#in another live id be happy doing laundry and taxes with you

[lumaxmayclair]

With science, it's all what and how. But with fiction, it's why.

Might just be one of the best lines I've heard in a while. Fiction is just as important as science y'all!!!

[hontou-baka]

relationship ranting idk

blurgh i hate when im slapped with similarities between my ex and my current bf

I got married without a wedding, or rings, or anything traditional, to my ex so I could use my own tax info for school (plus it seemed like a safe risk in a seven year long relationship lmao). The semantics of it were clearly unimportant to my ex (i had to buy us both rings, and again, no wedding) and i felt embarrassed bc those things are important to me, so we never told anyone about getting married really.

Now that I'm close to getting the divorce done before baby comes, my bf is talking marriage. But in the same "just for the legal benefits" way. And i do want to get married... And i know it would help his taxes and whatnot... But my heart breaks thinking about doing the exact same dumb thing again, and idk i can make myself do it. Like... Sorry, prove im important enough to you to spend a couple hundred on a cute ring, get some photos of us taken together, hell even if he saved money for a nice elopement trip thats fine! I feel like aggretsuko with the donkey guy... Tadase? Idk i dont remember. Im sorry im kind of basic but as a cisgendered white woman that was raised mormon, ive dreamed about a beautiful wedding and feeling loved and celebrated since childhood... I think i should stand my ground on this :/

Another thing. Both have sleep issues and expect me to get up with them in the morning to help them get ready so they can sleep in as much as possible. And im made to feel bad about it if i complain because i dont have sleep issues. Im sorry you havent bothered your whole adult life to find a way to manage with your sleep problems, and im happy to make you food while you shower here and there, but that should not just be expected of me! And its not reciprocated! Its not like i make him get up with me, i would just leave him be and let him sleep because... I love him? Want him to be comfy? Ugh.

While im venting, ADHD IS NOT AN EXCUSE TO NOT DO CHORES REGULARLY!!!!! I DONT CARE!!!!! IF HIM AND I DONT WORK OUT IM GONNA HAVE ADHD BE A RED FLAG I SWEAR TO GOD BC EVERYONE I KNOW W IT REFUSES TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO LIVE WITH IT!!!! Im getting beyond furious that he has to be asked FOR EVERY. LITTLE. THING. You eat and use dishes. You put your dishes with the other dirty dishes. Thus. YOU ARE LOOKING AT THE PILE OF DIRTY DISHES... MULTIPLE TIMES A DAY. YOU CANNOT USE THE "OUT OF SIGHT OUT OF MIND" EXCUSE IN OUR TINY ROOM!!!! YOU CAN *SEE* THE FULL LAUNDRY BASKET THREE FEET AWAY FROM YOU!!!! YOU CAN SEE THE GOD DAMN CHORE CHART TWO FEET AWAY FROM YOU I MADE SO YOU COULDNT USE THE "BUT IDK WHAT TO DOOO OR HOW TO HEEELP" EXCUSE!!!!! YOU CAN SMELL WHEN THE CAT TAKES A HUMAN SIZED SHIT AND KNOW YOU NEED TO SCOOP TOMORROW!!!!!! YOU!!!! JUST!!!!! DONT!!!!!!! *WANT TO*!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And the funniest fucking thing is i TRULY wouldnt mind having a more "traditional" setup, id be fine doing 90% of the chores if he even worked 20 hours/wk consistently. But im thinking as soon as i feel recovered from birth i want to find a job myself because he just lets his anxiety win too much and cant hold a job, and i have actual goals in life lmao 🤪🤪🤪 but if i made him a stay at home parent im sure id be coming home to a world of frustration (things that need done never being done). Im just at the end of my rope bc with chronic mental and physical health issues, i get he cant do what most people can (same goes for me, not as severe on the physical side tho) but god it so often feels like weaponized incompetence. And i think it partially is. Ive talked to him about this over and over and it always ends with "just tell me or ask... Even though you shouldn't have to..." BUT THATS THE POINT!!!! IM NOT GONNA BEG YOU TO HELP ME KEEP OUR LIVING QUARTERS NOT MISERABLE, MAN!!!!! USE YOUR EYES AND YOUR HEAD!!!!

I joked about banning war thunder for a week post birth and he seemed shocked id even think about asking him to not game for a week (his only hobby/leisure activity). Idk.

ok that feels better i guess ill get back to my mashed potatoes

[methcheese]

i love when my mom watches movies and absorbs nothing. we watched everything everywhere all at once fir the first time and when it was done she was saying “aha that was so funny and weird!” BRO?? yeah nit wrong but there’s so mulched you missed like literally the mother-daughter shit and the generational trauma and how her mom fucked her up. and you’d think it would be significant bc not only do i already have a strained relationship with her but shes got a shit relationship with her own mother?? and the divorce thing, shes literally in the middle of a divorce with a husband that did everything for her and put up with all of her bullshit and she can’t take anything away from that?? im taking this too personally but where is the media literacy? how is she watching this and not realizing it applies to her??

also on generational trauma it certainly does not apply to us v much bc we’re white but i think unlike most white families we had the experience of having our family all in one place which definitely contributed to the fucked up relationships. i may be wrong but generally its nit white folks that have several generations living together and i think cultures that do generally have (or at least show) more respect for one another that my mom/grandma would ever have.

very good movie tho, “in another life, id be happy just doing laundry and taxes with you” tucking WRECKED me like when am i gonna get that man?? like just the idea that you don’t need much and it doesnt matter what you’re doing as long as you do it with someone you care about?? holy shit. and “id chose you out of any universe” fucking hits bc once again, my mom would never do that like imagine someone actually choosing you over themselves?? there’s so much to unpack here but 10/10 very good movie

[deadmomjokes]

Hi there! I hope I'm not bothering you, but I wanted to know how to work at an animal shelter? What are the requirements? What does it entail? What is it like? What sort of jobs are there? Hope you have a nice day!

Not bothering at all!

It’s going to be different at every shelter, and it also depends on how the shelter is run. Some are run as a charity (501 c3), some are contracted NGOs (nongovernmental organizations), and some partner with city/county animal control to replace the ‘pound’ system that puts down unclaimed dogs. I work at the last kind, which I think is super great! It helps with the funding issue shelters often have, by having the county take care of things like the electric and water bills, some of the supplies, vet costs, etc. It doesn’t solve all of that, and we still love and rely on donations, but it helps us take in more animals. Plus, it keeps animals from getting put down just because nobody came to claim them. Instead, they go up for adoption! :)

I can’t speak on every point for all shelters, but I can speak for the one I work at, and so that’s how I’ll base my answers. There are a few constants in all shelters, and I’ll go over those too. This is gonna be a long post, so sorry to ramble on at ya, but I love my job and love talking about it!

Experience Necessary/ Requirements

For my interview, we went over my experience working with animals. For me, I’d volunteered with a shelter in the past, so it helped my credibility. I’ve also trained animals, and owned animals all my life. I have some minor experience in animal grooming and wound care, so that helps too. But the only official requirements for the position were: Willing to/able to clean lots of stuff (I’ve worked custodial in the past, so that helped), willing/able to lift up to 40lbs (tho I use this rarely), not afraid of animals (mainly cats and dogs, but also reptiles, birds, etc), some experience with pet animals, clean criminal check, and no allergies to pet animals.

In most shelters, those are going to be the main requirements. Some shelters may not have the criminal record thing, but due to our shelter working with the police system indirectly, and dealing with peoples’ information (to get your dog out, you have to show id), we have to have that requirement. But the necessities in a shelter environment are moderate physical strength, not fearing pet animals, not being allergic (you’d pretty much die if you are allergic), and being willing to get dirty. People with physical or mobility issues may be able to work the front desk, or work to help people coming through, but most shelter positions are very physical, as you may have to deal with dangerous animals.

Shelter positions/duties

Most of my position involves cleaning, and most shelter positions are going to be essentially cleaning jobs with animal interactions and other duties sprinkled in. Animals take a lot of cleaning when they’re kept in high numbers, and especially when kept indoors! Our cat kennels are made of stainless steel, and we have a vet-grade cleaner we use to eliminate the ammonia from the urine, and kill germs so they don’t get sick. They get their kennels cleaned every single day, and they get newspaper put in the bottom, a litter box, a blanket, a food dish, and a water dish. These also get cleaned or replaced daily.

Dogs stay in kennels with heated floors (so they don’t need a blanket; many dogs will shred blankets and/or eat them, so we just forgo the need except in cases of very small or old dogs). They are basically divided fences, giving the dog enough space to move and gently play. Our kennels have drains that  run down the middle of the kennel and have covers so you can hose the poops right down the drain instead of having to go at it with a poop scooper. Some shelters use the poop scoop method, but the hose method is a lot quicker, safer, and more sanitary. There are sliding dividers in the kennels so you can put the dog on one side and hose down the empty area, then switch sides and do it again, this way the dog doesn’t chase the hose or get soaked. Dog kennels get cleaned with a disinfectant and detergent to make sure germs don’t grow or spread.

Then there’s dishes. We have to wash all food, water, and litter dishes, and it piles up fast. Then you have laundry--cat beds and cleaning rags, mostly, but also some towels or the occasional doggy bed. Sweeping, mopping, dusting, and disinfecting various surfaces are also involved. Lots and lots and lots of cleaning.

It’s not just cleaning, tho. Me and my coworkers who are also animal care attendants (that’s our official position title) feed and water all the animals when we clean the areas, and we watch for any signs of sickness. In cats, you’re looking for sneezing, coughing, nasal or eye discharge, vomiting, or drooling. In dogs it’s sneezing, coughing, runny/bloody stool, or repeated vomiting. We also give vaccines to all incoming animals (kennel cough for dogs, and a combo for cats), and our shelter is authorized for doing rabies vaccines at redemption or adoption. This is only done at a few shelters, as rabies vaccination is highly legally controlled, so it probably won’t be at many shelters. We also do pre-adoption checks on all animals getting adoption, where we check health markers to make sure they’re not visibly sick. We intake animals (do their basic paperwork, which varies by shelter, set up their kennel, feed them, take their picture, scan them for microchip, sex check them, etc). We also walk through the people looking for a lost pet. That last one will be unique to shelters like mine that replace the pound system.

There are other positions at our shelter. We have the front desk staff, who do all the paperwork, licensing, adoptions, and so on. They help with some cleaning and animal care, but that’s mostly on the animal care staff. The front desk staff deal with people mostly. They also do temperament testing on the animals to make sure they’re safe for adoption

Every shelter has their own positions and duties, but most shelters will need cleaning/feeding staff and desk staff, and that’s where most of the jobs are. Some, however, need communications/PR people, advertising people, community liasons, etc. (Our shelter combines those duties with the front desk people. We just don’t have the funding to separate the duties.) Every shelter is unique, so check descriptions carefully, and if you get an interview, ask questions!!!

What it’s like

There are great things about working in a shelter, and not so great things. The not so great things are probably obvious--lots of animals who are lost and sad and waiting for a forever home. (***VERY SAD ANIMAL THINGS CW, IF YOU DON’T WANNA READ ABOUT SAD ANIMAL THINGS SKIP TO THE NEXT “***”) It can drain you emotionally, especially when the same animals keep getting passed up for adoption and just stay there for ages. Sometimes animals don’t make it. As hard as we try to keep them all healthy, some animals get really sick while at the shelter--stress wrecks the immune system, not just in humans. Cats in particular are really vulnerable (which is why cat-cuddling volunteers are so vital!) They also refuse to eat or drink when very sick. So sometimes animals pass, and sometimes it takes a while and they start to suffer. It’s really hard to see that especially when you can’t do anything about it. Sometimes animals come in and they’re injured, and the vet can only do so much, or your funding for the month has run out and you can’t take him to the vet so you just do what you can. Sometimes people surrender their pets to you for many reasons, and it hurts to see them do it. Sometimes (for our shelter), animal control officers bring you animals that were killed, and you have to store the body for an owner to identify. Taking them back to id the body is the hardest part. Another really, really hard one is when (at our shelter) dangerous or suffering animals have to be euthanized. Not all shelters do that. Some are in areas where ‘rehab’ rescues come collect the dangerous ones and work to get them people-safe. Some just keep the animals forever, which is neither safe nor good for the animal. Our shelter is in an area without a rehab, so the dangerous ones have to be humanely euthanized. But the fact that it’s humane doesn’t make it any easier. I don’t do it, tho, so that’s good. It takes a lot of authorization, so none of us animal care staff are allowed to, and I’m glad for that. But it’s still really hard knowing.

(***SAD THINGS OVER***)

There are also great things. Seeing people find their pets is amazing! Seeing animals get adopted is the best! You also sometimes have time to cuddle kitties and walk a dog or two. And as you clean, you get to kind of play with the animals, sort of. But it’s amazing just knowing that you’re helping animals that would otherwise be living or getting hurt out on the street. It’s wonderful when you get to see an animal’s journey from coming in as a dirty, injured stray to a happy, clean, healthy animal going to a new forever home.

Note that I made that ‘not so great’ section longer than the great section. That doesn’t mean it’s more sad than not. I just want people considering shelter work to be prepared for the hard things that are involved, because they are very taxing, especially if you don’t know what you’re in for at first. You have to be prepared for awful things, or sad things will knock you down really hard.

Some other considerations: you’ll be dealing with scared, sometimes aggressive animals, so you have to be able to keep your cool. You have to follow your shelter protocols, or you or the animals might get hurt. You can’t skimp on regulations, or you risk injury or an outbreak of major disease among the animals. Shelters are a delicate balance, and one missed hand-washing could cause a whole row of cats to come down with feline distemper. You have to be willing to be meticulous.

How to land a shelter job

The first thing is knowing what shelters are in your area. Look them up, and get their contact information. Find out if they take volunteers. If they do, do it!! Volunteering with a shelter is an amazing way to get to know if it’s a good fit for you, and also to get an in with the shelter. It also looks great on a resume for if you move but still want to get into shelter business.

Don’t be afraid to ask where they would post if they ever have job openings. That’s your best way to find out if they’re hiring, or when they will be hiring. You can ask those questions! I stumbled upon my job by checking city/county job boards. Just keep an eye out.

I’m sorry that was such a long answer, it’s just something I’m super passionate about! If you have more or follow-up questions, let me know, and I’ll try to be more brief next time. :)