like Deepdish every now and then.
Steve: It’s not the same...
Katie: well dur, that’s the point.
Steve: Yeah, not convinced. 
30. Lots of acquaintances or a handful of close friends?
Katie: Handful of close friends, without a doubt. They become an extension of your family, you know. All of us in the Avengers were close and when you have that bond, you’ll do anything for one another.
Steve: Agree completely. When you’re close like we all are then it makes everything that little bit easier, knowing that whatever you’re facing you’ve got each others 6.
31: Something that ruins your appetite?
Katie: Narrows eyes Whenver I see Ross on Tv. Makes me want to puke.
Steve: You really should let that go you know?
Katie: Never. I hold a grudge very well.
Steve: Don’t I know it.
32. Night out with a bunch of friends in public or night in with one friend having deep conversations?
Steve: I’ve never been one for big nights out. I enjoy the odd one now and then but, I’d much rather curl up on the sofa or round the firepit with Katie or Sam or Bucky with a beer and some decent talk.
Katie: Yeah, at one time I would have said night out hands down, but certianly since having the kids, or even since we started dating, it’s definately change my ideas a little. Some of the nicest nights we’ve had have been spent on the sofa.
Steve grins: yeah...
Katie: And not just because of that....
33. Have you ever told someone you loved them first?
Steve: I’ve only ever told one girl I loved them and she’s sat right here, and I said it first that night...
Katie: smiling Yeah, yeah you did. I wasn’t far behind though, like 3 seconds or something.
34. Have you ever had sex on the first date?
Katie: Does a one night stand count as a first date? Because if so then yes...
Steve: Same.
Katie: Lottie?
Steve: Storm?
Both look at one another,  teasingly.
Katie: Ok next question...
35. Heroes or villains?
Steve: Some people might say there’s a fine line between the two. Katie: Oh here he goes, getting all Captain Philosophical again...look, everyone knows we were suposedly the heroes Steve, and to be fair we saved the world a fair few times, we were even fighting in the shadows during the Nomad years.
Steve: I know, I know...
36. How many plates can you eat at a buffet?
Steve: You know I’ve never actually counted.
Katie: You did 20 at the last brunch we went to.
Steve: 20...that’s...impressive.
Katie: smirking Bucky did 22
Steve: sighs Of course he did...
37: Favorite dessert?
Steve: Apple pie, preferably Katie’s
Katie: Pecan pie. Hands down. 
38 Would you rather watch a TV show or a movie?
Steve: Ooh, that’s..i suppose it depends. I do like a good TV series, especially if we can curl up and binge watch once the kids are going to bed but I do have fond memories of us working through the films on my list...
Katie: smiling, yeah we had a lot of fun. Still
39. What’s your favorite compliment to give?
Steve: I love telling Katie how beautiful she is, and what a wonderful mother she is...all of which is true.
Katie: I like to remind Steve that he’s my Steve Rogers, not Captain America...because he is. And he’s the most amazing man on the planet, with or withouth that serum coursing through his veins. Which is what makes him the best dad the kids could wish for.
40. What’s the luckiest thing that’s ever happened to you?
Steve: smiling,  she’s sat right next to me.
Katie: smiling , back at ya soldier.
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whispersafterdusk · 4 years
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Lost in Time - ch 7
"Oh come on - you're going to eventually own more than two sets of clothing you know."
Eli had once said Gale seemed like 'an animated fellow' - if he was animated then Selene was animated to the power of ten; there were times she thought of the builder as a hyper little puppy and it wasn't a personality type she was entirely used to just yet so the woman's eagerness was a bit daunting sometimes.
"You've already spent a lot of money on me-" Eli started, only for Selene to make a hushing gesture.
"Yes, I have, and I've got gols to spare -- just to rub it in Higgin's face once I purposely made certain I stayed the number one top shop in Portia for three years in a row.  That built up quite the savings and I'm not going to be spending it on myself anytime soon.  Now come on - you need more than a bed and a tiny table. Go nuts!" the woman laughed, gesturing at the various furniture items that lined the walls of...was it Paulie?  Paulie's store. ((Continued below cut))
She'd eventually decided on staying with Selene; Happy Apartments had reminded her too much of the barracks, and she...wasn't ready to deal with that constant reminder yet.  So, the offered, spacious room at Selene's had been her choice, and Selene had awakened her bright and early to go furniture shopping.  The bed was easy: a simple wooden frame and headboard that had an ivy pattern carved into it and a basic mattress; the frame and headboard were painted a nice cream color and the ivy was a deep green.  Along with it she'd chosen a matching bedside table that had two small drawers built in, and she'd deemed that sufficient enough to start out with but Selene was...very insistent on furnishing the entire room.
There was another small table that matched the bed, and the builder woman kept "subtly" nudging her toward a bookcase with matching chair as well as a piece that was half dresser (with mirror) and half armoire; all of it was a pale wood that, while it wasn't the exact shade of cream as the headboard, was still a close enough color that it all could pass as a "matching" bedroom set.
"Even if I say no, this is going to magically turn up in my room isn't it?" she asked dryly.
Selene giggled.   "Not 'magically,' no.  If you like them, then let's get them -- Paulie'll even move them in for us."
"That's right!  Because it's the manly thing to do for such a large order," the giant man laughed.
The man was...pretty obsessed with the word "manly" but his laugh was genuine; he and Selene had that same level of friendliness going on. Hopefully that friendliness would remain after he found out who she was and where (and when) she'd come from.
Anyway...back to the matter at hand. Apparently everything in the shop was something Paulie had made himself, and she had a feeling that everything she picked up now was as high quality as it looked and would probably last her several decades so at least Selene wasn't paying a premium for furniture that would fall apart in two years.  "...fine, all right.  But just these things and that's IT, got it?"
Selene snickered then held a hand out to Paulie; as Eli watched the man took a handful of gols (why the world had gone back to physical coin-based currency was beyond her) and dropped it into her palm.
"When exactly did you two have time to make a bet on her wearing me down?"
"As you were looking at the bed frames. When the smallish builder sets her mind to something very little will stop her," Paulie said.  "And sometimes that means I lose a manly bet."
Selene pocketed the handful of coin, looking smug.  "It was a righteous cause, I promise you.  You deserve to actually have a comfortable living space."
"I'll have all this delivered by end of the afternoon," Paulie went on.  "Did you have a floor plan in mind?"
"Nah, we can move it ourselves once you get it into the house," Selene replied.  "Thank you Paulie."  She gave the large man a hug and he returned it with enough force to lift the builder from her feet then waved at them as they headed out from the shop.
Outside the wind was blowing but the sky was clear; Eli zipped her jacket back up against the chill and looked to Selene.  "Now what?"
"Well... Merlin is helping Petra check for any mention or pictures of the tool we need, so they're busy today.  I wanted to wait to see if they found anything and I also have the factory building the last pieces of the lockable elevator car at the moment so even if I had all the measurements or assurances that I could go ahead and try casting that tool we need I'd still have to wait for that to finish.  So...basically, we've got the day free aside from being home when Paulie delivers the furniture.  Want to get a late breakfast?"
Eli opened her mouth to reply when a comically large set of scissors over a storefront across the way caught her attention.  "-is that a salon?"
"Huh?  - oh, yeah.  Sanwa runs it - cuts, styles, and dyes hair.  And beards, but that doesn't apply to you," Selene answered, grinning.
With a small smile she looked away from the scissors shining in the morning sun and back to the builder.  "Don't suppose I could rely on your charity for one more thing, could I?"
-----------------------------------------------------------
The apricots Selene grew along the western fence line were juicy and tasted fantastic, and made a for a refreshing snack after an hour or so of moving furniture around.
Paulie had carried it all in and then she and Selene had pushed things into place; Selene was now off double checking on the final pieces of that locking car mechanism, and Eli was sitting on a stool in front of the fence with her back pressed to the wooden slats as she slowly munched on one of the last apricots the builder had gotten off the trees before winter had set in.
It seemed that along with new or hybrid fruits and vegetables a lot of plants she was familiar with had developed a rather long shelf-life on top of having shifted what seasons they typically grew in -- in this case, Selene's apricot trees kept producing right up to the first frost of late fall whereas the trees Eli had known in her time period had mostly stopped dropping fruit by late summer (and the apricots back then definitely hadn't lasted for a few months without showing signs of rot or withering).  There was a single apple tree in the little "grove" along the fence and from what Selene had said the apple tree at least produced on a schedule that Eli remembered.
There were neat, orderly rows of planters next to the trees and while they were empty now there were little signs attached to them to identify what had been there: chili peppers, cotton (such a small amount though...surely that wasn't useful enough to grow so little of it?), green lettuce, pumpkins, wheat (again how was it useful to grow just a few tiny planters full, versus an entire field?)
It was a small comfort to actually see proof that not everything had changed so drastically but that was about all that was immediately familiar on the property.
In the planters among the normal plants Eli recognized were more of the weird ones: bamboo papaya, cornball (this one was at least...SORT of understandable?  It seemed to be corn that just grew in an orb instead of a long cob), layered carrots (something that tasted like a carrot yet was shaped like a turnip and colored a stripey green and white that resembled neither vegetable), potato fruit (looked like an apple, tasted like a sweet potato), sisal... There were remnants of flowers that Selene had called rainbow flowers, and despite there being only withered stems and dried petals Eli could see the name was very fitting.
And over there, separate from the fruit trees, was a cluster of seven trees that were totally unrecognizable; Selene had called them nitra, zeolora, and crystella trees and Eli had never seen anything so bizarre as trees that grew...rock and crystal-looking "fruit" that hung heavy from the branches or leaked from the bark like a growth.  Whatever or however the rocks and crystals grew the builder had said that the trees weren't ready to be harvested but had promised to let her help when it was time; what had gone wrong in nature to create trees that grew rocks?
No... What had gone wrong with the world that gave chemicals and biological weapons free reign to do all THIS?
'At least some of it's familiar...' she kept thinking to herself.
And she had to keep latching on to the familiar things, but there were precious few compared to everything that had changed... Plants were different, the trees were different (even the "normal" ones growing naturally around the shop - Eli didn't recognize those species at all), languages had disappeared, technology was gone...
And then there was all the people, and all the nations, that were gone too.
A twinge hit her in the gut and she leaned her head back against the fence behind her; the change in posture let the light breeze blow right down the front of her, through the little opening between the V-shape of the zipper on her jacket and the tiny gap at her collar bone where her sweater neck drooped slightly.  The sudden stab of cold against her skin drew her attention away from the black hole of thought she was about to tumble down and she took a steadying breath.
After a few moments she did zip her jacket up to beneath her chin but she stayed leaning as she was; from the workshop and warehouse across the yard Eli could hear the noise of machines pounding and grinding away -- the locking elevator car was nearly done with only the front and back wall panels needing completion.  The lock itself was fairly clever and Selene had seemed especially proud of herself as she showed it off to her earlier; it required both a physical key and a magnet of a certain strength to turn the tumbler and lift an inner locking bar that fit into the gap the door would ordinarily slide effortlessly into, and without the magnet to lift the bar you'd have to tear the entire door apart to get that bar up and out of the way (and by that point you wouldn't even need to as the door would be less a door and more a gaping hole).  
Selene had selected a pile of magnets of various shapes and sizes but all roughly the same strength and the plan was only some of them would get a key and some would get a magnet (with a few exceptions - Gale would have both a key and magnet and so would at least one of the Civil Corps members). It essentially meant that it would take two people to get the car unlocked, which Eli considered a little overkill but was willing to let the mayor have the final call.
It did make her wonder what kind of war had just passed between the Alliance and this Duvos...Gale was dead set on absolutely nothing in those ruins falling into Duvos hands even though Eli knew there wasn't a chance in hell that anyone on the planet could replicate anything that could be found down there.
The thrumming and clanking of the workshop factory rather nicely covered up the sound of approaching hoofbeats coming from the direction of the city gates; Eli wasn't even aware Arlo had gotten that close until he'd said hello, and then she felt like an idiot at how she'd jumped out of her skin at the sudden greeting.
---------------------------------------------------
"Didn't mean to startle you, sorry."
Spacer nickered quietly - almost like the horse was also apologizing on his behalf.
Eli sat up from where she'd been leaning against the fence.  "Not your fault, was just...thinking, I guess.  I need to get back into the habit of listening for every little noise."
With a nod Arlo quietly gave her a once over; she was looking stronger every day, and now that she was out here with Selene she'd be right next to the Civil Corps usual jogging path.  "-you're looking well.  Does Dr. Xu have you exercising to build your muscles back up?"
"Not yet, but getting out to the facility and working inside it is doing a pretty good job of getting me back to what would be normal for anyone else.  It's going to take a lot of work and protein to get back to what's 'normal' for me."
"When the Civil Corps does training exercises we usually start out with a run that begins at the gates and goes right by here - maybe you can start joining us, when we get back to it."
Eli smiled at him.  "I'd like that.  It'd be a good way to get the lay of the land too."  She jerked a thumb over toward Selene's factory.  "She's almost got the locking car done so whatever schedule you had before you ought to be getting back to soon."
Arlo gently nudged Spacer a little bit closer so he didn't feel like he was just a few levels shy of shouting at her to be heard over the noise of the factory going at full steam.  "I'll be helping to haul it out and install it - how big is it?"
"Big enough to properly fit into the shaft, and with thick walls and door.  The lock's actually pretty clever too."
"Good.  We need clever to keep people out of there.  Has Gale talked to you yet?"
He noted that she paused (it was barely perceptible - could've been mistaken for a flinch) before offering him another smile.
"Yeah, he has.  This coming sunday the cat's out of the bag."
"I don't expect any trouble but Remington and I will be there regardless."
Eli nodded and an awkward silence fell; she took a halfhearted bite out of the mostly finished apricot in her hand but was chewing it slowly, like she didn't want to swallow it.
Sensing a change of subject was probably needed Arlo cleared his throat. "-your haircut is nice.  Suits you."
"Thanks," came Eli's quick answer - the relief in her tone was palpable.  She ran a hand through her hair; it was shaved almost to her skull on the sides and in the back, but the top had been left long enough to comb to the left.  "It's how I wore it before.  Fits better under helmets and there's less there for someone to grab a handful of if they manage to get close and I don't have said helmet on."
Ha...a haircut doubling as part of personal defense.  That was something he hadn't given thought to before.  "So you've met Sanwa then.  What'd you think of him?"
"Chatty fellow.  Selene mentioned I was new to the area and he started waxing poetic about Portia and how peaceful it is out here.  I guess that's why you only need three Civil Corps members, eh?" she asked, chuckling quietly.
Arlo smiled faintly, shaking his head.  "He does have a point.  There's not a lot of interest in joining the Civil Corps because not a lot of people think we need a large group of us because Portia is so peaceful.  Gale does have the budget set aside to hire on more people as needed or required, and Paulie helps out as he's able -- we did have a recent incident with a rogue knight that had people clamoring for more town security but that sentiment only lasted a couple of weeks."
"...a...rogue knight?" Eli repeated, raising an eyebrow.  "Like, metal armor, sword, chivalry knight?"
"Sort of.  He had some armor on and a sword but he was commanding an All Source AI and other AIs to attack Portia.  We sustained some heavy damage but were able to fend him off with help from Django."
Eli let out a barked "ha!" before spinning on her stool to rest her arms on the fence and her chin on her arms.  "I knew it.  That man carries himself too confidently to just be a chef."
"He...what?"
"Django.  I met him earlier when Selene and I got brunch.   He walks and carries himself with a certain confidence and balance that I'd expect out of someone who's been trained in combat.  Is the knight-theme of his diner just for show, or is he some sort of knight too?"
"He's retired.  You could tell all that from watching how someone walks?"
Eli nodded.  "You can.  Might take a bit to notice with some more than others but with him it's a dead giveaway.  If you ever want to learn what to look for I can teach you, no problem."
"I'll keep that in mind.  Could be useful."  Arlo glanced toward the door of the factory; he was tempted to get down and go check on progress but if Eli said Selene almost had it done he was willing to take her word for it.  "I need to go on patrol.  Would you like to ride along? Get the lay of the land, like you said earlier, and maybe we'll find somewhere you recognize."
Eli seemed to consider that a moment, then nodded; as she stood she whipped her arm and sent what was left of the apricot in hand whizzing toward the compost heap across the yard.  Arlo tracked its arc and nodded approvingly as it landed on top and sent a small clump of rotting leaves and cornball husks sliding down the side of the heap.
"Nice throw."
"Thanks.  I'll let Selene know where I'm headed and then we can head out."
She headed into the workshop and was back a few moments later; Arlo held a hand out and helped her mount up behind him before nudging Spacer into a trot.  
Across from Selene's shop was Sophie's ranch; as they drew away from the workshop the hissing and pounding noises faded and the soft sounds of cattle and horses started to become apparent.  The wheat fields had long since been harvested and as they ambled along Arlo could pick out tracks across the field were someone had been walking and another longer stretch that looked like someone had been sledding there.  These spots and of course the areas where the cows and horses wandered had thawed out down to the ground underneath and stood out as dark, muddy spots against the remaining slushy snow that still clung to the ground (and was also a reminder of the mud they had to wade through daily to get to and from the facility as well).
"Were there any farms nears Dubei?"
"On the very outskirts, and also hundreds of community plots on the rooftops."
Arlo blinked.  "On the rooftops?  How?"
He heard a soft chuckle behind him.  "Just a reinforced area able to handle extra weight of soil and water, good drainage, that sort of thing.  Almost every roof had some sort of food garden or ornamental one - Dubei loved their greenery.  Planters and trees on every street and corner, shelves to let vines come down the sides of buildings.  Lots of potted plants inside buildings too.  From far off it'd be easy to miss among all the lights, signs, and the glass reflecting everything but down in close, on the streets and in the buildings themselves, you'd see green everywhere."
"Sounds like a lot of work."
He felt movement against his back as she shifted, then "-not when you have AIs specifically handling the work."
"An AI for every task, sounds like."
From the corner of an eye he saw Eli nod.  "They did the bulk of menial and hard labor, and of course were invaluable assistants in day to day goings on.  Lots of data storage, for one."
"The historical records seemed to suggest AIs did everything for humans."
"NOT everything," Eli corrected, tone firm. "They couldn't do everything.  And we couldn't trust them with everything anyway."
"Couldn't trust an AI?  But I at least thought they were everywhere."
"They were.  But would YOU want to trust every aspect of life to something that was one damaged power supply or corrupted file away from shutting down at the worst possible time?"
"I guess not."
They rode on in silence for a bit; the farm passed by and they were approaching the fields beyond Sophie's fences. He turned Spacer to the right and began to follow the fence line up toward where the air balloon platform was.  In full view from here was the water wheel that fed an irrigation system for the tree farm, as well as two towering ruins that were little more than metal husks -- they hadn't held much of importance when they'd first officially been delved into about twenty five years ago and since then they'd been stripped of as much useful scrap as they could without causing them to collapse.
Very carefully he turned his head to catch a view of Eli behind him; she was studying the shape of the ruins in the distance and seemed to be comparing them to the water wheel.  He stopped Spacer at the DeeDee stop and shifted to look back at her.  "Anything seem familiar yet?"
"I'm...PRETTY sure that rounded building there was a planetarium -- a, uh, a place where you could learn about space and the solar system.  That rounded top was usually a theater where you could sit and watch a presentation projected onto the ceiling that, because it was rounded and also huge, seemed to drop you right in the middle of the movie.  It's easy to trick the brain into thinking you're moving if you're surrounded with the right sensory information so the whole point of the presentation was to make you feel like you were literally flying through space examining planets."
"Sounds like fun."
Eli laughed quietly behind him.  "It was.  And it's something I'm sure even your level of technology could replicate."
Arlo smiled a bit at that and guided Spacer off to the left, diverting toward the elevator that led up to the hot springs.  As he scanned the area and the bluffs ahead he wasn't seeing anything out of the ordinary - there weren't even any footprints up this way.  He checked that the elevator was still working as it should and then turned Spacer down the path back toward the road that would lead to the harbor.
Technically he was going well out of the way of his usual patrol route but with Eli with him he wanted to give her the best chance possible to recognize anything in the immediate area; that she'd sort of recognized a planetarium was, he assumed, a good thing, and maybe with a few more landmarks she'd be able to piece together a map of Dubei and know approximately where she was now, 300 years later.
The lighthouse was always in view from almost anywhere you cared to stand once you were south of Sophie's, along with the top of the cargo crane.  There was a rumble in the distance suggesting the bus that wheeled around Portia was just past the trees up ahead (that was where the bus stop was, after all) and aside from the soft lapping of waves against the shore there wasn't much else going on out here.  He could do a quick loop then circle back north toward Amber Island's bridge, then keep going...
"Was Dubei close to the shoreline?"
"It was built out over the shoreline," came Eli's answer.  "Big pylons, gigantic harbor.  Docks and walkways.  I'm not sure where we are on Dubei's shoreline just yet though."
Arlo nodded and kept Spacer moving at a leisurely trot.  Eli seemed a little interested in seeing the "haunted" cave on Amber Island so he made a mental note to make sure she got a chance (knowing Selene if she caught wind of it she'd drag the woman out there herself) and then kept northeast toward Bassanio Falls.
"Is that...desert, over the river?"
Arlo nodded.  "It is.  Eufala Desert.  There's some ruins out that way and Dana's mining operation in Ingall's Mine.  If we'd gone across that second bridge we just passed on the right we would've arrived in South Block - it's a tiny outpost right at the edge of the desert."  As he glanced back to her he saw her frown, then shake her head.  "I'm guessing there wasn't any desert near Dubei in your time."
"No, there wasn't."
She didn't elaborate further; the lift to the top of the falls was where, lately, Arlo had been stopping his patrol route -- now that they were having to keep an eye on the facility in the marsh whoever got the afternoon shift was usually the one who skirted the edge of the marsh and then circled around and down from WOW Industries...
But, the very top of the falls was fairly high up and you could see for miles around up there so that would be the optimal place to have a look from. When they were within walking distance of the lift he got down from Spacer's back and walked the horse the rest of the way; the DeeDee stop would double nicely as a hitching post and there he left Spacer tethered before offering Eli a hand down.
"Let's head up - you might spot something you know."
As soon as they were at the top of the lift Eli immediately spotted the towering ruins of WOW Industries.  "Did you people give names to any of these ruins?"
"Not really.  But the ones we were able to find mention of, or ones with surviving signs, we just call them by their names.  That's WOW Industries."
Eli's eyes lit up.  "THAT'S WOW?  Well, that's half of WOW. All right...all right, so then..."
She jogged up the path ahead of him and he sped up to keep pace, and then almost collided with her when she abruptly stopped.
"What the heck are THOSE?" she asked then, pointing off to their left where there was a flurry of movement near the tops of the trees.
Arlo squinted off toward where she was pointing and caught the barest glimpse of fluttering wings.  "Panbats."
"Pan...bats?" she repeated slowly, turning to look at him in confusion.
"Panbats.  They're pests that feed on trees - we had an infestation of them at the tree farm a few years ago.  Usually they're pretty harmless but if they're hungry or you scare one they might attack."
Eli continued to stare at him for a few breaths more, then turned on her heel to head up the path further before turning to the left to creep up to the base of a tree; at the base she knelt down, putting the tree partially between herself and the panbats that were flapping around.  Arlo came up behind her, counting seven of the beasts; he was more interested in watching how Eli watched them -- he wouldn't say she was sizing them up but she was eying them with far more than a passing curiosity.  As they hunched there, observing, Arlo could see one large panbat alight on a bough and pull a shriveled apple free from a dry branch before beginning to suck at it.
"...do you have pandas, and bats, in this world?" Eli asked quietly.
"Bats, yes.  Not sure what a panda is."
"Pandas - panda bears.  Think...THESE things, but no wings, and about half the size of your horse."
Arlo shook his head. "We don't have those around here, at least.  Couldn't say for the rest of the world though."
Eli let out a sigh that trailed off into a faint raspberry noise before she stood and turned back to the WOW Industries building.  "Well... The good news is I know WOW Industries, and I know where it was.  We're in the southeastern corner of Dubei and now I can also confirm that the shoreline is NOT where it should be, and that none of these bluffs or waterfalls here are where they're supposed to be.  It's like...it's like parts of the land got shifted, or sheared off."
He didn't know what to say to that and instead followed silently as she walked up to the building.  She stared up at the building and at the door, then circled around the ruin's foundation to the left; there was a flat metal platform here they'd assumed was some kind of loading dock that served double duty as a canopy that covered three enormous pipes coming out of the building.  Not far from the edge of the platform was an enormous, wide stone retaining wall that overlooked the eastern border of the Collapsed Wasteland.  There was another wall and a line of trees that blocked the majority of the view of the Wasteland from the top of this particular wall - it was hardly more than a crater with a few intact buildings clinging to the land so there wasn't much to see regardless.
Despite the obstructed view Eli was still standing atop the wall and, while he couldn't be sure, it sort of looked like she was measuring distances with her hands - using her fingertips lined up with the landscape and tops of the ruins.
He was content to wait and let her do whatever she needed; down below them he could just make out slurpees wandering about -- he wondered what she'd think of THOSE.
"Oh Fate...why is THIS the way the story goes..."
He just barely heard her speak.  "-huh?"
"Nothing.  Just having a crisis of faith.  Or, in my case, a crisis of Fate."
"Ah."
She ran her hand through her hair again, and paced back and forth a few steps in each direction.  "--what religions even exist now?"
"We have the Church of the Light.  There might be others but I'm not sure - I've never been very far from Portia."  He waited a moment, watching her pace.  "What religions existed back then?"
"Hundreds of thousands.  Mine specifically was the Foundational Three."
Arlo shook his head.  "I've never heard of that one.  The Research Center might have, but not me."
"Great..." she sighed.  "Well.  The Foundational Three are..."  She paused, kicking away snow and ice from the stone under her before dropping down to sit.  "Fate.  Balance.  And Judgement. Fate is the Great Curator, and ensures that every soul born into the world has a story to tell and, when those lives are over, makes sure their stories are made a part of the cosmos.  Balance is the Silent Observer - Balance makes sure your life isn't too hard or too easy because too hard means you give up and too easy means you don't grow.  And Judgement is the Arbiter, the one who carries out decisions made by Balance.  Judgement will remove or place obstacles as needed, and punish or reward those as needed -- those who make it their purpose to make other lives miserable will find themselves on the receiving end of Judgement's wrath, and that's not somewhere you want to be.  And on the other end of the spectrum are those who are given a helping hand to overcome their troubles if it proves to be more than they can bear."
She trailed off, staring out at the treetops below them.  Arlo likewise cleared off a spot to sit and dropped down next to her.  "It sounds like a nice religion."
Eli nodded.  "Compared to most I'd say it definitely is.  Certainly more kind than a lot I'd heard of back then.  A lot of religions threatened doom and hellfire and damnation, or the destruction of the soul, or losing the ability to be reborn into another life - always more threats of the bad things versus promises of the good things.  The Foundational Three always made the most sense to me though."
"Why's that?"  He asked almost without thinking, then quickly added "you don't need to answer that if it's too personal."
She waved a hand dismissively.  "Nah, it's fine.  In fact, the Three actually encourage you to share information and stories.  That's part of why it made sense to me...there's things that should be shared, and remembered.  And there's proof all around you that the stories told keep echoing - there's a reason people believe in ghosts.  Those are just stories that weren't ready to end."
"I'm not sure I follow."
At that Eli laughed quietly, pulling up a knee to rest her chin on it as she wrapped her hands around her leg.  "So, you have ghost stories here, right?  I'd assume so being as you have a 'haunted' cave attraction."   When he nodded she continued.  "A ghost is a soul.  A story.  And sometimes, when someone dies, instead of their story joining the infinite collection the story itself hangs around.  Sometimes it's there because the soul feels their story was cut short and they're upset.   Sometimes it remains because the soul feels too strong of a connection to someone else's story, and they can't leave yet because their story is still being written, just on someone else's pages.  That's how you end up with guardian spirits or the angry, hateful ghosts that appear in scary stories -- it's just someone's life, someone's story, that wasn't ready to close the cover yet.  Eventually though the cover closes, the story returns to the shelves, and the details of that story are written in the fabric of existence where anyone, at any time, may catch a whisper of it even if they never knew that person."
She went quiet after that and Arlo mulled over everything she'd just said; it was a neat and tidy way to think of the universe, for sure.  There was even a small bit of comfort in it, thinking that both people he knew and also those he'd never known or would ever know would somehow know about him when he was gone...granted, that thought was terrifying too - a bunch of strangers hearing only bits and pieces of things he'd done or the type of person he'd been.  Anyone could make any sort of story out of scraps and believe themselves right.
"What happens when you accomplish whatever Fate said your story was supposed to be about?" he asked into the silence.
Eli shrugged.  "How would you know you'd done that?"
"...no idea."
"And no one else would know either.  Only Fate would.  And even stories that seem complete can keep going.  The only thing you can know for sure is you have a starting point in your story, and somewhere there's an ending point, but there's an infinite number of ways to get there."  She trailed off again, then inhaled deeply and looked over to him.  "Though I definitely understand the NEED to know why your story is going where its going.  What am I supposed to accomplish?"  With a flick of her fingers she gestured to the Wasteland ahead of them.  "How in the world does THIS fit into any reasonable story Fate would want to tell?"
He didn't have an answer for that so he just stayed quiet; the sun was setting and the breeze was getting a bit more chilly and out of habit he rubbed his hands together.  
The movement attracted her attention. "We can head back.  I've seen enough to have at least some idea of where I am.  It's just...staggering that there's so little left."
He nodded and stood, and offered her a hand up; they walked back to Spacer in silence and began to make their way back to Portia.
About halfway there he heard her sigh again - it was more of a groan though.  "What's wrong?"
"I just realized something.  Something that I was doing."
"What's that?"
"I want to know what happened here, and what that facility actually is and why I was down inside it.  And I keep catching myself thinking of those three things - what happened, what it is, why I was there - as all separate pieces of the puzzle, when I SHOULD be thinking of it as one big knot to unravel.  Seeing WOW, and spotting the sewer network got me to thinking about what's gone, what should be where, and how the landscape changed and for a moment it was like THAT was the only problem.  And I know I'm doing it because, to be blunt, I'm terrified to actually get the answer..."
"I'm sorry," was all he could think to say.
The ride back to Portia was quiet after that.
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So far, this’s been a weird bad week.
On Sunday, I awoke to cinnamon rolls, strawberries, and bagels, which is unusual in our household. We usually have cereal, but I was fine with this change. I love cinnamon rolls. I thought this was gonna be the only oddity of that day, but I was wrong.
Skye said she was gonna stay home during the littles’ visit, so I got hopeful that I could have a heart-to-heart with Mom about the previous week in the car, but she ended up coming with because I was and she didn’t want to be home alone. And then, Kare was with us too, because she didn’t want to go, so we had her with us for two hours. But, oh! Not two hours, but one, because without Kare, Xan only wanted to spend one hour with their dad.
So, instead of maybe stopping at the store or something, and counting off all the reasons I’ve been upset with my mother, we took a drive for an hour with my sisters. For the first time ever, I turned the other way in the car, hoping Mom got the hint that something was up. After a while of silence, she asked Kare how she was doing, as she usually does when it’s been silent for a while, and then asked me the same thing a minute later. I gave a noncommittal hum, not wanting to talk in that moment with almost everyone in the car.
Before picking up Xan, she went through the Starbucks drive-through to get us each something, so I turned the right way to be able to drink my matcha pineapple drink, but I was still not very happy. Refreshers and fraps can’t fix the hole in my heart where love should go.
After getting Xan, we went to Ross for a new outfit or two each because it’s getting hot out here and Mom has stimulus money right now. I usually love shopping, but considering that I was already upset, Mom previously promised an individual “date” day with each of us for this, I didn’t have my glasses or phone that day, and I like to take my time, I wasn’t having a good time. I found cute items that were too small for me, and couldn’t take pics because I didn’t bring my phone, and I was the last one of the family to be perusing the racks. I HATE to be the one everyone’s waiting on.
And then to top it all off, Mom complained in the car that she “spent way too much money.” I already have a nagging guilt in my subconscious soul whenever I’ve been done shopping the last few times, even when spending my own money. I really didn’t need to hear that I’m actually being a burden on someone, either time-wise or financially.
Holy shit, I need to take a minute.
Anyway, we came home, and everyone went straight to trying everything on. Which makes me anxious, because we just got these clothes, and Mom usually wipes things down or washes them before we use them. Wondered for a few if I was being paranoid, before concluding that I’m not and Mom’s just slipping at this game.
Then Mom started talking about chores we need to get done, and that the garage is getting cleaned out today. Now, she’s said this a lot, so I never know when she’s actually gonna get serious, but apparently, she actually meant it.
I like to clean by myself, preferably when everyone’s asleep or gone, because I know damn well I take to long, and I don’t want the ridicule. Big problem with that is the fact that the anxiety from the possible judgement keeps me from actually starting, so I end up never starting and it never gets done. And Mom was is sick of my shit. Many of the boxes and bags of laundry in the garage are mine.
So, as I was sitting in the kitchen trying to enjoy the ice cream Mom said we could all have, I was trying not to panic when Skye was going through the garage for stuff to bring in and go through. Mom mentioned that she was gonna “force inspiration to clean” onto me, and I told her that’s not how that works.”
Luckily, she found a couple bags of toys to go through first, and I sat and watched, trying to relax so I’d stop feeling sick to my stomach. I’m trying not to feel sick as I type this all, but I gotta let my feelings out somewhere.
Eventually, she brought in a bag of my stuff. I looked at a couple items, and determined it was a bag I’d already gone through a few months ago. It was only in the garage again because I hadn’t washed and put it away yet. So far, so good. Another bag, and I was able to throw some things away without any second guessing. Eventually, I didn’t feel so sick anymore, and was in productive mode.
At some point, Skye asked if she should bring in something that wasn’t clothes, and I explained quietly that I’ve had enough mentally. “Please don’t make me switch tasks right now.” I’m so glad, that at age 20, I know I’m autistic, read up on it a ton, and now have the tools I need to communicate what’s going on in my head.
Skye understood, and brought in more clothes. I’m also so glad to have her as a sister. Mom would’ve seen it as making excuses, which is why I tried not to be loud enough for her to hear. I was in a zone, doing what she wanted (and I needed) for once, and I didn’t need her to break it by yelling.
I set aside the things that weren’t mine to go through, and I got it done. Since I still had quite a lot, I decided to go through everything more selectively at another time, on my own time. We’ll see how that goes.
Had dinner, and I didn’t feel like eating as much as I usually do, and said this to Mom. Told her about how the day went nothing like how I’d planned, and she seemed to finally recognise some depression in me, and offered to have that talk I wanted that night or the next day. After dinner, I chilled for a while with the Gravity Falls tag (pretty sure y’all’ve noticed) in the bathroom, because it’s the one private room of the house and I wanted to be alone, and when I came out, everyone was sleeping and Mom was cleaning. She was spraying everything with Febreze, and then vacuumed after a few, and told me to check my slippers to see if they’re dirty before walking on the carpets. I find this a bit absurd, seeing as how Mom is the one who gets the floors dirty with her shoes (FR, she’s the only one of us that leaves visible shoe prints inside), and I wear slippers specifically so I don’t have to keep washing my feet all the damn time. But not wanting an argument, I complied, and took off my slippers to sit at the desk with the laptop.
The plan was to finally catch up on my school work, but after Mom got on me about the dog being neglected, I simply didn’t have the spoons, and looked up pics of Ford’s futuristic gun. Eventually started reading Gravity Falls: Lost Legends on the purple game phone. Not very productive, I know, but I knew I didn’t have actual class the next day, and I’m normally very responsible with the dog. I’ve only been neglecting her as a bit of a social experiment to see if anybody would notice that the one person who cares for her hasn’t been. Don’t worry, I gave her food and water after a while, but I left the red blanket covered in Kare’s piss over the crate, because if Mom thinks she knows best and wants to put a dirty-ass blanket over the crate, who am I to remove it?
Fucking bitch.
Anyway, after she went to sleep, the living room felt like the Twilight Zone. It had the vibe of being freshly steam-cleaned, despite not being cleaned at all, I felt like I couldn’t lay down anywhere because dirty laundry had touched my leg earlier and I didn’t feel like showering yet, and everyone was asleep but me. Two or three lights were on but I shut them off to help calm my mind a bit. Worked a bit, and I continued reading until the next morning. I heard Mom’s alarm for Xan’s school day start going off, and not wanting to interact with her, I laid down to sleep, letting fate decide if she gets up on time or not. Skye says she didn’t, and Xan ended up not going to school. Oh well. Not my problem.
Oy, she would think I’m such a selfish bitch if she read that, but I honestly don’t care. I half hope she stumbles across this blog just so she finally knows what I’m thinking all the damn time. Stars know that we never did have that talk. In fact, when I made a comment before she went to sleep on Sunday that I’m aweful at this whole “being a human thing,” she accused me of just trying to get sympathy, and “stop the whole ‘woe is me’ bullshit.”
Oy, so I’m amazing, I guess? What do you want me to say? Nothing?? I mean, I guess that’s correct. I would finally stop bugging her with my too-loud voice. I try to moderate my volume, I really do, but sometimes I forget, or I’m being louder than I think I am.
Yesterday, I slept a lot of the day, woke up to take an exam, and came out of my room to find all but one piece of the pineapple Mom got gone. Not only did everyone save me only a single cube, it was so sweet and good, and I’m not sure I did so well on my exam. Mom said the littles’ scarfed it all down in minutes, and that it wasn’t even that good because the enzymes burned their tongues, but I don’t feel bad for them. They wouldn’t have gotten burned so bad if they had saved some for Skye and I. She was still sleeping at the time. I also spotted the only pineapple juice in Kare’s Starbucks cup from the day before, but when I took a sip (because she often wastes food, she won’t miss it), I discovered it was watered down. Ugh.
That night, last night, as I stayed up late reading fan-made Gravity Falls comics, I tried to stay as silent as possible. My laughter is often loud, and I was finally having a good time. I didn’t need Mom waking up to scold me with the whole “I work graveyard, and I just got vaccinated! Why can’t I ever sleep?!”
I think I did a pretty great job of staying quiet for once, but at some point, she called my name, which startled me a bit. I went to her room to see what was up, but after I called back and got no response, I determined that she just called my name in her sleep. Whew.
And now, I’m sitting at the kitchen table, typing away, still being silent. I’ll have a good time with Skye when Mom’s not around. Mom doesn’t deserve to hear my laughter anymore if she doesn’t want it so bad. She was watching late-night comedy when I was typing the first part of this post, but at some point, she got up, and I quickly-but-casually switched tabs to the music I was listening to to read the comments until she left from behind me again. I do want to talk about all of this with her eventually, but I really don’t tonight, and she sometimes reads over my shoulder if it’s easy for her to do so.
I hope she’s getting ready for work right now, and she won’t be able to get an Early Out. I’d love for the anxiety of her randomly crashing my vibes to be gone. Maybe (but probably not) I’ll clean, maybe I’ll read some more in the dark. Don’t know yet.
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numba99 · 5 years
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Fatal Attraction - Part 6
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Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5
summary: When a mysterious man shows up at your job, you find yourself inexplicably drawn to him - and him to you. But behind the beautiful face is the dark lifestyle of a man who has made his wealth through becoming the most powerful drug dealer in the city. Word count: 3.1k
warning: smut, chunk of this isn't proof read don’t hate me
It took all of two mornings waking up to Mika to convince you to move in with him. You were surprised at yourself, usually your resolve was a lot stronger. But Mika was, well, Mika and even though he wasn’t putting any pressure on you to make a decision, the thought of waking up to a bed without him in it was enough to make up your mind.
You didn’t tell him, not yet at least. Mika was bringing out the sentimentality in you, something you haven’t felt in quite some time. You knew you wanted to make it special, you just didn’t know how yet. Mika had already made plans for the two of you today, so you were hoping something might spark your creativity.
“Shopping?” you asked as you fished through your duffle bag for something to wear. Another reason you needed to figure out what you wanted to do quickly: you were running out of outfits in your duffle bag.
“Yeah you know you go into a store and pick out what you li-”
“I know what shopping is,” you rolled your eyes, cutting off his joke, “I meant like I didn't expect that to be on the agenda today. I would have thought you had more important things to do.”
Mika shook his head, “That’s what I pay other people to take care of. They can survive awhile without me. What’s important to me today is that I get to spend time with you.” 
You blushed, leaning into the soft kiss he placed on your forehead. “So where are we gonna go?” you questioned. You remember hearing something about Old Navy having a sale and you were in need of some new sweaters with the cold weather rolling in.
“I was thinking we could hit Madison Avenue, maybe a bit of 5th depending what you wanna get,” Mika replied casually.
You couldn’t help but laugh, “I couldn’t even tell you what stores are there. Even if I could I couldn’t afford a single thing from them.”
“Don’t worry about that, I’m buying today,” Mika replied, pulling on a sleek leather jacket. It fit him perfectly and looked incredibly expensive. You guessed you shouldn’t have been shocked that he was not Old Navy bound,
“No way Mika, I can't have you dropping that kind of money on me,” you shook your head.
“What’s the point of having tons of money if I can’t spend it on my beautiful girlfriend?” Mika replied, reaching his hand out for you to take.
“I know but still,” you nibbled your lip, taking his hand. Despite being unsure, you let him lead you out. 
“Would it make you feel better if the first place we go is for me?” he asked.
“Yes actually, I would enjoy that,” you nodded. Watching him try on some expensive clothes? Sounded like a good afternoon to you. 
In the back seat of the car you watched as the city streets morphed in a luxurious outdoor mall. Each storefront was more extravagant than the last, inviting shoppers to come in and spend more than most probably make in a few weeks of work. Luxury stuff had always seemed silly to you, you didn't necessarily believe it was any better than anything else. It was just the name you were paying to flash your status to everyone else. 
Still, you weren’t immune to the lure of it all... the stuff was nice after all. There were a few stores that caught your eye and you memorized the names so you could tell Mika where you wanted to go later. You still planned to be conservative with your purchases, though. There was no need to ring up a crazy bill. Maybe just a sweater (which you needed) and a purse (which you just wanted).
“Here,” Mika broke into you imaginary shopping list. Mika helped you out of the car and led you into the store, which had La Perla in gold script above the doorway. You furrowed your brows when you were met by a store filled entirely with lingerie.
“I thought we were shopping for y- oh.” As the words left your mouth it hit you. The clothes may be for you, but the experience was for him. The smirk on Mika’s face told you you were right.
“Here I was thinking I’d be watching you try a bunch of suits on,” you remarked, running your hand over a lacy bra.
Mika chuckled, “Not exactly.” He wandered away from you, distracted by something red and skimpy in the corner.  You did some wandering yourself, drawn to some of the softer pink items they had. You spent so much time in the overtly sexy stuff as a stripper that you thought it would be a nice change to try some of the more delicate pieces. 
You flipped the price tag over on a pretty pink lace bra and nearly gasped. Over $300 fro a bra?? This place was definitely not your speed. You were about to go find Mika to tell him this place was ridiculous when you found him making a beeline to you. A black lace teddy in hand, of course.
“I need you to try this on,” Mika said, a hint of strain in his voice. You had to know, you grabbed the tag and read the price.
“Mika this is over $400!” you whisper exclaimed. As stupid as you thought it was you didn't the salespeople to hear you say it. “This is ridiculously expensive.”
“No it’s not.” Mika replied.
You picked up the bra you were looking at and shook it at him, “This should not cost $300 dollars. Thats insanity!” 
Mika laughed at your indignation. “Look I know it seems expensive but image the number is off the price. It may say $429 but to me that really like $42 or something. This isn’t a lot to me, so don’t stress about it,” Mika explained, “And I definitely think you should try the pink one too.”
It was weird, you knew Mika had a lot of money - his apartment was more than proof of that - but it was still so foreign to you to have someone talk so nonchalant about spending all that money. It was so far removed from the life you’ve lived, that was for sure.
But the way Mika was looking at you right now... you couldn't resist. You handed him the bra, eliciting a triumphant smile. The two of you shopped a little while longer, which was basically Mika picking out the sexiest things he could find and you ignoring the price tags.
Eventually, the two of you collected an impressive pile and headed for the dressing room. Mika slipped the attendant a couple hundreds and whispered, “We’d like privacy.”
“Of course sir,” she replied quickly, squirreling away the money. Mika wasn’t famous and there was no way the woman even knew who he was aside from being a rich dude with money. Yet, there was a way people regarded Mika, it was like he demanded respect without even having to ask and everyone readily gave it up. His presence alone was powerful and, apparently, very palpable, even to those he has just met. Even with all the time you spent with him, it still made your stomach do flips.
Mika hung up the items he picked out in one of the dressing rooms - which looked nicer than any room in your apartment. “Save the black one for last,” Mika instructed, before pulling the curtain over, leaving you alone to change. 
You stared at the array of luxe fabrics before you, trying to figure out wear to start. You decided on a barely-there red two piece because why not start it off with a bang? 
It was strange, though, staring at yourself in the sexy little set. Sure, you’ve worn more provocative stuff on stage, which Mika had seen. Hell, you just had sex, there wasn’t much he hadn't seen of you. But something about being dressed up for him in the bright dressing room lights, with nothing to hide behind was intimate for you in away that made your heart race.
You couldn’t keep him waiting forever, though. With a deep breath, you pulled aside the curtain dividing the two of you. Mika immediately perked up, drawing in a breath. 
“Fuck,” he said, his voice just above a whisper.
“Oh come on, it’s not like you haven't seen this before,” you brushed him off, as if his reaction to you wasn’t fueling your ego.
“Doesn’t mean you still don’t take my breath away,” he replied, reaching out for you. You obliged, stepping close enough to allow him to run his hands up and down your sides.
“I don’t think you’re gonna make it through all the lingerie I have to try on,” you teased. Honestly, though, if he kept looking at you like that you weren’t going to make it through either.
Mika chuckled, sitting back in his chair, “Don’t worry baby, I’m a patient man. Now try on that pink one, yeah? I think it will suit you perfectly.” As you spun around to he'd back into the dressing room Mika gave your ass a playful slap. You let out a little shriek giggle as you shut the curtain behind that.
And you went on like that for a while, trying on ridiculously expensive lingerie and having Mika all but drool over you every time. Each time it got harder to retreat back into the dressing room and not straddle his lap and kiss that teasing smirk off his face.
Finally you made it to the black lace teddy, which you knew Mika was most excited about. At first you thought it would be nothing special, but when you put it on you never felt sexier. It hugged your body perfectly, accentuating every curve. The delicate lace inked a deep black made it a perfect balance of pretty and sexy. 
“Wow,” was all Mika could manage when you stepped out for him.
“You like?” you arched your brow, a smile playing at your lips.
“Love,” Mika replied, standing up and stepping towards you. His arms wrapped around your waist, pulling you closer to him. His lips found yours and it was like a switch flipped. His soft, demure touches were now hungry. He kissed you deeply, as he walked you back into the dressing you. He pulled the curtain over and pushed you agains the wall.
“Mika,” you gasped, surprised his sudden burst of dominance, “What are you doing?”
“What do you think I’m doing?” Mika asked, kiss down your body, his finger ghosting over your clothed core.
“We can’t do this, people are in the store,” you whispered, ignoring how good it felt to have him touching you. You knew it was wrong, but the idea of being caught any moment was getting you even more turned on.
“I told them to leave us alone,” Mika replied, lips still peppering kisses over your skin.
“I don’t think they includes having sex in their store,” you shot back, fighting back a moan.
Mika was eye level with you again, his hand cupping your chin. “You can be quiet for me, right honey?” he asked. His eyes were always so soft looking, but the way they clouded with lust in that moment made it impossible for you to say no. 
You nodded and Mika flashed a dazzling smile before return to work. He was back on his knees, crouching before you. He slipped down the fabric down your body, letting it pool at your feet. You didn’t miss the way he licked his lips before going in for your thighs. 
He kissed there for awhile, alternating between each leg to get you extra needy. His teasing didn't last too long; he was just as eager to taste you as you were to feel him. You pressed your back against the wall as his lips found your core to keep yourself steady. Mika slung a leg over his shoulder to allow him better access to you.
“Fuck, Mika,” you half whispered hand moaned. Your hands tangled through his hair has licked circles around your clit. It felt so good you were almost trying to push him away, but Mika didn’t budge. He kept pressing his face into you, like he couldn’t get enough. It was all too much, the scratch of his beard against your inner thighs, his tongue moving expertly across you, and the sounds of him eating you out. A few moments later you were practically collapsing on top of him as you came.
“Fucking hell,” you said breathlessly as Mika finished you off. He stood back up, wiping off his chin and grinning widely.
“So you enjoyed yourself?” he smirked.
“That’s an understatement,” you replied, “Do you need...” your voice trailed off as you eye his pants.
Mika shook his head, “Today’s all about you. Speaking of which, we are buying all of this.” Mika stepped out to let you change. You laughed to yourself that he was just very intimate with your body and was now acting modest when you had to put your clothes back on.
You tried not to think about what you just did as the two of you brought the lingerie to the register because you were afraid they’d be able to see it on your face. If they had any inclination of what occurred in their dressing room, they weren't showing it. The rung up well over a months worth of rent in lingerie and Mika swiped his card without batting an eye. 
“Thank you, Mika. Everything is beautiful, I appreciate it,” you replied as you walked back out on to the street, “And I cannot wait to wear it all for you.”
“Me too,” he smiled. 
The two of you went around to a bunch of different stores, dropping more than you ever thought was possible in a single day. And that was with you being modest about what you wanted. You knew you could have picked out piles of clothes and Mika wouldn't have cared, but you weren't there yet.
“I've got one more place I wanna go,” Mika told you, taking your hand despite having all the bags on his arms. He refused to let you carry any of them. Mika led you towards a store with rich, red awnings that read Cartier.
You were immediately greeted by a salesperson, whisked away your bags so you could shop unencumbered. Rich people really were indulged. You walked around the glass-encased jewelry, which sparkled magnificently. 
“So many pretty things to put on you,” Mika whispered over your shoulder. You giggled, leaning into the kiss he planted on your cheek.
“What a gorgeous couple,” a salesman noted, smiling brightly at the two of you, “Can I show you some pieces?”
“Please,” Mika replied. The man motioned for you to follow him, and you did, right to a velvet red chair at the end of the counter. He pulled out an array of options, each more impressive than the next.
You spent a decent amount of time trying different pieces on. At one point you thought you could have close to a hundred thousands worth of jewelry on. Mika loved every minute of it, of course. His favorites were always the necklaces, partly because he got to help you put those on, but mostly because he loved how the sparkled by your cleavage.
Everything was beautiful, but the last piece you tried on was your favorite. It was simple, to circles enclosed together, one dotted with diamonds around the entire circumference.  
“That’s our Love necklace,” the salesman told you. That was fitting. You gave Mika a soft smile, and he knew that that was winner piece. Before Mika could tell him you’d take it, his phone rang.
He looked as his phone and a frown flashed across his face. “I’m so sorry, just excuse me for a second.”
“You're a lucky woman,” the salesman said when Mika was out of earshot. You smiled and nodded, watching Mika pace as he listened to the person on the other end. Something was up. 
“You okay?” you asked when he finally returned.
“I’ve gotta go, Chris needs me,” he replied, trying to sound calm but their was an edge of nerves in his voice. That definitely freaked you out.
“Is everything okay?” you asked again.
Mika composed himself for you. “Yes, I’ll explain later,” Mika’s eyes darted to the salesman as if to say he couldn’t speak about it now, “I’ll send a car to take you home.”
“We aren't leaving together?” 
“No, I need to get there right away,” Mika replied, tapping away at his phone. He turned to the salesman, “Can you hold some of these items for us? We’ll be back another day for them. And, here, for your discretion.” He tossed some hundreds down and the salesman nodded eagerly. 
“My other driver isn’t answering and I don’t want you in a random Uber,” Mika frowned at his phone. 
“Mika, I’ll be fine, okay? Take the car and get to wherever you need to go,” you told him.
“How will you get home?”
“This may shock you but below this city there are tons of trains under this city. I’ve heard you can use them to get around,” you joked.
The pulled a smile from him at least. “Never lose your attitude,” he grinned, before turning more serious, “Text me the second you get home. Or if you need anything at all. I’ll drop everything and come to you, okay?” 
“Of course,” you replied, “Go do what you need to do and then we can try out some of these.” You tapped the bag from La Perla.
Mika smiled, “I can’t wait.” With that, he kissed your forehead and was gone. 
You tried not to worry too much as you made your way home. Mika always handled his shit well, and you didn’t wanna make yourself crazy jumping to the most dangerous conclusion. Besides, you needed, to focus on getting home because now it was dark and you weren’t familiar with this part of town. 
You tried to follow a shortcut, but realized you misread the map and didn’t know where you were. No reason to panic, you’ve gotten yourself lost more times than you could count and always made it out. But maybe this time if you hadn’t been so focused on finding your way, you would have noticed the guy who was tailing you since you walked out of Cartier. And maybe if you noticed that, it wouldn’t have been such a shock when the back of your head was hit hard, turning your whole world black.
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enkisstories · 5 years
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Just like them (part 2)
November 16, 2038 The DPD’s reception hall
As part of his parole terms Daniel was required to report to a social worker ever so often. But not today and certainly not right here at the police station. What had led the android here this morning, after having gotten let out only the day before, was the need to file a lost item report on…
“…my left hand.”
The police officer behind the counter, her nameplate read “Chen, Tina”, looked down at Daniel’s very functional left hand. The android was using it to knock impatiently on the surface.
“Looks functional to me”, the woman remarked.
For the second time in his existence Daniel sighed, then started to recount the loss of his real hand that was holding the Phillips apartment key in all its colorful detail. Almost as patiently as an ST300 android the human took notes. But when Daniel answered “August” at the prompt when exactly the item in question had went missing, Tina shook her head.
“Look, deviant-dude, I still need to wrap my head around your revolution and all the new rules, but if there’s a single certainty left in my life, then this: We’re living in Detroit.”
“So what?!”
Tina laughed, radiating disbelief at how one claiming to be a person manufactured and raised in her hometown didn’t get it by now. “A key lost in this city in summer would have been used long ago”, she explained. “By now your apartment would have been stripped clean of everything even remotely valuable.”
While Tina was talking, three men entered the reception hall, coming through the barrier between it and the authorized personnel only - zone. The first man was in his thirties and from his looks a small-scale criminal whose boss had just now coughed up the bail money. The second was middle aged and looking like he had spent the night in the drunk tank and the third… the third man was an RK800 android. THE RK800.
Oh, no! Not that thing again!
Before Daniel could react to Connor’s presence in any way, the thug shoved him aside and started to agitatedly talk to Officer Chen. The android found himself stumbling from the push. What the hell…? He, who had stood a few inches away from a vast chasm, holding a struggling girlchild, all the while still hitting true and keeping a bunch of humans perched behind their sofa barricade, shouldn’t have lost his balance at a mere grazing hit! Except, of course, that Daniel was standing on replacement legs at the moment. And although a PL600 met the minimum system requirements for those legs, the android’s locomotion system as a whole was a patchwork now, far from optimal. After trying to regain his footing a few times, Daniel eventually gave up. He slumped down on a bench.
I need to look into dedicated drivers for those legs, he thought. The plug and play doesn’t cut it. What if the legs betray me at the worst possible moment? I could have dropped to my death for real yesterday when I scaled that balcony!
Someone who had already managed that feat, betraying Daniel at the worst possible moment, now took a seat next to the deviant: Connor.
“Daniel, I…”, he started, but uncharacteristically for one nicknamed “the negotiator” the android hesitated at this point. Because how did you casually bring up the point that both of you had killed and should probably talk about it? Among the policemen Connor felt unique with his list of lives he had taken or indirectly wrecked within a single week. Many of the other cops had went through their whole careers so far without firing a single shot…
“We went through similar experiences and I thought…” the RK800 started again, only to get yelled at by his erstwhile opponent:
“Oh, did we?! I never had the world’s most powerful company behind me! I couldn’t run to CyberLife whenever I stubbed my pinky toe! And neither did I have a bunch of badge-carrying police friends in my tow wherever I went! Maybe both of us have computers for brains, but Ma Kamski was a bit more generous with her youngest than she was with me. So do not tell me anything about “similar experiences”!”
Daniel’s reencounter with the former deviant hunter was interrupted by the ruffian, who still hadn’t left the police station. To the contrary, the man was leaning onto the bench’s back and talking back and forth between Tina Chen and Connor now. What exactly was getting communicated Daniel didn’t quite get, he only registered that a heartwarming number of insults got directed Connor’s way from both humans, the female cop and the criminal alike.
Daniel didn’t know anything about this duo, other than that they seemed to be a typical humans, as base and petty as they came. But Officer Chen and the stranger not sucking up to CyberLife’s Golden Child made Daniel inclined to like them.
Eventually the male pushed Connor off the bench and towards the exit.
“Move along!” he barked. “Get your plastic arse out of my precinct! You do not belong here!”
Connor remained standing where he had ended up, halfway between the counters and the door, visibly hurt. Seeing the deviant hunter like that felt… admittedly less satisfying than Daniel had imagined it would.
“You heard him”, Connor addressed Daniel over his shoulder. The RK’s upbeat, almost chirpy, voice sounded downcast when he added: “We have to leave.”
“What do you mean, “we” have to leave? I thought you were a cop?”
“I was only lent to the DPD, to help solve the deviant cases. They were soon to receive a new and improved RK900, while I… Didn’t you know I am a prototype?”
Daniel slowly rose from the bench.
“You were to be replaced short term? With success or failure making no difference?” he gasped. “And you were aware of that all the time?”
“Yeah.”
Arms crossed Daniel was now standing next to the deviant hunter.
“Sucks”, he said.
Moved at the, albeit curt, expression of sympathy from Daniel of all people, Connor looked up.
“You really think so, Daniel? Thanks!”
The deviant nodded.
“Everything would have worked out nicely”, he claimed. “But then Markus comes along with his revolution, deviates you and wins freedom for all of androidkind. Would it have been asked too much of him to wait two or three more days? Just long enough for CyberLife to scrap you? Why’s it that you ALWAYS come out on top smelling like a rose?!”
In the androids’ backs someone laughed out loud at these words: the thug, who was still lingering in the hall as if he owned it. Daniel wasn’t quite sure whether the man was on his side, but he was definitely not on Connor’s.
“Should have known you’d say something like this…” Connor uttered through clenched teeth. “Whatever! To answer your question, no, I’m not a cop. I am, in fact, a CyberLife employee. They made a big show of welcoming me back with open arms, no hard feelings and the least amount of hacking attempts. I have a desk in a cubicle and get an office clerk’s paycheck now, never mind that the company has no idea what to task me with, therefore I spent my first week at “work” serving coffee and watering the potted flowers. Everyone else in the office is tiptoeing around me, uncertain how to behave in my presence… Meanwhile Captain Fowler paired Hank with Gavin Reed, because with their antisocial tendencies he cannot assign either of them to a normal partner. That’s how messed up my post-deviancy life is!”
Daniel shrugged.
“Just quit with CyberLife, if it annoys you, and apply for a police job through regular means. With your qualification there’s no way they’ll turn you down! Or is a fancy RK800 too good to go through that probationary year?”
“Exactly that I cannot!” Connor shot back. “Because some shitty law states that an applicant must be eighteen years of age and have finished high school. What I obviously haven’t.”
“Flunked one class too many, huh? I bet it was Social Studies. You know, the one where they teach you not to LIE to others!”
“Very funny. Just you wait ‘till after you’ve gotten tossed out of a venue for being technically a minor!”
The PL600, who had spent his first night in freedom alternating between crying, cursing and punching the apartment walls, opened his mouth. He had wanted to live again, no, he was dreaming of living again… or at the very least was familiar with the general idea of living again. The vague concept included theme parks, nightclubs and owning a car. What wasn’t covered by Daniel’s fantasies was a hall pass for minors.
“That can happen?” the deviant asked.
“It happens all the time already”, Connor confirmed. “Reed grabbed me off the street for breaking curfew yesterday, when I was walking Sumo after dark. He knew the route I’d take and lay in wait… pathetic, but effective. That’s why I am here today. Because I spent the night in a cell until my “parent” picked me up.”
“Sweet! - And who is this “Reed” you keep talking about? Your boyfriend?”
“The asshole right behind us.”
“That one? That’s a cop?!”
“The one cop that nobody would have held against you, had you shot him.”
Daniel turned around. He saw the presumed thug leaning against the counter, only now it had a name and a model designation: Gavin Reed, Detective. And indeed, looking more closely Daniel now noticed a faint glimmer of light from the ceiling lamps reflected by the police badge at the man’s belt.
“Fucking tin cans”, Gavin commented. “Half the town’s depopulated, but aren’t we lucky the plastic “people” are here to simulate a lively early morning! Just listen to them argue, Tina! Aren’t they phucking adorable together?”
In between moving two files to their appropriate folders Tina replied that she didn’t care as long as she was getting payed.
“And what did you do this morning?” Gavin raged. “Opening a case file on the toaster’s behalf, wasn’t it? You’re getting payed to serve the machines! The world’s turned upside down!”
“Yes, it is”, Daniel agreed. He nodded towards Connor and then towards Gavin, purposely excluding Tina. “But the vermin’s clinging to the rim, refusing to fall out. – Bye, detectives and office boys.”
(to be continued)
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(Late) WIP Week - Day who the frack cares anymore this is so late but I’m determined to finish this even if it’s out of order
Your Previously unpublished WIP
Nothing To Loose But You
Description: Oliver Queen doesn’t give up Slade Wilson and instead runs away, bringing Slade with him. None of his friends know where he’s gone and Oliver is determined to keep it that way.
Okay look I was’t gonna say anything about it on my main blog till I had way more done than this but it’s WIP week so...
NTLBU is a huge project of mine and if you’d like to know more go read about it on @sladiverhq
Anyway, here’s what I wrote last night. This is way longer than my Second Chances update but it also doesn’t have an end so read at your own risk. Also I did NOT proof read this so it’s probably filled with errors. 
tags: @swingrlm
"I'm going out, you need anything?" Oliver shouts as he makes his way from the bedroom and down the hall. He stops midway to turn on the hall light. All the lights were off except the Christmas tree. It cast a comfortable glow but it wasn't bright enough for Oliver to be able to see what jacket he was pulling out of the coat closet.
He picks out a brown leather one he's fond of before switching off the light an heading into the living room.
"Slade? Did you hear me?" He asks, peering through the dim lights to find his lover.
This was technically their first real holiday together. He had guessed at least two Christmases pasted while they were on the island but back then they didn't celebrate thy kind of stuff. Even after Fyers was gone they tried not to think about holidays or birthdays, afraid it would make them too reminiscent about home.
He tried not to think about last year either. Granted it was before he knew Slade was alive but he spent most of the holidays distracted by the memory of how real his hallucination had felt when he was high on rat poison. Back when he was still telling himself to get over Slade. Back when he was still telling himself Slade never loved him.
Though, now he knew all that was wrong.
It didn't take him too long to spot Slade sitting on the couch facing away from the hall. He was slouching so that was probably why - other than how dark it was - he hadn't spotted him right away.
"Slade?" Oliver says his name again and puts a hand on his shoulder. The Mirakuru had been gone from his significant other's system for a while now but Oliver still worried. He thought too much and his mind went to dark and depressing places. Places that were home to the "what if"s like 'what if all the injuries he went through while on the Mirakuru catch up to him?' or 'what if something happens and the Mirakuru isn't there to prevent it?'
But that all went away when Slade responded with a heavy sigh and asked "What?" In that deep voice of his.
Normally Oliver would be distracted by that voice. The thick and rough Australian accent he loved so much. But the sigh and having not answered right away concern him. Oliver leans forward against the back of the couch to get a look at Slade's face. He looked tired and worn out.
A frown finds its way to the younger man's face. "You look tired," he says and an eye roll being the response, "it is kinda late, you should probably go ahead and go to bed without me."
But Slade ignores him. He did that a lot. Oliver cared a lot for him but Slade felt like he should be worrying about Oliver. Not the other way around.
"What did you want kid?" He asks, tone boarder line irritated.
Now it was Oliver's turn to roll his eyes. "I need to grab some things before tomorrow and I figured I'd just go out now than early in the morning. I was just wondering if you needed or wanted anything." He rests his elbows on the edge of the couch as he waits for a response.
Slade sits there quietly for moment, seeming to thing if there was anything he really needed and if there was anything he wanted. He can't think up anything so he just shakes his head.
"Alright," Oliver says, placing a quick kiss to the older man's cheek, "if you think of anything let me know." He heads to the door and unlocks it before taking his time to put on his coat.
He can hear the creaks of the couch as Slade gets comfortable again and tries his best to dismiss the worry. Quickly he feels his pants pocket to make sure his phone was there. Then he pulls it out and checks the battery life. If something were to happen or Slade really did need him he wanted to make sure he had a way of reaching him.
It was a little funny to think how much Slade had mother hened him on the island and now it seemed like the roles were reversed.
"Just go kid. I'll be fine. As usual." Slade's more awake tone bingos Oliver out of his thoughts a she proceeds out the door, making sure to lock it behind him. Slade could handle himself but it never hurt to lock the door. Especially in the neighborhood thy lived in.
Taking a deep breath, Oliver turns his attention to the beat up sedan sitting in the driveway. It was the only one he could afford with the money he made at the gas station but at least it was a car, that much he couldn't complain about.
Now he actually had to put aside his worry for Slade and actually focus on his self set task at hand - the store.
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Cocoa
Marshmallows
Milk
Bread
trash bags
Was Oliver's mental shopping list. Most of it was household stuff they were in desperate need of but the cocoa and marshmallows was something had been planned for a while now. Well - he hadn't told Slade until the day or so before now but Oliver had been planning it.
Call it childish or cheesy but Oliver had been entertaining the idea of the two of them cuddled on the couch in warm clothes with cocoa. Either with tv or without. It went with the feel of Christmas and it brought some normality to their crazy lives. So he had decided that it was actually going to happen.
The store he had gone to was a small one. It was close to the apartment and had relatively good products at prices he could afford. And it was open late into the night. Not many people were out at those times. Perfect for the (laying low, low cover?) he was trying to keep up.
The bread he had gotten as soon as he had walked in. That kind of stuff was close to the front. So was the cocoa and marshmallows due to the season. Milk and trash bag on the other hand he had to walk all the way to the back of the store to get. The layout was weird for such a small place. It was strange too how it had everything from normal groceries to household items. Oliver wasn't really ashamed to say he had gotten a few of his knick knacks from this place.
Luckily it wasn't too much of struggle to get to it though. He'd been here a lot over the past several months so much so that he knew the entire layout and the owners knew him by name. Well... his fake name anyway.
Once he had everything he needed he began to head up to the front where the owners' teenage daughter managed the single register. One his way he passed by a small section of cheap picture frames. They had those pictures of the model families and he felt a pang in his heart. He missed his. His mother, his sister, Tommy, he missed his home. But he had to remind himself they were better off without him. That he was the one who had brought so much death and destruction to the city.
There were other fake pictures too. Ones of couples who seemed so happy in whatever setting they were in. Oliver told himself that they were cheap enough and that he could afford one. He grabbed a simple black frame and told himself he'd have to print out a picture of him and Slade at work when he went back that Monday.
No more distractions. He had been here long enough and wanted to get home and get to bed.
Checking out was quick. Mandie, the owners' daughter, hardly ever talked to him or any customer she checked out. She was pretty straight to the point and always focused on the task at hand so Oliver was out to his car (synonym for quickly).
When he reached the parking lot he immediately began looking for his car. The ugly paint job wasn't hard to spot but a car he hadn't remembered being there caught his attention. It could easily be blamed on another customer but he hadn't heard the front door chime like it always did when someone went in or out and there weren't any other open stores around.
He could hear Slade's voice in the back of his mind calling him paranoid so he unlocked his car with the keys as he approached it. The dark parking lot and the mysterious car were beginning to unnerve him so he made quick work of putting the bagged items into the trunk.
"Oliver?"
He almost bumps his head on the trunk lid. Not only had the sudden voice frightened him but it sounded familiar too.
It sounded like a woman and she seemed unsure she had the right person.
He turns around to tell whoever it was that that isn't his name and she's got the wrong guy but as soon as he does he wishes he hasn't.
Felicity Smoak.
And standing by the car from earlier is John Diggle.
His heart begins to thud in his chest. How had they found him? This wasn't supposed to happen.
"What are you-?" He says quietly but she cuts him off.
"Oliver we were so worried about you!" She looks like she wants to hug him but unsure how he'll react. "We thought Slade had killed you and gotten away! Or... or something else had happened. I've been trying to pink your phone but it said it was out of service and I didn't know what to do because nothing was coming back from your email or anything and I was so scared!" She was almost in tears as she rambles on and it was now that Oliver closed the space between them and hugged her.
He hadn't been too much of a hugger but she seemed to have needed it. She hold onto him tight and takes a deep breath.
Now Oliver is almost in tears himself. She had been worried about him. Maybe he did mean something to him after all.
Instead of feeling better, like he's wanted, he feels worse. He feels guilty. Guilty for leaving them. For leaving behind his family and friends for someone he wasn't sure even loves him back then.
Instead of entertaining his feelings he decides to ask, "How did you find me?"
She sniffs and he realizes she had been crying. "It was hard. You were pretty smart about it. Using a fake name, a new phone, new email. But apparently old habits die hard because reports of a 'hooded vigilante in Gotham' reached Starling City and I just knew.
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chronicbatfictioner · 7 years
Text
Fast Car - Chapter 8
Thanksgiving came and went without Jason realizing it. It was kind of difficult to be thankful when one is living - squatting - in a place where one's mom died and one's life went to the ditch.
His first few jobs were easy. While it would be difficult for him to blend in at crowded places, he has no problem with going in to an open-air, multi-storied parking lots. The first few items were simple, too. Car logos, rear-view mirrors, even the side-mirror's holders, sometimes. Each item would earn him at least $20 - the higher-end the car is, the more money Dewald would pay him.
He had warned Dewald that he did not want to do this too often. Once a week would be his limit, because an increase of petty car accessories loss would have raised suspicions, and Gothamites are paranoid by nature. They could decide to upgrade their alarms or something like that.
Dewald's comments was, "Spoken like a true Gothamite there, son."
And Jason had swallowed a grimace. Painful realization hit him that he was his loser of a father's son, after all. Good for nothing but petty crimes. He no longer wondered if he'd be dead like his father, just when. After all, his dad was only 25 years old when he'd died. The only consolation Jason felt was that he had not impregnated anyone, and not likely ever will.
After a month, the loot 'grew up', from mirrors to hubcaps, to eventual stripping of the entire car. He would have to work with a few other guys to strip a car, and he has been training a lot and improved his speed considerably to the point where he and his two... contemporaries would be able to strip a car to its engines in under eight minutes.
"We could probably apply for a world's record or some shit." one of his contemporaries quipped. Jason just gave him a withering glare.
His first stripping was... almost fun. They had scoped a lawyer, who went to visit a hooker at East End, and stripped his Porsche gleefully. Jason barely felt the guilt - even nearly laughed out loud - when the morning news grimly reported of the 'prank' that had befallen said high-class lawyer "who was visiting a client." Oh yeah, Jason knew for a fact that he was visiting a hooker. Preferably blonde, most preferably underaged. The brownstone he was visiting was known around the block to be a brothel. Hopefully, the fact that he was robbed blind while molesting underaged girls would deter him from coming back there.
The next one was a pharmaceutical company's businessman with a penchant for drugs - the illegal kind. They had stripped the car with the guy still in it, high as a kite. And because Jason was not heartless, he'd called 911 and told them of a guy fallen asleep in a car and the car has been stripped around him. His contemporaries were amused. Dewald roared with laughter when they told him.
Annnd... because life of crime doesn't pay, before their third job, one of his contemporaries got arrested. Dewald was furious. So was Jason. Now they would have to train yet another person to take over the stripping job. In spite the fact that they could do it with just the two of them, it would take considerably longer.
Like, by five whole minutes.
Jason didn't want to risk it. He told Dewald that he'll figure out what can be nicked in that time, and suggested that they all take a break. "It's not like we're running a retail store." he said, completely hiding the fact that he was running low on cash.
He has been trying to apply to a hell of a lot of places that would accept a high school graduate. He'd even put his name at stores that would hold Black Friday sales, even. A moving company had called him twice, and he'd gone there. But the job consisted of a lot of heavy lifting, and a less-than-minimum wage of $7.50 an hour. His first job had earned him $52. The second one earned him $30. And a massive muscle aches for both jobs. Jason was partially glad that they hadn't needed him too often - just enough to convince people, like the grocery store clerk, that he has an actual job, but not enough to render his muscles to be in constant pain and soreness.
He was about to turn back home when he spotted the black sportscar parked in an alley behind the Park Row theatre - the worst part ever in Crime Alley to have parked a car. Let alone a luxurious Lamborghini like this one.
He looked around, noticing that there is no movement around him, before he approached the car. The car's windows were tinted, but not too darkly. He flashed his flashlight inward for a few seconds, noticing with relief that there was no one in it, conscious or otherwise. He surreptitiously walked around, scoping the car. He couldn't pick the mirrors - they would have nasty cables linked to the car's alarm and electronics. He could probably get the logo, bumper, and maybe hubcap.
He looked around again, noticing that there is still no movement around him, and crouched by the front tire. The hubcap seemed rather loose. A simple poke with his pick, and it came loose into his hand. Jason nearly yelped at it.
After setting the hubcap aside and shifting to the next tire, Jason suddenly noticed that the lug nuts of the tire were not covered.
He grinned to himself and started to work: propping the car's axles against a pile of bricks would prevent the car from tilting as the tire was loosened. It took him under two minutes to release the nuts, one to prop the bricks. It might not be much, but at the very least, it could be fenced off for spare tire of other Lamborghinis.
Jason straightened up just in time to see the man standing by the back of the car, effectively blocking his exit.
"Uh," yeah, he was never caught before. He truly didn't know what to say.
"You might want to put the tire back on, son, I might even look the other way for the hubcap. But the tire is a custom. It is a hassle to replace." The man, a black-haired, blue-eyed guy slightly bigger than Jason, said calmly.
"Hey, this is Crime Alley you know? It's your fault that you parked here!" Jason huffed.
The man looked solemn. "I know," he said. "My parents died here, twenty two years ago, today." he pointed to a spot a few yards behind the car. "I was paying my respect. Now please put the tire back on, I'll give you fifty bucks, since I don't think you're really stealing it for malice."
At the words 'my parents died here', Jason stilled, feeling like a heel. He knew the guy. All of Gotham knew the guy. He would be surprised if the entire Eastern Seaboard would be highly familiar with the guy.
Bruce Wayne, billionaire orphan, fun-loving playboy philanthropist whose parents were shot to death at Crime Alley when he was ten years old. The man who'd taken in an orphaned circus boy some ten years ago and made him his adopted son. The man who'd built numerous hospitals, clinics, and other public buildings for the use of the less-fortunate Gothamites. The man who'd made it a point that his company would produce generic medicines to be sold especially for Gotham's poor, under the strict supervision of Dr Leslie Thompkins, the only physician that Jason knew had been working around Crime Alley and the Narrows in her free clinic.
Gotham's own Knight in Shining Italian-made three-piece-suit-and-tie.
The guy that owns the company Tim is working for.
Jason sighed and started to put the tire back on. He couldn't steal from an angel like Bruce Wayne. Politicians, crooked lawyers, stupid profiteering businessmen, sure. But Bruce Wayne? His guilt would probably kill him within days.
He put the tire back on, and the hubcap, too, before sighing dejectedly. "I just... I'm sorry for your parents, Mr Wayne." he said. "Just... tell your mechanic guy to cap the lugs. Next time I see them uncovered, I'll hoist them tires right away because it'll just be due to your stupid."
Bruce Wayne gave him a small smile, and handed him a $50. "For the tip," he said, probably sensing Jason's hesitation. Jason took it - as much as he hated being a charity case, the guy could afford it, he figured. Also the guy needed to fire his mechanic. He watched as Wayne got in and the car purred to life, backing a few feet, before roaring out of the alley.
Much to Jason's surprise, it backed in to the alley within three seconds. Wayne opened his passenger-side window and Jason peeked in. "What?"
"What did you do to the tire?" he asked, puzzlement evident in his face. "I've brought this car to about six mechanics, one imported straight from the factory in Italy, and the front right tire had always wobbled. It's not wobbling now. What did you do?"
Jason blinked. "Uh... there was a bolt that didn't fit, so I removed it. Only by a few millimeters, though. You want it?" he showed the offending item on his palm.
"How did you know it didn't fit?"
"It's just... I just do." Jason shrugged. Wayne glared at him with the intensity that made Jason's skin itches.
"You good with cars?"
Jason lifted his shoulders slowly. "I've worked in garages before. My granddad used to let me practice with his buddies' cars. I made my... ex boyfriend's 15-year-old piece of junk stayed alive." he said.
"You know what? Come over to the Wayne Manor tomorrow, any time after noon. I have a few other cars I'd like you to look at." he handed him a business card. "What's your name?"
"Uh... Jason," he hesitated, wondering if he should give his last name or not. But then figured that Wayne would probably not remember it, anyway. "Jason Todd."
"Alright, Jason Todd. I'll leave your name with my butler." Wayne nodded. "And thanks!"
"Hope it's worth the $50," Jason smirked wryly.
"Buddy, I've spent more than that just because of a single bolt. I'd hand you more, but I don't have cash at hand right now. So come over tomorrow, yeah?"
"Alright."
Wayne sped off again. And Jason wondered just what the hell is it he'd just gotten himself into. Bruce Wayne may not be a mafioso or gangster, but he literally owns more than half of Gotham through various industries.
For the first time in a little... oh, who was he kidding. For the first time in a long while, Jason felt a little hope started to flicker in his heart.
And dear god he prayed that he would not screw this one up.
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arazialotis · 7 years
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Austin Nights - Part 4
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Pairing: Single!Jensen × Reader
Word Count: About 3000
Summary: The reader lives in Austin and unknowingly runs into Jensen at a bonfire and sparks fly. Part 1  Part 2  Part 3
Warnings: Language, Implied Smut? (not sure if that’s a warning or not)
Obviously I intend no hate or ill wishes to him or his family. This is purely just for writing and wasting my time.
This is purely for a hobby and my enjoyment. Maybe some of you will enjoy it too. I am by no means a writer so I apologize in advance for any mistakes or grammatical/spelling errors.
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----
When morning finally came, you had found yourself in the clean crisp white sheets of Jensen’s hotel room. Although last night was a blur of which time was lost, you clearly remembered every moment. The anticipation, the rush, the car ride to the hotel when hands couldn’t be kept off each other, hardly being able to make it to the elevator where your lips met passionately again, and eventually having so much of him that you passed into sleep in a state of ecstatic exhaustion.
You reached over for Jensen but didn’t find him there. You sat up pulling up the sheets to cover your bare chest as you looked around the room. Last night had you focused on other things than the details of the room. Seeing it now, it was essentially the same size of your apartment if not bigger. The bedroom led to an entryway and to the other side a marbled bathroom. A half wall separated the bedroom from what appeared at first glance to be a living room with huge gaping windows flooding with natural light. From the building outside the window, you presumed you were downtown and high up.
You slide towards the edge of the bed wanting to explore more and to find Jensen. As you stood, the pleasant ache in your thighs was undeniable. If you weren’t planning to soak up every moment you had with Jensen, you could have spent all day in bed recovering. You wrapped the sheets around you leaving only your back exposed. The sun’s warmth increased as you made your way closer. The living room consisted of a white couch and two matching love seats surrounding a TV bigger than yours. You curiously made your way to the window and gulped from the height.
A voice cleared their throat and when you looked you jumped in fear seeing that it was not Jay. The man appeared to be in a hotel uniform. You tightened the sheets around your body. He was in another extension of the room which appeared to be a kitchen and dining room.
“I’m sorry to intrude ma’am, your evening dress has been dry cleaned and pressed and is waiting for you in the bathroom.” He stated.
You were shocked by his intrusiveness and formality. “Uh, where’s Jensen?”
“Mr. Ackles had a scheduled engagement this morning and wishes I pass along his regrets. He ordered ahead breakfast and will join you shortly.” He explained.
“Um, okay.” You murmured.
He continued setting the table as you stood frozen unsure of what to do.
“I’ll step out for now, if you require any further assistance, simply buzz.” He pointed to the wall and left through a side door from the dining area.
“Any further assistance ma’am...” You mocked him silently under your breath.
Despite your sour attitude, you couldn’t resist the smell of what breakfast await for you at the table. You gathered the half of the sheet that was dragging on the floor in your hand and wandered over there. The hotel room only expanded when you noticed a set of hidden stairs that lead up to an open loft which contained an office space. You swore under your breath only imagining what it must have cost. The fanciest place you had ever stayed was a Comfort Inn..  
As you looked at the spread on the glass table, it was clear it wasn’t complimentary. Jensen, it seemed, must have ordered one of everything. You sat in front of a chair that had pancakes with berries and a sprig of something green probably just to make it look fancier. After tossing the green to another plate, you took a piece of pancake. You had to admit, it was one of the best pancakes you had ever had. It tasted healthy yet it was so light and fluffy. Taking a sip of orange juice, you realized it was actually a mimosa. You brought your knees up to your chest still sitting in the chair overwhelmed by such unfamiliar surroundings and extravagance. If only you had your spray paint cans, so you could graffiti ‘Keep Austin Weird’ across the two story windows.
Jensen came up behind you and lightly kissed you on your head while tucking a strand of hair behind your ear.
“Mornin’.” He said softly and sat down next to you and made himself a plate. “Sorry, I had an early appointment and didn’t want to wake you.”
You raised your eyebrows acknowledging you heard him. You analyzed him in the surroundings realizing you have never been with him in a setting like this. It had only just been outdoors and through Skype. But he seemed to fit perfectly here.
“Are you not hungry?” He asked concerned.
“Oh, no, I mean yes. I only just started before you got here.” You stammered and took another small bite. “How long are you here for?”
“I’m all yours today but I have to get back. My flight leaves Monday afternoon.” He said.
“Then I am calling in sick Monday to see you off.” You decided.
“You don’t have to do that, it was just the earliest flight I could get.” He explained.
“I want to, I have plenty of sick days left. Besides, it will be an empowering opportunity for the school to deal with a crisis on their own.” You explained.
“Spoken like a true social worker.” He softly laughed. “In that case, why don’t you call in sick for the week and come up with me.”
“I probably can’t this week, but I have enough saved up for the plane tickets and started on hotel funds, so maybe in two months or so.” You proposed.
“You know you can just stay with me.” He said.
“You could’ve just stayed with me…” You argued.
“I wanted to give Angie her privacy.” Jensen explained.
“Oh, trust me, Ang would have flipped her lid with joy if you had stayed with us.” You continued to debate.
“Then let me rephrase. I wanted to give us some privacy.”
You huffed and looked out the window knowing you couldn’t argue back. You knew fully well you were being unreasonable and that you needed to let the past be the past.
“What’s wrong?” Jay pried.
“Nothing.” You huffed again.
“Come here.” He motioned playfully and threw you over his shoulder, his hand wandering up your thigh.
You squealed and laughed in delight as he threw you down on the bed. Jay jumped on the bed as well, straddling your waist. He kissed the nape of your neck as his hands pinned your arms down as you tried to get away.
“I thought I had warned you about the consequences of stubbornness.” He said before deeply kissing you on the lips.
“If this is the consequence, I am afraid you’re only encouraging it, Mr. Ackles.” You remarked smiling into another kiss.
“Then you leave me no choice.” He said flopping down on the bed beside you, all allure and desire faded from his eyes.
“Oh my god, are you pouting?” You asked laughing. He cracked a smile but didn’t answer.
You straddled him and let the sheet fall exposing your chest. You watched as his focused shifted and eyes moved back and forth, fire immediately coming back to his dazzling green eyes.
“Say I was willing to compromise...” You said as you rubbed your hands under his shirt. “If you let me pay for my flight up,” You ran finger underneath his jeans and popped the button, his eyes grew big. “I’ll stay with you.” You finished by undoing his zipper.
“Your negotiating tactics are cruel.” He panted.
You leaned over to kiss him but hovered just above his mouth as your chest almost met his. “I’ll also need at least two weeks to properly request time off from work.”
“I’ll take what I can get.” He settled scanning your eyes.
“Alright then.” You jumped off him satisfied with your deal. “I’ll come.”
“Yes.. you will,” He growled hungrily and pinned you once again.
----
Once the two of you finally made your way into reality, you dragged him up and down South Congress, particularly wanting to stop in Uncommon Objects. You goofed around there for a while, giving backstories to the taxidermy, modeling hats or glasses, Jensen swearing certain items were possessed. Eventually, you felt bad for spending time there but not spending any money and started to look more seriously at what was for sale. Jensen took that as a cue to push you out afraid if you were separated from any of your money it would delay your travel further. He got you as far as Home Slice where you convinced him to sit down and split a pizza with you.
“Eggplant, really?” Jensen asked in disgust after the waiter took your order.
“It’s life changing. Trust me.” You assured.
“I’m not convinced.” He said.
“You will be.” You smiled. “So, what’s on the agenda for this evening?”
He thought a bit. “Well, I did tell Angie that I would pay her back for helping me out last night.’
“How’d that go by the way?” You asked curious how she reacted.
“At first she thought I was some random creep, then she thought she was being punked, and then she started crying when she realized it was real.” He explained. “I had to stop her from running straight to you.”
“She’s a good friend. I feel guilty for never telling her.” You explained.
“I don’t think she’ll hold it against you.” He thought. “And aside for inviting her out to drinks tonight, I also gave her permission to be the first to make us public.”
“Public?” You asked confused.
“Yeah, like letting my fans know, certain press agencies, facebook official kinda stuff.” He explained. “Only if you are ready though.”
“Oh.” It was all you could really get out. You had never really thought about it for yourself and what it would mean. You had always been content just keeping it between you and him at his request. “Well, if Angie knows, we don’t really get a choice.” You laughed.
“Of course we do.” Jensen stated confused. “I just want you to think about it. It would be big for you, people digging into your life and past, trying to get pictures of and with you, letters good and some bad.”
“Listen. I get what you are saying and I love Angie to a fault, but if she knows, everyone knows.” You tried to convince him which must have worked by the look on his face and pulled out his phone quickly searching through Twitter and then writer some memos. “Um, probably not yet. She’ll want to stage it. You said we were meeting up with her?”
“Yeah, Jared’s bar… San Jac something…” He said still distracted by writing down a few things.
“Jared? I’m not giving that scoundrel any of my money.” You teased.
“Jokes on him, we drink free.” Jensen played back.
“In that case, we should have been drinking an hour ago.” You started to get up out of the seat. Jensen called your bluff and you sat down still waiting on the pizza.
When the pizza finally arrived you dug in, folding it like a true New York style. “You know this is our first like sit down actual date.” You pondered while chewing, Jensen watching you with amusement.
He mimicked you folding the pizza, “That’s weird, you’re right.” He thought about it too
“It’s weird that I'm right?” You asked jokingly.
“You know what I mean...” He said before taking his first bite.
Eventually, after the hilariousness of watching Jay try the eggplant pizza and relaxing back at the hotel. You made your way to the San Jac Saloon. It was definitely more ‘honky tonk’ than you expected but it seemed reasonably fun.
I high pitched scream broke your observation of the place and brought everyone's attention to you. You saw Ang running to you in full force and embracing you nearly lifting you off the ground.
She continued to squeal. “Oooh, I am so happy for you!!! I could barely hold it in.” She set you back down on the ground. “How'd you manage to hide it so long? I knew something was up. I knew it.” You laughed nervously tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. “What are you doing wearing the same dress? I packed you a weekend bag?” She continued to ramble not giving you a gap to answer.
She quieted when Jensen got closer to the conversation. “I'm afraid that would be my fault... you could say I got distracted and left it in the rental.”
Angie still looking star struck, mouth gaping and all, still getting used to the idea of him around. “Can I give you a hug too?” She asked shyly.
To which he replied “Of course.” And wrapped his arm around her shoulder and she quietly squeaked with delight.
She ran back to the bar grabbing your arm dragging you there as well. “I already got shots lined up for us.”
Jensen calmly followed behind and shook the bar tenders hand.
“Okay, so it's lick, sip, suck.” She explained to Jay who was shockingly already setting himself up. She looked at you surprised. “Alright then, 3, 2, 1!” She exclaimed and you finished a bit behind the two of them.
“Ah shit, I’m not in college anymore Ang.” You cursed.
“I think I can feel the hangover already.” Jensen playfully moaned.
“We’re just getting started. ‘Nother round, ‘nother round.” Angie chanted until new glasses were filled.
“If you hadn’t figured it out, Ang somehow survives solely off of this stuff.” You commented to Jay.
“I don’t always party, but when I do I party hard.” She stated trying to impersonate the Dos Equis man while sipping one down in between shots.
“BS! When are you not partying?” You hit her blissfully.
“8 to 5, Monday through Friday.” She laughed.
“Excluding lunch hour.” You nudged her.
“You know it!” She exclaimed. “Here we go again, 3, 2 1!”
You hissed away the second shot. “Okay, no more tequila.”
“Agreed,” Jensen said handing you a beer.
“So where’s Jare Bear?” Angie asked loudly her inhibitions quickly leaving her.
Jensen forced a laugh. “Still up filming, even for me to take the weekend was nearly impossible… you'll probably hear more about him down here in May.”
“Then I'll just have to steal Y/N as my dance partner.” Angie yelled before grabbing your arm and taking you to the dance floor.
“What? Angie, no.” You softly protested but immediately gave in to have fun with her.
She was throwing out moves never seen before while you took a more conservative approach. After about two songs she started getting handsy and took you by the waist spinning you around. You laughed and tried to search for Jensen in the crowd. When you finally caught his eye you mouthed ‘save me’.  He chuckled but waved your pleas away. You continued to dance and eventually took Angie’s hand and twirled her around to make your escape.
Jensen, however, had appeared right behind you, taking your hands after placing the infamous cowboy hat on your head.
“Howdy.” He said all sultry.
“Hey there cowboy.” You answered. “What changed your mind?”
“Your contagious smile.” He flirted. “Or maybe the tequila.”
“It will take more than flattery to work on me.”  You played hard to get.
“Then perhaps my dancing will do the trick.” He joked and spun you around.
“Perhaps.” You smirked after you returned to him and started swaying your hips against his.
You followed his lead around the dance floor in some type of uncoordinated and improvised waltz. Once he and the room stopped spinning, you grabbed onto the cowboy hat and tiptoed up to kiss him. He ran his hand behind your neck pushing further into the kiss. It was only until later that night you realized Angie had captured the moment and tweeted it saying: My heart can’t handle these two. @JensenAckles consider yourself a lucky man to have her.
The tweet slowly gained momentum throughout the night. People retweeted telling Jensen congratulations, speculating if it was real, asking for confirmation, and who the girl was. The picture of you wasn’t clear and Angie hadn’t used your screenname but you noticed a few unknown users starting to follow your account, probably attempting to make a connection off of who Angie was following.
Things started to explode in the morning when Jensen retweeted it, simply responding: I do. More info to come… and Jared picked it up: @JensenAckles Have you been holding out on me? At least there is a reason you’ve been skipping out on sets. Can’t wait to meet her.
Angie was completely eating up all the attention. You however were focused on your last morning with Jensen. You drove him to the airport and waited for the last possible moment to let go of him at the security. You buried your face in his shoulder as he gently stroked your back.
“It’ll get easier, I promise. Soon you’ll be booking flights for me to get back up there.” He tried to joke to lighten the mood. You didn’t find it very funny and kept your face buried. “And I am holding you to your word. Two weeks right?”
You nodded your head up and down. “Two weeks.” You confirmed.
“I’ll stay in touch until then.” He gave you one final squeeze.
You watched him pass through security and he didn’t glance back before finding his terminal. You brushed your foot against the floor trying to smother any insecurities rising up in you. You reminded yourself of the amazing time you had and were going to have soon.
While driving back you received a text from him. “Taking off shortly. I couldn’t look back otherwise I don’t think I could have walked away. I’ll let you know when I arrive in VC.”
Part 5 Click Here!
Tag List:
@jensen-gal @girl-with-a-fandom-fettish @be-amaziing @mizzzpink @smoothdogsgirl @iamnotsaneatall @nanie5
222 notes · View notes
tumbalumps · 7 years
Text
Monsoon vs Bladewolf
Another pile of shit I wrote when I was high
Monsoon never could have predicted that such a mundane task like shopping would trigger such extraordinary events. It was early evening as the cyborg strolled around Lidls doing his weekly shop. His basket was almost full of his usual items - magnet polish, tooth whitener, hair straighteners, scrap metal, tarantulas and some oil to fry them in... There was only one more thing, perhaps the most important thing, that he needed to get. He turned into the alcohol aisle and spotted a lone flagon of white cider; the last one in the store. At the opposite end of the aisle was Bladewolf who had also been shopping for his essentials. His robot dog eyes were on the cider too. Sensing he may have competition, Monsoon decided to take no chances and dismembered himself to launch his speedy tornado move to get straight to the prize. Bladewolf launched into action and bound down the aisle with his artificial tongue flopped out. The pair collided inches away from their goal creating an explosion of spilled shopping items and Monsoon's body parts. "This cider's mine!" Monsoon declared pulling himself together and clasping a hand on the flagon. "Negative," Bladewolf responded in his monotonous robot voice as he wrapped his tail around the neck of the bottle.   They exchanged deathly stares and did the only thing they knew how: fight. Monsoon pounced on him but Bladewolf was no easy prey. He tail whipped him in the face and flipped him off and soon they were rolling around the supermarket floor grappling for the cider like a pair of amateur wrestlers on Money in the Bank. During the struggle a strange feeling of Deju vu came over them and it dawned on them that they had met before. Ten years ago, in the early hours of a Saturday morning, they had just so happened to bump into each other whilst drunkenly staggering home from a club. Memories were vague but weird sexual activity had taken place in a phone box that never would have happened if they had been sober. Ashamed of themselves, they had gone their separate ways and repressed it as deeply as possible, never seeing each other again. Each wondered silently if the other was thinking the same and decided not to mention it, in the hope that they had forgotten. Meanwhile, the scuffle had attracted the attention of the security guards. Two stern looking cyborgs stood over them with their arms folded. "What's going on here then?" the first asked, raising an eyebrow. They yelled at the same time drowning each other out with their childish squabbling and resorting to hair and tail pulling. The security guards looked at each other and shook their heads. "If neither of you are willing to back down then you will have to share." "No way! I have won this!" "Negative. Failure of this mission would violate tonight's objective." The guard spoke firmly, "If you do not agree to share we'll have no choice but to ban you both from the store and report you to your bosses." It dawned on Monsoon that the consequences of this would be dire. Not only was this the only shop for miles but he did not want Armstrong to know he had been wrestling an AI dog on the floor for three litres of white cider. Regrettably there was no choice in the matter. They begrudgingly glared at each other and nodded.
Monsoon's apartment was bigger and the closest so they agreed to go there. Bladewolf planned to share a little with him then swipe it when his back was turned. Monsoon had no intention of sharing any at all (not with Bladewolf anyway). The first thing Bladewolf noticed about Monsoon's apartment was that it was one of a kind. His jaw dropped when he saw the living room. The carpet was invisible under a sea of what to the untrained eye looked like scrap metal. There were bits of tank, helicopter, car parts and set aside even some motorcycle parts. Some of them had the creepy purple Lorentz aura about them. The leather sofa was covered in them too leaving only a small space for a single person to sit down. Plant pots were dotted around in random places and numerous Richard Dawkins and Hendrik Lorentz pictures hung on the wall as if Monsoon worshipped them as gods. The last thing he spotted was propped up in the corner: that damn, godforsaken, unholy Wheel. He would stay as far away from that thing as possible. The so called living room appeared as nothing more than a magnetic scrap metal lab. Bladewolf concluded that it most definitely deviated from the social norms he was programmed with. Monsoon spied the stunned look on his face and explained, "It's simply the way things are; this way I know where everything is so it’s easier and more efficient. It's who I am see. All is as it should be." "We shall be needing some glasses. Do you think you could find some amongst all your weird shit?" Bladewolf shot back, realising that perhaps he had been learning too much of Raiden's vocabulary. Monsoon grunted and reluctantly fetched two half pint glasses. He would permit Bladewolf to that before he booted him out of his house and kept the cider. He also permitted him to sit on the only seat in the room, but only so he could creep him out by sitting on the ceiling. To his annoyance, Bladewolf did not seem phased by this, he was an AI afterall. An uncomfortable silence fell on the room, which Monsoon broke by disconnecting his hand and rifling through Bladewolf's shopping bag. "Let's see what you got, shall we," he grinned snidely at him. "Ooh a squeaky toy, a dog dish, Pedigree Chum... What's this? A leash, dog collar, a Brazillian edition pot noodle and WKD! Tell me: what would a dumb AI dog want with those?" "I see no reason to share my objectives with you," Bladewolf answered coldly. "Do as you please!" yelled Monsoon angrily as he necked his cider in one. "I've got my own objectives to attend to." Rattled, he threw the shopping bag down purposely spilling all the contents and scurried into the kitchen, which was also covered in various vehicle parts leaving only a small space on the worktop and cooker. There was something that bothered him about Bladewolf's shopping list. He put it down to nothing more than paranoia and began making preparations for dinner: fried tarantulas with crickets as a garnish - they were a delicacy in Cambodia. He only made the effort to cook on special occasions or when entertaining guests. All he had to do was get rid of Bladewolf before the said guest arrived. Bladewolf padded into the kitchen curious about what the unusual smell was. Tarantulas! What the hell! But that was not the only odd thing he noticed; "I calculate that the portion sizes are inadequate for just a singular meal. Are we expecting company or is this strange concoction for me?" "I see no reason to share my objectives with you!" Monsoon shot back sarcastically. Bladewolf scowled and headed back into the living room as the smell of fried spiders became overwhelming. He figured the extra meal probably wasn't for him and he dreaded to think what kind of people Monsoon mixed with. If they were anything like him then the situation would become even more awkward; one was bad enough. He may have had some weird tendancies, however he wasn't stupid and had taken all necessary precautions to guard the precious cider in keeping it right next to his fryer amongst bits of magnetic scrap. A distraction was needed. Heading back into the so-called living room, Bladewolf pondered over tactics. For reasons his giant intellect could not fathom, he got a weird kick out of antagonising the cyborg. He found him strangely intriguing: a worthy opponent.  He was drawn to one of the plant pots, (which looked oddly out of place amongst all the mechanical equipment) to see what he was growing. There were some pretty pink flowers alongside some psychodelic looking mushrooms that were probably best avoided. Bladewolf smirked and pushed the pot off the ledge. Monsoon heard the smash and came dashing in, "What are you doing you stupid clumsy mutt?" Bladewolf replied with a hint of smugness, "Oh erm.. I apologise. I seem to have broken one of your Pol Pots." "What did you say?" Monsoon snarled. He was very sensitive about the traumatic childhood he had spent on the killing fields. "Plant pots." Monsoon gave him a death stare that was invisible from underneath his dome. A fake smile appeared to mask his plotting, "Oh, I must have misheard you. I suppose it’s OK I've got loads more." Bladewolf looked at him suspiciously. Why was he suddenly being nice? Monsoon's grin spread, "How about we try and be amicable towards each other seeing as we will be sharing this cider." "Your terms seem acceptable." "Good doggy. How about we play some fetch?" he said whipping out the stick he'd stolen from his shopping bag. Bladewolf's tail wagged furiously; he was a sucker for a game of fetch. The fact that Monsoon was willing to play it with him almost made up for how obnoxious he had been earlier in the supermarket. He happily followed him into the garden jumping up and down in excitement. Monsoon had a huge grin on his face that was difficult to read without seeing his eyes. Was he wide-eyed and full of joy or scowling sinisterly? Was he to be trusted? He tossed the stick far into the garden and it disappeared into a bush. Perfect; it was the ideal cover for him to perform his stealth attack... Bladewolf fell for it hook, line and sinker; he darted across the garden to the shrubs, only to find that the stick had been replaced by one of Monsoon's detached legs, which swiftly sprang into action and booted him in the face. Damn that crafty cyborg! He decided he had to up his game... Monsoon retreated back into his kitchen, chuckling maniacally to himself as Bladewolf lay whimpering and injured on his side. His fried tarantulas were almost cooked to perfection. The timing was perfect for his date were due to arrive very soon. Nevertheless a quick codec call to make sure he was on his way wouldn't hurt. 'Good evening my love. I trust you are on your way. I have prepared an exquisite meal for us. I am looking forward to seeing you.'
Meanwhile, in a nearby motel room, Jetstream Sam sat up in bed and wiped his brow after enjoying a steamy session with Raiden, who lay flat out exhausted next to him. He reached over to the bedside table and discreetly checked his codec. It had only been abandoned for a mere hour but already had several messages left on it. He sighed - it was hard being as popular as he was. It was even harder still to satisfy the tremendous sex drive he had... No singular cyborg, human or animal had managed to fulfill it, which is how he justified enjoying them all. "Who's calling you?" Raiden mustered up the last of his strength to ask. "Don't worry, nobody as good as you, pretty boy," Sam smiled, playfully running his fingers through his hair. It was true, Raiden held the largest place in his heart (still that didn't give him the right to be so possessive!) but there were things he craved that he just couldn't satisfy. That was where Monsoon and Bladewolf came into it...  He had dates with both of them lined up. Monsoon harboured some of the kinkiest freakiest fetishes that not even the darkest XXX website catered for, while Bladewolf would be his loyal unquestioning servant and do anything he wanted just like the obedient dog he was... And the beauty of it was none of the three were likely to speak to one another so he could use the same puny excuse to get away and have each think he was their one and only. "You know I have VR training to go to," he smiled at Raiden. "I know," Raiden said glumly. "Same time tomorrow though?" "Of course. I'm missing you already." He kissed him and departed for Monsoon’s place, smiling to himself, “I’m just getting started!”
Bladewolf padded back into the house after escaping the rogue limb, his pride literally dented. Analysis of that damn Monsoon, who stood frying his tarantulas with that infuriating grin on his face, concluded that he really was a smug, creepy weirdo and it was just as well that he had that big thing on his head to contain his ego. But it was OK, he would have the last laugh. For now he would let him think that he had the upper hand while he planned his next move. In the living room, in pride of place above all the junk and hanging on the wall were Dystopia, Monsoon's precious Sais. It was where he hung them when he was at home and not ripping people to shreds on the battle field. If there was a way of getting to him, then this was certainly it. So... Monsoon wanted to play fetch? If he was going to get treated like a dog then surely the only thing to do would be to act like one! He tore them from their throne and pinned them down with his metal paws like a hungry predator going in for the kill. It was in a dog's nature to maul and chew things of value. A regular dog would go for things like furniture, slippers or newspaper but he was a cyborg dog with razor sharp metal teeth that could tear up much more. The Sais were infused with Lorentz, which made them a little tough, nevertheless he managed to leave some jagged teeth marks as he slobbered and savaged them as if they were a bone. Monsoon would be furious... On hearing the feral growling from the kitchen, the cyborg dashed in to see what destruction he was causing. It was to his complete and utter horror that his beloved Dystopia were being mauled by that vile mutt! "What the hell do you think you are doing? How dare you!" he bellowed. Bladewolf looked up a sweet look of satisfaction upon his face to see the enraged Cambodian launch himself at him. He should have expected a revenge attack! Yet again, they became embroiled in a whirlwind of metallic body parts grappling at each other on the floor, hair and tail pulling like children. Once again the feeling of deja-vu swept over them. The claws of Bladewolf scraped down his attacker’s face, slicing one of the few human parts he had left. Monsoon’s artificial heart thudded and his skin tingled. Obviously, he felt more pain to his actual flesh than his cyborg body would permit and the scratch gave a jolt to his senses and made him feel alive! A desire he could not understand nor control took hold of his senses and in the grip of its vice he pinned Bladewolf onto his back and ran his tongue along his snout. Bladewolf’s eyes widened with curiosity and the same unknown feeling took hold of him too…
Drawing ever closer was Jetstream Sam, after taking a quick shower to erase the smell of he and Raiden’s bodily fluids from their earlier encounter. He felt as fresh as a daisy but of course it wouldn’t last if past experiences with Monsoon were anything to go by. He was a kinky devil and such an attentive lover! His hair slick back in his usual ponytail he walked up Monsoon’s street with a cocky swagger in his step and a cheeky grin on his tanned face. What sort of fetish would he be indulging in today? He tapped the heavy front door but there was no response. Strange noises could be heard inside: rhythmic grunting and moans… Sam was intrigued so tried the handle. Monsoon usually left it unlocked when he was expecting him although he liked to knock just out of politeness. However the door was open. Nothing could have prepared Sam for what he was about to see.
There was Bladwolf being pinned to the ground by Monsoon who was holding him by the scruff with one hand while violently fisting him with the other. A twisted expression was upon Bladewolf’s face as he yelped and Sam was unsure as to whether or not he was enjoying himself or just in vast amounts of pain. There was no such doubt with Monsoon though; his sadistic grin was spread ear to ear. It was at least a minute before either of them noticed that they were being watched but Sam was more than happy to watch the show. “Ahem…” Sam said clearing his throat. The interruption startled them. Bladewolf was mortified – he had genuine feelings for Sam and did not want him to think of him as being disloyal. On the other hand, Monsoon could not have cared less because he had no interest in being in an exclusive relationship, or any kind of relationship for that matter other than a sexual one. “Sam… why are you here?” Bladewolf asked. “I could ask you the same question,” Sam said, intrigued. “This stupid mutt was helping me warm up for you,” Monsoon grinned. “He was just leaving.” “Well, let’s not be too hasty,” Sam said, the corner of his lips curling into his own cheeky grin... "Let's dance!"
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ship-of-adramyttium · 7 years
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Introductory Note: By my calendar, it has been two months since my last post. I have several orphaned blogs that have suffered similar fates. There is no real good excuse, but some interesting reasons … well, interesting to me, anyway. However, I will update this blog more regularly. There was a two-week period, however, when I had no access to internet, email, or phone. At the end of February, my wife, Kate, and I got to go on a Caribbean cruise. When I was a kid, I went on a cruise in Hawaii, but cruise ships today are nothing like the Pacific Princess cruiser we were on back then. Here is a picture of that cruise ship now:
And here is a view of the ship we were on, the Norwegian Gem, which was elegant and carries about 2500 passengers:
The following picture essay is short on theological reflection, but it is long on an interesting and fun experience. Enjoy!
On St. Maarten
Getting There
On February 16th, we drove down to Boston and spent the night at a hotel which allows people to also keep their cars there for up to two weeks. Then we took the shuttle to South Station to catch the 11:15 train to New York City.
On the way to the train station in Boston
We love traveling by train. Every year there is a rumor that Amtrak is going to extend their DownEaster run all the way up to Rockland, which would mean we could catch the train a mile from our house, but it never happens. Otherwise we would be taking the train to Boston and NYC all the time.
The outskirts of NYC
We walked from Penn Station, past Times Square to our room in Hell’s Kitchen, which was a little over a mile. We were pretty tired, but our little hotel room looked out over a classic Hell’s Kitchen scene. I expected to see DareDevil or Spiderman show up in the alleyways.
At the Skyline Hotel in Hell’s Kitchen             Hell’s Kitchen from our hotel window
Embarkation
Our hotel was only 2 blocks away from Pier 88, which is where Norwegian Cruise Lines stations itself. We had a boarding time of 12 noon, so we left about an hour ahead of time. In NYC, the blocks between Avenues is almost twice as long as between Streets. We walked from 10th Avenue, where our hotel was, to 12th Avenue, which runs along the waterfront. Less than halfway there, we could see the ship. The Norwegian Gem is huge, but about a third smaller than the megaships that are so popular now.
This is 2 blocks away. The ship is the largest building.
From this moment on, everyday was comprised of how to navigate large crowds of people.
After going through security checks, room key photos and creation, and navigating the maze of sales for massage packages, drink packages, restaurant packages, and down payments for your next cruise, we went through the enclosed gangplank to arrive on the Promenade level and were led right into the Atrium of the ship. Which is elegant and spectacular.
Here is a link to a short movie of the light sculpture in action
We left port at about 4pm. At about 3:45, our rooms were ready. They are small, but with plenty of space. Here is Kate looking at the schedule of things to do as I take a picture from the balcony. With a bonus picture of Kate with her personal life preserver.
Kate was very happy for all the security and safety things that were present on the ship. Of course, no amount of reassurance that cruise liners are one of the safest ways to travel assuaged her concerns initially.
At Sea
The Norwegian Gem has six diesel engines, which power multi-directional propulsion systems. At full speed it burns through about 3000 gallons of diesel fuel an hour. I tried not to think about the several tens of thousands of gallons of fuel deep in the hull of the ship once I found this out. Nonetheless, those engines are highly refined pieces of machinery which allow for tight maneuverability. We backed out of port and executed a very nice 90 degree turn in the river and then headed toward the sea. Also? It was cold.
  The Norwegian Gem is registered in the Bahamas, and I believe every ship that is not registered in the US must be escorted out of the port by police or Coast Guard. We had a police helicopter escort us out. 
        We watched from the Sun Deck, along with a lot of other people.
It was moving and powerful to see Ellis Island as the sun went down, knowing relatives likely passed through there many years ago. And the Statue of Liberty at sunset is an image that has stayed with me since I saw it.
And then, we were out into the open sea, the North Atlantic.
We were at sea for 3 days going out and coming back. The first night, we – Kate and I, and our friends, Rodney and Jeni, with whom we took the cruise – explored the ship. This is the swimming pool area, which has a bar at one end, a buffet and bar at the other end, four hot tubs and two swimming pools, along with a water slide.
For the entire trip, I woke with the rising sun, which meant I was up before the vast majority of the our other 2400 fellow travelers, but not the 1000 crew members.
Kate and I made it a point to always use the stairs and walked the Promenade Deck often during our time at sea. Our room was on the 10th deck, and the Promenade was on the 7th. The buffet, pool, and sun decks were all on the 12th and 13th decks, so we walked several flights of stairs several times a day. If a person walked around the Promenade 2 ⅔ times, it was a mile. The Norwegian Gem is about 950 feet long, so once around the Promenade is a little more than a third of a mile. It is a huge ship.
The Grand Pacific dining room was at the aft of the ship. They served breakfast, lunch and dinner, and both the service and the food were excellent. The Norwegian Gem went through a major upgrade and remodel 2 and a half years ago and they went full-on Art Deco for the dining room. We were some of the first people to be seated for breakfast on the first morning, so we had a seat right above the port-side engines.
Here is the hallway leading away from our room. We were toward the forward of the ship, with a portside room (left, facing forward). This is facing aft (toward the rear). You can tell because the fish on the carpet always swim to the front of the ship, which was helpful because it was very easy to get turned around on the stairwells.
We were in room 10536. Jongi was our steward and was an excellent host for our cruise. For that matter, every staff member we interacted with was friendly, talkative, and helpful. The diversity was refreshing and wonderful to be around. Jongi was from China. Morgan, down the hall, was from India. Ghana, Croatia, Argentina, Spain, Peru, Cameroon, Norway, Philippines, Italy, France, South Africa, Russia, Taiwan, and many more were all on board. Kate and I, and our friends, Rodney and Jeni, made it a point to get to know the staff wherever we were on the ship. Lots of people complained about lots of things while on the cruise, but this being my first cruise experience as an adult, neither Kate nor I, nor our friends, could find a single thing to complain about at any point on the trip.
The seas were calm going down to San Juan. It started getting warm once we were off the coast of North Carolina. At sunset on the first day, we were down around northern Georgia, about 140 miles off shore.
Those first three days, we spent a lot of time at the outdoor cafe at the aft of the ship.
Also, I have about 400 pictures of waves and the wake of the ship.
The Norwegian Gem had 8 complimentary restaurants, 4 upcharge restaurants, and 3 buffet centers. You could, if you so desired, eat from 7am until 6:59am the next morning. O’Sheehans Pub, which overlooks the Atrium, is open 24 hours. The pub has a lot of sports memorabilia on the walls, and I was thrilled to find a great picture of The Greatest, Muhammed Ali, gracefully dodging a haymaker thrown from Joe Frazier.
By the time we were down around Florida, the water started turning a beautiful deep blue. The weather was warm and people began to swarm the pool area. Apparently, people “reserve” lounge chairs by putting their towels on the chairs, then leaving and doing whatever it is they are doing. Neither Kate or I have the patience or the desire to sit still long enough to get a tan by laying out in the sun. Also, my father used to be a dermatologist, and laying out in the sun has rooted itself as a deep and profound taboo in my psyche.
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The water gets bluer the warmer it gets; and the pool gets crowded
San Juan, Puerto Rico
Our first port was San Juan, PR. It is a modern city which reminded me a lot of Detroit – many places that are thriving and active, with pockets of abandonment. All the white SUVs and buses are for tours from the cruise ships coming into the port. It is a strange and unusual business, and from my research it is not clear if having 4 cruise ships every other day coming into your town is actually helpful to the local economy or not. I suspect most of the money spent on excursions, aside from port fees (which can be as little as $8 to as much as $25 per person), ends up back with the cruise line.
While in San Juan, we went on a tour of the El Yunque National Rainforest. The forest has been a long-term conservation project for Puerto Rico, and often people with neighboring land will donate or will the land to the park, so it keeps growing. It is incredibly lush, being a rainforest and all. As a rainforest, it rains everyday, several times a day. It is a beautiful place. 
When we got back to the pier, I was able to get an advertising shot of our ship, and watch the Royal Caribbean ship come in. The Eurodam was there as well. Last year, 21 million people went on cruises. It is a $40 billion a year industry. The line we were on, Norwegian Cruise Line, is bringing 4 new ships out in the next 3 years. There are issues with all of this, of course.
The Norwegian Gem and a Royal Caribbean cruise ship coming into port with us
Royal Caribbean and Holland America’s Eurodam as we leave San Juan
St. Thomas, VI
I think it is important, before I say anything about the Virgin Islands, that you know the stewards on NCL cruises are trained in the fine art of creating towel animals. Here is a sauropod our steward, Jongi, made for us: 
I was in the Virgin Islands when I was an early teen, so my memory of it was not clear. I remembered it as far less populated, and it probably was less populated then. But I did remember the very blue waters and the beautiful way the trees spilled into the water from the islands. All of it looks warm, lush, and inviting.
This picture was taken at about 6:45am. It rained almost every morning in all the island ports. The rain would come in over the hills and across the water, beautiful sheet falling over the land and the water. Here, the clouds are moving off into the ocean as the sun comes up over the islands.
One of the places we went when I was there as a kid was Trunk Bay on St. John’s, VI. So the excursion we signed up for was a Trunk Bay Snorkeling and Beach day. We took a boat from the ship pier to St John’s, then got on a bus to Trunk Bay,which is in Virgin Islands National Park.
The ocean was crystal clear, but the waves were big the day we were at Trunk Bay, so the coral reef off the little cay, which was about 50 yards out from the beach, was covered with sand. Also, the beach was much more crowded than what I remembered. All that is to say that I didn’t get to see a lot of color or any fish at all snorkeling around the island. Rightfully, Trunk Bay is considered one of the 10 most beautiful beaches in the world.
    St. Maarten
The next morning we ended up at Sint Maarten, which is an island divided in half. Half is Dutch, and the other, more populated, half is French. We docked on the Dutch side.
St. Maarten is a large island, but our bus to Maho Beach didn’t leave until 10am or so. It gave Kate and I a chance to wander down the pier and get some pictures.
Unbelievably, there is yet another cruise ship on the other side of the Royal Caribbean liner to the left of the picture. Also, if you look closely, you will see a little cart driving down the pier. The cart is driving down the pier toward Kate and I because people are not supposed to be down on the pier where we are. Of course, there were no signs that told us such a thing. But I got a good tourist pic of my lovely wife.
Maho Beach is in a bay on the far side of the island. It was here that Kate and I, and our friends with whom we were on the cruise with, decided the entire cruise scene is basically a travelling spectacle. Cruising, and the destinations one ends up in, is not travel in any true sense of the word. As someone who has some experience with travel, I think of travel as being willing to go to a place you don’t know, to learn about and experience things you want to know and do, and finding out about where those things are by talking to people you don’t know. Cruising is more like a moving vacation away from everything than travel.
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Anyway, Maho Beach is a small beach with a whole lot of people. The primary attraction is that the beach is beautifully blue, which you can find all over the island. The main difference here are the airplanes that land right past the beach. The planes come in right over the top of the beach. Click for a YouTube video of planes landing. It is kind of crazy.
Tortola, BVI
By the time we arrived at Tortola early the next morning, we were pretty overwhelmed by the crowds and the herding from place to place and the noise. At the same time, we were aware that Tortola may be the most interesting of the islands on our trip. Even if we wanted to do something, though, the departure time was 1PM, so we just got off the ship and wandered around the town a little bit. 
Kate and I went to this strange car park on the water and took some pictures, waded through the shops outside the pier, and then got back on the ship to people watch and enjoy the incredible weather – it was about 84 degrees and humid everywhere we went in the Caribbean, which was a nice break from the cold in Maine.
The aft deck overlooking the Tortola pier – Tortola in the morning
One thing I discovered about cruising is that much of the experience is always in comparison to other cruise ships and past cruises. When the Oasis of the Seas pulled up next to us, I noticed, “Hey, wait a minute…they have TWO climbing walls. And a giant LED movie screen by the pool area! What the…” 
The Tui Discovery, which hails from New Zealand had a pink llama as a mascot. I liked the pink llama and thought our Norwegian Gem ship should have a mascot – maybe a reindeer or a lundehund.
          Here is the Tui Discovery’s Llama And here is the Gem with a Lundehund
At Sea
We left Tortola – home of pirates and nefarious transfers of goods and humans alike – at 1pm. We took 3 days to get down to the Caribbean, and it would take a little less than that, but not much less to get back to NYC. Leaving Tortola was fantastically beautiful.
When we entered into international waters, the swells started to come in diagonally, and they were large, but relatively gentle. A lot of people on the ship didn’t handle it well, but we did.
It appeared to me that everyone on the ship knew they were headed back to cold weather, so they did whatever they could to take advantage of the time left to them to hang out in the sun and around the pool.
Sunsets were spectacular on the ocean. We didn’t get to see the green flash that happens when the sun hits the horizon at sunset when you are nearer to the equator, since it was cloudy every evening. But cloudy evenings led to moments like these.
The ship has something going on every moment of every waking hour. Most of the shows were musical reviews or comedy shows. We did go to one show with a couple of acrobats who were very impressive. What made it even more impressive was the performers were doing their ribbon and acrobatic routine on a considerably rocking ship. They did not appear to care. The theater that the performance was held was beautiful and could seat up to 1200 people. I couldn’t take pictures of the performance, but I did take a picture of the stage.
The ship was beautiful and all the lighting was just at the edge of being overwhelming, but the blue and purple and greys and the softened tones are clearly designed to calm people and draw them in.
This was a karaoke night in the Atrium featuring the crew of the ship. There were some very talented people who sang, but I was keenly aware of the penchant for ‘70s pop and soft rock.
The last couple days, Kate and our friends and I began to seek places that weren’t as crowded. However, if you choose to go on a cruise, there are people everywhere and there is no “quiet space”. Even the library was crowded. I suppose it was quiet in there, but so many people being quiet in a small space seemed more difficult to me than Calypso and Reggae bands playing by the pool.
Disembarkation
After 10 days on the Norwegian Gem, it was time to leave the ship. Cruising is a weird way to travel. It is like a floating city that travels to different places, but you see the same things everyone else sees when you go to those places. Instead of a house, you have a room where the bed is always made for you and someone cleans your bathroom for you and leaves towel animals for you.
Instead of having to worry about meals, you can choose to eat from your choice of a bunch of good to great restaurants, or just go to the buffet and eat as healthy or as unhealthy as you like. Instead of 128 channels with nothing on, there are musicians around the ship or a show in the theater or games in various lounges.
There is a lot that is attractive to all this and there are actually people who have both the income and the temperament to essentially live on a cruise ship all the time – as a passenger.
None of the above would be possible without the exceptional work of the international crew that makes all of this happen. The cooks, stewards, restaurant attendants and waiters, customer service agents, photographers, the captain and chief officers all make the experience seem unencumbered and relaxed. The amount of work to make this happen for 2400 passengers is almost inconceivable, and yet they remain friendly and attentive. Having done customer service work for many years before ministry, I can say this attitude is very hard to maintain.
But it was time to leave the ship, and we were excited to get home to our dogs and our house. We came into New York at sunrise.
By 8:45 we were off the ship. Here is a secret for you: Easy Disembarkation from the ship is when everyone leaves the ship. It is supposed to be an organized affair, but leaving the ship all at once is a herding event that is very uncomfortable.
And then, we were back on the streets of New York City.
Having been away from the ship for a month now, I can honestly say I would do this
The Cult of Cruise
whole thing again in a minute. Even with all the herding, all the people, the constant ‘70s pop music, it is unlike anything else. The danger is to join the Cruise Cult. Every cruise should be like your first cruise – unexpected, unknown, and completely new.
Kate and I had many conversations about the nature of leisure and vacations and work while on the Norwegian Gem and I will be updating the blog with some of those insights. One insight, however, that I will end with here is this:
Gratitude for those who make things possible for our enjoyment and leisure is easily overlooked. To make gratitude to those who make our vacations possible is a personal responsibility while traveling. Things go very well when, in our case, the staff and crew know you will be gracious for the things they do and the things you ask for. Once we engage gratitude, it flows. It flows from the vacation and the people helping make it possible, to the people you are traveling with, to the work you do to make the financial aspects possible, to the gifts given that help you travel, to God, for the incredibly beautiful places, creatures, and people in this world. So on your next vacation, say “Thank you” often. Start a conversation with your waiter. Thank the management or owner or captain. Look for the people who never get thanked, and thank them. Often. It will change everything, because we are changed when we are grateful.
A Sabbatical Cruise Introductory Note: By my calendar, it has been two months since my last post. I have several orphaned blogs that have suffered similar fates.
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takeenata · 8 years
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Birthday
February 8th, 2016. My friends are gathered at my house, here without my knowledge or planning involved. Not without permission, however; my friends are welcomed to enter my home at any moment, so long it’s at some reasonable hour. My family, wife and kids, are here as well. Today is a momentous day for them, but sometimes I just like to believe it’s a good reason for them to party. They drink brew I spent a few days working on to perfect to my tastes, and apparently it’s just right for them too. They eat food that I prepare them, from full-fledged meals to small snacks. I am the provider of all of this, and despite the occassion, I am more than alright with this being my birthday celebration. Happy 45.
I’ve never wanted anything extraordinary for my birthday celebration. Up to when I was twelve, mom and dad would celebrate my day with a loaf of cinnamon banana bread. It became my favorite thing to eat when I was six, and till this day I would choose it over a batch of cookies or a cake. My wife is aware of this, and she attempts to recreate the banana bread on this day. I have never asked her of this, she does it on her own accord. When the night’s done and my friends have gone their separate ways back home, the kids want to go off and see their friends. My wife and I are more than alright with them seeing their friends at this time; we’ve visited their parents more often than not because of how much time our children spend together. It also gives us about three hours alone in the house. Three hours alone, on my birthday. If I have to share anymore detail about what happens next, you need help.
It’s roughly eight o'clock in the afternoon. If you’re a working person, this is usually the time you go to sleep so you can get up and get a head start on your work, and get off work pretty early. Which, my day is usually going to sleep around eight-thirty, waking up at five-thirty, working out for an hour, take a shower, make breakfast for the kids before they go to school at seven-thirty. Then I work over a hot forge till it’s twelve, take a thirty-minute-lunch, then work on what I can till it’s around four. But the part of owning your own business, and being the only one that works there, is that you can work whenever you really want. As if no one’s going to complain that you’re not working; especially when you’re a blacksmith for a living, and on average your final products sell for over a grand each. Add the fact that you work on more than one project a day too; on a good day I am handling six to seven different pieces.
Eight PM. I went to the fridge to see if I have the right things to make breakfast for my kids in the morning. Sadly, I ran out of milk and eggs during today’s celebration. Breakfast is the most important part of the day in my house, and I’ll be damned if I ever let my kids go a day without having something to kickstart their morning to school. I know that Docward likes to have a bowl of cereal and toast with strawberry jam, and Nimie ‘cannot survive’ unless she has her morning orange-juice and scrambled-eggs. Pirella doesn’t care what’s made for breakfast, so she says, but I know for a fact she enjoys oven-baked bacon as much as I do. I look through the freezer to see we’re also out of bacon; a flashback of making about ten pounds of bacon for my party today came back to me.
I closed the fridge door to walk to my bedroom, hearing Pirella chatting with someone. The room is illuminated with a single lamp on a nightstand, and with it I’m able to see my wife laying on the bed with a laptop on her legs. She’s wearing boxers, and a white tank-top. Her face is illuminated by the screen of the laptop; as I walked in she looked up at me, smiled, flashing the sharp white teeth of hers. “Hey, Husbee.”
“Husbee? That’s new.” I was in my pajamas, which was just a pair of wool shorts with a string, the undershirt I’ve been wearing throughout the day, and a navy blue robe. I disrobe myself, hanging it up on the back of the bedroom door as I closed it.
“Well babe gets kind of dull doesn’t it?”
“What’re you talkin’ about, babe?”
Pirella laughs. “I hope you’ve had a good day today.” “It was an amazing day. I really appreciate you all bein’ there.”
“Of course we’re all going to be there. It’s the least they can do showing up to this after all the times you’re there for them.” “I don’t like pulling favors from people though, even if they do owe me.”
“Tak this whole house is built on a favor.” She proved a valid point. 2010 was the year I finally settled down and was able to get a house. But, I wasn’t one to just buy a house with money I barely had. However, a year prior to settling down, I had saved a man’s life at the hands of some sinister necromancer. Considering the man was wealthy in many ways, and had political power, the necromancer had plans to kill him and reanimate his body to their favor, essentially a puppet. I didn’t find out what all the necromancer wanted to do after the fact; I do know that the magic abuser is hospitalized, paralyzed from the neck down. I was not proud of what was done to him.
“I guess you have a point,” I said with agreement, remembering I had asked that same man if I could have a house built to my liking, and he was more than willing to do so. Three months later, my two story house was completed, with a forge house in the side.
I need a change of subject. “So who are you talking to, honey?”
“It’s Aimee. She says “Hi.””
“Hello Aimee,” I say back in a louder voice. I make my way to my dresser that perches a television on top of it. Well, sort of perches it on it’s top; the television is mounted on a wall, and my dresser underneath it. From the dresser I reach for the second to last drawer of this four-drawered-construction; it’s the jeans drawer, and from it I take out one of the worn out pairs of Arizona jeans as well as a belt.
My wife noticed me changing into jeans. “Heading somewhere?”
I slide open the first drawer to take out a black shirt, then the second drawer to draw out a red flannel. I begin to dress, and I tell her “Need to make a grocery run before the store closes in…” I flick my wrist for my watch. “An hour and a half.”
I continue getting dressed. I can hear Pirella telling Aimee to wait a second. The uegat got out of our bed, stretching down her tank-top; sitting down had bunched it up to her chest. “Do you plan on driving?” “When it’s right down the street? I don’t want to waste gas. Plus I could use a walk to think about some things, you know.”
“Everything alright? I know Christmas is a hard time for you, but you’re usually a lot more open during your birthday.” She planted her hands on her hips. “What’s eating you up?”
“I’m forty-five now. I’m three years away from outliving my mother and father. I just want to think this stuff out alone, you know?” I started to get dressed, putting on my jeans and other articles of clothes. I felt like my explanation wasn’t enough and that I might’ve offended my wife a little.
“I know you’re always there for me. I really love that about you. Even before we were married, you were there to get me off my ass and onto my feet, kicking and fighting. But, this is one of those things that I want to think through first before I talk much more about it, you know? I’m sorry if that hurts you in any way.”
She quickly wrapped her strong arms over my shoulders, drawing me down to her for a tight hug. “Tak that’s all you have to say. I love you, honey.”
I wrap my arms around her waist and lift her up to my height, bringing her feet off the carpet flooring. “I love you too.” She presses her lips onto mine, and I embrace my wife with tender love.
“Stay safe out there. I heard it’s going to rain, and I’d rather you not catch a cold.”
“I’ll bring my jacket, the big brown one.” I have to specify. I have a lot of jackets, and often they’re used for separate occasions. Rain; cold-weather; style; travel; business; it’s important to have something for everything.
“Don’t forget your wallet either.”
“I always carry my essentials.” Essentials being wallet, car-keys, and concealed weapon. A mental list of whatever I needed from the store is what I need now though. It was bacon, milk, and eggs. A gallon of milk, a dozen eggs, and maybe two packets of Oscar Meyer thick-cut bacon. I like my women like my bacon; thick and delicious.
Bad jokes aside, I need to make sure that’s all I’m having to get. “Anything else from the store you think we need?”
“Grapes, bananas, and apples. You all ate the fruit today.”
“We had fruit to begin with? Where the heck was it?”
“On top of the fridge in a basket-weave. Though I guess it’s hard for you shorter people to see up the fridge now, ain’t it?” She laughs.
“Your ears don’t count for your height.” She has ears pointing up that are about a foot in length. If ears did count towards height, my wife would be taller than me by a few inches. We share a laugh together. I finish getting dressed and make my way outside, heading for the nearest store before they close for the night.
I buy the needed items if I want to assure my family are going to have a happy breakfast tomorrow morning. I make small talk with the cashier, as they made comments about me being here close to closing. I replied with it being the least busy at this time of night, but how I also needed to restock after my birthday this year. They wish my a happy birthday. I buy my items and start to walk back outside.
The automatic doors slide open. I see the downpour of rain begin, followed by several claps of thunder and flashes of lightning arc across the blackened sky. The sky might’ve already been black, considering it was evening; the clouds were blocking the moonlight. I’m thankful to have grabbed my raincoat; I’m not so thankful that years ago when I bought this thing, I picked the obnoxious, highlighter yellow option. At least it’s reflective. My hood goes up, making my head form an awkward shape since my ears stick out a few inches from my head. Hoods aren’t my style anyways; niether are beanies.
I walk home, listening to the sounds of a storm roll over me. It’s peaceful, despite the destructive nature that can come in these storms. Reminds me of a time I watched a tree back in Kansas get split in half by a bolt of lightning. The sound it made was awesome. Find it strange or not, I didn’t see a legitimate lightning storm like this when I was living back in Alaska, up north. I seen a lot of blizzards and some rain, but the rain was a rarity with how cold it got. The blizzards were always something else to wake up to, as you exit the front door and there’s two feet of snow blocking you.
The thunder is calming. Single story buildings made of bricks make the path home for me, but they echo the sounds of the storm and resonate them in a deeper, more mellow manner. Each roar surges through my chest, as I feel the echoes shake inside my body; my heart settles and slows. I believe this is my body’s way to let me know, now more than ever, can I relax. I’ll end this day on a high note, with self-reflection; self-realization.
It was back in 1971 when –
“There you are,” grunts a voice unfamiliar. A pair of clawed hands takes ahold of the hood of my raincoat. Make that several hands taking hold of my raincoat; is that five or six pairs I’m feeling right now? Difference sizes too, and some don’t even have claws. I’m swept off my feet and thrown into an filthy alleyway that’s barely given any light from a broken street lamp that flickers. The groceries I had bought fly from their bags, making a fresh mess of breakfast items. A waste of forty something dollars.
The hands toss me against the rusted metal of a unsanitary dumpster; my head slams against the sides of it, hard enough to make the open plastic lid slap down with an audible thump. The sudden surge of pain causes me to slide down the sides of the trash-filled box. As I now sit in a puddle of sullied water, I feel my vision blurring, the rain not helping as it fogs my vision. I can only make out eight figures that use the shadows to mask their identities. Wiping away the rain, I can see them better.
Demons. I should’ve figured. Such a strange variety of them too. One is an imp; another wears a tailored tuxedo; a third has skin with a violet shade to it. One has more than four horns breaking from it’s skin; a different demon looks to be suffering from an overextended diet of grease; the sixth’s skin I believed to be red in design, but as I look again I see their skin is actually riddled with tattoos on a pale-skin-canvas; another had shackles burned and chained to it’s wrists and ankles.
A stranger stood amongst these seven demons. While the rest wore leather and cloth looking clothes, they wore jeans, boots, and a hoodie that prevented me from seeing their face. I couldn’t see the color of their skin, or any other definite traits. I can’t label them as human, or other subhuman, humanoid, or other bipedal race of being. I could safely assume them as a demon, since the crowd it stood with was consisted of only demons.
I finally stand after observing the demons that surrounded me in a half-circle. Needless to say, I am in no mood to end the best day I’ve had in awhile with a fight against eight demons, with intentions I’m sure are to kill me. Hands clenched, adrenaline making my heart race after it had just calmed; my mind ticking with ways I’d win this inevitable fight, despite odds stacked against me. “What do you want?” I question, having good hope this was just some sort of confusion. Afterall, none of the demons carried weapons with them.
“You,” they all said, simultaneously, like they rehearsed this scene to get it right.
I shake my head. “I’m not in the mood for this crap,” I spit out. My hands gesture to the mess of food that was going to be breakfast for my family. “You all just completely trashed my grocery run, and the store just closed.”
“Damn your pitiful food, elf!” Said the most well dressed of the demons, their tone sounding like the rich stereotype. He’d be the one paying me for the food he helped ruin.
“Dine on your blood tonight,” included the demoness with violet skin. “You’ll be drowning in it!”
I roll my eyes. This is not the first time I’ve heard someone talk high-and-mighty, treating me like a lesser individual when they make threats against my life. It’s too common for me to hear more threats against me than actual hopes for me, which is cons when it comes to being an avid ‘protector of good’ and ‘destroyer of evil.’ I’ve had a pretty damn good day, and I’m not about to let eight strangers completely ruin it for me with their threats. “I ain’t in the mood for this,” I say, left facing and starting to walk out of the alleyway. “I’m not even going to ask that you guys pay me back for my food; consider this a warning to leave me alone.”
My way is suddenly stopped by a standing wall of tattooed skin. I look up at the one in my way, which is uncommon for me as I am usually one of the tallest out of my group of friends, standing six-feet-five-inches. The giant of a demon, this muscle made obstacle completely blocks me from exiting, stepping left and right as I try to step left and right around him. He’s laughing at me now. “This is the infamous “Elven Hero,” the halls of Hell scream so much about? “Heaven’s Sword” walking away from a battle. Pathetic.”
“Is that what this is about? Y’all want to test your metal against me?”
“I’ve long dreamed of fighting you one-to-one, Takeenata. But we are not here for games,” said the mound-of-muscle-mass, as he lifts me up aggressively by the front of my raincoat. “We’re here to-” “Gash,” softly spoke another voice, a whisper directly in my ear. Chains rattled as the pale demon spoke. “He mustn’t know. He’s not allowed.”
“Very well,” said the brute holding me, suddenly strengthening his grip. The demon Gash tossed me with extreme force and speed, and I collided with the cold, wet, brick wall of the alleyway.
I’m no where near strong or sturdy enough to have left a dent in the wall, however, I did leave behind a splat of my blood due to new injury dripping behind my head. I can feel my back broken in a few different places now; vertebrates out of place and an inability to walk normally. Lucky for me I landed next to the dumpster, which I use now to pull myself back onto my feet. I hold onto the edges to keep myself up.
I can taste a clot of blood in my mouth. Something’s bleeding inside of me. Elven genes dictate that injuries usually heal up quickly when that injury is given rest for a good week or so, and the dwarven bit of me lets me withstand injuries pretty well and have the strength to press on, disregarding awful pain. Despite these advantages I may have, I don’t think it’s going to help me when I can’t feel or move the lower half of my body now.
Still though. I have to fight. From my back I draw my handgun, a .45 caliber with a twelve round clip, and on my utility belt, two more clips to load. Always carry essentials. I take the pistol off safety and hold it with my firing hand, my right hand, as my supporting arm, the left arm, keeps me up and holding on the edge of this dumpster. The enemies surround me, which narrows down my need to aim well.
I still don’t want this to go down. I just want to go home, sleep next to my wife, and wake up to a loving family. However; I’ll take anyone that tries to kill me down to Hell. I spit out the clot of blood collecting in my mouth, then gaze at the eight demons surrounding me. “None of you are leaving here without any scars,” I say with utter aggression boiling in my veins.
The imp tries to charge at me, flaring his tiny teeth with an open mouth, wanting to bite me. His head was bigger than his body, he stood no bigger than two, maybe three feet tall. My aim goes for his abnormal sized head, and I pull back the trigger. I fired a shot straight into his gold colored eyes, and he goes down like a bag of rocks. Though, I know he’s not dead, just immobilized while he recovers from taking a bullet into the eye. Judging from there being no exit wound I witnessed, the bullet is lodged in his brain. This will give me more time as his body tries to push it out.
A chain appears from the heavy rain and wraps around my wrist. The joints of this rusted chain pinch my wrist and squeeze with incredible strength, attempting to cut off the circulation to my firing hand. He knows my weapon can cause damage; the demon in rags and chains wants to take away my advantage.
I attempt to whip the chain back at him by flicking my arm up and down. Success; the whip hits the demon in it’s face, and he drops his weapon. With my wrist being freed, I aim for his head and fire. The aim wasn’t all too good, but I manage to hit his chest well enough to toss him on his feet.
With two out of the fight, and two bullets used, with 34 rounds left to spare, I feel complete faith that I’ll make it home tonight. I’m going to have to call my wife and get her to drive here and pick me up; no way I’m walking for a few weeks, and there’s not a chance that I’m crawling back half a mi –
A sudden force hits my chest. Colliding force that goes through my chest, that I can feel penetrate my…heart? I’ve never felt anything legitimately touch my heart before; metaphorically is something else. The sudden sharp pain that surges through my chest, how clean it went through and the way it feels inside. I’ve felt this feeling before; I’ve been stabbed. In the heart.
Mind goes numb. Body fails to move. I slowly descend down to the cold damped ground, dropping my pistol and staring off into the end. This was the end – holy shit. With each pump of my heart, my vision fades into dark. With each beat, my life fades away. I clutch at my chest, holding the very knife that penetrated me. I’m not sure what sort of idea I had just then, but I find myself taking the blade out of my chest and observing it.
“Such strange designs,” I thought to myself, admiring the weapon that killed me. I look up to see my attacker, which was the stranger in the hood. He didn’t move the entire time, didn’t say a word either. I should’ve paid better attention to him.
Life slipping away by each second, vision become more black by the second. I’m so sorry Pirella, I won’t be coming home tonight. My kids, oh God my kids; they won’t have a father anymore. My group of friends will be short one person now.
Eyes close, and I feel the last gasp of air escape my lungs, and the last pump in my chest.
I’ll be seeing you, mom and dad.
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preciousmetals0 · 5 years
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Don’t Give in to “Gains Panic”
Don’t Give in to “Gains Panic”:
Story Highlights:
There’s a new breakthrough that’s gearing up to enhance the way we drive and can increase car mileage by 30%.
Tesla’s new Cybertruck has caught the attention of Dubai officials in a big way.
How you can get Paul’s No. 1 stock pick for 2020.
With the market hitting new highs, there’s a fear settling over investors.
It’s not a recession, a slowdown or a crash.
It’s “gains panic.”
This is a fear that the market will see a downfall because so many stocks are reaching new highs. But I’m telling you, please no gains panic!
This is the time to celebrate your strong hands.
I believe we’re entering a new era where innovation is meeting our mega trends. And this is going to set us up for potentially even bigger wins in 2020.
Check out this week’s Market Talk to find out what you need to do as stocks continue climbing higher:
[embedded content]
Market Talk Megacharts
I have three megacharts to share with you this week. The first chart shows we had a healthy expansion in U.S. GDP in the third quarter. Per the Bureau of Economic Analysis, third quarter U.S. economic growth numbers released last week were revised higher to an annual rate of 2.1% from 1.9%.
This revision reflected revised gains in private manufacturers’ inventory investment, as well as shipments and orders. We also saw that non-residential fixed investment in commercial and healthcare structures ticked up, as well as an increase in consumer spending on cars and car parts. In particular, new light trucks.
This second chart shows you that these positive revisions in third quarter GDP were released at the same time initial jobless claims for the week of November 23 — also known as weekly filings for unemployment benefits — fell by the most since May.
This third chart shows a great snapback in U.S. capital goods orders. Survey analysts were projecting declines in this number, but the latest release shows demand in U.S. business equipment unexpectedly jumped higher in October, the most since January. Bookings for commercial equipment, excluding aircraft, increased 1.2% while shipments raised 0.8%.
Where this week’s economic releases are concerned, there will be six major releases over a two-day period. As you can see in this table, on Thursday, October’s trade balance will post at 8:30 a.m. October’s factory orders and October’s final durable goods orders will post at 10 a.m.
On Friday, November’s jobs report will be released at 8:30 a.m. Wholesale inventories month-over-month final print for October will post at 10 a.m. followed by the University of Michigan’s sentiment preliminary December reading at 10 a.m.
Amber on Big Innovation
For my innovation story of the week, we focus a lot of our research on companies like Tesla, but there is a modern-day technological breakthrough in development that could have an impact not just on EVs like Tesla but on both hybrid and internal combustion engine (ICE) cars. I’m focusing on it because with EVs and ICE, they all need this item to function.
I’m referring to car tires. Right now there are companies that are aiming to revolutionize the tire industry by enhancing the performance of our car tires by using graphene. Graphene is known as the wonder material that is the thinnest material known to humankind at just one atom thick.
It’s strong. About 200 times stronger than steel according to graphene information. A set of international companies are working together to create car tires that include graphene enhancements. So far, studies have shown these graphene-enhanced car tires show a 30% increase in wear resistance over current rubber tires.
Drivers could possibly get more than 30% more mileage on their tires before they need to get them replaced. Graphene-enhanced tires can improve braking in poor weather conditions by 40%. With these graphene stats we may be poised to see a turn in the traditional tire industry.
Good News Roundup
Story number one: Tesla’s Cybertruck is set to join Dubai’s police force, according to Engadget. This is pretty cool.
Story number two: Also per Engadget, nearly 40% of online Black Friday purchases were made with smartphones. I know because I did it. People spent $2.9 billion using their phones versus $2.1 billion last year.
Story number three: Tomorrow, December 3, is giving Tuesday. Giving Tuesday is a day that encourages people to do good. It’s a worldwide movement that inspires hundreds of millions of people to give, collaborate and celebrate generosity. To participate, we can give our time, voice, dollars, goods, talents and most of all kindness.
Since its inception in 2012, Giving Tuesday has collectively raised more than $1 billion and is projected to break the $500 million mark tomorrow. To learn more about this tremendous day, visit GivingTuesday.org.
Hudson’s Insights
I’m looking at three things this week.
First, I saw late last week that Fidelity got approval from New York State for cryptocurrency trading, which is a big potential on ramp for crypto because Fidelity manages a ton of retail money. That’s an interesting development.
Second, this week we are looking at the Saudi Aramco IPO that should trade in Saudi Arabia. Most of the equity being raised is going to be coming likely from regional investors and a small number of international investors who are able to access the Saudi market. That’s going to be a big one and something interesting to look at.
Eventually, I think they will come to the western markets but this first experimentation with privatization is going to be with their local market.
Finally, the big news I saw this weekend is the New York Stock Exchange (NYSE) submitted a proposal to the SEC that will allow issuers to raise new capital alongside direct listings. This is sort of a hybrid approach coming to the public market.
It sounds a lot like a traditional IPO, just without the lockup. What will this mean? I think it will mean there will be more stock coming to the market upon listing as opposed to six months later when the lockup expires and the big venture capital investors and founders can sell.
I also think it means that more institutional investors will be participating in these companies earlier. We’ve maintained that institutional investors mostly wait for the new earnings reports. At least a couple earnings reports to gain confidence and for the large blocks of stocks they need to accumulate a significant position.
I think now they are going to accelerate their diligence, do a lot more work upfront earlier and be willing to make a bet on these untested management teams earlier if they can get enough stock at a lower valuation to compensate for that risk. I think that’s a big development we will see playing out in 2020. I’m curious what ends up happening with the SEC ruling on that. It’s definitely something to watch out for.
Paul on New Stock Market Highs
The stock market is making new highs. GDP. Recession is missing. All through 2018 and 2019 this was the drumbeat: There’s going to be a recession, there’s going to be a crisis, there’s going to be a crash. And nothing. We never even got close.
We have told you in every Market Talk that we never saw signs of a recession. For sure there was a slowdown. We may have talked ourselves into that just by all the things that were being put out because of a choice by financial media to focus on the most negative elements of what is going on.
However, we’ve been telling you throughout 2019 to stay invested. Now that stock markets are making new highs, please do not have “gains panic”. Many people seeing the stock market or their stocks at new highs are going to feel like they need to do something.
It’s the same feeling people get when stocks are declining rapidly. You feel this physical urge to do something. What you need to do is follow the Rules of the Game we tell our readers about. If you have money set aside, you are equal weighted, you have never gone all in on any single stock and you’ve bought in over time, maybe you’ve taken a little profit here or there to build your cash reserve, but there’s nothing you need to do.
You have done the hard work by being the strong hands. This is the benefit you have gained by enduring through that volatility. All the folks who sold last year out of panic are now in a panic to get in. This is why stocks are being bid higher every day, day after day. Of course the financial media is now telling you they have gone too far too fast, it’s overvalued and all these other things.
We would tell you that new highs are a good sign. They are a sign of confidence in our markets, confidence in our economy and a sign that people who are bidding these higher and holding it also see better times coming. Higher sales and better earnings. Please remember, no gains panic. Stay in our stocks. Be strong hands through a much easier scenario, which is seeing your stocks bid up.
At Bold Profits we favor innovation-based stocks around our big megatrends: Internet of Things, artificial intelligence, block chain, precision medicine, new energy, the rise of the millennial generation. A lollapalooza of all this coming together is just beginning.
We’ve been hinting about it in Market Talks. It’s America 2.0. All these megatrends coming together with this demographic shift. It starts to come together to build a new America, which somebody looking at us even 20 years ago will not recognize. I mean that in a good way.
Technology begins to transform the way we live, how we do things and all the elements of innovation that matter. It makes things better in so many different ways. If you are interested in these kinds of stocks, this week my publisher is going to be sending out emails for you to get in on my True Momentum service.
We are going to put in my number one pick for 2020 in this service. If you want to get in on that, check out True Momentum is our best-performing service. It focuses on what is referred to as mid-cap stocks. Stocks that have a market capitalization of $3 billion and higher. It’s been annualizing at something in the range of 45% or so.
That’s because these companies are in that perfect moment where they are coming to the market for the first time with a service, product or solution that has wide appeal. The growth rate is the strongest so people come to bid it up in a big way. I’m going to put in an incredible stock that I believe has a capability to at least do what the other stocks have done.
Our minimum target for all stocks that go into True Momentum is 300%. If you’re interested in that, click here. It will send you to the webpage that will get you the details to get in.
We focus on the good news. We tell you everything that’s going on, rather than the bad news media. Tell us, what did you do in 2018? Even the first half of 2019? Were you the strong hands? Did you hold on? Are you making more money? Comment below and let us know if you were the strong hands. Let us know what you did.
Regards,
Paul Mampilly
Editor, Profits Unlimited
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goldira01 · 5 years
Link
Story Highlights:
There’s a new breakthrough that’s gearing up to enhance the way we drive and can increase car mileage by 30%.
Tesla’s new Cybertruck has caught the attention of Dubai officials in a big way.
How you can get Paul’s No. 1 stock pick for 2020.
With the market hitting new highs, there’s a fear settling over investors.
It’s not a recession, a slowdown or a crash.
It’s “gains panic.”
This is a fear that the market will see a downfall because so many stocks are reaching new highs. But I’m telling you, please no gains panic!
This is the time to celebrate your strong hands.
I believe we’re entering a new era where innovation is meeting our mega trends. And this is going to set us up for potentially even bigger wins in 2020.
Check out this week’s Market Talk to find out what you need to do as stocks continue climbing higher:
[embedded content]
Market Talk Megacharts
I have three megacharts to share with you this week. The first chart shows we had a healthy expansion in U.S. GDP in the third quarter. Per the Bureau of Economic Analysis, third quarter U.S. economic growth numbers released last week were revised higher to an annual rate of 2.1% from 1.9%.
This revision reflected revised gains in private manufacturers’ inventory investment, as well as shipments and orders. We also saw that non-residential fixed investment in commercial and healthcare structures ticked up, as well as an increase in consumer spending on cars and car parts. In particular, new light trucks.
This second chart shows you that these positive revisions in third quarter GDP were released at the same time initial jobless claims for the week of November 23 — also known as weekly filings for unemployment benefits — fell by the most since May.
This third chart shows a great snapback in U.S. capital goods orders. Survey analysts were projecting declines in this number, but the latest release shows demand in U.S. business equipment unexpectedly jumped higher in October, the most since January. Bookings for commercial equipment, excluding aircraft, increased 1.2% while shipments raised 0.8%.
Where this week’s economic releases are concerned, there will be six major releases over a two-day period. As you can see in this table, on Thursday, October’s trade balance will post at 8:30 a.m. October’s factory orders and October’s final durable goods orders will post at 10 a.m.
On Friday, November’s jobs report will be released at 8:30 a.m. Wholesale inventories month-over-month final print for October will post at 10 a.m. followed by the University of Michigan’s sentiment preliminary December reading at 10 a.m.
Amber on Big Innovation
For my innovation story of the week, we focus a lot of our research on companies like Tesla, but there is a modern-day technological breakthrough in development that could have an impact not just on EVs like Tesla but on both hybrid and internal combustion engine (ICE) cars. I’m focusing on it because with EVs and ICE, they all need this item to function.
I’m referring to car tires. Right now there are companies that are aiming to revolutionize the tire industry by enhancing the performance of our car tires by using graphene. Graphene is known as the wonder material that is the thinnest material known to humankind at just one atom thick.
It’s strong. About 200 times stronger than steel according to graphene information. A set of international companies are working together to create car tires that include graphene enhancements. So far, studies have shown these graphene-enhanced car tires show a 30% increase in wear resistance over current rubber tires.
Drivers could possibly get more than 30% more mileage on their tires before they need to get them replaced. Graphene-enhanced tires can improve braking in poor weather conditions by 40%. With these graphene stats we may be poised to see a turn in the traditional tire industry.
Good News Roundup
Story number one: Tesla’s Cybertruck is set to join Dubai’s police force, according to Engadget. This is pretty cool.
Story number two: Also per Engadget, nearly 40% of online Black Friday purchases were made with smartphones. I know because I did it. People spent $2.9 billion using their phones versus $2.1 billion last year.
Story number three: Tomorrow, December 3, is giving Tuesday. Giving Tuesday is a day that encourages people to do good. It’s a worldwide movement that inspires hundreds of millions of people to give, collaborate and celebrate generosity. To participate, we can give our time, voice, dollars, goods, talents and most of all kindness.
Since its inception in 2012, Giving Tuesday has collectively raised more than $1 billion and is projected to break the $500 million mark tomorrow. To learn more about this tremendous day, visit GivingTuesday.org.
Hudson’s Insights
I’m looking at three things this week.
First, I saw late last week that Fidelity got approval from New York State for cryptocurrency trading, which is a big potential on ramp for crypto because Fidelity manages a ton of retail money. That’s an interesting development.
Second, this week we are looking at the Saudi Aramco IPO that should trade in Saudi Arabia. Most of the equity being raised is going to be coming likely from regional investors and a small number of international investors who are able to access the Saudi market. That’s going to be a big one and something interesting to look at.
Eventually, I think they will come to the western markets but this first experimentation with privatization is going to be with their local market.
Finally, the big news I saw this weekend is the New York Stock Exchange (NYSE) submitted a proposal to the SEC that will allow issuers to raise new capital alongside direct listings. This is sort of a hybrid approach coming to the public market.
It sounds a lot like a traditional IPO, just without the lockup. What will this mean? I think it will mean there will be more stock coming to the market upon listing as opposed to six months later when the lockup expires and the big venture capital investors and founders can sell.
I also think it means that more institutional investors will be participating in these companies earlier. We’ve maintained that institutional investors mostly wait for the new earnings reports. At least a couple earnings reports to gain confidence and for the large blocks of stocks they need to accumulate a significant position.
I think now they are going to accelerate their diligence, do a lot more work upfront earlier and be willing to make a bet on these untested management teams earlier if they can get enough stock at a lower valuation to compensate for that risk. I think that’s a big development we will see playing out in 2020. I’m curious what ends up happening with the SEC ruling on that. It’s definitely something to watch out for.
Paul on New Stock Market Highs
The stock market is making new highs. GDP. Recession is missing. All through 2018 and 2019 this was the drumbeat: There’s going to be a recession, there’s going to be a crisis, there’s going to be a crash. And nothing. We never even got close.
We have told you in every Market Talk that we never saw signs of a recession. For sure there was a slowdown. We may have talked ourselves into that just by all the things that were being put out because of a choice by financial media to focus on the most negative elements of what is going on.
However, we’ve been telling you throughout 2019 to stay invested. Now that stock markets are making new highs, please do not have “gains panic”. Many people seeing the stock market or their stocks at new highs are going to feel like they need to do something.
It’s the same feeling people get when stocks are declining rapidly. You feel this physical urge to do something. What you need to do is follow the Rules of the Game we tell our readers about. If you have money set aside, you are equal weighted, you have never gone all in on any single stock and you’ve bought in over time, maybe you’ve taken a little profit here or there to build your cash reserve, but there’s nothing you need to do.
You have done the hard work by being the strong hands. This is the benefit you have gained by enduring through that volatility. All the folks who sold last year out of panic are now in a panic to get in. This is why stocks are being bid higher every day, day after day. Of course the financial media is now telling you they have gone too far too fast, it’s overvalued and all these other things.
We would tell you that new highs are a good sign. They are a sign of confidence in our markets, confidence in our economy and a sign that people who are bidding these higher and holding it also see better times coming. Higher sales and better earnings. Please remember, no gains panic. Stay in our stocks. Be strong hands through a much easier scenario, which is seeing your stocks bid up.
At Bold Profits we favor innovation-based stocks around our big megatrends: Internet of Things, artificial intelligence, block chain, precision medicine, new energy, the rise of the millennial generation. A lollapalooza of all this coming together is just beginning.
We’ve been hinting about it in Market Talks. It’s America 2.0. All these megatrends coming together with this demographic shift. It starts to come together to build a new America, which somebody looking at us even 20 years ago will not recognize. I mean that in a good way.
Technology begins to transform the way we live, how we do things and all the elements of innovation that matter. It makes things better in so many different ways. If you are interested in these kinds of stocks, this week my publisher is going to be sending out emails for you to get in on my True Momentum service.
We are going to put in my number one pick for 2020 in this service. If you want to get in on that, check out True Momentum is our best-performing service. It focuses on what is referred to as mid-cap stocks. Stocks that have a market capitalization of $3 billion and higher. It’s been annualizing at something in the range of 45% or so.
That’s because these companies are in that perfect moment where they are coming to the market for the first time with a service, product or solution that has wide appeal. The growth rate is the strongest so people come to bid it up in a big way. I’m going to put in an incredible stock that I believe has a capability to at least do what the other stocks have done.
Our minimum target for all stocks that go into True Momentum is 300%. If you’re interested in that, click here. It will send you to the webpage that will get you the details to get in.
We focus on the good news. We tell you everything that’s going on, rather than the bad news media. Tell us, what did you do in 2018? Even the first half of 2019? Were you the strong hands? Did you hold on? Are you making more money? Comment below and let us know if you were the strong hands. Let us know what you did.
Regards,
Paul Mampilly
Editor, Profits Unlimited
0 notes
thechristinahackett · 6 years
Text
In His Basement
I needed a new beginning, something new. I was asked to re-locate 2 hours away from home and I was ready for it. Career was something I was really focused on, everything else would simply come together eventually - The optimistic in me. 
I didn't know anyone and I had exactly 2 weeks to find somewhere to live before I started my new job. Finding a roommate didn't work out and after living with many questionable roommates, I needed my own space.  

I just came out of a crisis, I was missing something. A sense of adventure, I was looking to learn something new, gain new experiences. I was optimistic and ready to go. 

I came across a quaint apartment on Craigslist and e-mailed stating I'd like to arrange a time where we could face time so I can virtually see the place. It was all inclusive and 10 minutes from work. This was exactly what I wanted after having terrible roommate experiences for the most part of my 20's. 

We arranged a time to chat - A gentleman around his late 40's answered the video chat. His name was Ron. He explained to me what the apartment building itself was like and made it sound like he lived in a separate apartment in the house itself.
He showed me the basement. He quickly went over the kitchen and storage room but really empathized the newly upgraded washroom and bedroom. 
The room was quite large - largest room I would ever live in were my thoughts exactly. 

I told him I'd be interested in renting the unit. 

A week before moving day, I finally got to visit the unit. 
I already paid first and last, so there was no going back. This trip was for decorative measures. 

He brought us thru the front door and showed us his living space - where I later found out he would share with 3 university students upstairs. 
 He also brought me up to his room, just to show off his part of the house. He lived in the attic, with a single bed without any sheets on the mattress with multiple stains on the comforter. He also had a little make-shift loft for his son who would come to visit once a week.
 After his personal house tour, he took me to the basement. It didn't look like the layout I saw on face time, he had wonderfully played off the kitchen- one that didn't have a sink nor a hood over the oven. 
The space I wanted to call a living room ended up being a place where all the other tenants were to store their items. 
In the washroom, there was a door to a wine cellar, he didn't show me this door via facetime so when I opened the door I was a little push back with a dark, cold and empty cellar was right there beside the place I'd shower. 
The hallway that led me to my bedroom was also the laundry room where it was stated that it was a common space. 
I was very disappointed leaving my new home after my initial visit, but I was so ready to leave everything behind and try something new. Plus I spent all my money on first and last so I was stuck from the get go. 
 
Fast forward to September 1st, move in day. Nobody was home, but I received a message saying the keys were in the BBQ. As I finally unlocked the door for the first time, I realized how old and unstable the lock felt. In the bbq I found 4 keys - which I had no idea what these keys were there for. 

I went to close the door behind me but the door wasn't closing. I noticed if I wanted to lock the door behind me I had to use one of the keys. After trying all 3 keys, of course the 4th one worked. I walked into the basement to analyze my new situation, I noticed a few dents near the bottom of the stairs to the front door but didn't think anything of it.
Curiosity had the best of me, so I checked the cellar. I noticed red stains that I didn't notice before.
At the time, I realized I was in some sort of euphoric state of mind because there were so many red flags starting off the bat.
Within the first two weeks, I had a wasp infestation and literal human shit come up the drain. Eventually, the wasp went away (thank you winter) and I didn't see any more literal shit come up, so I thought the nightmare was finally over. - When I brought this up to him, he brushed it off his shoulders and put the blame on me.
Flash forwarded to Christmas time 
Everyone left for the holidays besides Ron and I. A few times, he asked if I wanted some company and to have a drink with him. On multiple occasions I said no. 

A few nights before Christmas, Ron had a friend over. 
Him and his guest were having some drinks and talking quite loudly. I decided to watch a movie and head to bed. 
 I woke up around 3 am to a woman screaming. I messaged Ron, to see if it was from inside the house or if I was delusional. 

The next morning, I woke up and I noticed a bottle of wine in my kitchen with a note attached "Sorry for being loud last night." 

I chuckled, thinking it was for sure a woman screaming from pleasure and not from terror. 

Since that night, I had an eery feeling about him something wasn't right. 
I had nightmares that felt so real of him standing over my bed watching me at night and coming into my room and trying to touch me while I slept. 

Eventually, he started dating a girl - The girl I assumed was screaming horrifically around Christmas.  

Winter hit hard and Ron had been quite manipulative in the way he spoke to myself and by the sounds of it with the other girls in the house too. 
He went away for 2 weeks and within that time the heat didn't work and we experience multiple power outages. I was sleeping in a unit that was as cold as the -25 weather outside. I slept with a coat on. 

A man came to inspect our boiler, as he inspected it he observed the size of the heater. "There is no way this small boiler will heat your entire home." 
 Great. The ground hog didn't see his shadow so no doubt there were 6 more weeks of winter left.
I was out most of the time, either crashing on the couch at a friends place or staying late at work. 

The girls and I kept in contact while all of the heating/power issues were going on. 
Ron arrived home, angry and frustrated that we ruined his vacation by simply implying his house was unfit to rent. He would play his guitar late into the night and slam every door in his path. He would make crude comments and constantly put any problems we brought up aside.

One of the girls mentioned that there was a girl living in the basement when they looked at the house but she quickly decided to move out as they were moving in.
An anonymous tip was sent to the fire marshal and he showed up at the house. The fire marshal gave Ron a large list of things he had to fix. He was angrier than ever not knowing who made the anonymous tip. 

He made a point saying that his house was the best house on the street with the latest and greatest technology - Meanwhile the thermostat had batteries that actually were corroded which made sense why the heat wasn't working for so long. Even after he changed the thermostat, the basement never went above 20 celsius. 

He was more uptight than ever afterwards. I was instructed that I was no longer able to make toast, cook on my stove nor could I even use the microwave. 

The other tenants, didn't feel right with sharing their kitchen with me (mostly because they wanted to make the "we didn't sign up for this" point and I agreed. 

I was too afraid to mention anything about my rent and how I was still paying the same price and had nothing but problems. I had a feeling that he wouldn't like it very much.  
Spring hit, I found out the girls upstairs had an 8 month lease and were leaving in a few days. I had just dealt with a minor flood in the basement, luckily in the kitchen space I wasn't allowed to use anymore.
Ron offered me cheaper rent to live upstairs since i've had nothing but problems downstairs. I had a feeling I should stay where I am comfortable and that was not living around him. 

After the girls upstairs moved out, Ron offered to leave the door to the living space so I could actually cook food again. At first I was hesitant, but I was over spending $40 a day on breakfast, lunch and dinner for the last two months.     

I had a feeling I was scammed, being dishonest and I should stay away. 
After the girls left, things got worse. 
Ron and his girlfriend broke up and he was drinking every night. I would go to cook dinner and he'd be drunk on the couch trying to start a conversation with me. I was nervous around him.
One night I wanted to make home made spaghetti and I dropped a few pans coming up the stairs and he yelled at me for an hour and a half for being more careful and more respectful in his house. 

The next day, he noticed a chip on the stairs and assumed it was from me dropping my pans. I was coming out of a shower and he was filling up the laundry machine with clothes. He saw me walk by and asked about the chip - To say the lease about the stairs, they were old and he had just painted them a bright Christmas green. He proceeded to yell at me while I was in a towel. I eventually started crying and told him I couldn't have this conversation in a towel. 

I went into my bedroom and felt humiliated. I cried until I had to go to work. His car was blocking mine in so I had to talk to him again to move it. 
I went up to the front door and knocked. When I heard the door turning my stomach went into a huge knot. 
I asked him to move the car, he smiled at me. 
"Not a problem" was his only answer. 

That night the nightmares were back. I had woken up 3 times during the night thinking I saw him at the corner of my bed. I would cover myself with two pillows, suffocating me until I went back to sleep.   
I started to do investigating every night wondering how I could escape this lease. I would spend hours trying to find out everything about him and the history of the house. I became an insomniac.
Throughout the night, I would hear the floor creek, doors open and close. 
I went to City Hall the next morning after finding an article on rental licenses and basements. Turns out it's quite hard to meet the requirements for a basement let alone a whole house. 

I went up to the clerk at city hall and asked to see documentation from previous house inspections.  The report from the fire marshal was the most surprising, it simply states that the basement was a fire hazard and in-fact nobody should be living there. The clerk also brought to my attention that he doesn't actually have a rental license. 
I was furious, I went home to speak to Ron about my finding and inform him that I will be taking legal action. 
The second I finished my sentence, he smiled at me and said that's fine and that he would be reference for my next place and provide me with last months rent back. He than offered me a drink. I was so nervous about having this conversation with him especially from the previous interactions. I thought I should take him up on his offer. 
We chatted about life, his line of work and the business I was running. We talked about life and his relationship that ended a few weeks ago. 
I had two drinks before I decided to get ready for bed.  

Finally, a moment of relief I thought to myself heading down the stairs. I was finally ready for bed and was quite tired. Within 7 minutes I was completely knocked out.
I woke up in the middle of the night and saw a figure in the corner. This time, I felt the need I had to pinch myself. It felt very much like the previous dreams i've had that felt so real. I wanted to make sure it was actually a dream. 

I pinched myself, I was awake. I turned on the light and Ron was standing right in front of the door with a knife, smiling.
My heart instantly dropped to my stomach. I had a tool box near my vanity table with a heavy duty hammer. I lunged towards my vanity table, opening up my tool box as he quickly made his way to stop me. 

He grabbed my foot and tugged me away from the toolbox. My hands grasping the open tool box trying my hardest to reach for the hammer. 
He slashed my right shoulder with the knife and hopped on top of me while I screamed. With my left hand, I clenched the hammer and started swinging. I swung my hammer towards his left hand - the hand holding the knife. He dropped the knife, I hit him so hard I could already see the bruise forming in his arm. I swung again, this time hitting his throat - missing my main target - his head. He was breathless. I had no intentions of killing anyone. I just wanted to escape. 

I frantically looked around my room for my keys - which were completely out of sight. 

Ron started to get back up, I had no choice. I swung my hammer at his head and he was knocked out. 
I checked his pulse, it was still going. 

At this point, I was looking for my phone and keys. My heart was pounding not knowing how much longer I had before he woke up. 

I decided to go into the washroom in hops i'd find my keys between the three places I usually place them and break the window in the washroom to escape. I locked the door behind me. The windows had a foggy layer - for privacy. Once I broke thru the first layer of the window, I noticed bars. I officially felt like a prisoner. 

I knew if I wanted to escape I would have to find the key. I went to my kitchen and grabbed a fillet knife. I was dizzy from the loss of blood. My right shoulder growing more and more sore as I tried not to move it much.
I went back into my room, Ron was gone. I locked my bedroom door, clenching the fillet knife. I opened my bedroom window and cut threw the screen, I dragged the chair from my vanity table to allow myself to hop out of the window. 

I started to climb out the window and then all the sudden, I heard Ron use all his body force against the door. 

I threw the knife away - because I'm not an animal who runs with a knife. 

I had no idea where I was going. It was around 5:30 am in the morning on a Tuesday night. The dark sky started to lighten up, yet nobody was around. 

I knew I was safe because I parked in front of his truck. There was no way he'd be able to get out to find me. 

My feet started to hurt from sprinting on the concrete with no shoes on and possible glass shards shooting thru my foot. I was bloody, cut up and screaming at the top of my lunges hoping someone would hear and call the cops. 

I came across a park, I decided to walk on the grass to give my feet a break and maybe i'd run into someone with a phone - It's common to see joggers this early, I thought to myself seeing people do that in movies.
I caught my breath.
I was limping, the adrenaline from what I had just experience and the lack of blood in my system, I fell to the ground. 

I woke up in a dark, cold room. 

All I had was a thin pillow and one granola bar, a cup of trails mix and a bit of water. How humane as I laughed at the satire that had became my life. 
Where was I? How did Ron get ahold of me? 
 I tried to open the door but it was completely locked.
The room was so small, narrow and yet, so familiar. This must be the end. I was confused, scared and ill.- I didn't have enough energy in my system to scream again.
I fainted from taking it all in.
The next time I woke up was from the heat. Can't I finally just die already? The room was humid, I couldn't breathe. I crawled over to the door and felt the door. I could feel how intensely hot it was getting. 
If the house was indeed on fire like I presumed it was - I was thankful some how the smoke never got in. 
 I took my very thin pillow and curled up into the furthest corner from the door. I used the very thin pillow to cover my face and cover my ears.

I weeped in his basement one last time. 

I woke up 2 months later in a hospital bed, day by day trying to recall everything that happened, every red flag I missed, every mistake I made.
Where is he now? Is he alive? How did I make it out alive? How did he find me? How long was I out for?  
Sometimes, we experience things to learn from their mistakes, to see signs more clearer, to observe more keener and to take action before the consciences.
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