#im trying to figure out if this lacking of coordination and communication is due to our host being a man or autistic or if he has never

[yrtit]

literally why am i and my bfs brother planning a whole camping trip that we were invited to?

[kny111]

I’m Living Under Government Watchlist for doing ProBlack + BLM work

I’m not sure many of you know this and with what I’ve seen I doubt this will get attention considering how deeply sabotaged tumblr has become. But I’ve been doing activism for about as long as we’ve been yelling things like “HandsOffAssattaShakur“ to protesting what I thought was religious corruption when we did so against scientology to #OccupyWallstreet. I’ve been protesting and doing activism online and offline depending on my mental and physical health which has limited me as time goes by. It’s finally got me burnt out, not from the protesting and activism, but from those whose job in the past and present been to sabotage and destabilize Black lead/ Poc led movements. I’m in a continuation of this. Don’t let my lack of energy in speaking out fool you into thinking I gave up. I have just gotten worn out by them.

The things they’ve done to my mind and body while in this area since moving. They’ve been surveilling me since before I could even remember. Every single day that goes by they’ll have some way of making their presence on my health in a debilitating way. They’ll mess with the internet, phone, my contacts, infiltrate them, infiltrate my family, they’ve messed with the job search process and made difficult for me to enter any job without said job making some offhanded comments showing their solidarity to the corrupted country I protest. They’ve had people I trusted right here on tumblr infiltrated my circles of friends and myself and make it very well known that they feel beyond reproach.

This has all been in coordination with the NYPD and other government agents of defense. They’ll make themselves present in just about any space I try to go. From the forest, parks, to just a simple walks outside. I basically was lead into an area of Manhattan that is mad pro-cop, pro-surveillence capitalism, pro-militarized. Any time I make blog posts or whatever that don’t put em in a good light I get some kind of mental or physical health debilitating action against me like they’ll have mad loud noises at timed intervals like what the agent upstairs does all the time which messes with my breathing due to social anxiety and depression. They’ve had cars roll dangerously close to me, whether im biking or not. They’ll have people walk mad close to me during social distancing measures. I know it be them because they tend to use sensitive information they got through surveillancing me all day and night. Like fam I could be trying to take a piss in peace at like 3am and they’ll still be bumping away and making all types of sound to give the impression that they’re always watching. And they are. And I think the fact that those UFO/UAP objects appeared on my 17th  (11/10/2004) birthday added to their obsession with me. The other fact that I ended painting a similar craft under the context of destroying colonialism I believe gave the government more understanding on what they’re really here about. I think that being the end of these oppressive regimes that have made so much out of us. I don’t want to sound superstitious but since then I’ve felt a connection with those UAPs that I only learned to name recently. I no longer think it’s coincidental that about a month or so AFTER I painted those native, queer sisters dancing to bring forth help from their future descendants, the navy posts those videos of the UAP that become well known. They’ve never done that, and yet just a few weeks after I painted this, not only does the gallery I exhibited this in Harlem catches fire unexpectedly, but these things become a topic of discussion in ways we’ve never seen before. I think them UAPs are here for our freedom. But that’s for another post. Too much to unpack into this. I’m just letting yall know what they know of me. So now imagine. This nigga aka me, tied to UFO, fortelling the future (I know what I sound like, but believe me, I can definitely tell the future) AAAND fighting for black lives? Of course they gone be on my ass like a probe. In fact, I think one night they even broke into our apartment (not the first time they do so) and did things against my will as I slept since I woke up feeling violated. Waking up with strange markings and having objects in the crib go missing. But I’ll leave that there. There’s so little ya’ll know about what they’re doing to BLM activists. So much I’ve omitted from here for my own sanity and to process things. This has caused my body a lot of debilitating stress down to my breathing having been shortened. I’m lucky if I have the will power to eat more than 2 meals. I don’t even bike anymore. I can barely run anymore. I can barely speak like I used to anymore. They stole so much more from me than they’ll ever imagine. Even saying all this to yall, whomever listening, feels pointless. Why? because they’re very good at making it seem, even if and when it aint true, that your people don’t fuck with you no more except for those they deem acceptable. As you figured, this would have anyone under 24/7 watch. The government be lookin at me and them UAP and the lands and non government natives as a force they don’t wanna reckon with, so they’ve put a lot out to shrink me as they do to so many of us who choose to fight for the rest who can’t. And this has all been while trying to raises my baby Quinn with my partner. So we’re all dealing with the state and federal terrorists in one way or another. If they not trying physically fuck with me, they’ll be running psych warfare on me, shit thatll have me doubting myself despite the facts. Luckily a nigga still bout that scientific literacy so it’s helped me a lot in spotting them and trying to keep some semblance of a distance. But again because of what I’m tied to: bday 111, UAP/UFO, native resistance and the spirits of the land and those this country murdered for white supremacist ventures, predicting/ESP type of abilities on the daily while telling them how useless their surveillence capitalist tools are knowing we can do this has likely mad them other me, dehumanize me and made me feel less human. Since then I’ve noticed they’ve been limiting my posts and activities on just about any site that has favored white supremacy, neocolonialism and capitalism in some way or another. They’ll mess with my facebook feed, who my posts get seen by, they’ll mess with my IG, they’ll mess with my tumblr especially. Basically any way they can limit who I may say this to and wear me out from even speaking about this and bringing yall hope like that. And remember, the information that they share amongst themselves as surveillance capitalist is the same information hub/database that infiltrated white supremacists and antiblack/antibrown folks in governments tend to us and share with their own hateful ass people. With this in mind, I really think they look at me as some would be leader to those movements since I’m queer and nonbinary so not as easy to trick into the outdated oppresive politics they try to have me on. Since I haven’t shown interest in being with them in any real way and have stuck to my activism and abolishing these systems they’ve continue to in a way torture me. Through sounds, denial of physical services, or when I go out to eat in places that have ties to law enforcement or government agencies, they’ll mess with my food, just about anything you need they’ll fuck with. What would that do to you if you experienced that? Hence why my bloggin changed a bit, not as attached due to energy fatigue and their constant harrassment and obsession with me. Many times, even with the fact that I may be linked to those UAP in some special way I still be feelin like dyin to not be around em anymore.

To add to what I said on how corporate own websites like tumblr have joined them; After having spent a good amount of time blocking my posts and blaming their algorithm. From blocking drawings of normalizing fatness to pro LGBTQ and Black Lives Matter posts like the Eric Garner videos I uploaded. For a few months now I’ve noticed my scinerds blog has been inaccessible, in a way sabotaging my communication with yall. And they would fix my blog posts by limiting who sees my posts, so now most if not all of my posts on this website and few others have been. When I try to use it I’m not allowed, but I’m still able to reblog, so I’ve been reblogging there less science and more activism as a way to protest the racist, white supremacist of tumblr. Be they black or not, they still acting the same. I’m mostly posting this for a future people who understand me and believe me. I get the sense that this post will also be sabotaged or muted in some way. Thanks for reading, in case we don’t link.

[virgoheartt]

psa.

hey guys!! so, i don’t usually make posts like this because outside of the roleplay community, i’m not incredibly helpful or resourceful. however, over the last couple of months i have gained a lot of knowledge due to my circumstances that i’d thought i’d share in case anyone is going through exactly what i am right now, and that is: trying to get integrated within a homeless shelter that is clean, safe, helpful, and can equip you with things in life you might be lacking or struggling in, due to financial instability or whatever happens to be your situation. this post is very long and will be put under a read more, as not to disturb the flow of anyone’s dash. it will include links to helpful websites, clarifying and debunking some common myths about homeless shelters, resources for every state in america, and more (all placed on a page on my blog, as tumblr was being a massive ass about having this show up in the tags with certain links embedded)! i do apologize that this only covers the united states and not other countries, and if anyone has any resources or resourceful posts on tumblr about homeless shelters and what they’re like/what they can do/etc in other countries, please do message me with the link and i’ll add it to this post as soon as possible!! PLEASE LIKE AND/OR REBLOG THIS AS TO HELP SPREAD WORD AND HELP THOSE GOING THROUGH POSSIBLE HOMELESSNESS RIGHT NOW.

so, first and foremost, i would like to debunk a few common myths, that i myself, even had before knowing more about homelessness and shelters.

the first is that many think a homeless shelter will be worse than living in their toxic, possibly abusive household. and that is simply NOT TRUE. as someone who has lived with an older, highly abusive family member and then recently, a really toxic family member who drains me mentally and emotionally, i can tell you it’s not worse than what you’re going through right now. it’s going to be a massive transitional period, where simply luxuries the majority of us have (such as cell phone service, laptops, tvs, entertainment, etc) will become just that: luxuries. things you can only obtain after overcoming homelessness. but i guarantee you it’s worth it. a lot of those who face homelessness, i came to find out, are those who show a pattern of poor life skills. many are ashamed of it and to be honest, i was too at one point. but i’m not anymore. because 9/10 times, good life skills weren’t taught to growing children, as poor life skills usually roots from parents or parental figures lacking in sufficiently teaching their child/children how to live outside of survival mode. and that’s not okay, but it will be. because you’ll learn life skills through people who want nothing more than to see you succeed.

you have to be gone during the day, at which time you have to carry your belongings around. now, typically, if a homeless shelter is actually good and of some quality and value, you’re not going to be gone all day carrying around nothing but your belongings and standing in the heat, cold or whatever other disastrous weather that you might face while being homeless. a nice and helpful shelter will keep your belongings safely stashed away while they help you in the pursuit of finding a job, equipping you with things such as job readiness and preparation classes, transportation, and clothing, all to ensure you become successful. (*IMPORTANT SIDENOTE: not all shelters will offer all of the above, but that doesn’t mean they’re not good shelters to stay at. even those shelters which don’t have a lot of funding and thus, don’t have all of what is said above, a good shelter will try it’s hardest to find outside resources to help with your circumstances and situations.)

the majority of homeless suffer from severe mental health problems and substance abuse. while yes, according to a study taken in 2010, one in four homeless individuals suffered/currently suffer from a serious mental illness (and i just happen to fall into this category, as i’ve battled with schizophrenia since the age of fourteen), city officials have stated that lack of affordable housing, unemployment, and poverty are still the top three causes of homelessness in a survey conducted by the us conference mayors in 2014 and roughly is it said that one-third of those adults who are in shelters had chronic substance use problems in 2010, according to SAMHSA. that is about 184,666 sheltered adults out of a rough estimate of 554,000 adults living in a homeless shelter, according to the department of housing and urban development (hud) in december 2017. and compared to how large the united states’ population is, that’s not all too bad, considering. another thing to note about homeless shelters is that the good ones will always test for drugs/alcohol upon arrival and even if they decide to take them in, they’re helping them take initiative in getting sober and staying sober as a requirement to stay in the shelter and their program.

homeless individuals live most of their time in the streets. however, according to HUD’s survey, about 69 percent of homeless americans lived in shelters in 2014. and if not a shelter, it was said that at least 30 percent of unsheltered homeless seattle residents live or at one point lived in a vehicle of some type, according to the vehicle residency research progran.

your personal property will be stolen, no ifs ands, or butts. although you will need some sort of money saved up or after sustaining a steady income through a trustworthy employer, a lot of shelters (especially the ones that are of the golden few) will offer some type of place for you to put your things on a rent-type basis until you can get into transitional living. and more often than not, they tend to be air conditioned. however, as much as i’ve looked into it, i couldn’t find a place that helped individuals with storing away personal property at no charge or at a late charge.

now, some things in which a homeless shelter can/will help you with are the following (as always, please do your research prior to staying at a homeless shelter, if you can. thus, when you do the research you can see if they offer any of the following and if it doesn’t say on their website, then you can definitely inquire about it. if they don’t offer it nor give you resources to some outside resource that can help you, DON’T STAY WITH THEM.):

mental and physical health sevices

substance abuse services

employment assistance

shelter

transitional housing

permanent housing

housing coordination community integration

navigating around

case management

crisis medical services

crisis transition

some helpful resources/a short description of what they help with are listed below but the links can be found here (*IMPORTANT SIDENOTE: if you’re in fear for your safety in terms of searching for somewhere to stay and such, please be wary that computers can be monitored and it’s impossible to 100% completely clear, so please, if you are afraid your internet usage is being monitored, please call the national domestic hotline, which the number is listed below):

what it’s like to stay the night in a homeless shelter --- here is an accurate descriptive inside look at what it’s like to stay a night/a few future months at a homeless shelter, as written by an undercover journalist.

homelessshelterdirectory.org --- a website that will help give you all sorts of helpful information from quality/emergency shelters to helpful programs to help end homelessness and in almost every city in the united states.

the national domestic hotline: 1-800-799-7233 or 1-800-787-3224 TTY for the deaf/hard of hearing --- a hotline for anyone of any age who is experiencing domestic violence. they’re open 24/7, 365 days a year.

ending message: homelessness is a demographic of people who have faced some sort of trauma in their lives, whether it be multiple incidents and varying from one thing to another, to simply only facing sudden homelessness, it’s a problem that faces a lot of people on a day-to-day basis all around the world, and even currently in my life. i hope this has helped in some sort of way and especially if it helped to relieve some anxiety you feel around staying at a homeless shelter, which i do sympathize with, but wish you the best in building a life for yourself again. if anyone needs me to clarify or touch on some more things or anything specific that i can try to help with, feel free to IM me here or for a short time (as i won’t have my laptop with me as to not encourage the chance of it getting stolen) i will be answering as much as i can in my inbox regarding this.