#imagine being in their positions and getting fanfictions about you kissing your fellow actor

[daylightisviolent]

PSA to anyone who feels like sending fanfic to the people which the fanfic is centered around is a good thing to do

It is not. It's literally the first rule of being in a fandom.

You do not send fanfictions to the actors, musicians, youtubers or whoever else you have written about.

If you didn't know before that's okay, but just don't do it again. Especially if you didn't ask for permission to even send it.

Just don't do it.

[quarterfromcanon]

1-4. For the asks

Thank you so much for sending these! <3 

Once I started to answer them, I realized there were comparatively few recent television shows appearing on the list. I seemed to keep gravitating toward older ones I remembered from years ago. I took a handful of days to mull it over in case I was forgetting something, but nothing else comes to mind. Maybe my ongoing list of Shows to Watch During Quarantine will turn up some fresh results but, for now, it looks like I’ll be taking a little trip down memory lane. :) 

This turned out to be a pretty long and rambly post, so I’ll stow it under the cut!

Top 5 TV Shows 

1. Crazy Ex-Girlfriend - I can’t imagine this surprises anyone who has been following this blog for the past two years or so. It brought fellow fans into my life, got me back into writing fic, and prompted countless tags of meta. It’s the show my mind drifts to on a weekly basis (if not daily) even a full year after the finale. Just when it seemed I’d reached an age where that level of intense fandom involvement and character attachment might be fading, it proved that quite the opposite was true. I’m very thankful to the series for that, and for the people whose paths have crossed mine as a result.   

2. Schitt’s Creek - This is my #1 Feel Good show and, though I’ve been dodging spoilers for the final season until it gets uploaded to Netflix, I get the impression that it will remain in that top spot. The world feels softer and more hopeful there. It’s healing for my soul. I’m going to have a dreadfully difficult time saying goodbye, but I’m glad there are six season to revisit whenever I want. 

3. Stranger Things - The theme song alone sends such a rush of excitement through me. I love the aesthetic and the atmosphere. I sometimes have mixed feelings about the romances but the FRIENDSHIPS sure do have a direct line to my heartstrings. I think the way they’ve combined media influences into their own story is really neat. You get something that’s new and engaging, but you can also go back and enjoy the sources of inspiration with fresh appreciation. 

4. Joan of Arcadia - I can’t help it. The snark, the jackets, the early 2000s songs, the performances -- the nostalgia for this show is so strong. It’s not without its problems, but it did have some really good things to offer as well. I remember an episode that was one of my earliest introductions to the concept of a trigger, and the effect it could have on a person if exposed to one of theirs. The series dealt a lot with grief and the many forms it can take (I STILL can’t hear Fiona Apple’s cover of “Across the Universe” without getting misty-eyed). I’m also surprised, looking back, at the somewhat positive way I recall them discussing homosexuality on the several occasions that it came up in the show. Not to give too much credit since I don’t think there were recurring canonically LGBTQIA+ characters but, for a kid who spent most days around closed-minded people of a certain religious leaning, it was meaningful along my individual journey. I’d like to provide the several examples that are most vivid in my memory:

A. A girl with short hair, short nails, little to no makeup, and a bulky leather jacket is generally assumed to be a lesbian by the bullies at school. The show directly confronts the fact that “gay” should not be used an insult, that identity should not be assumed without the person telling you so, AND makes sure that the character in question never pushes back by saying harmful things about lesbians despite not actually being one herself. 

B. A boy who is questioning is able to confide in his big brother and have a fairly calm conversation about it; the awkwardness mostly comes from neither of them being accustomed to openly discussing emotions, not from the possibility of a negative response regarding the subject matter. 

C. Another character is accidentally discovered to be gay (he only appears in the one episode, if my memory serves), and some of the leads have the opportunity to share that for personal gain. However, even though he is a popular jock who is a bit of a jerk in the hallways, the show makes it clear that the right choice is still to leave the telling of that information up to him and him alone. 

Like I mentioned, it can’t be said that representation was in abundance here - for instance, I don’t believe anything other than straight or gay was presented as a possibility - but any accepting acknowledgement in a faith-centric series was something for me to hold on to in my still-deeply-closeted days. As a final Very Important personal side note, this show brought Judith Montgomery into my life (pictured below on the left), and that feels like it merits a shoutout for being what I consider a rather significant marker in my awakening. 

THE OVERWHELMING CRUSH I HAD - and still have - is one for the books. 

5. Pushing Daisies - This is another show with an aesthetic I adore. The series has such a fun, whimsical energy. The crime-solving! The clothes! The cast! There's a lot to love. It’s the kind of world I wish I could visit... well, minus the evidently rampant murder rate. 

Top 5 Overrated TV Shows

1. Once Upon A Time - *deep sigh* I tried to stick with it for so long. I think I’ve seen five out of the seven seasons in their entirety. It just felt like everything got mired down by excessive (and increasingly convoluted) subplots, often for the purpose of tossing in as many fairytale and/or Disney characters as possible. Plus, quite honestly, there was too much emphasis on romantic love. For a show whose first season involved a curse being broken by [potential spoiler, I suppose] a mother kissing her son’s forehead, I ultimately found myself up to my ears in romantic ships. It reached such a stifling extent that, if you were not particularly attached to those pairings, there wasn’t a whole lot else to entice further viewing. 

2. Under the Dome - I don’t know for certain what the general public opinion of this series was, but it felt like the commercials always featured alleged rave reviews, so I figured I could include it here. I was vaguely interested in Season 1, mainly as a fan of Rachelle Lefevre’s work. Season 2 pulled me in with the introduction of a new townsperson and I threw WAY too much of my heart into that attachment, which backfired when that character was killed. I made quite the spectacle of my heartbreak, so much so that my family doesn’t let me mention this show around them anymore. :P Season 3 was, to phrase it delicately, not a great time. The series did introduce me to a few new-to-me actors, though, so that was cool. 

3. Bates Motel - Even the incentive of learning that the two characters I liked most share a lot of screen time later in the series hasn’t been enough to call me back to this one. I don’t know if it was the pacing that put me off or what, but the prospect of finishing the remaining seasons feels so daunting. There are evidently five seasons in total and I believe I’ve only seen two of them thus far. I will probably muddle through it someday just to see how it goes, but the fact that I am so disinclined to prioritize it made this feel like a fair addition to the list. 

4. Lost - My interest in this series unfortunately waned right before fervent fandom spiked. I don’t have any specific complaints that come to mind about what I saw; I just sort of drifted and then stayed away. Teachers I liked and peers I spent time with were starting to latch on to the show and I couldn’t find even the slightest inclination to give it a second try. However, did I still dutifully read all the latest installments in my friend’s Sawyer Ford and Kate Austen fanfiction when she passed me handwritten copies at lunch? Sure. I was glad it made her happy, even if I was no longer a viewer. 

5. Hemlock Grove - I say this as someone who still mourns the fates of some characters in this show, so I wouldn’t go so far as to claim that the series stopped being able to make me feel anything. I’m just of the opinion that, in some ways, it might’ve been better off stopping at one season. That’s where the book it was based on ends, and things just didn’t feel as cohesive after that. Season 3 especially was - borrowing from my above review of Under the Dome - not a great time. That being said, there are also certain elements from the book that I could’ve done without in the Season 1 adaptation but... well... here we are. 

Top 5 Underrated TV Shows

1. Picnic at Hanging Rock - Another one that won’t surprise followers of this blog. I have rhapsodized about it quite frequently since I found it a little over a month ago. It’s a period piece mystery miniseries with LGBTQIA+ representation, gorgeous costumes, and Samara Weaving. This felt specifically designed to wedge its way into my heart, and I’m quite content with the space it now occupies.

2. Dark - I’m so intrigued by the overlapping timelines with all of the morally gray characters. It’s possible to like one of these people in the timeline where they’re young but dislike them as adults, or vice versa. It also makes me think of Rant by Chuck Palahniuk a little tiny bit with the idea that time travel, specifically tampering with your own timeline, might make you physically and behaviorally unrecognizable to yourself. And the SONG CHOICES! I have gotten some solid new music selections from this series. 

3. Sense8 - I still need to watch the finale. I really do. But I knew it would make me sad so I’ve avoided it for... two years now? Pretty close, I think. The concept is fascinating and the cast is so strong. Plus the cinematography! They came up with some of the coolest ways to depict the link these characters share and what it’s like when they connect over distance. The planning and careful editing it all must’ve taken... I remain in awe. 

4. Penny Dreadful - There were definitely some story/writing choices I didn’t particularly like along the way, but I did get engrossed in the creepy goodness and the performances -- Eva Green’s Vanessa Ives most of all. It left me wishing for more period piece “monster mash” stories, because having all those classic characters in one place was a blast. It also helped me understand why Helen McCrory was once slated to play Bellatrix Lestrange because she can be terrifying. Oh and Sarah Greene in her Wild West outfits? Perdita Weeks with short red hair in fencing garb, and later in all leather with boots and a long jacket? I WAS NOT PREPARED AND I HAVE STILL NOT RECOVERED. I NEVER WILL.

5. Wonderfalls - There’s some cringe-inducing handling of certain representation in the series, but I have such a weak spot for quippy outcasts who become reluctant chosen ones (Joan Girardi in Joan of Arcadia, Wynonna Earp, Jaye Tyler in this series, et cetera). I also really love the sibling dynamics here. They bicker, tease one another, help each other out of trouble, and have rare but genuine heart-to-hearts. Caroline, Lee, and Katie all did such a great job blending their characters’ adult personalities with certain childhood attributes that rise to the surface in the presence of family.  

Top 5 Movies

1. Addams Family Values - I’ve rewatched this movie at least once annually since I found it in Media Play at age 13. Usually, I’ll play it around Halloween or, at the latest, Thanksgiving. It’s mouth-along-with-every-line level ingrained in my memory. I find myself leaning forward in my seat before favorite parts because I’m still that excited to relive them. Why this movie, and why this devotion to such a degree? It’s hard to explain, even to myself. I can tell you, however, that I hold up every other portrayal of the Addams characters to the versions found in this. Everybody in the cast just feels that perfect for their part. 

2. Clue - I was already pretty fond of this movie to begin with, but then my sister got older and claimed it as a favorite of her own, so now she just supplies me with further excuses to watch it repeatedly. It’s also been a bonding piece of media with a couple of close friends and such through the years. It’s incredible to think not everyone in it was the first choice for their roles; what everybody brings to the table is so top-notch that I wouldn’t have it any other way. I also LOVE knowing that it originally went to theaters with different endings depending on which showing you attended. I gather people weren’t terribly thrilled with the stunt back then, but I kinda think some moviegoers would be into that approach these days? Then again, one hit that tried something different tends to start a fad, so maybe I’d end up regretting the suggestion after a while. :P

3. The Craft - This. Movie. Yes, Act III is a major bummer even though I know it’s coming, and I’ll always wish it ended differently. Even so. This. Movie. I tend to headcanon mostly for shows and sometimes books, but The Craft is a beloved exception. I love so much about it: the magic, the music, the clothes, the settings, the dynamics within the friend group, the performances. I had no idea when I first got the DVD at 17 that it would become such a part of my life, but I’m so glad it found its way to me. 

4. Romy and Michele’s High School Reunion - The soundtrack is a glorious ’80s and ’90s treat for my ears. The colorful costumes are perfectly suited to the main characters’ version of the world. There are so many great lines and it feels like everyone is having a lot of fun in their roles. I LOVE HEATHER MOONEY SO MUCH. She’s my awful, scathingly sarcastic, little grungy grump and she fills my heart with joy. 

5. The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King - I was pretty sure at least one of the three had to appear on here. I think, if I were to tally them all up, The Return of the King features most of my favorite moments, so it wins the spot. “I can’t carry it for you, but I can carry you!”, ‘Edge of Night,’ Éowyn in battle, The Army of the Dead, ‘Into the West’... I end up crying during the end credits every time. So, yeah, ultimately, I would choose the third part of the trilogy if I could only watch one. 

Phew, that’s it! All the questions answered, all the shows and movies listed! Thank you to anyone who takes the time to read it all, and thanks again to @monaiargancoconutsoy for sending in the prompts! <3

[incarnateirony]

The Homo-Hetero Paradox

This is gonna be long AF but is for those confused (or frustrated at/with) why some people believe their queer ship deserves endgame. This actually goes for multiple fandoms, but due to my core fandom, I’m gonna use The Obvious Example.

This is a hotly spoken thing, and a lot of people are “bothered” when certain things are, essentially, treated like “must be endgame” from a seemingly assumed position,which irks some people. Many don’t realize there is a difference between “This ship” or “that ship” because they’re not wired to see The Gay, and that’s okay, as long as you’re willing to respect, and listen, to why people see it. You have your right to not see it, but you also need to understand when “endgame” talks up from incidents like showrunners or authors declaring intention, so if you’re honestly interested... read on. Because odds are, if you can trudge through all of this, even if you don’t agree with their interpretation, you hopefully gain some respect for them as people on WHY they hold that belief.

So there’s something I really, really need to clarify here. 

I can talk all day about 

authorial intent.

I can 

ELI5 “canon”, “subtext”, “romance,” 

or the dictionary all day long.

I can literally cover 

the growth of this from the dawn of time,

But this itself is preaching to a choir until we write something with full intention of reaching out to those who may, genuinely actually not know. This isn’t intended for the antis sourced in issues like character/actor hate who literally will never see the logic because they don’t want to, but for those who WANT to actually understand where this comes from. It’s long. But this is about understanding your fellow fandomites as human beings, and honestly applies to multiple fandoms. 

Because the way this fandom has been trained into its narrative - and the way this culture has been geared into its narrative - the way SOCIETY has been geared into this narrative - the common reduction is, “this is just about a ship.”

And no. it isn’t. It’s so much deeper than that.Before continuing, keep those three list points in mind, whether you read them first, or as I reference them later.

So this is something written to implore every person that says, “I support the LGBT community but-”, or “I mean, I love gay people, I have gay friends, but-” or “I experimented a few times but-”, because even the latter can have internalized conditioning and not even realize what, exactly, they’re saying, or doing, because you’ve drawn a line in YOUR head where the fandom line is from canon, which is actually sometimes different from where the showrunners have even admitted that line is, and you don’t realize it or now about it. Much less the former. If you are any of these people, or if you’ve DEALT with any of these people, who see how people contend for the writing of ANY ship - in this fandom, most likely and by-and-large Destiel, but ANYWHERE - that is LGBT oriented - keep reading. Send it to them and get THEM to keep reading. Because I’m going to say something beyond “representation.”

Disclaimer: This is not about All Gay Ships Ever, this is about ships with confirmed authorial/showrunner/creator intent statements. I am in no way saying Anything Anyone Imagines Up Gayly Ever is part of this. Hell, I’m even being slightly exclusory in not including ones that are plain as day without intent statements, but that’s why I’m using this example: intent statements WITH plot/etc that STILL get resistance. But this becomes muddied to people who aren’t wired to see this engagement, in a world and fandom full of random pairings, that don’t follow author stuff.

If you’re honestly interested on understanding this phenomenon in viewership, and HONESTLY interested in understanding where this frustration comes from, I need you to do an exercise:

I want you to imagine a world where you can watch years of romantic burn going on between opposite gender characters. Every trope, every classic arc in the book. The authors go, yup, that’s exactly what we were going for there, thanks for noticing! Now imagine if whenever your male/female pairing get close, people scream it’s fanservice. If they don’t kiss, it doesn’t count, and you’re just in crazy fanfiction land seeing things that aren’t there; if you want them to be confirmed, you’re just missing the point of everything else in the show; and if they DO kiss, you’ve just ruined everything because you’ve made it all about a relationship, even if it’s just one moment and the rest goes back to normal. Where your male/female pairing is damned if they do and damned if they don’t; where they can never be with the person that clearly makes them most complete, because someone is going to make an accusation in a direction.

I need you to imagine this as your default. Every show. Now I want you to keep reading.

The reason I use Destiel, beyond obvious fandom affiliation, as my example is because of just how flagrant this is. And I understand - if you’re sitting on the other side of the fence, you may not realize just how flagrant it is. And that’s why it becomes very important for people in the LGBT+ community at times, while very upsetting in the opposite direction for others (such as the frequently used term “queerbait”, which also earns trigger-response on both sides of the fence, usually eyerolls from those who don’t get it). You’ll generally find LGBT+ people sitting at one side or the other on this discussion: Believing in endgame, or upset and saying queerbait. And there’s a reason, and if you’ve never understood... this is for you.

I need to paint a picture for you. In the links above, I covered three critical topics: 

what literally defines canon/subtext/romance, 

the growth of the story as per trackable history,

and literal statements from even the showrunners confirming the intended romantic tilt of certain scenes.

And people, bless them, people who really do believe they are open minded come back with statements like, “it’s stretching,” and “no reason to not make it clear if that’s what they want.” Because, as per the pages I’m going to have to expound on with how complex this issue is, they’re yet to actually grasp why it’s so damned difficult.

And then some of us get mad. And this is why “queerbait” even hangs in the balance. Endgame or queerbait. Faith in the show, or distrust in it. You’ll see in the “authorial intent” link that I even cited how major LGBT representation venues have started itself cataloguing SPN since these statements. Multiple major venues have started listing it at the top of queerbait listings - EVEN OUTSIDE THE FANDOM. This is literally becoming this franchise’s legacy in the modern world while trying to launch a confirmed LGBT-pairing-author-intentional new spinoff for a younger demographic, of which statistically less than 50% identify as straight as per a recent census. (Source) That’s half of their potential demographic this matters to on a personal level, much less how more open and aware the not-straight youngsters around them are to issues for their friends in this generation, which has grown up entirely different and more open-and-aware. (Compared to millenials 21-34 at 65% hetero, 35% scaling “other” - still 35% of our target demo too)

This is a generation behind us that performs giant school walkouts, orchestrates waterfalls of social PR and even political motions just as they’re getting their voting cards. Whether or not you agree with their opinion isn’t what’s relevant - what’s relevant is that they are literally the money making target demo for the future of this entire franchise. And “Queerbait” does not need to be the legacy of this show.

But before we even get into the freakishly dangerous fallout that is attached to this sentiment, let’s just fall back to the simple point: this started being our legacy years ago, and TPTB started making steps to repair them.

The issue is, as they make steps to repair them, the LGBT community itself runs into resistance from those who somehow think they’re allies, because they’re COMPLETELY unaware of the paradox they have built for us.

This goes for almost ANY literature, film, TV, anything. This goes ALMOST ANYWHERE. And yes, it does apply, in every corner, to Destiel as well. 

“It’s just... to feed that part of the fanbase!”

Okay... cool, but... if they admitted they did it, and they’re on screen doing the thing, and recognized doing the thing, and presented the thing, then why do you treat the LGBT community (or anyone else that sees and supports it) as somehow the crazy ones for seeing the thing? Because things-that-happened-on-the-show-and-were-confirmed-by-the-author/showrunner is literally the definition of canon, so it is at least canon that there would be romantic feelings involved, it just isn’t a “canon couple,” such as one that has become an actual pair/in an active relationship. So why is it crazy to see what we are told is there? And do you understand how this makes us feel when this is said to us, when we know it has been confirmed? What is the subtext about non-hetero relations/emotions then?

“Well, no reason for them to REALLY do it if they don’t make it clear.”

Okay... so... at what point is it clear? When they say “We did a thing, and intended to do the thing,” That’s fine on a one off (Jilted Lover Castiel). But what about when other incidents come back up? A second time? (Thompson’s statement) A third? (Colette-Castiel). All confirmed. What if it goes so far they film side by side frame by frame parallels to romantic pairings shot by the same director as before, or share the same dialogue? (multiple incidents). What if these things all tie together into a complete storyline and you guys keep saying each and every time that it wasn’t CLEAR enough, no matter what the authors said? What if the showrunner himself declared intent, or penned something obvious as hell that got cut once they had to extend to a new season? And what if this all ran a long plot arc, and all of these statements tied into the same story, that interconnected like a tapestry? And what if, after being a Jilted Lover, a Fated Wife, and implied as basically canon, we even get this just before the end line:

“Okay, well that last one never happened, though. They FILMED it and chose not to use it.” 

Okay, great? That... happens a lot in film.  But when you have a full circle of these statements, a full... everything (read the authorial intent link), and this original ending line there - how do you expect people that are open, receptive, or even resonate with LGBT+ issues to see this show? How do you EXPECT them to interpret it? And after ALL of these author statements, how do you think they feel when you tell them an emotional story about two people who haven’t let themselves be together, or life, or directors, or whatever else - how do you think that feels? Sure. It didn’t reach that end line, but does that mean all of the other intentional undertones and previous statements and VIBE of the story didn’t exist, we’re crazy for seeing it just cuz that scene didn’t lock it in and they didn’t fall into each other’s arms? Or did they just not get their happy ending? Were all the other confirmed directions suddenly invalid?

And again, this isn’t just about Destiel. This is just the most relevant example to those within my fandom reach. This is a VERY broad issue.

These viewers have TWO options in the end: Assume queerbait, or pray for endgame and that the studio isn’t manipulating them.

We literally don’t have anything else. Once those authors have confirmed that all of these things were there, once we know that, once we see it in action, we literally don’t have another course of action. Maybe for people that are straight or willingly repressed it’s easier to go “Oh, it’s just... a joke, or fanservice.” But what... a season of fanservice? Two? Four, at this point? It’s all just four seasons of fanservice with authors that have made statements (since season 9, or since S8 about Dean’s romantic potential) knowing what they’re doing and confirming levels of intention along the way, and keep doing it...

That isn’t “fanservice.” Queerbait or endgame. These are the options.

But this conversation gets worse.

It’s “unclear” to an audience, just because it isn’t acted on; perhaps you don’t see the same chemistry we do, and that part is okay. We get it, you’re not gay so you don’t see the Gay as easy. But as long as you take every author statement, every showrunner statement and delete them; as long as you take every scene, now without those statements, and propose other interpretations; it will never be clear to you, and then you will continue to resist it to TPTB. And yes, it’s your right to interpret entertainment as you see fit, but when you go around with “keep fanon in fandom” like this shit isn’t right here, on our screens, with authors or showrunners or actors, right there, in interviews, saying yes, this is exactly what we meant it to be, and yes we intended it this way - at what point are we talking fanon anymore? Oh, the gay stuff is just fanservice regardless of the years of content. You see how people take offense to this, too.

Why? Oh, because... I don’t know, “I won’t believe it until I see a kiss or confirmation.”

AND HEREIN LIES THE TRAP AND PARADOX.

The SECOND this starts taking effect, people begin the complaints.

geez u guys just want to make it about sexKeep fanon in fandomy do u guys make everything gaystory isn’t about kissing (except random girls)it’s like you changed something in them and u shouldnt have to

This may be shocking to some people, but - Destiel as the example - Dean could still be Dean if he was acknowledged more forwardly having feelings for Cas. He could still love cars, women (yes! shocking!), beer, guns and flannel. There isn’t a rainbow quota to fulfill. Some people just don’t want the implication of a gay angel in their Good Old American Guns Beer And Flannel, but that ALONE is an INCREDIBLY harmful narrative to gay or bi men around the world, many of which are JUST LIKE DEAN IN HIS LIFESTYLE AND HOBBIES and TRAPPED in this life of WHO THEY HAVE TO BE. Did you know that in the US, on a large, private census, while more than half of gays and lesbians are “out,” barely over 1/4  of bisexuals are because of the black-and-white pressure of culture? This is reality. And this is what is constantly being sledgehammered down by this kind of narrative. Bi guy dates a chick and doesn’t want to be thought as QUEER or anything, cuz he’s still a man’s man, so he just... marries into chicks and never opens his mouth and here we are. We’re making progress. On more public social surveys (not everyone answers honestly), between 2010 and 2016, answers for Gay/Lesbian and Bisexuals doubled in respondency rate. DOUBLED. And no, people didn’t suddenly turn gay. By 2017 another survey doubled the rate again. We’re here, we’re queer, and we’re sick of being shit on and treated like a joke, so if you could please maybe not.

We just want their (respective fictional handling of) romantic affiliations to be acknowledged and respected on the same level any other even-potential couple’s would be, without having to scrap our asses off to get people to nod once and go “OK cool, the author said it here, but that was fanservice.” “And this time?” “Fanservice.” “And these four times?” “Fanservice.” “And these multiple seasons?” “Fanservice, all fanservice.”

This is the definition of queerbait and whether or not you acknowledge it, you are making an accusation towards TPTB that they are knowingly extorting a demographic, perpetually, instead of perhaps - just MAYBE - taking one chance to go back now that you know what the authors or showrunners said about these moments, knowing how communities feel about these moments, and watching it over again to see, maybe, just MAYBE see with different lenses now that you know an author said “Yes we intended this.” Instead of telling The Gays to stop seeing The Gay in things the author said they made Gay, clearly it was Just A Joke - can you imagine, back with our initial example, if someone said that to you about your author-confirmed straight romantic moments?

Because this also becomes a trap for production studios. If they get stuck in the same bind. Slow build it? Well, now the gays think we’re being queerbaited, and the people who don’t want the gay think it’s all subtext/a joke/fanservice no matter how frequent or blatant or core-plot-moving.  Make a move on it? Well, us gays are happy, and realize it isn’t queerbait, but the people who resisted it act like it was just So Abrupt, Poorly Done, Why Did You? After ignoring YEARS of Us, The Gays, pointing at the times the authors even admitted to it going WE AREN’T CRAZY, THEY LITERALLY SAID IT’S THERE. But now TPTB have to worry and balance the demographics when you could just Support It If They Made The Choice and be happy if people accepted the intention statements without dismissing them.

And this is why this narrative bothers us. The Gays. Or any kind of Not Straights, really. Because no matter what we do, we’re put at the disadvantage. Someone can slow-burn a plot for four years and then someone’s going to be flabbergasted at the HOPE that someone will do something with it after years of acknowledgment from a studio, rather than the ASSUMPTION of us being extorted. Because They Didn’t See It. That’s great, but not only did we see it, often we’re even told it, and that we saw what was actually there, by the people making it. But then it isn’t respected until it’s moved on, then when it’s moved on, it’s our fault for making everything about sex or kissing, and it’s rushed? But our confirmed romantic stuff doesn’t matter unless it’s kissed out or the arbitrary threshold. So gays don’t matter until they’re ruining things by kissing, in this narrative. The feelings don’t matter. The author statements don’t matter. 

This is. A literal. Paradox.

It’s a freaking trap, is what it is.

The industry is getting better about it. A LOT better. But it’s STILL. EVERYWHERE. And while the INDUSTRY may be getting better, We, The Gays, keep running into this narrative wall constantly from people who think they’re being fair and reasonable and open minded and don’t even realize what they’re saying. 

You literally can’t turn around on us and say “You’re just seeing gay when it isn’t there!!” in instances where we have LITERALLY HAD ADMITTED THERE WAS THE-GAY THERE AND THEY MEANT TO PUT THE-GAY THERE. Just because they didn’t kiss doesn’t mean romances aren’t valid, or have you NEVER had feelings for someone you didn’t manage to make a move on? Never? Were your feelings invalid because you never kissed? Were you incapable of feeling pain when this happened to you? Believe it or not, We, The Gays, have these same conflicts and personal struggles with our emotions in the real world too, and real relationships, and real romantic inclinations, even before talking about TV.

All we’re asking for is these things being ADDRESSED. Not even sexed. Just ADDRESSED. This isn’t even us seeing something in lighting, or camera placement, or clothing type and reading between the lines (no offense to the meta authors out there, some of you do great work), this is us literally deadass being told things like

Only to be told we need to keep our crazy fanfiction sh*t out, when... the creators... are RIGHT. THERE. [gestures emphatically at the above] 

And I get it. There’s this thing called Internalized Homophobia and at one point, even I used to roll my eyes and imply the same thing. Y U Gotta Make Everything Gay? But the more aware we become as a society the more we realize we’ve been trained into this. It’s cultural. Hell, some regions don’t have any problem with it at all. Which is awesome over there. But most of us aren’t there, we’re here, stuck in this narrative, and dealing with this internal discrediting.

So we’re going to echo the starter exercise: Imagine a world where you can watch years of romantic burn going on between opposite gender characters. Every trope, every classic arc in the book. The authors go, yup, that’s exactly what we were going for there, thanks for noticing! Now imagine if whenever your male/female pairing get close, people scream it’s fanservice. If they don’t kiss, it doesn’t count, and you’re just in crazy fanfiction land, and if they DO kiss, you’ve just ruined everything because you’ve made it all about a relationship, even if it’s just one moment and the rest goes back to normal.

I need you to imagine this. I want you to watch this duo on TV for years, investing your heart and interest in them like you invest in any and every part of a story you’re dedicated to for years, this male/female pair that even the showrunner said was romantic-toned at some point, hell and highwater, every adventure, and then, when you ask about it, get some bullshit answer like “Oh well why just make them one thing, when they can be everything for everybody?” And then look over and, in this reverse world, see All The Gay Pairings getting to run around being Confirmed Gay and nobody questioning it. And geez, you stick to your guns and say, “But the showrunner literally said it was romantic! And all of these authors said they did these romantic things on purpose.” and then get slammed with “Keep your stupid straight relationships in fanfiction.” or “God can’t you just enjoy the ACTUAL show?” like it hasn’t been RIGHT. THERE. IN. THE SHOW. AS PART OF IT.  And like you hadn’t seen the showrunner tell them to put it RIGHT. THERE.

Oh wow, okay, that seems pretty shitty, doesn’t it?

So let’s talk about the Bechdel and Vito Russo tests.

Okay, we’ve become aware equality is a huge issue in media. And I’m not saying all women need to be G.I. Jane. The Bechdel test is a VERY BASIC TEST for female representation. Here’s the basics

The movie must have two women in it

who talk to each other

about something besides a man.

Sounds simple AF, right? You’d be surprised how many fail, though. But then this got expanded on with options for PoC, and sexuality. The Vito Russo test via GLAAD for LGBT+ made their own.

The Vito Russo Test

Is there an identifiably LGBT character

Is the LGBT character not solely or predominantly DEFINED by their orientation or gender identity, but, 

are they also tied into the plot in such a way that their removal would have significant effect?

Now I want us to take one simple idea while we’re premising about what would be ruined or changed. Riddle me this, in a very very similar but only marginally different universe to challenge: 

if the community accepted Phil and Ben’s audio commentary about Dean’s sexual/romantic flexibility  with all of the attached related content (pages of bi-Dean meta such as the siren interview) being allowed for public consideration and discussion without dismissal (and better TPTB action) without being shoved in the ”fanfiction” bin (Or causing protests from antis), 

and IF we allowed ourselves to take the previous romantic authorial statements as identifiers instead of packing that away like it didn’t exist too

Destiel would ironically already pass this test with flying colors. Authors promote bi Dean potential, authors wrote Destiel elements, and many of these elements DRASTICALLY influenced the current of the story, and their characters are important, WITHOUT being solely and singly attached to walking around proving How Homo they are, and they are who they are, beyond where their romance may be. (The Cain parallels carried two entire seasons 9-10. The S11 profound bond attachment was a plot moving mechanic that arranged the entire finale. Dean’s S13 grief arc ran for five unmissable episodes; and we can say We Don’t See It all day, but when it all comes from the people with those statements up there, just because you don’t, doesn’t mean we’re wrong FOR seeing it, since IT IS LITERALLY SAID TO BE THERE.)

Literally all we need is for them to be identifiably connected LGBT, and for those of us who already take these statements seriously, they ALREADY ARE, because of author statements. However, the perpetual erasure of this, and battle from viewers that resist it to TPTB, or minimalize fans who see it as “less than”, is what would ironically keep this from passing a Vito Russo test, because they keep it reigned in JUST ENOUGH to not cause a blowout. And guess what? That’s where that menacing queerbait issue creeps back up again.

So we swing back around to our paradox. Really 99% of the Destiel community doesn’t want much more than literally them being recognized as the romantic pairing they’ve literally intentionally led us to see, as per all of the above statements from creator capacities (and this is literally just a small pinch of my bag of receipts). We don’t want sex scenes, hell, we don’t even demand a kiss most of the time. We just want to be seen as equals. We just want people to stop treating BLATANT LEAD ONS that compel entire plot arcs of a show like it’s a joke - because being gay isn’t a joke, it isn’t a punch line, and if you’re saying it’s literally all to “pander” to that viewership, if you don’t do anything with it, it isn’t pandering. It’s heartbreaking, and not just “because Destiel” or “because ship,” but because this is a cultural issue we deal with all over, in and out of media, even in the real world, with similar assumptions about us, or our behaviors, or our relationships from people on the street, or even family. So we go to watch media, and what, get pulled over coals, and berated for seeing what they literally told us was there, but If It Happens We Ruin It.

I want you to imagine a world where every straight pairing (or even potential-pairing) on TV that had this kind of investment had that kind of reaction. Hell, if a straight guy and a straight girl on TV run blatant romantic tension and plot arcs that jive up entire seasons of storyline, but they never go to bed together - does anyone ever say people were crazy-weird-fandom for seeing it, even WITHOUT an author saying “Yeah we meant that”? Fucking no, they don’t. And that’s where the problem kicks in.

So the next time you see Destiel people (or any ship for any story with strong authorial intent statements and major contingent plot arcs; this does not necessarily stand for weird crossfandom crackships or whatever) who are “annoying” because they “want/think their ship will be canon,” You might want to change your point of view. Because generally, those people who think it might be endgame, they’re giving TPTB the benefit of the doubt while you unwittingly accuse them.

 They’re going “Maybe they’re not just leading me on, maybe all of these plot things are going somewhere, maybe my sexuality isn’t a joke to them, maybe I’m not just a number they’re manipulating, maybe we matter to them” and that, my friends, is a hell of a lot bigger, and more important, than “just about a ship.” This isn’t me grabbing two characters that have barely met that would be sexy together and going “oh man this would be awesome!” and drawing sexy fanart. This is wanting my emotional investment to go somewhere after they acknowledge pulling on it on purpose. And I think you’d want the same.

And holding out that belief, especially with Wayward on the horizon as an LGBT+ prone spinoff with confirmed intent (Claire/Kaia) for a heavily queer generation, is a HELL of a lot more respectful to this show than just assuming it’s queerbait. This is those people that “annoy” you giving it the benefit of the doubt.

Because generally, people who dismiss these comments, time and again, as jokes/pandering, don’t realize that they’re actually accusing TPTB of something pretty fucking heinous. And I choose not to believe they’re being heinous. And you shouldn’t consider me less of a fan for not assuming they’re being heinous. To you, it looks like pandering. But the community has been pretty obvious about what they want. And queerbait isn’t it. Never has been. 

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: If this isn’t the direction they intend to go, before launching the LGBT-target-demo spinoff, they should be dialing it down instead of ramping it up. Changes in administration etc, changes in vision, it happens. Does that sound like someone who Just Wants To Make It Gay, or someone that has reasonable expectations and a few feet on the ground in reality and what impact this can have on the franchise? But no, they’re once again cranking up the plot level volume of it. So yeah. Yeah, I’m hoping it’s Endgame. Yeah, considering the previous intent statements and All The Story, yeah... I think it makes sense. No, I don’t think it’s fanservice. It’s where the narrative should freaking lead at this point.

So the next time you consider dismissing a statement made by a showrunner, the next time you roll your eyes at someone who thinks their “ship” has a shot at endgame, maybe look back and wonder what installs that instinct in you - what you’re actually saying between the subconscious lines - what the implications even are in this trained thought process that at times even hits Us, The Gays, and is part of the struggle we had in our generation even living as ourselves without being embarrassed of ourselves. 

Maybe take it as less than audacious, and more by way of being generous and wanting to have faith in it.

Will it be canon? Will it be queerbait? We don’t know until the fat lady sings. But hell, if it goes canon, maybe consider why, and maybe consider all those statements We, The Gays pointed you to before, for years, might have had merit too. Maybe it always meant to go somewhere. Maybe TPTB weren’t manipulating us.

The ironic thing is, in the end, I won’t be heartbroken necessarily by Destiel not going canon. It’s less about Destiel specifically. It’s less about Dean and Cas, as much as I love them, and their romance, specifically. It’s less about this fiction show specifically. It’s more about this cultural pandemic. What angers and frustrates me more than anything is seeing SO MANY PEOPLE that think they’re open minded spilling out these paradox points and unwitting accusations, and damaging statements that minimize entire HUGE groups of people.

You ever wondered why? That’s why.

Queerbait or Endgame.

I refuse to assume TPTB are being malign. Regardless of what anyone wants to unwittingly accuse them of.

So yeah. I’m going to hold out for Destiel to be Endgame. And that they aren’t manipulating an entire demographic, and that they aren’t about to blow their own foot off for the spinoff series.

You don’t have to have faith, you don’t even have to ship it, but if you could please stop degrading these things, and us, to our faces (OR behind our backs, BOTH are shitty); or treating us like stains on the fandom for... I don’t know, considering ourselves human, our relationships equal, and statements about us or our relations not a joke; that would be great. Cuz my other option is calling queerbait. And if that’s what it is, I’d hope, deep down, that bothers you, too.

And if I reached even just... one, or two people with this megalithic exposition and made them change their opinion of people who think like this, then my work is done.