#im super funny about food hygiene

[mmmfanfiction]

Dude, I just saw your hc for flippy/flipqy injured reader and I love the way you write! You don't have to take this request but isn't okay if I request a flippy/flipqy x fem!reader whose on her period? (im on mine currently so that's why!)

Thank you so much!! (Both for the compliments and being my first ask :)) I hope this is written well, because most of it I was writing late at night and got super excited to post-

(also funny coincidence that I’m on my period too-)

Flippy

🧸I expect Flip to be the kind of guy who will drown you in blankets and heating pads.

🧸Like- just a mountain of hand knitted blankets ontop of you. You cannot move.

🧸If you’re craving any food he will instantly go out and get it. 

🧸Probably really nervous to leave you alone but also anxious you’ll run out of hygiene products or pain killers.

🧸Especially if you get really painful cramps.

🧸On the topic of ✨pain,✨ if you’re having a particularly painful cramp he will instantly run to your side.

🧸A gentle hand on your back while the other is around your waist, just barley touching you.

🧸Flippy tries not to give you too many pain killers because he’s afraid it’ll end up messing with your system, or eventually stop working(don’t quote me on this I don’t know how painkillers actually work) on you

🧸But if you really need them Flippy will quickly grab them for you because… Blankets preventing any possible movement-

🧸100% your getting lots of hugs and cuddles.

🧸Flip thinks you’re so fuckin strong for dealing with this like every month, but he also wants to do whatever he can to relieve some of that stress or pain that comes from having a period from your shoulders.

Fliqpy

🔪Fliqpy is the heating pad in this situation.

🔪I don’t know why but all I can picture is him just laying on you eclipsing your entire body.

🔪Every few hours or so he’ll reluctantly get off of you and go get snacks and hygiene products.

🔪Unlike Fliqpy, he definitely uses painkillers more freely with you, but that’s only because he knows he’s not gonna overuse them.

🔪If you have more painful cramps, he’s definitely going to be at least a bit worried(though he pretends he isn’t.)

🔪If you ask him I think you might be able to convince him to carry you around the house.

🔪He’d probably complain about it tho, just a little bit-

🔪If your cramps are getting in the way of your sleeping, like, too uncomfortable to sleep, Fliq will stay up with you and watch a movie while holding you in his arms till you can manage to sleep.

🔪The only other image I get in that scenario is chloroform but we don’t talk about that-

🔪Honestly I think in this case he’d let a sweeter side of himself show. Even if just a slight bit.

edit: I forgot to mention that I hope your period isn’t too painful this month🫶

[jthmstims]

The only person I've met in detail is Nny, but go off all you other funky little critters: 🦋, ⭐️, 🍞, and idk, 🎀? xoxo, Linkynn

🦋- what’s everyone’s favorite colors?

i really like black and white if those count as colors, red and purple are cool too though

the others that i know for sure are lily LOVES loves loves purple, tess really likes dark greens, bruce likes that one rusty orange color, and dib likes dark blue. the others either havent given it a lot of thought or dont care

⭐️- what are everyone’s roles?

im honestly not like... super educated on system roles since im personally kind of new to speaking to other systems but umm im the current host (FOR SOME REASON. IDK WHO LET ME BE IN CHARGE) so i deal with most daily stuff but im not around every single day, our current protectors are hank + gabe, our trauma holders are probably dib and lily, and lily is the previous host, (current cohost i guess) tess deals with hygiene/similar stuff and some social things, jenny is good at remembering to eat (LOL) and i guess bruce and jack play the role of the "angry" alters if that makes sense? idk

🍞- what’s everyone’s favorite foods/drinks/whatever else?

i really really like sushi. thats about it? i eat a lot of like gas station food and that sort of stuff, but if im being honest i do not eat very much at all. which is probably an issue but whatever

russ really likes garlic bread, pizza and pineapple (and all of the above together) lily is a big fan of sweets and roasted zucchini but will honestly be happy with anything, dib likes takeout food and ramune soda, (and italian soda) jenny likes Literally Anything but is a big fan of baked goods and pancakes

🎀- free space ! feel free to talk about whatever you want :D

ummmm it is russ' birthday tomorrow ^__^ (the 23rd)

also i think its really funny (not really) that there have been multiple occurrences of alters hiding from me and pretending to be others idk if thats normal or not but LOL

[peterthepark]

NSFW Alphabet

Steve Harrington x Reader

Warnings: smut, obviously nsfw, fluff

i think this gif may have killed me !

A - Aftercare

steve is really big on aftercare, especially if he was being a little rough with you

he’s a sweet guy, so he’s gently wiping at your skin with a hot towel, or brushing your hair as you lay against him, or giving you kisses in the places where it hurts

he’ll even cook food for you afterwards, even if it’s like four in the morning

steve makes sure that you’re okay. he’ll ask if he hurt you or if it was too much

with steve, he likes having you close to him. you do as much as possible to show him that you aren’t hurt and that you enjoyed

the only aftercare he needs is your presence if that makes sense

B - Body Part

steve loves everything about you, but if he had to choose, his favorite body part of yours would be your shoulders.

he loves leaving hickies and he loves kissing you there (but not as much as your lips)

when you’re on top, steve will sit up so he can bite down onto one of your shoulders because fuck you give it to him so well

your favorite body part of steve are his hands

they’re so soft and warm and big

you love holding onto them, especially during sex because it comforts you

you play with his hands a lot

but also his hands are really good for other things

C - Cum

when you and steve had just started having sex with one another, he would use a condom

but as time progressed, he slowly became more adventurous and needy

he’d cum on your back, or your stomach, sometimes even in your mouth if you’d let him

although

you decided to take the pill

steve had gone wild

like the good wild

he isn’t sure about it at first cause what if you get pregnant

but he starts to cum inside you

he’ll give one deep thrust before he cums and you FEEL him because he’s so deep and big and it’s kind of overwhelming but

steve’s new favorite place to cum is inside of you

D - Dirty Secret

you and steve have this polaroid camera

i think you can see where this is going

so when you surprise him with shit like lingerie

or after intimate moments such as sex

steve will snap a picture because he’s so entranced by your beauty and he wants to capture these moments

he has a collection of all the polaroids in a shoe box that is under his bed

there’s some polaroids of him in there too

his favorite one of you is where you’re sitting on your calves, and you’re looking over your shoulder at him

and there’s a few hickies on your lower back

steve loves that one

your favorite one of his is from when you were on top, and you both had literally just finished

but steve had this glow and you knew you had to take a picture

“steve, i just need you to be serious! one time!”

so steve has his arm behind his head, his hair is somehow suddenly perfect, and he’s looking at the camera with such a lustful gaze

it’s the only good picture of him so you took it for yourself

but he doesn’t know that you also took the silly ones where steve has a bra on his face, or he’s trying to wear said bra, or he has your panties over his head, and that time where you guys literally broke the bed and steve just laid there

“please? one more round?”

“the bed is fucking broken, baby. but can i least take a picture?”

E - Experience

before dating one another, both you and steve have had sex before

like once (him with nancy and you with some guy from senior year)

so you guys are fairly new at all this

but your first time with him is still perfect

steve knows what he’s doing because as he says ‘it’s not rocket science’

cocky bastard

steve can last long during sex but he can’t last long when you give him a blowjob

because no one has done that before with him

and he fucking loves it

F - Favorite Position

steve loves missionary

he likes being able to see your face and your reactions

he can also go really deep which he knows you like but he’ll stop when it gets too much

steve also loves seeing you ride him

your breasts are in his face, he can bite down onto your shoulder, and he can kiss you

your favorite position is also missionary

but doggystyle hits differently

like it actually hits differently

one time you cried

steve stopped right away

“did i hurt you? oh, jesus-“

“no, no. it just felt so good.”

it was that amazing

G - Goofy

you both are super goofy during sex

it’s sickening

like a quarter of those polaroids are goofy shit so

steve can’t stop cracking jokes

you’ll both laugh if one of you says something a little too crazy or funny during dirty talk

dirty talk is difficult sometimes because you guys can’t stop laughing at yourselves

“you like that, Y/N? yeah? like it when i-“

then steve just laughs at himself

because what the fuck is he saying

you have to make him pause because you’re dying of laughter

half the time he can’t even continue because you’re STILL LAUGHING

“Y/N! i am literally so hard right now, please stop laughing. i have to get this over with, please! im in pain!”

H - Hair

steve doesn’t have a lot of hair down there

he trims to keep it short

he’s pretty good with hygiene which is great (get yourself someone with good hygiene please)

as for you, steve doesn’t really care what you do down there

body hair is natural

he doesn’t shame you for having any or none

as long as he can please you

I - Intimacy

steve is a professional romantic

he loves to make love to you

he never forgets to kiss you during sex

he never forgets to tell you that he loves you

you guys have a very intimate dynamic and it helps your relationship a lot

J - Jack Off

BECAUSE of the polaroids that steve has of you

he’s able to jack off in his spare time pretty easily

of course, he asked you for permission if he could use the pictures for that purpose

cause he didn’t want to creep you out or disrespect you in case you weren’t okay with it

he’s a moaning mess when he’s home alone

his hands are under the covers, he’s sitting up against his headboard as he stares down at the picture of you

you caught him one time

you stepped into his bedroom without knocking and there he was

sitting on the edge of the bed, his back to you

and you can see his hand moving really quickly so you immediately know what’s happening

“baby?”

and he cums right there

“Y/N! did you - uh- mmm - hello?”

he’s so flustered and embarrassed

but you found it so hot

K - Kink

i think we all know that steve has a hair-pulling kink

and a daddy kink but he hasn’t really explored it fully

you like to tease him about it because you were there when he called himself daddy in front of a car (season 3 spoilers?)

“what does daddy want for dinner?”

“does this dress look nice, daddy?”

apparently the dress was so nice that steve ripped it as he fucked you

so yes he does have a daddy kink

and you love it

steve also has a thing for lingerie (is that a kink idk)

he’s fairly young so he doesn’t have too many wild kinks

L - Location

steve isn’t afraid to fuck you in his car

or in yours

when you’re waiting for him to close up scoops ahoy for the night

you’ll tease the shit out of him

so steve takes you to the backroom and gives it to you really good

even though it’s against company policy to do that kind of shit

but screw company policy

M - Motivation

steve likes to hear you

he likes hearing your moans, his name, just any sort of vocal cue that you’re enjoying

it keeps him going

he’s turned on by a lot of things

when he’s at your house and you happen to not be wearing a bra

and he can see your nipples through his shirt that you’re wearing

you ride steve on the sofa in seconds

but also he gets turned on during random moments because hormones

he’s a dog

N - Nope

steve doesn’t like degrading you

you’re a beautiful woman who deserves to be treated well

he hates that shit

steve doesn’t want to hurt you or make you any less of a person

O - Oral

steve could eat you out for days

he is certainly a giver rather than a receiver

he enjoys seeing you writhe and moan

his mouth is talented

but also steve is a sucker haha get it for when you give him blowjobs

he doesn’t last long during those

P - Pace

steve was in sports so as expected, he has a great deal of stamina

he’s fast

so fast

but sometimes steve will go slow

when he’s teasing you or when you’ve had a bad day and you just need him there

he often prefers a slower pace because he can feel all of you

and it also conserves him some energy for round two

and round three

maybe a round four

Q - Quickie

steve doesn’t really like quickies

unless he’s really really horny then you’ll have one

it’s a rare thing between you two because steve likes to savor the moment

R - Risk

steve likes to play it safe

unless you want to try something

he likes sticking to your normal antics

and again, he’s pretty young so he enjoys what you have in your sex life right now

S - Stamina

as mentioned, steve has a lot of stamina!

he can go on for a couple rounds unless it’s a blowjob then he’s done for

steve can only last till the third round

but he will stop anytime you want

if you’re too tired or too sensitive, he’ll stop

even if he hasn’t came

T - Toys

steve doesn’t own any toys

he doesn’t really care for them

unless it’s YOUR toys

then he’ll use them on you

U - Unfair

steve is a giant tease

it’s irritating

on occasions, he’ll edge you

till you’re begging him

“what’s the word?”

“please, steve.”

V - Volume

you both are pretty loud

steve isn’t afraid to moan

you both enjoy being vocal as possible

unless someone’s parents are home

then you have to stay really quiet

which is so hard

you guys laugh louder than you moan to be honest

there’s a lot of laughing

W - Wildcard

steve always asks for consent

even if it’s clear that you really want him

he does it anyways because that’s the PROPER WAY TO DO IT

consent

is

important

https://www.thehotline.org/2013/04/16/what-is-healthy-consent-what-isnt-consent/

X - X-ray

steve has an average sized dick

let��s be honest here

but it’s still pretty biggg ;)

he’s more on the thicker side

that’s it

steve has a nice dick

Y - Yearning

steve has a fairly high sex drive

c’mon

he’s a boy dealing with hormones

so he’s horny for a good amount of time

but he controls himself

he may be a dog but he is not a RABID dog

Z - Zzz

you pee before you go to sleep with steve

UTIs are real ladies

but anyways

steve is a sleepyhead

so he’ll fall asleep pretty easily

he usually waits for you to get back to him before he closes his eyes

but sometimes he’s really exhausted and can’t help it

it’s okay with you

he’s a good boyfriend

[red--hair--dont--care]

first post 😏

so ill start off by saying hi, you can call me lucy.. or whatever you want, tbh i dont really care about names or specific pronouns. i never let it bug me but please dont go out of your way to be mean, be a decent person and treat people with some basic kindness and everything will be okay. ☺️

so you could say i havent come out yet, the only place i dont feel myself is at work but because coming out at work would be way to... complicating i decided to just not but still maintain the essence of who i am and not care what people said or how they looked at me. ive never really had to worry about taking shit from them or from really anyone becsuse apparently i have an always angry face even though most of the time im not even angry lol. but because of that it keeps peoples comments to themselves. im not very engaging so conversation would end up being very one sided. im okay with this work arrangement i just hope eventually i can get a job where i can be me how i want to be without having to worry about things becoming complicated. outside of work i am me i try to dress gender neutral just because i dont feel i am able to pass yet(though the makeup girl at the spa thought i was a girl but as soon as i opened my mouth she was like omg im so sorry. it was pretty funny it didnt like offend me or anything at all, i let things like that go or else it would bug me to no end.) i have anxiety but i deal with it well by not spending too much time thinking about it all and just go about my business. and ive learned mosy people are oblivious or dont even care. i have noticed its more elderly women that give me stares but i think its funny 😋 i try to wear clothes that are subtly feminine so i can wear what is comfortable and what fits but also not be clocked by every nosey person in the grocery store. i dont wear alot of makeup when im out if any at all, its usually lip gloss, a little mascara, and filled in eyebrows.

Ive been on hrt for about a month but the end of 2017 all of 2018 i spent 'pre' transitioning. i got rid of all my guy clothes except one or two outfits for work i started ordering clothes online and from thrift stores and slowly aquired almost a whole wardrobe lol.

i tried herbal supplements for feminizing and breast growth pills, the first 3 months of that i felt like shit all the time, hormones were everywhere.. it was a mess. (i feel like because i went all through that proir to actual hrt that by body got used to feeling like shit and everything else so it was like prepared and toughened up the next time around. if that makes sense) i noticed breast growth that went away and havent had any of it since. i got super sensitive and hurt to touch but none of that happens anymore, im not sure why..

i started to shave every week and been doing it since but has gotten so much easier and quicker over time (it still takes forever) eventually i got a laser hair remover and started using it but it was hard to use it every week because im lazy lol but i still use it, im not sure if it works but im just gonna keep using it and im sure it will help to get rid of my facial hair over time. i started transitioning from using cheap hygiene supplies to more expensive ones then to home made ones. since ive done that my skin has gotten noticeably better, i use African black soap that i buy but the rest of it i make using different things you can find in your kitchen. i hope taking care of my skin in this way will pay off later on and so far it looks better then my old routine.

so ive been on estridol and spiro for about a month now, the first things that i noticed a few days after starting was i was happy again, like the weel before i felt horrible i was unhappy with myself, i felt dull. i dont think it was a placebo because i wasnt expecting anything to happen. so i can say that my experience has been a positive one so far. i havent had any breast changes like sensitivity or soreness or anything. i was using a pump almost daily before i started hrt and so my chest was already soft and squshy and protruding a little. im not too worried about it i just hope that they start, ive heard of girls having it start then stop and not do anything. i just want to be able to wear a bra because i need to not because thats 'what youre supposed to do if your a girl'

Ive alway been skinny and not weighed over 130 but i hope this will change that, i have already lost what little muscle i had, my arms are lean so they still look muscular but i think with time they will smooth out. i have very thin hips so im hoping i will get wider and my thighs will thicken up, to help that along im doing butt and leg exercises along with stretching and yoga i guess. (i dont call it yoga)

I know that diet is a big part of the results you end up with so ive started eating better then i was before. and im trying to eat more too, ive always had a tough time eating because i have little to no appetite, i just dont find food appealing most times. ive started drinking more water and now i have to pee every hour lol. its not so bad h20 will help keeping my liver and kidneys from taking too much.

so im not really sure what else i should include in this post, im sure i forgot some things but thats okay they will come to me☺️ if you made it down this far thank you for listening i hope you have a wonderful day and dont forget that you are not alone. 😘💜

#firstpost #girlslikeus #trans #transgender #transgirl #transcommunity #hrt #mtf #transisbeautiful

[shuubelly]

A Very Normal Week, 18.03.20🌻

  Hello~~

  It’s been a somewhat long week since my last entry and I’m not sure what to type, like i didn’t go anywhere interesting or do anything fun, so I’ll just update what has happened or what I’ve been doing recently.

 My birthday was over recently and i didn’t really do much because I’m suuuuper anti-social and i love being a potato couch so that’s what i did. My super cool mom gave me a radio-cd player and i love it so much, I’ve been complaining since last year when i started collecting anime and jpop albums that i want a cd player, but it was too expensive so i never got it, but my mom surprised me with it. Honestly i never thought she’d get it for me because she was the first to oppose it strongly and said it was a waste of money. And look, now im using it everyday. On my birthday, i didn’t tell anyone because i just think its so awkward for people to wish me happy birthday or sing me a birthday song. Like firstly, how do i respond??? When someone wishes me happy birthday what do i say? Thanks you too???? And during a birthday song what am i supposed to do??? Happy birthday to myself and be awkward?? I’m a very socially awkward person and i don’t do well when im at the center of attention so my birthdays are nightmares to me lolol. And secondly, idk what is so special about a birthday. Like I’m just born and that’s all. Everyone also has it so what’s so special? To me, a birthday is just any other normal day. So that was my birthday week, i didn’t do much but stay home, listen to jpop, watch some anime, and study.

  I also decided to eat healthily recently:D I’ve been motivated to lose weight and be slimmer because i wanna wear the clothes i like. Currently I’m kinda chubby everywhere and there’s this acquaintance of mine who keeps making fun and mocking me and i don’t feel very happy because of that. I know that i shouldn’t listen to him, in fact i don’t really favor him that much, but i just thought, if i lost weight, i will be happier because i can look good for myself. To be honest, I don’t think I’m that blubbery, I’m around average, but there are many clothes i want to wear but cannot like crop tops, sleeveless, shorts or skinny jeans. So if i change my diet I will be able to lose enough weight to wear nice clothes too! So what i am doing now is that i have a 20 min exercise routine, and im trying to include as much natural foods as possible and using as little oil and salt as possible. I’m also trying to include healthy meats like salmon, although it might not be that cheap as compared to chicken breast, its a lot healthier and tastier, so i don’t mind spending that extra dollars.

  Okay so for the entertainment part, I finished watching Junjou Romantica!! It’s really nice and i can tell why a lot of people like it. I’m not one to comment on how good it is like plot-wise or anything as i haven’t watched much of this genre yet, but to my amateur taste, it’s really nice and funny. Like i didn’t feel uncomfortable watching it and there was a nice balance of plot and content. I’m currently thinking of whether i should start watching Sekaiichi Hatsukoi, but I’m trying to limit myself so that i can focus more on my studies but im really tempted><

  I also recently found eng subs for Quiz No Prince Sama: QUARTET NIGHT so i watched that all night and i also watch the STARISH one, but it didn’t have and eng sub so i had to rely on my inference skills as a humanities student. Honestly it was pretty hard haha but I’m sure the more i watch the more I’ll eventually understand. I’m currently thinking of learning Japanese independently, but i don’t i shpuld, i should focus on my languages instead for the big end of year exam right?? Sighh there’s so many thing i want to do but I cant’t because i need to catch up on my studies, i haven’t been very productive recently:<<

  So that’s all for today,, i have so many things i need to focus on, i have huge exams coming up that are going to impact my life and i need to really grind my studies for them. Everyone stay safe during this period!! It’s especially important to practice good hygiene and personal responsibility. We need to care not only for ourselves, but those around us who may be weaker. I’m pretty sure you’ve heard this many times but, don’t stay out too late and keep calm. Drink lots and lots of water and I’ll be back with my next entry:D

Cheers🌸🌸🌸

[wreackingbxll]

1. Who was the last person you held hands with? my mom
2. Are you outgoing or shy? outgoing
3. Who are you looking forward to seeing? no one 
4. Are you easy to get along with? yeah i think so
5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you? idk, i guess yeah
6. What kind of people are you attracted to? caring people who are easy to talk to and have humor/are funny 
7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now? no
8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind? no one
9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? nope
10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? my best friend
11. What does the most recent text that you sent say? asking my mom if she could get me water
12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now? ed sheerans new ones and a danish song, idk apart from that
13. Do you like it when people play with your hair? i love it
14. Do you believe in luck and miracles? nah 15. What good thing happened this summer? cant remember 
16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? no
17. Do you think there is life on other planets? in some way, yeah
18. Do you still talk to your first crush? no 19. Do you like bubble baths? yeah
20. Do you like your neighbors? yup
21. What are you bad habits? using my phone too much
22. Where would you like to travel? australia and USA are my most wanted
23. Do you have trust issues? yes
24. Favorite part of your daily routine? working out 25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with? everything but probably thighs 
26. What do you do when you wake up? get breakfast
27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker? dont care
28. Who are you most comfortable around? my mom
29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up? yes
30. Do you ever want to get married? yes
31. If your hair long enough for a pony tail? yeah
32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with? uuuuufff, maybe like zac efron and justin bieber
33. Spell your name with your chin. no i cant haha
34. Do you play sports? What sports? no i work out at the gym
35. Would you rather live without TV or music? TV
36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them? yeah
37. What do you say during awkward silences? nothing
38. Describe your dream girl/guy? cute, tall, funny, caring, good at listening and good to talk to, polite, mature, muscular (not to much but just you know), hygienic, nice clothing style, open and just super sweet 
39. What are your favorite stores to shop in? h&m i guess
40. What do you want to do after high school? i'm going to gymnasium soon 
41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? no
42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean? im sad, tired or just not in the mood for talking + im being comfortable around the person 
43. Do you smile at strangers? often 
44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean? both freaks me out 
45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning? knowing that im deciding what i want with my life and usually you can control your mood a lot more than you know so staying in bed all day won't help anything 
46. What are you paranoid about? basically everything haha
47. Have you ever been high? yeah
48. Have you ever been drunk? yeah
49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about? hm i don't think so
50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore? grey i think 
51. Ever wished you were someone else? yes
52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself? a lot of things
53. Favourite makeup brand? nilens jord 
54. Favourite store? idk
55. Favourite blog? idk
56. Favourite colour? black &a white or pastel colors 
57. Favourite food? oatmeal 58. Last thing you ate? an apple 
59. First thing you ate this morning? apple 
60. Ever won a competition? For what? handball competitions with my team 
61. Been suspended/expelled? For what? no
62. Been arrested? For what? no 
63. Ever been in love? yeah
64. Tell us the story of your first kiss? i was sitting with my best friend in an empty class room just talking and then he leans over to me and im like "uhm i have never done that before" and he said "me neither" and then we kissed 
65. Are you hungry right now? yes
66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends? i don't have tumblr friends 
67. Facebook or Twitter? facebook
68. Twitter or Tumblr? tumblr
69. Are you watching tv right now? nope
70. Names of your bestfriends? resh & alex
71. Craving something? What? just a lot 
of things 72. What colour are your towels? pink, white and purple 
72. How many pillows do you sleep with? two 
73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? no
74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have? i don't have them anymore 
75. Favourite animal? cats &a monkeys 
76. What colour is your underwear? black
77. Chocolate or Vanilla? mmmm both 
78. Favourite ice cream flavour? cookie dough or caramel chew chew - ben & jerry or oreo/daim ice cream 
79. What colour shirt are you wearing? white 
80. What colour pants? no pants
81. Favourite tv show? the vampire diaries 
82. Favourite movie? twilight saga 
83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2? idk 84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street? 21
85. Favourite character from Mean Girls? idk 
86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo? Nemo 
87. First person you talked to today? Mom
88. Last person you talked to today? Mom
89. Name a person you hate? my ex boyfriends mom, my best friends' ex boyfriend and a person at the gym who annoys me so much 
90. Name a person you love? my mom
91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now? yeah
92. In a fight with someone? no
93. How many sweatpants do you have? 2-3 i guess
94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have? around 5
95. Last movie you watched? twilight 
96. Favourite actress? idk
97. Favourite actor? idk
98. Do you tan a lot? no
99. Have any pets? yeah a cat 
100. How are you feeling? ok but tired 
101. Do you type fast? yes
102. Do you regret anything from your past? regretting won't help anything so no
103. Can you spell well? i guess
104. Do you miss anyone from your past? yes
105. Ever been to a bonfire party? no
106. Ever broken someone’s heart? probably yeah
107. Have you ever been on a horse? yes
108. What should you be doing? sleeping 
109. Is something irritating you right now? yeah
110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt? yes i still do 
111. Do you have trust issues? still yeah
112. Who was the last person you cried in front of? my mom
113. What was your childhood nickname? kath & musti 
114. Have you ever been out of your province/state? yes 
115. Do you play the Wii? no
116. Are you listening to music right now? no
117. Do you like chicken noodle soup? im vegetarian but yeah just don't eat it anymore 
118. Do you like Chinese food? yes
119. Favourite book? john greens books 
120. Are you afraid of the dark? no
121. Are you mean? something 
122. Is cheating ever okay? no
123. Can you keep white shoes clean? no
124. Do you believe in love at first sight? yeah a little bit 
125. Do you believe in true love? yes
126. Are you currently bored? yeah
127. What makes you happy? working out and being with the people i love
128. Would you change your name? no
129. What your zodiac sign? virgin 
130. Do you like subway? no
131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? talk to him about it 
132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? my best friend 
133. Favourite lyrics right now? idk 134. Can you count to one million? yeah
135. Dumbest lie you ever told? idk
136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed? closed 
137. How tall are you? 165 cm
138. Curly or Straight hair? straight 139. Brunette or Blonde? brunette 
140. Summer or Winter? winter
141. Night or Day? night
142. Favourite month? december 
143. Are you a vegetarian? yes
144. Dark, milk or white chocolate? dark
145. Tea or Coffee? coffee
146. Was today a good day? just started 
147. Mars or Snickers? mars
148. What’s your favourite quote? "Everything will be okay in the end, if it's not okay, it's not the end"
149. Do you believe in ghosts? no 
150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page? no

[booksbroadwaybbc]

Lets Transform Ourselves Day 30 "1 Month completed(review)" (pics on /r/dailyprogression) via /r/selfimprovement

Lets Transform Ourselves Day 30 "1 Month completed(review)" (pics on /r/dailyprogression)

Background information:

I'm a 20 year old Middle-eastern guy who's very figgity, impulsive and really only thinks about the short term benefits of everything. I used to be addicted to Gaming, but ever since i became 18 years old i decided to leave that part of me behind. I live in a lower-class home, we live off of welfare and I've had the fortune of being born with an above average-IQ which has led to me being able to go to university with a loan.

Last year 2017 December 17th I quit university, broke up with my girlfriend (whom i lived with for 4 months), ditched all my junky friends and moved back to my hometown.

So this is what I'll be doing every single day.

Waking up in the morning at 7:30 AM

Meditate for 10 minutes

Practise a skill/craft in my case Programming for 2 hours (not currently bec of holiday)

Walk for 2 hours per day

Do 60 Pushups + 240 Situps And Plank for 1 minute straight

Read a book (Currently : 4-Hour work week) for 2 Hours

Go cycling for 1 hour (not currently bec of holiday)

Be hygienic

Eat clean and track the calories that i'm taking

Log of 3rd of September - Current time 7:48 AM :

It's finally done, one whole month of logs and progress completed lets review this whole month and see in what area's I improved.Alright first is first, i'm waking up early every single day now and that means that I also have a lot of time to spare in order to be productive.Waking up early is a super good habit and i recommend anyone to do it if you want some more time for yourself or for your family.

Second thing is second, Meditation has been a very helpful tool for me to feel present in the moment and also get rid of anxiety. Meditation is one of those things which you don't see the positive effects right away but it does help in all area's of your life, you'll become more patient and mindful in any situation which will have its positive impacts.Practising my programming skills hasn't been as succesful as i wanted it to be as i just don't want to do it most of the times. I usually start off doing the "fun" things on the list and I guess programming isn't that much fun so i ended up procrastinating practising that skill.However I just started university and i'm doing "computer science' and I notice that i know a lot of information regarding my study, more than anyone really because I did practise programming in the summer holidays.

Walking 2 hour per day has been amazing for me both mentally and physically, whenever i needed energy I went out for a walk and every single time it was worth it. I felt more energized and awake and generally felt good about myself once the walk was over. Also it probably is the reason why i didn't become super swole/fat, since I do eat an average 2800 calories per day or so (this i gotta work on).I've also met many people on my walks.Doing the push-ups and sit-ups have also been a good influence on me, allthought it's a habit i started around day 10 or 9 i still reaped the benefits of it as my muscle looks more defined and I'm feeling stronger in body and spirit.At first i couldn't even do 60 push-ups and now I'm doing them with ease, same guys for the 240 sit-ups and 1.10 minute plank. funny thing is in the beginning my maximum planking time was just 30 seconds, now it's more than doubled !

I've also been reading books in this month of productivity, even though it's summer holidays reading is super important and really everyone should be doing it.I've read "12 rules of life" and i'm almost done with "4-hour workweek" Both books are very helpful self-help books.They're very enjoyable to read and I implement the rules i've learnt in either books on a daily basis.Hell "4-hour workweek" also thought me how to create passive income for myself and now i'm earning a good income per month by barely doing anything. I feel wiser and reading has become a fun activity rather than a dread.

Now I haven't been bicycling for a very long time (3 weeks or so) however the time i have been doing it has been a great win. I love bicycling as it's one of those activity's that lets you close your mind and just get on with things.It's a way for me to relieve my stress and actually also lose fat and become fit.Only thing I don't like about it is that there's a possibility i'll crash into a car, since im biking so damn fast every time I do.My hygiëne is also very important and I've been focusing a lot on this as well. In the past I used to shower every 3 days or so (i know disgusting) and now i'm showering at least 1 time per day, i put my face créme on in the morning and night time. I also wash my hands regularly, clean my room almost every single day and never forget to brush the teeth.This has been very helpful "clean room, clean mind" that's a great saying.

I did track my calories the past month however I didn't manage to yet eat clean and i think it's due to the holidays.I now have written down some foods I want to be eating on a daily basis and they mostly consist of high protein / high fibers. These foods aren't packed up with too many calories yet they do relieve hunger.i've eaten about 2800 calories on average and that's the reason why my body doesn't look very slim after exercising for a whole month, there's overal more definition in my muscle but that's about it.This month i'll be focusing more on decreasing my caloric intake.

Guys I've just started university and my schedule is going to be very different now as i don't have as much time as before.I'll be making a new schedule and edit the current one today.I hope y'all will have a great day today and please leave behind some feedback.

​

Pics on : r/dailyprogression

Submitted September 04, 2018 at 09:16AM by AttackPrince via reddit https://ift.tt/2Nfi0ah

[somedaypast-thesunset]

this was a really confusing shitty moment for me in my life, to be honest. 

i feel kind of vindicated but i dont? it’s really hard to seperate some of what he’s saying and maybe its just really hard to accept “it is what it is”. 

i dont feel like he loves me but i have the freedom to “feel like” he loves me while finding someone who does actually. like - no. i mean. i dont know. i dont know. i guess none of it matters. but it does because i now have this person in my life but like do i have this person in my life? to what capacity? am i allowed to have friends i see everyday? what are they to me? 

should i just go to work and come home and ignore all of it. 

i guess the whole thing is to stop questioning it and just let it be what it is but i dont know i dont get it. 

i guess also right now especially for the past 6 months ive been doing nothing. and my friend tried to kind of praise me for all these little accomplishments and it’s so trivial and what shoul i believe you know is my brain chemistry this way did trauma scar how i’d function an i have to work to train it differently? 

i’ve literally not cared at all and kind of depended on him to give me a purpose which is unhealthy but when you put really high stakes like a persons will to live then you kind of feel the need to stick around. 

not that that summarizes why he would have me in his life but it’s an added stresser to being in someones life. 

he’s leaving though. he’s just leaving. i wont be going with him. he said, “well you said you’d follow me and i want you in my life. you can do what you want.” i asked, “how can i possibly follow you? like i’m a seperate entity just following you around. we’ve never explained the logistics of when i’d have any opportunity to be apart of your future” 

to which he replied, “we’ll always be seperate entities. but i don’t want to feel like i’m dragging you with me or being weighed down in a responibility for you.”

i “get it”. i couldn’t explain like - would i travel in the same fucking vehicle as you? or am i just responsible for getting myself place to place? like this is something i would be willing to commit myself to because not a lot of people would want to do someting like this or dedicate themselves to it and i’ve lived an unconventional life by the means of other people and i think it’s fair to be able to choose to live one by the means of myself. 

no matter what, i have to improve myself though. but i guess if i thought i was “leaving” i would take different steps in my self improvement to prepare for a different journey in the long term. 

i spent two years kind of on that precipice. self improvement can happen at all stages in life in many ways and when you can see the journey you’re going to take, you can prepare. 

i know that if i continued to be in his life in any way while trying to better my life, it would be detrimental to the process because once he leaves on his “i dont know what i’m doing with my life journey” i’m probably never going to talk to him again simply out of spite and complete disinterest. like i know i will be so internally hurt that i will choose to just never talk to him again. i would never talk to my oshawa ex again. like if he tried to talk to me and tell me about his life which we already tried to do - i dont care. i literally just dont care. why the fuck do i care getting random ass phone calls or texts from you about your life? you are not like some long term friend. okay to ME i would choose not to be long term friends. 

why? because i never got what i wanted or needed from that person for whatever reason we stopped our initial closeness for so why should i maintain an interest in their life?

if he leaves with no care of how i’d logistically be in his life if i chose to follow him i would not have gotten what i wanted and needed from this relationship.

can i get that or should i just let it go? i guess i’m really at a “should i stay or go now” situation. will staying result in the same thing as the going now result but just taking a longer time to get there? or will i eventually communicate something to him that shows that i want to make an effort. 

i feel stubborn. i feel like i know exactly what to do and how to do it and if i “wanted to” i could probably stop a majority of these really lazy and fruitless wasted efforts of “life” things. like just laying around. i can’t prove that to him without making an effort to actually do that in a significant way but if i move the mountains of my depression to make an effort that still leads to the same outcome because i was never logistically accounted for even as a guest so any effort i made would never lead me to be prepared. 

like what if i just got rid of all my things? gave up the cats? worked my ass off and saved every penny for two months? but i’m just ... left here. then i’d had mde these “life improvements” to no greater gain but like.. momentary satisfaction which leads to just replacing my shit with money i saved and regretting the fate of my cats because i’m super lonely. 

what if i keep the cats, slowly work on getting a little part time job, “go to yoga” - what do i get from his support of me doing this in that moment when it eventually leads to the same result whre i’m left behind and i get phone calls and pictures and messages about what he’s doing and i have to pretend like i care when i was just left behind without any real care but i have a job and i “go to yoga” so my life is “improved” and i guess makes it all the more easier to not give a damn about something thats so obviously unhealthy to begin with. how can i be in his life? 

i guess it’s kind of funny. maybe i was projecting my own feelings on to him and i guess it’s not something we regularly consider to be in my thought capacity but like, does he think i would care about him in this scenario? i don’t give a fuck what my distant ass relatives are doing with their time. that’s like a brief phone call every two years for me. 

i think i was really mentally unprepared to enter this situation tonight. i also think i was thrown for a curveball because i had negative expectations which didn’t play out like i thought it would and in some ways it was kind of positive. but because i was mentally unprepared i reacted in the way i would react in any overwhelming scenario - it’s panic and sobbing. i guess since i have more questions that this could conceivably extend to a second part of hanging out. but like i cant ask can i come along ill do this and this without presenting the proof of even the ability to produce anything on that level. i’m literally just saying believe in me, i can do this. like”give me a shot on the field coach, i’m ready”. i suppose i can ask outright can i come with you because i think the phrasing “ill follow you” is too vague. 

all of this says i still want to be with him and right now in these really overwhelmingly stressful times i have literally no idea why i woul an can’t even recall anything of merit he did that dictates that i should “follow” this man anywhere. 

you know, regardless, i need to “get a job”. there is “nothing wrong with” getting a job. im literally just putting air quotes because i’m upset it “leads to nothing” but really it is a postiive to just get a job even if i dint give a shit about the money. but the i’d also have money. and my life would improve. 

is it unhealthy to talk to him to help make myself more comfortable for a second in person meeting where i can pose such questions? i mean i cant ATLEAST be a sobbing mess. the question is difficult enough to pose. 

is this even a thing i want to do to make myself happy? just essentially follow this person’s whims as they try to rediscover themselves? it’s romantic and adventerous and stupid an crazy and i guess it makes me feel like if i cant conjure this up in myself because i just dont have the passion towards the multitue of experiences in life and wouldn’t seek them out myself then maybe i can follow someone else? 

i do love him, a lot. it’s really hard to cut off communication with him; i want to talk to him. i want to explore my newfound freedom of communication with him. like i feel more comfortable now that i’ve sai what i wanted to say. like i think it was the worst of all i could say. and i am now an embarassing sobbing gross mess so like where can i go from here. 

it’s really hard to just focus on myself. i know how to be alone but i dont know how to love myself. i think im a heavily flawed person both inside and out and i think alot of my behavior does badly effect the people i’m aroun and it can become like a chain reaction where it effects one person and then everyone close to them. but im stuck in a loop - i hate myself too much to “help myself”. to put in the effort i need to do to make my life better. i was not just programmed to hate myself but i began to loathe the behviors i coul see that were programmed by them so the hatred grew stronger. 

that hatred is now the core definition of my character and when i interact with anyone or anything or try to do anything, this character takes over and with blatant disregard fucks my own attempts at doing better. but it’s still me. i still have to reprogram these behaviors that come from such deep hatred of myself. an theyre so large and so deep - i dont care about how i live or how i’m going to eat or feed myself or what quality of food i eat, i dont care about keeping up my own personal hygiene, i dont care about the fact i put up with completely out of the norm situations by living here, i dont care about any prior interests nor do i care about building new ones. i watch endless amount of “informative” programs as if that’s somehow better. like it justifies me spending like.. most of my waking hours doing this. its “educational”. 

i essentally live like a crackhead and i dont even do hard drugs. there is a reason i am here and i could very well have him apart of my life to better fulfill the level of self hatred i have to put myself through something i wouldnt have to experience with someone else. i want to feel like shit. i put salt in the wounds. i poke the bear. i make the wrong moves to get the wrong reactions so i can continue the cycle. 

how can i improve? do i live in the now or do i plan for a “better tomorrow”? i mean - i guess as a human i just have that choice and it’s whatever works for me. maybe i can choose what kind of person i want to be. do i want to be a live in the now person or a better tomorrow one? is living in the now compulsive behavior? is planning making me better prepared or rigid/comfortable in routine? maybe it puts restrictions on the expecations of myself? like i feel especially shit so i plan for low energy things when i had the ability to achieve more? it’s like why do the work when i’ve already planned the “easy way out”. it could take a bit of both but whats the right balance? 

i want to say like i’ll do this and this tomorrow but maybe it’ll lock me in and i wont want to do that but i couldve done something else but instead i’m bummed i dont feel like tackling those tasks today.maybe it’s just a general knowlege of things that could be done in any moments. 

when i was a kid i dropped 50lbs because i was tired of being fat and put myself on a strict but okay diet. like i still got decent nutrition but i was just tired of being fat from overeating and i just ecided to stop and i did. this is one of the crowning moments in my battle against self hatred. now its used once again in my self hatred but on the opposite spectrum.i have a lot of battles to face and some of them ill hve to face multiple times before i beat them. 

it’s really an odd feeling to have to forcefully make myself accept that i’m going to do better than this while kind of begrudging the idea. like i have no false hope that people tend to have when theyre like ‘oh im starting this diet im really excited about it’.i’m not excited about the prospect of facing these battles because my self hatred’s uphill battle (instead of the disgusting collapse of everything you are) of “self love” is filled wit humiliation. could be another battle i have to overcome but i’ve already faced enough humilation for the year. ill still do it but im sad it will become a lingering cloud. 

i guess the one thing i can do in planning for a better tomorrow is to only allow myself so much time to think about the relationship stuff. or lack there of. or maybe its there. i dont know. whatever it was/is we parted ways with a hug and i love you so no matter how much time i take to think about anything, it’s open for me to have a positive experience with him. it’s going to be beneficial in all ways to break the habit of thinking about him or anything “we” could do together. we loved eachother and the overwhelming feeling is that no matter how mch time i spend thinking about it or asking questions its probably not going to work out. sometimes that happens. the sooner i put it ou of my mind, the sooner i can just get over it and move on to the next era of my life with new/different people. i was already doing that in some ways before i stepped into all this. 

i guess i feel weird as well because he offered to pay for a month of yoga classes. i dont think that gives me the drive to go to it. i ca definitely see myself not going just because its cold. i can also see myself hating the people who attend a yoga class and choos to be involved in the community surrounding yoga. it’s not really my type of vibe. but if i turn down that; which coulve been as simple as going to a yoga class, then i should probably produce something on level. but maybe it was a way to get me involved in his positive activity so we could manage positive experiences together. to prove i could come through. 

i am ready to interact with people i’m just not ready to have that sort of interaction. the weirdness of group stretching. i think it’s okay if yoga is a private practice i dont pay for. 

lets not forget i taught myself how to draw and entered a community i knew no one in a few years ago. i had the initiative once before.