#in times like these i draw strength from the willpower of older generations

[zerodaryls]

"how are we going so backwards with queer/trans rights in the u.s. these days?"

i keep finding myself falling into this mindset.

but the truth is, we haven't been going forwards for very long.

marriage equality wasn't a thing in the u.s. until 2015.

i was already 2 years outta high school.

hell, the stonewall riots were only just in 1969.

there are people still alive today who were alive during the riots.

the hiv/aids epidemic was at its height in the 80s-early 90s.

my own parents were in high school/college during that time. i was born in '95.

my ex-uncle was a gay guy who was being "counseled" by my religious grandmother who set him up with my aunt so he could stop being gay. needless to say, it didn't work. this was in the mid-90s. i was alive when this happened.

when i was in middle school, it was Big School Gossip that our music teacher was gay. this wasn't even two decades ago.

when i was in high school, it was Big School Gossip that our art teacher was a lesbian. this was barely over a decade ago.

caitlyn jenner came out as trans in 2015. (i know, but it's an important moment in recent trans history.)

i remember seeing tabloids in grocery stores for several years up until that point, photos of her on the cover spreading the "shocking" idea that she could be "a Transgender". people making jokes about her. pitying her family.

when i came out as trans/nonbinary, i was privileged to be living in california, where my legal and medical transition was (fairly) easily accessible (and i'm sure my being white, middle-class, and able-bodied helped in that area).

but there were still roadblocks.

they still forced me to be "examined" by a doctor to make sure my genitals were in order before he'd sign my gender change form. (a completely pointless legal requirement that accomplished nothing but make both of us uncomfortable.)

this wasn't even a decade ago.

i'm 28.

seeing queer and trans people living out loud is largely a New Thing for the general public.

being safe to walk around in rainbows and pride pins is a New Thing in the u.s. (and not even true for all parts of the u.s.!)

acceptance of queer and trans folks is still new. still uncomfortable for many cishets, even some of those who consider themselves Allies.

there have always been queer and trans people.

there have always been queer and trans allies.

but our rights, our acceptance, our place in society has always been a battle.

the battle didn't end in 2015.

"how are we going backward all of a sudden??"

there's nothing sudden about it.

bigots have been pushing back against our progress from the get-go.

they're raising younger bigots, and they're doing all they can to limit our ability to speak up and call for continued progress.

we aren't even a decade into marriage equality in the us.

there's nothing sudden about the shift away from our rights and wellbeing.

to my fellow younger millennials and gen z folks: we're lucky to have been alive at a time where such progress has been made.

but the ugly battles of earlier generations are not behind us.

it's fucking terrifying, but i think we really need to be prepared to face some truly ugly shit in the coming years.

we need to empower ourselves and each other.

those who came before us (and are still here, by the way! the queer population doesn't end at 30, holy fuck!) found community, banded together, and lifted each other up even when the future was bleak.

listen to them.

listen to each other.

and don't for one second give up hope for a brighter future.

that's what bigots want.

do we give bigots what they want in this house?

[iammythmaker]

This raw piece of the last chapter of My fiction. However, I am not sure that I will live to see the end of this fiction (Joyful and sad cries help me to survive the crisis of creativity). Suddenly, there were already more than 10 chapters, although I had planned 5.

Let him be here, so as not to forget. At the same time, practice for English.

"They lay for so long, hugging and caressing each other: talking about the past and the present.

« It was very funny to watch: Mirria and Erzan were hanging around each other until Erend locked them in the same room, demanding to find out the relationship. Remember?»

“You can't forget that.” Kotallo snorted, rubbing his aching shoulder. - I still remember this strange wedding according to the traditions of Oseram.

Aloy took a sip from the flask, squinting her visually impaired eyes.

“Erend's son turned out to be very lively and managed to withstand the temper of our daughter.”

The former Chief chuckled, gently teasing:

“Who would have thought that a daughter with your character would be able to withstand someone.”

“Marshal.”

“Still a marshal for the Chief's wife.” Kotallo chided.

Instead of words, she kissed him, purring like a girl.

This movement took more of her strength than she had expected.

Aloy lifted her arm heavily, examining the tattoo encircling her wrist: two graceful lines, continuously following in the wake. Made the day after their Rite, the paths followed the lines on Kotallo's wrist.

“Do you know what I've never regretted?”

Now she spoke softly and hoarsely. He could hear her breathing getting restless from the long speech. But asking her to rest was pointless. Instead, he pressed her closer with his hand, trying not to hurt her. It was unfair and strange. He was older than her, but he felt how her time was unbearably ending, and his was still beating, measuring out an even rhythm.

"Tell me, little Huntress.”

“Little Huntress… I love it so much..." she chuckled hoarsely. "You know, I've never regretted meeting you. As if it's a reward for my life as an outcast.”

“I do not know what I did in my previous life, but I am happy that you reciprocated me, little Huntress.”

She coughed convulsively and painfully, and Kotallo pressed her closer to him, trying to restrain her attack.

“What do you think ...” He wanted to distract her and stop this strange feeling of time. "Will Morren be a good leader for Tenakth?"

“He has no choice.” She gently moved her fingertips over his chest, drawing tattoos for memory, tiredly settling into the crook of his shoulder. "He's your son, after all. And his character is more reasonable and calm. In this he is very similar to you, my love. Kotallo…”

“Yes, my wife?”

She paused before wearily whispering, and shrinking:

“I'm tired. My love... will you stay by my side while I sleep?”

“As always, my love.”

Kotallo hugged her until the breath of the once red-haired woman turned into a barely audible whisper. His chest ached and tore, from awareness and helplessness. The disease that was sharpening her from the inside was gaining the upper hand.

He did not close his eyes while he cherished her in his arms, trying to ease the last hours of her life.

By dawn, her breathing had stopped, dying out in the curve of his neck.

And with her, the whole world has lost all its colors. He lay with her until dawn, trying to save and preserve the last remnants of her warmth, struggling with the pain. In the end, his tears rolled down her dry, wrinkled cheeks, falling on her gray, with rare bloody strands of hair.

But he was glad she left earlier. He wouldn't have been able to leave her alone, alone with the pain.

It took all his willpower to whisper in a sad, tired voice:

“Sleep well, Commander…”

He needed to inform his children, grandchildren and friends. But for now, he could afford to be alone with her. One last look at her beautiful face. A soft smile of generous lips. His heart and soul died with her."

[vampiresuns]

Aelius Anatole Radošević De Silva

Anatole has changed a bit as a character since i was around the first time, so he’s getting re introduced. His open to make friends.

art by @elizastarkart​

Name: Aelius Anatole Radoševic De Silva. He has two surnames because his mother is latina. He is a mixed Latine-Slav, with family that is all latine, vesuvian, and slavic. People he’s friend’s with call him Anatole (russian/greek pronunciation, he doesn’t acknowledge the French one). Only people he has a strictly professional relationship with, and his uncle call him Aelius.

‘Aelius’ means sun, while ‘Anatole’ means sunrise. He’s fully aware of this, he chose his name himself.

His nicknames are:

‘Nana’ is the most common nickname, and the one most people use.

His mother calls him Lilito, Nana, Nanito, Toly, Tolito, Tortolito.

His father calls him Lily or Lilu.

Toly, Tolytoly or Tolito are nicknames used by his maternal grandmother, his aunt, and his Vesuvian family.

He will not mind if you want to call him Toly, but you cannot call him Lily/Lilu if you’re not his father.

Asra came up with Nanatole, which he doesn’t like but lets Asra call him anyway. Asra also came up with Nana Banana and that is absolutely forbidden.

Family: on his father’s side both the Radošević, who are slavic (yugoslavic, specifically), and the Cassano, a prominent Vesuvian family who has had a hold of the Consulship for years.

On his mother side, the De Silva.

His father’s name is Vladislav, but everyone calls him Vlad, he’s an alchemist, a polymath, and works in what is most similar to biochemical engineering. He has one bother, named Valeriy, who you, however, might now as Valerius. Vlad’s biggest personality trait is being head over heels in love with his wife, and adoring his son more than he thought it was humanly possible to care about someone.

His mother’s name is Louisa De Silva (if you want to add her mother’s surname, it’s Lascal). The L-o-u spelling was a registry mistake she never changed. She moved half across the world while her native country suffer a military-civilian dictatorship to study Medicine. She swore never to go back as long as vestiges of said dictatorship remained in the country. She has two sisters: Paris, who lives in Vesuvia, and Alma, who remained with her parents out of her own choosing. Her medical experience include having been a volunteer war doctor. She didn’t change her surname when she got married.

The Radošević (pronounced Radozheveech) and the Cassano have been entangled families by friendship for generations upon generations, with some marriages between them. Notoriously: Vlad and Val’s father married a Cassano, Matilda, and his bother Mircea, Anatole’s great uncle, also married a Cassano: Florentino. Mircea’s brother and Matilda Cassano died when Vlad and Val were children still, so him and Florentino brought them up.

The Radošević are an overall eccentric family (think the european Addams family), whom are noted for: one, their self-sufficiency/self-preservation, which comes out in a very ‘eccentric people of the world unite’ manner. They appreciate people with character. Two, their leanings towards trades/professions, they do not conceive not doing anything (work hard to play hard). The Cassano, while sharing the quirk, they add the zest for life. It’s like they grabbed the Radošević and told them “you have forgotten how to live and we will remind you how.” Both of them are ridden with racially ambiguous bastard you cannot kill in any way that matters. They simply refuse to. Someone (either the courtiers or Lucio) compared them to roaches, they took it as a compliment.

This will tell you a lot about Anatole’s character.

On a last note, Anatole’s an only child. He has a good relationship with his parents, albeit marked by a sense of distance, solely because he was privately tutored from age 15 and on, which required him to travel a fair share. He was an argumentative teenager, but always cherished whenever he could see his parents. The older he gets, the closer they all become.

Favourite Food: Cake

Favourite drink: Coffee, in general.

Favourite Flower: Iris

Birthday: Nov 1st

Age: 29 (I calculate his age as if he had been born in 1991)

Zodiac:

Sun: Scorpio

Moon: Virgo

Rising: Libra

Mercury & Mars: Scorpio

Venus: Virgo

Patron arcana: Strength & Ace of Swords

Strength

Upright: inner strength, bravery, compassion, focus, Reversed: self doubt, weakness, insecurity      

Ace of Swords

Upright: breakthrough, clarity, sharp mind, Reversed: confusion, brutality, chaos

MBTI Type: INTJ-A

Gender: Transmasculine, but Nonbinary. Uses He/Him pronouns only

Orientation: Identifies as NBLM.

LIs: Julian, Muriel, @ilyamatic​‘s Andrico, @thelazaretmakesmesad​‘s Vishal.

“The sun-like strategist with a solution for everything, and a whole lot of hope in the future.”

More details under the cut!

Physical appearance:

art by @lesbianarcana​

5′4. As you can see in the sprite down below, while he’s slim but with muscle, out of doing a moderate to high level of physical activity. The man has a nice waist and inherited his mother’s hips, which he’s very proud of. He likes his legs and his butt the most about himself

Dark brown eyes, long eyelashes. His hair is naturally black, but he dyes it blond.

Has a mole over his right eyebrow, on the left side of the bridge of his nose, and on his left jaw. He has freckles.

An horizontal scar on his nose, which he got by getting hit with a wooden scaffold square in the face. His nose wasn’t broken out of sheer dumb luck. He has a smaller cut on his cheekbone, which was done by a fencing sabre which lacked the proper tip protection/button. It was done onto him by someone else.

The nose scar is how he met Julian before the plague, as he was the doctor which cured his face.

He has several tattoos:

Right arm: A rapier on his inner forearm. Over his elbow he has a black work band, and over it the words ‘THE SUN IS MY UNDOING’ in all caps, circling his arm.

Left arm: a snake wrapped around his forearm, near to the wrist. The Odyssey quote ‘let’s have a toast to the incompetence of our enemies’ under the inner crook of his elbow, and a floral half sleeve.

Chest and Torso: AMOR OMNIA VINCIT over where his heart is supposed to be. He has laurel leaves on the base of his waist.

Legs: ‘o serpent heart hid with a flowering face‘ in his upper, inner thigh, like really up his left inner thigh. A floral anklet on his right ankle.

Languages Spoken: Too many. He speaks nine languages.

Magic Specialities: His magic is connected to both light and languages (it is a play on words with ‘logos’) so he is both adept in photokinesis — he is able to create and manipulate sources of light — and language related magic — which includes incantation and language manipulation. He learns languages as a faster rate than most people, and while he cannot speak or literally understand a language unless he learns it, his magic allows him to intuitively grasp the meaning of words that are being spoken to him.

This capacity also makes him very good at recognising hidden intentions in people. This is not an ability that he broadcasts having, and when he later succeeds Valerius as the Consul, it is something which aids his diplomatic work but he keeps private.

His words tend to carry more weight sometimes because of his magic, something which he can’t always control — it depends on many factors — so he tries to choose his words carefully and with consideration.

His familiar is a Raccoon, named Antu.

Occupation: While he did study magic and is in touch with his magic, he studied politics, diplomacy and international relations. By trade, and out of will to help people, he is a political analyst and, later in life, a Statesman.

Personality/Trivia:

Willpower or Stubbornness? Depends how you look at it. Passionate, generally devoted, hopeful, independent and sometimes defiant. He is a people-oriented introvert. Competitive, but not aggressively so.

Smarter than he gives himself credit for. Overall charming, even debonair.

Curious by nature, hates having his decisions taken for him.

He is proper, sometimes even distinguished, but he is feral. A firm believer in being kind and compassionate with people, until you cross him one too many times, then nothing will make him taint his vindictive wrath.

Is he humble? For the most part. His humbleness comes from knowing his own limits and knowing he’s not infallible. He does have, however, a good deal of pride in himself and trust in what he can do, and he doesn’t like being underestimated.

He’s not particularly loud, though when the chatterbox is on, then it is on, specially if he’s nervous. He is often never still. 

He’s known he has ADHD since he was seventeen.

Likes dancing.

He fences, almost every Radošević fences/sword fights, and he will let you know at the slightest chance. Which can be either him simply being hyper-fixated in fencing, him flirting, or him letting you know that if the occasion rises, he’s armed.

Friend shaped, lover shaped if you’re daring enough.

He wrinkles his nose when he doesn’t like something.

Speaking of which: he doesn’t like abuse of power, the Court, injustice, supremacists of any kind, unkind, hurtful and selfish people in general; he doesn’t like red meat (he says it tastes like metal or dirt), narrow minded people, incompetence, specially when displayed by people in positions of power, and purposeful apathy.

A mastermind archetype, but he draws his power from connection. He does not conceive a life not lived with others.

A bit of a bastard, he enjoys a good laugh.

He plays the piano and the harp, he sings, he cannot draw, he’s a lightweight when it comes to alcohol (which doesn’t really stop him), he likes the opera because he likes watching other people’s drama without being dragged into it, and his favourite season is winter. Also likes playing chess, reading, coffee, flowers, a well tailored outfit, learning, languages, the sea, mysteries, winter, a well laid argument, collecting quills, music, winning, knowing he loves and is loved in return.

When he was 7 he bribed his dad for more dessert, and he ate so much he vomited. His sweet tooth hasn’t gone anywhere, it is alive and well.

Perceptive little bastard, will knife cat you for the sake of it. He has a way more present sense of humour than what he comes across.

Would call himself a ‘trans masculine Mary Poppins’.

He is closest to his parents, his uncle, my other ocs Leonore, Medea and Sabine, his cousins Amparo Cassano and Milenko Radošević, Natiqa, Asra, Portia and Nadia.

If he liked women, he would be paired with Nadia. The possibility both terrifies and fascinates me.

@ilyamatic​, @viviae​, @gaybirdwrites​, @arcanaprentiss​ @apprenticeofcups​

[mangamushi]

Thoughts on Saikyou Densetsu Kurosawa

FUKUMOTO Nobuyuki, 11 volumes, published from 2003 to 2006 in Big Comic Original (Seinen)

Saikyou Densetsu Kurosawa (Legend of the strongest man Kurosawa) follows the story of 44 years old construction worker Kurosawa as he realizes he spent most of his life without any meaningful connections with anyone nor any special achievements. He decides to change his life so that he can become proud of his own accomplishments and efforts, and earn respect and appreciation from the people around him.

(spoiler warning)

So I’m currently binging Fukumoto manga, after having them on my “plan to read” list for several years…I started with Kaiji, but initially the first manga of his that caught my interest was Kurosawa. The themes of it are right up my alley, and I like main characters that are not teenagers or young adults.

Kurosawa has a sequel, Shin Kurosawa: Saikyou Densetsu, which is a direct continuation. I’ll mostly be focusing on the first part here. 

The art is typical Fukumoto style. Odd at first, definitely not the prettiest nor the most impressive out there, but it does the job and I really grew to like it. He doesn’t hesitate to give exaggerated features to his characters, and I actually find the deliberate ugliness of the character designs refreshing. It certainly fits the story of Kurosawa, makes the characters very expressive and works well with the often comedic tone. 

Although the art looks simple, Fukumoto can deliver very intense pages when he needs to. 

His forte is in his use of narration combined with the picture, rather than in the drawings alone. He is a master at using a narrator’s comments or the character’s thoughts to raise tension and make the manga flow better.

 Kurosawa is definitely written with a lot of heart. Both the manga itself and the titular character, feel very genuine. Kurosawa is very flawed and very human. He is rough but powerful, his desires are simple, and he is straightforward in his reactions, to the point that his impulsive nature and lack of social restraints put him in trouble, especially when it comes to women...

There are a few instances however where he comes close to harassing women, which is played for laugh, which I disliked. Those scenes made me less sympathetic towards him as he actually deserved the repercussions of his actions here.

But besides those chapters, Kurosawa is overall a likeable character, easy to sympathize with and to root for as we see him at a low point of his life.

He is clumsy in his interactions with his coworkers, which, coupled with his hot-temper, often leads to misunderstandings and prevents him from getting closer to them despite his best efforts. I actually found Kurosawa’s failed attempts at achieving popularity reminiscent of Watamote. The beginning of both series, in which a pathetic main character fails repetitively at gaining the appreciation of their peers through outlandish strategies, elicits the same mixture of pity, second-hand embarrassment, and amusement.

Kurosawa also gets into a fair number of fights. While those fight-focused chapters were not bad, I was personally less into them.

Drawing literal fist-fights in not what Fukumoto’s best at. His character’s postures are somewhat stiff, which he compensates for with heavy use of speed-lines. It is okay-ish, but I want read a fight scene, there’s plenty of fighting manga out there that can do a better job. 

 I like Fukumoto more when he writes more psychological battles, like in his gambling mangas. Of course, psychological elements and strategies where not totally absent from the fights, but it was nowhere as much as in his gambling manga. Sometimes I think Kurosawa was a bit too lucky in the fights, as he is not a very athletic person nor someone with a lot of experience in fighting. It did not feel very convincing to me.

Besides, it is through these battles that Kurosawa gathers allies, a reputation and respect. But most of his opponents are teenagers, even middle-schoolers ! Granted they are very scary teenagers, but I still fail to see how a 44 years old man throwing hands with teenagers is such a praise worthy thing...

 I think I prefer to see Kurosawa fight and struggle to improve his life in a less literal way that actual physical fighting.

I haven’t read that many of Fukumoto’s works yet, but I feel like an important theme in them is perseverance/resilience. He puts his characters through a lot, but they tend to have some form of resistance that shines through as admirable. Kurosawa’s will to fight and to push back against adversity is sometimes the only thing he has left, and it is extremely important.

However, that is not an innate ability that comes to him easily -at times Kurosawa hides, flees, cowers. He hesitates, and he needs to think things through before he actually decides to fight.

Fukumoto: You know how protagonists in shonen manga do things like jump in to stop their classmate from being bullied without thinking about how they might get beaten up themselves? I always felt that wasn’t real. So with Kurosawa, I wanted to make a manga that shows hesitation, and how it actually isn’t so easy to defend people like that.

(Excerpt from this interview)

I like this kind of manga where characters reflect about what is the right decision to take and on how they should be living their life. And how the reader has access to their inner turmoil and thoughts. 

 His strength is often born from sheer desperation and desire to survive. It is when he is cornered that he can manage to act and fight even when the odds are against him. He has to make do with the very few tools and options he has, which leads him to elaborate unconventional tactics to win over his opponents. 

Having cornered underdogs characters winning over more powerful, but less desperate, opponents seems like a running theme in Fukumoto’s manga (cf. the made-up E-card Game from Kaiji, in which The Slave is the only card that can win against The Emperor, precisely because it is so low that it has nothing to lose anymore).

In a way, one could argue Kurosawa follows a formula reminiscent of classic shounen manga: a character who is below average at first rises to a heroic status through willpower, effort and after fighting a string of opponents. However, there are major differences that set Kurosawa apart, besides the older characters and more adult setting (Kurosawa’s worries are grounded in reality: growing old alone, financial problems...) Kurosawa does not provide escapism and dreams. The story begins with Kurosawa as a single old man, and ends with him an even older still single man. He does not become an amazing fighter through power boost and magic training like a shounen character might.

He does want to dream big, but all things considered, his achievements are fairly modest. He is not saving the world or becoming hokage.  At most he is just helping some other marginalized people from his neighborhood.  

Even if he puts his life on the line to fight, what he accomplished will fade into oblivion at some point.

But, even so, his efforts and struggle are still admirable.

Besides, Kurosawa is not about friendship, at least not the kind of friendship you find in shounen manga.

In Fukumoto’s manga, people may stick together for survival, they can share intense emotions when put through the same ordeals, but it’ll rarely turn into true companionship. Kurosawa is alone from the start, and while he does connect with other people throughout the story, in the sequel those relationships are left behind as he leaves on his own to start a new life. 

Fukumoto: My protagonists, on the other hand, are always alone – not only do they not have followers, they don’t even have friends. (laugh) [...]  I can’t do manga where the characters readily make friends that they risk their lives for. I started out by drawing short human drama pieces, but even then – partially because I wasn’t doing long-term series, but – they weren’t generally stories about friends.

I was kind of expecting Asai, one of Kurosawa’s coworker, to have a bigger role, but that didn’t happen. (I liked the part where he tried to comfort Kurosawa after he got humiliated so I was hoping for more!)

The story isn’t very cohesive or straighforward, it just follows Kurosawa’s life, who wants to change but lacks a clearly defined goal or road to follow. There isn’t one big coherent plot, instead the story goes in different directions, shifting from one genre to another from chapter to chapter. Kurosawa even admits it himself !

The quality of the chapters and different arcs is in my opinion rather uneven. 

 There are some really powerful scenes, notably the very end of the manga which is very touching. Kurosawa successfully leads a group of homeless men to defend themselves against some delinquents who were threatening them, but as a result of his injuries, he is implied to die. (The sequel manga reveals he actually just goes into coma for 8 years). It is bittersweet ending as he finally achieved something and is surrounded by human warmth.

                  Shin Kurosawa, the sequel, is similar to the first part, though slightly more light-hearted and focused on humor (even though Kurosawa’s situation technically worsens!). It seems to be less liked than the first part for those same reasons, but I personally enjoy Fukumoto’s humor and his more slice of life-y mangas. It has many genuinely funny moments. Once in a while there are still some chapters that feel deeper/more thought provoking, as Fukumoto likes to reflect about society, life, and humanity in his stories.

For anyone looking for other manga with similar themes, I can recommend Furuya Minoru’s excellent Wanitokagegisu . Both feature very lonely adult men who wish to turn their life around, and oscillate between humor and psychological drama.

[theredhairedmonkey]

The Role of Mages in Xadia

Becoming a mage, even for an elf with a Primal Connection, is no easy task. It takes much more than just rune + draconic words to actually cast a spell. Canonically, “not everyone has a deeply cultivated understanding of their arcanum.” The level of spirituality, introspection, and sheer willpower that it takes to do magic is probably not minor, and very few people can eventually get to the point where they can cast spells.

This suggests that magehood in Xadia is a long and serious commitment. One can’t simply learn a spell or two to get them out of a pinch, but must dedicate themselves toward gaining a level of enlightenment that simply isn’t possible for most people. But to those who become mages...what do they do with their power? What role do they play in their society?

I’ll try to answer these questions with a little (or a lot) of headcanon worldbuilding. Ultimately, I think that mages represent an entire class of elves, who live and are part of the community as a whole. How they interact with other elves depends on how each type of elven society is structured, so mages work a little differently for Moonshadow, Sunfire, and Skywing elves, for example. And I think that not only explains the magic we see, but why certain non-mages, such as Runaan and Janai, have an above-average understanding of magic.

Let’s dive in!

So, Callum’s Spellbook suggests that every Moonshadow elf is potentially a warrior too. Callum writes that Rayla’s amazing fighting skills are one way to tell that she’s a Moonshadow elf. Runaan taught her how to fight as soon as she could walk.

With this information, we can figure that Rayla, and Moonshadow elves generally, don’t really have much of a choice in who they get to become, at least not early on in their lives. Everyone is trained to fight from a very young age, and after spending time as warriors, they may have the option to become something different (for instance, Ethari takes up work as a blacksmith and craftsman).

And in this society, Moon Mages play the role of community elders, much like the Druids once played for Celtic societies. Lujanne herself references the existence of Moon Druids (past or present), I’ve touched on some of the commonalities here (as did @lettersfromxadia​ here). Not much is known about the real Druids; most of what is known comes from Julius Ceasar (famously not a Druid). But what we do know is that they functioned as the wise, learned, and elder class that led the community and oversaw sacred rituals, which often were related to spirits and the divine.

The parallel here is that Moonshadow elves do indeed practice communal rituals of a similar kind. They performed rituals at the Moon Nexus, they protect the Silvergrove with a concealment spell, and even communally “ghost” certain members. The Moon Mages are likely the ones who are behind the magic seen in all of these rituals; they lead these ceremonies and perform the magic themselves.

And this may explain who gets to become Moon Mages--older, wiser elves, who survived their earlier years as warriors, and who are ready to become an important pillar of their community.

So, for example, someone like Runaan could perhaps one day become a Moon Mage.

While the other elves were busy setting up their tents or sharpening their weapons, Runaan rests in a meditative state, much like Lujanne did. He leads the assassins, and demonstrates great skill in using magical items, like the moon opal or the Shadow Hawk, knowing the draconic words for both. He’s also the one who performs the binding ritual on the eve of their mission.

Had the mission not gone sideways, he likely would have gone on to study to become a Moon Mage.

For Sunfire elves, the role that mages play is a little different. As @lettersfromxadia​ thoughtfully pointed out here, there are quite a few similarities between Sunfire culture and the ancient Aztec/Nahua culture—the role that the sun played in their religion, respect for elders, and additionally, the importance that “purification” plays in Sunfire society closely mirrors this culture.

Here, Sun Mages play more of the same role that priests did in Aztec society; they are part of the royal class, the arm of the reigning monarch. They are treated as nobles and take part in governing. It’s even suggested that they have power over the Sun Forge to conduct rituals and ceremonies.

Similar to the Moon Mages, the mages who governed the Sun Forge likely were responsible for overseeing how this magic was used, whether to create sunforged blades and other magical items, and have a somewhat religious view of their place in the world (Callum wrote that they believe their mission is to bring more light and hope into the world…whatever that may mean).

And that, I think, explains how Janai learned to channel Primal Energy into Heat-Being Mode. As a sister to the Queen, she had plenty of exposure to Sun Mages, learning from them how to cultivate her own Arcanum so as to increase her speed and strength.

But Sky Mages, I suspect, are different from the two above. For starters, a social hierarchy seems a little out of place for creatures connected to the Sky, who “prize the freedom to make their own choices in life.” So, Sky Mages might not oversee any ceremonies or rituals, like Moon and Sun Mages do. Instead, they probably serve as guides and keepers of the peace, and created a monastic order to select and train promising elves to become mages. So rather than being like druids or priests, instead they are more like...monks.

I got the impression that Sky Mages might be monks from how Ibis is depicted. He’s a liaison between dragons and elves, traveling to various communities, and occasionally visiting the Storm Spire when he thinks he is needed. Much like how monks from many different cultures wander or journey from place to place depending on who they think needs their help.

Sky Mages are still very important to their community. As I suggested before here, Skywing elves are nomads; they might have a few stable locations around the world, where weather is consistent enough for them to draw power from the sky, but they otherwise migrate. In that nomadic lifestyle, where only one-in-ten elves can fly, elves who can conjure mage wings are indispensable. They serve as navigators, explorers, and scouts, leading their people to safety and finding suitable places for them to settle for a time.

Sky Mages might also be protectors and warriors as well, fending off intruders and predators who can’t be taken down by swords or arrows. Spending most of their lives traveling would require mages like Ibis to learn how to defend themselves and their people. This might have given them a reputation for fighting (going by how excited Rayla was to see some “neat sky spells”).

Anyway, those are my ideas for what different roles mages might have in Xadia. Lemme know what you all think!

[idumean-archive]

CANON DIVERGENT MAIN VERSE.         loosely follows the canon backstory established for the SHOW, shadowhunters before diverging. full verse details & backstory under the cut.

*this section deals with Jonathan as I write him in his canon divergent main verse. here you'll find a blend of both book & show canon, as well as a heavy overlay of personal headcanon. most information can also be found in the breakdown of the sourcing for his different canons, but this section lays them out seamlessly to illustrate the muse as a whole.

like this post if you are interested in;

interacting in this verse

developing a ship in this verse

generally plotting within this verse

Jonathan Christopher Morgenstern was born to Jocelyn Fairchild & Valentine Morgenstern on April 4th. He is the older brother of Clarissa Morgenstern Clary Fairchild, though he was unaware of his younger sister until he was an adult. During Jocelyn's pregnancy, Valentine gave Jocelyn doses of Lilith's blood as part of his experiments. This meant that when he was born, Jonathan had black eyes & was eerily quiet as a small child. This horrified Jocelyn, & became something she couldn't move beyond regarding his firstborn.

After the failed Uprising, Valentine, hurt by what he perceived as an ultimate betrayal by his wife & his parabatai (Luke Graymark), took Jonathan & fled. To cover his tracks, Valentine faked their deaths by burning down the Fairchild manor with Michael Wayland & his son in their stead, along with Jocelyn's parents, Granville and Adele. Afterwards, he would go to raise Jonathan in seculsion a remote cabin in Idris. It was during this time that Valentine gave him a chemistry set & taught him the basic laws of physics. He also received his first seraph blade at the age of eight.

When he was young, he once asked Valentine about his mother. To dissuade him from asking any further, Valentine told him that his mother left because he was a monster, and that she was never coming back. Valentine furthered his psychological abuse and manipulation by telling him that no one except him will ever love a monster like him, leading to Jonathan's further psychological problems, in an effort to make him into the "monster" he would become.

During this time, Valentine hit Jonathan, lashing him in the back with a demon metal-tipped whip to remind him of the "perils of obedience," then continued to train him into a soldier fit for his plans for the Clave & the Nephilim. Jonathan was taught the necessary traits he would require someday to fulfill, which he needed to learn without experience of contact with other people besides his own father. He was also taught the skills that he would need to help Valentine bring down their adversaries.

While Jonathan was raised by his father secretly & in seclusion - cut off almost entirely from the rest of humanity - he knew of Jace & that Valentine was raising/training for the same purposes. However, unlike Jace, Jonathan was well aware of his father's plans, given almost full disclosure, & even knew when the other boy finally failed Valentine enough to prompt him to send the boy away.

Eventually Jonathan became uncontrollable in Valentine's eyes. After keeping him shackled in the basement of the cabin out of fear he himself might become the next victim of his son's violent tendencies, Valentine eventually sent him to Edom. He was greeted by Lilith, in her human form, on his arrival. She introduced herself as his mother as she felt it was her blood that made him something special, thus overriding the maternal claim of his absent human mother. She would go on to burn his skin, layer by layer. Other demons would join in on this, making him something more akin to their world as his human face was considered too beautiful for their world. She would go on to reshape him in her own image of the perfect son.

The passage of time in Edom is 120x the passage of time in the human realm, causing Jonathan to age significantly between being banished & clawing his way out. His demonic blood guards him against showing the effects of this. While in Edom, he would learn to use his demonic blood & draw from its power. He spent his years in Hell clinging to memories & hopes of freedom. His incredible willpower was the only thing that helped him retain any shred of his deteriorating humanity, thus allowing him to escape by summoning the Greater Demon Azazel out of Duduael & bargaining with him.

After escaping Edom, Jonathan had hoped his humanity & remanants of his former life would flood back into him & he was bitterly disappointed when this didn't happen. Because of his time in Edom, the cold became wholly unbearable to him. To blend in, Jonathan took the appearance & name of Sebastian Verlac, an English Shadowhunter from the Paris Institute, & used it as a glamor. His endgame was to send his father, along with the Soul Sword, to Edom as revenge for the torture he endured.

To enact his goals, he orchestrated an attack on Isabelle Lightwood by Azazel so he could plausibly bill himself as a hero & someone she could trust. He hoped this would eventually lead to him the doorsteps of the Institute, & after some time, it did with unintended side effects. The more time he spent around the other Nephilim, his long-dormant emotions begun to surface. Being at the Institute also allowed him to meet the younger sister he never knew he had, as well as his own mother, as well, though he kept his identity secret from the two of them.

Further complications came to his plan as he began to bond with Clary, helping her overcome the block preventing her from using her runic abilities. Their proximity & his distance from Edom began to trigger further change. The emotions that had felt just out of reach began to fully surface, threatening his own mental stability until he was able to find ways to cope. While he was working through all of this, he managed to win over the trust of others at the Institute & was assigned to the team hunting Valentine. After an attack on Valentine prompted the Clave to arrange for Valentine to be portaled to Idris, Jonathan hijacked the portal & took the two of them away to the remote cabin he had been raised in.

While he had Valentine captive in the cabin, he recounted his time in Edom. Unexpectedly, Valentine took the blame for everything that happened to him & told Jonathan that he grew to regret sending him away. Jonathan refused to believe him & continued to prepare for the ritual that would send Valentine and the Mortal Sword to Edom. This plan came to a grinding halt when Valentine used the Sword to prove the veracity of his statements. Feeling the splinters of emotion clawing their way to the surface, Jonathan abandoned his plan to send him to Edom for the time being & instead returned the two of them to his apartment, currently located in New York.

During his time away, Clary & Jace were made aware that the real Jonathan Christopher Morgenstern was alive & well by the angel Ithuriel, though they remained ignorant of his cover as Sebastian Verlac. Clary, Izzy, & Jace make it to the cabin only after Jonathan & Valentine have left, are able to find the journal outlining Valentine's experiments on his firstborn son as well as Jace. Unaware of Jonathan lurking under Sebastian's glamor, he helps them work towards finding the Mortal Mirror on their return to the Institute. Watching his father's methods & feeling conflicted as his returning emotions & new-found if unknowing connection to his sister, Jonathan begins to step back from is father once again.

Meanwhile, Clary & Jace have begun to suspect Sebastian could be Jonathan Morgenstern. A tense exchange with Valentine deals what would grow to become the fatal blow in the cleaving of their relationship, & Jonathan returns to the Institute. Looking through the memory box in Alec's office that had Jocelyn kept, he's caught by Max. When he hesitates just a moment too long, the boy escapes. Slipping from the Institute, he makes his way back to the apartment & makes what would become his most pivotal decision. Cutting Sebastian Verlac, who he'd kept comatose, loose, he allows the other to leave without further harm. He's still in the apartment when Jace, Izzy, & Clary arrive.

Allowing his sister to burn a truth rune into his skin, he tells them that he will officially surrender - to no less than the head of the Institute - once they've stopped Valentine. He's taken back to the Institute & locked into the cells while the others decide how to proceed. With alliances breaking down, & Valentine slipping through every precaution to leave his whereabouts unknown, there's little choice but for Jonathan to be allowed to help Jace & Clary in tracking his father through his blood & the combined strength of Jace & Clary's angelic abilities. Jonathan eventually reveals his father had once had a plan to use the Seelies to slip through the wards & head to Lake Lyn with the other two Mortal Instruments.

He remained confined to the cells under the Institute while Clary & Jace portaled to Lake Lyn to find Valentine. After the events at Lake Lyn, he was officially placed under what amounted to house arrest. He was stripped of all of his runes in the interim, & re-runed with only the barest protections as well as binding runes preventing him from leaving the confines of the Institute or touching adamas. His runes were later restored after an eleven hour interrogation by the Mortal Sword shed light on the horrors he had endured at the hands of Valentine, & the sincerity of his desire to become something better than what his father had tried to make him into.

He was allowed to return to the New York Institute with his freedom, where he still resides.

[sometipsygnostalgic]

my favourite thing about looking back at my thoughts on adventure time is looking at this fanart i did in 8th September 2012 (pretty much exactly 6 years ago!!!) when season 4 was coming to an end

and reading the justifications i made for each character’s Lantern choice: 

Finn is the Blue Lantern of Hope because, well, he's a very hopeful kid and he is the hope for Humanity itself too.

ok yeah, no shit. id say finn’s relationship with Hope takes on a more Homestucky-edge of him being Forever Alone and Depressed when he’s a bit older though.   

Peebles is the Green Lantern of Willpower because... what can I say? Her determination is INCREDIBLE! It was what beat up Ricardio the Rapist and what dragged 4 people - one being a 15ft horse - across the Ice Kingdom over 2 days. Imagine how much effort and willpower that must have required.

i think it speaks for itself how suitable “willpower” is for a trait of Princess Bubblegum   

Jake is the Indigo Lantern of Compassion because he is quite compassionate. The episode "Princess Cookie" serves as the greatest example. Unfortunately, I gave him a ring before I did my research on the Indigo Tribe, which use staffs. He is holding a HUGE BURRITO WRAP which he has just generated with the ring.

if you do a tiny bit of research on the Indigo tribe, which I did for this art ages ago but ignored because it’d ruin my drawing, you will discover that their ideas of “compassion” often involve mercy killinig. What’s hilarious about Jake is that he can go from being completely compassionate and bro-like to not giving a fuck about you or the current situation and instead focusing on a burrito. I still think this choice is valid. I also think “Hope” is valid but only if you want it to be more Homestuck than it already is, he has that sort of active imagination..... 

Marceline is a Yellow Lantern of Fear because she had the most control over Finn and Jake when they were still scared of her, and also because she holds a few fears herself.

doesn’t take a genius to realise that this still fits today. i think it’s only been since after Stakes that Marceline has moved away from being a perfectly valid Yellow Lantern and is now becoming the primary candidate for a Blue Lantern. 

Now, when thinking of the colours, I also thought about what the different colours mean to each other. Yellow is a weakness of the Green Lanterns due to Parallax, and the Yellow Lanterns are super-effective against them. This fits in pretty well metaphorically with the relationship between PB and Marceline - Marceline is a weakness, and PB is always edgy around her. Marceline is pretty much the only person we've seen so far to dig inside PB's emotional barrier and provoke her. Blue Lanterns are good allies of Green Lanterns, and Green power rings can be, I believe, empowered by blue batteries. Finn is a STRENGTH to Peebles. He helps her deal with the kingdom's less political issues and saves it all the time. They're good friends.

sometimes I still surprise myself with how in 2012 i foresaw princess bubblegum’s entire future character arc, just by watching Goliad. that was literally the only episode pushing for it.  also Princess Cookie, I guess. okay yes. that one was pretty fucking important. i still dont know how i did it though.  

bringing up marcie’s role is especially comical as it would take nearly 11 months before sky witch aired (the second bubbline-related episode).

[wrath-and-regret-blog]

Tarot Meme: Vel - The Star; Akira - The Hanged Man; Lowell - Strength; Andralena - The Chariot; Kaladin - The World or Justice; Wax - The Hierophant; Navani - Death; Gwaine - The Sun

Put a tarot card in my inbox and I'll answer the question! || ACCEPTING

                                                                         @luck-crowned​

VELKYN

The Star: If your muse had one wish, what would it be?

Vel has never really been the sort of person to wish for things. He’s more of a ‘take what you can get, roll with the punches’ sort of person, despite his pessimistic attitude. If pressed, he’d probably say that it’d be nice to say he’d wish to be a better person or something like that, but while it would be nice, it wouldn’t be true. At all. If he wished for anything, it would be for power. Not political power or anything, more along the lines of power enough to destroy anyone he wished to destroy. No matter how important they think they are or how strong they might be.

While he takes no issue in killing almost anyone who becomes his target, he does have a personal sense of justice deep deep down, although it’s more akin to vengeance, not only for himself, but for those who can’t exact vengeance on their own. Seeing people prey on the weak and defenseless has...an effect on him. It reminds him of himself before he became what he is now and he isn’t able to detach himself enough to just ignore it when he sees it happening.

So if he wished for anything, it would be for the power to fucking demolish the real monsters of the world and he’d be fully aware that one day, that would mean destroying himself as well.

AKIRA

The Hanged Man: Name a bad habit your muse can't give up.

Akira never fucking sleeps. Ever. He tires himself out so much that eventually he just drops. He’ll stay up until sunrise sometimes, running on nothing but coffee, energy drinks or sheer willpower. Once, he spent the night doing pull-ups from the rafters and ended up falling asleep curled up on the floor.

The only time he goes right to sleep is after a day in Mementos or a Palace and that’s only because Morgana won’t stop pestering him to go to bed. If left to his own devices, he finds something to do in place of sleep and soon loses track of time until he can’t even keep his eyes open anymore. The worst case of insomnia ever.

He’s also that friend who texts the others random shit at 4 in the morning like. ‘Ryuji do you think knives have feelings’, ‘draw me like one of your french girls Yusuke’ and ‘Ann how do you get your hair to do that whole curly without being a complete embarrassment thing because mine just gets worse every day’

Not a cool dude at all 0/10 Joker is a complete fucking nerd (BUT ALSO 100/10 MY CUTE CRIME-SON)

LOWELL

Strength: Name a time when your muse had to be strong in the face of danger or trouble.

Honestly, though he may not seem like it on the surface, Lowell has a lot of courage and strength. It takes an incredibly strong will to handle Soulwalking in any capacity, otherwise, the walker risks losing their mind. Apart from that, he’s in nearly constant danger from his own older brother, though that danger is far less obvious, and his constant traveling makes him an easy target for those who would like to harm the Ethleseeri royal family.

However, one of the first times was when he was around 13 years old. He had accompanied Ignace and Reinault, his older brothers, to the mountainous snowy region of Norvang, to meet with their chief in regards to an alliance between their societies. Ever since their father had fallen ill, the two oldest Ashwind boys had taken care of everything that required travel. Lowell had never been invited to join them before so he jumped at the opportunity, though looking back, it was suspicious how easily Reinault relented.

The trip was going smoothly at first. While Lowell was very interested in the peace talks and getting to know the people better, children were not allowed in the tribe’s council hall. He had to remain out in the snow, much to his frustration. However, luckily for him, the chief had two children of his own. His son, a few years older than Lowell, was almost ready for his hunt, a ceremony that proclaimed when a child was ready to become an adult but had not done it yet, and the chief’s daughter was only ten years old at the time, so the three of them were left sitting out in the cold while their families held council. There were snowball fights, new friendships and everything seemed to be turning out for the best.

Until there was a raid on the village. Among the Norvangian tribes, there are some which resent the chief’s rule and are in a constant state of conflict with other settlements. The enemy warriors descended fast and before Lowell understood what was happening, the chief’s son had grabbed a hatchet and was fending them off the best he could, ordering Lowell to protect his sister while he guarded the council hall. Lowell took the girl’s hand and ran through the snow the best he could, but the half-giant warriors of Norvang caught up with him easily. The raiders told him, in their guttural language which he had only just begun to study that he could either ‘stand aside or die’.

It was then that he had to make a decision. Did he put himself in harm’s way to protect the chief’s daughter? Or did he save his own life?

He did not move. He grabbed a fallen tree branch from the snow-covered ground and held it like he had seen his tutor, Vega, hold his bowstaff in the training gardens. It was a pathetic attempt to look threatening but he managed to hold off the attacker for the next ten seconds, giving the Norvangian chief and his son the time they needed to arrive, armed and out for blood. The attack was repelled and the Ashwinds departed from Norvang with the chief’s promise of aid whenever it was needed, offered as repayment for defending his daughter.

ANDRALENA

The Chariot: If your muse ruled the world, what would they change first?

Depending on the world, it could be a number of things. In her main verse / Dragon Age verse, it would be to abolish the stigma surrounding magic. No magic, even blood magic, is evil unless the wielder is and magical crimes should be judged the same as nonmagical crimes. Simply using a type of magic, in general, should not be considered criminal and certainly not punishable by cruelty or death. The circles would not be completely disbanded, but she would make the voluntary. Only mages who feel that they need to be in a circle will be put in them, and the chantry would no longer have control of the circles. They would be run by other mages who are capable of teaching and guiding instead of frightening and controlling.

In her Stormlight verse, she’d likely make it so that female warriors were more widely accepted. Not really changing a law or anything, but giving more opportunity to women like her. At least then someone would tell her where the damned sparring grounds are holy shit

KALADIN

The World: What has been your muse's greatest success?

This is a complicated one, considering many of his greatest failures stemmed from what he had once considered great successes. Currently, though, it would be protecting and teaching Bridge Four. He took an unruly, downtrodden group of men with no hope, facing certain death, and turned them into a family. A family that would soon become the royal guard, defying all the expectations working against them. This time, he’s really managed to change something. Managed to make it better. He’s raised these men up after the world knocked them as far down as possible. He’s still terrified that something will happen and he’ll lose everything, but for now, he can be proud of his men.

He considers them his greatest success. They deserve no less than that.

WAX

The Hierophant: What is one rule or law your muse would never break?

I mean, there are quite a few laws he wouldn’t break but not as many as you’d imagine? Considering he’s. Supposed to be a law keeper. Gunfighting is cool, trespassing is cool, destruction of property is cool...The list of things he won’t do is much shorter than the list of things he would do.

Any and all sex crimes are a resounding no, he would absolutely never do something like that, and so is theft...usually? Unless he really needs something and it’s like. Life or death. or imperative to crime solving. Also, he would never consider harming a child or killing someone for anything other than work or upholding the law. He’s not squeamish about killing, but there’s a difference between bounty hunting/justice and murder.

NAVANI

Death: If your muse had to change something about themselves, what would they change?

She would like to be more capable of understanding emotionally driven people. She sees value in logical thinking and likes that part of herself, but she would like to be able to better understand her son and people like him. Like any good mother, she doesn’t enjoy having such distance between herself and her child, but she doesn’t have the tools to understand Elhokar, much less be of any help to him. Jasnah she can handle, and even agree with in some aspects, but Elhokar...she’s at a loss and feels that her attempts to help will do nothing but frustrate the both of them.

GWAINE

The Sun: What was the happiest moment of your muse's life?

First off, this tarot is so appropriate for my boy, what a ray of sunshine.

At the risk of sounding sappy, making friends with Merlin was a very important happy moment for him. Of course, it was sandwiched in there with danger and difficulty, but it was still a very happy occasion. At that point, he had been wandering alone for so long, without family or friends or purpose; not that he’d admit to being lonely, and he probably didn’t realize just how lonely he was until realizing ‘oh. This is friendship. I’m not alone.’ There are people everywhere he goes, and he tends to get on well with them, but Merlin is the first he can actually trust and relate to and that makes him so happy, just to have that bond that he didn’t realize he’d been missing between the taverns and the brawls.

That’s also why leaving was more difficult than it had been before. Because for once, he actually had a reason to want to stay. And then once Merlin found him for another ‘let’s save Arthur’ quest, he jumped right on board because being around Merlin makes him happy even if they’re facing possible death. Fuck it, right? That’s what friends do!

[spacehamsterboo-blog]

Saturday Night Writing 6

Anna was sitting in her tent on Asmidia, her apparent homeplane if Bellugi was to be believed. She’d gone to the short dragon for clues when plumbing Onakke ruins and one day of impersonating a Wojek Halbedier for Bellugi’s fun and profit later, she had a name. Now she found herself in the middle of some civil war on her homeplane and met a young woman who was apparently Anna’s best friend before she had lost her memories in whatever incident ignited her spark. “Nikita-” Hilda, the young woman, poked her head into the tent, “c- can I come in.”

Anna stared at her, dressed in a military uniform compared to Anna’s outfit which was more suited for a hike than a battlefield. “You’re already halfway in, and it’s Anna,” she said with a slight shrug, she was told Nikita was her real name but it felt about as real as finding out you had a great uncle you never knew until he died, a dull sadness mixed with a dose of ‘is that so?’ like you know you lost something on an intellectual level but the sting is less than the small cafe you enjoyed closing down. “What’s up?” She patted the bedroll beside her and Hilda came to sit down, she was carrying an unwieldy book and opened it up to a specific page for Anna to see.

“Look, it’s you Ni- Anna,” Hilda caught herself as she pointed to a picture of several students gathered together, looking very formal, “That’s the two of us, I’m the girl right behind you.” Anna followed her finger first to a happy young girl with curly brown hair and beaming with pride, and then to a slightly older and much more stern young woman with pulled back blonde hair. Anna recognized her general features in the blonde’s face even if she lacked her scar in the picture and had a bun instead of the short mohawk Anna had started rocking since she decided to find out who she was. “You were one of the best mages in the school,” Hilda said almost wistfully. In the picture, Anna stood directly to the right of a much taller young man with impeccable hair and glasses, there were thirteen students in the image all done up in their regalia with various cords and collars to denote rank.

“What kind of person was I?” Anna asked, running her finger down the face of the blonde in the picture, she felt no more connection to the girl in the picture than she would to any rando on any plane who happened to share her face.

“You were always very nice to me,” Hilda said, nodding to herself, “you always knew what you wanted and how to get it.” Hilda pulled the book away and closed it. “You were a kind person, and a good friend.”

“Sorry,” Anna pushed herself off the bed roll and to a standing position, “but I’m pretty sure that’s bullshit. That girl in the picture, the blonde one: she didn’t have friends, she had tools.” She had seen enough faces, enough people who ‘knew how to get what they wanted’ to know the look of someone who thought only in terms of how people could help them.

Hilda stood up, suddenly in the position of defending past Anna, or rather Nikita, from present Anna. “That’s not true, you risked everything to help Bali when her mind got wiped. You always put yourself on the line for other people.”

“Only when I had a motive, I’m sure.” Anna said and looked back to Hilda who was now looking hurt by the accusations Anna had laid against herself. “Who’s Bali?” She needed to find more people who actually knew who she was, see if that could jog her memory.

“She was part of the Student Affair Committee, with the two of us. Her mind got wiped by the same person who attacked you.”

“And where is she now?” Anna asked, grabbing her coat and putting it on.

“She should still be the care home in the city,” Hilda said following after Anna, “where are you going?”

“We’re going to the care home,” Anna corrected her, leaving the tent and making her way through the camp preparing to attack the city the next day.

“That’s enemy territory!” Hilda objected rather loudly, drawing the attention of some soldiers who had been playing cards over their evening meals.

“It sure is,” she said and as two soldiers came to stop her from leaving the camp, she extended a hand towards the closer one, “your friend over there cheated you last night at cards.” With the suggestion planting itself in the soldier’s mind, he turned and punched the man he was previously working with to stop them. Anna walked past the fight quickly turning into a brawl and soldiers went to look at what was happening. “Come on Hilda, we need to fix an old friend.” Part of her felt bad for talking like she remembered Bali and maybe for that mind magic earlier, but she needed to know what Bali had known even if it meant she and Nikita had more in common than Anna wanted to admit.

Infiltrating the city was relatively easy with just the two of them, using spells to mask their presence and a ‘random’ dragon attacking the city certainly didn’t hurt matters. Anna pushed the door to the care center open to find and older man leveling his crossbow at them “We don’t want any trouble or any part in the fighting, just turn around.” he threatened.

“I just need to see Ba-” She was stopped mid-sentence as a crossbow bolt clipped her in the arm. “Toothfrikballgodsmatted” She clenched her teeth holding her arm, trying not to cry out in pain. “Don’t reload,” she threatened as she saw the man reaching for another bolt from his satchel, “don’t do it, you know what? Shatter!” She threw the spell, causing the crossbow to burst into a thousand pieces in his hands. “Where’s the patient named Bali,” she looked to Hilda for a last name.

“Holfen.” Hilda responded somewhat nervously, which Anna felt was a bit unfair since she wasn’t the one who had gotten shot.

“What she said.” Anna pointed a finger threateningly at the older man, “tell us, or I’ll see how you like getting shot.”

“Room Six,” he said pointing down the left hallway, “please don’t kill me, I’ve got kids.”

“Rela-” Anna was cut off by another cry from the man.

“That was a lie, I don’t got kids,” he cowered from her, “I still don’t want to die.” She lowered her finger and didn’t justify this display with an answer. She walked down the hallway and tried the door with the number six on it, only to find it locked.

“Did you think it wouldn’t be locked,” Hilda asked her, looking between the handle and Anna’s face.

“I mean, it might not have been,” She said, suddenly defensive.

“It’s the middle of the night,” Hilda said, pushing past Anna and knocking on the door, “Bali, are you awake? It’s me, Hilda.” She called into the room.

“It’s the middle of the night,” Anna parroted back to Hilda when there was initially no reaction, but then they both heard the sounds of feet shuffling towards the door. “I guess not.”

The door opened enough for a woman with dull blue eyes to look out “Hilda?” She asked in a rather dull tone. “Do you want to come in?”

“I’d love to,” Anna said before either girl who apparently used to be her subordinate , and Bali stepped out of the way for the mind mage to make her way into the room. “Do you remember me?” She asked plainly and Bali looked her up and down.

“Yes, but you’re dead. Hilda said you died.” She responded flatly.

“She also said that Ivan and I were lovers,” Anna said confidently.

“She never said that,” Bali responded flatly.

“Who’s Ivan?” Hilda looked somewhat disgusted at this turn of events. “Why would you lie about that?”

“Anyway,” Anna pulled on her mana bonds in preperation for a dive into Bali’s mind, see if she couldn’t put humpty dumpty back together, “I’m going to make you better, Bali.” Or try, but Bali didn’t seem like she’d mind if Anna failed.

It was sudden blackness and Anna was falling through an empty void with only sporadic islands of memories marking the passage of space. Every part of her mind urged her to break contact and that staying here was a bad idea but those were the kinds of ideas Anna liked the best. Using her willpower and mind, Anna slowed her descent and started creating ground beneath her feet. Once solidified, she was standing in the ruins of a mental labyrinth, it was one that was made to be solved through cleverness but whoever got through was apparently the kind to blast holes in walls and act like they were smart. She followed the path of destruction until she came upon a specter and more Islands of memories, shattered and orbiting what looked like a small sun. “Wow,” she said, putting her hands in her pockets, “much metaphor, very deep.”

The Specter turned around and had a certain malice in its eyes “Nikita,” it said, “I was meant for you, I was meant to destroy you.”

“You did a pretty shit job of that then,” She said, flinging some counter magic to deflect on an oncoming blast, “so I’m guessing you’re here to keep her mind from being repaired.” She deflected another spell and tried to counter but it fizzled as soon as it left her hand.

“This mind is my domain, you cannot defeat me you pathetic woman!” The Specter started launching a barrage of spells that she either tried to counter to dodge. The air was rife with magical energy “Now, to strip you of that pesky identity.” As the spell was cast, the residual energy was shaped and she saw the spell copied over and over all around her. “So goodbye, Nikita.”

“Goodbye, Nikita,” She responded and as the spells all rushed to hit her at the same time, she unleashed a burst of magical energy, a form of countermagic designed to deal with situations exactly like this. Each spell that raced towards her fizzled into nothingness and nothing the Specter did could prevent it. She walked towards the Specter, cracking her knuckles.

“I’m incorporeal, your brute strength is no-” She sent the specter sprawling to the ground with a well placed punch.

“We’re both incorporeal, you dipshit,” She said, punching the specter again. “The difference between you and me,” another punch to keep the uppity little shit down, “is that you’re the mana construct of a worthless little maggot.” The Specter pushed itself back up but got knocked down again by Anna’s fist and she grabbed it by the head. “And I’m,” her eyes were glowing blue she she channeled her mana into breaking the spirit apart piece by piece, “A GODDAMN PLANESWALKER!” There was an explosion and all was calm as the pieces of Bali’s mind stopped rotating and were slowly pulled towards the small sun.

Anna took in a deep breath as she came back to the real world, Bali was laying unconscious beside her. “Are you alright?” Hilda asked, going in for a hug. “You collapsed, and then she collapsed, everyone was dropping and I was worried that you wouldn’t come back.”

“Yeah,” Anna put a singular arm around Hilda while propping herself up with the other one. She looked to the unconscious Bali was now breathing regularly, “I, I don’t know what happened but whoever broke her mind left a construct behind to make sure it wasn’t put back together.”

“What-what happened to it?”

“I killed it of course,” Anna said, as if to suggest any other solution would be silliness. “Let’s rest here for the night, Hilda.” She said, breaking away to lock the door. Wouldn’t want any strange people to barge in. “Tomorrow we can storm the castle and take back the city.”

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