#in some ways the recovery of some of ky my ability and mobility snd strength makes the pain worse because of the training montage factor

[pinehutch]

In 2018 I fell down some stairs and severely sprained my right ankle and moderately sprained the left one. Didn't rest long enough . Physio. Recovery took a long time and only ever got me back to maybe 80%? I walked less.

Eleven months later, in 2019, I fell down the same stairs (I was going out to buy some shoes with more ankle support obviously) and severely sprained my left ankle and moderately sprained the right one. More physio, eventually. But I walked less.

Nine months later it was March 2020 and we were in first lockdown for ages. I didn't leave my town at all until the next October. I was afraid of crossing paths with people in parks. My immunocompromised (RA) ass hardly went into the office at all for the better part of three years. I walked less.

Last February, I started a sick leave because my mental health was the worst it's ever been in my life. I spent days and days crying. I had to trick myself into eating with prepared foods and snacks. I slept not at all or, after a change in meds, for 16+ hours per day. Needless to say, I walked very little indeed. I started a gradual return to work in June, half days from home.

Last August, I had a super enormous arthritis flare and my knees, especially the left one but actually both of them, were fucked. I couldn't walk without a crutch or cane for several months, and when I say "walk" I mean "even for just a few feet." I walked less.

I've been diligent with physio this time and I can walk for about five minutes without a cane. But the factors that made me extra sedentary all fall and winter, combined with a desk job, mean that my legs and hip muscles are all fucked up. The piriformis is my enemy. I just got a Charley horse so bad that I yelled; I was lying in bed on my stomach, gently flexing my legs at the knee. This is after massage therapy this afternoon and a muscle relaxer before bed.

So anyway it's actually kind of horrifying to watch yourself become progressively more disabled from the feet up over such a long period of time that you forget what it was like before that. It's worrisome that first ankles then knees and now hips and nothing has recovered all the way.

And the weirdest part is that I'm generally feeling better than I have in well over a year. Which means, I think, that 2024 is the year of. pine's incredibly gradual training montage.