#incredibly touch starved so this isnt just a 'if they want to treat me like this they can'

[nihiltism]

realtalk you guys probably dont need to know about but i know like zero weirdromantic people in real life, i think my cuddlebuddy might still be in love with me but also i dont think i mind at all. my default un-filtered way of showing affection to close friends Is near impossible to differentiate from romantic affection and i dont mind being treated with affection that is probably romantic as long as the other party doesn't expect romantic love or exclusivity from me, or lead anybody outside of us to make assumptions on our relationship. and like. i doubt they care since what i do is so close to romantic anyway. its not really leading anybody on if we've talked about it

[icharchivist]

hello icha!!!!! learned from my mistakes and typed this out in a separate document. first i have to say im feeling a very deep connection with citron as of late bc i was giving myself a pep talk abt like physics and i told myself "face up and man the music!" and was like "...is that wrong. theres that song called man against the music isnt there... yeah it must be right" and. well i realized later. i also think the phrase "dont cry because it happened, smile because its over" is very good. also I’m halfway thru creating a very eclectic list of like. a Pokémon team for each a3 character which is… something. kinda knew it would happen to me. might take a while for me to finish it tho now that I’m halfway bc I’m suddenly having a crisis like “wait shit I’m only confident on my understanding and characterizing of like 4 characters am I good enough” so… it’s slow going lol. anyways. i finished that damn physics thing I was giving myself a pep talk about and so am treating myself to autumn/winter. happens that watching these events is also like. the only thing which reminds me to actually like. log into a3 lol. i am so bad at gacha games. probably a good thing in the long run. ok starting from the top!

hisoka going "zzz" as his reaction made me immediately go... oh dear, please dont fall asleep in the bath and guess what happened. yeah. good thing homare was there lol. speaking of i fucking adore homare and his poetry. id buy his collection. i also wish there was a collection like if there was a master list of every poem he says in like. at the very least main story. if not i will literally do it myself. i love homare so much im like him in that back when i had to play dodgeball id always be like kufufufu they cant hit me if im friendless enough that no one pays attention to me but like in my case it actually worked out. on the subject of the pillow fight tho, hisoka's crazy strong pillow fight throw... one more mark on the list for suspicious, maybe assassin occupation. this event made me realize how much i missed winter like. i saw the stranger pretty recently (which has caused the effect of be being like "taichi!! thats my boy!!" in my head everytime he shows up lol but anyways i havent gotten to a winter play yet so im VERY hype. especially bc this seems like it stars hisoka and homare??? like oh!! oh!!!! also detective fiction... im swooning. i also just enjoy the hisoka homare dynamic a whole fucking lot i think its nice how homare was like "yeah im ride or die for this funky lil amnesiac, why wouldnt you be?" and its just like. nice. feel like hes always reaching out to hisoka which is like. man homare is so nice.

back to chronology. ofc sakyo goes cheap for the hot springs lol. on brand as ever. was very hype for the azuma sakyo dynamic bc all i remember is like azuma trashing everyone including sakyo at some game or the other in one of the winter chapters and it was very good. or was this a clip in like a stage play? either way it was delightful. at first i misinterpreted taichi going "…" after azuma and sakyo said theyd never been on a field trip bc like. taichi being quiet or noncommunicative... after going thru autumn troupe act 1 it makes me fear for my life a little lol. anyways im glad he was just like planning fun times. speaking of taichi tho we got a tasuku taichi pair for etudes!!!! im not spoiling myself for later events but i hope to GOD tasuku and taichi do like a lead co lead in SOMETHING or at least like some mixed troupe event i want them to talk!!!

also dunno if this is an intentional pun but i enjoy that its called high spirits at the hot spring bc like oh theyre having fun but also bc like. "spirits" is used to refer to a certain type of alcohol i think? which is cool. dunno if its intentional but i liked that. anyways the talent show. taichis moving rendition of single ladies... ok i know it said single fellas but like. we know. wonder if that line was a different song in japanese? its not too old at ALL tho imo. anyways the way banri and juza being themselves Are the entertainment... flashback to when banri slaps juza live on stage instead of doing a stage slap lol. my reaction to azuma essentially went:

azuma: I can offer to bare my soul, and a little more ;)

izumi: what do u mean by that???

me: hey tasuku and omi were shirtless what's ur problem with azuma

anyways i reread and from what i understand they were maybe only flexing and doing a gun show? which like. no wonder it didnt last too long then lol. also explains why they didnt have shirtless sprites i suppose lmao. i am SO curious abt what azuma ended up doing tho that fade to black is so mysterious! did he tap dance? did he pole dance? the world will never know...

oh also im not like super familiar with azuma yet but my read on his personality is definitely like "I am so touch starved All The Time but I will be chill. :) :) this is fine :)" like he just seems to rly like being around people! just like basking in presence whether or not hes rly talking that much.

i enjoyed that juza mentioned pillow fighting with his lil brother... thats nice! i think a lot of this event was just focused on ppl having fun over the drama lol bc it got wrapped up sooo quick. i liked the bit where sakyos worried that izumi was out late searching for him tho it was so sweet. table tennis match was very fun although id argue calling hisoka and juza the two quietest tho lol like... banri exists so juza isnt quiet. just like inevitably. finally, the event cg!!! azumas hair tied up... so nice! thats how I tie my hair up sometimes tho it doesnt look nearly as nice lol. taichi rambling abt his first love for so long tho... lol. ill be honest i have to reread autumn bc i was not aware of this whole situation until it came up in the stranger and i like inferred from there. the end of this event was nice! it was cute. i dont rly have much thoughts on it but im so hype for the winter play

Hello:!!! so good to see you again, freshly learning from your mistakes then :3c

the connection with Citron is a BLAST to read about. I am glad that Citron is there, on your mind, supporting you at every turns of language. It's beautiful.

AND OH THE POKEMON LIST!!! thrilled to hear about it being a wip ongoing! take your time ofc and i hope you'll feel more confident as you go for your characters interpretation! i believe in you!

lmao i'm glad the events help you remember to play a3, i'm sure that by the time you'll be done with the events you will have unlocked so much of act 2 you won't have to worry too much about it. Anyway i'm glad you treat yourself to good things :3c

of course Hisoka fell asleep in the bath. tbh this event was a lot of "Hisoka almost dies in a spring house multiple times if it wasn't for his troupesmates". Between sleeping in the bath and almost swallowing the table tenis ball... where would we be without Winter, and especially Homare, taking care fo him.

I'm SO GLAD you like Homare that much! he's so so good! i'm sure there must be a masterlist somewhere, or well. can be done anytime i guess?? but yeah Homare is fantastic and LDJFDLKFJDF the evil plan to avoid dodgeball from both of you.. this is incredible DLKJFDLKF. But yeah alas he's loved by his own so he gets hit smh.

And yeah Hisoka is just acting sus huh.

BUT YEAH... YEAH... WINTER... BELOVED.... I feel regular and normal feelings for Winter as you know, s o .

(i'm so delighted that you feel that way about Taichi though, as he deserves!! what a good boy!!!)

But yeah Winter play next!!!!! i love the winter plays so much i hope you'll like it as well!! aND YEAH HISOKA AND HOMARE AS A DUO... for a DETECTIVE story?? so good.

I'm sO GLAD you like their dynamic! yeah i adore it too. Homare was so quick to leap into taking care of Hisoka? Like i mean he immediatly called him sleeping beauty when they first met, and immediately decided to be his roommates to watch over him, and then he did everything to take care of him and it's just so sweet. Homare has such a big heart he's so gentle with Hisoka. Homey and comfortable, whenever Hisoka admits it or not ahah.

ahah wouldn't be Sakyo if he didn't need to stay cheap. BUT YEAH the Sakyo/Azuma dynamic is pretty good. oh the event you talk about i think is in some of his very first backstage storyes (that you can read if you have them since they're at this point of the chronology). There's one where they play a mafia game and Sakyo is warry of Azuma because "people like him are those you need to worry about the most" and Azuma is just ":) you wound me :) i would never :)" and then Azuma wins the game and starts to mess with everyone. It was so fun. and yeah i see which clip you mean for the stage play!! it's so so fun they have such a neat dynamic and i loved to see it in this event as well.

and omg worrying about Taichi while he was just there preparing a fun time! this child really would have worried us all back then huh

but AHH YEAH TASUKU TAICHI.... It's such a neat dynamic! ofc i won't say anything but man i love the potential of their stories, as the two ex Godza boys. To see them bond and be comfortable with each other always make me so soft.

OH NICE CATCH FOR THE PUN! i think it must be the reason for it tbh, i love it! thanks for pointing it out!

The talent show was really fun yeah ahah! I wonder what it is in Japanese too but at least the localization was hella fun!

"anyways the way banri and juza being themselves Are the entertainment." THEY'RE SO SILLY I love them so much

AND LMAO YOUR REACTION AT AZUMA I LOVE IT. YEah i think Tasuku and Omi are just flexing (which is Still. SO FUNNY. Just there saying "our talents is.. our muscles...") meanwhile Azuma is like "my talent is that i'm crazy hot :)"

But YEAH Azuma... AZUMA WHAT DID YOU DO....

your read on Azuma's personality feels pretty spot on to me ahah omg. Staying with what you know about him, the fact that with his job and all, he seems like he's starving for connection while also terrified to make himself emotionally vulnerable. He loves staying with people, listening to them, caring for them, and he's touch starved as hell (i mean it's his job) but he doesn't seem to really know how to be on the receiving hand of affection. there's a flair talk, i can't remember where, with Omi at some point, where Azuma compliments him, and Omi is just "mhm.. but you know i think that it's more about you" and ends up complimenting Azuma in depth and it let Azuma dumbfounded because he didn't expect Omi to trick him at his own game, while Omi just genuinely don't get why Azuma is reacting that way. He gives he gives he gives, and he's genuinely happy with that, but he seems to have difficulties to take, or to demand for something, while also starving for it. I have so many emotions for Azuma.

Any mentions of Juza's little bro are the best things. I love this type of mention TwT

And yeah it was such a laid back event. Honestly deserved after the crying fest that was The Stranger imo. It's good to relax once in a while and it was nice to have them have fun. There was the bitterness of both Azuma and Sakyo's past that was always a bit looming but everyone was working so hard for them to enjoy themselves that the joy just overtake any sadness i loved it.

Sakyo worrying about Izumi is always adorable TwT

And yeah the Table Tennis match was so fun and chaotic LMAO. I love the dynamic between Juza and Hisoka. Just two usually quiet boys who like sweets. Except that yeah like you say, as long as Banri is around, Juza cannot be 100% quiet. Rip.

THE CG WAS SO PRETTY i loved seeing it. And omg you can share your hairtips with Azuma how nice :D Azuma manages to make everything look beautiful smh....

Oh yeah Taichi and his first love! if i recall he mentions it quickly at the begining, that Yuki reminds him of his first love, and he says that again at some point - then the fake Portrait he does he mentions his first love again. And since then it's been a reccuring topic so yeh :3c

but yeah! this event was really sweet and laid back, not much to say about it, but it was nice to have it at all!

Hope you'll like the winter play :3c

Take care and thank you again for your thoughts <33 i love reading them!! bless you!!

[jackalopefreckles]

I feel like Ive aged at least 6 years since covid started. Im angrier. Less adapted to being outside then I used to be- which is saying a lot. This time last year I was?? Actually healthier mentally then I had ever been and looking forward to having the house alone for a month which?? Was the most freedom I wouldve ever had.

A lots fucking changed. I drove halfway across the country- all 30 hours at once with my big brother AND two elderly dogs, plus my cat. All animals on too many drugs (the vet said they couldnt overdose, and then failed to give any further instruction) cami peed on herself twice, unable to move. I had to waterboard her in Phoenix, a truly terrifying hell city where all the roads are raised and overlapping and its a hot as shit cause its?? What june?? Time was so fake this year I mustve just been stoned the whole time till I ran out of weed, and since moving its been a relief to be able to turn off the spinning anxious thoughts for a few hours

my big brother joined us. He brought a new dog with him which?? Is always a lot, plus I have this pack of dogs now cause the puppy wouldnt leave the super cancer ridden dog alone, and Im able to get her cbd regularly here, so shes always comfortable now instead of just?? Sometimes which is a lot nicer. We didnt think shed make it to chrisrmas. I thought shed die with me home alone to take care of everything, like always. It was almost a relief, I wouldn't have to coach my brother through the grieving process at least, and I had already finished. Its hard now even, for me to realize she might even have another christmas (but I wont hold my breath)

I feel safer going outside here then I did in Austin. I only went out a handful of times in texas, for the last few months I was ordering almost all groceries, and only going to the store once mask mandates were mandatory (theyre not anymore. Im so worried for texas. I missed a huge freeze by mere months. I dont think my elderly dogs wouldnt survived it. If I was alone with them, Im not sure I woudlve.

My parents took my brother to mexico with them. I begged them not to go, told them how irresponsible it was to travel across boarders. To visit an island and take all the plane germs with. I told them that even if my mom and brother were staying at home all day with me, my dad was still going to work and he didnt know what his coworkers were doing. That they wouldn't know what the people on the plane were doing. That at any point they could become the stupid americans that killed half an islands population.

They left a week after today last year. The boarders were closed the next day. Their friend has been traveling back and forth ever since. I have no idea how, except for the fact shes white and rich and wont hesitate to destroy a child, so I can only imagine how shed treat costomer service.

I will no longer allow this angry aggressive woman to ever make me feel bad, and I will allow myself to finally fight back. Im an adult, maybe not all the time (cause lets be real I'll always be a bit too eccentric for most) but when I get angry and allow myself that anger, it's not a bad thing. Anger doesn't have to make me feel like Ive done something wrong. Im usually very just in my actions, and I wont allow my parents influence to tell me all anger is misdirected and hurtful for reasons I couldnt understand. Its okay for me to be angry.

I think being alone with animals for months is at least reassuring that my childhood was unreasonable if nothing else. Which of course is a silly polite society term for pretty fucked, if nothing else.

My aunt had to gall to say weve had a good 2020 cause our family wasnt hurt, and I had to walk away from the zoom call. I haven't attempted communication with any of them since, not that I normally do. Of course none of us died, all rich old white people, most of them retired and able to stay home all day (not that all of them did, I learned about my grandfathers routine and just.. Im honestly surprised no one got it yet. Of course I knew from the beginning if anyone was gonna get it and die, it probably wouldve been me. Hence the 8 months of solitude before the move.

Was the move in August?? Im so unsure about time. Even with 2020 vision.

I tried to date when I moved here. Strictly on tinder. What was the point? On and off testosterone due to the wonders of texas, hadnt changed my body nearly as much as they should've a year after being on them. I look much more handsome now. Im also allowing myself to toss gender aside completely. He/him doesn't mean man, and they/them dont mean nonbinary, so why not mix them since Im?? Not really either.

It wasnt even a thought process like that to start. Much more "this is nice" which I think more gender should be allowed to be. Dont gotta be deep just comfortable.

I wont ever allow my parents to forget what they did. I ended up with three dogs I didnt want (I was so looking forward to not having any dogs) and I ended up taking care of my brother. Again. Its easier without my parents at least. Everything always is. My dogs are even happier. Cami finally isnt anxious 24/7. Again, a sad reminder my childhood wasn't great. Daisy is healthier. Trauma can be stored emotionally or with health issues, often both. I think the cancer dog getting better and?? Surviving and thriving so much longer then the vet said (how good was my old vet?) Is another unfortunate nail in thay proverbial coffin.

Im not as soft and openly loving. Im even more touch starved somehow. Harsher. I still want to choose love and compassion, but Im not letting myself fall into the trap of being so nice people wont be nice to you. Fighting back is something I wont feel shameful about, because it never stopped me from doing it completely anyway.

I was already reaching this on my own though. This was just more coffins, more nails. This didnt need to happen. We know our government let this happen. Its still letting it happen. Im not sure when Im getting my vaccine. My big brothers sick of quarentine and keeps trying to get us to go out. Sometimes I yield, and we go to a park, or the top floor of the parking garage. I get a vegan hotdog from nearby. We talk and laugh and were genuinely just. Boys being boys.

I shouldn't have to deal with parent shit anymore. I do though, especially since two out of three are unemployed and we can really only afford to live here cause of them (they owe me if anything though. Especially with my brother and these animals) I hope I can get a job soon. Or maybe even go back to school. Im lucky I had so much saved up (for top surgery, which I guess wont happen before Im 25 like I really tried for. I wouldve done it before now, but texas waitlists and rules kept holding me up. I literally went to an appointment in dallas, a 4 hour drive, just to found out the surgeon canceled on me for the second time)

Its incredibly depressing, and I know Im lucky to have had that stash. So many people didnt have anything and lost so much. People lost people. Half a million at this point. I remember when it got to 300,000 and I just?? Felt so awful it was so close to how many people we lost to AIDS. Its over that by so many now. It doesn't really stop, does it??

Is that catholic guilt?? Or maybe just irish guilt in general. Is it something I inherited or earned through all the end of the worlds and once in a lifetime recessions Ive been through. Im not sure how many off the top of my head, theyve been coming since I was so small and its always more and more. Im not even catholic anymore. I cant stop being irish though, even though the brits tried (and succeeded. Weve lost a lot. The current royal cotastrophy is bullshit as well, the only person who deserves a royal title is from Meniappolos

My home is decorate all inside for st patrick's day. My big brother loves it so Im going all out, and its def making me feel much more irish then usual (which is a lot Im over half)

I think I just wanted to say Im not the same. I hope I can still be happy an obnoxious is public. I wonder if I remember how

[fatrainbowmermaidunicorn]

Girls Like You (Jungkook x You ONESHOT) (M)

A/N: This is my first full blown smut fic ever. Thank you anon for making me sin. And sorry this took so long. I need to find the courage to actually write a sentence that has my precious bunny and the word cock together. hahaha. 😂😂😂  As a reminder like always, I am not good in smut so please, show me some mercy, and you are welcome to skip the smut part if its too cringe worthy, the story would still be relevant. And yeah, as this is my first smut, the scenes are still quite vanilla. imma keep the nasty stuff for later. hahaha

MASTERLIST 

Jungkook slide his cock a few more times inside her wet, tight center, his face scrunched up in pleasure before he pulls out and crawl on top of her, thighs on both sides of her face, pumping himself directly to her mouth.

"Open wide for me baby. Tounge out,"

Obident as she has always been, Y/N quickly darted out her tounge like a starved man waiting for Jungkook to fill her mouth up with his creamy bitter liquid. Jungkook wrapped his hand around his rigid cock and pump a few more times before shooting up his load on the tounge that is laid out in front of him. Just like the good girl that she is, Y/N swallows everything without question, licking her lips when she's done and open up her mouth to show that she has swallowed it all like a good obidient girl.

"That was amazing as always baby girl," Jungkook smirked as he reached out on top of her head and released her bound wrist from the leather that held it to the headboard. He swiftly starts to put his boxers back on and button up his shirt, looking at Y/N who just flashed him an obligatory smile, slowly pulling up the blankets to cover her naked and dirty body that has been throughly used by him just minutes ago.

"Here's something for you," he throws a wad of cash on the bedside table. "I wont be coming tomorrow night. As usual. So you dont have to wait for me. Use the money to go shopping or something," he smile and without even looking back he walks out from her room and her apartment, leaving Y/N alone in the luxurious apartment, feeling disgusted with herself like she always does whenever he leaves after getting his way with her.

Living a life as a sugar baby is not something Y/N has ever imagined herself being. In fact, she felt disgusted by her friends who proudly brags about the expensive jewellery or holiday trips their supposed daddies, boyfriends, sir or whatever it is that they call them, has brought for them. All those luxuries comes with a price of course. A price they dont seem to mind paying at all.

Their body.

"Oh come on Y/N. Its just sex. And you are doing it with a young, hot and wealthy man anyway, not some old perverted hag. You are the one who is getting more of the advantage actually, you get both money and pleasure," Min Hwa grins at her. Min Hwa is one of her first friend since she entered college, she dont really considered them to be best friends, but Y/N do talk and spend a lot of time with her. And ever since Min Hwa has been in the sugar baby scene, she has a lot more money to spend on her friends for coffee and snacks sessions, and who is Y/N to say no to free food. Her starving student ass could never resist that.

Min Hwa always talk, no, bragged, about how great it is to be a sugar baby, especially when her daddy is some young hot shot CEO who has too much money to waste. Y/N never fail to cringe whenever she talks about it but today... well its different. Today, this topic sparks her interest.

As a medical student studying to be a doctor, her years of studying is long and expensive. With a sick mother and two younger siblings to take care of, Y/N's part time jobs doesnt seem to cut it anymore. Quitting her studies is not something she wants to do, but is her dream big enough for her to hold on to to actually consider living the life like Min Hwa?

"Really Y/N. You are absolutely hot! Look at your face. Your body! You can get in no problem. And let me tell you a secret," she leaned in closer. "Jungkook is looking for another baby girl for him," she giggles, making Y/N swallow nervously. Is this her friend's way to help her find a solution to finance her study and family? Somermthing suddenly spark her curiousity.

"Wait. Isnt this Jungkook your boyfriend or whatever you call him?"

"He is not my boyfriend Y/N. I just calls him Jungkook and sometimes daddy in bed," she winked.  "But never ever calls him oppa or you will be punish. He hates that the most. Not that I mind being punished by him," she lets out a laugh as Y/N just stare at her. Is she for real right now? Is it that fun to have sex for money? "And to answer your question, yes. Why?"

"You mean... you are not the only girl he do this... arrangement with?" Min Hwa shakes her head.

"Of course not. He is young and absolutely delicious looking. He is freaking hot Y/N. You should see him. Not to mentioned he is incredibly rich. Money means nothing to him. Of course I am not the only girl. Even I would get myself a barrage of girls if I am him,"

"And you dont mind this? Sharing him?" Min Hwa shrugged as an answer.

"Nope. Not at all. Its not like he is my boyfriend Y/N. He buys me things and gives me money for whatever I need.  And my job is to make sure he is satisfied whenever he comes to see me and that is all there is to it," she swirled the straw in her drink. "Besides, Jungkook keeps an open relationship with his girls. We are free to meet other boys and we can end the agreement whenever we decide to get serious with someone else,"

"Oh... that's interesting," Y/N nodded her head. That really is. She felt a little more relaxed an assured upon hearing that. So this Jungkook is not some kind of a sex crazed monster then. Usually, the stories she heard about this type of relationship, if you can even call it that, is more possesive and one sided. The girl wont usually be allowed any other interaction with other males. But then again the man dont usually have many girls at the same time. Maybe that's why this Jungkook doesnt mind? Because who knows how many girls he has to keep him company anyway?

"Jungkookie only has one crucial rule though. Never fall in love with him. If you do, the arrangement is over immediately," Min Hwa warned.

"Does that ever happen?" Y/N is curious. How can anyone ever falls in love with a cold man who uses his money to pay young girls for pleasure? "His girls falling in love with him?"

"Oh babe. You cant imagine how many did. Jungkookie is sweet. He treats you nicely. He talks to you and ask you about your day and he will make sure not to cross any of your boundaries. Not to mention he is extremely, and I repeat, extremely, good and amazing in bed," Min Hwa winked. "So Y/N, are you in?"

And that is how Y/N ends up underneath Jungkook one week later.

Their first meeting was a little awkward. Of course it is. She is meeting with some stranger to have sex with him. For money. But Min Hwa was right. Jungkook makes her feel comfortable, he talks to her, asking about her interests and even making small jokes to ease up the tension. And not to mention incredibly good looking. Her heart slightly beat faster when he flashed her a smile and it almost burst everytime their bare skin accidenrally touched

"I only have a few conditions Y/N, if you may call it that," he flashed her a cute bunny smile, something that makes him look so innocent if not for the knowledge of what they are discussing right now. Y/N nodded as a sign for him to proceed.

"One, I can come and go whenever I want and whenever I do come, you will always be ready for me. I will tell you beforehand if I'm not coming on certain days so that you can make your own plans," Y/N nodded. Sounds reasonable.

"Two, this is strictly a sex relationship. You are free to meet anyone else that you one but if you do sleep with them, you need to wear protection and inform me about it," Well, nothing to worry about there. Y/N has only ever did it a few times and that is only with her first boyfriend a long time ago. Its already hard enough for her to decice to sleep with one guy, let alone multiple partners? Not likely going to happen.

"Three, I like to, you may call it, experiment in bed, so you will tell me if anything I want to do is too much for you and I will stop. Dont ever be afraid to tell me that. Its not just about my pleasure. Its about yours too," he smile and Y/N's heart beats faster. Can someone like him actually be caring?

"Four, the moment you agree, I will be giving you an apartment to live in and a car. The car will be under your name. Which you do not have to return when we end this arrangement. It will belong to you. I will also give you monthly expenses and extra bonus for everytime we fucked," Y/N cringe at his vulgar choice of words but what can she do. He is only saying the truth. That is what she is here for. To fuck.

"And finally, five. This is the most crucial rule. Do not, under any circumstances, fall in love with me. Or catch feelings or whatever you call it. If I found out, this arrangement ends immediately, no questions asked," Y/N nodded. Well, Min Hwa has warned her about that before.

"Any question?"

"Uh n-no sir," she shakes her head.

"Call me Jungkook," he smiles. "But you can call me sir in bed if you prefer," he winks.

/////

"Fuck, you are so fucking tight Y/N. I should have known that from the innocent look you gave me today, nobody has ever fucked you this good isnt it? Its alright daddy will take care of you," Jungkook pants as he slide his cock in and out her drenched pussy. One hand holding the back of her knee to make sure she wrapped it tight around his waist while the other is holding the headboard tightly, to help bracing himself as he rammed continuosly into her. Y/N was lost for words. The white hot pleasure surging through her leave her speechless. With the way Jungkook occasionally take a hard nipple in his mouth, rotating from one side to another, suckling and teasing the hard nub, the way his fingers rub her clit so fast, all the while his cock keeps on thrusting into her, Y/N feels like dying from the extreme pleasure.

"I-I'm coming Jungkook. Fuck,"

"Come baby girl. Let me feel you all over my cock," he leans down and start kissing her neck, one hand going between their sweaty bodies to rub her engorged clit faster and faster, and in no time at all Y/N was clenching all over his cock, her orgasm coming in multiple wave. Her loud moans being captured by Jungkook mouth as he keeps thrusting into her through her orgasm. Feeling her walls clenching tightly around him is too much for Jungkook to handle and he quickly pulls himself out.

"On your knees,"

Confused at his demand at first, Y/N finally crawled in front of him and kneeled down, hands obidiently folded in her lap as Jungkook hastily stroked his cock up and down, sweat dripping from his forehead to his delicious abs.

"Fuck, here it comes babygirl," He finally shoots his load onto her face, white sticky liquid smeared everywhere from her hair down to her chin. Jungkook pants from the satisfying pleasure he just experienced and flopped down on the bed. "You look gorgeous with my cum on your face baby girl," he grins and heads out to the bathroom.

Shaken by her first experience of sleeping with this incredibly handsome and not to mention talented man, Y/N sat at the corner of the bed, waiting for him to get out from the bathroom, still confused and not knowing what she can and couldnt do. This is their first time together after all. Jungkook came out from the bathroom already fully dressed and chuckle at the sight of Y/N, still fully naked with his cum on her face sitting like a good girl she is on the bed waiting for his next instructions, her arms shyly covering her bare chest. Seeing her looking all wide eyes and innocent, staring up at him makes his cock stirred again but he knows once is enough for her tonight. It is their first time together afterall.

Maybe he can trained her to take more later.

"Why are you just sitting there?"

"I-uh I dont know what I'm supposed to do. What I am allowed to do," she answered, looking down at her fingers. Jungkook chuckles. How can someone so sweet and innocent be willing to be involved in something like this? With someone like him?

"You can go clean yourself up babygirl. I think I have tire you enough for tonight," he smiles and Y/N quietly stood up and went into the bathroom. After a quick shower and changing into a set of fresh and clean clothes, Y/N went out only to find the apartment empty and a stack of cash on her night table, and she has never ever felt more dirty.

/////

Jungkook came over quite often after that night, which surprises her. Min Hwa told her before that Jungkook had different girls for every day of the week and he will only visit them once a week, on their designated day. But Jungkook never say anything to her, nor has he set a specific day for her. It has been a month and he has come to her for almost every night.

Nights with Jungkook were never boring. Sure, she still feels dirty and guilty after but she cant deny the pleasure Jungkook gave her every night, or the multiple pleasure he gave her on some nights. Jungkook is amazing in bed, he taught her various new things, experimenting with toys and things Y/N never even know existed. But that wasnt the best part for her. To her the best part is after all the sweaty and dirty sex they have, the part when Jungkook is willing to stay over and would let her cook up some ramen or heat up some leftovers and they would sit on the kitchen bar, talking about each other's life.

Y/N never expected a sugar daddy relationship to be like this. She always thought its all about the pleasure and the money, no in betweens. But after a month of late night talks, she realizes Jungkook is nothing like the man she imagined him to be. He is funny, interesting, childish, competitive, smart and creative. He is a man who have dreams and fears. Shredding the expensive suits, the shiny watches and devilish smirk, Jungkook is only just a normal ordinary man, and that is the part of him that she likes best.

/////

"H-how was your day today?"

Five words were stuttered to him. Five words that change everything he thought he knew. Five words that Y/N said to him after one of their steamy nights as he is tying his expensive leather shoes, ready to leave. Five words that is softly uttered to him, laced with fear of him flipping out from the question, by the girl who was wrapped only in the blanket over her naked body, peering behind the wall, eyes innocently wide. Five words that makes him stop what he is doing and turn back inside.

No one. No one has ever asked him that question. No one ever cares how his day has gone by. All the people around him only cares about how many millions did he gain today? How many projects did he get his hands on today? Is he interested in some new land? The girls he fucked only cares about the jewelleries he bought them. The fancy new dress he will bring them. The branded handbags he will purchase for them. Nobody cares if he has eaten, or if he is feeling well or if the world around him chewed him up today. For years Jungkook tries to find salvation from his lonely life in the form of shallow entertainment, getting drunk and high, taking advantage of the girls that is blinded by his wealth, when all he ever wants is someone to talk to. Someone who is really willing to listen to him. Someone who actially cares.

And when Y/N looks back at him with her innocent wide eyes, hands nervously gripping the sheets covering her body, slightly shaking from fear of upsetting him, the sincerity of her question shone through, Jungkook knows he has finally found that someone.

So he keeps coming back.

Without realizing, a month has passed by where he had spend most of his nights with Y/N instead of his other daily girls. He feels lighter whenever he came by, and its not just because the things they do in bed, and trust him, Y/N is amazing in bed. Shy at first, now she seems to be more into it, willing and eager to try eveeything he suggested. It makes him extremely happy to see her enjoy herself. In fact, unlike with how he usually is with his other girls, Jungkook seems to focus more on bringing her the pleasure instead of thinking of what he wants and what he needs first.

"You look pretty," he smiles at Y/N who just came out from the bathroom after their mind blowing fuck session together, drying her hair, dressed in a very simple night gown. Most of the girls he slept with will wrapped themselves in expensive silk and complucated designs. Designs that are supposed to interest him, supposes to make him wants them even more, but he never even batt them an eye. All of them are just the same to him. Willing to be fucked as long as he pays for it. How is it that this girl who is dressed in a very simple white cotton night gown managed to make his cock stir again? Making his heart beats faster? Jungkook tries to pushed his desire aside but when Y/N actually blush from his compliment, none of his girls are innocent enough to blush from a simple compliment, Jungkook knows he is already gone.

He immediately stood up, making the silky sheets thats covering his naked body slide off, revealing taut muscle and his red hard cock, already weeping, hard and ready for another round, making Y/N's eyes widen as she gazed at the beautiful man stalking towards her.

"How are you doing this to me?" His voice is raspy and ragged with lustful breath as he leans and hungrily captured her lips with his. Y/N was beyond surprise. During the time they had spend together, Jungkook never once kissed her. Kissing means feelings he said. Kissing means intimacy. Kissing meant someone special and none of them are that to him. That is what he said. So why is he kissing her now? Y/N doesnt have the time to ponder about his real reason as he starts to bit her lower lips and his tounge proding her mouth, asking for entrance which she immediately allows. Jungkook taste sweet, with a mix of alcohol and mint and all around just pure Jungkook. A taste so intoxicating and heavenly, Y/N knows she is already addicted to.

"Take it all off for me baby," Without hesitation Y/N slides down the straps of her night gown and let the material pool at her feet. Revealing herself bare except for a matching white cotton panties she wore underneath. Jungkook drink in every little skin that is revealed to him and leans closer, lowering his head to her breast, capturing one hard nub, suckling a hard nipple in his mouth, making Y/N moan louder and louder, her hands trying so desperately reaching for the walls behind her for support before her weak knees gives out on her. Jungkook continues his ministration, switching from one nipple to other while his fingers deftly grazed her clothed core, making her breath nkre raghed at his touch.

"J-jungkook,"

"God. I love it when you moan my name baby girl. But I think you can go loider than that. And I surely can make it louder," he smirked and swiftly went down on his knees placing his nose between her legs right where ahe wants him the most and inhaled her intoxicating smell.

"Ermmm I love that smell baby girk. The smell that shows just how wet you already are for me," Y/N can already feel herself getting wetter just from his words and apparently Jungkook can see it too by the wet patch forming on her clean white panties. Without waiting for an answer, he pulls her already ruined panties down her leg, revealing her drenched pussy to him.

"So beautiful. Always so beautiful," he whispered loud enough for her to hear as he uses his thumb and forefinger to spread open her pussy lips and give a small soft kiss to her clit.

"J-jungkook!"

"You like that baby hmm?" Y/N can feel him smiling as his warm wet tounge start to lick a broad stripe before he increases his speed and lapped up her whole sex, slowly and soft at first and slowly start to pick up the pace. Y/N feels like losing her mind at the pleasure, her hands starts to pull on his hair as Jungkook suckle on her already engorged clit. It didnt take her long to reached her orgasm, releasing her juice all over Jungkook's tounge and face, which he happily lapped up as she rode her high. He stood up with a smile and face her,  licking the corner of his mouth, turning her on even more.

"Your taste is addictive baby," Y/N was panting, too caught up in her strong orgasm that she didnt resist when Jungkook kissed her again, hungrily, tounge proding into every inch of her mouth, making her taste herself before spinning her around, pinning her chest to the wall. She can feel his hard cock grazing the curve of her ass and Jungkook pushed her back to make her bend over. He sticks his chest on her back, placing his face only a centimeter from hers, his warm breath and his scent sending tingle to her whole body.

"Tell me you want me baby girl. Tell me. I want to hear you say it,"

"I-I want you Jungkook. Please. Please fuck me,"

Jungkook lost all control at her words and immediately slide his cock fully into her, thrusting slowly at first, trying to enjoy the feel of her warmth walls enveloping him. He round his hands over her body and cupped both of her breasts, fingers twiddling with her nipples making her moan louder.

"You like it baby? You like me fucking you from the back againsts this wall? You want me to fuck you harder?" Jungkook growled as he starts to kiss the side of her neck, biting and grazing his teeth against it.  "Tell me. Tell me what you want!"

"Yes Jungkook. Yes. Fuck me harder, please. Oh god!" Jungkook immediately picks up his pace, thrusting and pounding into her fast and hard, the only sounds filling the room is their mixed ragged breaths and moans. Jungkook can feel her getting closer and closer by the sound of her breath and how tight she is clenching around him. One hand reached down her body and start to rub her clit fast and hard, helping her to reach her high,  needing her to come first, to make sure she feels the pleasure first.

"Oh God Jungkook, I'm- ahhhh I'm coming,"

Her walls clenched so hard around him that Jungkook immediately releases himself inside of her a second later. Panting from their mind blowing orgasm, Jungkook turns her around and captured her lips for a long hard kiss, and once again, taking her by surprise.

Y/N closes her eyes as he moulded his soft lips against hers. She slowly kissed him nack, taking in every kittle taste of him that she could, deciding to just enjoy this moment. The moment that Jungkook really felt like he belong to her.

"Y/N?" A hand wave in front of her, startling her from her daydream. She snapped back to reality only to see her classmate looking at her weirdly, the class already empty. "Uh, class has been over for 10 minutes now and you have been staring at nothing for the whole two hours of lecture. Are you sure you are okay?" Y/N flashed her a smile and nodded.

"Yeah. Yeah. I am totally fine. Just thinking about what to eat tonight," her friend looks at her, obviously not believing her lie but decides not to ask further. Y/N gathered her books and left the class, walking slowly back to her apartment. Well, Jungkook's apartment. Not that he has been around much lately.

Truth is, Jungkook is the one who has been plaguing her mind. She cant understand him at all. He came over almost every night for a month, take time to talk to her, get to know her and make her feel like they have some kind of a connection other than just sex for money, and he kissed her that night, and then he just left?

That night.

That night will be the night that Y/N will treasure forever. Jungkook made love, yes, she can finally calls it making love and not some raw fucking like he usually did this time, three times that night and he kissed her. Multiple times. She knows it must mean something to him too. She can feel it in his kiss and the gentle way he cuddles her between sessions.

But when she woke up the next morning, he was gone. No text, no note, no calls nothing. And she didnt hear from him for almost three weeks now. The only thing that confirms he is still well and alive is the fact that her account balance keeps on increasing.

What did she do wrong?

Has Jungkook finally had enough of her?

Just the thought make her heart clench. The thought that she might never see him again, talk to him, see his smile, hear his laugh, feel his touch. It scares her to no end. And thats when Y/N realizes she is fucked.

She fell in love with Jeon Jungkook.

And maybe he knows it too, and thats why he went away.

Y/N didnt have to wonder for long where he is when she saw his expensive Italian made shoes at the doorway. A huge smile immediately creeped up her face at the thought of seeing him. She misses him, and although she knows its wrong, she cant help it.

She's in love.

Her smile quickly dissappear when she take another step further into the apartment and saw two pairs of women's red high heels that definitely didnt belongs to her. Did Jungkook brought someone home? Its fine of course, it is his house anyway, but why would he bring his girls to where she is? After dissappearing for weeks? What is he trying to proof?

As she entered the living hall that is situated right in front of her bedroom, she can finally hear it. Two women's voices screaming out Jungkook's name and his ragged breathing. Is this really happening? Did Jungkook really brought back his girls to her place and fuck them in her bedroom? Of all places, her bedroom?

"Fuck Jungkook faster," a raspy women's voice scream out, which Y/N quickly named as women #1. Her heart starts to ache. "Oh god, Jungkook, you are eating me out so well, fuck baby," there goes women #2.  She knows. She knows she is not the only one. That is fact. But must he do this to her?

She thought what they had, what she felt that night was special.

Maybe... maybe it really is just sex and what they had is really nothing special to him at all.

Y/N tried to calm her heart but it breaks into pieces with what she heard next.

"God, you are beautiful," Words that he used to say to her.

"Kiss me Jungkook," and wet sloppy sound of kisses filled the room. Y/N couldnt handle it. She really does mean nothing at all to Jungkook. Just another girl. Another sex doll to him. Those nights spend talking and revealing her heart apparently meant nothing special to him.

She is nothing special to him.

She braced herself and curled into a ball on the couch, waiting for them to be done, and thankfully it didnt take long. The two girls, hair and makeup ruined, smile shyly at her as they put on their shoe and pull on their dresses, adjusting it, somehow trying to make themselves look presentable enough for the outside world before they went out, locking the door behind her.

Jungkook came out a few second later, shirtless, hair messy, body filled with marks and scratches and he gave a cold glare as he noticed Y/N sitting on the couch. Y/N cant understand it. Why is he being so cold to her. What did she ever do to him that make him changed?

"Oh, you are back. Sorry, we borrowed your room, thought you will be in class all day," His words so cold, only giving her a side glance as he uttered the words.

"Y-yeah okay..."

"What's with you?" He asks questioningly as if he didnt do anything wrong. Well, come to think of it, he really didnt do anything wrong but why does Y/N's heart  breaking?

"Me? What wrong with you?" Y/N find some courage to actually questioned him, something she has never done, not even once during their time together. Jungkook raised an eyebrow at her defiance.

"Are you... are you seriously defying me? Talking back to me?" He took a few steps closer towards her. Y/N gulped in fear. Despite everything she has been feeling for him, fear is still a big part of it.

"I-I'm just asking you. Yo-you didnt call or text for weeks and-"

"Baby girl is so feisty today," he smirked, taking long strides towards her, now already standing right in front of her, carressing her cheeks. Y/N, although scared and mad at him, feels herself gets weaker with his touch, leaning into his palm. God, she missed him. "Since when have you been such a naughty girl huh? You know daddy doesnt like that," Jungkook snarled and pull her down on the couch, laying her down on his lap. All thoughts of questions and anger flies out from her mind the moment Jungkook lifted up her skirt and carressed her ass, pushing down her panties to leaving it at her thights, restraining her movements, his hands palming her bare ass. "Such a beautiful sight. Too bad you have been a bad girl today, so you must received your punishment. Do you understand me? Hmmm?" Y/N can only moan at the sensation she felt as his palms keep carressing her ass cheeks. Shit, she can feel herself dripping on Jungkook's thighs.

"Answer when daddy ask you a question baby girl,"

"Y-yes daddy," Y/N can feel Jungkook's cock twitch when she called him what he wanted to hear and it just turns her on more. Pleasing him. Theres no bigger turn on than that in her books.

"Count," was what he said before his cold palm hits her bare ass, rotating from cheek to cheek leaving beautiful stinging red marks.

"O-one,"

"Hmmm, beautiful. Red is really your colour baby girl," Each spank he kanded on her will be accompanied with gentle carressed from Jungkook's cold hands, making her moan louder everytime, the sensation bringing both pain and pleasure to her.

"Fif-fifteen," her voice weak and the last slap hits her ass. Jungkook scooped her up and kiss her lovingly, tounge hungrily lapping hers before putting her down.

"You did great baby girl, and good girls shall be rewarded," Y/N eagerly nodded, willing to take whatever it is Jungkook's going to give her. She didnt know how did she become this pathetic, this desperate for a man's touch. But this is not just any man, this is Jeon Jungkook, and she is willing to do anything to feel his skin on hers.

"Get on all fours," Y/N quickly scrambled to get into position on the couch, her ass and pussy spread wide for Jungkook to see in that position. He lightly grazed her plush ass, giving it a kiss. "So soft, so beautiful, all mine, right?" Y/N nodded without a doubt, looking over her shoulders to see Jungkook pumping his already very hard cock, pre cum leaking from the tip. The sight make her even wetter, if that is even possible. He grazed the head of his cock around her drenched pussy, collecting all her wetness and slap her clit a few times with his cock. The sensation felt so good, Y/N almost felt like cumming right then and there.

"D-daddy, please," she keeps on begging, but he ignores her, continuing to tease her sopping pussy.

"Beg for dadd baby girl,"

"D-daddy please. I- want more,"

He finally have mercy on her and lined his cock to her entrance sliding in the head, fucking her shallowly.

"Do you think you deserve more? You think you deserve Daddy's cock tonight?" He lands another slap on her ass making her moan.

"Y-yes D-daddy. I've been good,"

"Hmm," he keeps on thrusting slowly, watching only the tip slides in and out of her. "You are right. You have been a good girl, and daddy promises good firls shall be rewarded," and slides himself fully in her. Y/N let out a loud moan at the sensation of him filling her up and Jungkook needs a minute to adjust himself as her tight walls starts to envelope him. "Fuck baby girl, you are so tight. You havent been fuck for a long time didnt you? Daddy is sorry he left you for so long baby girl. But Daddy will take care of you now," and with that he starts to thurst harder and harder, hands pressing on her back, burying her face in the couch. It didnt take long for the both of them to reached their peak, screaming each other's name as their explosive orgasm crashed through.

Jungkook and Y/N lay beside each other, panting. Jungkook kissed her sweaty forehead, a move that didnt go unnoticed by Y/N, making her feel like crying again. She wrapped the blanket around herself and finds the courage to open her mouth, to find the truth she has been seeking for.

"Wh-where did you go for the last three weeks?"

"I just had some things to do that doesnt concerns you," his cold exterior came back, the smile quickly vanish from his face. Y/N gulped at his cold respond and decides to ask something else instead.

"W-why did you bring those girls here?" Her voice small and anxious, afraid of what he might do or say. Jungkook immediately stood up and start to find his clothes. "Wait!" She panics. "Where are you going?"

"Just because I'm nice to you, you think you have the right to ask me questions? Who do you think you are? My girlfriend? You think you are special?!" He growled, hands stopping midway from buttoning his shirt, fuming with anger.

"N-no. But I thought-"

"Well, whatever you thought, you thought wrong!" He walks towards her, looming over her on the edge of the bed. "You are just one of the many girls that I fucked under a contract. For money. Dont even for a second think that you are special or different from any of them,"

"Jungkook, I just-"

"The fact that you actually agreed to this has already proof how you are just a shallow gold digger with no pride or self respect. Selling your body for money, and you thought I would see you as something special?" he lets out a sarcastic laugh. It hurts. His words hurts like crazy. Jungkook knows the reason why shes doing this. She told him during one of their late night talks. He also knows she never used his money more than what is necessary for her mother and her two siblings. She never asks for anything more from him. He knows all this but yet why is he saying all this things?

"Why are you even crying? Isnt what I said true?" He mocked.

"Why are you being like this?!" She screamed out. "This is not you. I know the real you Jungkook. You are not like this. Please, tell me whats wrong, I will help you go through it! But dont do this. Dont ruined what we had!"

"What we had? What the fuck are you talking about? You are delusional!"

"No Jungkook!" She cried out. "I know you felt it too!" Tears are already rolling down her cheeks. Who is she kidding? His word is more than just hurts her, it kills her. Jungkook scoffed.

"Just because we have a few talks you think you know me?" He lets out a dry laugh. "Everything I do is just a rust to get you into bed sweetheart," he smirked and carressed her cheeks, which is wet with tears.

"No. Th-thats not true. I know its not. Jungkook please,"

"I'm sorry you fell for it, but hey.. at least you get paid for it," he lets out a loud laugh, which sounds so evil, so sadistic to her ears.

"Why are you acting like this?" Y/N sobbed. "This is not you. This is not the Jungkook I fell in love with..."

Jungkook's eyes turned soft for a second, Y/N is sure she is not imagining it but it was gone in a matter of second, replaced by the cold hard glare.

"You love me?" He turns towards her and Y/N weakly nodded. No point of hiding that fact anymore. "Then, this arrangement is over sweetheart. Leave this apartment by tomorrow," he cupped her chin and looked into her eyes. Y/N stare into his brown doe eyes, hoping to find the Jungkook that she knows once again, but nothing. Only this monster remains. "Tsk, too bad. You are a good fuck too," was his last words before he walked out of the apartment, leaving Y/N crumpled alone on the floor.

/////

"I can obviously tell there's something bothering you," Taehyung walked into the large expensive mansion own by his childhood bestfriend, the most sought after billionaire Jeon Jungkook, careful not to step on the bottles of expensive wine, vodka and champange scattered on the floor. Taehyung lets out a small laugh at the sight of his friend in his silk custom robe, sprawled out on the large leather sofa. Even when he is getting shit drunk hes doing it with style and expensive alcohol.

Must be nice to be Jeon Jungkook.

"Go away Tae,"

"Sorry Kook. Not gonna happen," he flopped down beside the distressed man. "Whats going on? I have seen you went through hell and back and back again and never once were you like this. What could have happened that could make the mighty Jeon Jungkook holed up in his extremely expensive mansion?"

"I dont want to talk about it, go away Tae," he leans down to reached out to a half empty bottle of vodka but Taehyung snatched it away.

"Oh no no. Dont think you are getting off that easy. I'm not leaving until I get an answer and you know how persistance... and annoying I can be," he smirked. Jungkook sighed. Well, what Taehyung said is true. He is very, very annoying. Especially when he is trying to get what he wants. He wont stop until he succeeds. And right now he wants some answers from Jungkook. After much consideration and thinking, Jungkook accepted the fact that he has no choice if he wants Taehyung to leave. So he opens his mouth and start the to tell him the cause of the pain in his heart.

"Her name is Y/N..."

/////

"Well... I dont know what to say," Taehyung leans back into the couch after Jungkook finished off his story. So that's what it is. His friend is in love! Who would have thought. The news should have shocked Taehyung if he didnt know the sweet innocent Jungkook the boy used to be. The Jungkook that is capable of love and being loved. "What I dont understand is, why did you even say any of those things if you dont mean it?"

"I was scared okay? I have never, and I mean never felt like this before. The feeling of having someone actually cares for me, wanting to know me, worried about me. It feels strange Tae, but I- I like that feeling. The feeling of being loved," Jungkook sighed. "And that night... that night was the first time I kissed someone after a long time Tae. And it felt wonderful. It felt amazing. Its electrifying, it sends tingles through my whole body," Taehyung gaped at his friend. Is this really Jeon Jungkook? Talking to him about feelings?

"Everytime I look at her I feel like protecting her Tae. I want to give her everything that could make her happy. I hate to see her sad, even worse when she cries. It breaks my heart to see her in pain," he lowered his gaze to the floor.

"Tae?" Jungkook raised his head and finally looked into his friend's eyes after hours of swallowing in self pity. "Is this... is this what love feels like? Is this... is this what they called love?"

Taehyung chuckled out loud at Jungkook's question. His box smile showing. He finally see the innocent and adorable friend he met years ago when they were just little kids. The innocent and sweet boy, before life took a hard turn and change him into the cold wealthy man he is today.

"Yes Jungkook. It is safe to say that you are in love,"

/////

Jungkook stood outside the coffee shop, hands sweaty as he grip the bouquet of flowers in his hand. The cafe is filled with teenagers, college students mostly and he have never felt out of place. But if he wants Y/N back, then this is what he have to do.

"What are you afraid of? She herself told you she loves you and from the stories you told me about her, I dont think she's the type of person who change her heart so easily Kook. I'm pretty sure she still loves you. She just need to know that you love her,"

Well, at least that's what Taehyung told him. And up to that moment, Jungkook had believed that it might be true. But looking at Y/N expressionless place standing in front of him right now, he isnt so sure anymore.

Y/N cross her arms in front of her chest, foot tapping anxiously.

"What are you doing here Jungkook?"

"I-uh I came to see you,"

"Why?" Her cold respond makes him even more nervous than he already is. He have met thousands of the most important people in this world, but none had make him feel this nervous, small and insecure more than this simple girl in front of him.

"To... to say I'm sorry," Y/N raised an eyebrow. "I'm sorry Y/N. For everything," She kept quiet for a moment before finally nodded.

"Fine. I accept your apology," Jungkook's heart almost stop. Did she really just forgive him just like that? After everything he said and done to her? "So please, dont show your face to me ever again. I dont want to see you and remind me of the biggest mistake of my life," she added before turning away. Her words hits him like a blade, piercing his heart. Jungkook immediately reached out for her hand, halting her from proceeding back into the shop.

"No, Y/N wait. Please," he plead. "Can... can we start over? Please? I want to make it up to you. To make things right. Please Y/N," Y/N sighed and close her eyes, Jungkook can see traces of tears starts to pool at the corner of her eyes when she opened them, making his heart hurt even worse.

"Please just leave me alone Jungkook. Please,"

"No!" Jungkook is determined. He finally know what love felt like and he is not going to let it go so easily. "No. I wont stop until you give me a chance Y/N. I realized it now. I was stupid. I was scared of my own feelings, and I hurt you, just because I was afraid. Please Y/N," Y/N didnt say anything but shakes her hand loose from his hold, turning away to leave him.

"Y/N, I love you!"

His sudden confession managed to make her stop in her tracks, turning around slowly. Tears are now trailing down her cheeks.

"Dont Jungkook. Dont insult my feelings like this!"

"No Y/N," he reached forward and hold one of her hand. "I love you. I am so desperately, madly in love with you. I'm sorry I didnt realized it sooner, admit it sooner. I am so so sorry. Please Y/N. Please give me a chance," he plead, sniffling as he tries to hold back his tears.

"No," that one word broke Jungkook into pieces. "No. I cant do this. I'm sorry," was all she said before she pulled back her hand and ran away as fast as she could from him.

"I wont give up Y/N. I wont lose you. I just cant lose you," Jungkook softly whispered between his uncontainable tears, but theres nobody there to hear it.

Jungkook came to the coffee shop everyday since then. Y/N could have just ignored it, but of course, being Jeon Jungkook, he have to go the extra mile and actually bought the whole freaking coffee shop and made sure no one else is allowed to come in except him. He also made sure that Y/N work on most hours, givinf her extra pay, knowing she needed it.And he just sits there all day long, staring at her. Y/N wanted to quit, she really really want to but the money is good and she cant afford to lose a job right now.

Y/N finally had enough when the second week of just sitting at the counter and having Jungkook stares at her all day rolled by and walked up to him. Furious and frustrated

"Alright. What the hell do you want?!"

"One date. I want you to go on one date with me," Y/N ponders on his word. The request seems simple enough.

"Just one date and then you will leave me alone?" Jungkook nodded, eyes bright with hope.

"Fine. One date. And thats it,"

/////

The dreadful day of the date finally came and Y/N was awaken bright and early by her doorbell. A man dressed in a perfectly tailored suit stood outside her door, smiling.

"Uh yes?"

"Good morning Miss Y/N," he beams and hands her a huge box. "With compliments from Mr Jeon," Y/N was surprised. What is all this about. What is Jungkook doing now?

"Uh thanks... I guess?"

"I will make sure Mr Jeon receives your thanks. And he also sends this," he motioned for someone to come over and another man suddenly came into the picture, holding the most beautiful and biggest arrangment of roses she has ever seen. "500 roses, to cheer up your morning," the man smile. "Thats all Miss Y/N. May you have a great day," he bowed and left, leaving Y/N speechless.

She placed the heavy bouquet of flowers inside her living room, stunned for a moment and curiously open the first box she received. If the flowers surprised her, whats inside the box makes her jaw dropped. Inside is the most beautiful dress she has ever seen, with matching shoes and a clutch bag. She picked up the note attached on the box.

"Dear Y/N,

I tried to find something to match your beauty, but nothing could compare to you. I hope this dress would suffice. Please wear it for our date tonight.

Love, JJK

Y/N smile a little at the cheesiness of the note and picked up the dress. It was beautiful, no doubt, but is it enough to make her forgive Jeon Jungkook?

/////

Jungkook arrived exactly on time that night. Impeccably dressed in a tailored suit that makes him look extremely mouth watering. Not that Y/N would ever tell him that. He smile as he take her hand and lead her inside the limousine. Yes, he came with a freaking limousine.

"You look beautiful Y/N," he beams and Y/N just gave him a small smile back. Jungkook tried to gave her the perfect date. Flowers, champagne, chocolates, candle light dinner at a 6 star restaurant where he had closed down for the night just for them. He even took her on a carriage ride to the deck, where he lead her up to his private yatch, and watch a huge firework show that he planned just for her. Everything was perfect, beautiful, just like in the movies, but everything seems so wrong. Is Jungkook really not the man she thought he is?

"Y/N? Are you not enjoying the date?" Jungkook asks, realizing her silence, brows furrowed with worry as they sit in the limo after coming down from the yatch. "Is there anything else I can do? Do you want a trip to Paris to see the Eiffel Tower? Or a romantic night in Venice? I could call my private jet and we could go right now. Tell me Y/N. I will give you anything you want. Please,"

"Just stop Jungkook. This isnt working. You are not the man I thought you are. The man that I fall in love with..."

"Wh-what do you mean?" Jungkook kneels down and hold her hands. "Show me Y/N. Show me how to be that man," Y/N ponders for a moment and a smile finally graced her lips.

"Stop the car," she said and took Jungkook's hands, leading him out.

"Where are we going?"

"I am going to show you the part of you that I fell in love with. The real you,"

"Are you having fun?"

"Oh my god. Yes! And can we please get another one of those cotton candy?" Y/N laughs at his request and nodded.

"Of course,"

Y/N had taken him, the most sought after billionaire in the world to a carnival slash arcade at the countryside. At first confuse, Jungkook is now enjoying every little thing there is to do at the place, laughing like little children as they tried each and every game. Exhausted after a whole night of laughing, they are now currenly sitting at a lake side, sitting on a grass eating take outs from McDonalds.

"I brought you to a 6 star restaurant and you barely touch your food, but you finished two burgers from McDonalds?" Jungkook glares at her.

"What can I say? I'm just a simple girl who enjoys simple things. Not firework watching on a private yatch and a Michellin star 6 course dinner Jungkook,"

Jungkook's eyes soften. "I'm sorry Y/N. For tonight," he sighed. "For everything..."

"Its okay," Y/N raised her head to look at him. "I just want you to see that you are so much more than your money. That I enjoyed our time together the best when we are doing things like this. Not everything is about your money Jungkook. And not everyone is all aboit your money too. You have so much quality to offer that makes you a great person. Qualities that make me fall in love with you," she averted her eyes. "I know that night... when you said those things to me... that wasnt you. The real you is the man whose eyes lights up when he talks to me about his dreams to become a musician, when he talks about his love for Iron Man," she chuckled, "That man... he is the real Jeon Jungkook. So... I forgive you Jungkook. For real,"

Jungkook's eyes brighten at her words, his bunny smile showing.

"But I also know that girls like me is not someone like you will look for and I'm okay with that. So Jungkook, thank you for tonight. Thank you for giving me one last chance to spend my time with the real you," she smile and was about to stand up and leave but Jungkook pulls her back down, his hand grasping hers tight.

"This is what I'm talking about Y/N. This is what makes it so difficult,"

"What do you mean?" Y/N looks at him confused.

"You were right. Girls like you are not suitable for me," Y/N nodded softly, eyes turning sad, but Jungkook cupped her chin and make her look straight into his eyes."Girls like you dont see me as just a meal ticket, a piece of meat. Girls like you take your time to see who I really am, to see the real me underneath all these cold and expensive masks I tried so hard to put on. Girls like you get to know me the way I dont even know myself. Girls like you... makes me realized there are people who actually cared about me. For the real me. Girls like you makes me smile during times I dont remember how to. Girls like you makes me forget the troubles that I have just by being next to me. Girls like you makes my heart beats faster just from the way they look at me. Girls like you makes me want to hurt everyone who ever make them cry. Girls like you makes me want to protect them, to care for them, to be there for them. Girls like you... makes me fall in love," Y/N was shocked. Is Jeon Jungkook trying to say he has fallen in love? It cant be real. It just cant.

"But..." his eyes dropped low, sadness shone in them although his hand never leaving hers. "Girls like you are sweet. They are pure and innocent. Girls like you are not meant to be in my world. My dirty, broken, damaged, world. Girls like you... guys like me... we dont deserve them. But Y/N," he lifted his head up and looks back into her eyes. "I'm a selfish man, I want something that I know I dont deserve and I am willing to give up everything for it," he peered into her already teary eyes.

"Is it okay Y/N? Is it okay for me to love a girl like you? To love... you?"

"J-Jungkook..." Her tears are already falling down her face with no intention to stop. Never had she imagined that he would say those words to her. Love. Jeon Jungkook loves her.

"Y/N?"

"Yes. Yes Jungkook," she smile between her tears, making Jungkook's heart beats like crazy at how beautiful she looks.

"I love you so much L/N Y/N. So so much. Thank you for loving me and showing me what love really is," he cupped her face softly and slowly leaned in to give the softest kiss she has ever received, filled with longing, hope and most of all, love.

Never in a million years would she have thought that a simple ordinary girl like her can make the Jeon Jungkook fall in love. But it turns out, girls like her is exactly what a boy like him needed.