#incorrect spy 2011 quotes

[jamiewintons]

Tim: You don't know how to do a backflip.

Chris: Tim, I do backflips every single day of my life.

Tim: No you don't. I have never seen you… Do a backflip right now, please. Can I see one? Let's see one!

Chris: Well, I need to conserve energy and that's, you know... Come on...

[violent-backed-starling]

Chris: I have a salsa emergency!

Philip: The condiment or the dance? I am equipped for both.

[mallratsys]

Whizzer: Ya know what? Jason is right. You are hebetudinous!

Marvin: Yeah well, I still dont know what that word means!

[shakeel786blog]

Ex-Israeli spy chief: Netanyahu planned Iran strike in 2011

Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu gave the order in 2011 for the military to prepare to attack Iran within 15 days, a former Mossad chief said in remarks released on Thursday.

Tamir Pardo, who served as head of the Israeli intelligence agency from 2011 to 2016, told Israeli Keshet TV’s investigative show Uvda that the order was not given “for the sake of a drill,” according to excerpts of the interview released ahead of the broadcast on Thursday evening.

“When he tells you to start the countdown process, you know that he isn’t playing games with you,” Pardo is quoted as saying. “These things have enormous significance.”

There was no immediate comment from Netanyahu’s office on Pardo’s claim.

On Wednesday, Netanyahu said Israel “will not allow Iran to arm itself with nuclear weapons. We will continue to act against its intentions to establish itself militarily in Syria besides us, not just opposite the Golan Heights, but any place in Syria.”

Pardo’s claim comes as archenemies Israel and Iran are fighting a shadow war in Syria, which briefly threatened to burst into full-blown conflagration this month after Israel bombed Iranian positions in Syria, killing Iranian fighters after an alleged Iranian rocket barrage toward the Israeli-controlled Golan Heights.

In February, Israel shot down what it said was an armed Iranian drone that entered Israeli airspace. Israel responded by attacking anti-aircraft positions in Syria, and an Israeli warplane was shot down during the battle.

Israel has increasingly warned that it sees Iranian influence in Syria as a threat, pointing to Iran’s military presence inside the country as well as that of Iranian-backed militiamen.

Netanyahu has long been a strident critic of Iran and has accused Tehran of attempting to develop nuclear weapons and long range ballistic missiles. Ex-prime minister Ehud Barak, who served as Netanyahu’s defense minister in 2011, has previously claimed Netanyahu sought to bomb Iran in 2010 and 2011, but was opposed by senior Israeli officials.

Pardo said that upon receiving the command, he sought “clarifications about everything I could, I checked with legal advisers, I consulted with everyone I could to understand who is authorized to give the order concerning launching a war.”

According to the excerpts, Pardo said he wanted “to be certain that if, heaven forbid, something incorrect happened, even if the mission failed, that there won’t be a situation where I carried out an illegal operation.”

It wasn’t clear from the preview what happened after Netanyahu’s purported order but Israel never carried out a strike on Iran in 2011.

Netanyahu has recently intensified his criticism of the nuclear agreement reached between world powers and Iran in 2015. President Donald Trump withdrew the United States from that deal earlier this month.

There is also a concerted effort by Netanyahu’s administration to convince Russia to pressure Iran to withdraw its forces from war-torn Syria.

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[jamiewintons]

Marcus: Hello Chris. 1996 called, it wants its clothes back.

Chris: Hey Marcus. 2090 called, you’re dead and you wasted your time on Earth.

[jamiewintons]

Chris: It's a good thing I still have my sexy cat costume from Halloween.

Tim: I really don't think you were the target audience for that item, Chris.

Chris: There is nothing gendered about a sexy cat.

[jamiewintons]

Chris: Hey while I have you, can I ask you a question?

Tim: Shoot!

Chris: What if Y/N asks me if I've been married?

Tim: Have you?!

Chris: No.

Tim: Well then say that.

Chris: But then she’ll wonder why I haven't been married. You know what I'm gonna do, I'm gonna say that I was married. The real question is should I say that I have kids? Girls like guys that have kids right?

Tim: Whoa.

[violent-backed-starling]

Chris: I think I found a away to make money.

Tim: You'd make a decent stripper.

Chris: I'd make an AMAZING stripper, but that's not what I'm talking about.

[violent-backed-starling]

Tim: What do we say when life disappoints us?

Chris: Called it!

Tim: No.

[violent-backed-starling]

Tim: What are those dead bodies doing there?!?

Chris: Honestly, not much.

[violent-backed-starling]

Tim: I need advice.

Chris: *eating cookie dough for breakfast*

Chris: You came to the right person.

[violent-backed-starling]

Tim: What kinds of sounds annoy you?

Chris: Are we talking real sounds or imaginary ones?

Tim: *now interested* Lets say imaginary.

Chris: Spiders wearing flip flops.

[violent-backed-starling]

Chris: Punch me in the face!

Tim: Punch you?

Chris: Yes, punch me. In the face. Didn't you hear me?

Tim: I always hear 'punch me in the face' when you're speaking, but it's usually subtext.

[violent-backed-starling]

Tim: I have a bad feeling about this.

Chris: What do you mean?

Tim: Don't you ever get that little voice in your head that tells you if something is going to get you in trouble?

Chris: No?

Tim: That actually explains so much.

[violent-backed-starling]

Tim: Where are you going?

Chris: To either get ice cream or commit a felony. I'll decide in the car.

[violent-backed-starling]

Tim: Did you just hiss at me?

Chris: I do that when I reach my limit of stupid questions.