#imagine being a pick-me girl for the Imperium of Man

[thousandbuns]

Oh yeah baby, it’s time for the unhinged, unscheduled and unstructured Ylthin rambles, today’s topic: loose thoughts on the overall structure of “Horus Rising” (based on my increasingly more faded memories so forgive me for any inaccuracies) and how it contrasts the first few chapters of “Flight of the Eisenstein”.

*cough*

So, in no particular order, and jumping around subjects a bit...

Remembrancers. I know you probably don’t care about them because they’re either annoying, forgettable, blatant writer self-inserts so that Graham McNeill can ogle some fictional women, or have the misfortune of competing for attention with Astartes and Primarchs, but... they are so goddamn important to the story structure, characterization and theming in “Horus Rising”. They are sheltered civilians and bohema-roleplayers fed mountains of propaganda before getting shipped off to create more propaganda about “our brave boys”... and they get reality-checked on multiple levels.

They expect glorious, refined, “peak of humanity” warriors - they get barracks filled with what’s at best scaled-up teenagers, and at worst actively hostile war machines. The Astartes typically dismiss them, avoid them, treat them as a nuisance - which is why someone like Mersadie or Ignace having direct access to Garviel Loken is such a big deal for both sides. They get to talk to a company Captain and Mournival member - and he doesn’t shun them. He’s actually a little sympathetic to them even if he doesn’t quite understand them. That sets him up to be a “good guy” type - an image that is then viciously (and forgive me for using a word so abused it’s lost all meaning) subverted, because...

Whisperheads. The Remembrancers perhaps expect the scattered strands of humanity to kneel before the majesty of the Great Crusade, then rise into a glorious new future - and then they see the reality of ruined cities filled with hostile locals and keeps lined up with mangled bodies. And remember - Luna Wolves don’t particularly revel in violence, they specialize in fast, precise assaults to decapitate the enemy. The action at Whisperheads isn’t a malicious slaughter. It’s an execution, a burst of gruesome yet detached violence, and its aftermath shocks the Remembrancers even before the supernatural gets involved. It has what may be one of my favourite moments in 40K novels - Loken calmly, yet callously dismissing a grievously injured soldier’s pleas for spiritual solace by calling them “superstition”, then mercy-killing him through a decapitation. This is our “hero”. This is a man we’ve seen cheering and fraternizing with his battle-brothers like a middle-school kid. This is a man considered to be a good leader, respected and liked by his men. This is one of the kinder, more mortal-friendly Astartes.

And then there are the others. Abaddon, who can be choleric and brash, but not a blood-addled fool or a sadist, whom we see frolicking with the rest of the Mournival and trying to ease Loken after the Whisperheads - who then gets into a vicious argument with his own Primarch, to the point of driving usually calm and fatherly Horus to throw his wine glass, command him out of the room, threaten demotion and only consider showing mercy if his First Captain comes back groveling and begging for it. All of it over Horus’ refusal to conduct a direct military action against the Interex clashing with Abaddon’s warmongering attitude and disdain for the “deviant” civilization. Torgaddon, the king of witty retorts and master of dad jokes, an “older friend” type to Loken - and yet you don’t see him fraternizing with the Remembrancers. Wish I could say something more about Aximand - but his silence and general withdrawal is also somewhat telling. You see their human side, yet they stay away from mortal humans and keep to their insular little coven of warrior-brothers instead.

“Horus Rising” succeeds at making its Astartes human-yet-dehumanized by having them interact with - or avoid - mortals, and all of it plays into the further themes - the intended nuance and tragedy across the loyalist-traitor divide. The doubt over the veracity of Imperium’s stated goal. The insidious nature of propaganda, the inherently repressive nature of this authoritarian state. The fallen idol of gold we see in 42nd millennium was standing on feet of clay from the very beginning, and the book isn’t subtle about it. Doesn’t have to be - nuance and subtlety aren’t inseparable - and shouldn’t be because the 40K fanbase is full of people like me, who need to be whacked over the head to understand something, and also people who wouldn’t get the memo even if it gave them a wedgie and stole their lunch money, like some of BL’s own writers.

I’ll spare you the extended screaming match over “False Gods” killing all nuance, assassinating half the cast (for now figuratively) and taking a massive step towards an oversimplified “good Imperium vs. evil Chaos” storyline that misses the entire goddamn point and actively makes the whole series less entertaining. I’ll also fast-forward over “Galaxy in Flames” struggling to pick up the pieces as it has to rush forward and cover a major event without having the same amount of time and word count to flesh out some of the key players in it, and deepening or firmly rooting in the problems of the previous two books as a result. We’re now at “Flight of the Eisenstein” scrambling to flesh out Death Guard the way “Horus Rising” fleshed out Luna Wolves.

And I’m just 4 chapters in, about 70 pages out of 280-ish (discounting all the superfluous marketing/publisher crap inflating the pagecount of BL novels). Things could change. I could be wrong and full of shit, and I’ll be the first to admit it if the novel somehow corrects itself on the problems I have with it right now: namely that everything is once again so goddamn flat and simplified.

Remember the nuance with which both halves of the Mournival were written? Fuck that. Grulgor is a brash dick with no redeeming qualities, Garro is a saint of a man and Typhon is Erebus Mini. Remember how the Remembrancers served to highlight that even the kindest Astartes is still a cold, uncaring war machine at the core? Fuck that, so far the only mortal character - Garro’s housecarl - is here to show you that Grulgor is a dick and Garro is a saint. The divide between diminishing ranks of “watered and fed” Terran-borns and Barbaros Legionaries whose ancestors struggled in extreme conditions - and how it feeds into some really toxic mindsets (I’m not apologising for this awful pun) across the Legion - may as well end up being another botched “good-evil” binary, and I saw enough derision towards the “lows” of society (working class deriding the margins, working-ascended-to-middle class looking down at both, big city middle class sneering at them all) to feel afraid.

I’ll give it benefit of a doubt in one area for now - remember how “Horus Rising” focused mostly on conflict against “normal” humans - not insane technobarbarians, not deranged Chaos worshipers, but conventionally acceptable “civilized” worlds, some of which proclaimed themselves to be the Sole Human Empire In The Galaxy (what could Dan Abnett mean by this, I wonder) - and only introduced a planet of “hostile xenos” as a (forgive me for using this cursed word again) subversion to once again remind you with the subtlety of a brick through the window that the Imperium’s policies are horseshit across the board? “Flight...” opens with an assault on the world-ship of distinctly inhuman xenos who go as far as to implant combat augments into their “children”, which has potential to be another stab against the Imperium and Astartes... but unless it gets elaborated upon later, it may as well end up being a footnote in the story, a cool little setpiece to introduce the characters and little more - or worse, be repurposed into yet another pro-Imperial argument without a hint of self-awareness. After all, we’re already setting up an abridged rehash of “Galaxy in Flames” so we’ll have the basis for Garro turning against his Primarch, siding with the Emperor and flying the titular ship to deliver the news of the Heresy.

A story that could easily have the same nuance and message as “Horus Rising”, but that will most likely end up being boring “good guys outsmart the bad guys” drivel.

Wake me up when Heresy remembers what does “no good guys” actually mean again.

[dragonrajafanfiction]

Dragon Dancer IV: Torn Apart

The injury to my eye was severe and required immediate treatment. My main concern, however, was my daughter Ru’Yi who was still sleeping in my arms despite my moans and tears as I lay against the back of the luxury Buick, staining the fine leather with my wet clothes.

Despite my pain, I still managed to snarl at the driver from the Crane group. “I swear if this is another trap, I will kill all of you in an instant!”

The driver looked into the rearview mirror. “It’s not a trap. Lancelot was a step ahead of our friend Crow. Crow had planned to trap the hunting group on another ship, but this was not the real hunting group with him, but a decoy and that traitor Shinnosuke.”

The driver’s eyes shifted to Chu Zihang and he swallowed. “This is the truth. I am not lying.”

My husband, Chu Zihang, hadn’t said a word since our rescue. He sat stiffly in the back of this vehicle, hand on the hilt of Tongzi, golden eyes fixed on the driver. He sat upright and still, like a serpent prepped to strike, like a bullet in the chamber. At the slightest hint of danger, the driver would be dead and Chu Zihang would allow him to explain himself in the afterlife.

As soon as we reached the hospital, he ushered Ru’Yi and I away. My black trenchcoat, displaying the vibrant Japanese painting style of Ukiyo-e on the lining, branded us as elites of the Japanese underworld and we were given immediate priority by the doctor.

The news wasn’t good. The hot metal had done severe damage to my left eye. They could give me ointment and gauze to see if it healed on its own, but if the eye continued to deteriorate, it would have to be removed.

Johann took Ru’Yi with him while the doctor looked at me.

He returned with three granola bars and a small cup of coffee. I tore open the wrapper and crunched into them, silent. He’d changed into a simple t-shirt and jeans and Ru’Yi was clean, warm, dry and sleeping in a car seat. He watched me eat while I sat on the examination table.

“Lu Mingfei was here with Nono. Nono is in surgery now. They’re still not sure if she’ll make it.” He said.

I looked up, eyes wide, appetite gone. “Where’s Mingfei?”

“The Crane group spotted him at a café. I’ll catch up with him there. And there’s something else. Ru’Yi’s dragonblood awakened on the ship.”

I gasped, readied myself to jump down but Johann stopped me. “What? How do you know?”

“She didn’t react to my eyes, in fact, she stared into them very calmly. Do you know how it happened?” Johann’s eyes had reverted back to their golden color and he was back to wearing his sunglasses.

I thought back, remembering. “Oh... those immortals. They sang the sacred words of Imperium. The Dark Kings Speech.”

“I’ve heard of only one hybrid awakened so young. Code-named Key. Not much is known about him other than the fact that he opened the gate under the Three Gorges Dam when he was about her age.”

“They can use Soul Skills that early?” I was astounded.

He nodded once. “Her soul skill will be revealed once she’s exposed to the right environment. But she won’t be able to control it. It will go off on instinct.”

“Okay...” I let out a breath. 

Zihang reached over and squeezed my shoulder. “I’ll get more supplies with Mingfei and we’ll see about getting out of here.”

----------------------------

Mingfei picked me up from the hospital in Crow’s red sports car. He opened the rear passenger door. When he looked into my eyes, neither of us said anything. Lu Mingfei had made good on his promise to bring Chu Zihang back but it had come at a price none of us could have possibly imagined.

There was time pressure to get out of Tokyo, but Lu Mingfei took us back out to the shore, to a long embankment. We got out of the car and walked as far as we could, just above the water.

Police boats were on heavy patrol after the chaos last night but no one cared about three people and a baby standing outside watching the ocean on a warm spring morning.

In the distance, the wreckage of a large ship bobbed in the waves, and somewhere out there, was also the body of a girl.

I looked up at Chu Zihang. The tears rolled down his face in silence.

He was no doubt remembering her.

“Zihang...” I said, quietly. “There’s only so much time to lay awake at night and remember things. Tell me what you want to remember. Between the both of us, we won’t forget. When did you first meet her?”

“On the train.” He said simply. Then he added. “She had a ponytail and dark rimmed glasses. She held her skirt because she was nervous.”

“The enrollment form was complicated. I figured she would need help with it. So I asked her. I found out that her English wasn’t fluent. So I decided to keep helping her, since mine was better.”

“She said she was nervous because she was on a train full of monsters. I said... Here when a monster meets a monster, it’s a relative.”

“After we got off the train, things were chaotic if you didn’t understand where to go. I didn’t know either but I could ask. I told her to wait for me. I would go ask someone. I took too long. By the time I got back, she looked sad like I had left her alone...”

He stopped talking, overcome. His jaw clenched and a soft painful sigh escaped him.

“We sat next to each other in class at times. Sometimes had lunch. She would cheer for me in rowing.”

“She seemed like such a reliable person. When I found the secret of the Blood Rage technique, I couldn’t talk to anyone about it... but I really wanted to.”

“When I saw her reading books in the library, I said to myself. You can tell her. I just gave her my notes. Told her to read it for herself and not tell others.”

“We didn’t discuss it again.”

He looked back up over the waves. “She remembered me in the end. She thanked me. I don’t know for what.” His shoulders lifted.

“She took care of me, while you were gone.” I whispered. “Even when everyone acted like I was crazy... she was always kind to me. She held my hand.”

“We should go.” Zihang abruptly turned away and walked back to the car. Whatever else he was remembering, he wasn’t going to share.

I didn’t follow him. Instead, I turned to Mingfei. “How’s Nono?”

“ICU.” He said roughly. He cleared his throat. “I’m glad you guys are alright.”

“We can’t leave her here...” I shook my head.

“We don’t have any choice. The people from the Crane group said that we have a few hours at most before Kaguya goes down. And that was over an hour ago. We have to move now and she can’t be moved now.”

“Who’s going to protect her?” I asked. 

“Caesar. As soon as we can, we get in touch with him. He’s not going to take what they’ve done lightly.”

“Is he on our side?”  I pursed my lips in doubt.

He chuckled, waving his hand and going back to the car. “He’s on his own side.”

Lu Mingfei drove like a mad man through the Tokyo streets. The moment Kaguya was breached, EVA’s electronic tentacles would penetrate all major networks in Japan at the speed of light, whether it was emails, bank accounts, transportation systems, or even customs. All of them would fall under her domain.

The Tokyo Port Authority had clamped down on sea routes and now our best bet was the airport. So long as Kaguya was up, she would cover our trail.

After that? None of us were sure with the exception of Chu Zihang. After we got in the car he looked at Lu Mingfei and said, “They deceived her. And then they killed her.”

For him, the mission was simple: Destroy those behind Susie’s death.

Lu Mingfei slammed on the brakes, throwing me against my seatbelt. bumper to bumper traffic blocked our path. “What’s going on? Is it an accident?”

“It’s a little crazy.”  Lu leaned out the window to see ahead.

We were only a mile from the airport but everything was stopped. “Zihang can you ch-”

“All the lights are red on the expressway.” On the supply run, he’d acquired a smart phone. I wasn’t sure it was wise, but as the president of Lionheart, his hacking and security skills were beyond my comprehension.

“Shit...” Mingfei hissed. “EVA’s early.”

Zihang’s golden eyes shifted like a knife to his throat. “Not around the baby.”

“Sorry... sorry...” He muttered.

“What are we going to do? They’re probably on their way here now!” I said, referring to the new group sent to hunt us down.

“We can’t just run it... we would barely make it in time and then would still have to go through the security checks.”

A few nerve wracking seconds later, the phone rang. It was a car phone. This really was an antique.

We all stared at it, then glanced at each other. Lu Mingfei pressed the answer button but no one spoke.

“Don’t be scared. It’s me.” The caller’s voice was hoarse and sounded very tired.

“Crow!” I exclaimed smiling.

Ru’Yi immediately stirred, her dark eyes blinking open.

“Saeki.. it’s Saeki...” He started coughing.

“Are you okay...?”

“How’s my princess?” 

“She’s alright. She... just woke up.”

“I’m glad you made it, man. You had me worried.” Lu Mingfei sighed. “We’re stuck in traffic. Can you give us a hand?”

“Yeah... and... I’m sorry to say... I didn’t make it, actually. They got me.”

I leaned back, feeling drained and empty with shock. “Oh... no... I told you...” I hung my head looking at little Ru’Yi who was searching the room for her Uncle Crow.

“Fujiwara Shinnosuke,” said Crow. “That guy is from the Gattuso family. I didn’t see that the Gattuso family were against Mrs. Chen. Be careful and kill him when you see him. Don’t give him any leeway. His Soul Skill is Time Zero.”

“Time Zero?” I whispered, head lifting.

“What do you mean against Ms. Chen? You mean, the Gattusos want to kill her?!” Lu Mingfei gripped the steering wheel in horror.

“That’s exactly what I mean...”

“I left her at the hospital! Crow!”

“Got it... got it... I’ll send someone. Meantime, I can see your location. I’ll direct you to a small private airstrip. One of my guys will fly you out.”

I buried my face in my hands, sobbing in the back seat. “Crow...I told you... if you die now, Ru’Yi won’t remember you!”

“I know... But it’s okay. My own dad will forget me too... but don’t you worry. Her being alive, that’s all I care about.”

“I can’t repay you for this.” Zihang said softly.

“No need. It was my pleasure.” He coughed. “Oh Mingfei... I want to leave a phone number for you. Write it down. When you’re stuck again. Call it.”

He quickly scribbled down the number and then banged the steering wheel in helpless fury. He settled his head on it, fighting tears.

“Not far ahead of you, there’s a fork off the highway, take it and keep driving until you see a private driveway. The plane is there.”

Lu Mingfei tilted his head out the window, shouting in Japanese that I was pregnant and in labor and needed to get off the highway.

The cars ahead suddenly shifted to allow us to use the shoulder and take the exit. After getting off, it turned out to be an unmarked service road not shown on the map. The car roared to top speed and soon we saw the private tarmac that was surrounded by a barbed wire fence.

“Yes! Okay, everyone out!”

“Are you still there?” Crow asked.

“Yeah! I’m here!”

“The plane’s blue and white, with the picture of a bird on the tail. Right?”

“Yeah! That’s it... Crow...” Mingfei’s voice choked up. “I’m sorry.”

“Hey... pull it together. Only Carli’s allowed to cry now.” He gave a low groaning cough, his voice growing strained. “The plane’s too small to fly far so you’ll have to make new arrangements when you land. As soon as you get on, he’s authorized to fly without delay. Time’s a bit tight. This is all I can do.”

“It’s more than enough.” He said shakily.

I turned and unbuckled Ru’Yi taking the child seat with me.

“Carli.”

I stopped when Crow addressed me.

“There’s more in the back. Stuff for you.”

I covered my face with my hand. “Crow... I’m going to miss you.” I whimpered. I took a deep breath and slid the rest of the way out of the car with Ru’Yi.

Zihang got out and circled around and gave me a tight all encompassing hug. I buried my tears in his shoulder.

He whispered directly in my ear. “I know you care about Crow. But he’s been compromised too many times and now he’s dead.”

I looked up at him, unsure about what he was saying.

“I’m not going to trust his pilot.” He looked at me directly, his eyes dry.

I stared stunned. He was right. “Can you fly the plane?”

“The model is old. But I’ve flown something like this before. I can do it.” He turned as Mingfei shut the door and tossed the keys in the front seat.

“Yeah?” Mingfei blinked at him.

“I’m flying it.”  Johann strode toward the plane that had lowered it’s stairs.

“Eh? But!”

“Here, help me with Ru’Yi’s things!” I told him. “Hurry!”

In the trunk were more diapers and toys and other things. I had a hard time keeping my composure but managed to only sob once or twice.

By the time we had boarded, Johann had the pilot at sword point. His arms were up and he watched us board with clear and open terror. “Please just... just put the sword down... I’ll get off.”

I settled Ru’Yi’s child carrier in the airplane seat.

“Hey, Zihang, that’s enough...” Mingfei was saying.

I looked up in time to see the man backing away toward the door of the plane, chased by the point of Tongzi. Johann turned to go to the cockpit. 

Mingfei went to shut the door. His eyes widened and a shot rang out. Blood spattered and stained the cheap upholstery.

Chu Zihang was out of the cockpit unnaturally fast, pursuing the pilot. I rushed to the door and knelt next to Mingfei who was on the ground and screaming as if he were being burned alive.

The bullet had entered his arm, just above his elbow, but there was enough blood to suggest a chest wound. The flesh around where the bullet had entered seemed to dissolved and soften.

Zihang returned, Tongzi dripping red on the floor. He took one look at Mingfei and hissed. “He used a Sage Stone bullet! Give me Spider Fang!”

Without a second thought, I handed the sword to him. He drew it, lifted Mingfei’s hand, and severed his arm above the elbow. I howled in horror at the sight as he tossed it away.

“Get the first aid kit, there should be a tourniquet.” He knelt next to him and squeezed his arm, putting full pressure on it. 

I scrambled for the kit and found it in the bright red box and returned. Zihang opened it and found the leather strap and began to tie it tight around his arm. By now, Mingfei had lost enough blood so that he was pale and shaking.

“We’ve got to take off. Get him to use Don’t Die, Meixiu. And after that, use Release to lower his dragon blood purity.”

He pushed past me to the cockpit.

I looked into his eyes. “Mingfei... Mingfei... you have to say it with me. Don’t Die. Don’t Die.”

He moaned, gasping for air. “Erii....”

The plane started to turn and then immediately accelerated.

“Don’t Die... Mingfei say it... Say it... Please...” 

The plane lifted off, tilted up at a high angle of attack, speeding into the air. 

Denial filled me.  If he died, it was over, it was all over. This world would never change. I’d be hunted forever. Ru’Yi would be hunted forever. Her daughter and her daughter after her. “Don’t Die... Don’t Die...!”

I suddenly heard Ru’Yi’s yell. It rang like a bell in my head and I turned, but she was just in her child carrier.

When I looked back, Mingfei’s Soul Skill had taken effect. He was healing. “Yes... Yes!” I swallowed hard. “Release.”

I didn’t want hurt him too much. But Sage stones were more effective the higher ones Dragonblood purity. Mingfei was too weak to even cry out as I forced him from S-ranked hybrid all the way down to B rank. His eyes slid shut and he lay still.

I sat back on my hands, covered in blood. I watched his chest until I saw it rise.

[shannaraisles]

Set In Darkness

Chapter: 37 Author name: ShannaraIsles Rating: M Warnings: Canon-typical violence and threat Summary: She’s a Modern Girl in Thedas, but it isn’t what she wanted. There’s a scary dose of reality as soon as she arrives. It isn’t her story. People get hurt here; people die here, and there’s no option to reload if you make a bad decision. So what’s stopping her from plunging head first into the Void at the drop of a hat?

Dread

"How did you manage to cut your sword hand with your own sword?"

The young recruit fidgeted sheepishly. "Showing off, mistress."

Rory felt herself smile at his embarrassed honesty. "I'd suggest not doing that again," she recommended, gently uncurling his fingers to take a closer look at his palm now the bleeding had stopped.

The cut was mercifully shallow, and Elgor's quick thinking to put snow into the boy's fist had both cleaned the wound and dramatically reduced the bleeding. Rory reached for the pouches on her belt, glad she'd refilled them before leaving the clinic to visit the training ground. Her real purpose here was to eavesdrop on Cullen's interactions with the newly-arrived mages, but providence had given her a reason to linger in the form of this bleeding recruit.

The mages had arrived two days ago - not all of them, but a vanguard of thirty experienced magic users, hand-picked for the assault on the Breach. As far as she could tell, the hundreds of mages, novices, and Tranquil still on the road from Redcliffe were being escorted by a large contingent of Inquisition soldiers and agents, more for their own protection than anything. By the sound of things, Cullen had the vanguard well enough in hand ... or would have done, had Vivienne not decided to play her hand. The trouble wasn't anything to do with mages and templars; it all seemed to revolve around just who was in charge.

"My dear Fiona, aren't you a little old to be trying to lead an army?" the First Enchanter of Montsimmard was saying with deceptive concern. "You're not the leader of the mage rebellion any longer. You are simply a mage of the Inquisition, one of many."

"And I suppose you believe yourself to be our leader now?" Grand Enchanter Fiona replied with some heat. "A politician, whose voice was in the minority when we voted to leave the Circle?"

"I am an ally of the Inquisition," Vivienne pointed out. "As you might have been, had you not foolishly thrown in your lot with a Tevinter magister."

"What choice did we have?" Fiona demanded. "The templars would have destroyed us all!"

"You could have swallowed your pride and come back to the Circle," Vivienne reminded her coolly. "You could have asked the Ferelden king to aid you, given his leaning toward assistance in the first place. Instead, you invited a magister to take control of hundreds of our people, without even consulting them. A strange decision for a woman who would not leave the Circle without a democratic vote."

As much as she hated to admit it, Rory found herself agreeing with Vivienne. Alexius' presence in Redcliffe was a means to an end for Bioware, but here in the living world of Thedas, Fiona's actions were almost impossible to understand. Was she really arrogant enough to think that the hundreds who had followed her out of the Circle would blindly accept it when she sold them all to a Tevinter magister? Having met some of them, Rory knew that at least some would rather have returned to the Circle than risk corruption at the hands of the Imperium.

"And you consider yourself more fit to lead those who disagree with you, Madame De Fer?" Fiona asked in an acid tone. "This separation of my people, the templars set to watch them - all your doing?"

"Actually, Grand Enchanter, these safeguards are in place at my order," Cullen interjected with surprising calm. "Your people are at much greater risk of possession this close to the Breach. You may not like the decisions made, but they have been made for your protection."

"Protection?" Fiona scoffed scornfully. "And what does the Knight-Captain of Kirkwall know of protecting mages?"

Rory felt herself bristle on Cullen's behalf, raising her eyes from her bandaging to scowl over at the Grand Enchanter. Cullen's jaw was set angrily as the elven mage derided him, but he offered no argument to her accusation. It wasn't all his fault! How are you lay all those abuses entirely at his feet! But she couldn't intervene. She was, after all, just a healer.

"As a man who has seen with his own eyes the worst of mages and templars, it would appear he knows more of protection than a woman who sold herself and those who trusted her into indentured servitude," Vivienne countered Fiona's derision, one perfect brow raised. "You have hardly proven yourself a paragon of virtue in that respect."

"I will not hand my people over to you," Fiona flared angrily.

"No, Grand Enchanter, you will not."

Rory felt herself relax again at the sound of Leliana's voice. The Left Hand of the Divine might not agree with the conscription of the mages, but she could be relied upon to keep order here in Haven, regardless of whose toes she had to step on.

"Your actions do not mark you as the best choice to lead the mages," Leliana was saying sternly. "You are their senior voice, that is all. The rebel mages are now a part of the Inquisition, and will obey orders like every other worker, soldier, and agent. You have been given your orders."

There was silence from Fiona - shocked silence, undoubtedly - and a moment later, she brushed past Rory, marching away in steaming resentment. Well, that went well, Rory thought to herself, tying off the bandage in her hands. I guess some mages really do feel as entitled as some templars think they do. She offered the recruit an encouraging smile as Leliana went on.

"Madame De Fer, you are, as you state, an ally of the Inquisition," the spymaster said in a firm tone. "You have no authority over members of the Inquisition, such as the conscripted mages."

"I merely thought to offer my assistance to the commander," Vivienne answered smoothly.

"Yet the commander had no need of assistance until you chose to involve yourself," Leliana informed her. "Kindly do not do so again."

"As you wish, my dear."

As Vivienne sashayed away, leaving Cullen and Leliana to talk over that near-disaster in the making, Rory raised her eyes to the worried expression of the boy in front of her.

"Well, I can safely say you're not going to lose the hand," she assured him with a smile. "I want you to come by the clinic tomorrow, and someone will check that wound for you. You can chew elfroot leaves for the pain."

"What about fighting, mistress?" he asked, eager to get back to his training.

She raised a brow as she considered this. "I'd take the opportunity to find out if you can be as good with your left hand," she suggested, feeling her smile widen into a grin at his enthusiastic nod. "But if you cut that one, too, you've only got yourself to blame."

"Oh, I won't," he promised fervently. "Thank you, mistress."

She watched him walk off, proudly displaying his bandaged hand as though it were a real war wound, feeling her smile fade. Kaaras was due back any day; the mages were here. The assault on the Breach, the attack on Haven ... they might only be days away. That boy might well be dead by the end of the week. Her stomach twisted at the thought. This place that had become home would be burned and buried all too soon. Would she even survive the fall of Haven?

A gentle hand at her back roused her from those thoughts. She drew in a sharp breath, glancing up to find Cullen looking down at her with a worried frown.

"What's wrong?" he asked softly.

Rory shook her head, forcing a weary smile onto her face. "Dark thoughts," she told him as honestly as she could.

"Such as?"

She let go of her breath in a rush, wishing she could warn him about what was coming. But that was a one-way-ticket to a painful death; she'd seen enough of this world to know that by now. "What real wounds that boy is going to take," she admitted morbidly. "I know - it's not guaranteed that he'll ever get hurt with a sword again. It's my imagination going dark on me."

"Everyone has moments like that," he tried to reassure her, unaware that she knew closing the Breach would not be something to celebrate. "You're sure you're staying at the clinic tonight?"

"I can't ask Evy to do it," she told him apologetically. "I need to stay, at least tonight. I don't even know what's wrong with them."

"It's not contagious?" he asked in concern, relieved when she shook her head.

"No," she said in a troubled tone. "If it was, we'd all be showing symptoms by now. They've been in Haven at least a month, and it's only in the last few days this has moved beyond our control. I don't ... I don't know what to do."

His hands moved to her shoulders, his head dipping until she met his eyes. "You'll give them the best care, as you give everyone," he told her, his absolute confidence in her ability drawing a reluctant smile to her face. "If it is their time, they will go to the Maker with dignity. Because of you, and your people."

"It is what I do," she conceded, tilting her head to look at him properly. "How are you?"

"I'll live." He straightened, taking his hands from her shoulders. Despite all of Haven, and most of the Inquisition, knowing how things stood between them, Cullen was still leery of being openly seen to care for her.

"Cullen ..." She wasn't fooled. "I'll let you in on a little secret. When you have a headache, the vein in your right temple throbs. So how bad is it?"

He winced faintly, raising a hand to touch his temple ... a hand that she noticed was shaking just a little. "Worse than usual, but not as bad as it could be," he confessed quietly.

"Did you take anything?"

He shook his head. Rory sighed, her exasperation tempered with loving fondness. Stubborn man. How am I supposed to help when you don't tell me you're in pain? She opened the third pouch to the left of her belt buckle, extracting a small vial.

"Where's your cup?" she asked, taking it when he scooped it up from his makeshift desk. She filled the vessel from the communal drinking water supply - boiled clean every morning, thanks to her persistence - and let a single drop from the vial fall into his cup. "I want you to drink all of this, please."

"What is it?" Cullen asked suspiciously, eyeing the water as he took his cup back from her hand.

"Comfrey and prophet's laurel," she told him. Among other things. "And if you still have a headache in an hour, take a dose of the elfroot potion."

"This tastes revolting, you know," he commented, obediently draining the cup with a grimace.

"It's medicine," she pointed out wryly. "If it tasted good, everyone would want to be sick."

He snorted in amusement, his smile once more only visible in his eyes. "You certainly have a unique perspective."

"Hadn't you worked that out by now?" She chuckled affectionately. "See you at dinner?"

Cullen nodded, setting the empty cup down. "I'll come to the clinic for you," he promised. If they weren't spending the night together, they could at least share meals together. "Try not to worry yourself too much."

"I won't if you don't," she challenged, getting a roll of his eyes for her trouble as she walked away, offering a grin and a wave to Krem and the Iron Bull before taking the steps to enter Haven.

The door to the clinic was standing open when she reached it, a sign that no one was being seen in the outer room just now. Evy was checking stock, something she'd picked up from Rory when things were quiet. There was always something to do, even if it didn't seem like it. Seeing her do it now, however, reminded Rory to check on the overflow stores in the Chantry. If she'd guessed right, they'd be able to take a lot of that with them during the evacuation.

"How are things?" she asked in a quiet voice, hanging her cloak and coat up by the door.

The younger woman met her eyes with a defeated gaze. "No change,” she said with an unhappy sigh. "They still can't keep anything down but water."

Rory knew that look; that sense of helplessness in the face of something beyond their aid. "It's no one's fault, Evy," she told her friend, squeezing her shoulder gently. "Sometimes there's nothing we can do but try to keep them comfortable."

"It doesn't seem fair," Evy protested softly.

"It never is," Rory agreed in a sad voice. "Why don't you go to the Chantry? Ask Mother Giselle to send someone over. The Chant might give them a little peace we can't."

Evy nodded, glancing at her work. "I'll just finish this first."

"All right."

Rory wished she could help her friend, but there was very little she could do in that regard. It was one thing to lose a patient in the chaos of battle, when blood and pain was swiftly there and gone, and it was easy to see death as the healer's friend. It was quite another when your patient lingered for days, betrayed by their own body, unable to help themselves. To watch someone die by inches was never easy, but it was a fact of life for anyone that worked in care. This was Evy's first brush with that fact, and Rory knew it would stay with her for the rest of her life. It never got any easier, but you found ways to cope. Evy would, too.

Wiping the sadness from her face, Rory let herself into the ward, her expression betraying none of the shock she always felt on seeing these patients under her nurses' care. Just a few days ago, they had been healthy, robust brothers, seemingly destined for good careers in Cullen's army. Now they were barely shadows of what they had been; fat and muscle wasting away before her eyes, their bodies hardly more than flesh-covered skeletons. She didn't know what was wrong, or how to treat it, but until they could no longer even swallow water, there was hope.

Or there would be, if Corypheus were not about to attack. Not for the first time, she found herself wishing a swift death on the men under her care, if only to spare her the decision she would have to make as Haven burned. Did she really have it in her to make that kind of choice for them? If they lingered, they would all find out together.

[jewish-gay-elves]

Doomed Love 1/?

AO3 Link

Zevran and Daolin have an odd relationship. These documents were collected to try to understand what exactly they were doing after the Fifth Blight and the destruction of Amaranthine.

Words: 3431, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English

Series: Part 2 of the Daolin Tabris: The Family You Don't Choose

Fandoms: Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age (Video Games) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Categories: M/M Characters: Zevran Arainai, Male Tabris, Male Warden, Anders Relationships: Zevran Arainai/Warden, Zevran Arainai/Tabris, Zevran Arainai/Male Warden, Zevran Arainai/Male Tabris Additional Tags: this is a bunch of like letters or just documentation following my warden post-blight, and post amaranthine, idk how long it's going to be, Dialogue Drabble, talking about the Taint

[Recovered drafts found in the desk of the Warden Commander of Ferelden, Vigil’s Keep 9:36 Dragon]

Dear Love,

I remember being nineteen summers when we first met. It was hot and sticky in that little crevice between hills which probably wasn’t hot at all compared to Antiva for you. I was worried when that human came up to us, Cynbayd had already given a warning growl and Alistair was bristling as she delivered her plea. Alistair grabbed my shoulder perhaps to try and warn me, but I wasn’t feeling the warmest towards him at the time. Still was having night terrors about Vaughan even months after what happened. Didn’t want to help her but didn’t want him touching me more. Just to spite him I shrugged him off, nocked an arrow, and followed the girl. Instead of, well whatever I was expecting, it wasn’t the sight of you standing there waiting, along with that blasted tree collapsing above us.

The fight that followed may have been one of the most difficult I fought in that year. Alistair probably still has a bruise from where you ended up punching him. Though you seemed to be very thankful that his shield didn’t bash your nose into your skull. Looking back it is a wonder that none of us died, I think about that everyday now it seems. It may be because I keep hearing the story repeated in these taverns I find on especially cold nights. Regaled around tables over the warm piss for ale everyone seems to serve.

Remember after the final battle, when my father came up to us, the face you made may be my favorite thus far. How he demanded we sit down for a proper meal, and wouldn’t let you slink away after I said you were the reason fate hadn’t let me get married. Wasn’t surprised when he also demanded the whole story. Glad we glossed over how we actually met. A horde of mercenaries and a trained Antivan Crow, that certainly would have given my father a heart attack had we told him. Glad he thinks you’re a charming devil. You’ll look out for him whenever you’re in Denerim won’t you? Afraid I won’t be in the region for quite some time. Won’t be in the country for quite some time.

That leads to why I actually wrote this letter. You know me, can’t get to the point if my life depended on it. I’m leaving Ferelden my love. Sounds silly to write it like that when you haven’t been here in what feels like years. Without you, I’m not home. Regardless, Ferelden is all I’ve ever known. Not sure for how long I’ll be gone. Not sure if I’ll be back. Not sure if I’ll be able to write as often. Wouldn’t want to bore you with details, just know that I will think of you every day. I think of you daily anyway, but I don’t want you to forget that. I love you, Zevran.

Yours,

Daolin

[The bottom of the draft is rumpled from a small amount of water damage]

[Discarded crumpled bits of paper found amongst the Warden-Commander’s personal belongings 9:41 Dragon]

Grand Enchanter Fiona

-Must find more records of her time as a Warden.

-Montsimmard

-Apparently now serves the Inquisition.

-Redcliffe? Skyhold?

Avernus

-Blood Magic

-DO NOT ATTEMPT

Must figure something out, Weisshaupt will have nothing. Nothing for me to look at, at any rate. Why would they want to cure the Taint if they know that is what keeps half of their men with the Wardens? Zevran is starting to wonder why I haven’t told him what’s going on. He won’t believe I’m acting on Weisshaupt’s orders much longer. He’s not stupid. So clever, too clever. Just knows me too well to ask questions yet. Just need to tell him what is really going on. That I’m scared of the Calling. That I’m scared to become a ghoul. I’m scared I’ll end up hurting him. I’m so scared.

[The rest of the paper grows increasingly scratched on and marked out, as if ideas were written and quickly discarded in anger and frustration]

[A page torn out of the apostate Anders’ journal dating around 9:43 Dragon]

Andraste’s flaming knickers I thought I was being careful. I got found today. Thankfully it was just the Warden Commander. Though I don’t know what he wants so I may not have much to be thankful for soon. The Commander is a ranger however, that may be how he was able to find me despite my best efforts to travel unnoticed. He hasn’t explained why he was looking for me yet. Just came into the cave where I was, drenched to the bone, and demanded I build up a fire. He always did remind me of a cat, especially his hatred for being wet or cold. I remember we were in the Blackmarsh and all of his orders were practically spat at us. Didn’t particularly help things when that spirit showed up in Kristoff’s body. To be fair, Kristoff wasn’t actually using it anymore, but he had a point that the dead deserved respect.

Regardless, we are as far from the Blackmarsh as can be. Practically skirting around the borders of the Tevinter Imperium at this point. There aren’t as many Venatori around here, I suspect they’ve retreated back to their hidey holes in the Magisterium. Though I imagine that even if there were Venatori here, they wouldn’t be for long. In this kind of weather the Commander’s rage wouldn’t be limited to just darkspawn. However, I had heard stories from Oghren that suggest the Commander might not need more reasons to wish death on Tevinters. Apparently they had a slave operation running out of Denerim’s alienage during the Fifth Blight.

Almost makes me think of Fenris. Or maybe Isabela. But then again, Isabela didn’t grow up knowing those people who were about to become slaves. She still freed them though.

The Warden-Commander is starting to unnerve me. He hasn’t said a word since he got here. He was never one for words in the first place but this is getting creepy. He’s just been standing guard near the cave entrance, as if he were waiting on something. Or someone?

[The entry ends there to be picked up an undetermined amount of time later]

Turns out my guess about waiting was correct. Not long after I wrote that, a mabari started barking. Very, very, close to the cave. Scared the piss out of me, but the Warden-Commander just laughed at me but then eagerly stood outside in the rain looking for the mabari. Actually went out into the rain willingly for it. I’ve never seen that man step into the rain for anything less than total annihilation or the threat of darkspawn.

Could barely see a thing through the thick downpour but where I thought the Warden-Commander was he bent down to see this lump I assumed and then the mabari stopped making noise. Then another humanoid figure appeared next to where the Warden-Commander was crouched, I almost shouted a warning but then he surged to his feet and collided with the other person, tackling them into the mud. I almost ran out there assuming that he was being attacked but over the sound of the rain I heard loud laughing, laughing of the kind I hadn’t heard in over a decade.

After standing out in the rain for a moment longer, holding on to my staff, the one Hawke had given me, I started trying to get closer, seeing the lump jumping around where the Warden-Commander had gone down. I called out to the Commander, trying to be quiet so that we wouldn’t get anymore attention drawn to us. The lump stopped and I could finally see that it must have been that mabari who was making all the noise. The laughing died down and then I saw an arm reach into the air and wave from where I guess the Commander was on the ground.

Eventually I gave up and headed back inside the cave. They have to come back inside sooner or later, and knowing the Commander it’ll probably be sooner. I should stop writing, he hates it when it seems like I’m not paying attention.

[The rest of the page is torn and any sentences that are written are incomplete.]