#in practice i can count on one hands the emt of times our house was mopped

[nomaishuttle]

this is not just me complaining bc its one of my chores but i truly donot think the kitchen needs 2 be mopped twice aweek

[stxrrywildflower]

mute

pairing - spencer reid x reader

summary - an injury causes you to go mute for awhile, spencer is there to help you

warnings - injuries, gruesome details, mentions of case

word count - ?

you could barely stand up. the unsubs rough hand clutching the back on your neck was the only thing keeping you on your feet.

while your physical injuries at the moment we’re super bad, you still had immense bruising all over your body. through your blurry vision, you managed to look at at year team, who all had their guns pointed at the unsub. this case was never supposed to be like this.

the team was called out to indianapolis for a series of murders of young women around the city. while investigating one of the victims house, you had been knocked unconscious and kidnapped before the team could even realize what had happened.

it was only a day or so you were gone but in that time, the unsub was barely around you. all you could do was sit in the chair you were tied to. however you had been hurt just enough so you weren’t strong enough to escape. when the unsub was cornered, he had held you by your neck with a knife pointed towards the team.

“you don’t have to do this man!” you heard morgan shout.

suddenly, the blade of the very sharp knife was placed against your neck. a stream blood began to flow from your neck to your chest, soaking your shirt a crimson color.

“it’s too late,” the unsub called back.

everything happened incredibly quickly. in one swift movement, the unsub slashed your throat, creating a deep cut. you knew you were due to bleed out in meer moments. as your body fell to the ground, three gunshots sounded. between the ringing in your ears and your slit throat, you were in immense pain.

muffled yelling was the only thing you could hear. the fuzzy figures of your team appeared over you. some form of a clothe was pressed tightly against your neck, helping the blood flow lessen but allowing you to breath at the same time.

your whole body jerked slightly. all you wanted to do was say something but you couldn’t. it only took a minute for the pain to become too much and your eyes fluttered shut.

paramedics rushed into the building just after you passed out. the team stepped back, watching the emt’s move your body onto a stretch while applying pressure to your wound.

spencer stood a small distance away from everything. his hands were shaking in front of him as blood coated up to his wrists. blood was under his fingernails too. it was your blood. morgan moved towards the genius as your body was loaded into the ambulance.

“come on kid, let’s get you cleaned up,” morgan spoke, wrapped his arm around spencer’s shoulder and leading him out.

the blood was soon scrubbed off of spencer’s skin, leaving a pool of red in the sink at the hospital. spencer, morgan, j.j., and hotch had all headed to the hospital while emily and rossi went to the police station. they needed to get some paperwork before they could visit. hotch was initially going to go with rossi but upon his rememberance that he was your emergency contact, just like with the rest of the team, he went with the others. you and spencer had discussed putting each other down but with the luck you both had, you went with hotch instead.

close to two hours later, a nurse appeared in the waiting room. suprisingly, there was no one else in the waiting room due to the size of the hospital and the time. so, the team was hopeful that it was news on you.

“family of agent y/n y/l/n,” the nurse called.

in an instant, the four team members were on their feet. “i’m her superior and emergency contact. this is her team, we’re practically family,” hotch spoke. the nurse raised a slight eyebrow at that but nonetheless, opened her file.

“first of all, y/n will be okay,” the nurse started resulting in a sigh of relief from the team, “to start, y/n has sustained serious bruising to various parts of her body. her ribs aren’t broken but they are bruised as well as swelling on her arms and legs. the obvious injury is her neck. her throat was slit very deeply. a lot of blood was lost during surgery but luckily the surgeons managed to repair the damage. however, the cut did reach her vocal chords, severely damaging them. the side effect is that y/n is now mute. it will take anywhere from eight or more months for them to fully heal and for her to be able to speak again.”

the tension in the room thickened. obviously, they were thankful that you were going to be okay but at the same time, you couldn’t speak. “are we able to see her?” spencer spoke up. the nurse pressed her lips together and shook her head. “i’m sorry but visiting hours are over and y/n is not expected to wake up for a little bit. you can all come back in the morning,” the nurse offered.

with that, hotch thanked the nurse and turned back to his team. “alright, i want everyone to head back to the hotel and get some sleep. i know we are all worried bout y/n but there’s nothing we can do. it’s been a long couple of days and we all need to rest,” hotch instructed.

j.j. and morgan both led spencer out of the hospital, followed by hotch. like their boss had said, there was nothing they could do.

____

your eyes shot open, darting around to take in your surroundings. sunlight was streaming into your hotel room, meaning it was most likely some time in the morning or afternoon. suddenly, you began choking, directly due to the tube down your throat.

two nurses rushed into your room. one gently took the tube out of your mouth while the other began to check your vitals. memories of your injury came rushing back to you. you opened your mouth to say something but a nurse quickly cut you off.

“don’t speak, a doctor will be in to talk to you about your injuries in a moment. for now, use this notepad to write down anything,” she spoke, handing you paper and a pen.

“what time is it?” you first wrote down. “it’s 8 in the morning. you’ve been out for two days,” the nurse responded. “my team?” you scribbled. “ah, they’ve been here both days. visitors aren’t allowed for another hour but i would place bets that they’ll be here.”

you leaned back into your hospital beds as the nurses exited. a few minutes later, a doctor entered your room holding a chart. she smiled softly at you before taking a seat. you looked at her with desperate eyes, wanting to know your injuries.

“agent y/n, are you okay with diving right in,” the doctor asked you. upon seeing your nod, she continued, “your ribs are bruised but other than that, your shoulders down is fine. you neck, however, is our primary concern. your vocal chords were injured from the cut. thankfully, in a few months, you should be able to speak properly again. until then, you will be unable to speak.”

you pressed your lips together and stared at the ceiling. “i have already talked to your team about learning sign language. i’m pretty sure the tall skinny one is already fluent. he’s been reading and practicing the entire time,” the doctor added. you smiled when she mentioned spencer.

“thank you,” you wrote down. the doctor nodded and exited your room.

an hour later, you heard commotion in the hallway outside your room. you could have sworn it sounded like emily and hotch arguing with a nurse. but you weren’t entirely sure. you then remembered the doctors words about visiting hours.

suddenly, one of the nurses popped in your room. “agent y/n, your team is here, shall i send them in?” he asked. you nodded, pretty much all you could do.

it only took a moment for your team to appear at your doorway. spencer was the first one in, making your way to your bedside and pulling you in a tight hug. from there, everyone else entered your room, taking seats around your bed. the attention was a little awkaward but you were still happy that they were here.

you tore off the piece of paper you had previously written on and handed it to j.j. to throw out. “how are you feeling?” rossi asked. it took you a moment to write down your answer. “fine, whatever they’re giving me is helping me with the pain. not being able to talk really sucks.”

upon seeing your answer, you were met with sympathetic looks. “well pretty boy here has managed to become fluent in sign language almost overnight. once you learn, he’ll be a great communicator,” morgan smiled.

“actually, i knew a bit of sign language before i just hadn’t practiced in awhile. just needed a bit of a refresher,” spencer responded, squeezing your hand softly.

“i’m sure he’ll be a great teacher,” you wrote.

____

the return to work was extremely difficult. it had been two weeks after you were released from the hospital. your injury was classified different than when hotch was stabbed, explaining the time difference.

you were mostly assigned to do anything other than field work. when you realized something about the case, it had become increasingly difficult to write down what you needed to say and get your point across effectively. however, you were back in the field a little bit over a week after you returned.

however, spencer had took the time to teach you sign language. it was a rocky start, but after two months, you were able to communicate effectively.

on cases, you now stuck by spencer’s side all the time. your hands moved incredibly quickly which spencer did his best to translate your movements. it was a lot better than writing but there were still roadblocks. if spencer wasn’t with you, communicating with the team was challenging.

five months after your injury, the team had suprised you. behind your back, they had all taken sign language classes, working towards learning enough that they would be able to understand what you were signing. you had initially found out when you had a break in one of the cases.

“the unsubs work around childcare, most likely a babysitter, only way they are close enough to the kids. plus, parents pay in cash which leaves no trail,” you signed.

“that’s a good point y/n, i’ll get garcia on it right away,” hotch had spoke.

your eyes widened. “you can understand me?” your hands moved so fast that you weren’t sure if they could fully process your movements. this time, emily nodded. “we’ve all been taking sign language classes. you can fully communicate with us now. no more sticking with reid only.” you frowned slightly at that.

“hey now, we know you love your boyfriend and all but i think the rest of us are pretty good too,” j.j. teased making you grin.

____

ten months later, after a suprise visit to the doctors, you attempted to talk for the first time.

it was a late night at spencer’s apartment. the two of you had just gotten into bed, exhausted after a long case. spencer turned so he was facing you, a smile on his face that you could only see in the lowlight.

“i love you,” you managed to choke out. your voice was scratchy and skipped certain letters due to the many months you had gone without speaking but it didn’t matter. the fact that you were speaking was a major accomplishment.

tears formed in your eyes as spencer broke out into a grin. despite you both lying down, he pulled you into a tight hug, kissing your temple.

“i’m so proud of you,” he whispered back. “i love you too,” spencer added, still smiling widely.

[momentofmemory]

FICTOBER 2020 - day twenty-four

Prompt #22: “And neither should you.”

Fandom: Teen Wolf

Characters: Scott McCall, Malia Tate, Melissa McCall, misc.

Words: 2326

Author’s Note: There are seven people in the McCall house when it gets shot up by Monroe’s men. Only two of them can heal. Aftermath of 6x16; Scott POV.

>> six and one

Scott knows, objectively, that the make up of his pack is a little unusual for a werewolf.

Three wolves, a werecoyote, a chimera, a kitsune. Maybe a kanima, or at least part of one. A banshee. No less than four humans if he’s being selective, but in practice, probably a lot more than that.

It’s never felt like a liability until now.

There’s glass all over the floor, floating like icebergs through the garishly red stains that seem to double in size with every passing second. Newly splintered wood creaks; a faint dial tone as the neighbors next door scramble to call the cops. The sound of guns being loaded back into their cases.

Scott knows what a bullet feels like.

The difference between a hit to the arm (muscle, tendon, bone) or a hit to center mass (bleeding, organs, spine). An iron fist at the entry and if he’s lucky, the exit, too. Confusion—it doesn’t feel like anything at first. Then burning, burning, burning.

Lead isn’t cold when it’s swimming through veins. It’s molten.

So when dozens and dozens of bullets had flown into the room, he’d thought he’d been prepared. It wouldn’t be the first time he’d been shot in front of his mom.

But he’s never—

He’s never seen his mom—

Malia stirs next to him and he senses the exact second her anger slips into fear.

“Oh, god—”

She’s launching herself across the room and it snaps him out of his stupor, swallowing down the part of his brain that’s screaming to divert the energy into something useful, because—there were seven people in his house.

Seven.

And because he’d chosen to let in non-shifters, only two of them had healing powers.

They’re all awake, which is comforting because it means they’re alive, and horrifying because they’re all so, so scared.

Triage.

Malia goes for Mason and Lydia—their heartbeats sound strong, if fast—and his dad’s got two wounds, one to the thigh and the other in the meat of his shoulder, but they’re not immediately life threatening.

His mom, however—

It’s a chest wound. It’s a chest wound, and it’s—it’s close, it’s really close—

He drops to his knees in front of her.

“Mom, hey, I’m here.” He takes her hand, which had been grasping at air, into his. “EMS is coming, okay? I gotta apply pressure—”

“Wait,” she gasps, and Chris is shifting beneath her to give her more support—Scott doesn’t think he got much more than a graze—“chest wound. Sucking—”

Chris’s eyes widen, but Scott’s already yanking out his wallet and grabbing his mom’s credit card. “I got it, can you breathe out for me?”

She nods—a frantic, barely lucid thing—and exhales as Scott presses the card over the hole in her chest, cutting off the air flow.

The scent of copper is so thick it feels like it’s in his mouth, and he wants nothing more than to tug her gently away from Chris until she’s resting in his lap, but he knows he can’t move her.

It’s a chest wound. It’s a bullet to the chest—and a bullet isn’t a sword, but—

Scott applies as much pressure as he dares with one hand, and starts pulling as much pain as he dares with the other.

It burns.

It burns like fire, like electricity running through his veins and he would know, but he almost cries with relief because if it still hurts then maybe there’s a chance.

He lets go, gasping, when there’s just a little left—enough to take off the edge, but not so much her body forgets it’s trying to heal. She doesn’t say anything—all the pain relief in the world can’t prevent blood-related shock.

His dad groans behind him and Scott’s reminded with painful clarity, seven people.

"Argent,” he says, through gritted teeth. “Chris. I need you to switch with me. Can you—”

“I got it, Scott. Go.”

He’s pale, but his hands don’t tremble when they overlap with Scott’s. Black lines shoot up Scott’s arm almost the second they come in contact.

Chris inhales sharply. “Scott—”

“Keep the pressure on.”

There’s not as much to pull from Chris as there was from his mom, but he takes all of it this time—unworried about interfering with the healing process, since his injury is more stable. Scott pulls away after only a few more seconds, biting back a hiss as the aftereffects burn through his system.

He turns to see Malia pulling pain from Mason, even though she’s got a through-and-through in her calf muscle that’s only half healed.

He doesn’t deserve any of them.

(Seven.)

(Two with healing powers.)

(Only one that didn’t—)

He gets his feet under him and skirts around the pooling blood, patting Lydia on the shoulder as he passes—if he steals a quick line or two from her, who’s counting. He kneels in front of his dad.

“Scott—”

He doesn’t even wait for him to finish his sentence; just wraps his hands around the dish towel on his leg (Malia’s assistance again, probably) and increases the pressure while siphoning away the pain.

His dad’s eyes widen in shock—probably both kinds; there’s a lot of blood. “Scott, what’re you—”

Scott’s head swivels to look at the door; Malia joining his reaction a half second later.

“Sirens,” he says, alerting the rest of them. “EMS should be here any second.”

Mason shudders, one hand wrapped around the gunshot wound that nicked his bicep. “We sure they’re not with the ones shooting at us?”

“Yeah,” Scott says. “Sheriff’s with them. And I recognize a couple of the EMTs’ voices.”

“Okay, then you need to go.”

“What?”

Scott turns to look at Chris so quickly he nearly jerks his hand off his dad’s leg.

“You and Malia,” Chris clarifies. “You can’t—they’ll want to do a medical examination. You can’t explain that right now.”

Scott glances at Malia—her calf is nearly scabbed over by now. “Malia can take the jeep.”

“Scott, you can’t—”

“I didn’t get hit.”

Chris looks at him—they’re all looking at him—with an extra level of scrutiny that makes him painfully aware of how intact his clothing is. The lack of evidence itself proof of his failure to protect them.

“Scott.”

It’s low, thready; but he’d hear his mom’s voice no matter how loud it was. Mason moves to take over applying pressure for Scott’s dad—even though Malia already took his pain, Scott siphons just a tiny bit more as they trade off—and Scott hurries back to his mom.

The sirens are loud enough for the humans to hear now, too.

“Scott,” she says, and at the crackling sound in her breathing Scott’s guilt vanishes under a wave of overwhelming fear.

“Chris, take the card out. Do it now—”

Lydia pulls herself to her feet, Malia supporting her. “What’s happening? What’s wrong?”

His mom’s lips are turning blue and he can see her breaths getting more shallow. “Get her on her side.”

Chris frowns, having only just reapplied pressure after removing the card. “But the bullet—”

“Doesn’t matter if she bleeds out if she dies from asphyxiation first,” Scott snaps.

The sirens are right outside. He can hear the EMTs approaching the door.

“Malia, go—”

He curls around his mom, her head now in his lap. Even with the tension slightly relieved, she’s still struggling to breathe. “Come on, mom. Just a little longer.”

Lydia’s at the door, frantically calling the EMTs in. Mason’s still with his dad.

Scott wraps his shaking fingers around his mom’s shoulder and pulls, forcing the connection to hold even as his body tries to reject a sixth dosage.

The EMTs burst into the room.

His mom stops breathing.

________________________

He traces her heartbeat like it’s his own.

Every blip. Every palpitation. Every stutter.

The slice of the knife through skin.

He doesn’t know how long the surgery takes—enough, in that it’s still going when Malia joins him in the waiting area, the blood from earlier scrubbed clean.

He feels her hand wrap around his, but he doesn’t acknowledge it—can’t bear pulling his attention away from the operating room for even a second, until—

“Hemodynamics are stable… she’s going to be okay.”

Scott feels like his own chest might collapse under the wave of relief that washes over him. He unclasps his hands and brings Malia’s between them, threading her presence into his.

He looks at her and just nods, the air in his lungs too heavy to form words. Then he drops his head into his lap, and breathes in rhythm with his mother.

It reminds him of what she used to do for him when his asthma first starting acting up—back when it was him in the hospital, not her.

It shouldn’t have ever been her.

“It’s my fault,” he says, softly enough to not by heard by anyone but the werecoyote next to him. “I shouldn’t have let any of them—”

“We all made our choices, Scott, and none of them involved getting shot. You don’t choose getting shot. You choose to be the one taking the shot, and that was all Monroe.”

“They don’t heal, Malia,” Scott says. “Not like us. I should have—I was right there, and I didn’t save any of them.”

Malia’s hand tightens around his. “Neither did I.”

“You got shot.”

“So getting shot was the prerequisite to success tonight?”

Scott flinches and looks at the floor.

“Hey.” Malia waits until he catches her eye to continue. “Look, Chris was right next to Melissa, and he didn’t save her from getting shot, either. Do you think he blames himself for that?”

Scott pauses from where he’d been worrying his nails across his knuckles, and gives her a pointed look.

“Okay, he probably does because you’re both weird like that, but he wasn’t the one firing bullets into a house,” Malia says. “He shouldn’t blame himself for it, and neither should you. The doctor said she’s in the clear now, right?”

“Malia…” He doesn’t know how to make her understand. “It’s not just—it could have killed her. She’s going to have months of therapy before she’s okay, and she won’t be able to be at the house by herself or go to work, and the hospital bills are going to be awful—”

“Chris can stay with your mom,” Malia says, “or Mrs. Martin, or something. Maybe the Sheriff can pitch in and we’ll do a rotation. And as for money, I can always bully Peter into paying for your mom’s bills since everything to do with the supernatural in your life is automatically his fault.”

Scott tries to yank his hands away, but Malia doesn’t let him. “That’s not—that’s not how it works.”

“Then stop blaming yourself for Monroe.”

He can still hear the echo of his mom’s pulse, thready and vulnerable, in the edges of his memory.

It’d been close. Really, really close.

He slides one hand out of Malia’s grip, successfully this time, and wipes at his eyes.

“Scott…” Malia sighs. “You can feel sad about it being your mom instead of you. Logically, it would’ve been better, yes. But that doesn’t make it your fault.”

Scott scrubs at his eyes. “It feels like it kinda is.”

Malia tugs at his arm until his fingers find hers again. ”There’s a difference between feeling bad something happened and feeling genuinely guilty over it.”

“Seven people, Malia,” Scott confesses. “Seven. And I’m—I’m the only one that didn’t get hurt. How am I supposed to help if I can’t even protect my own pack?”

Malia’s brow furrows, not out of disagreement this time, but from genuine confusion. “You don’t have to get hurt to save people’s lives, Scott. Did you—did you really not see what you did tonight?”

Scott looks at her in confusion “What I did…? I didn’t even call 911, that was—”

“No, Scott. I mean—everything else. You took so much pain from everyone—”

“You did, too—”

“Yeah, for two people, Scott, and it sucked. It always sucks. But you did it for everyone, which means you’re probably still feeling it now.”

Scott concentrates harder on keeping his hands still, which just makes Malia roll her eyes.

“But that’s still about making yourself hurt. So I’m not even talking about that.”

Scott frowns. “Then what…?”

“Your mom,” Malia says. “You knew exactly what to do when she was having trouble, and then at the end there—I don’t even know what happened—”

“Tension pneumothorax,” Scott says, softly. “It’s when there’s too much air pressure in the chest cavity and your lungs start to collapse. Dogs and cats can get them too, so. It comes up sometimes.”

“Great, well, that’s not average information,” she says. “If you’d been down with a bullet or six, no one else would’ve known what to do.”

It earns a slight smile out of him. “Pretty sure my mom would’ve.”

“Shut up,” Malia says, jostling his shoulder. “My point is… you did good on a really bad night. And you did it because of who you are, not because of what someone’s made you or forced you into doing.”

Scott’s ears pick up Dr. Geye’s familiar gait approaching. “I think they’re going to let me see her for a bit before she’s out.”

Malia purses her lips, and squeezes his hands once more before letting go. “Okay. Just do me a favor?”

Scott looks at her.

“Six people got shot in your house,” she says, enunciating each word to make sure he’s listening. “Six. But there were seven people total. And tonight might’ve been a very different story if it’d been just six, and not six and one.”

Scott licks his lips. Digs his nails into the pads of his fingers: one, two, three, four, five, six—

Seven.

He nods, and his lungs feel a little lighter.

[murdershegoat]

nothing's sweeter than summertime and american honey

(written under the influence)

(also on ao3)

lena thinks she might be hallucinating, because there is no way kara danvers is skateboarding in the luthor family pool.

wait. go back a step.

why is the luthor family pool empty??

it’s the second last week of summer, and lena stands on the back porch, her arms now self-consciously folded across her half-naked body. she stares in confusion as kara danvers appears on one side of the pool and then promptly disappears, only to pop up at the other end moments later.

‘kara, can you quit it?’ comes a gruff, familiar voice. alex danvers from ap bio is fiddling with some pool equipment at the edge of the yard. ‘this is a huge job for dad and you’re gonna get us fired.’ neither girl has noticed lena yet, for which she is very thankful.

‘take a chill pill,’ comes kara’s reply. ‘you just wanna finish quickly so you can go see maggie.’

even from her distance, lena can see how red alex’s face goes. ‘shut up! we’re just friends.’

kara snorts. ‘sure, jt and britney are also “just friends.” just admit you like her.’

lena assumes they’re talking about maggie sawyer, who had transferred into alex’s grade late last year. alex grumbles something in response that isn’t a denial, and lena feels her heart soar. alex danvers is a l-- she likes girls?? lena bites her lip.

this summer has been a nightmare of loneliness, even more so than usual. her mother hasn’t been home in a month and lex had flown in yesterday and spent the day with her, only to fly out early this morning before she woke up. she’s spent the summer sending emails to her penpal jack, lazing by the pool, and clearing her search history of questionable googles. she’s also been grappling with a huge secret, something she can’t tell anybody (not that she has anybody to tell in the first place.) her secret is this: she really wants to kiss somebody. and that somebody happens to be in her grade. and that somebody happens to be a girl.

it happens to be the girl who is now skateboarding in the suspiciously empty luthor pool, the girl who’s impossibly smart and funny and kind. the only person at Midvale High who’s not seemingly shit scared of lena.

the realization has been haunting her all summer, refusing to give her a single moment of peace. and now, knowing that alex is, is also like she is, and hearing the way kara gently teases her about it... well, lena doesn’t feel as lonely anymore. she wants to say hello to the sisters, to ask alex a million questions and ask kara how her summer is going and if she wants to maybe, like, hang out together or something. but just the thought of either thing makes lena’s heart race uncomfortably fast and her mouth go all dry. she turns around and slams open the sliding glass door, but apparently she doesn’t know her own strength. as she steps into the doorway, the door ricochets against the the end of its track and bounces back, hitting her in the side of the head.

‘FUCK,’ she screams, before turning white and whirling around.

both danvers sisters are staring at her. kara looks concerned and alex looks livid.

‘yo, luthor,’ kara calls out. ‘you okay?’

lena wants to say yes, but then she feels something sticky on her temple, and brushes her hand against it.

great. she’s bleeding.

next thing she knows kara has her sitting on one of the deck chairs, and lena’s not sure if she’s got a concussion or if kara just looks extra.... phenomenal today. she’s wearing a basketball jersey and shorts and lena keeps catching glimpses of her sports bra. kara takes off her baseball cap and wipes her brow. 

lena frowns. ‘you cut your hair.’

kara’s gorgeous long hair is no longer, instead it’s short around the sides with a messy tuft on top. 

‘you don’t like it?’ kara asks, running her hand through it. 

‘it looks... dope,’ she replies, immediately regretting her choice of words.

‘i did it out of solidarity with alex,’ kara says, grinning. ‘she wanted to get a buzz cut but she was a bit self conscious.’

alex comes back into view, carrying a first aid kit with her. her hair, too, is shorter than lena remembers it being. alex cleans up the side of lena’s head.

‘look, i don’t think you have a concussion, but you can hang out with kara and i while we finish the pool and i can keep an eye on you.’

‘alex is a junior EMT now,’ kara says proudly. ‘she’s also pretty much single handedly running our dad’s pool company this summer.’

right. the pool. that’s why they’re here.

‘why were you skateboarding in it?’ lena asks.

‘it won’t leave any marks,’ alex says quickly. ‘i promise. don’t worry about a thing.’

‘no,’ lena says, wincing as alex keeps prodding her tender head. ‘i mean, why is it empty in the first place?’

alex averts her eyes. ‘it was empty when we got here. we just gave it a scrub and an acid wash to get rid of some of the, uh, stains at the bottom.’ 

okay. lena thinks she knows what that means. and it also explains why lex left so early this morning. he fucking killed someone in the pool and needs to clean up after himself. fuck. she’s so damn stupid, thinking he’d actually come home to spend time with her. and she feels so embarrassed, having to explain how she’s used to her brother killing people so she’s not surprised or shocked by this.

kara lays a hand on her shoulder and smiles down at her. lena thinks she’s about to comfort her in some way, and she feels her heart start to race again.

‘can i grab something to eat?’ is what kara says instead, and lena’s face falls at the same time Alex whacks her sister’s arm.

‘kara, that’s unprofessional.’ but lena just smiles.

‘what do you want?’

///

lena didn’t think her day would be spent watching the danvers sisters fill her pool and eat sandwiches prepared by bertha the luthors’ cook, but here she is. kara sits on the grass across from lena, her toes digging into the green grass. she has what lena can only assume is a birkenstocks foot tan -- four fat white strips of skin on an otherwise perfectly browned body.

the pool is filling behind them, and alex sits on the other side of the yard, whispering into her cell phone.

‘how’s your summer been?’ kara asks with a mouthful of turkey sandwich.

‘quiet,’ lena replies. ‘my family’s been busy and not around much. i’ve hung out with our staff, but i don’t think it counts if they’re paid to spend time with you.’ she laughs, trying to detract from how sad it sounds. ‘how is yours?’

‘busy. my dad’s been, uh, he’s sick. so alex and i have been doing all the pool jobs. not much time to hang out with friends.’

‘and alex... she’s... with maggie sawyer?’

kara chokes on her sandwich. 

swallowing painfully, she lowers her voice. ‘could you, like, not say anything? i was teasing her and she’s freaking out because she’s not sure if you heard anything or not and it’s still... new and our parents don’t really know and if the school finds out---’

‘don’t worry,’ lena assures her. ‘i won’t say a word.’ her chest swells at the way kara smiles gratefully and lena realises she’s an absolute goner, head over heels for someone who could never like her back. lena almost wants to tell her the truth. maybe it’s the sun beating down on them or the welcoming scratch of grass against her legs or the summer feeling that has finally settled over luthor mansion. but before she can say anything, alex calls out.

‘kara, come help me finish treating the water!’

///

‘it should be good for swimming after about twenty four hours,’ alex says, packing the last of their equipment into the truck. lena hands them both the envelope lex had left, plus a hefty tip for each of them.

‘we can’t accept this,’ kara says, shoving the notes back into lena’s hand. alex doesn’t follow suit.

‘don’t be dumb,’ lena rolls her eyes. ‘my brother left it here for you, and i don’t want it.’ she hands it back to kara, who pockets it angrily. alex looks pleased her sister’s conscience hasn’t cost her the cash.

they climb into the truck and it rumbles to life.

‘catch you later, luthor,’ alex says, giving her a little salute.

‘hey,’ lena says, before she can talk herself out of it. ‘did you guys wanna come hang out tomorrow? the pool’s all clean and it feels like it’s a waste if i’m the only one using it. and you can bring ma-- a friend, if you’d like,’ she directs the last part to just alex.

alex’s eyes bore straight through her, trying to size her up.

‘we should be finished work by the afternoon,’ she says finally. ‘we’ll see you then?’

lena grins. ‘awesome.’

///

the last few weeks of summer fly by with a new routine in place. the danvers sisters finish work in the early afternoon and make their way to lena’s house, picking up maggie on the way. they lounge around the pool and bertha makes them mountains of food and her husband michael teaches them how to barbecue and lena finally understands what summer is supposed to feel like.

alex and maggie give up whatever pretense they were holding onto a few days into the routine, holding hands and stealing kisses whenever they thought the others weren’t looking. kara pretends to be grossed out but lena sees the happy gleam in her eyes as she does so. she wonders if kara can see the wistful look in hers.

spending time with kara feels like a dream. she tries to teach lena how to skateboard on the long, winding driveway that leads up to the house. lena stands as rigid as can be on the board and kara holds onto her waist and guides her along, assuring her that she won’t fall, catching her when she inevitably does. in return, lena teaches kara the basics of fencing because kara seems oddly excited to learn, and it’s the only thing that lena can actually teach her. kara’s skill-set seems exhaustive and incredulous. it’s like she’s a superhero or something. after just a couple of afternoons of practice, she’s better than some of the people lena’s been fencing with for years.

kara, lena is learning, is impossibly great. like, she’s known that for years; they’ve been in the same homeroom for two years, and are in lots of other classes together. she’s seen kara’s brain in action, and her humor and her kindness. but now she’s learned of a different kara, one that isn’t always in a great mood, one that isn’t always trying to please people.

kara still has walls up, lena’s sure of it, but she’s letting lena into the inner fortress, one layer at a time. and in turn, lena welcomes kara into her own heart, desperate to know the girl, and in turn, be known by her.

///

‘you know i’m... i’m... gay, right?’ 

it’s the first time lena’s said it out loud, and the sound of it alone makes her feel warm and comfortable in a way she’s never imagined. it’s a few days before school goes back and they’re floating alone in the pool -- maggie and alex taking the afternoon for themselves. she doesn’t quite know why she’s telling kara; maybe it’s because she knows how accepting kara is of alex and maggie, maybe it’s because she needs kara to figure out her big, overwhelming feelings.

‘i didn’t know,’ kara says with a small smile. ‘but thank you for telling me. i’m glad you feel comfortable enough to tell me.’

‘nobody else knows,’ lena confesses. ‘i mean, i barely know. i only really figured it out earlier in the summer.’

‘what made you realise?’ kara asks, before shaking her head. ‘sorry. you don’t have to answer that.’

‘it’s okay... i just... i realised that the feelings i had for this girl felt more... urgent? than i’ve felt about people before? like, i needed to be near her in a way i don’t usually need to be around friends.’

‘what’s she like?’ kara asks, and lena blushes.

‘she’s beautiful. and she’s wickedly smart. i feel like she would’ve been a handful as a kid, but she’s learned how to balance out that recklessness a bit. and she makes me laugh a lot.’

‘she sounds great,’ kara says, and lena laughs.

‘you have no idea.’

a lull settles between them as they float side by side. the sun begins to disappear behind the woods at the back of the property, and with it goes the warmth of day.

‘you know...’ kara says. ‘alex told me she thought you were gay. said she got a vibe.’

‘really?’ lena doesn’t know if she should be embarrassed or scared or proud.

‘yeah. she also said something else.’

‘what’s that?’

kara leans forward, no longer floating on her back. lena does the same and faces her.

‘she said... she said she thinks you like me.’

lena wonders if drowning herself is a viable way to get out of this conversation. or maybe she can just... swim to the other side of the pool.

‘lena?’ kara prompts.

‘yes?’

‘is she. is alex. is she right?’

lena looks at the water, unable to meet kara’s eyes.

‘yes.’ she says, in an impossibly small voice.

kara closes the space between them. she rests a finger under lena’s chin and tilts her head up. lena bites her lip as she looks into kara’s annoyingly blue eyes.

and before she can register anything else, kara is kissing her. she tastes like chlorine and sunscreen and cola lipsmacker and lena has never tasted anything quite as good. lena’s hands find kara’s neck and kara’s find lena’s hips and they stay like that -- making out in the pool -- until the sun is no longer in the sky and they’re both just slightly shivering.

‘do you want,’ lena says, slightly breathless. ‘do you wanna maybe go up to my room?’

kara grins and kisses her again, chaste and quick. ‘can we stop by the kitchen first?’

[festivecuriosity]

[October 13, 2020]

♡ Mercury retrograde in Scorpio is happening tonight. I can already feel/see it's influence. It also doesn't help matters that my current household is primarily made up of Scorpios or Plutonian individuals (most of my roommates are "essential workers" like EMTs or caretakers). Brad (the most Scorpio of the house) has called for a rare consideration; that there be silence in the living room (communal space) when he comes home. He's never asked for that before. This feels very symbolic of Mercury Retrograde in Scorpio. A moment of silence in our otherwise very talkative household. Besides that, he's coming home right around the time MRX/Scorpio would be officially beginning.

♤ Identifying omens is part of my practice. It's one of my oldest, foundational, cornerstones of how I communicate with the Universe and my guides. When you notice something (really notice it) to the point that it stands out in your mind and you end up thinking on it all day, it is an "omen". A symbolic representation of the message the Universe is sending you. I was given an omen by the Universe yesterday as to the immediate future/Mercury RX in Scorpio. I was outside (smoking) when I saw a hawk soaring in the air, being pursued by two black crows, and navigating around their assaults. The hawk (personally) represents my spiritual vision/focus/accuracy. The two crows, I believe, represented thoughts that attack my focus. I.e. Huginn and Muninn, thought and memory. Although, Huginn and Muninn are technically ravens. Not crows. I still think the message from the Universe is to tame my PTSD/where my mind goes/stay focused on my goals instead of letting my negative thoughts pick at me.

Also kind of reminds me of the qliphothic sphere/inverted sphere of Netzach. Where the "crows" pick at the beauty of Source. Another reminder to keep my inner criticism from attacking my spiritual focus/my ability to see the beauty in my life and self.

Two other people in the household got omens on the same day as me. One person got a vulture eating roadkill on the side of the road, the other got a brown cricket. Since the vulture means rebirth and ressurection through shadow work, I think the household is going through a transitional phase (what affects one person in the house typically touches all of us). I am not certain on the brown cricket, however. Good luck? What struck me the most about it was that my roommate was trying to catch it...and it always knew when to hop away just in the nick of time.

♧ I've been rearranging/unpacking my boxes from Seattle finally. For a long time now, I've just been living out of boxes, and refusing to do much magic. I didn't even set up my altar when I got all my stuff back from [Redacted abuser]. It's taken awhile to even get myself back to directly communicating with my guides...much less the Universe/Source. Anyways, I'm finally going through my boxes, and setting up an official altar area. When I was getting into my old rock and crystal collection (I was into that stuff way back before I realized how harmful the crystal/gemstone trend is for Earth's environment), I found an old piece of Mookaite that I friend gave me. And I shit you not, the thing physically vibrated in my hand when I touched it.

I've been holding it ever since. Have totally and honestly forgotten all the exact properties of the stones I own. It's been such a long time. I was also practicing "crystal/crystal energy psychicism" when I was homeless as a means to survive the streets so...I'm pretty sure my PTSD is blocking a lot of that information out.

I guess it's time to rediscover crystals again? Not buying any new ones. Just utilizing the ones I already have to the best of my ability. I feel like it was wrong that so many of them were taken from the ground to be pretty baubles for people. I might as well make it worth something by using them to help myself/others/incorporate them into my active life so they hold meaning.

Mookaite feels very grounding and soothing already. It feels like a very receptive stone, inviting energy into it much like organic pearls do. I also notice that it has almost a dream/trance-like affect to it's grounding energy. I think maybe I'll take time to meditate with it tomorrow.

◇ Brad pretty much runs the household that I live in. Further details; I live in a BDSM polycule, Brad is one of the doms. One of Brad's relationships was very close to being homeless recently. While normally, being homeless is... [redacted PTSD disassociating moment] being non-binary and homeless during COVID-19 is even worse. So we took them in. Inevitably, we had to make some major adjustments (about space, because technically we're fitting 9 people in a 2 bedroom house). It's been a test of adaptability through chaos for everyone. One of the major areas of contention is that everything inside the house is getting moved, rearranged, or tossed. And some people (mainly [redacted name]) is absolutely 100% terrible at adapting to change, unless someone is literally dying. Also, while I get that none of this can really be helped, I'm also a bit annoyed by the sudden introduction of someone new.

But even if I'm annoyed by it, I wasn't about to say "no" when Brad told us what was going on. I'm not a monster. I was homeless too and Brad helped me get off the streets. This person, while I don't know them well enough to make a judgement, deserves the same chance that I did to get stable in an era where stability is a pipe dream.

I'm actually not the one having the hardest problem. Surprising, it's the spirit of the house that's having the hardest problem. Our house is an old 1950's model built at the corner of a crossroads. Technically the house kinda exists as a liminal space. And there's so much stuffed inside of it that theoretically anything *could exist* in the house. Sometimes weird shit pops up and then disappears. It's very similar to the Seattle house I lived in when I was with [KILL BILL SIRENS] but has less of a metaphorical underworld cave vibe and more of a Howl's Moving Castle vibe. Anyways, the house itself is having a bad time adjusting to all the change/cleaning that the new roommate is doing...because it keeps hiding and moving (specifically) all the stuff that the new roommate has. They're not a stoner. They have a decently good memory. And I know that nobody in the house would do something like that. Plus, they apparently heard disembodied laughter right after discovering something was missing. The genuis locci (house spirit) is fucking with 'em hard.

I've never seen the genius locci do this before. The worst it ever did to me was hide a really expensive Egyptian cotton pillow case once. It eventually spat it back out after cuddling with it, I imagine. Seriously; Egyptian cotton sheets. Get you some.

So after the 100× time today that the new roommate was swearing about their missing things, I suggested that maybe they need to butter up the genius locci with gifts. Kinda romance the house a bit. Give it something so that it builds a relationship with the spirits that live here. They're a (self-professed) baby witch whose background is Jewish. They mostly excel at kitchen witchery (for now) and incorporating the works and wisdom of the Torah into their life. So they weren't too certain on ritualistic offerings to a house spirit. But with some suggestions from me and listening to their own intuition, they were able to put something quick together. It's nice to see people using magic around the house and learning new skills. And to their benefit, I felt the house chill out a bit after the ritual/gift giving was done.

I have been giving the house/my guides a portion of my nightly tea every now and then. It's honestly nothing fancy but I figure small gifts count for something right?

[rockhoochie]

No Apologies

(*Edit, previously titled “He Brings Me Sugar”)

Pairing: Dean/OFC

Warnings: Adult Content, Smut, Slow Burn, Somewhat Dubious Consent, Angst, Prescription Drug Abuse, Drinking, Knife play (very brief), Minor OC (sibling) Death, Language, Oral Sex (M/F receiving).

Summary: After losing her sister Anna to a demon, the Winchesters have taken Lexi under their wing. She studies and trains with them, tense friction quickly growing between her and Dean. When Sam and Castiel leave to take care of the demon that killed Anna without her, the levee of tension amidst Lexi and Dean breaks, flowing into something neither of them expected.

A/N: This is an edit of a fic I’ve posted previously. I meant to write a brief smutty one-shot and ended up developing the OFC a bit. Since the word count is 10K+, I decided to chapter it out. There may still be some errors, so please forgive me as I haven’t had this beta’d yet. Thank you for reading and as always, if you’d like to be tagged just send an ask!

**My work is not to be copied, altered, posted on other sites or otherwise used without my express written permission**

 Chapter 3

I had been living with Sam and Dean for about six months no, ever since my life had been turned completely and insanely upside down. Ever since my house had been burned down by a demon. Ever since that same demon had possessed my sister Anna and made her snap her own neck…

It had just been Anna and me. Our parents were gone, killed in a car accident almost two years ago. Anna had resolved to stay home with me after our parents’ funeral. They had left the house to us in their will – rather than try to deal with selling it, we moved in. Although sometimes painful, living in our childhood home again, surrounded by our parents’ possessions and essence was comforting in its own bittersweet way.

Sam had been only halfway through the exorcism when Anna was killed. Dean had been holding me from behind as I simply cried and screamed for my sister. I watched, helpless and confused and terrified as the demon glared me with eyes black as obsidian. It cackled with Anna’s voice, and unceremoniously twisted her head almost the whole way around. The demon left her then, in a thick black vine of smoke that reeked of sulfur, and making the most wretched squealing sound I had ever heard. Dean’s grip loosened on me as her body hit the floor. I had run over to Anna and held her, stroking her hair as my tears fell into her open, dead eyes, not caring that the flames licking the walls were gaining more and more strength. Sam had yelled repeatedly at Dean to get me out; Dean had to coax and scream and pry me away from my little sister. He had dragged me out of the burning house – literally kicking and screaming – as I watched Sam pour a copious amount of rock salt over Anna’s corpse.

Once Dean had gotten us a safe distance away and Sam had run out of the burning house, everything I had left in me vanished as I collapsed on the street. The brothers stayed with me the entire time, through the police and fireman interrogations, through the paramedic examination. The EMT’s kept telling me how lucky I was. I kept silently telling them to go fuck themselves.

Once the fire was out and Anna’s body had been wheeled away, all I could do was tremble, and repeatedly ask Sam and Dean what hell happened, what’s going on, what was that thing. They tried their best to calm me and explain. My head swam along with my tears as they told me that monsters were real, that they were hunters – the kind of hunters that kill the things that everyone else dismissed as fairy tales. They told me were demons real, angels were too, but God had left the building…and vampires and werewolves and even dragons absolutely existed outside of nightmares. At first, I thought they were insane, or that everything that had happened had caused me to go off the deep end.

They took me to their car, a black ’67 Impala, and showed me the contents of the trunk. Guns, knives, bullets, a goddamn machete. Dean reached for and opened a leather-bound journal, and flipping the pages slowly as I peered at them. They were full of hand drawn pictures of awful creatures, of handwritten information about each one – what is was, where it came from, and how to kill it.

Despite the obvious proof, I maintained the position that either I was losing my mind or they were certifiable lunatics.

Deep down I knew it was all true - nothing else could explain it. The weight of accepting that truth crushed anything that remained of my heart that night.

That demon had destroyed the only home and family had left. The only thing I was able to walk away with were the clothes on my back and the necklace I wore – a heart-shaped silver pendant with a single diamond embedded near the top, a single silver angel wing decorating the right side, and the words “Big Sister” engraved in simple print. Anna had one that matched – the only difference was the angel wing on the left side, and the engraved phrase “Little Sister”. We had found them in our mother’s closet, already wrapped in Christmas paper, tucked away amongst other gifts and boxes. Mom had always called us her angels on earth.

One of the EMTs had slipped Anna’s necklace into my hand. I slid the pendant off the chain, and joined it with my own. I silently promised my sister retribution. Whatever it took, wherever I had to go, I was going to destroy the thing that murdered her or die trying.

When Sam asked me if I had someone to call or someone I could stay with, I had shaken my head ‘no’. I had some friends out of state I could’ve called, but I couldn’t even bring myself to consider leaving. I needed answers about what had happened to Anna, and I was hellbent on revenge. I had told them I’d get a hotel for now, but Sam said he didn’t feel comfortable just leaving me alone. That demon was still out there somewhere, and chances were it was going to come after me.

That night they brought me to the bunker.

I sat at the library table in silence, watching Dean unpack his gear while Sam got a room ready for me.

“Hey,” Dean had said, “When’s the last time you ate anything?”

“Not hungry,” I mumbled.

“Not what I asked you.”

“I don’t know, sometime yesterday…”

Dean walked into the kitchen, leaving me to stare at the strange arsenal he had laid out in front of me - a sawed-off shotgun, several knives, bloody clothes and flasks – either full of holy water or whiskey.

He returned with a small plate and a fork, setting a piece of cherry pie in front of me.

“I’d rather have a drink,” I mumbled.

“Pie first.”

I cut a small piece, forcing myself to take one small bite after another until I finished it, trying to at least find some comfort in its sweetness. I licked the last of the thick filling off of my fork, and ran my finger along the sides of my lips to clean off any trace that may have remained.

When I looked up, I found Dean staring at me, his lips parted, his green eyes fixed on me.

“What is it?” I asked. “Is there some on my face?”

He blinked with a slight shake of his head and leaned back in his chair.

“No,” he said. “I just…I’m sorry for everything you went through tonight. I know how it is to lose family, and…”

“Thanks,” I whispered.

“Here,” he said, handing me a silver flask. “You can have that drink now”.

***

I had stayed in my room for three days after I got there, only leaving to use the bathroom. For the most part, Sam and Dean gave me my space. Sam would knock twice a day, come in and bring me food. Sometimes we would make small talk. Sometimes we would just sit there in silence, until he would put a movie on for me. He’d hold me while I cried, listen calmly when I screamed.

Dean had been present, but had kept himself fairly distant. On the morning of my third day at the bunker, I woke to find a pint of Jack Daniels and slice of cherry pie on my night stand. I knew that was from him. As great as Sam was about being attentive to my emotions, Dean knew what I didn’t know I really needed – sugar and booze. I washed down the pie with the whiskey, and spent the rest of the day getting blissfully drunk while watching old western movies.

On the fourth day, I finally came out of my room with a staggering hangover. That was the day I met Castiel, and experienced the glorious magic that was angelic healing. Cas had simply touched two fingers to my forehead, erasing the lingering physical pain I had from the night Anna died, healing the cuts and bruises covering my body. Even my hangover was gone. It was also the day I asked Sam and Dean to teach me everything they knew.

Sam read through lore and research with me, quizzing me on what the most common creatures were and how to kill them. He showed me the best places to look for the rare, odd things, and told me to who to call if I got stuck on something. I studied symbols, warding, summoning spells and credit card fraud. Sam was patient and warmhearted while he taught me, leading me to correct my own wrong answers and guiding me step-by-step as I practiced sketching Devil’s Traps. Sam quickly became like a big brother to me – that was the reason I picked him to take me to get the anti-possession tattoo on the back of my neck.

Dean led me in the more hands-on aspects of hunting. He taught me how to handle the guns, how to clean them, how to put them back together. He showed me the different bullets, the rock salt shells and the witch killers. He gave me a hunting knife, a lock-pick kit, and finally my own Glock.

We also spent time sparring, practicing hand to hand fighting. He never held back with me, saying that if I was going to have his or his little brother’s six, I’d better damn well know how to fight.

Dean was tough on me, critical, demanding perfection from everything he was trying to teach me. It only took about two weeks before started grating on each other. The more comfortable I got around him, the more he learned that not only could I take it, but I could dish it right back to him. That seemed to piss him off, and I found myself secretly enjoying it.

One particular day in the shooting range we really had it out. I was holding my Glock, trying to aim at the target and he would just not shut up. My stance was wrong, I wasn’t holding the gun the right way, what did I think this was, the goddamn movies? I finally cracked that day, screaming at him to get the fuck out of my face and back the hell off. I had stormed off, hiding myself in an archive room for the next several hours. When I finally returned to my room, there was a pint of Jack Daniels and a slice of pie sitting on my nightstand. By that time, I had learned how high pie was on Dean’s list of priorities. So, with a smile, I took the gesture as an apology and forgave him.

After a couple of months, I went out on some simple hunts with them – a spirit here, a poltergeist there. Sam was proud of me. Dean was impressed. I wanted to do more. Despite my insistence and protestations, they left me behind on the more difficult hunts - vampire nests, werewolf packs, things that hunted in twos, or anything demon-related.

Whenever they left me behind, I resigned myself to trying to track down the demon that killed Anna. I looked for patterns, strange sightings, any hint that the thing was still around. Sam and Dean tortured any demon they came across to get information before destroying or exoring them. Not one of them knew anything, or if they did, they weren’t talking. Dean had even summoned Crowley to interrogate him. After Crowley spent an eternity talking in circles and flirting with me, he insisted he knew nothing about my sister, or which one of his minions may have killed her. He did however, offer to make finding it out for me his top priority in exchange for my soul. Dean had cursed at him for that, charging at him with Ruby’s knife. Crowley vanished with a snap of his fingers before Dean could even get close to him.

I kept hunting, kept researching, kept hoping. I made it extremely clear to Sam and Dean that I was going to be the one to destroy that demon once it dared to show up again. They never protested, but never seemed too thrilled with the idea either.

It was comforting knowing I had people who had my back – hell, it was comforting to know that an actual angel had my back. Any time they left and hunted without me it filled me with dread. The Winchesters were the best at what they did, but if anything ever happened to them I’d be lost. I couldn’t imagine life without Sam, the brother I never had. I couldn’t even imagine life without Dean…the Dean I never had.

[whatkindofwatch]

Best Watches for EMTs & Paramedics – Reviews with Comparison

Best Choice

G-Shock Tough Solar

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Best Value

​Timex Marathon

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Best Low Light

Luminox Navy Seal

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EMTs and Paramedics have super demanding jobs and need a tough watch to match. Now, there are two schools of thought on what makes the best EMT watch:

1) A lot of features and you're happy to pay for watch that will last, or  

2) Something cheap and basic that you can throw away should it become too gross.

Either way, we've got something for you in our EMT watch picks below. We also have a buyers guide at the end to help you decide which EMT watch is best for you. 

Note: This guide focuses on EMTs, but our recommendations are also suitable for paramedics and EMS in general. We've also covered our favorite watches for nurses here. 

EMT watch reviews

4.5

Best Choice

1. G-Shock Tough Solar GWM5610

Super tough with solar power and atomic timekeeping. As maintenance-free as you can get.

Solar powered 

Auto-light feature to keep hands free

200m (660ft) water resistance

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G-Shocks are clear favorites amongst EMTs because they are super practical. Renowned for being extremely tough, and packed with great features at an affordable price.

They are easy to read, water resistant (200m) and the silicon band is simple to clean with minimal risk of patient contamination.

The good We like the GWM5610 G-Shock because it's relatively small (compared to other G-Shocks), has an EL backlight powered auto-light feature so you can turn it on and still keep your hands free. And is solar powered so there's no risk of the battery dying when you need it most.

Add in the atomic timekeeping function that automatically syncs the time every night and you've got yourself a super reliable set and forget watch. The bad The retro square design is not exactly loved by everyone. But we don't really mind as the practical benefits of this watch make up for its rather bland design.

If you're a deep sleeper, we'd recommend using a different alarm such as a cell phone or alarm clock as the alarm on the G-Shock GWM5610 may not be loud enough to wake you.

Pros

Affordable

Auto-light

Solar powered

Tough as nails

Cons

Retro square design not for everyone

Alarm sound can be too soft

Atomic timekeeping signal strength depends on where you live

Specifications

Movement: Solar Powered Digital 

Crystal: Mineral

Case: Plastic

Case size: 47mm

Band material: Plastic

Water resistance: 200m (660ft)

24 hr time: Yes

Seconds display: Yes

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G-Shock Tough Solar GWM5610

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4.0

Best Value

2. Timex Marathon 

The entry-level model from Timex is functional, cheap and will get the job done. 

Super affordable

Large, easy to read display

24 hour time

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Sometimes you just need a watch to be just that; a watch. Easily read the time, a few functions (including 24hr time) and you're set. 

This basic Timex watch is just that. The cheapest watch in this list, it's ideal for those that just need a basic watch whilst on duty. 

The good

At this pricepoint, the Timex Marathon is considered a 'throw away' watch. With such a small investment, you don't really need to think about the purchase. You can buy one and if it doesn't live up to expectations, you can buy another one after a month or two of usage and give this one to your kid brother or relative. 

The durability is good, but it is not a G-Shock. It's plastic case does protrude and offers protection from bumps and scratches, but don't be surprised if a solid knock causes damage to it. 

With supersized numbers, readability at a quick glance is great. This includes easy-to-read seconds. 

If you need a cheap watch that just functions well as a watch, there's little risk in trying a Timex Marathon as your first EMT watch. 

The bad

The numerous nooks and crannies in the Marathon can trap organic matter more than some other watches in this list. So, you'll need to take a little more care cleaning and washing this watch.

Some buyers haven't been impressed with the size of the band. Suggesting it's on the skinny side if you're an adult male.

Pros

Super affordable

Great readability

Simple to use

Cons

Basic functionality

Not as durable as others in this list

Specifications

Movement: Quartz

Crystal: Acrylic

Case: Plastic

Case size: 43mm

Band material: Plastic

Water resistance: 50m (150 ft)

24 hr time: Yes

Count seconds: Yes

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Marathon by Timex

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Best Low Light

3. Luminox Navy Seal Evo 3051 

When luminosity counts, the Navy Seal delivers with a punch. 

Fantastic luminescence

Rugged and durable 

Bold design

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Designed by the Swiss for super challenging low light conditions faced by navy seals, the Luminox Navy Seal is a popular alternative for EMTs. 

There's a lot to like about the practicality of this watch, but I personally really enjoy the bold, striking design and readability of the numbers. It screams, "I'm here to work, but I will look good doing it".

We've also recommended the blackout version as one of our favorite watches for law enforcement officers. 

The good

Boasting lume that is 100x brighter than it's competitors, the tritium lume makes it unbeatable for low-light situations where every second counts.

The tough polyurethane case is designed to weather all sorts of bumps and scratches. With sleek crown guards to prevent any damage to the crown.

As it's designed for navy seals, there's no surprise that it comes with 200m water resistance. Water is the natural state for the Luminox Navy Seal. 

The striking design allows this watch to transcend the work/life boundary, so it will not look out of place if you decide to wear it off-duty too. 

The bad

The plastic band may need to be replaced after a year or two of solid use. But, given the accumulation of fluids and other organic matter that builds up on any EMT watch, it's probably not a bad idea to replace the band semi-regularly anyway. 

Whilst still affordable, the Luminox Navy Seal is more expensive than the other watches on this list. Making it more of an investment than a cheap throw away watch. So, if you're a new EMT and not exactly sure whether it's for you, then this may not be the best watch for you.

Pros

100x brigher lume than competitors

Rugged and durable

Striking design

200m water resistance

Cons

Band may need replacing

Most expensive in list

Specifications

Movement: Japanese quartz 

Crystal: Mineral

Case: Polyurethane

Case size: 44mm

Band material: Polyurethane

Water resistance: 200m (660ft)

Count seconds: Yes

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Luminox Navy Seal Evo 3051

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4. Seiko 5 SNK809

This automatic from Seiko combines classic simplicity and affordability into an impressive package. 

Automatic

Easy to read

Affordable

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Seiko 5’s have a fantastic reputation for packing higher-end features into an affordable, durable and classicaly designed watch.

There are numerous Seiko 5’s to choose from, but we’ve gone with the SNK809 model because of its easy to read color scheme, mainstream appeal and affordability.

The good The military inspired Seiko 5 SNK809 is born from the Seiko 5 range that first hit shelves in 1963. The “5” references the 5 features that were introduced for this series, which are still relevant today.

These are:

In-house automatic movement 

Day-date complication at 3 o’clock (this was rare in 1963)

Water resistance

Recessed crown at 4 o’clock

Super tough mainspring inside a durable case

They’ve had a lot of time to make alterations and improvements since they launched, which has allowed them to continue to increase quality, whilst advancements in Japanese mass production efficiencies have allowed them to keep costs very affordable. The 37mm size suits a wide variety of tastes and doesn’t pose any issue to wear underneath jackets or other work clothes. The luminosity is provided by Seiko’s own Lumibrite and displays luminous dots every five minutes for easy reading. The bad One of the reasons we like this watch is that it’s hard to find real faults with it. This is especially true considering its sub $100 price point and Seiko automatic movement. If we were being super hard to please, we’d push for slightly more functionality from the automatic movement such as hand winding and hacking (so we can re-sync the time easier). Whilst the strap is durable, we’d probably opt for a non-canvas option to help avoid nasty pathogens from accumulating.

Finally, the simple and flat design is not to everyone’s taste -- but we think the understated, flat design looks great and is super practical for EMTs.

Pros

Automatic movement

Recessed crown at 4 o’clock is less likely to hinder a bent wrist

Durable case, mainspring and strap

Affordable, especially for an automatic

Cons

No hand winding or hacking functions

Canvas strap is tough, but can trap pathogens

37mm size might be on the small side if you have larger wrists.

Specifications

Movement: Japanese automatic 

Crystal: Hardlex

Case: Stainless steel

Case size: 37mm

Band material: Nylon

Water resistance: 30m (100ft)

Count seconds: Yes

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Seiko 5 SNK809

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5.  G-Shock DW 9052

Affordable. Durable. Simple. A great entry-level choice for EMTs. 

Affordable G-Shock

Comfortable strap design

200m water resistance

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The second G-Shock in our list of best EMT watches is the DW 9052. I consider it the entry-level G-Shock for EMTs. You can find slightly cheaper G-Shocks, but this comes at an unacceptable performance trade off. 

The good

The tough case can withstand everything thrown at an EMT (and then some). The lugs are also designed with durability and comfort in mind, as the straps can move freely inside the lugs. This allows the straps to better hug the wrist and provides a more comfortable wearing experience. 

No, you won't get the same functions like solar power or atomic timekeeping that you'll get with the GWM5610 G-Shock, but you'll also pay about half the price. Making this a very affordable watch, perfect for those that aren't looking for a lot of additional functions. 

Water resistance of 200m is a great addition at this price point. You don't need to worry about the elements or other liquids your day. 

The dial layout is easy to read, with two separate displays for the time and the date, separate by the middle section that counts every 10 seconds. 

The bad

Whilst the dial readability is good, I don't really like the middle section that allows to keep track of 10s increments. I find it of limited use and this space could have been used to make the time and date displays bigger. The middle 10s count display also makes the watch look a little busy. 

Like all G-Shocks the DW 9052 is a bulky watch at 47mm in diameter and 15mm thick. Whilst the thickness is great for absorbing shocks,it becomes an issue for catching on things and if you need to wear it underneath a jacket in winter. 

The mineral crystal display offers substantial scratch resistance, but it will get scratched over time. The scratch resistance could be improved with a sapphire crystal but that would certainly increase the price.

Pros

Affordable G-Shock

Super durable

200m water resistance

Cons

Dial can be busy until you get used to it

Basic model - so no advanced features. 

Specifications

Movement: Quartz

Crystal: Mineral

Case: Plastic

Case size: 47 mm

Band material: Plastic

Water resistance: 200m (660ft)

24hr time: Yes

Count seconds: Yes

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G-Shock DW 9052

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EMT Watch Buyers Guide

We’ve consulted with some paramedic friends and scoured the watch and EMT forums to determine the features that matter for EMTs. Naturally, some of these factors will be more important to you than others.

Easily cleaned

Any watch worn by an EMT is going to need to be cleaned. A lot. An unavoidable part of being an EMT is that you are going to get all sorts of bodily fluids splattered across your wrists and hands. Don’t just think about the face, but the rear casing, band, buttons and even the bezel (if it has one) will need to be routinely washed with soap and/or alcohol.

Water resistant

Internal watch components hate water, soap, alcohol (rubbing and EtOH) and other fluids, so a watch that has good water resistance (please don’t say waterproof -- there is no such thing) should be high on your list of must-haves.

Count seconds

Either a digital watch that displays seconds or an analog with a second hand will generally be required for taking a patient’s pulse etc. Some work environments may even stipulate specific requirements such as an analog with a second hand MUST be worn. Obviously you need to adopt this guide to your own circumstances.

Dial color

Dial readability in an instant is a must. A dark background with contrasting hands is a great option. Black dials are very popular amongst EMT’s for this reason.

Luminosity

This is particularly critical for night shift duties. Standard practice is to use a non-radioactive photoluminescent material to provide the luminosity. However, this means that the watch needs to be exposed to a light source to “recharge”, which may not be possible on a long night shift with the end result being a watch with poor luminosity and difficult to read at night.

If luminosity is important to you, then your best bet is to get a watch with tritium gas inserts or a back-lit LED. An auto light feature is the next best option which automatically turns on the light if the watch is tilted towards you to read it. The lights up if you turn your wrist.

Band type

The band needs to be easily washable as it should really be washed whenever you wash your hands. It should also be easily replaceable as chances are you’ll go through a few. Band material is also an important consideration as they can be a hotbed for bacteria and other threats to patients. Metal links can trap a whole range of nasties, while leather and nylon can also absorb hazardous pathogens. So, the best choice is a plastic/silicone band.

Durability

Wondering whether your watch is going to be able to withstand all the small bumps, scrapes, dings and scratches that it will inevitably receive whilst on EMT duty is not really something you want to be worrying about. A watch with a proven track history of absorbing shocks and abuse should be an important consideration if you're thinking of the watch as anything more than a throw away investment. 

Size

Whilst watch size generally comes down to personal preference, there are a couple of additional points an EMT needs to factor in which may lead to a smaller size being preferred. The first is a bulky watch is more difficult to wear underneath a sweater or jacket. Secondly, a larger watch may impede your wrist movement during important procedures such as giving CPR.

If you have any doubt, start with a smaller watch. 

Price vs Features

Price is clearly going to be a factor. We’ve left it last because there are two different schools of thought when it comes to how much an EMT should spend on a watch. The first says that just use a very basic watch that fulfils most of the above criteria and replace the watch whenever it breaks or gets too dirty. This is also a great strategy for those that are a little unsure about what watch they should be wearing on duty as a paramedic, especially new recruits. The second school of thought suggests that it’s worthwhile going for something a little more expensive that you shouldn’t have to replace as often. This will give you a watch that has more features and should fulfil all of your requirements. Whatever path you decide to go down, leave room in your budget for some replacement bands as these will most likely get pretty gross quickly.

Popular culture

Popular culture has caught onto the fact that G-Shock are the unofficial choice of EMTs, with numerous shows featuring G-Shocks on the wrist of characters employed as EMTs.

My favorite is Shameless, where several G-Shocks can be spotted such as this one:

If you're looking for a watch that will help you 'fit in', then G-Shocks are an obvious choice.

Final verdict

Don’t overthink the decision to find the best watch for your job as an EMT.

Do you just want something to get the job done with a minimum of fuss? If this is you, then go for the cheapest option in our list, the Marathon by Timex.

If you are after something that quenches your thirst for features without breaking the bank, the G-Shock Tough Solar is best for you.

The post Best Watches for EMTs & Paramedics – Reviews with Comparison appeared first on What Kind of Watch.

from What Kind of Watch https://whatkindofwatch.com/best-emt-paramedics/

[marcdouffet]

COVID-19: My family’s experience

On Sunday March 15, my younger sister called me crying. She had temperature of 101OF and a blinding headache, but it was an important day at her job, and she knew her supervisor really needed her help. “Stay home,” I said. “Tell him you’re sick, he’ll understand. Even if there wasn’t an emerging global pandemic, you’re legitimately sick. He’s understanding, this won’t affect your job at all. And call your doctor if the fever sticks around… If it was COVID-19, I would tell you just stay home, but it doesn’t sound like it, maybe you have something bacterial.” The next morning, things were about the same, so she called her doctor’s office and was advised to come in. A nurse wearing a gown, mask, and gloves took throat and nasal swabs. When the doctor came into the exam room, he was dressed similar, and stood at the farthest corner from her. “Well, rapid strep and flu are negative. We don’t test for it, but assume you have COVID-19. Go home and quarantine.” 

At that point, believe it or not just three weeks ago, we only believed COVID-19 as a respiratory infection. She called me scared, suddenly afraid she might have a life-threatening illness. “Why would they say, just assume? What does this mean for me?” She lives with my 60-year-old mother, who had been dropping off groceries at her 85-year-old mother since the first reported case. Everyone had been doing their part at social distancing, but was it enough? I reached out to the New York State Department of Health for guidance. “That’s ridiculous,” they told me. “She has no respiratory symptoms, without coughing she can’t spread droplets, and if they considered her a Person Under Investigation, they should have referred her for testing.” Within a week, we would find that every single one of those instructions had become obsolete or been proven incorrect. As the days progressed, she began to vomit excessively, unable to even keep water down. The fever continued. By that point, I began to hear reports from friends and colleagues on the front lines about younger patients presenting with GI or other atypical symptoms, and the daily reports I received from my mother had me more and more concerned. Friday the 20th, I contacted the DOH again. The hold time was 100 minutes. I described her symptoms, and this time they took down her information so they could contact her with a testing site and time, advising that she must come alone so as not to expose anyone else. Saturday evening, my mother called me frantic. After vomiting all day, my sister was too weak to sit up and while she wasn’t disoriented, she was acting euphoric- that’s medical speak for “she knew who she was and where she was but sounded high as a kite”. My concerns about dehydration, lurking in the back of my mind when the vomiting began, started creeping to the forefront. I contacted several urgent cares in her neighborhood, looking for someone who could administer IV fluids and do bloodwork. The answers were all the same: urgent cares aren’t designed for isolation; they aren’t seeing anyone who is suspected COVID-19. Desperate, I reached out to friends who are active EMTs and live closer to her to see if anyone could evaluate her. In full isolation gear, a friend went over to see her. “Look, she’s sick. She’s really sick,” he told me. “Any other time, any other virus, she probably would be hospitalized. But this time, she won’t be. I’ve been in the EDs, they’re overflowing. She’ll wait, and ultimately, she probably won’t get a bed. There’s just too many people sicker than her.”

Nobody slept that night. The next morning, the DOH called to give her an appointment slot the following day at a public park 18 miles away. Going alone wasn’t an option anymore, she could barely sit up let alone drive. So, Monday morning my mother packed her, a blanket, and a bottle of Powerade, into the car and made the trip up to what I now refer to as their “black ops testing experience”. At the entrance to the park, they were stopped by the National Guard, in uniform, with yellow safety vests and surgical masks. “Hold your ID up to the window- DO NOT OPEN YOUR WINDOWS,” the soldier shouted at them. Their appointment was verified, and they were directed to drive up to a testing tent. The nurse at the tent shouted through her mask and the sealed window. “Since you’re here and exposed, you’re getting tested too,” she called out to my mother. “Tilt your heads back, open the window and please, please, don’t cough or sneeze on me.” They had their noses swabbed and were cleared to leave. That was when it started to snow. Can’t make this stuff up. Twice, they pulled over for her to kneel in the slush on the side of the highway and vomit.

Then came the long anxious wait for results. With the amount of testing done daily, I wasn’t surprised at all that the timeline they gave us was behind by a day or two. On Thursday, my mother’s temperature creeped just above normal and she started complaining about ear pain. She called her primary doctor’s office, who gave her a mask and saw her in a tent in their parking lot. Once again, rapid strep and flu are negative. They prescribed antibiotics “just in case.” She asked me what I thought. Well, it’s been three days, maybe give it one more day to see how your viral culture comes back? On Friday afternoon, March 27, the DOH called, they both tested positive. Two weeks of quarantine from the date of testing for anyone in the house, and anyone sick must be symptom free for 72 hours, even if that’s longer than 14 days. Now my brother, the last man standing in the house, who had been picking up the groceries, dropping food off on my grandmother’s doorstep, has become Typhoid Mary (I educated my entire extended family on her life story, side bar, a very relevant reference to the asymptomatic carriers of this virus. Although she probably didn’t wash her hands…. I digress).

By that point, I think I would have been more surprised if they tested negative instead of positive. But my anxiety about my mother skyrocketed. I fretted and checked in with her daily. By sometime around the 30th, my sister was strong enough to care for herself, and by the end of that week she was feeling well. My mother’s temperature climbed, she developed a cough, but luckily, surprisingly, she bounced back faster than my young healthy sister, and seems well on her way to recovery as well. I hear my brother built a firepit in the backyard and repainted the dining room ceiling.

As this global health emergency evolves, I’ve developed a mantra: “We don’t know yet.” As my family’s token healthcare provider, with experience as an EMT as well as laboratory, in the scramble to gather information and understand this health crisis, I’ve repeated to them more times than I can count, “we just don’t know yet.” And perhaps for me that’s the biggest emotional challenge. I’m a healthcare provider, I’m a doer, I’m used to jumping in and caring for my family when they’re in need, and in this era, there’s nothing I can do but monitor and advise from a distance. I’m avidly reading studies as they get published, I’ve given my family crash courses in interpreting data and checking sources to try and make sense of the information overload. (For those interested, if you hear about a “miracle solution”, read the information carefully. Was the study published by a credible medical site/journal, or was it “published” to YouTube or the media? What was the sample size- how many people were in the study? Who was excluded and why? If people got better, what’s the likelihood that they would have recovered without intervention?)

A Note from Michael Werner, MD, Medical Director at Maze Health

In this time of fear and uncertainty, it’s important to share information such as this so we can all better understand the severity of this pandemic and its effects on individuals and our communities. At Maze, we are diligently practicing social distancing by remaining open on a very limited basis.  We are seeing existing patients with only a practitioner and one patient in the office at a time and our laboratory remains open for emergency sperm cryopreservation (for patients about to undergo chemotherapy etc.).  Simultaneously, we are doing our best to serve our patients via telehealth services. If you need assistance, please contact us. We’re here to help.

  The post COVID-19: My family’s experience appeared first on Treating Vaginismus, Low Sex Drive, Hormone Imbalances | Sexual Health Experts.

COVID-19: My family’s experience published first on https://medium.com/@PickupSexDolls

[janschreiner]

COVID-19: My family’s experience

On Sunday March 15, my younger sister called me crying. She had temperature of 101OF and a blinding headache, but it was an important day at her job, and she knew her supervisor really needed her help. “Stay home,” I said. “Tell him you’re sick, he’ll understand. Even if there wasn’t an emerging global pandemic, you’re legitimately sick. He’s understanding, this won’t affect your job at all. And call your doctor if the fever sticks around… If it was COVID-19, I would tell you just stay home, but it doesn’t sound like it, maybe you have something bacterial.” The next morning, things were about the same, so she called her doctor’s office and was advised to come in. A nurse wearing a gown, mask, and gloves took throat and nasal swabs. When the doctor came into the exam room, he was dressed similar, and stood at the farthest corner from her. “Well, rapid strep and flu are negative. We don’t test for it, but assume you have COVID-19. Go home and quarantine.” 

At that point, believe it or not just three weeks ago, we only believed COVID-19 as a respiratory infection. She called me scared, suddenly afraid she might have a life-threatening illness. “Why would they say, just assume? What does this mean for me?” She lives with my 60-year-old mother, who had been dropping off groceries at her 85-year-old mother since the first reported case. Everyone had been doing their part at social distancing, but was it enough? I reached out to the New York State Department of Health for guidance. “That’s ridiculous,” they told me. “She has no respiratory symptoms, without coughing she can’t spread droplets, and if they considered her a Person Under Investigation, they should have referred her for testing.” Within a week, we would find that every single one of those instructions had become obsolete or been proven incorrect. As the days progressed, she began to vomit excessively, unable to even keep water down. The fever continued. By that point, I began to hear reports from friends and colleagues on the front lines about younger patients presenting with GI or other atypical symptoms, and the daily reports I received from my mother had me more and more concerned. Friday the 20th, I contacted the DOH again. The hold time was 100 minutes. I described her symptoms, and this time they took down her information so they could contact her with a testing site and time, advising that she must come alone so as not to expose anyone else. Saturday evening, my mother called me frantic. After vomiting all day, my sister was too weak to sit up and while she wasn’t disoriented, she was acting euphoric- that’s medical speak for “she knew who she was and where she was but sounded high as a kite”. My concerns about dehydration, lurking in the back of my mind when the vomiting began, started creeping to the forefront. I contacted several urgent cares in her neighborhood, looking for someone who could administer IV fluids and do bloodwork. The answers were all the same: urgent cares aren’t designed for isolation; they aren’t seeing anyone who is suspected COVID-19. Desperate, I reached out to friends who are active EMTs and live closer to her to see if anyone could evaluate her. In full isolation gear, a friend went over to see her. “Look, she’s sick. She’s really sick,” he told me. “Any other time, any other virus, she probably would be hospitalized. But this time, she won’t be. I’ve been in the EDs, they’re overflowing. She’ll wait, and ultimately, she probably won’t get a bed. There’s just too many people sicker than her.”

Nobody slept that night. The next morning, the DOH called to give her an appointment slot the following day at a public park 18 miles away. Going alone wasn’t an option anymore, she could barely sit up let alone drive. So, Monday morning my mother packed her, a blanket, and a bottle of Powerade, into the car and made the trip up to what I now refer to as their “black ops testing experience”. At the entrance to the park, they were stopped by the National Guard, in uniform, with yellow safety vests and surgical masks. “Hold your ID up to the window- DO NOT OPEN YOUR WINDOWS,” the soldier shouted at them. Their appointment was verified, and they were directed to drive up to a testing tent. The nurse at the tent shouted through her mask and the sealed window. “Since you’re here and exposed, you’re getting tested too,” she called out to my mother. “Tilt your heads back, open the window and please, please, don’t cough or sneeze on me.” They had their noses swabbed and were cleared to leave. That was when it started to snow. Can’t make this stuff up. Twice, they pulled over for her to kneel in the slush on the side of the highway and vomit.

Then came the long anxious wait for results. With the amount of testing done daily, I wasn’t surprised at all that the timeline they gave us was behind by a day or two. On Thursday, my mother’s temperature creeped just above normal and she started complaining about ear pain. She called her primary doctor’s office, who gave her a mask and saw her in a tent in their parking lot. Once again, rapid strep and flu are negative. They prescribed antibiotics “just in case.” She asked me what I thought. Well, it’s been three days, maybe give it one more day to see how your viral culture comes back? On Friday afternoon, March 27, the DOH called, they both tested positive. Two weeks of quarantine from the date of testing for anyone in the house, and anyone sick must be symptom free for 72 hours, even if that’s longer than 14 days. Now my brother, the last man standing in the house, who had been picking up the groceries, dropping food off on my grandmother’s doorstep, has become Typhoid Mary (I educated my entire extended family on her life story, side bar, a very relevant reference to the asymptomatic carriers of this virus. Although she probably didn’t wash her hands…. I digress).

By that point, I think I would have been more surprised if they tested negative instead of positive. But my anxiety about my mother skyrocketed. I fretted and checked in with her daily. By sometime around the 30th, my sister was strong enough to care for herself, and by the end of that week she was feeling well. My mother’s temperature climbed, she developed a cough, but luckily, surprisingly, she bounced back faster than my young healthy sister, and seems well on her way to recovery as well. I hear my brother built a firepit in the backyard and repainted the dining room ceiling.

As this global health emergency evolves, I’ve developed a mantra: “We don’t know yet.” As my family’s token healthcare provider, with experience as an EMT as well as laboratory, in the scramble to gather information and understand this health crisis, I’ve repeated to them more times than I can count, “we just don’t know yet.” And perhaps for me that’s the biggest emotional challenge. I’m a healthcare provider, I’m a doer, I’m used to jumping in and caring for my family when they’re in need, and in this era, there’s nothing I can do but monitor and advise from a distance. I’m avidly reading studies as they get published, I’ve given my family crash courses in interpreting data and checking sources to try and make sense of the information overload. (For those interested, if you hear about a “miracle solution”, read the information carefully. Was the study published by a credible medical site/journal, or was it “published” to YouTube or the media? What was the sample size- how many people were in the study? Who was excluded and why? If people got better, what’s the likelihood that they would have recovered without intervention?)

A Note from Michael Werner, MD, Medical Director at Maze Health

In this time of fear and uncertainty, it’s important to share information such as this so we can all better understand the severity of this pandemic and its effects on individuals and our communities. At Maze, we are diligently practicing social distancing by remaining open on a very limited basis.  We are seeing existing patients with only a practitioner and one patient in the office at a time and our laboratory remains open for emergency sperm cryopreservation (for patients about to undergo chemotherapy etc.).  Simultaneously, we are doing our best to serve our patients via telehealth services. If you need assistance, please contact us. We’re here to help.

  The post COVID-19: My family’s experience appeared first on Treating Vaginismus, Low Sex Drive, Hormone Imbalances | Sexual Health Experts.

COVID-19: My family’s experience published first on https://spanishflyhealth.tumblr.com/

[stxrrywildflower]

hypothermia

pairing - spencer reid x reader

summary - you and derek go to extreme lengths to save a victim

warnings - injury, mentions of case, cursing

word count - ?

cold.

all you felt was cold.

you could barely remember where you were or what had happened.

your senses felt frozen.

all you could manage to do was shut your eyes.

___

the team arrived in portland, oregon a few days prior.

it was march, meaning the temperatures barely passed the the mid-fifties at the high, and dropped extremely low during the night. even snow fell on the ground as you landed, resulting in everyone on the team adding an extra layer or two.

the unsub was killing women and disposing of their bodies on the streets lining the beaches. it was becoming extremely difficult to narrow the suspect pool down, due to the large population.

hotch ordered you and spencer to go to the morgue and look at the previous victims to find out what you could.

“he must have some sort of emotional tie to to the ocean. it would explain why the unsub chooses that location,” spencer spoke from the passenger seat.

you nodded, “possible grew up on the coast or maybe even lost someone to drowning.”

upon arrival at the morgue, the two of you made your way inside. you both greeted the coroner before grabbing gloves. as you moved around the victims bodies, spencer talked to the man about what he could figure out.

“they’re not drowned. there’s a puncture wound in her foot, probobly died from a heart attack,” you concluded.

with that, you and spencer returned to the police station to alert your team about what you had discovered. while walking towards the doors, the wind picked up causing you to hug your jacket a little tighter. spencer pulled you closer to him to keep you warm.

the next four days were agonizingly slow. another body had been found, but it had the exact same marks as the others with nothing different. if anything, it slowed your investigation down rather than help you.

the team worked long hours, desperate to find a lead. and finally, after those four days, they found one.

hotch sent you and morgan to investigate the suspects house that night. it was dark and very cold. upon arrival, you found it was empty. but with further investigation, you two concluded that this defiantly was your guy.

pictures and articles on these women were pinned on the walls as well as an article about a little boy drowning in a riptide a month or so ago.

“stresser,” you informed morgan.

as you two were walking out of the house, a red car sped out of the garage of the house and down the road. you managed to catch a glimpse of the driver and passenger; it was the unsub and his current victim. thankfully, she was alive.

morgan jumped into the drivers seat as you got into the passengers seat. he sped off, following the car the best he could. at one point, due to the darkness and wind, you lost the car.

however, a few moments later, after driving around, you saw the red care carelessly parked on the side of the road. the unsub was dragging the girl, who was gagged and tied at her wrists and ankles, towards the end of the pier.

“unsub located, he has a girl with him. location is the pier just off of south street,” you spoke into your communication system.

you and morgan slowly stepped out of the car and took a step towards the unsub who had a sly grin on his face. he held an automatic rifle which was pointed at the girls head.

“morgan she has weights on her,” you informed your fellow agent.

“you don’t have to do this man!” morgan shouted, “just let the girl go. we can tell the judge you cooperated. let her go.”

the next moments happened all so quickly. the unsub pushed the girl off of the pier into the water. due to the weights attached, she slowly began to sink to the bottom. the man then pointed his gun at morgan. you fired a shot, killing him instantly. you and derek shared a quick look before taking off sprinting off of the pier and diving into the water.

the team arrived just in time to see you and morgan go under. rossi and emily went over to the unsub, checking his pulse before concluding him to be dead. the rest of the team stayed on the beach, narrowing their eyes at the water, no sign of you or morgan anywhere.

after hitting the water, your entire body tensed up. the water couldn’t have been more than 35-40 degrees. you managed to pry your eyes open, just enough to see the light from derek’s flashlight.

the water was pitch black and you needed to find the girl. you were both loosing oxygen quickly and no doubt the victim was too.

after then more seconds of desperately searching, you saw the woman floating towards the bottom of the water. as quickly as you could, you grabbed your pocket knife and sliced the ropes. the process was painfully slow, and with each moment, you felt yourself in more and more pain.

finally, the ropes fell and you took one arm while derek took the other. after pushing off the ocean floor, you made it to the surface, gasping for air. you used your spare hand to push back your hair as you frantically looked around.

in the distance, you could make out your team as well as the police standing on the beach. your whole body was shaking as you couldn’t believe how far out you were. slowly but surely, you began to swim towards the mainland.

in your mind, the process seemed to take forever. your boots finally made contact with the sand, allowing for you to stand up. you and morgan hauled the victim onto the sand where the emt’s were waiting.

you and derek, however, seemed locked in place, still standing waist deep in painfully cold water. spencer was helping the emt’s after orders from hotch but looked over when he heard a large splash. his head turned just in time to witness morgan collapsing, just after you went down. thankfully, emily and hotch were there to catch you both.

“w-who are you. where a-am i,” you spoke shakily, mind incredibly fuzzy.

the pain began to increase throughout your body, but it seemed to attack your head the most. after your legs went out, your arms were next. they were holding emily’s arms but then dropped. your head rolled to the side. upon looking at hotch, derek was having the same results.

“medics!” hotch shouted.

“hey y/n, i need you to stay awake. keep those eyes open. come on y/n, please,” the woman who you couldn’t quite remember in front of you pleaded. the next few moments were a blur as you couldn’t follow her demands and instead shut your eyes.

once the second wave of emt’s arrived, you and morgan were quickly loaded onto stretcher’s and rushed to the hospital. the team stood on the beach, still processing what happened. hotch and emily were starting to feel a little sick from entering the water to help their team.

“i know we all want to get to the hospital but it’s already late. everyone go back to the hotel and get changed and we can go to the hospital afterwards,” hotch spoke to his team.

as everyone began to walk back to to the car, spencer stopped, tapping his hands against his leg as he looked at the ocean. j.j. noticed this and made her way over, placing her hand softly on his shoulder.

“talk to me,” j.j. spoke with a calm tone.

“hypothermia is one of the most dangerous medical conditions out there. your body literally shuts down after being in the water for only a few minutes. but y/n and morgan were in the water for a long time. i’m just so worried,” spencer struggled to get out.

for a genius who knew so much, he had run out of things to say.

“spence, the doctors are going to do everything in their power to help them. you have every right to be worried. derek is your best friend, besides me of course,” j.j. joked, causing spence to smile slightly, “and to state the obvious, you’re so in love with y/n. you two have known each other for practically forever and she’s your girlfriend, of course you’re going to be worried. but for now, all we can do is go back to the hotel and then the hospital.”

he nodded slightly before allowing j.j. to lead him to the car and to the hotel.

spencer changed into a comfortable button up with a sweater overtop before meeting the team back in the lobby. everyone made sure to bundle up, especially after the situation with you and morgan, before they made their way to the hospital.

after using his status as an fbi agent for a little leverage, hotch managed to get the nurse to give them some information. you and morgan were currently in the icu but that’s all they received. the nurse permitted two members of the team to stay overnight while everyone could return the following morning. at that point, full medical information could be released.

spencer was as easy first choice. j.j. was nominated to be second. she was the closest with spencer and would be the best moral support. the team echoed their goodbyes to the two before promising to be there tomorrow morning right when opening hours started.

the two were led to an area where they could sit and rest for the night. it wasn’t outside of yours our derek’s room which wasn’t ideal, but spencer and j.j. accepted it. the two collapsed into the chairs, each pulling a blanket over themselves before slowly drifting to sleep.

the following morning, the team re-grouped in the waiting room of the hospital. surprisingly, spencer and j.j. had managed to get an actual good night of sleep.

“i can take you to agent y/n and morgan’s took where a doctor while then brief you,” the nurse told the group.

they were lead to a different floor and down the hallway. the nurse motioned for chairs to sit in while she went to go get the doctor later. a moment later, another women appeared in front of them, introducing herself.

“first of all, agent y/n and morgan will be okay,” the doctor spoke causing a relived sigh to echo through the hallway, “but, both have sustained serious injuries. hypothermia is the obvious one. y/n and derek were in the freezing water for an extremely long time causing their bodies to almost shut down completely. i’ve never seen two patients cases mirror each other but y/n and derek’s do. y/n’s heart stopped for a quick few seconds but quickly started beating again. moments later, derek’s stopped also. thankfully, both are hooked up to iv’s and are recovering nicely. the only problem is, it may take awhile for the two to wake up. they really should have died, and i am unsure how they’re still okay. without their selfless efforts, the woman who is now in recovery would be dead. so i wanted to thank your team for their actions.”

the team processed the doctors words. “can we see them?” emily asked. “yes of course, we put them both in one of the larger rooms. it’s room number 503, three doors down on the left,” with one more smile, the doctor then left.

entering the hospital room, the team paused. you both had thick blankets covering your bodies, a slight buzz sounding from the electric heater inside. spencer looked at you first. your lips were still a slight shade of blue and your fingertips had a few black marks on them. derek was the exact same.

spencer teared up at the sight of the two of you. he collapsed in a chair by your bedside first. he pressed his lips together and rubbed his temple. all the team could do was wait for you two to wake up.

a week later, at around 10pm, derek woke up. the room was dark and the hallway lights were dim, as it was past visiting hours. he went to sit up but his muscles were weak. it took a large effort to move his hand to the ‘call nurse’ button. after pressing it, he moved his head to the side where you were still laying. a few moments later, a nurse entered the room. “good to see you awake agent morgan, how are you feeling?”

“not great. what happened?” derek asked.

“you and agent y/n went into the freezing ocean to save one of the victims. luckily, she has since been released. for the two of you, your hearts both stopped momentarily as a side effect of the hypothermia. but, with lots of rest and recovery, you two should be fine.”

derek nodded to the nurses words before leanining back into the hospital bed.

at close to 4am, you woke up. you felt the same way as derek did but managed to move your head to the side. derek was sitting up, looking at some magazine the nurse must have given him.

“hey kid,” derek spoke softly.

you moved your hand up to your head. “remind me to not go swimming ever again during the winter,” you first spoke resulting in derek to laugh. soon after, a nurse came in, checking over you first before changing the iv’s. “your team should be here in a few hours, they’ve visited everyday,” the nurse told you with a smile.

true to her word, once visiting hours, you heard talking from outside of your room. the doors opened seconds later. spencer immediately rushed to your bedside, hugging you softly as you did your best to return it.

“you’re amazing,” spencer spoke before cupping your cheeks and kissing you softly.

the two of you stopped when morgan called over, “hey lover boy, no hello to me?” loud laughs echoed through the hospital room as relief washed over the team that you two were okay.

[stxrrywildflower]

weary

pairing - aaron hotchner x reader

summary - the reaper goes after you instead of haley

warning - gunshots, blood, cursing, injuries in general

word count - ?

you stood in hotch’s house. you agreed to babysit jack while hotch was at the office. haley had taken a break and asked if you would watch jack while she stayed home by herself for while. you didn’t blame her, the foyet situation changed her. you, however, you still had to be under the care of a marshall for extra protection. you had an hour to yourself with jack before the marshall would be there.

exactly an hour later, you heard a knock on the front door. you left jack with his toys in the living room before going to answer the door. man in unifrom with short grey hair was on the other side.

“y/n y/l/n? i’m the marshall assigned to protect you and little jack,” he spoke flashing a smile as well as his badge. you opened the door a little more, motioning for him to come in. “please after you,” the marshall spoke.

you turned around with the intent of going back to the living room. you couldn’t have made more than five steps before you felt a jab in or back. you identified that as a gun. “don’t move,” he growled in your ear.

the unknown man then led you into the living room and sat across from jack. you knew that if you tried anything he would kill you and then jack. suddenly, the phone rang. the man motioned for you to answer it on speaker.

“hi aaron,” you greeted, trying not to show the shakiness in your voice.

“y/n what’s wrong?” your boyfriend asked.

“nothing,” you replied, glancing over to the man to make sure you were saying the right things before continuing. “so what’s going on?” you added.

“i called to warn you about foyet. we’re on our way to haley’s but i need you to be careful. the marshall should be arriving any minute,” aaron rushed out.

you glanced over to the man and everything clicked. you had just let foyet in your home without even knowing. the words ‘act confused’ were then mouthed to you by the killer.

“aaron i don’t understand, the marshall already arrived,” you rushed out. that must have been the wrong words to say because foyet stood up suddenly and punched you in the nose. thankfully jack was looking away.

“hello aaron, i’m willing to give you a minute to call your analyst and get your team on the call. i want as many people present as possible,” foyet spoke into the phone after taking it from you.

aaron felt like his world was crashing down. his face paled and his knuckles gripped the steering wheel. he dialed garcia and quickly explained the situation. the team then went on the call as well. however, everyone was still incredibly far out from the house and no one knew just what foyet’s true intentions were.

“i need one unit to haley’s, send everyone else to my house, now!” hotch ordered his teammates.

foyet took the phone and began slowly walking around the living room, glancing at the things on the shelves. you took that time to kneel down next to jack.

“hey buddy, remember when we play hide and seek with your dad?” you asked the small boy. “well we’re going to play right now. i need you to go upstairs and find the best hiding spot as quickly as you can. stay there until either your dad or one of your aunts or uncles finds you, okay? can you do that for me?” you asked. the simplicity in your voice made you tear up. jack nodded. you pulled him into a hug, kissing him on the forehead and sending him out of the room.

finally, you heard hotch’s voice back on the phone. foyet handed it to you, gun aimed at your head. “y/n you there? we’re on our way. show no fear. no emotion, it’s what he wants,” aaron’s voice echoed through the speaker.

you nodded along to his words before foyet spoke up. “it’s a real shame, huh aaron. haley didn’t know that, i’m surprised. it’s ashame she’s already dead. screamed for her life,” the killer taunted. tears now streamed down your face but you were determined to kee a straight face. haley was dead? you wiped the tears away quickly.

foyet gave you the phone, motioning for you to speak. “i love you aaron. i love you and jack so much,” was all you said. if this was your final moments, you wanted your boyfriend to know everything you felt.

“i love you more y/n. you’re incredibly strong, stronger than i ever was. i need you to fight for this. fight for jack, for us. can you do that, love?” aaron asked. “i can,” you replied softly.

“you’ll hurry right?” you choked out.

aaron didn’t respond to that but instead went onto say something different, “i know you didn’t sign on for this.” you sighed and wiped away more tears. “neither did you.”

“i will be there soon y/n, i promise,” aaron assured you. “promise me something first. promise me that you will take more time for jack. raise him and tell him who his parents were. he needs to know how strong his mom and dad were. i know i’ll never be his mom but i love him like my own. please aaron,” you pleaded.

“i promise,” hotch replied. foyet ripped the phone out of your hand and tossed it on the couch. the gun was now pressed up against your neck.

nothing more was said. one minute you felt nothing but fear, the next all you felt was pain. the main areas were your neck, leg, and torso. you couldn’t have remained awake for more than a few seconds before you passed out, hitting the ground hard.

on the other end all that was heard was gunshots. hotch threw his phone at the dashboard, not caring if it broke or not. hot tears welled up in his eyes and slowly spilled down his cheeks. for the rest of the team, they were mainly in shock at what had happened.

ten minutes later, the team arrived at the house. aaron was out of the car first, adrenaline and anger coursing through him. morgan and rossi were only a few minutes behind. once opening the door, hotch saw foyet sitting on the stairs, drink in hand. and in that moment he didn’t care about the repercussions he would face.

hotch stormed to him, punching him hard in the face, punching him practically to death. hotch stood over the killer, rage in his eyes. foyet’s eyes opened slightly. “i still win aaron. you have nothing left,” he practically grinned. hotch looked down to see that foyet had stabbed himself prior. hotch couldn’t even kill him. hotch grimaced and once again went back to attacking foyet. he didn’t stop until morgan pulled him off.

rossi, on the other hand, rushed towards your body. he knelt down and checked for a pulse first and foremost, just to be sure. “hotch! get the paramedics, she’s still breathing!” rossi shouted. emily, reid, and j.j. were next in the house, paramedics following them. the emt’s rushed over to your injured body and immediately put you on a stretcher. just as you were rushed out of the home, hotch had been there to see just what had happened.

“she’s still alive, paramedics are taking her to the hospital right now,” emily informed her boss. “jack’s still here,” hotch realized. the team rushed up the stairs and began searching each room. hotch then remembered one of the hiding spots jack liked. it was a chest in the guest room that held extra blankets. there was enough room at the top for him to fit.

hotch quickly moved and opened the chest. inside, thankfully, was his son. “i’ve got him!” hotch shouted initially. he then lifted jack out of the box and hugged him tightly. “are you alright buddy,” hotch asked. the young boy nodded. “y/n kept me safe. she warned me to go hide,” jack revealed. with that, hotch hugged his son again, knowing that he was potentially all he had left.

“j.j., do you mind taking jack downstairs. i need to talk to emily and reid.” j.j. nodded and picked up the small boy before descending the stairs and into the back room, away from the crime scene.

“haley?” was all hotch asked. reid and emily’s faces turned grim. “she was shot in her home. i’m sorry hotch,” emily informed him. “can you call jessica. she needs to know.”

the rest of the team decided to give hotch a moment alone. his ex wife was just murdered and you potentially had the same fate.

___

you woke up a week later. thankfully, your leg wound wasn’t very serious but your neck and torso were another story. the bullet in your chest had punctured your lung and was centimeters away from your hear. your neck wound almost paralyzed you for good. the doctors had managed to prevent both of those.

the first emotion you felt was fear with the thoughts of what had happened rushing back to you. was jack okay? you had sent him to hide so the reapers focus was only on your. minutes after you woke up, a doctor came into see you. standerd checks flew by as well as an update on your injuries.

“you do have a few people requesting to see you. i believe aaron hotchner is up first,” the doctor informed you. “you can send him in,” you replied, voice incredibly raspy. the doctor left and moments later, the door opened to reveal your boyfriend aaron.

no words were exchanged as he rushed over, pulling you into a tight hug. “i’m so sorry,” he mumbled. “aaron-” you started but were cut off.

“please just let me say something first. i’m so sorry. we were so sure foyet was with haley and didn’t account for him having a marshall badge. i should have been there to protect you and jack. i love you both so much. and i’m just willing to start over. i’ll quit my job if i have to. i just need you in my life and i can’t loose you too,” aaron rushed out. tears welled up in both of your eyes. you pulled him into another tight hug, squeezing your eyes shut as you buried your head into your shoulder.

“we’ll start over. you, me, and jack. don’t quit your job though, being around more people who love you as much as i do is good for you,” you spoke. aaron smiled before leaning in and kissing softly. a knock on the door broke you out of your moment.

“i’m really sorry to interrupt. hotch, jack has been asking for you. can i bring him in?” j.j. asked. you shot her a warm smile which she returned, knowing you would see her later. the team had agreed to see you after you were done with hotch and jack. a moment later, jack, still holding j.j’s hand, appeared at the door. oncer seeing his father and you, he instantly ran over. aaron leaned down and picked up his son, placing him on your left side, careful of your bullet would on your right.

“hi jack,” you greeted the young boy. “what’s going on? is mom okay?” jack asked. the tone of the boys voice broke your heart. you looked at aaron with desperate eyes.

“hey bud, things are going to change a lot. but the plan right now is to start over, the three of us. does that sound good?” aaron asked using his dad tone.

jack looked between your and aaron. he nodded before smiling and leaning further into your side. you and aaron made eye contact, you too smiling at each other.

it was going to take a lot to heal what had happened both physically and mentally. but you were confident that with aaron and the team’s help, you were sure to be fine.