#im typing this at 5.30 am

[vincess-princess]

i am in need of some hs!crüe just helping out Vince with his dyslexia and being really supportive and calming him down when he gets frustrated so if ya ever get the chance I’d love u forever 😊💓 thanks

jesus christ anon im so sorry everything went terribly wrong and i ended up with angst again and i don’t know why it happens i really tried to write fluff!! i guess im just not really in the state for the fluff now. i will post what i wrote here anyway because i spent three sleepless nights on this but it’s not what you asked for :(

Vince let out an exasperated sigh and threw the pencil onto the table. It bounced off it and rolled under the couch. Tommy bended down to pick it up, but it was out of his reach.

“I can’t do this anymore,” Vince announced, leaning back onto his chair and hiking his feet up on the table. “I’m fucking tired.”

“Tell Mick that when you’ll be making excuses for your test results.” Nikki looked up from the notebook where he was scribbling something for the past half an hour. He and Tommy had already finished their homework and were enjoying themselves, leaving Vince to fight with goddamned chemistry alone.

“He’ll understand.” Vince tried to sound confident and failed miserably. Tomorrow was Friday, and another meeting with Mick, and maybe getting to rehearse a couple of The Stones’ songs he showed them last week. Given, of course, that Vince scored more than 90% on his tomorrow chemistry test.

Which at the moment seemed pretty much impossible.

“Of course, he will.” Nikki nodded, a little too condescending to sound natural. “And, understanding everything, he won’t let you in until you bring him an A.”

“Thanks for keeping me updated, mate, I would never know that myself,” Vince couldn’t help but snap, irritation that had been building up in his chest jumping up from mild to high in a matter of seconds.

“I’d let you copy it if we weren’t always given different variants,” Tommy sighed, threw his drumstick in the air and promptly caught it. He’d been switching between running up- and downstairs to bring snacks to the room, spinning his drumsticks and trying to peek at Nikki’s lyrics for the last couple of hours, waiting for Vince to finish so they could go rehearse in the garage.

“No, thanks,” Vince snapped out, his tone maybe too harsh, but to hell with that. Tommy blinked in confusion, dropped his drumstick, plopped on his knees to get it from under the couch and stayed there for good five minutes.

“No need to get so bitchy, you know,” Nikki murmured. “He did you nothing wrong.”

Vince felt the blood rushing to his head.

“Maybe if you weren’t so bitchy yourself, I wouldn’t lash out on him!” his hands started shaking as he was actively suppressing the need to throw the goddamn textbook right at Nikki’s head.

“Maybe if you weren’t so fucking slow we would already have rehearsed everything and then some!”

“Nikki!” Tommy gasped somewhere in the background, but neither of them paid attention.

Slow, the word rang in Vince’s ears, and it was like a punch in the guts.

Nikki looked surprised when he realized Vince was not going to reply. Then he looked at Vince’s face, at Tommy’s shocked expression and became visibly uncomfortable.

“I hope you enjoy tomorrow meeting with Mick,” Vince said, his voice croaky. He grabbed his jacket and walked out of the room.

***

“Vinnie! Don’t go away!”

“Fuck off, T-bone,” Vince said tiredly, but slowed down, letting Tommy catch up with him. “Why don’t you go and rehearse with Nikki? I’m not slowing you two down anymore.” Yes, it was unfair to be so mean to Tommy. He didn’t seem to get upset over it, though.

“You know he didn’t mean it, right?” Tommy asked, still breathless from running. “He was just angry because he wanted to impress Mick tomorrow. You know how he gets about these meetings.”

“Apparently, they’re more important to him than me.”

“Bullshit.” Tommy grabbed him by the sleeve, forcing to stop. “You should’ve seen him after you left. Almost begged me to go bring you back.”

“Now this is definitely bullshit.” Vince stopped after all, still looking strictly forward, his chin unnaturally high. “If he wants me back so badly then why isn’t he here?”

“Too proud.” Tommy shrugged. “He’ll get over it and apologize… in a couple of days.”

“Well, I ain’t gonna wait here for so long. I’m going home.”

“No!” Tommy tugged on his jacket, let go when he saw Vince wasn’t going to stop and just walked by his side. He walked faster than Vince and had to make smaller steps to keep up with him. “Vinnie, please, let’s go back. I hate it when we argue.”

“Do you really wanna spend the night between two people who are actively hating on each other?”

“C’mon, you don’t hate each other. And we had arguments before, and everything turned out fine.”

“Well, Nikki didn’t call me stupid back then,” Vince reminded bitterly.

“He didn’t call you that!” Tommy resented. “He just meant it takes you a little longer…”

“Yeah, yeah. I’m slow, I remember.”

“Christ.” Tommy looked up to the sky with a frustrated expression. “Listen, I don’t wanna say I’m the only one here to actually want this goddamn relationship to work, but it seems like the two of you do your best to fuck everything up.”

It was so out of the blue that Vince almost tripped over in the middle of a perfectly even road. “The fuck you mean by that?”

“I mean exactly what I said.” Tommy stopped, and Vince unconsciously followed suit, baffled by the unexpected stern notes in his voice. “You and Nikki are so busy guarding your fragile egos you don’t care if everything goes sour in the process.” Tommy’s eyes found Vince’s, for the first time since they started talking, and Vince couldn’t look away. “And I do. Even more than I’d want to.”

Tommy bit his lip and looked away, and Vince’s heart sank, because his last phrase was anything but stern or accusatory. Guilty. He sounded guilty. For caring.

The silence lasted, and lasted, and lasted, and neither of them could make a sound, and thousands of words were running through Vince’s head.

“Fuck,” Tommy finally broke it a couple of excruciatingly awkward minutes later, laughing nervously and still not looking at Vince. “It really sounded better in my head. Sorry for the drama.”

“It’s alright.” Vince’s mouth was dry.

“I guess you’d really better go home,” Tommy said, voice thick. “Do you want me to walk with you for a bit? It’s getting dark.”

“Yeah, it really is.” Vince murmured, lingering for a second, and then turned in the opposite direction. “How about I walk you to your house instead?”

Tommy blinked in confusion, then looked up at Vince and beamed.

***

“Oh,” Nikki almost jumped up when they entered the room, then quickly pretended he was going to get up anyway. “Vince, I-”

“-am sorry?” Vince interrupted him, feeling a rush of bitterness from the sight of Nikki. “Save your breath. I came back because Tommy asked me to, not because of you.”

“Well, and I asked Tommy to ask you to come back.” Nikki forced on a smile, though it looked more like a grimace.

“Hey, don’t get me into it!” Tommy resented, not-so-gently pushing Vince towards the bed and standing in front of the door like a guardian. “I got him here, now make up!”

Vince turned to Tommy and ran the side of his palm across his neck in an ultimately understandable I’m gonna kill you. Tommy smiled sheepishly but didn’t move an inch.

Nikki cleared his throat, attracting Vince’s attention.

“Um, I…” his voice faltered. He was never good at apologizing. Too proud, damn it. “I- I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.”

“You definitely shouldn’t have,” Vince agreed, keeping his voice cold, though the icky, bristly lump in his chest loosened up a little. Watching Nikki so guilty and struggling with his own pride – a trait he rarely tried to suppress - was doing wonders to Vince’s self-esteem. “Anything else to say besides the generic “I’m sorry”?”

“Christ,” Nikki sighed and covered his face with his hands for a moment before looking up at Vince again. “No. Nothing except that I was a major asshole.”

“You sure were.” Vince really hoped Nikki wouldn’t recognize amusement in his voice. Tommy did, and now was doing his best to fight down a smile, lest they accidentally hurt Nikki’s precious feelings. Some part of Vince encouraged him to burst into laughter at Nikki’s pitiful attempts, but he managed to suppress this desire so far. He might be a bitch, but not an asshole.

Nikki looked up at him with clear desperation in his eyes. He was truly sorry. He wasn’t pretending. The icky lump – his bitterness, his disappointment, his feeling of betrayal, - slackened, the tension it caused in his whole body started fading away. The hurt didn’t disappear completely, rather crawled into a hole somewhere far in the back of Vince’s mind to haunt him during some of those terrible sleepless nights of his. But for now it was gone - out of Vince’s way.  

“Listen, I don’t know what else to say,” Nikki admitted, looking Vince pleadingly in the eyes. “What do you want me to do to make up for this?”

“Suck my dick,” Vince offered in a completely serious tone that took all the remains of his poor self-restraint to pull off. Nikki’s face went from confused to indignant to hopeful in a split second, and this was the last straw for Vince’s self-control. He started laughing, and Tommy joined him a second later.

Nikki’s face went to indignant again and remained like this for a solid couple of seconds before he surrendered to laughter as well.

“You were fucking with me! The whole time! Did you plan it?”

“No, but you looked so miserable I couldn’t help it. The suggestion stands, by the way.”

“Oh, sure,” Nikki scrambled to get up, only to fall on his knees in front of Vince a second later. Vince tilted his head back and gripped the sheets, letting out a satisfied moan.

If Nikki would be so eager to blow him after every fight, he might need to reconsider his attitude towards them.

[onepiecehcs]

its 5.30 am and i find myself typing the words “hanahaki disease” into the ao3 tags, someone call a fucking doctor bc i think im gonna die of dehydration soon,

[gravity-ksoo]

Rules: answer these 85 statements about yourself, then tag 20 people

I was tagged by my fellow Kaisooist @kaisoounderground ! Thank you for tagging me 😙🌹

Last…

1. drink – White choco Cappuccino

2. phone call - mom

3. text message – to my sister,I asked her what she wants for lunch

4. song you listened to – Black on black by NCT

5. time you cried – 2 days ago

6. dated someone twice? - ❌

7. kissed someone and regretted it – ❌

8. been cheated on - never

9. lost someone special - My grandpa

10. been depressed – 2 days ago

11. gotten drunk and thrown up – never happened. My alcohol tolerance is pretty high

Fave colours:

12. Pink

13. Yellow

14. Grey

In the last year have you…

15. made new friends - Yes.

16. fallen out of love - Yes

17. laughed until you cried – i do this everyday

18. found out someone was talking about you - no

20. found out who your friends are – thankfully,yes.

21. kissed someone on your facebook friends list – idk,probably not

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know irl – i honestly dont know,but probably most of them since they're from my school and just friends

23. do you have any pets - Yes, I have 2 dogs 😊 First one is called Lou,2,5 years old and he is a mixture of golden retriever & kelpie. Other one is a maltese named Ollie and he is 8 months old! 🐶🐕

24. do you want to change your name – No,I absolutely love my name!

25. what did you do for your last birthday – I had a huge celebration with my famly,relatives and best friends. 🎉🎂

26. what time did you wake up today - @ 5.30 am 😣😣 my sleeping schedule is messed up

27. what were you doing at midnight last night – I was playing Yamb with my friends 🎲

28. what is something you can’t wait for – honestly,I cant wait to start college!

29. (there’s no question??) – interesting

30. what are you listening to right now – Cherish by EXO-CBX

31. have you ever talked to a person named tom – nope since its not a common name in my country 🤷‍♀️

32. something that gets on your nerves – People being mad at you for having your own opinion. This bothers me a lot!

33. most visited website – twitter,instagram & tumblr- anything related to Exo or any of my ships

34. hair color – light brown

35. long or short hair - long

36. do you have a crush on someone - no

37. what do you like about yourself - I’m a very kind person and I will always help others. Also,I'm not scared to say whats on my mind and whats bothering me.

38. want any piercings? - no

39. blood type - A

40. nicknames - dont have any

41. relationship status - single

42. zodiac - capricorn

43. pronouns – she,her

44. fave tv shows – Shameless and Friends

45. tattoos – maybe but it has to be something very important and meaningful to me

46. right or left handed – right handed

47. ever had surgery - no

48. piercings – one in each ear

49. sport – no thanks,haha. ,even though I played volleyball for 3 years

50. vacation – i really,really,reallllllly want to go to Japan 🇯🇵

51. trainers - I like trainers with thicker sole,idk why. My fave brands are Puma and Adidas

52. eating – grilled cheese sandwich (i'm a cheese addict) 😂🧀

53. drinking – apple juice

54. i’m about to watch – some videos on youtube

55. waiting for - 🤔 nothing

56. want – my friends and family to be healthy and happy ❤

57. get married – yes,i want to,of course

58. career – im just a student

Which is better…

59. hugs or kisses - Hugs – they are so warm and you feel safe

60. lips or eyes – Eyes because they're the window to your soul

61. shorter or taller - Taller.

62. older or younger - Older.

63. nice arms or stomach - Stomach, I guess?? Even though I really dont care about physical appearance

64. hookup or relationship - relationship

65. troublemaker or hesitant - Hesitant

Have you ever…

66. kissed a stranger - no

67. drank hard liquor – Of course

68. lost glasses - never

69. turned someone down – yes

70. sex on first date – It's a big no from me ❌

71. broken someone’s heart – not that i know of

72. had your heart broken – Coupe of times,yeah

73. been arrested - no

74. cried when someone died - yes

75. fallen for a friend - no

Do you believe in

76. yourself – Some days yes,other days not really

77. miracles - Absolutely.

78. love at first sight – 100%

79. santa claus - nah

80. kiss on a first date - no

81. angels – I do believe in them

Other:

82. best friend’s name - Lucija

83. eye color – light blue,they turn greyish when it's raining

84. fave movie – Eat,pray,love

85. fave actor – Julia Roberts

Now I tag : @aprilreignshowers @kyungsootrash120 @itsmultifandomtrash @cococupcake17 @mym8812 & @chocoberry-dream

Remember: You don't have to do it! It's up to you 😊😊

[crybabybyee]

i feel like utter shit this morning.

so yesterday i came to the realisation of why he’s in that different server. i did some digging and found out the girl he first cheated on me with is in that server...

at first i just felt that stab of betrayal but then i didn’t care? obviously, he ALWAYS goes back to her his ‘dominatrix’ mistress. so i wasnt surprised at all. but it just played on my mind all night and i just pushed it away...

went to sleep and dreamt i was in the game and knowing he was with HER the whole time and it fucking sucked...woke up at 5.30 cuz baby was awake, then had another nap and had the same fucking dream...

i never wanted to think or dream of her again. she is the reason i have ptsd in the first place - the thought of him being ‘controlled’ in a sexual way when i was the opposite, i was submissive (and he ~tried~ to be dominant) and would make out he loves doing it to me, and loves that im submissive. but i would always imagine the roles reversed, except with her. because thats how he was in the beginning and i didnt ‘satisfy’ him. i lost SO much confidence and self esteem thanks to him and this fucking slag, who sounds like she smokes 20 a day, and she KNEW about me, she used to hang around us and even made conversation with me once!!! and she said to him when i found out “this is why youre supposed to keep things like this secret!”

she is the worst type of woman around. the women hating kind, but acts like she is friendly to your face.

and the dreams made me realise... what if they plan to ‘bump’ into me in game? so he can rub in my face that he got back with the woman who caused me the most trauma...? i absolutely fucking hate him...

why did it have to be her? why couldnt he just carry on with his list of other girls elsewhere? oh because he knew i was going back to the game. he WANTS to hurt me. im so scared. why did she even have to move other our data center? i felt safe because our worlds couldnt cross during duties, or you couldnt travel to the other data centre. part of me really regrets buying sub, but i had a nice time playing it yesterday and was looking forward to again.

i checked his steam a while ago (is this to be my life now..?) to see if he had been playing last night/today after those awful dreams...but he didnt even play since the 20th. which i find odd, but then, he will have her on discord so probly saying nasty things there all day e_e i hope they just stick to discord and he hardly comes on anymore. but it explains why one of his crafters is higher level than anything else right now... because thats what they used to do. she would ‘order’ him around to gather materials or craft stuff that she needed in game, and repay him with sexual favours. it’s just so gross that im having to relive a huge past trauma but...at the same time, i dont give a fuck anymore. as long as they dont rub it in my face and i never see them. and if i do...i will probly end up saying things, i just dont want to embarass myself, only him

but i did so well the last couple weeks of not checking his activity, and i felt free. and now im putting myself back in the same position, i wish i could have just left ff in the past. but i cant. my character is me, i feel like i am her, particularly when im out of touch with reality and dissociating she grounds me. but i kind of just view myself as her, because its better than viewing my own ugly ass self, whos face has become ugly and scowly the last few years.

i used to be pretty please can i smile and laugh and be pretty again

[ongsecngwoo]

question tag!

tagged by these absolutely lovely people @hwangminyeo @king-jaehwan thank you soo much abby and lena!!! also @abby i’m sorry that this is very long overdue djasdasahdjash

THE LAST

drink: water i guess?? 

phone call: a few hours ago

text message: “bincth dont forget we have swimming lessons at 4 and if you’re late im gon kill u”

song you listened to: atlas: heart - sleeping at last

time you cried: hmmhhh i think last week?? i was finishing a book series lmao

HAVE YOU EVER

dated someone twice: oh god no

kissed someone and regretted it: nopee

been cheated on: nah

lost someone special: yeah

been depressed: how do you define depressed hmm... in my own opinion i think it was about a month ago i guess? 

gotten drunk and thrown up: nope IM STILL UNDERAGE

3 FAVORITE COLORS

beige

white

rose gold

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU

made new friends: yes!!:)

fallen out of love: nah,, the last time i fell out of love was such a long time ago

laughed until you cried: definitely

found out someone was talking about you: maybe? i dont remember

met someone who changed you: yes!

found out who your friends are: absolutely

kissed someone on your Facebook list: dahgfashdas nope

GENERAL

how many Facebook friends do you know in real life: i know almost all of em irl, the other few are friends i made from online games lol

do you have any pets: no huhuhu

do you want to change your name: i used to? SO STORY TIME; i go by ginny in tumblr and twitter, it’s a nickname from regina, but! people irl calls me bunga (it means flower in my language) but its hard to pronounce because of the ‘ng’ vowel so most of my native teachers often mispronounces it and sometimes i tell them to call me flo (like, from flower) instead. i hope none of you are confused with this name thing agdagsda. BUT i love my name and i wouldn’t change it!

what did you do for your last birthday: fam dinner and my friends arranged a surprise for me haha

what time did you wake up: 5.30 am today bc school sucks

what were you doing at midnight last night: was studying math and chemistry;;

name something you can’t wait for: this saturday! i’m gonna start my extracurricular activities and i chose to do painting and study korean so i can’t wait

when was the last time you saw your mom: uhh a minute ago

what are you listening to right now: want you back by haim

have you ever talked to a person named tom: .... i dont know,, maybe?

something that is getting on your nerves: i keep saying to myself im gonna start studying biology soon but i also keep procrastinating asdfsdh

most visited website: between youtube and tumblr

hair color: black

long or short hair: long but i’m thinking of cutting soon hmm,, 

do you have a crush on someone: not right now

what do you like about yourself: i like to think i can paint well haha

blood type: A

nickname: dajdsa name thing again its mostly ginny, gines, and ofc bunga

relationship status: single

zodiac: aquarius

pronouns: she/her

favorite tv show: the last show i got obsessed to is the 100 and riverdale, i’m also lowkey watching got and waiting for stranger things to return~

tattoos: i’ve always wanted those small cute tattoos and told my friend about this but they said something along the lines of: “u should know after getting a tattoo u can’t do more blood donations” and i was like omg rlly?? but i just read that it’s actually allowed, but you have to wait for a year after you get your tattoo

right or left handed: right

surgery: nah

sport: mostly swimming but i love soccer/football

vacation: i went to malaysia for a week during school vacation last summer

pair of shoes: i usually wear a pair of sandals bc im lazy and there’s one pair of slip-ons that i wear at least twice a week

MORE GENERAL

eating: just ate some fried chicken

drinking: water

I’m about to: swim 

waiting for: friday because i’m sleeping over at a friend’s to stream together

want: to sleep more sigh

get married: yea

career: something that allows me to be creative? i’ve wanted to be an architect for a longest time but i’m having doubts lately

WHICH IS BETTER

hugs or kisses: both but sometimes the former

lips or eyes: both

shorter or taller: def taller

older or younger: older

nice arms or nice stomach: dadhasda arms???

hook up or relationship: the latter of course

troublemaker or hesitant: im gonna say ‘or’ lmao

HAVE YOU EVER

kissed a stranger: nahh

drank hard liquor: nope

lost glasses/contact lenses: thankfully not yet

turned someone down: yes

sex on the first date: nah

broken someone’s heart: ahsdasda yea i still feel so bad bcs we were childhood friends too why am i typing this out

had your heart broken: yes

been arrested: no 

cried when someone died: of course, who hasn’t :o

fallen for a friend: yes

DO YOU BELIEVE IN

yourself: most of the times lol

miracles: sometimes i do

love at first sight: nah

santa clause: i deadass have no memories from my childhood but i don’t think so...?

kiss on the first date: nope

angels: all of you are angels so how can i not ahdgasgdha *deletes myself from the internet* anyway, in all seriousness, yes i do

OTHER

eye color: rlly dark brown

favorite movie: THIS IS HARD so i’m just gonna say that i love a lot of rom-coms from the early 2000s because they’re v entertaining and doesn’t require lots of thinking so it’s fun

I’m going to tag @parkswoojin (kara am i bothering u too much or what lmao) @extraongdinary @rosybaejin @centernim @parkkwoojin @jilnoons @longugo @ongeuigeon and @1guanlins