#in which i put mario through one heck of an emotional roller coaster

[snowyfrostshadows]

Gray Lies

Mario encounters Mr. L without his mask.

This both changes everything and absolutely nothing.

---

One final blast from Boomer and the (quite frankly) terrifying robotic head crashed and crumbled in on itself on top of the flat, empty landscape that the Sammer Kingdom once rested on.

Mario couldn't help the sigh of relief that escaped him at the sight.

Mr. L was a tough opponent, more so with mechanical aid, but without his L-Bot and the beating he'd taken earlier, Mario felt it was safe to say this fight was over.

"WHY CAN'T I BEAT YOU?!"

An angry voice howled from the wreckage as metal pieces began to move and shift from where Count Bleck's most annoying minion was attempting to free himself.

Another sigh escaped him at the sight. This time, one born of pity instead of relief.

As annoying and egotistical this guy was (seriously, he put Bowser's obnoxiousness to shame), Mario could not find it himself to refuse help to anyone. Even his enemies.

So, picking his path carefully through the pile of scrap metal, Mario made his way to where the cursing was coming from the loudest. (He wasn't sure, but he could have sworn a couple of the words were in Italian. But that was impossible...)

Pushing past the tinge of unease that crept up on him whenever he thought about or interacted with the Green Pain-in-the-Ass too long, Mario lightly tapped on the biggest piece of metal on where he thought might be where Mr. L was pinned.

The sudden pause in the angry rant over what would happen once free confirmed his suspicions of the other man's location.

"If you a back up a little, if you a can, I think I can-a get you out."

"Why? You think just because you help me, I'll give you that hunk of rock?"

Mario shrugged, forgetting for the moment Mr. L couldn't see it.

"That would be a nice but no. This may a be hard for you to understand, but there doesn't have to be a reason to help someone out."

"...well that's stupid."

"Do you want out of there or not?"

"Ugh. Fine! Sure! Be a big stupid hero! I'm only saying yes because you owe me one Red."

Ignoring for a moment what on earth Mr. L meant by him 'owing him' Mario set to work moving the metal piece enough to make an opening for the slimmer man to get through.

"He's out!" Came Tippi's cheerful voice, allowing Mario to let the heavy sheet of metal to fall back into place.

Not wanting the pixel to be alone with Mr. L for too long, Mario made his way back down to a less metal-filled space.

"Oh. That looks painful. Are you okay?"

"Tch. This? Tis just a flesh wound."

Mario felt himself freeze before forcing himself to move again.

He was just. Imagining it. Hearing things.

Plenty of people probably said that. Hell, this was a magical world. It was probably a common phrase.

But the inflection...

Swallowing, Mario moved closer to Mr. L and tapped his shoulder to get his attention.

Mr. L turned, sneer on his face as he glared down at him. "What? I thought you said you didn't want the stupid rock."

Whatever Mario was going to say, had planned to say, died on tongue.

Mr. L. Wasn't wearing his mask.

Mario didn't know where it was but he didn't care.

For the first time, he could see the other man's face clearly and he couldn't believe how stupid he'd been.

Sure, he wasn't always the smartest guy around, but it shouldn't have taken him a lack of fabric to notice that Mr. L was. That Mr. L was...

"Luigi." He breathed and Mr. L's-his brother's, god, how had he not noticed, eyes widened.

"The name's Mr. L not-"

Mario didn't (couldn't) let him finish as he practically threw himself at his brother, wrapping him in a tight hug.

"I'm so sorry! I should've a known-! But I-I thought you were dead or. Or missing and that I h-had to save you!"

A hand grabbed his shoulder and roughly pushed him away.

"What the hell is wrong with you?!" Luigi yelled at him, eyes wide. "Did L-Bot actually land a solid hit on you?"

His face twitched like he wasn't sure whether to be thrilled or horrified at that.

Mario frowned, feeling like he was missing something important but for the life of him, he couldn't put his finger on it.

"No! I'mma fine! Your robot...wait. Did you build that? I didn’ know you were that good at mechanics! Nevermind, not the point, I know. I'm just. So happy you're okay!"

Luigi was staring at him like he didn't know what he was looking at.

"Luigi?"

His brother scowled, annoyance practically rolling off him in waves as he began patting his jumpsuit down looking for something.

"Don't call me that." He snarled at him. Mario couldn't help it. He flinched. Not once, in his entire life had he heard his brother snarl at someone.

Mutter stuff under his breath, yes. But nothing aggressive or or harder than the rare ill-thought comment.

"...Luigi?" He repeated, softer, not sure if his brother would even hear him. But, judging by the gritting of his teeth, he had.

"I told you." He growled as he stomped closer to him, something gripped tightly in his hand. "The name is Mr. L."

Before he could ask (or demand really) why his brother was so hung up on that, Luigi had grabbed his chin hard in one hand and roughly moved his head while shining a bright light in his eyes.

Mario pushed him away.

"Luigi what the hell?!"

"Oh I'm sorry for checking if the supposed Hero of the Light Prognostics has a concussion or not!"

"I don't have a concussion! Your stupid robot barely hit me!"

"Oh really? Then WHY in Count Bleck's name are you spouting nonsense?! If this is some sort of trick to finish me off, or or take the busted up, useless Pure Heart, it's really fucking weird!"

"It's not nonsense! You're Luigi, my brother! And I'mma so so sorry I didn't a realize sooner. I promise, I'm not going to leave you behind again."

Luigi's face fell, his expression one of disbelief and...fear?

Slowly, he began backing away as an almost uneasy grin was plastered onto his face.

"Brother. That's. A-ha. That's a good one. A lil too desperate for a my tastes. What? Didja get a tired of almost losing to me thata much you had to to make up some dumb story to 'tempt me back from the dark side'?" Luigi attempted to do air quotes at that before wincing slightly. "Well it's not going to work! I'm Count Bleck's most promising minion! I would never turn my back on him and his plans with the void!"

Oh.

That's what he'd been missing.

If Luigi was Mr. L (he was, he'd know him anywhere, should have known him the moment he first saw him) then. Then Luigi had joined Count Bleck.

Who was trying to destroy all words.

Luigi was trying to destroy all worlds.

He felt cold. Hollow.

Faintly, he wondered if this was how the former inhabitants of this world had felt right before the Dark Void had swallowed them up.

...maybe he'd been swallowed up as well.

That'd make more sense than Luigi turning his back on everything they'd ever believed or fought for and gleefully watching the very destruction of well, everything.

"Mario? Are you okay?" came Tippi's gentle voice beside him.

He wanted so badly to say yes. That of course he was fine. He was a Hero; he always bounced back from anything life threw at him.

But he couldn't get the words out. He could only stare at his brother and wonder what had happened. Was this. Was this his fault? Was he actually a bad older brother? Why else would Luigi do all this if he hadn't done something to push him this way?

Luigi, for his part had stopped moving back and was watching him in turn as well.

The anger and disbelief that had twisted his face into an unrecognizable mask had softened into something that could be considered concern.

It was still too hard and stiff for it to be one hundred percent familiar, but a lifetime of knowing each other meant he could still read his brother like the back of his hand. Even if...even if they were more like strangers than brothers now...

"Are you...having a stroke? Not that I care or anything. I just want to know if it'd be kinder to take you out now than let you drag out what's left of your sad existence this pitifully."

A wet, almost choked sounding laugh escaped him.

He didn't mean to laugh, there was nothing funny about Luigi threatening to kill him out of 'kindness' but what else was he supposed to do?

This whole adventure had taken such a dark turn. He didn't think anything could top the horror and failure he'd felt seeing what had become of the Sammer Kingdom but this. This 'reunion', if he could even call it that, with Luigi sure came close.

"Oh, aside from skipping ahead a few pages of the script, our oh so noble and brave Hero in Red is just fine."

Both brothers turned away from each other to look at the source of the obnoxious voice.

Mario felt his stomach drop as he took in the ever-grinning jester. Great. Just what he needed on top of his already crummy day.

(That guy.)

"Ugh. What do you want Dimentio?"

Dimentio tilted his head slightly as he took in the scene, gaze lingering on Luigi in a way that made Mario's skin crawl.

"Oh, I was just stopping by to cut free an annoying string off my dear Count's coattails. But lucky for me, it looks like I can take care of two loose threads in one swift blow. "

Luigi scowled. "Then get going. I'm already dealing with something here. Go bother someone else."

Dimentio leaned closer to his brother, a dark glint peeking through one of the slits in his mask.

"Tell me, Mr. L, is this level of obtusity thanks to Nastasia's hard work or have you always been dumber than your brother?"

Luigi stumbled back. "What? He's not my brother!"

"Says the man with no memory." Dimentio sighed as he floated back and away from Luigi. "Seems you really are just that stupid. Pity."

Dimentio probably hadn't intended for his words to affect one of the brothers positively, but Mario couldn't help feeling like a tremendous weight had been lifted off of him.

Luigi didn't know what he was doing. Not really.

His brother must have hit his head or something and had had the bad luck to be taken in by Bleck and tricked to be somebody he wasn't.

This could all be fixed!

But first, he had to hold back on his feelings of elation and relief and watch Dimentio for the moment he was distracted enough to grab his brother and leave.

"I'm not stupid!" Luigi snapped. "I built a robot! Two of them! He-" Luigi jabbed a finger angrily in Mario's direction "Can't tell a camshaft from a crankshaft and don't even get me STARTED on the time he tried to 'fix' the vacuum and ended up coating the whole room in dust!"

Dimentio placed a hand under his chin. "My my my. What some very specific examples of a man you don't know."

Luigi's hand dropped as he stood frozen, confusion coloring his face. "I don't...how?"

Dimentio tutted in mock sympathy. "L. L. L. L. L. It's not your fault Nastasia pulled out all the stops for you. Don't ask me why as you're about as important as stray lint on a coat, but I guess even the strongest hypnosis fades after a while, no matter how weak and pathetic the subject is."

"I'm. I'm not-. I'm Count Bleck's most promising minion! I-I always have been loy-"

"Since you first woke up." Dimentio interrupted coldly. "And what 'loyal servant' thinks they can just ignore a direct order from their master? Face it L, you're on the fast track to betraying Count Bleck. I think it's better for everyone if you never show you face around anyone again. Lucky for you, I'm here to do just that."

Dimentio's ever-present grin seemed to widen as he raised a hand slowly into the air, fingers pressed in a familiar gesture from the last time Mario had the misfortune to fight him.

It didn't take a genius to guess what the stupid clown was going to do.

And while Mario had no doubt that his brother would normally be able to dodge the incoming attack or even hold his own even as a twisted, jerk version of himself, right now, after Dimentio's taunts and ripping him apart, Luigi looked...lost. He wasn't even sure if his brother was even aware of what was happening around him anymore.

Fortunately for him though, he wasn't facing Dimentio alone.

Mouth a tight line, Mario summoned a Bomb Blast from Boomer and chucked it straight at Dimentio's stupid, fat head before diving for his brother, grabbing his arm and flipping the two of them between dimensions.

A small, petty, spiteful part of himself took dark satisfaction at hearing Dimentio's howl of pain and shock at having a bomb go off in his face before the sound abruptly cut off as he and Luigi entered a more three dimensional (but still empty) world. He couldn't even pull up an ounce of guilt for the dirty trick.

Dimentio had threatened his brother. He should consider himself lucky a cheap shot was all Mario had time for at the moment.

As it stood, they needed to get out of there as soon as possible. Preferably back to the others and then everything could be one step closer to being normal again.

Speaking of...

Mario glanced down at his brother as he pulled him to his feet and began dragging him towards where he thought the portal back to Flipside might be back in the normal dimension.

"Where's. Where's Dimentio?"

"Busy."

Luigi frowned before noticing that Mario had his arm in a vice grip.

"Let go of me!"

"No."

"If you think I'm just going to let you take me prisoner-!"

Mario came to a sharp stop, accidentally forcing his brother to stumble to do the same.

"I'mma not taking you prisoner. I'mma taking you back with me. Like I promised."

Luigi stared at him for a moment before scowling as he tried to rip Mario's hand off his arm with his free hand.

"What makes you think I want to go back with you?! We're not-" Luigi's mouth twisted like he wasn't sure what he wanted to end that sentence with before settling on a growl. "Let me go!"

Mario glared right back at him. "Oh sure. So you can a what? Stand around and let Dimentio kill you?" He snapped.

"He wasn't going to kill m-"

"Yes! He was! If I hadn't stopped him-" "YOU WHAT?!" "And grabbed you-" "OH MY GOD!" "You'd be DEAD!"

Luigi stared at him wide-eyed. "... they're going to think I'm a traitor." He rasped.

“Were you not listening? It sounded like they already did! Why else would Dimen-"

"L-Like I ever believe anything that clown ever says!" Luigi laughed but even with how out of sync they were, Mario could still tell it was forced.

"I-I mean. W-Why would Count Bleck have me hypnotized to follow him? I always would have been his loyal minion without question! He's so great and clever and and-"

Mario tightened his grip slightly as his brother trailed off, desperately trying to find other attributes he admired enough to follow someone cruel enough to destroy all life across all worlds.

"No," he said quietly, "No, you wouldn't."

Luigi frowned at that, but whatever thoughts or feelings he had to Mario's comment he kept frustratingly to himself.

Although...maybe...the fact he wasn't arguing it outright...meant that he was coming around to the truth and not sticking with whatever lies Bleck had filled his head with.

Reassured by that thought, Mario started moving again pulling his brother close behind.

"...if you let go I...promise I won't...run away or anything else you think I might do."

Mario paused and looked at his brother curiously. "...promise?"

Luigi looked torn between annoyance and glowering "Dio. Yes. Do you want it in writing?"

"No! I trust you, Luigi."

His brother's mouth twisted like he'd bitten into something sour at that and Mario couldn't help feeling a small pang at the reaction.

But, a promise was a promise and he did trust Luigi. Mostly. 'Mr. L' was a lil different but he was still Luigi deep down so it still counted. Probably.

Curiously, after letting go, Luigi didn't move away or try to start up another fight. He just stood there for a moment, flexing his fingers a little before sighing and removing a bit of fabric wrapped around the arm Mario had been gripping.

To his confusion, the bit of fabric almost looked damp. But, that was impossible. There had been nothing in the empty landscape of the void that could have made anything wet and he himself had barely touched Luigi during the fight let alone with anything that could have caused a damp spot.

And then his eyes trailed away from the fabric scrap to the area it had previously covered and he nearly had a heart attack.

Luigi's arm was alarmingly bloody. Not as bad as it had presumably been to warrant a makeshift bandage in the first place but still enough that he wanted to shake him for taking the thing off.

What the hell was he thinking?!

"Put that back on!"

Luigi flinched slightly at the shout before glaring at him.

"Sure. Lemme do that right after I wring the blood out of it."

Then, probably just to annoy him personally, Luigi balled up the disgusting mess of fabric and shoved it into a pants pocket.

"LUIGI!" Mario shouted, scandalized.

Other than rolling his eyes, Luigi ignored him and began taking off his scarf with one hand.

"Wait. What are you a doing?"

"What's it look like? I'm changing the wrapping."

Mario sighed and moved closer. "And you couldn't have waited till we got back to the others why?"

Luigi blinked like that thought hadn't even crossed his mind. Maybe it hadn't.

"...I. wanted something drier?" He scowled. "Why do you even care? It'll only be a couple minutes."

"We're brothers." Mario couldn't help wondering how many times he'd have to say something that should be so obvious before it finally sunk into Luigi's head. "Of course I care."

He reached for the scarf, trying not to let the suspicious look his brother was shooting him bother him. "Let me. Two hands are better than one."

"...fine."

"Grazie."

Scarf now in hand, Mario took a closer look at the wound. It. Wasn't as bad as he'd first thought. Yes, there was blood and Luigi might need a couple stitches, but, for the most part, it looked like keeping it wrapped was still the best option at the moment.

"What happened anyway?"

Luigi snorted. "You destroyed L-Bot, remember?"

A cold feeling started to spread through him.

"And...me doing that. Caused this?"

"In a roundabout way, I guess. I bumped into a loose piece trying to get out but eh. That's what I get for not beating you."

Mario paused what he was doing, afraid that his hands might be shaking too much to wrap the scarf tight enough that it'd do any good and looked at his brother.

"Luigi. I am so, so sorry. I didn't mean-"

Luigi recoiled slightly. "I KNOW! Geeze, relax. God. Are you always this weepy? Don't answer that." He ran his free hand through his hair, disrupting his hat a little. "If it makes you feel better, I don't. Hold it against you. Not because I remember anything, but because you got me out of the pile of scrap metal faster than I'd have by myself. So. We're square or whatever."

"But-"

Luigi heaved a heavy sigh as he dragged his hand down his face.

"So. Brothers. Am I right in saying that not only am I the more handsome and dashing between the two of us, but also older?"

Mario could feel his mouth twitch slightly towards a smile. He was still upset over having indirectly being the reason his brother was hurt but, it was comforting to see some of the old, familiar Luigi shine through. He couldn't count the number of times his brother had abruptly changed the subject to something completely different if he saw him spiraling or getting stuck on a detail or two.

He hadn't done it as much as he had since they'd fallen into the Mushroom Kingdom, but it was still nice to see the habit was still there despite the memory loss.

Turning back to his earlier task, Mario was relieved to see his hands were no longer shaking.

"Technically, I'm older by about fifteen minutes or so. We're twins."

"...coulda fooled me."

Mario bit back a snort. "Well someone decided to shoot up like a giraffe in eighth grade and throw off the whole identical theme we had going."

"Not my fault you didn't get the memo." Luigi muttered low enough under his breath Mario doubted he'd have heard him if hadn't been as close as he was. Honestly, he wasn’t sure Luigi himself was aware of what he’d just said.

But the fact that he’d thrown back a familiar line in an old argument, unconsciously or not, was enough to buoy Mario’s mood back to it’s usual good cheer. All this was temporary, and the sooner they got back to the others, the quicker the rest of Luigi’s normal self would come back and this whole working-for-Bleck thing could be forgotten about.  

Smiling more widely now, Mario tied the end of the scarf firmly enough that it wouldn't fall off but not so tight that it would make the wound any worse.

"There we go!"

"Great." Luigi frowned slightly before looking away. "So. How much longer till we get to wherever it is you're taking me?"

It was Mario's turn to frown. "I'm not sure."

Luigi spun back around, eyes wide. "What?! Are you telling me you've just been dragging me around without any idea of where you're going?! What is wrong with you?!"

Mario shrugged, only half listening to his brother and did some thinking.

They'd been in this dimension for awhile now, most of it at a quick pace so...maybe they were close enough to the door back to Flipside by now? It couldn't hurt to check.

Taking a couple (quick) steps back from Luigi so he wouldn't accidentally get pulled with him, Mario flipped back to the flatter, second dimension.

Unsurprisingly, it was still empty of all life, with just the occasional rare broken remnant of the vibrant world that had once been here.

The only silver lining that Mario could think of was that Dimentio wasn’t waiting for him to land a retaliation blow from his earlier attack before escaping with Luigi nor could he really be seen anywhere.

Meaning he could safely take his brother out of the more detailed dimension without fear of Dimentio targeting him or worse, persuading Luigi to start fighting him again.

Plus, he was about seventy percent sure he knew where they were in relation to the door so it wouldn't be much longer of a walk.

Satisfied with his little reconnaissance, Mario flipped back to where he’d left his brother, accidentally startling him.

“Sorry.”

Luigi shot him a dark look.

“For startling you just now.”

“Is that it?” Luigi asked icily. Mario couldn’t help staring at him curiously, unsure on what else he could have possibly done to upset his brother.

“You. Left.”

Mario blinked, still lost at what Luigi was trying to get at. “Yes?”

“Dio aiutami.” Luigi muttered. “How does a literal child have more sense than you do?” He took a deep breath and fixed a hard look at Mario. “You left. Without warning. Leaving me stuck someplace literally no one else can access!”

“I was a gonna come back!”

“How would I know that?! I don’t know you!”

Mario felt like he’d been slapped. “You’re my brother. Mia famiglia. I’d always come back for you.”

Luigi snorted and crossed his arms. “Right. Just like you did before Count Bleck did. Oh, wait. You didn’t.”

Mario couldn't stop himself from flinching at that. “That’s not fair. I wasn’t there. If I was, I’d have a never lost you.” You wouldn’t be like this he doesn’t add.

Luigi narrows his eyes, as if guessing what he was thinking and scowled. “Sounds like a you problem.”

“Weegee-”

“Don’t call me that! My name is Mr. L!”

"I'M NOT CALLING YOU THAT!" Mario roared back before slapping his hand over his mouth and turning away from Luigi, frustrated with himself.

Luigi wasn't himself.

Luigi wasn't himself.

Luigi wasn't himself.

He couldn't get mad at him. Stars knew what he'd been through to end up acting like a. Like a testa di cazzo. And while, a small part of him could acknowledge that he probably should be calling him 'Mr. L' like he wanted, a bigger, stubborn, more selfish part of him refused to.

It felt wrong to throw something as big as a title between them.

They'd known each other their whole lives, were closer to each other than anyone else in the whole world.

To be that formal with each other...with Luigi...was wrong.

Slowly, he pulled his hand off his face and sighed. Maybe...he was being unfair. He couldn't call him the name Bleck had given him, but maybe. They could come to a compromise?

But what on earth could he call hi- “...Mario?”

Mario froze before slowly turning back around to face Lui-Mr.-his tw-the stranger wearing his brother’s face and almost cried.

The nervous unsurety was so familiar it hurt. If he wasn’t still holding himself back, wasn’t still looking at him with the barest hint of mistrust, like he didn’t know him, then there was no doubt in Mario’s mind that he’d be by his brother’s side to offer comfort and trying to boost his confidence back up right this very second.

But that wasn’t his brother.

Not really and maybe he’d never be again.

“What.” he said tiredly, completely and utterly drained from this whole mess of an adventure.

The other man bit his bottom lip, uncertainty in his eyes. “You don’t. Lose it. Like that.”

Mario blinked. “What.” he repeated dumbly.

Mr. L frowned and rolled his eyes, some of his earlier annoying bluster coming back. “Lose it. The whole.” he waved a hand “Snapping you just did. Not even when Ashbreath kidnaps Miss Pretty in Pink.” a small snort escaped him. “Don’t know why, if anyone deserves a good scolding it’s him…” Mr. L frowned again and eyed him curiously. “But you don’t. Ever. You’re always...chipper. It’s annoying. So. That. Outburst just now. That’s not you.”

Mario’s mouth felt dry as he stared at Lu-his brother. “I thought. You didn’t know me.”

His brother grimaced and looked away. “I don’t. Not really. I just know you don’t lose your temper like that. I mean really. My name? Would it be so hard for you to call me Mr. L?”

“Yes.”

His brother looks back at him again and Mario isn’t sure, but if he didn’t know any better, he’d swear something crumples in his expression before it’s gone as he throws his head back and groans.

“Fine. You win. Bambino drammatatico. You can call me Luigi.” Luigi’s mouth twists like he’s still not sure of his own name. “But if you even attempt to call me ‘Weegee’ again, I’ll give you a beating that’ll make your last fight with the world’s dumbest, ugliest turtle look like a picnic.”

“Thank you, Luigi. That. That a means a lot.”

“Ugh. Don’t mention it. Ever.”

Mario can’t help a small smile. He was being stupid earlier. Luigi would always be his brother, no matter what happened. And, this whole ‘Mr. L’ thing was bound to go away eventually, right?

He just had to keep reminding himself of that fact.

“I think I know where we are by the way.”

Luigi raised a brow. “You think?”

Mario shrugged. “As much as can in this world. I’m pretty sure the door back to Flipside is close by.”

He moved closer and hesitantly placed a hand on Luigi’s arm. “Ready?”

“I guess so. Don’t know why you’re so nervous. Everything’s dead. Teleport us over or whatever it is you do.”

Mario bit his tongue and quietly flipped the two of them back to the regular, flat dimension they were more used to.

It was still empty.

Void of all life and color.

A reminder of his failure and what lay in wait for the rest of the connecting worlds if he couldn’t stop Bleck and his terrifying all-consuming void.

Tightening his grip on his brother’s arm, Mario trudged ahead. Judging by Luigi’s callous tone right before they’d flipped from one dimension to the next, he didn’t want to look back and see what sort of expression he was wearing.

If it was some sort of sick glee or or pride on his brother’s face at seeing a once vibrant world gone, then there was a very good chance he’d go down another depressive spiral and he doubted Luigi would bother pulling him out of it again.

Better to just keep going. Find the door. Get out and hope once his brother was around normal people again, their friends, then he’d be able to drop the whole Mr. L mindset faster.

Thankfully, the walk back to the door that would take them back to Flipside Tower ended up not being as long as he’d first thought it’d be. The deep, rich blue was a welcome sight after seeing nothing but white for so long.

“Huh.” Luigi muttered as he pulled his arm out of Mario’s grip and moved closer to the door and placed a hand against it. “Not bad. Not as nice as the ones back at the castle of course, but the craftsmanship is nice. No wonder it survived the void.”

Mario stared at him. “What?”

Luigi looked at him like he was an idiot. “The energy coming off this thing. Can’t you feel it? It’s.” Luigi frowned and waved his hands. “Y’know?”

Mario looked back at the door. He didn’t feel anything. But that didn’t mean it wasn’t giving off any energy. Maybe it was electrical? Luigi told him once, after getting his Thunder Hand, that he sometimes felt the power running through their house or when or where lighting was going to strike during a storm. Kind of like how Mario found himself more aware of sources of heat or fire sometimes.

So it was probably that. But he had a feeling trying to explain all that would just give them both a headache so he just shrugged.

“Maybe. But it’s y’know. A portal in the shape of a door? I wouldn’ be surprised if it wasn’t giving something off.”

Luigi frowned and looked at the door again. “Maybe…”

Placing his own hand against the door, Mario pushed forward, relieved to find it still open and lead back to the Tower. They were so close.

“Come on.”

Luigi quietly followed behind him and already, Mario could feel some of the tension he’d been carrying since coming back to the Sammer Kingdom leave him as he walked down the hallway full of doors.

Yes, the swirling, glowing vortex of purple just out of the corner of his eye served as a reminder of how little time they had left to stop Bleck was. BUT he had his brother back, possibly another Pure Heart depending on how well he was able to persuade Luigi to give it back, and Merlon was sure to be able to point him in the direction of the final Heart and help his brother shake off Bleck’s influence fully. And then all of this nightmare of an adventure could be one step closer to being done and behind him forever.

Belatedly, about halfway down the hall, Mario realized he didn’t hear Luigi following right behind him anymore.

Turning, Mario was surprised to see his brother had stopped at some point and was just staring at the swirling vortex looming over them.

“Luigi?”

His brother didn’t respond.

Concerned, Mario backtracked till he was at Luigi’s side and lightly shook him. “Bro?”

Luigi jumped slightly before looking down at him and scowled. “What?”

“You were just. Standing here. Are you okay?”

Luigi blinked before shooting a quick look at the void and frowned. “Yeah. Peachy.” His frown deepened slightly. “I guess I just...got caught up looking at the vortex up there. I don’t think I’ve ever seen it before.”

Mario nodded. “Got it. It. Is a pretty scary isn’t it? Looming over everything, getting bigger…” He gave his brother a light pat and one of his brighter smiles. “But we’ll stop it before it destroys any more worlds!”

“...Sure you will.” Luigi replied flatly before suddenly pushing past him. “That the thing that’ll get us a outta here?”

Mario stumbled a little as he quickly reoriented himself to find Luigi gesturing towards the white elevator box at the end of the hallway.

“Yes. Is som-”

“Wonderful. Pick up the pace Shorty. You’re on a time crunch remember?”

Mario watched in slight confusion as Luigi nearly ran towards the elevator. That was...weird. He looked up at the swirling void near the tower and frowned. Did. Seeing the mechanism of Count Bleck’s form of destruction instill some form of guilt in his brother?

“Oh my god! Why are you so slow?! Do you have a date or something with that thing!?”

Mario sighed. Whatever Luigi’s reasoning, it wasn’t important right now. What was, was catching up to his brother before he decided to ditch him. And having to try to finding him again.

With a light jog, Mario quickly caught up to his brother.

“Finally.” Luigi muttered, glaring at the elevator’s doors and stubbornly refusing to look at him. “Any longer and I’d have to apologize to that oversized reptile for thinking he was the slowest thing on the planet.”

“You seem to be in a rush.” Mario started cautiously; half-hoping his brother would say he regretted his current/past actions.

“Yeah well, the view here sucks.” Luigi snarled as he slammed a finger on the elevator button. Distantly, Mario wondered how many times his brother had pressed it before he’d gotten there.

Almost a second later, there was a light ping and the doors had barely started opening before his brother marched into the box.

“Luigi-” Mario started as he followed after him. “The vacuum thing. Did that really happen?” Luigi suddenly interrupted, throwing him completely for a loop. “What?” he asked weakly.

“You trying to fix a vacuum. Was that real?”

Mario blinked and couldn’t help staring at Luigi dumbly. It. Took him a couple of seconds to realize what exactly he was talking about. That part of the exchange with Dimentio felt like it had happened ages ago.

He wasn’t sure why Luigi was bringing it back up again out of the blue like this, but it all honesty, he didn’t mind answering. Maybe this meant his brother was willing to try to remember who he was supposed to be without anymore fights first.

“Yes. That’s real.”

“Why would you do that? You suck at fixing stuff.”

Mario rubbed the back of his neck and looked away in slight embarrassment.

“It was supposed to be a surprise for your birthday. You’d been so busy that week with a bunch of projects for other people that you’d let...some of our own stuff fall to the background. And you a kept complaining about not havin’ any a time to fix the vacuum that I thought...maybe I could a do it. One less a thing for you to a worry about.”

Luigi leaned back and tipped his head against the wall. “Huh. Y’know, you coulda of just got me a toolbox. Woulda of saved on the cleaning bill I bet.”

Mario couldn’t help the laugh that escaped him at that. “You said that last time too.”

An amused smirk crossed Luigi’s face. “Well that just means I’m always right, doesn’t it?”

Another laugh escaped him at that. “Most of the time. Maybe. I can think of a few times you were wrong.”

Luigi’s smirk turned into an achingly familiar teasing grin. “I dunno. I don’t think those times count if I don’t remember them.”

“I think they do. I’ve got a few people who could back me up on you being dumb.”

Luigi snorts as the doors ping, announcing they’ve arrived at the bottom of the tower. “Whatever you say Red; I still don’t think it counts.”

Not bothering to wait for a reply, Luigi quickly stepped out of the elevator and onto the main street of Flipside. Rolling his eyes, Mario followed after him.

“Would it a kill you to wait two seconds?”

Luigi shrugged as he scanned the street. “Where to now?”

“Not too far, Merlon’s house is right next door.”

Pausing only long enough to make sure Luigi was following him, Mario led the way. As towns he’d visited went, Flipside was nice. Cobblestone paths, old style homes and buildings. It had a nice, cozy, almost industrial feel to it.

He couldn’t help wonder what Luigi would have thought of Flipside if he was in his right mind.

“Yeesh. Is that the guy’s house? It looks like a rainbow threw up on it but missed a few colors.”

Mario sighed.

It’d probably be the exact opposite of that.

“Luigi, please don’t insult Merlon.”

“The man is insulting himself if he thinks any of that works. I mean. There’s like fifty stars on the front of the house alone. Talk about tacky.”

“Luigi.”

Luigi groaned. “Fine. I won’t insult your dumb best friend forever over his clearly questionable design choices.”

“Grazie.”

Taking a deep breath, Mario opened the door, just barely resisting the urge to drag his brother behind him as they entered.

Just a little while longer. Just a little while longer and then Luigi could be himself again.

“Oh ho! Our Hero has returned! Tell me, do you have the-” Marlon paused as he caught sight of Luigi behind him. “Who’s that?”

Mario gave the wizard a wide grin. “This is my brother, L-”

“Luigi?!”

Peach gasped as she entered the room behind Marlon. “You’re okay!”

Before Mario could warn her, or say anything really, she had closed the distance between them to throw her arms around his brother. “I was so worried for you after that dumb wedding fell apart with everyone running all over the place. Are you okay? Where were you?”

Mario couldn’t help wincing as Luigi pushed her off of him and took a couple steps back. “I don’t know what it’s like in your kingdom, Princess, but buy a guy dinner first before you throw yourself at him.” He threw her a smarmy look that made Mario want to die just looking at it. “I mean, I know I’m irresistible, but get a hold of yourself.”

Peach’s jaw dropped as she looked between the two brothers before settling on Mario. “...Are you sure this is your brother?”

Mario barely had a chance to open his mouth before a familiar roar shook the house.

“What is that Mr. L PUNK doing here?! Get away from my wife!”

Luigi’s face split into a wide smile. “Finally someone knows who I am! You’re not as dumb as you look, Spikes for Brains!”

“WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME?!”

“Spikes for Brains! Or is that too hard for your dumb little lizard brain to wrap itself around?”

Luigi jumped away from Mario’s outstretched hand, eyes still locked on Bowser. “And to answer your questions…” His smile turned sharp, making Mario fear what would come out of his brother’s mouth next. This time, instead of trying to grab him, he aimed for a tackle; half-hoping an impact with the floor would knock whatever was driving him to insult a giant fire-breathing turtle right back out of him.

Unfortunately, Luigi somehow saw that coming as well and dodged at the last second with a stupid spin that left Mario flat on the floor and him right in front of Bowser’s furious face.

“I thought Mario could have an arch rival that he wouldn’t be embarrassed to be seen hanging around with.” Luigi’s eyes flicked down to Bowser’s claws before darting back up to his face. “I don’t see any rings. Marriage problems, roba calda?”

Bowser let out a low growl that usually meant he was about two seconds from setting something or someone on fire when Mario grabbed Luigi from the back of his shirt and pulled him out of Bowser’s face.

“What. Is. Wrong. With. You?!?” he hissed as he dragged him back towards the door. “When I asked you not to insult Merlon, I didn’t a mean you could insult everyone else in the house!”

Luigi shrugged. “You should have been more specific. Besides, he started it.”

Mario dragged his free hand down his face and took a deep breath.  

Of all the things Count Bleck had done to his brother’s personality, was making him act like a literal five-year-old really necessary?

“Well I’m ending it. Just. Wait here for a moment while I catch everyone else up. Try not to start any more fights.”

Luigi just rolled his eyes before leaning against the door and gave him a flat look. “I won’t if he won’t.”

Mario sighed. Good enough he supposed.

Turning, he clapped his hands and headed back to the others, hoping his smile didn’t look as strained as he felt.

“So. As I was saying, I found my brother Luigi. He’s uh. Having some a memory problems…”

Peach frowned slightly. “Mario...issues with memory don’t erm. Change someone’s personality that...um, that is to say…”

“He may also have a been hypnotized.” Mario interrupted quickly before turning to look at Merlon. “But you can undo that, can’t you?”

“UGH! I shouda known you just brought me here to mess with my head too. Bet you had a big ol’ laugh with Dimentio about it too. L-ater Losers.”

Mario barely had time to feel his heart leap up his throat at the threat of losing Luigi again when his brother gave a startled yelp from Bowser picking him up from the back of his shirt.

He didn’t know what the Koopa King was doing next to his brother or even when he’d made his way to the door without him noticing, but Mario was grateful for the big lug regardless.

“You seriously want me to believe this mouthy, rude, disrespectful minion of Bleck’s is Green ‘Stache? This guy?”

Luigi made to swing an arm at Bowser before wincing. “I’ll show you ‘rude’ if you don’t let me go right this instant you you walking bowl of turtle soup!”

Bowser raised an eyebrow before shooting Mario an unimpressed look. “Yeah, I don’t buy it. How’d you get duped this badl-?”

Bowser paused at a light touch from Peach.

“Are you hurt, Lu-Mr. L?”

Luigi paused in his attempts to get Bowser to free him to shoot Peach a suspicious glare. “You a empath or something?”

“No, I just saw you wince just now...and if I’m not mistaken, that’s your scarf wrapped around your arm, correct?”

“...Yeah so? It’s already taken care of.”

Peach clasped her hands and gave Luigi a soft smile. “Well, I can be a pretty good healer. If you want, I can take a look at your arm and do my best to fix you up.”

Luigi frowned for a moment before shooting her a cocky grin. “Well if you insist.”

“Always.” Peach glanced back up at Bowser and gave him one of her sweeter smiles. “If you could let him down?”

Bowser snorted. “Why? I don’t think he deserves to waste any of your ti-” Bowser froze as Peach trailed her hand over one of his. “Please? It’d mean ever so much to me.”

Bowser blinked before looking away before his blush could get to big. “F-Fine. But I’m going to supervise! No way I’m going to let you be alone with this scoundrel! Who knows what he’d do!”

“Of course. Thank you Bowser.”

As Mario moved to follow the three of them to a quieter place in the study, he was stopped by Merlon.

“Mario, if I may speak to you for a moment?”

“Of a course! We didn’ finish our conversation before all of...that.” Mario waved a hand semi-nervously before pushing on. “I a swear, he’s not a normally like that. So if you can help me undo whatever Bleck did to him-”

Merlon placed a hand on Mario’s moving one. “My dear boy; I am afraid there’s nothing I could do, even if I wanted to. Magics of the Mind are a delicate, tricky thing even for the masters of that craft, which I am not. If I were to even attempt what you are asking of me, I fear I would only make things worse.”

Mario’s heart sank. “What. What about the other Sages? Maybe one of them-?”

Merlon shook his head sadly. “I am afraid not. None of us ever desired to study that particular path.”

“Then...is he. Gonna be like this...forever?”

“That I cannot say. As I said the mind is a delicate thing. But it is also wondrous. It can recall the most smallest of details at any given time while continuously capable of creating and holding new memories. Your brother may come to himself in time or he may not. But would he still not be your brother?”

Mario ran a hand through his hair and sighed. “Of course. Luigi will always be my brother. It just. Wouldn’t be the same…”

Merlon nodded. “I understand. In the meantime however, we must stop Count Bleck if we are to have any hope in the future. If you succeed, as the Light Prognosticus foretells, then I shall do all in my power to help you find someone skilled in the Magics of the Mind.”

Mario took a deep breath and sighed.

It wasn’t what he wanted to hear, but at least it was a start and yet another thing for him to fight for against Count Bleck. He would just. Have to be patient.

“Grazie, Merlon. I appreciate it.”

“Of course. Now, tell me, were you able to find another Pure Heart during your last venture? We need eight of them if we are to save all of reality.”

Mario nodded. “I think Luigi still has it.”

Merlon’s eyes widened slightly. “In that case, let us check in with your brother then.”

Relieved that he could rejoin the others, Mario quickly led the way to where they were gathered; where, the closer he got, the more he could hear their conversation.

“...n’t seem to mind if he calls you Luigi.”

“Yeah well. He gets...mopey.”

“Yeah right. Mario doesn’t get ‘mopey’.”

“Well he did and it was pathetic and…”

“...Mr. L?”

“It doesn’t matter. If calling me...Luigi...makes him….happy, then who cares?”

Mario turned the corner just in time to catch Bowser leer at his brother. “Then can I call you ‘Luigi’ too? Since it makes Mario soooo happy?”

Luigi snorted. “You actually calling me by my name would be a first.”

Peach froze, tugging on the needle she was using to sew up the gash on Luigi’s arm hard enough to make him hiss and glare at her. “What was that for?!”

“You. You just said your name was Luigi.”

Luigi frowned. “No I didn’t. I keep telling you, it’s Mr. L.” He jerked a thumb at Bowser. “At least he gets it.”

Peach pursed her lips but before she could say anything, Mario coughed to let them know he was there as well as send a silent apology to Peach for interrupting her.

While privately, he couldn’t help think the more people who called Luigi by his actual name was a good thing, he needed his brother to be in a good enough mood to hand over the Pure Heart without throwing a fit about it first.

“Hiya bro!”

Luigi narrowed his eyes slightly. “What do you want?”

Merlon stepped forward. “I was told you held the next Pure Heart. May I see it?”

Luigi snorted and rolled his eyes. “That hunk of rock? Sure, be my guest.” Reaching into a pocket, Luigi pulled it out and practically chunked it at them, Mario just barely catching it in time.

“Luigi.”

His brother smirked. “You never said how you wanted the dumb thing. Figured I’d give it to you the fastest way how.”

Mario was about to throw his hat at Luigi’s obnoxious face when a quiet “Oh dear.” beside him gave him pause.

“Merlon? Is a something wrong?”

The old wizard sighed. “I’m afraid so. I do not feel any energy or power emitting from this Pure Heart. I fear, that if you were to put this in a Heart Pillar, it would do nothing.”

Mario felt cold.

“What are you trying to say old man? That that’s it? There’s nothing we can do?” Bowser nearly shouted.

Marlon shrugged helplessly. “Without all eight Pure Hearts, you cannot stop Count Bleck and his destruction. We have seven and yet...one of them is powerless…”

A sharp bark of laughter interrupted him and all eyes turned to Luigi.

“This isn’t funny!” Bowser growled at him. “Sure it is, you three junior heroes spent all that time running around, trying to stop us and just when you get to the finish line, you trip and fall!” Luigi shot Bowser a cruel look. “I mean in your case, at least, you should be used to this.”

Steam practically erupted from Bowser’s mouth as he glared right back at Luigi. “And what’s that supposed to mean?!”

“Exactly what it sou-” Mario slapped a hand over his brother’s mouth after darting between the two of them.

“How a bout. We just all take a couple of deep breaths. And a talk a things through.”

He took a deep breath and hoped it didn’t sound as ragged to everyone else at it did to him. “Merlon. There has to a be a something we can do.”

Peach grabbed his free hand and gave him an encouraging squeeze. “Mario’s right. We’ve come so close, lost so much already. We can’t give up.”

“I’m not saying you should give up. It’s just that we are alas, between a rock and a hard place as the saying goes.”

“A ha ha ha. What a sad group of so-called heroes we have here. One broken toy, a missing puzzle piece and they all fall to pieces.”

Mario stiffened. No.

No.

Not here. Not now. Not when he had enough on his plate without adding one more headache to the mix.

“Who’s there?” Merlon called and, almost as if those words summoned him into existence, Dimentio materialized above them, looking as if he had told the world’s funniest joke.

Glaring, Mario took his hands off of Luigi and Peach. “What do you a want?!”

Dimentio pressed a hand against his chest in mock surprise. “Me? I just want to offer my help!”

“The day you help someone is the day I throw away my tools.” Luigi muttered darkly. “What are you really doing?”

“You wound me with your words, L. I am nothing but helpful!”

“Didn’t you try to kill me?!”

Dimentio laughed. “Oh you do remember that! And here I was thinking you’d shut down past the point of no return when I shared with you the truth of your little existence!”

“Get to the point, Dimentio” Luigi snarled with enough venom that even Bowser gave him a second look.

“Fine, fine, you’ve twisted my arm. The ‘point’ I’ve come to share with you all is that there is no way in this world to restore the Pure Heart! It’s useless! Forever!”

“HOW IS THAT HELPFUL?!” Bowser roared.

Mario wasn’t sure, but it seemed like Dimentio’s smile widened.

“It’s helpful because it means you are all too disheartened to notice...this.” Dimentio raised his arms and the air rippled.

“YOU BACKSTABBING INSANE TWO FACED COGLIONE!” Luigi howled. “LET ME OUT OF THIS BOX RIGHT NOW SO I CAN RIP THAT STUPID MASK OFF YOUR FACE!”

Dimentio tapped his chin and hummed. “Tempting L, reeeal tempting but I’m afraid I have to decline your offer.”

Luigi gave another screech of rage before the sound of something hitting something solid echoed through the room.

Tentatively, Mario reached forward and found his fingers stop at an invisible wall. This. Wasn’t good.

Worriedly, he looked over at Peach who also had an arm outstretched, fingers stopping at an invisible wall as well.

Looking on the other side of him, he watched as both Luigi and Bowser attempted to break past the invisible barriers with brute force.

Reaching out a hand to try to pull Luigi back before he broke something, Mario was horrified to find another wall between him and his brother. Panicked, he tried to grab Peach’s free hand but discovered there was a barrier between them as well.

They. They were all in separate boxes.

He’d let go of them. And now he couldn’t reach them.

“Since your little quest has ended in vain, I figured I might as well give you all a consolation prize.”

“DON’T YOU FUCKING DARE!” Luigi roared before there was a sudden onslaught of blasts within each of the boxes that felt hotter and more intense than the last until after what felt like an eternity, there was nothing.

.

.

.

When Mario next woke up, he found himself in a grassy, almost jungle like place that was, according to the first person he’d met, the Underwhere. Which was where all souls came when they’d died.

Which meant...he’d failed.

And what was worse, not only did he fail the worlds and his friends, but that they were probably dead too.

And while he had a feeling Dimentio would have killed them anyway, he couldn’t help but wonder if the way the jester had done it was because he’d thrown a bomb at him.

And while he still couldn’t dredge up any regret for his actions (he’d gotten Luigi back. Somewhat. He could never regret that.) He did feel regret that the bomb hadn’t been enough to stop Dimentio completely or more permanently.

But.

He did what he always did. He got up and kept going.

And...maybe things weren’t as bad as that first shade made it out to be.

Queen Jaydes seemed nice; he didn’t mind looking for this Luvbi person for her.

And...and she had mentioned that someone else like him had fallen into the Underwhere. Someone in green.

It was a long shot, but there was only one person Mario knew used that color as a signifier. And and even if he still didn’t have his memory and was more prone to starting a fight than avoiding one, Mario could deal with it!

Because it would mean that Luigi was still okay! That they could work together, hopefully find the others and maybe just maybe make it back to Flipside and figure out how to stop Count Bleck with just six pure hearts; seven if they could find the last one.

It could all work out. He just had to keep hoping; stay positive and everything would turn out fi-

A familiar sounding voice groaned causing Mario to ignore everything in his surroundings and run towards it.

He caught sight of a familiar shade of green hiding behind a rock and it took everything in him to tamp down the hope that bubbled up in him at the sight. It was just the scarf he was seeing. Or. Or the hat.

Luigi would still be wearing that black jumpsuit, wouldn’t he?

The closer he got, Mario could hear his brother mumbling.

“...underlings grabbed me; I remember that. And then. And then.” A frustrated hiss escaped him. “Why can’t I remember anything else?”

“Luigi?”

Luigi looked up from behind his rock, confusion coloring his face for a second as it landed on Mario before lighting up.

“Bro? Bro!”

Before Mario could even say another word, Luigi was moving and had nearly tackled him as he gave him a bone crushing hug.

“I don’t know where we are, but I’m happy we’re together! I missed you Bro!”

Mario carefully pulled away from the hug and swept his eyes over Luigi, half-afraid that if he looked away, his brother would turn into Mr. L again, or worse, vanish into thin air.

“Mario? Are you okay?”

Mario sniffed and rubbed his eyes. “Y-Yeah. I’mma fine. I just. I missed you too.”

Luigi gave him a small smile and patted his shoulder. “Well I’mma a here now.” He looked around and frowned. “Speaking of which, where are we?”

“The Underwhere. It’s uh. The place people go when they die.”

“Huh.”

“...you. Don’t seem surprised.”

Luigi shrugged and then winced, rubbing gently at his arm. “I dunno...I guess it a makes sense? I think I’ve been here awhile...I don’t remember anything past Bowser and Peach’s wedding…” he frowned a little.

“What did I do to my arm? It feels like I pulled it or something.”

“Maybe you a landed on it wrong!”

Luigi blinked. “...Maybe.”

Mario gave him a wide smile, hoping his brother would buy the explanation and drop it. He didn’t like lying to Luigi but what was he supposed to tell him? He cut it after a fight with him because he got brainwashed to be evil?

He didn’t think his brother would take that well.

And...if Luigi didn’t remember being Mr. L, and was back to being his regular, kind-hearted self, then...what was the point of ever bringing up what he’d been up to before falling into the Underwhere?

It didn’t matter.

Not anymore.

It was all in the past and unlikely to ever come back up again in conversation with...anyone.

He’d have to talk to Peach and Bowser first, of course, but he was sure they’d agree with him.

Luigi didn’t ever have to know about Mr. L.

Mario would take that experience with him to his grave.

Smile turning more warm, Mario offered his hand to Luigi.

“C’mon. I can fill you in on what you missed as we look for someone else down here. It’ll be like you were there the whole time!”

Luigi grinned and took his hand. “Sounds like a plan, Mario. Lead the way!”

[itsdisneymydudes]

I’m Gonna Wreck It

Another movie I haven’t seen, another live blog! This week I’ll be checking out Wreck-It Ralph. Truth be told, idk why I haven’t seen this before: video game and arcade jokes? What’s not to love omg.

Oh my god, 8-bit Disney Animation logo with complimentary 8-bit music. It’s perfect.

Wait a minute...is Ralph really the bad guy if the bulldozer moved his stump first? I can kinda understand his aggression seeing as they hit first. He’s only responding...with fists...

Fastest way to get exposition is to have John C. Riley narrate over a video game lemme tell ya. And the premise makes a lot of sense. Ralph does his job. It just so happens that that job is to wreck everything. And get thrown off a roof. Into mud. Medal-less.

Lol @the-kid​-who-says-“This animation is so real.” I see you, Disney. I see you.

Whoa. Just whoa. The arcade time lapse is so full of old video game references, there is no way you could catch them all in one viewing. Damn, Disney really went all out with the royalties for this movie. Pac-man, Asteroids, Frogger, TMNT, this is beautiful.

And we’re still less than 3 minutes into this movie. Oh, this is gonna be good.

Aw, Ralph wants to love his job but hates it at the same time. Is this gonna be a mid-life crisis told through video games? Please say yes.

Lolololol this is like a modern version of Toy Story. All the video games come to life once the people leave. Oh and Street Fighter II? That could not have been easy to get in this movie (and they only use it for a quick joke about grabbing a drink after work, too. Now that’s dedication to making your world believable).

I’m loving this translation of choppy 8-bit video game motions into a 3D animated world. It’s a subtle touch, but one that makes everything more realistic imo.

Also, loving the meta-humor where Ralph literally wrecks everything he touches. Even the bushes fall over after he brushes them.

Aw, Ralph’s true motivations are coming through... :(

Lol a Bad-Anon meeting? Idk what’s better: the fact that it’s a play on Alcohol Anonymous or the fact that they used Anon from Internet slang.

Nope, I change my mind. The best part about this is how many video game baddies they have here. Bowser, Kano, Dr. Robotnik, Blinky the Ghost, I just can’t believe it.

Aw, the bad guys are really trying to explain to Ralph why being bad isn’t necessarily a bad thing. That’s nice.

Oh my god, Kano just ripped Zombie’s heart out. That’s hilarious. Fatality (except Zombie is already dead...).

Lol. Thanks, Satan.

I like how everyone freaks out when Ralph says he doesn’t want to be the bad guy anymore. Society has rules, and if Ralph is trying to break them in the slightest (”go Turbo”), then everyone loses their minds. Even for bad guys, you still gotta follow the rules.

Whoa. Blinky is right. Don’t try and change who you are to be better, accept who you are to be a better you. Damn, deep stuff.

AHHH THE BAD-ANON MEETING WAS IN BLINKY’S RESPAWN BOX FOR PAC-MAN. THAT’S ABSOLUTE GOLD.

Oh my god Game Central Station is magnificent. The gates are outlet faces, and there are so many video game characters there. This is amazing.

Lol “All aboard the Soul Train, outlet 12.” Nice throwback.

Oooo a “random security check” always pulling aside Ralph. Not-so-subtle discrimination allegory. I like it. Also, Lara Croft name-dropping is always a good touch.

Sonic is in this movie too??? Marvelous. Simply marvelous.

Holy crap, Q*bert is homeless because their game got unplugged??? Snake too??? Oh my god that’s right in the feels. Aw and Ralph gives them his cherry. That’s so sweet. Gah this is gonna be an emotional roller coaster of a movie.

Lolololol is that supposed to be Skrillex?

Ralph and Felix’s conversation is so awkward. That makes me sad :(

Ah, Ralph is already breaking stuff. Ah and Felix’s respawn animation. Too cute.

Two things: 1) why are the apartment people so effing rude. Were they raised in a bar? Jfc. 2) I’m loving how anti-social Ralph is. Yea, you tell em buddy. Stick it to the man.

As sad as Ralph wrecking the cake is, you gotta appreciate the pixelated cake-splatter everywhere.

Oh my gosh how did I not see this before?! Tapper is an old video game too! Golly gee, references are everywhere!!!

Super mushrooms and Metal Gear exclamation points in the lost-and-found! Brilliant!

Oh, I get it. Hero’s Duty is supposed to be a cross between Halo and Call of Duty. Modern games are in this movie too. Smashing.

Is that Jane Lynch???? Oh heck yes!

“First Person Shooter coming through.” Niceeeeeeee.

This dubstep-space-robot-bug-thingy-shooter sequence is FUCKING AWESOME. HOLY NUTS WHY CAN’T ALL DISNEY MOVIES BE LIKE THIS.

Even in this chaotic shooting game, “formation” and social constructs are paramount. Damn, society. You scary.

Ralph and the “old video games” calling out the “new video games” for being scary. Got em.

Ha. A giant blue beam to zap all the bugs with. Cute.

Subway product placement? Huh. Interesting.

Also, the jerk guys who are clearly way older than the marketed arcade demographic are total jerks. Realistic arcade representation though. Every arcade has em.

Oh snap. Now I know why “sticking to the program” is so important. If games don’t, then they can be shut down for good. That’s so dark, Disney.

Ah now I wanna learn Q*bert-ese. That sounds really fun.

Also, it’s funny to see how much the village people (pun intended) need Ralph now after they berated him for “wrecking everything.” Yea, karma bitch.

I like how smitten Felix is for high-definition characters. Lol innuendo.

Are the cybug eggs supposed to be a reference to the eggs from Aliens? If so, I approve.

Aw, Ralph just wants everyone’s approval. That’s so sad :( Poor Ralph.

The little cybug just jumped on Ralph’s face. Totally a reference to Aliens.

Hahahahaha. Sonic lost his rings!

Sugar Rush is a mix between Mario Kart and Candyland right? That’s sweet (yes, pun intended again).

Also, that’s a theme catchy song.

I can’t believe that’s Sarah Silverman!

Whoa was that a glitch...? Do they have those in this movie?

If cybugs are viruses, does that mean Hero’s Duty is like the Norton Antivirus of the arcade then? Lol that’d be a riveting game.

Pay-to-play for this racing competition seems like it guarantees the richest racers will always race…it’s almost like the top 1% of racers will always stay at the top…hey wait a minute, Disney…

I like how the coins dissolve in to 0’s and 1’s. It’s the little details that make this movie awesome.

Oh no, Ralph’s medal got dissolved…

So Vanellope is a glitch. Whoa.

Haha. The cops are donuts. Got em.

Is that Ralph or Shrek?

AH IS THIS SUPPOSED TO BE A REPRESENTATION OF POLICE BRUTALITY??? AH DISNEY I SEE YOU

Whoa, glitch discrimination. That’s some deep stuff yo.

THE OREOS ARE FROM THE WIZARD OF OZ I’M GONNA McFREAKIN’ LOSE IT

Children of the Candy Corn? There are so many references in this movie that I highly doubt younger audiences will recognize.

Lol. Fun-geon. Pun-geon. Aha, ok. I’m done-geon. Oh my god. It went full circle.

A Darth Vader breathing reference? What doesn’t this movie have???

Pixlexia? Is that a play on dyslexia?

Holy fuck, these racers are awful. They’re destroying Vanellope’s car just cuz she’s different? WTF.

Yay! Ralph to the rescue!

Haha. Ralph can break everything except a jawbreaker. Just like I remember them.

Oh snap. Nvm, he did.

Why would a creepy character like Turbo be the hero of a racing game? He sure doesn’t look like a hero…

Also, good exposition for the word “Turbo.”

Ahaha. Nesquik-sand. I love Nesquik. But I hate sand. It’s rough. And course. And it gets everywhere (lol, ok I’m done).

Aha Laffy Taffy that laugh. This movie is full of puns too? Oh I am in love.

Aaaaand insert obligatory Disney romance subplot here.

Lol. Gunshots are the fastest way to silence unwanted singing.

Oh my gosh. Candy-cybugs???

Is Vanellope calling Ralph “Knuckles” supposed to be a Sonic the Hedgehog reference? If so, I love it.

Lolololol did she just call him GLaDOS too??? Gold!!!

A game within a game. Game-ception? Nope, a mini-game!

Aw Vanellope and Ralph are bonding.

AW VANELLOPE LOVES THE CAR RALPH MADE FOR HER. THAT’S SO FUCKING PRECIOUS.

I get the vibe I’m not supposed to like King Candy, but his puns save me. Spiritually, ethically, psychologically. Everything.

Ahhhhh the ol’ Mentos and Diet Coke trick. Good one.

Whoa. The parallels between Vanellope and Ralph are striking, sure. But the fact that she can’t even leave her game because she’s a glitch? That’s hard stuff. At least Ralph can go where he pleases. Damn, Disney.

Lol, Vanellope learning to drive is exactly how I was in driver’s ed. “What do these pedals on the floor do?”

Vanellope has a chance to win if she can “get that glitch under control?” That totally undermines the entire message of the movie thus far! What the heck!

AAAAAAAHHHHH THE UP-UP-DOWN-DOWN-LEFT-RIGHT-LEFT-RIGHT-B-A-START CHEAT CODE!!!!!! YES!!!!!!!!

Aw, even Vanellope’s code is alienated from the rest of the game…

Lol, come on Felix. Put a trigger warning on before you say “Dynamite gal.”

HOLY FUCK VANELLOPE WILL DIE IF SHE WINS THE RACE. OH MY GOD KING CANDY’S LOGIC MAKES SENSE BUT HOLY FUCK THAT’S AWFUL. JESUS DISNEY WHY DO YOU HAVE TO DO THIS TO ME.

AAAAHHH VANELLOPE MADE RALPH A MEDAL OH MY GOD THIS IS TOO MUCH

AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH RALPH NO NOT THE CAR OH MY FUCKING GOD NO NO NO NO NO

This movie is really sending mixed signals about being bad. Is it good to be bad? Is it bad to be bad? Are bad guys just alone no matter which way they try to be?

Waaaaaiiiit a minute. Why is Vanellope on the side of the arcade game if she’s a glitch? Game makers wouldn’t do that…what’s going on…

Lol, I literally just thought of that Ralph. No fair.

Haha. Candy-coated Heart of Darkness. The horror. The horror.

Jesus, eating Sour Bill is like dunking him in acid. Ralph is twisted, wow oh wow.

Whoa. Jeez how omnipotent is King Candy? He forcibly made Vanellope a glitch, then locked up everyone’s memories of her? Whoa.

The game will reset if Vanellope crosses the finish line? Hm….

Also, nice “stick around” pun, Ralph.

Lol. Felix making the bars stronger is great.

So is Ralph returning to being bad…by doing something good? Again, what is this movie trying to say! Be good or be bad??? Be bad with good intentions??? Jeez, I’ve never had such an identity crisis over a movie before!

Haha. The assorted fans with nuts are the Cameron Crazies. Nice touch.

Ooooooo I love the camera pan-around for the racecars! Just like in Mario Kart!

Ah someone even spun out before the start! Didn’t get the timing right, eh?

Now that’s what I call pod-racing!

Ayyy nice. Vanellope’s glitch moved her ahead of those Mean-Girl-esque candy racers!

Damn, Vanellope is 2 fast 2 furious for King Candy (with a little Tokyo Drift thrown in there for good measure).

Oh my god. It all makes sense now. King Candy is Turbo. He passed his glitch on to Vanellope so she’d be the outcast and not him. But Vanellope inadvertently passed it back to him and exposed him. Whoa.

Oh nice, another literary reference. On the “Come back soon” sign, it says “Parting is such sweet sorrow…” from Romeo and Juliet. Nice one (and a good pun too).

Oh god, Vanellope still can’t leave the game.

No no no she can’t die. No no no don’t do it, Disney.

Oh I see. Ralph is using his bad wrecking powers for good. Ohhhhhh.

Ohhhh snap. Now Turbo is game-hopping virus. Shit.

OH NO. NO NO NO. IS RALPH GONNA DIE???

Oh. He didn’t. Good.

Wait, is Vanellope getting a dress? Aw come on, Disney. I thought we were done with gender stereotyping.

Whoa, what??? Princess Vanellope??? Yo way to go!!!

Yea, Vanellope, yea! Execute those suckers! Fuck em up!!!

Aw, she was just kidding. Darn it.

Lol, constitutional democracy? President Vanellope? Yea, I’d vote for her.

Jesus, even with a happy ending, Disney has to play with my heart. Why does Ralph have to say goodbye. Why why why.

Aw a nice sweet happy ending where everybody wins. Good ol’ Disney.

HOLY CRAP RALPH CAN SEE VANELLOPE RACING WHEN HE GETS THROWN OFF THE BUILDING THAT IS SO FREAKING CUTE OH MY GOSH

AHHHHH WHAT A PERFECT ENDING. WHAT A PERFECT LAST LINE. AHHHHH THIS MOVIE IS SO PERFECT. I CAN’T HANDLE THIS RIGHT NOW GAAAAAHHHHHH

OH MY GOODNESS JUST WHEN I THOUGHT THIS MOVIE COULDN’T GET ANY BETTER. THE PAC-MAN ENDGAME GLITCH IS AT THE END OF THE CREDITS DURING THE DISNEY LOGO. HOW PERFECT IS THAT!?!?!? AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

This movie is beautiful. Just simply beautiful.